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Joined 01-25-04, id: 527700

So, you think you'rebio enough to read my bio...well bring it on punk. I'd say lets take it outside, but it's cold out, so...lets take it to your bio! Oh, WHAT NOW?

Yeah, not really, I'm just kind of bored. And listening to Girlfight, which may explain a bit too.

Umm anyways...so my name is Shannon, but you can call me basically whatever you want...everyone else does...having trouble coming up with a name? Just call me fat slut, it's an inside joke with basically our whole school, why not include my friends on here too?

My AIM SN is WriteAwayThePain or XoShannalynXo, IM me if you wnat but tell me who you are first!

My E-mail is [email protected] you can E-mail me there if you want!

I don't update Artemis Fowl Hotline anymore...my sense of humor has changed a lot, and while it still has some similar points as the humor used in AFH, I can't keep writing it without changing it abruptly and drastically. Really sorry to everyone who read that!

K, here’s an FAQ about…


And don't you dare skip it! No, actually you can. But I'll cry. :(

So…any new stories coming out soon? You bet!

1. The one I’m writing right now is LOTR, seven chapters long, and it will be called The Seven Deadly Sins of a Mary-Sue. It’s a fic that’s—you guessed it—mocking Mary-Sues! I’m almost finished with the first chappie, but it won’t be posted until I’m done with the whole story, so that, for once, I can post at regular intervals. I actually have a plot for this one, I know how it will end, and all that good stuff!

2. One that I’m planning in my head is a one-shot fic, a sad one probably, and it will probably be AF. A poem, I think…

And maybe some others...

Do you have any fics that you recommend especially, out of your faves?

Yes, actually, there are!


…what, I said yes!

sigh What are the fics? Oh…well then, you should have said that in the first place…anyways, I don’t feel like LISTING them!

Well how do you expect us to know them? It's called a favorites list, hon, it's down near the bottom.

Alright then, sorry…okay, well I used to be on your AA/Faves list, and you used to review my fic; what happened? I'm really sorry about that, but I just don't participate in FFN all that much anymore. My life is too busy now, and while I occasionally come on to find a good story or two, I'm not nearly as into it as I was in 6th grade, which was two years ago. So that explains the reviews. Also, if I took you off of my AA/Faves list, it was probably me just cleaning it out to make way for new people. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your story, but if you don't update anymore, whether for the same reasons as me or because your story is finished. Sorry bout that!

What are your stories, and what is the status of each? That’s two questions, smarty…but oh well…k, here are my fics and each of their statuses:

A. F. H: The one story I haven’t taken down…the first chapter isn’t very good, but oh well, the rest are okay! My first story, and my favorite one to write…I’m not updating a lot, just because I have a bit of writer’s block, but don’t worry, I’m not abandoning it!

H.I.H: Sorry, I took it down. No plot, no character development…still, I might post something like it some day…

P.F! HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN FOR RENOVATION ! Okay, now that I’ve successfully gotten your attention and then blown your eyes out with my excessive underlining and bolding, let me explain. Carmen, the main character in this story, is a major Mary-Sue, in my opinion, and I’m pretty sure that a lot of other people feel this way too. She was made because my friends wanted a character with the traits they liked, and that turned out bad. So she will be changed. A lot. But some things will be the same:

-Er, well, her name will still be Carmen

-She still won’t like her parents, but she’ll live with them…no abused past, just doesn’t really like them very much…but then again, what teenager DOES?

-She will still be a muggle-born

-She’ll still be half American half Hispanic

-She’ll still be a girl (or WILL she? No, seriously, she will)

-She’ll still have a bad temper

-She'll still swear lots

-She’ll still be very…how should I put it…well, just insane.

But some things will have changed:

-There will NOT be all of the outfit descriptions—I do not care that much about fashion, and I’d really like to leave them out, especially since that friend has left.

-She wont have the 'poser punk' look. She'll look...normal...but not.

-She won’t be able to sing—I don’t plan on having her sing well, or sing in public, or anything. She may embarrass her self by singing badly, though. Silly Carmen…

-She can't fight either...except maybe arm wrestling or something like that...but not professional fighting

-She will be more of a kid, as Grace put it, if that makes any sense. She’s just so…ugh, I dunno…unrealistic now

And I’m debating whether to take out the Sirius’s neice thing…

Also, I have to develop a plot, because right now, there isn’t one!

Thanks, that was so helpful…Don't back talk me bitch! is gangsta again

...Gah, I must stop doing that. But it's so entertaining!

Umm lets see, things that I like...

Writing, duhhh


CHIPMUNKS! Gotta lurve the chipmunks…

Uhhh…gosh, I don’t really have a lot of interesting things that I like…you know, that you would care about…oh well, let’s get on to things I hate, that’s much easier!

Things I hate:

-SPIDERS! THOSE THINGS ARE THE MOST EVIL, CREEPY, UGLY THINGS TO SCUTTLE AROUND ON EARTH! (I'm Arachnophobic, so that might explain it a bit. I had to cover my eyes when the spider in A Bugs Life - Yes, an animated Disney movie no less-came on)

-Creepy toys (Furbies, life size things, porcelain dolls, ECT.)


-Brittany Spears (Well no, hate is a strong word, I just think she’s such a slut…and not that smart either…)


-Animal killers


-My evil neighbors on my right side.


-George Bush (WHY did he win the election again? He's such a jackass, I swear…)



-Mimes. Those things are scary, evil, mean, and…and…just WRONG!


Name: Shannon and Bushy are my main aliases right now. Some other names are Bob, Bobetta, Olay OJ, Shanikwa, Shania Twain (My friend Taylor calls me those two to annoy me) Auntie Shannon, Aunt Bushy, and Albert.

Age: Take your pick:

1. Older than the people younger than me, but younger than the people older than me.

2. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care.

3. Same age as YOU!

4. 13 (Gee, I wonder which one you shall pick…what dya mean the THIRD one? It’s not the third one, you MORON! Well, unless your thirteen…)


Hair: Brown

Eyes: Blue with glasses. When I take off my glasses, I look dead. See death obsession above.

Gender: How the hell should I know? Ok, female, but I just think of myself as an it. The rest is not worth remarking on.

Residence: 5555 Five Drive, Insane Asylum no.23 padded cell #9

Phone number:


Fav. Color: Blue...or red...maybe purple...

Fav. Food: Goldfish crackers

Fav. Movies:

National Treasure
Pirates of the Caribbean
School of Rock
Harry Potter 1, 2, and 3
Princess Diaries (1 and 2)
Miss Congeniality
Haunted Mansion
Carmen: A Hip-Hopera
Bend it like Beckham.
Mean Girls
The Lord of the Rings
Napoleon Dynamite

Fav. Books:
Artemis Fowl (all)
Harry Potter (all)
Princess Diaries (all)
Series of Unfortunate Events (all)
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1 and 2
Fearless (Um, all the ones I’ve read…)
The Lord of the Rings (all)

Fav. Hobbies:
annoying people

Fav. Actors/actresses:
Johnny Depp
Anne Hathaway
Julia Stiles
Jack Black
Scarlett Johanasson

Fav. Singers:
Amy Lee (Evanescence),
Michelle Branch,
Avril Lavigne

Fave. Bands:
3 Doors Down
Linkin Park
Simple Plan
Terror Squad (LEAN BACK! WHOO!)



Fav. Phrases:

Drew: “My mother always used to say: When one door closes, a window opens.”
Weird Psychotic Worker That Drew Just Fired: “My mother always used to say: IF YOU DON’T CLOSE THAT DAMN DOOR, I WILL THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW!”
-The Drew Carry Show

In Spanish accent
I live in Mexico
I work at Texaco
and make a dollar a day.
I go to Walmart
to buy a Pop-Tart
and they take my dollar away…
-My friend Rachel got this from some guy at school who lived in Mexico, and said that they used to say it all the time there. You have to say the last part all sad, lol…Rather weird…

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.
-Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

-I actually forgot where I got this…I think it was MTV’s Boiling Point…

My name is Mr. CANF.
-Again, same place…

Some people say I've lost my marbles. I say I never had any to begin with, so stop treating me like a friggin' toy box-Me

Putting a fork in the microwave to heat it up is a bad idea. Your eyebrows will grow back faster if you use the toaster oven.
-Me (I would know, since I really did blow up a microwave by putting a fork in it...)

-Me, when I looked at the floor when the sun was bouncing off it. That warranted many odd stares from the people around me.

Ya know, I was lying in bed a few nights ago, staring at the stars thinking...where the hell is my ceiling?

Man! I got cactus thorns up my ass!
-Me, complaining about how someone pushed me into a potted cactus plant

Tweet tweet I'm a butterfly!
-The Gracifer

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and throw it back at life till it gives you the damn oranges you asked for!
-Yet another extended lemon metaphor by...I'm not sure...might be

Dude, it's the sky!
-One of my friends, looking up, right before she walked into a tree.

More crack for the old people!
-I forget where I got this one, but I remember laughing really hard when I first heard it.

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die"
-Jill, my Evil Twin talking to me about dead people, one of my fav. subjects.

The way I see it, religion goes like this. You go to church, you get credit, you fall asleep, and you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass Hell and upgrade right to Heaven.
-Tim Taylor, from Home Improvement.

Some people are like slinkies. Not very useful, but you still laugh when you push them down the stairs.

He who finds fault in his friend’s has faulty friends (MwuaHA Grace! MwuaHA!)

-IndianChild site for all of them

I think I'm high on Listerine Pocket Packs! (I got that one from Identity99's bio, to be exact-I remember that!)

I'm not closed-minded; you’re just WRONG!

You think you live on the edge? I fell off along time ago.

If you don't like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalk!

I know the rules; they just don't apply to me.

Why can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical outlet get along?

I'm totally pure. I don't swear, smoke or drink-oh shit, my cigarette just fell in my beer!

Stop following me, I DONT KNOW WHERE I'M GOING! (Sounds like something I would say in a dark alley with a mugger following me, just cuz I'm stupid like that. Whatever, I'd prolly be like "I don't have any money, dude, I'm a poor person! GO AWAYYYYY!" Then run into a wall…)

My day is not complete until I've terrified a complete stranger.

DONT interrupt me when I’m talking to myself. (I said that really loud on the bus on the way to some school field trip thing, and right as I said that it went all quiet, so everyone heard me, and my science teacher, Mrs. Whiteside, who has FOUR BUTTCHEEKS, I swear, was all "Shannon!" all shocked like, as if she didn't know I was insane all along...)

There are only three kinds of people in this world; those who can count, and those who can't. (I’M IN THE FIFTH GROUP!)

You all laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh because YOU'RE ALL THE SAME

It's only funny until someone gets hurt, then it’s HILARIOUS!

Heaven won’t take me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Stuff that confuses me:

George Bush (Can he understand himself when he talks? I sure can't)

Anything with an instructional book thicker than 5 pages

VCR clocks

Chipmunk haters

People with REALLY heavy southern accents

The fact that you aren't supposed to put a fork in the microwave, or heat your oven to 4000 degrees.

Michael Jackson (He's more like a girl than his sister! If he and Brittany Spears (Haha, same initials as bull shit…) got together (Ewww...) they could have little plastic kids!)

ABOUT SLASH! Sorry, but I don’t read or write slash. I have nothing against homosexuals, in fact, I have several gay friends and relatives (I think one of my cousins...) but it just doesn’t really interest me, just like some hetero-ships in fics don’t interest me.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Once Upon a Freakin' Time by Evadne reviews
The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 29,923 - Reviews: 2008 - Favs: 2,238 - Follows: 811 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2002 - Voldemort, Severus S.
Camp Lakeway by Munkymuppet reviews
When the Warden of Camp Lakeway unexpectedly dies of a heart attack the criminal girls are sent to their neighboring camp, Camp Green Lake. But not all of the girls are willing to cope with the boys and soon the members of D tent find themselves on an unf
Holes - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 58 - Words: 106,790 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/10/2006 - Published: 10/5/2003
The Gryffindor Oracle by Abigail-Nicole reviews
Ever wonder what happened in the days of your favorite Marauders? Well, you're in luck, because the authoress found a stack of old papers going through her attic one day, and incidentally they proved to be the front pages of...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 33 - Words: 36,692 - Reviews: 723 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 8/21/2005 - Published: 6/30/2003 - Sirius B., James P.
Heartbreak Home by Sede2113 reviews
COMPLETE Ginny has it all engaged, her own school for young magical children & completely content. But then Harry comes back into her life, after years of being away playing prof. Quidditch. Will romance spark again, despite all obstacles? RHr, will be H
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 154,572 - Reviews: 1626 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 7/13/2005 - Published: 4/20/2004 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The Above Ground Mystery by Bubbly Hooplah reviews
Not the best title... this was written for fun, and my friends liked it. When Arty and the Butlers find an LEP officer almost dead in the snow, what disasters can befall? R&R. First fic. Flames welcome!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,122 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/8/2005 - Published: 3/17/2004
Harry Potter 6 by DragonGrin - former TeenTypist reviews
In Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, Luna is a major character but I'm not sure if she's going to be a romance character for him or not (OotP Spoilers) Chapter 74! A plan in action. Long chapter.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 74 - Words: 158,910 - Reviews: 853 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 12/29/2004 - Published: 8/10/2003 - Harry P., Luna L.
Gulp! A School Story by coolcube reviews
Artemis changes schools to Ginger's junior high class. Which could be bad, very bad. Because there is something nobody knows about her, not even her best friends or the lunch lady. Why she asks to come in to school, has pointy ears, and can write in code.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,500 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/7/2004 - Published: 4/27/2004
Ladies Storm by Adele Starminster reviews
Camryn Cardia and Ana Holmes are at the same school as Artimis Fowl 2 weeks after EC. They have a special power that could have disatorous effects if left unchecked. Why? Fate's evil, I suppose
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,023 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 5/28/2004 - Published: 12/6/2003
Artemis Fowl Saves the WorldWell, Eventually! by coolcube reviews
The Lower Elements are in danger and the LEP need to ask for help. Unfortunately, Jennica, the newest (and most inexperienced) operative is the only one above ground. Yup, Haven is doomed. Chapter 8 up, Please review! (but read it first of course)
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,007 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/9/2004 - Published: 3/18/2004
I hope you danceI believe by Wolfrat reviews
My two favorite songs,
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,417 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 5/9/2004 - Published: 3/28/2004
What About Me by Sede2113 reviews
COMPLETE Ginny Weasley: the youngest and forgotten child. Not anymore, because this is about to change. Its time for Ginny to show her true colors and to prove to Harry that she's not just Ron's litte sister, in doing this she shocks the whole school
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 84,827 - Reviews: 1272 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 3/22/2004 - Published: 12/12/2003 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Artemis Fowl 4: I Will Never Use a Real Title by DragonGrin - former TeenTypist reviews
It's an Artemis romance yes, a challenge I know, but it's not all sappy. It starts a few months after my last one left off, RR! My fourth AF fic. No EC or OD spoilers. Complete.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 39,075 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/15/2004 - Published: 11/27/2003 - Artemis F. - Complete
Convert to Christianity by Aubyn Lin reviews
Harry Potter's a full-fledged Christian thanks to Fred and George's invention and a humiliatingly pathetic angelic vision. More humorous than it sounds! RR please!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/16/2003 - Harry P.
The Artemis Fowl Show SPECIAL EDITION! by Spectra16 reviews
Crazy. You aren't encouraged to read this . . . unless you hate Hillary Duff. I wrote this in a hurry to get something done. Flame me if you wish, but consider my Academy! I hate this story . . .
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,190 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/2/2003
Meeting His Match by PineAppleLint reviews
Terrence Gallagher is a well respected female captain who is found without ship or crew. What happens when she literally runs into Captain Jack Sparrow? Chapter 30: And So it Begins. FINISHED.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 94,726 - Reviews: 1528 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 11/2/2003 - Published: 7/26/2003 - Complete