HELLO all you peoples! It is I, the cheerleader, BeagleBLOOMerz!! (crickets: chirp chirp)*Clears throat* Aheem.BEAGLEBLOOMERZ!!!!! (crickets*chirp chirp* WELL, as you can see, I am a cheerleader who has stumbled upon this dorky website and likes to write stories!(Mary Sue: Dorky?!*pokes BB with pencil* TheVoices: Nerd?! *flicks BB's head* TN5: Waait. . .you're a cheerleader?! BB:-_-) Yes, these are the type of friends I have on . BUT Luckily, I do have some, err. . . more *lowers voice dramatically* SANE friends elsewhere! (Mary Sue: Heeey!! I heard that! *poke*)
But ANYWAYZ here's my, uh. . .stuff (ignore the lameness of that):
Hair:(sane people: brown. But do you REEALY think I'm going to listen to them???heh heh) *clears throat* *draws in breath dramatically* *examines left little toe* (ignore that last part): wavy brunette locks that gleam gold when kissed by the sun, framing the face gorgeousely, floating around the shoulders as if captured forever in a-MS: *poke* Riiight.
Eyes: Green. Mind you, not Harry Potter green, more like a hazel gree-MS*poke* teehee
Nose: According to SOME sources (*cough* Mary*cough* Sue *cough* *cough*) big. But it is more in the Roman style, and IT ISN'T AS BIG AS IT COULD BE!!
Friends on : Mary Sue of Maryville aka,midgetgrl(MS: DITZ!!), TypoNumber5 aka.veteran FFpersonperson/peanutbutter FREAK(TN5: *eyes glaze over* mmmmm. . .peanut butter. . .), The Voices(1) aka serial killer/beckhmboi luver *snickersnicker* she's going to kill me *snicker snicker* (*at gunpoint* -sweatdrop-didIsaybeckhmboiImentanimeorlegolasorsometingPLEASEDON"TKILLME!!)(after escaping TV1's CRAZED clutches)and finally, GiggleztheAtomicSoccerball7aka errrr. . person(Gigglez:Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming. . .Everyone within hearing range: GAAAAH!!!!!!!!)
Hobbies: ORLANDO BLOOM OBESSER!!!!, soccerplayer, LEGOLAS LOVER!!!, equistrian(teeheee big word), WILL TURNER-(psst!!!! TN5, what's a word for lover person that starts with W???TN5: mmmm. . .peanutbutter. . .BB:-_-) uhh. . .WANTER, cheerleader, PARIS PINER, artist, BLOOM BA- MS: *poke* Thank you. That is enough ranting on that subject.
AT MARYSUE"S HOUSE
BB: *inches toward Orli poster*
MS:BB, what are you doing??
BB: O_O hhhmmmmmm??? *trips over bed*
*END OF FLASHBACK*
Pets: Diana the Beagle, a very intelligent, adorable, lovable- what's this, ooooh. . .uhh, thank you for the sole to my *gulp* $55 shoe, Diana. . .MOOOMM!!! Nathan the ENORMOUS grey cat.
Vet: -sweatdrop- Ooooh. . .h-h-here's our very s-s-special patient *gulp* Nathan!! Let's get him in here before he-
Random dog in other room: WOOF WOOOWOOF WOOOOF!
Nathan: mmreoeoeowmmmrrrrrr. .
Nathan's inanimate pillowcase(ummm. . .yeah): RRRRRRRIIIIIIP!!!!!!!
Vet: NO NATHAN NO! GET BACK HERE AAAAAH!!
*END OF FLASHBACK*
And then there's China, my little Siamese. But when I say little, I don't mean HARMLESS!!!
Me: CHHIIIINA, DINNER! Come here China! *lays down by bed*
China: *crouching under bed* mrrrrrrrrrrr. . .
Me: Come on China, come here!
THE NEXT DAY:
Sky(sp?): *giggle* You look like Harry Potter with that scar!
BB: My cat.
BB: Hey, TV1.
TV1: He-WHOAH!! What happened?
BB: My cat.
MS: Mreeow! *reaches out hand like paw*
TV1's eeeeeevil brother: What happened to your face??
BB: MY FREAKIN CAT!!.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
Guy Life: SINGLE AND LOVES TO MINGLE!!(TV1: Oooooookay. . .*scooches away*) (Mary Sue: *Bounces up and down* Tell the STORY TELL THE STORY!!!!) Shut UP MS!! SHUT THE !@^# UP!!!! MS: Well you see, we were outside the French portable and- BB: I"LL tell it!
Yeah, we were outside the french portable and (MS: teeeheee!)AND this dude was doing some , errr STUFF with a pinecone (MS snicker snicker)HE DROPPED it. (MS: *giggle*)AND I kicked it. Let's just say I was wearing clogs. . . And my toesock was out in the air in 2 seconds. . . And my shoe was lying by the rail across from me in 4 seconds. . .And this cute guy who some of my friends like-(MS: You like him! BB: -_- no, I don't.)was sitting on the rail across from me. . .And his upper arm probably had a bruise by the end of the day. In other words myshoewentflyingthrough theairandhithimonthearm. (MS: BWWAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAABWWAAAAAHAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAABWAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAA-*CRASH!!!!!!*) *smoothes shirt down* *primps hair*examines left little toe. . .again* Sorry about that.
IN THE HALL
BB: *grinning* Guy, are you sure your OK?
Guy: It was a SHOE!!
*END OF FLASHBACK*
And then in dorky old anime club (MS:DORKY?????!!!!!!! All anime members: *FLICK* BB: SOORRRRRY!!! Owwwwww!!!!!!!!!! PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWWWWWWW!!!!!! )
TN5: *stacks 5 triscuts (sp?) on BB's lap*
BB: *doesn't notice*
BB: *crosses legs and knocks them ALL off*
BB: _STILL_ doesn't notice*
TN5: *stacks them all back an points out crackers to the most popular guy in the school (ie. shoe guy)*
Popular guy: *starts laughing*
kid: *notices* *starts laughing*
Mary Sue: WHAT is IT??!! ... oh.. OH! BWAHAHAH!!
TN5: *leans over and picks one off of BB leg and eats it*
BB: *knocks all of the crackers off except for one*
entire anime club: *bursts out laughing*
BB: *stares at the cracker that's still on her knee* OH MY GOD Y'ALL ARE SO MEAN! *doesn't notice the 3 other crackers on the floor... *
*END OF FLASHBACK*
Here's a typical day in BeagleBLOOMerz's Life:
Intercom Voice: MwaahMwaaahMwaaaahWrestling Cheerleaders please report to Mrs *'s room after announcements. Mwahmwaaaahmwaah. . .
In Mrs *'s room:
Mrs :Girls, I just wanted to tell you that you guys are so cute and everyone loves you and to keep up the good work!!^_^
Back in 1st period:
Demonic lump teacher: BB, why are you coming in late?
BB: Uuuuh, I just went to Mrs *'s room like they announced.
Lump teacher: I didn't hear that. did anyone hear them ask for BB over the intercom?
Girl in class: They asked for the wrestling cheerleaders.
Lump teacher: Oh. Well I still don't like you, BB.
Note: Uhhh, that might be exaggerated, but SHE WUZ THINKIN IT!
BB: *Runs up to LOCKED door 2 seconds after bell rings* *Knocks on door*
Teacher's pet kid: *opens door* you have to stay out here, you were late.
Inanimate door: *SLAM*
Intercom Voice: Teachers, this is a security drill. Please clear the halls and Mwah mwaah mwah. . .
BB: *Frantically pounds on door*
Eeevil science teacher: *Shrugs shoulders and raises penciled eyebrows.*
BB: *Has to go to other classroom for the rest of the class.*
Remarkably dramatic-slothlike teacher:Aaaalllriiiight. Does eeeeeeeverrrryoone haaave theeiiir hoooomework today?
RDSLT: BeagleBLOOMerz! You're our resident cheerleader, why don't yooou lead us in our Algebra cheeeer??
BB: Errr. . .ok. *walks to front of class* *begins teacher's sinisterly twisted form of singing* Positive Negative! Zero! Undefined! Ysub2 -Ysub1=Xsub2-Xsub1! Uuummm. . .I don't remember the rest.
RDSLT: Oooooh. Well then, why don't weee have MaaarySuue do the cheer?
Ms: OK!!*Performs cheer perfectly and beams*
4th period, P.E.
Coach: Yakkityyakyakyak! Yak! Yak yak yak! Yak soccer yak!
TV1: Oh God! I hate soccer!
BB: You HATE SOCCER?? *eyes sparkle endearingly* I LOVE soccer!!^_^
Coach: Yakkity yakyakkity! BB, take a soccer ball over there! Yak!
IN SOCCER LINES:
TV1: Watch me fall flat on my face!
Coach: TheVoices, you will help our special needs students.
TV1: Ummm. . .ok.
BB: Well, this is just great for you, TV1!
Coach: Yakkityyakyakyakyakkityyak! *blows whistle*
TV1: *kicks soccerball*Falls flat on face* Aww, shiz!
BB:^_^ Poor TV1!
Coach: Now all of you watch BeagleBLOOMerz! She knows what she's doing!
BB(the cafeteria outlaw criminal person person): Hey Mr *! I'm sitting in the right seat!
Eeeeeevil lunch guy: I don't think you are! What row is this?
BB: Mrs *'s.
Eeeeevil lunch guy: *consults chart* and you're in * ?
Eeevil lunch guy: Well, you know, if you didn't always sit in the wrong seat, then ladeeda deeda laladee la ladeeda ladee. . .*turns around*
BB* throws death glare at him*
Eeevil lunch guy: I saw that look young lady. You see deedala ladee deedada ladadeeda dadee ladee. . . and I'll always be watching you! *turns around*
BB: *throws even deathier death glare at him*
Principal ratface: You! Green shirt!
BB: Wha. . me??
Principal: Do you know what you look like in that shirt?
BB: uuum. . .
Principal: a #$@, that's what! Do you know how much of your stomach was showing?
BB: Uuum. . .
Principal: Yappity, that's how much!
Principal: That is NOT what we where to school, and yappity yap yap yap! Yappity yap yappity. yapp yap yap. . .now go to guidance and they'll get you a decent shirt!
Note: By decent I think she meant grey, holy, dirty, and ginormous.
Madame : Bonjour tumonde!
Class: Bonjour madame.
Madame: Ca va?
Class: Oui, ca va, et vous?
Madame: Oui. Today we will be reviewing prepositions.
BB: Woohoo!!^_^ Frog on a log!
Gigglez: you should name your frog.
BB: Yeeah. . .
Schuy: Name him Orlando!
BB: *swoon* ^_^
Cool but slightly monotonous Teacher: Hey ya'll, today we'll talk about the queens and kings of England. *Cracks joke* yak yak *Cracks joke* yak yak *Cracks joke* yak yak *Cracks joke* yak yak *Cracks joke* yak yak *Cracks joke* yak yak *Cracks joke* yak yak. . .
Idiot dude: I bet BB would *horribly perverted comment* with me!
BB: :( You know what, idiot dude, you are a self obsessed conceited jerk! AND you are a pervert!So SHUT THE @#$$ UP!
Idiot dude: *chuckles stupidly* Yep, you got me perfectly!
At home on the phone:
MS: Hi, BB??
BB: Yeeeup. heeey. . .What's the answers to numbers 313398574231237466970-98969760 and 12?
MS: bien, 79, 42 grams, 1867, because they wore painting smocks, George Arthur Kingsley, the Cold war, 25x67, endangered, 33 liters, devide the numerator by the denomenator, and green bean cassserole.
BB: Wait. . .greeen. . .beeaan. . .casseerrrrooolle. . .ok, got it! Thanks!
MS: Yeah, so I was wondering about the answers to numbers 283763474389561238612748923589 674264886 and 33??
BB: errr. . .566 men, 30 liters, the revoltion resulted in war, blood red, I have no clue, 566, and toe socks.
MS: Toooeee. . .sooooccks. . .got it!!!!
And that's about it.
"Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them" -mug
"I'm just your average everyday sane/psycho supergoddess"-Liz Phair
"The situation in Russia is terrible. And it would sadden my heart. Except we don't live there."-teacher
"I'm not perfect. But I'm so close, it scares me!"-shirt
"Crackerstackers!!"-*name taken out to protect the not-so-innocent*
"What happened to your face??"-TheVoices's EEEEEVIL brother
It's not pollution that's causing global warming, it's our unclean air and water supply.-George Bush
Have I ever told you about sea louses?-TypoNumber5
Cause you're just like, HEEHEEHEE, and he's just like, HOHOHO.-TN5. . .again.
So I unconspicuously sneaked out of the lunchroom-TheVoices EEEEEVIL brother once again
I need new friends.-MarySue
-MORE QUOTES TO COME-
~UPDATES AND STUFF~
Right, so I deleted the sappy Riverside story. It was sort of an experiment, as in seeing as there's all this REALLY lame stuff out on that get reviews like, and I am probably quoting here, "Oh my God that is SO WONDERFUL. I can't wait to see if he choses Scarlette or Anastasia!! PLeASE UPDATE! My life DEPENDS on your updates!" But, strangly enough, my story didn't get any reviews. Ah, well, another day in the life of BeagleBLOOMerz! I'm sticking to random thoughts that pop into my head while I clip my toenails now. *Chorus of THANK THE LORD!!s rings out, accompanied by equally loud chorus of TOENAILS???*