Author has written 1 story for Fullmetal Alchemist, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.
Hi, i'm shit at writing profiles, so i'll just let you skip over the crap about pairings and all that fucked up stuff and just look at my favorites and stories.
But if you really need to know...
Location: America's Dick (Florida for anyone who doesn't get the Hetalia reference)
Pairings: anything with the US as an Uke
If you must know, I'm fuckin' Prussian, don't pull that "East German" crap on me. And I have been to all countries in the America's, Asia and Europe.
I speak 3 languages fluently; English (American version!) Prussian (Not German Damnit!) and Japanese. (Thank god I'm a fuckin' Otaku!")
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.When you drop a pen, don't pick it up. When someone reaches to pick it up for you, scream, "Wait! That's mine!!!"
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... Watch Anime
The Hetalia pledge
I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta.
I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room.
I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures.
I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich.
I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking.
I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous.
I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet.
I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender.
I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am.
I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores.
I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or I support another yaoi pairing.
I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name.
I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules.
I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas.
I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far.
I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems.
I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short.
I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess.
I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic.
I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature.
I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun.
I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different... or I'm celebrating the holidays.
I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy.
I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots.
I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare.
I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat.
I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear my a* off.
I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask.
I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!).
I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish.
I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved.
I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay.
I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong.
I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or I redefine "AWESOME."
I promise to remember Italy whenever someone mentions pasta
I promise to remember Germany whenever someome says West
I promise to remeber Japan whenever I see an Asain tourist taking pictures of brightly coloured cake
I promise to remember America whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac
I promise to remember England whenever I watch Doctor Who
I promise to remember France whenever I see a rose
I promise to remember China whenever I see Pikachu
I promise to remember Russia whenever I see a lead pipe
I promise to remember Lithuania whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian
I promise to remember Estonia whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian
I promise to remember Latvia whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian
I promise to remember Belarus whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother
I promise to remember Ukraine whenever I hear and or see HUGE boobs
I promise to remember Sweden whenever I pass by an IKEA
I promise to remember Finland whenever I hear someone say 'My wife'
I promise to remember Spain whenever I see a tomato filed
I promise to remember Romano whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing
I promise to remember Hungary whenever I see a frying pan
I promise to remember Austria whenever I hear someone play Chopin on the piano
I promise to remember Prussia whenever I hear someone say AWESOME
I promise to remember Poland whenever I pass a Valley Girl
I promise to remember Switzerland whenever I see a guy with a gun
I promise to remember Liechtenstein whenever I see a girl wearing a bow in her hair
I promise to remember Turkey whenever I think about Phantom of the opera.
I promise to remember Greece whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat
I promise to remember Egypt whenever I see a pyramid and or triangle
I promise to remember Canada whenever I see pancakes
I promise to remember Cuba whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream
I promise to remember Sealand whenever I see boat
I promise to remember Grandpa Rome whenever I see someone way to young to be a grandfather.
America is much smarter than he acts and the other nations know it.
He speaks nearly all of their languages, but only does so when trying to be particularly menacing.
He's cracked on the inside with only a temporary seal.
He's a timebomb.
He know's his own strength.
He's not afraid.
He'd die for his own people.
And it scares them.
America's enemies made the mistake that all of his enemies make.
They saw Liberty and thought they saw weakness.
And now they see defeat.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.
Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and anime/manga for the rest of the day.
Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.
Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Never knock on Death's door — ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When angry, count to ten; when very angry, swear.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile, and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I'm going to live forever, or die trying!
The only reason some people get lost in thought, is because it is unfamiliar territory.
Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out.
Love me, or hate me; personally I could care less
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. And if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" — a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that jerk upside the head.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Friends will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days”
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that?
Labels Are Stupid
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is jerk cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line.
Ain't it hilarious?
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