GoatEatingToilet
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Joined 12-16-13, id: 5391646, Profile Updated: 10-09-18
Author has written 5 stories for Freaks and Geeks, Path of Exile, Re-Animator, and Red Dead Redemption.

While I respect the skill it takes to create an enjoyable and complete story in under 1,000 words (generally), it is not the type of writing I practice myself. One-shots are largely beyond my capabilities.

While I try to make sure my stories are error-free, I am not nearly as meticulous when I leave reviews (sloppy, I know), so I apologize in advance if I leave you one and point out spelling errors while leaving a ton of them in my analysis. It does happen when I write a new chapter as well, but for some reason I read over those like ten-thousand times before I post them... unlike a review... which I usually just type out and hit "post"

If we could edit them, that would make things so much easier :P

A few notes about my style of writing before you get too interested (yeah, right :P):

-I write long stories. I have a 100K story on here and a lot of stuff I don't have on here is between 60-100K from start to finish. Diving into every aspect of a story is exciting to me.

-I tend to write long chapters. Generally between 2,500-3,500 words a pop. I tried to stick with 1,000-ish word chapters for Puppet Master for a while... that didn't last long.

-A majority of my tales will have heavy parts of dialogue. I love creating a juicy conversation between two characters, whether it be sexual or just interesting in other ways.

-I have my weak spots in writing. Namely overwriting and a lack of descriptive detail for characters/places.

What do I do outside of writing?

I work my ass off, haha. Between two jobs, I work every day of the week. No, literally. Go to college, kids. Trust me.

What do I like to do outside of writing?

A myriad of things. Mostly sleep, though. I do like reading (like, tenfold now that I have found this site), playing video games, getting caught up in too many TV shows, listening to and attempting to extend various music tracks and, uh... stuff?

If you walk in a particular direction long enough, eventually you’ll gain followers. But until then, you’re just an outsider with some odd ideas... and that can be lonely. - Rainer Maria Rilke

(I use the above quote because I feel it applies to many fanfic authors. Sometimes our stories can be odd and go against the grain, but if we stick with them long enough, we will find a group of readers who enjoy it. Until then though, the idea is to persevere in the face of failure.)

Story Status Updates (10/09/2018):

General note: Things hardly ever seem to go to plan when I attempt to give myself a deadline.

Deviating from the Norm (Freaks and Geeks): Status: Complete (and revised)! The story I had small ambitions for (that eventually grew into a mountain of words) has finally come to an end. There are ideas for a sequel rolling around in my head, but I have other work that needs my attention first.

Puppet Master (Path of Exile): Status: On hold :( No updates in a while. I haven't given up on this fic. It's just sorta in the background at the moment.

Worlds Apart (Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare/Re-Animator/The Return of the Living Dead crossover): Status: Chapter 19 is up and, now that I have completed my secret project, I will resume work on chapter 20! There have been delays here and there, but I am continually working on this tale. Promise.

Beers, Weirs and Souvenirs (Freaks and Geeks): Status: Complete! New year, new project! This is a companion piece I am working on alongside wolfgirl2001 and her story (Beers, Weirs and Brassieres). We are going to attempt releasing updates for our respective sides of the same coin in tandem, so I can't give any exact timelines.

The Face of a Monster: Status: Complete! This was a secret one-shot/short story that I had worked on for about a month. It all started when I re-watched The Strangers (in anticipation of the sequel) and realized that Dollface's jacket vaguely resembled Lindsay's. The ideas just flowed after that point. This is, by far, my darkest work to date (which is a dream for me, considering my whole reason for aspiring to become an author as a child was to write horror books).

Planned Work(s): A Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 fic that brings two new characters to the story and follows along from the movie's beginning to end with a lot of interesting things added. Not a lot to go on, I know, but give me a bit to work on a description.

Another Freaks and Geeks tale,another horror-themed installment. That's a combo you rarely hear of. Honestly, I have only ever read one horror-like F&G tale, and that was Such a Nice Little Town by writerbot5000 (which was sadly abandoned less than a month after it was started), and it had a real Invasion of the Body Snatchers feel to it. I won't be going that route. Instead, I will travel down a much more cliché road... zombies. For now, that's all you get for that one.

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House of Re-Animator by AlecGman reviews
Herbert West is finally free from his prison. However, he has unfinished buisness with his former colleague: Dr. Dan Cain.
Re-Animator - Rated: M - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,444 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/25/2019 - Published: 3/4/2018 - Herbert W., Dan C.
Herbert West Fights Plagiarism by the-wondrous-mango
Gifted with the power to teleport, but cursed so that he can only use the power to hunt plagiarists, how will Herbert West and friends destroy Dr. Hill once and for all to rid him of the curse?
Crossover - Evil Dead/Army of Darkness & Re-Animator - Rated: T - English - Horror/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 781 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/8/2019 - Herbert W.
We Used To Wait by Farewellxo reviews
Life is never what we expect it to be. Jackie and her husband face marital problems, Lindsay deals with the death of a loved one, and their kids endure their first heartbreak. How do they all tie in together?
Crossover - That '70s Show & Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,792 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/5/2019 - Published: 12/16/2017 - Donna P., Jackie B., Lindsay W., Daniel D.
The Walking by Ellathegreat reviews
Ivy and her group are found in the apocalypse. What will they need to do to survive? In this rollercoaster of a story, only the idea of Fear The Walking Dead is used, no characters, wouldn't want to ruin anything for you! I don't know how those characters would act in certain situations. Enjoy!
Fear the Walking Dead - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,043 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/22/2017 - Published: 11/23/2015
Choice of Evils by Mad Scientist Sidekick reviews
The last sacrifice succeeded at the very last minute, and the world went on spinning. The Company is looking for less risky alternatives, but will that mean for the rest of still unaware humanity? And will they be exposed before then? Leaving survivors may not have been the smartest plan. Crossover also includes: Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the Thirteenth, and others
Crossover - Re-Animator & Cabin in the Woods - Rated: M - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,244 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/13/2017 - Published: 9/30/2015 - Herbert W.
Freak by Asfaloth-Sekhmet reviews
Katherine Jane Welsh prefers to have a cigarette in the morning instead of toast, booze instead of water, and drugs instead of homework. She would also prefer to have an alarm clock wake her up instead of her drunken parents. But we can't always get what we want, can we? Reconstructed - old fic! It's shabby, but worth a read.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 150,093 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/4/2017 - Published: 4/30/2014 - Lindsay W., Kim K., Daniel D., OC - Complete
Freaks: Season 2 by AutumnRain171 reviews
The story picks up where Season 1 left off. Might be a bit slow in the plot development in the beginning but should pick up in later chapters. Also will be rated M later on for Nick/Lindsay content. If anyone is interested in volunteering their time to Beta it, any feedback is appreciated.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,354 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/16/2017 - Published: 12/14/2016 - Lindsay W., Kim K., Daniel D., Nick A.
This Isn't What It Looks Like by LittleCajunLady88 reviews
Kim is bored and looking for a cute boy to spend some time with when she runs into Sam, and he's changed a lot over the summer.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 901 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/7/2017 - Sam W., Kim K. - Complete
Stop And Feel The Rain by LittleCajunLady88 reviews
Lindsay has a minor freak out after she and Kim leave home to follow the Grateful Dead for the summer.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 416 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/7/2017 - Lindsay W., Kim K. - Complete
The Crystal Gems vs The Fearsome Four by Doctor John Smith reviews
The Crystal Gems are looking for the demonic Puzzle Box, but when they find it, they must take on another team known as The Fearsome Four. Will the teams kill each other or team up to stop Pinhead and the Cenobites?
Steven Universe - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 18,362 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/12/2016 - Published: 7/28/2015 - Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Steven U.
Haunting Sins by Sc0rpi0-Karma reviews
People make hard choices that others might not understand, Lindsay has to live with hers and the secret that goes along with it.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,595 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/31/2016 - Lindsay W. - Complete
Red Dead Something by Grandpa's boy reviews
Instead of the brave john Marston we've come to love in this retelling of the west, we follow a new hero. One that doesn't have his head in the right place.
Red Dead Redemption - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,354 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/5/2016 - Published: 5/25/2016 - Jo. Marston, OC
…and Brassieres by wolfgirl2001 reviews
Alternate, more Daniel-icious ending to "Beers and Weirs". Companion piece to GoatEatingToilet's "…and Souvenirs".
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,035 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/2/2016 - Published: 1/3/2016 - Lindsay W., Daniel D. - Complete
Fearsome Four by Doctor John Smith reviews
The TallMan (Phantasm) discovers that the Candyman is using the Necronomicon to take over the world, so he goes to gather three of the toughest killers he can, but when they were unavailable he settled for Kayako (The Grudge) Dr. Herbert West (Re-Animator) and Ash Williams (Evil Dead) will this Fearsome Four stop the Candyman and save the world?
Crossover - Evil Dead/Army of Darkness & Re-Animator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,274 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/6/2016 - Published: 3/30/2014
Such a Nice Little Town by writerbot5000 reviews
Something odd is going on at McKinley High. One by one students are undergoing drastic and inexplicable personality changes. Will Lindsay and Kim be able to uncover the truth? Or are they doomed to fall victim to the mysterious force?
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,710 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/25/2016 - Published: 3/3/2016 - [Kim K., Lindsay W.]
The Maze Runner: The Manifestation Chronicles by Asfaloth-Sekhmet reviews
Inka is thrust into the Glade with little to no memory, a marred face and a thirst for escape. The Gladers are hesitant to welcome her and her difficult attitude that constantly pushes, but she may be part of the push they need to save themselves. Newt/OC. Rated M for mature themes.
Maze Runner Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 149,690 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 2/23/2016 - Published: 12/22/2015 - [Newt, OC] Thomas, Minho
Schweiber party '86 by wolfgirl2001 reviews
Lindsay, now a senior in college and fresh off a breakup, finds herself back at a Schweiber party.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,894 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/7/2015 - Published: 9/7/2015 - Lindsay W. - Complete
Breathe by Asfaloth-Sekhmet reviews
Eleanor has a gift that everyone needs, but ironically enough she can't even use it for herself. She knows that Sky High might be able to help her, but she isn't expecting a certain hothead to be. Trigger Warning - Abuse. Warren/OC
Sky High - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 65,670 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 9/28/2015 - Published: 8/30/2015 - Warren P., OC - Complete
Busted and Lusted by wolfgirl2001 reviews
Too bad Lindsay's grounded. Nick and Sara broke up, Barry's unexpectedly home for the summer, and even Daniel's showing interest. How will Lindsay juggle her suitors when she's not even supposed to leave the house?
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 62,951 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 8/27/2015 - Published: 2/22/2015 - Lindsay W., Nick A., Daniel D., OC - Complete
Threesome by That Girl55 reviews
Lindsay was the white flag in a game of tug of war between Daniel and Kim. Despite the title, there's no actual threesome, just one heavy metaphor. KimXDaniel eventual LindsayXDaniel, oneshot.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,109 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12/2015 - Lindsay W., Kim K., Daniel D. - Complete
A Fugitive in Suburbia by DanCains reviews
(post 'Beyond Re-Animator') Dan never expected to see Herbert again after the latter was sentenced to life in prison for his gruesome scientific meddling, but two things seem to be constant in Dan Cain's life: his insurmountable bad luck, and his bad habit of taking in strays. (slight implied Dan/Herbert)
Re-Animator - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/19/2014 - Herbert W., Dan C., OC - Complete
Junkie - Season One by Asfaloth-Sekhmet reviews
Charlie Macey has never minded a little danger. Beginning of a series of stories following Breaking Bad Seasons 1-5 with my OC tossed into the mix. Under reconstruction!
Breaking Bad - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,640 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/23/2014 - Published: 9/19/2014 - Jesse P., OC - Complete
Remote Control: Episode 1 by MysticHysteria reviews
14-year-old girl who got the power to travel into the world of TV and movies. Rated T for language, sexual(ish) stuff, and drug use. Please read! Thank you! Title used to be "The Migraine" I pretty much gave up on this story, but if you wanna read it go ahead!
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,583 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/10/2014 - Published: 7/14/2013 - Neal S., OC - Complete
Lines of Symmetry by CitronPresse reviews
An attempt at communication and understanding, in a dark, damp yard, outside a party. (Set post episode 1.6, in the context of episode 1.5.). Characters: Lindsay Weir, Daniel Desario. Warning: casual drug use.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/3/2014 - Lindsay W., Daniel D. - Complete
The Queen of Death by Pikdude reviews
Washed up on the shores of Wraeclast, a young witch must find help in unlikely places to realize her destiny- as the Queen of Death. Rated T for violence and a dark element.
Path of Exile - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,047 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/28/2014 - Published: 12/5/2013 - Witch
How the Man Designed Me by H.Chris.H reviews
Fleeing the wrath of Woodbury, the Dixon brothers discover an even greater danger is on the way. Finding a place to belong and learning new reasons to fight and live for, maybe die for. Can they warn the others in time? Daryl/OC Romance. M for language, C'mon it's Merle.
Walking Dead - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 44 - Words: 145,283 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 4/13/2014 - Published: 12/11/2012 - [Daryl D., OC] [Merle D., Michonne]
High Roller by twotonguesincheek reviews
Kim knew her life wasn't much, but that didn't mean it couldn't be something. They called her crazy. Well, crazy's better than nothing. [senior year, Kim's pov]
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,377 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/8/2014 - Published: 3/30/2014
Ten Year Reunion by shortie990 reviews
It's the year 1992, ten years later since they had graduated. How have all the Freaks lives changed since high school? This is a Nick and Lindsay shipping but will also include Daniel and Kim and Ken and Amy.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,140 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/11/2014 - Published: 2/5/2013
Picture Day by Entire Oranges reviews
It's picture day! What can go wrong?
Red Dwarf - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 415 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/11/2013 - Cat, Lister, D., Rimmer, A. - Complete
If You Love Someone by DoofusPrime reviews
Back from her trip with Kim, Lindsay has to deal with confusing treatment by her father and the hint of lingering feelings from Nick. Daniel has his own problems when his D&D sessions with Sam, Neal, and Bill encourage them to invite him to a convention.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,393 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/30/2012 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Complete
Freaks and Geeks and Vampires by trinfaneb reviews
As if high school wasn’t bad enough already, Lindsay Weir becomes the Chosen and has to deal with the gravest threat a preBuffy Slayer can face. A Buffy and Freaks and Geeks crossover with guest appearances from Spike and Dru and other Sunnydalians.
Buffy X-overs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 20,738 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 1/8/2008 - Published: 7/14/2004 - Complete
Renewal by Kittenmommy reviews
A perplexed DMV employee helps Gabriel renew his driver's license.
The Prophecy - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/26/2005 - Gabriel - Complete
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The Face of a Monster
Kim Kelly woke up in daze, unaware of where she was and inexplicably finding herself bound to a chair. When confronted by a stranger who taunts her with a blood-covered knife, tales of grisly murders and a past Kim can't recall, things become far more sinister. (originally uploaded in March as a crossover with The Strangers, I have since decided to move it here. Happy Halloween!)
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,529 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/9/2018 - [Daniel D., Lindsay W.] Kim K. - Complete
Worlds Apart reviews
Three men connected by ancient relics. Three men who are not only all from different worlds, different versions of 'Earth', but who are all also worlds apart as far as personalities go. Bound by fate, the trio must learn how to trust and rely on one another as they find themselves continually thrust into new dimensions that are under some sort of threat by the undead. gore/violence
Crossover - Re-Animator & Red Dead Redemption - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 20 - Words: 88,654 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/22/2018 - Published: 11/18/2014 - Herbert W., Jo. Marston
Deviating from the Norm reviews
If you asked me a few months ago, I would have told you I'd never be caught dead hanging out with the freaks. Life's full of complications and lots of things can change in a couple of months, though… lots of things. Still, falling for one? No one could have predicted that. (OC POV. Follows show ep by ep, but starts before episode 1. AU. Slow burn). Revised on 1/30/2017.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 163,209 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/30/2017 - Published: 5/6/2014 - Lindsay W., Kim K., Daniel D., OC - Complete
…and Souvenirs reviews
A companion piece to wolfgirl2001's "...and Brassieres". This fic is centered around Kim Kelly and how she deals with the changes wolfgirl2001's tale will bring.
Freaks and Geeks - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,697 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/11/2016 - Published: 1/13/2016 - Kim K. - Complete
Puppet Master reviews
Ellianna Audron never had an easy life (witches rarely did) and when the villagers burned down her home it only got worse. She took her revenge, but at the ultimate cost of her powers and freedom. Now an exile in the cursed land of Wraeclast, can she find a way to survive? To endure? To rise to dominance? (Rated T for violence and gore. AU because of non-canon lore)
Path of Exile - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,727 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/18/2015 - Published: 6/17/2014 - Witch