The Critic's Realm
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Joined 01-18-14, id: 5464279, Profile Updated: 04-13-15
Author has written 17 stories for Rise of the Guardians, Pokémon, Slender, Danny Phantom, Young Justice, Harry Potter, and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

Normal girls puke at the sight of blood, we thrive on it
Normal girls say 'Can i have your lipgloss', we say 'Can i have your kidney'
Normal girls wear crop tops, we wear hoodies
Normal girls listen to Justin Bieber, we listen to iNSaNiTY
Normal girls say 'You inspire my inner pop star', we say 'You inspire my inner serial killer'
Normal girls want pink hair, we want black hair
Normal girls play 'Just Dance', we play 'Majora's Mask'
Normal girls put on lipstick for a beautiful smile, we carve one
Normal girls wear makeup, we wear masks
Normal girls think Smile dog is scary, we think he is cute
If you are a Creepypasta fan, or are one, Spread The Word

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswiter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, KHFREAK14, Ghostdragon02, Miwokgirl101,max saturday, sephira arks, Golden Feather Ink

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you are one of those people who thinks people should not have to worry about your looks, copy this to your profile.

If you read books until 3 am, copy this to your profile.

If you like to to be random & say weird things then copy this in your profile.

If you want to throw a pie or something heavy at a popular girl who wears too short shorts and tight shirts(that would be freakin' awesome and funny) add your name to the list. Miwokgirl101 max Saturday, Golden Feather Ink

if you don't like Justin Bieber, add your name to this list and cut and paste this into your profile: miwokgirl101, max Saturday, Golden Feather Ink

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, PhantomGirl12, EvulKat,max Saturday, Golden Feather Ink

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

How to know that you're Crazy:

Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't Spanish and you just do that to annoy him Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize


Crazy is when you're going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is the last day of school and you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the movie. Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world. Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane. Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the's pretty." Crazy is when you are asked to get someone's phone from the other room, and you go and grab it epically, then crack up and spit out your Oreos halfway through. Crazy is when you go in your backyard and have conversations with yourself and non-existant people while gesturing wildly. Crazy is when you go outside and show off your Just Dance 2 moves in the rain. While singing along. Crazy is when you watch Lord of the Rings with your family, and at the end, when they discuss it like nerds, you nod like you get it and when they finish talking, you look at something random and say, "Oh, shiny!...wait...what were we talking about again?" Crazy is AWESOME!!! Crazy is when you is on Skype, and your friend randomly says, "Well, that guy's headed for certain death," and you laugh. Crazy is saying, "There's a car in a river, and people in the car. How is that a fail? That's a win!!!" Crazy is when you read crack pairing fics and make your own when you're bored. Crazy is when you have memorized all the words to llamas with hats and repeat them to random people, just so you can creep them out. Crazy is when you randomly say 'moo' or 'cheese'. Crazy am when you don't not got no good grammars. Crazy is when you receive daily threats to get put in an asylum. Crazy is when you make a list of where you put everything so as not to lose it, and you lose the list. Crazy is when you can voluntarily make your eye twitch, and it looks realistic, too! Crazy is when you ferociously growl like a mad wolf when your friends annoy you. Crazy is when you put it on your To-Do list to memorize the universe's top ten most annoying songs Crazy is when you are in a quiet classroom, you fall out of your chair backwards, and start laughing insanely while everyone stares at you. Crazy is when you constantly shout out non-sequitors. TORTELLINI!!!!!!! Crazy is when you like eating paper. Crazy is when you bend your computer or DS screen and threaten it when it's being slow or you lose a game. Crazy is when you say something that makes no sense to anyone but you and doesn't actually relate to anything, but you crack up, and when everyone stars giving you "looks", you cover up by saying it's an "inside joke." Crazy is when you are PROUD of the fact that you can bash your head against a Wall for five straight minutes and not feel a thing. Crazy is when your stuff keeps falling out of your locker, and you randomly snap and start punching and kicking it and screaming, "HOW DO YA' LIKE ME NOW?!?!? HUH?!? YOU WANT SOME A' DIS?!? HUH? HUH?!?" and not even noticing that everyone is stopping and staring at you. Crazy is when you burn your tongue on a hot liquid or something like that, shriek, spaz out, wonder how long it will take for your taste buds to grow back, then continue drinking the scalding liquid like nothing happened. Crazy is when you have a staring contest with yourself. Crazy is when you've unintentionally done half, or more, of the things on this list. Crazy is when you meow according to how you're feeling. (Happy meow when you're happy. Angry meow when you're angry.) Crazy is when you put an entry in this list, then go back and re-paste it onto your profile months later. Crazy is when you walk into a wall, and then say, "Excuse me ma'am" until someone points out that the wall isn't going to move out of your way. Crazy is when you yell PIE randomly Crazy is when you imagine your favourite character and you start a fight with him/her Crazy is when you're actually taking the time to read this list. Crazy is when you're constantly berated by the voice in your head and you don't realize that it's your own thoughts Crazy is when you yell "Cheeseburger" whenever you see a dog

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

All the underlined stuff is crazy things I've done! :3

A child's note:

Daddy, I did as you said. I didn't drink at the party like you told me to, but the others didn't have daddys like you. They drank and drank and drank and they offered me some but I refused. I didn't want to make you sad, Daddy. I listened to you even if my friends said it tasted good, I listened to you. I just danced and talked and nothing more, but the others did something you said not to do. You see, they didn't have daddys like you. So when I was walking home, I had listened to you. I was a good girl Daddy, but my friend wasn't. She drank, Daddy, and then drove her car. It isn't fair that I got hit by her car when I did nothing wrong. I listened to you Daddy, but I'm here on the ground. Dying, not being able to make a sound. Daddy, I listened to you, but my friend didn't. Now, my breath is growing short, and I need to tell that it wasn't fair that I died when I did nothing wrong. I'm sorry I made you sad when I followed your instructions. I'm sorry that I didn't tell my friends to stop drinking. Bye, Daddy, I just wanted to make you happy...I love you...

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Torchwood, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, EriinR, Storms-Are-My-Nature, HaruhixHikaru, McFlyFan101, ronandhermioneareforever, SubspaceDreamer14, Smallvillephantom14, Golden Feather Ink

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree

Take 3 minutes and try will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...


Did ya know that your room reflects your personality?

Did ya know that you imitate like your fav animal?

Did ya know that America's not truly a free country anymore?

Did ya know that the Government always watches you?

Did ya know that people aren't cutting down trees from food or the population, but from greed?

Did ya know that America can support 1/3 of the world's population of humans if it wanted to?

Did ya know that "swag" means gay?

Did ya know that a Pincher's brain grows larger than it's skull?

Did ya know that the people who stand out are more likely to succeed in life than people who fit in?

Did ya know that watching TV kills brain cells?

Did ya know that you can bite off your finger with as much force needed to bite a carrot?

Did ya know that when a person yawns, normal people yawn back(Insane people don't)?

Did ya know that aspartame and high fructose corn syrup are fancy words for refined sugar?

Did ya know that refined sugar can kill you?

Did ya know that you can eat the honey in the honeysuckle plant?

Did ya know that reading and listening to music can increase imagination?

Did ya know that women are smarter than men until they become equals in knowledge when they grow up?

Did ya know that people who daydream are more aware of the world around them than people who only dream at night?

Did ya know that cats think their owners are bigger cats?

Did ya know that being insane is healthier than being sane?

Did ya know that bats are the only mammals that can fly?

Did ya know that if you don't eat while you get sick with the stomach flu, in 24 hours, the virus would be gone?

Did ya know that Aquarius are loyal, friendly, and independent?

Did ya know that Piscies are imaginative, goofy, and have excellent memory?

Did ya know that you use only 10% of your brain power when thinking?

Did ya know that in some states, it's illegal to eat an orange in a bathtub?

Did ya know that it's illegal to bring a lion in a theater in Maryland?

6 Truths in your life:

1. You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue

2. Now you're trying this because you're an idiot

3. The first truth is a lie

4. Now you're smiling because you're an idiot

5. You wanna send it to other idiots

6. Then you're thinking: 'No, I'll put it on my profile'

Did you know that . . . Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It's good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now, make a wish. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and your wish will be granted.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

Yeah, I'm a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

"To learn is to not breathe; you have to learn to remember how to move your muscles."

"Success for Women comes only when they have no kids; success for Men comes when they find a Woman willing to go through labor."

"Boys are like puppies; they bark and howl at each other in an insane manner that confuses other people."

"Girls are like kittens; they keep meowing about other people that makes people wonder 'If I give them tuna, will they shut up?'"

"Men are like dogs; some are trained to maintain themselves while others aren't."

"Women are like cats; they will act nice if complemented but lash out when provoked."

"Never get angry at your reflection; it will break if you hurt it."

"On the reverse side of a mirror, there is a different world. One that is completely different from ours. The people there wonder why there world is so dark and scary so they look at themselves to make sure that shadows hadn't broken them. That is why you see 'your reflection.'"

"A little boy and girl find bread crumbs in the middle of the forest and start to eat them. They find out that there was a trail of them. Traveling down the road, they find a gingerbread house. Inside, the duo see a little boy and girl being dumped into a pot to die. They were Hansel and Gretel. The other duo rush in and push the murderer in the pot with the dead children. They find a map on the floor that tells them the dead children's house. When they went there, they were swarmed with hugs and kisses from the father of the dead ones. Seeing him so happy, the duo never told the man his real children were dead. This was a dark twist from the Folklore 'Hansel and Gretel.'"

"I had to dream to be alive; I had to have hope to go through the horrors of the world; I had to have memories to grow up; I had to have bravery to learn something new; I had to have anger to stop myself from agreeing with the devil; I had to have sorrow to know what happiness is; I had to be naïve to be a child; And I had to be alive to know the meaning of life and death."

"I wanted an orange from the very top of a tree. Others had wanted that very same fruit and tried many ways to get it; climbing, sky-diving, tree limb-cutting, and even explosives. Each and every one failed but me. Who knew praying could stop my hunger?"

"Uncomfortable silence can be so loud, Even when there isn't a single being to make a sound."

"I'm that girl...who is at the back of the classroom. I'm the one who looks up to myself when no one even glances at me. I'm the one who will read while the rest chat on their phones. I'm the one who dreams of making the world a better place while the rest are focused on greed. I'm the one who won't go to the Prom unless my friends are there. I'm the one who dreams of happy life and future. I'm the one who keeps on going no matter what insult is said to me. I'm the one who doesn't want to fit in and is tormented about it. I'm the one who almost lost someone dear to me but kept putting everyone's happiness above mine. I'm the one who tries to act insane to live life to the fullest. I'm the girl who wears a scarf in the middle of Summer because it reminds me of my dead Grandpa. I'm the one who would suffer to stop a heart from breaking. I'm the one who wishes on the stars when no one believes in them anymore. I'm the one who wishes to stop people from lying to the people and children of the world. I'm the one who will stand up for the good when no one else does. I'm the girl who tries to live life to the fullest..."If you are this type of girl/guy, post this on your profile and add your name to this list: Golden Feather Ink

Eight Reasons to Join the Dark Side:

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. You get a sweet, dark cape that covers your whole body!

3. You get a really cool, crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MUHAHAHAHAHA

4. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

5. We get to wear black. Everything looks better and more form-fitting when it's black.

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7 Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?


Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine? Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living? Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you. Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Girl: Really? 'Cause I'd put i at the beginning and u at the end.

Guy:Your eyes they're amazing. Girl: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Girl: It's in the phone book

Guy: I know how to please a woman Girl: Then please leave me alone

Guy: I can tell you want me Girl: Ohhhh, you're so right, I want you to leave

Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again Girl: No, but time just be sure to keep walking

Guy: I want to give myself to you Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else

(if ur a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile) That is how to treat boys. ESPECIALLY when they don't respect you

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of tomato juice on the ground, leading to the girls restrooms

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, I think we've got a Code 3 in House wares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a Valet Parking" sign in front of the store

42. Two words: Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

44. Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" with various funnels.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying how could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying Good girl, good Bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 56. hide in clothing racks and when someone look in pop out and say do you mind 57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch" from the other aisles. 58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." 59. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 65. Say things like, Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., Do you have any Shnerples here?" 67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive." 68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they don't realize it. 70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign. 71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag 72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window the British are coming" 73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes 74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane 76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle) 77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying I'm gonna save us from that bomb!" 78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight 79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over. 80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap. 81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section 82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. 83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner. 84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (don’t try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens. 85. If people aren’t looking at their cart, steal it. 86. Go to the gun section, saying Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smiley face!" 87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund. 88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught 89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms. 90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me." 91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbor’s name. 92. Rearrange items as you see fit. 93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere. 94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs 97. Grab stickers that say radioactive" and put them randomly on food items. 98. Follow someone until they notice 99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7up commercial 100. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here. 102. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors. 103. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys). 104. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice. 105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customer’s items. If the cashier protests, kill them. 106. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene. 107. Climb things. 108. walk around wearing the cloths from the store 109. Look at customers and look away when they look back (repeat) 110. Make Loud noises in the bathroom. 111. Pat guys on the back when using bathroom stall. 112. Play the stereos real loud and dance wildly. 113. Hog up the Xbox or PS2 demo games 114. Flip off the camera 115. get 220 items make the cashier ring them all up, then say you know what I will just take a pack of gum, say to return everything else 116. Put the items back in wrong spots 117. Walk past people and make bodily noises. 118. Format the hard drives on the computers 119. Stand in front of the Wal-Mart greeter and say "Welcome to Wal-Mart" before the greeter can. 120. Have a long conversation with the greeter so that he/she cannot greet customers entering the store or give them a shopping cart. 121. Go to the auto department and get a few jugs of antifreeze, put them in the freezers in the grocery department. 122. Roll a tire down the aisle and chase after it. 123. Go to the electronics department and put on a show for the video cameras. 124. Joust with the rascals (the little motorized wheelchairs at the entrance) 125. Act autistic by yelling "baseball" in a slightly retarded voice 126. Pillow fights with stuffed animals 127. Talk to the clerk in the electronics dept, and every 5 minutes or so yell "No! You are Wrong!" 128. Clip clothing to customers w/out their knowledge, clip-on ties work great 129. Clip a clip on tie to yourself on your back and walk in and out of the store a bunch of times and see if anyone notices 130. Men: Take women’s clothing and go to the changing rooms 131. Take embarrassing items (massive amounts of duesche in men’s carts works really well, or self enema kits, I do this at work all the time) and hide them in random people's carts 132. Get a blue or red vest from a friend who works at Wal-Mart and walk around helping customers and moving things and talking to other employees. 133. Put on a baseball helmet backwards, a hunting vest, a big stuffed bear under one arm and a pool cue. Tiptoe in and out of isles and yell "BANG" while pointing the pool cue at customers and employees, then jump into an isle where they can't see you. 134. Commando crawl through isles doing the same thing, but roll off into other isles and crawl away as fast as possible. This got me kicked out in under 10 minutes (my personal record). We got away with it that long because my friend explained to one employee that I was "slow" in the head and that I was simply expressing myself. 135. Play Hide and Go seek 136. While playing move stuff out of the shelves and get on the shelf, and put the merchandise in front of you and hide. ! also makes it interesting when people grab for a box and miss 137. Follow a random person around the store, buying the same things they buy 138. Go in without pants... ask an employee where they sell pants. 139. Do your shopping from other peoples carts 140. Go into fitting room and announce loudly "there's no toilet paper in here!" 141. Set up camp in sporting goods using their display items 142. Ask how much for the Big W out front. 143. Ask customer service where the nearest K-mart is 145. Remove all pricing stickers from all items before checking out 146. Grab the toys that make noise, turn them on, and hide them all around the store 147. Dress exactly like the manager and walk around the store abusing people. 148. Post 'Found Person' flyers in their 'Missing Persons' billboard. 149. Announce a Blue Light Special on the Wal-Mart P.A. 150. drop adult diapers into people’s carts 151. Try to return things with another stores brand name to Wal-Mart 152. Padlock all the carts together 153. Go in wearing a towel and ask for soap 154. Ask to see a selection of their most popular walls. 155. Ask if they have co-ed changing rooms 156. Test out the Riding Mowers. 157. Test out a Ladder. Use it to change some light bulbs 158. hook up voice changer to intercom, and switch between little girl and demonic 159. Act like you've never seen automatic sliding doors. 160. Shake all the soda 161. Make a fort 162. have deep, lengthy conversations...with a mannequin 163. Place Milk back behind the bleach. 164. Dodge ball with the big bouncy balls 165. Drop panties and jars of Vaseline into men's shopping carts 166. Beat a little kid at Nintendo. Make him cry. 167. Buy a bikini for the cute girl at the register 168. Follow random people around and spray everything they touch with Lysol 169. Scream every time the checkout person scans an item 170. Ask if they have seen Mike Rotch. Have them ask over the PA. 171. *even better if your male* Make out with the big plastic Ronald McDonald 172. Play limbo with the brooms 174. Ask the employees to recommend & describe personal lubricants 177. Go up to a cashier, and ask him/her to page a bogus person. Make up the name. 179. Take the extra buttons from the coats, name them, and talk to them 180. Ask if they have any lingerie with Tinky-Winky on it 181. Take photos of the store and the customers (don’t be afraid to get in there face. Also post pics online) 182. Hold desk clerks hostage in the fish section, then threaten to drown em over PA 183. Dress up as Mario and advertise Super Mario Sunshine 184. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!" 185. u can also throw skittles at people and say taste the rainbow...or take a box of lucky charms, shoot down the isle screaming "you'll never catch me lucky charms!" 186. Great pranks! However, you forgot to mention GRANNY PANTIES!!! They are great for every thing! Put them in peoples carts when they weren’t looking, Drop them over fresh fruit and hang them from flowers. Stuff a few pairs in with toys 187. run around the store going 'WEEE-WOOOO, WEEEE-WOOOO, WEEEEEE-WOOOOO' 188. Also, just before the store closes, fall asleep on a couch, and when someone asks you to leave at closing time, tell them you live there. 189. when in the isle that is really full of people suddenly fall on the floor and yell out "IVE BEEN HIT BY FALLING PRICES" 190. Bring Popped popcorn into the store, grab some chairs from wherever, take them to the electronics section and put them in the way of people, sit in them and watch whatever movie they have playing. 191. Go up to couples and go up to the guy (or girl), slap him (or her) and yell,” I THOUGHT UP LOVED ME!!ITS OVER!!!"then walk off in a huff 192. Go up to the busiest looking associate and rudely ask them where something is. Just make sure that the something you’re looking for is right next to you 193. One thing to do if you really have an extra twenty or fifty dollar bill is to make it stick to the floor in one of the aisles and every time someone tries to pick it up dive straight for them and scream "It's a trap! It's gonna explode!" 194. Hold a box tightly. if people look at you, clutch the box to your chest and say, "Mine." 195. Go to the checkout line and page yourself. Slip away, then come back 5 minutes later, saying you were paged. Repeat until you're told to leave. 196. Stick price stickers to yourself and lay on the conveyer belt. When asked what you're doing, say, "I got hungry and ate all my food." 197. Move the displays into a maze, then stand at the end and congratulate anybody who makes it out. 198. Walk up to an employee, and say "Can I help you?" 199. Act like a manikin. Then when people walk by, scare them or follow them. 200. Talk with fake bad accents or in a language that you don’t know. 201. Steal something from someone's cart and run off laughing. Be as conspicuous as possible. When they confront you, say "Blast! Foiled again!" and give the item back. 202. Roll around in the aisles 203. Create your own clothing in the Arts and Crafts section 204. Grab a 100 bucks worth of stuff, check out. When asked for money shrug. 205. Paint the store funny colors 206. Blindfolded. Grab as much clothing as possible in 30 seconds. Try on. YAAAAY!!! 207. Rope of an area walk on it and say and say it will collapse if anyone steps on 208. Walk around and worship random items around the store. Make it look convincing. 209. Announce: Wal-Mart clerks don't get paid enough to even shop at Wal-Mart! 211. Shave the Barbies 212. Go to the Pet Dept. and ask if the dead fish are half-price (true story) 213. Grab as many balls you can find and peg them at random kids around the store. 214. Play limbo with the brooms. 215. Hang comforters over a few aisles. 216. After the loudspeaker comes on, shout "Dad, was that you?" 217. Sell the store’s stuff to people 218. Fly a kite attached to a bike 219. Give random people a piggyback ride or vice versa 220. Ask people if they believe in magic 221. Have a paper airplane distance contest 222. Have a picnic with some people 223. Make a house out of card board boxes 224. Have a yard sale 225. Attach a video camera to a remote control car. Spy around 226. Buy a Chia Pet and call it Chia Charlie 227. Get some water guns and ATTACK!! 228. Have a competition with someone to see who is less competitive 229. Start hitting yourself in the head and say, SHUT up all of you - SHUT UP especially you Lawrence 230. Stick blueberries up your nose and see how far you can shoot them 231. Strut like John Wayne 232. Take an invisible dog for a walk 233. Talk only in famous catchphrases from movies 234. Three-legged softball or soccer (players are paired off, then each player has one leg tied to their partner's) 235. Throw around an invisible ball and see if you can get people to join you in a game of catch 236. Try to hypnotize someone 237. Verbally Abuse your patio furniture 238. Voice your opinion where no one can hear you 239. Try to not think about penguins (This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.) 240. Pretend you're a robot 241. Pretend to be a car run people over 242. Make a Conga line see how many people will join 243. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other people, "This is MY personal space!" 244. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other people 245. Swat at flies that don't exist. 246. Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it. 247. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 248. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 249. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 250. Greet everyone coming in the store with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral 251. Spin until you're dizzy. 252. Put the movie playing on mute and make a dialogue 253. Walk around Wal-Mart every so often pretend to trip on an 'invisible' wire 254. Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 255. Skip rather than walk. 256. When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans. 257. Walk up to an old lady and say, “You’ve just said the secret word! Please go to the management for your prize!” 258. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" 259. Start a sing-along. 260. Blow spit bubbles. 261. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger. What do you think?” 262. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!" 263. Make chalk drawings on the walls. 264. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away. 265. When it's silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?" 266. Start screaming that you lost your pet rat/snake/spider 267. Sing the song that get on everybody’s nerves as loud as you can 268. Fart. When the other person starts smelling it, say "It was you" 269. Pretend to be Johnny Depp 270. Chalk the shape of a person on the floor and spray a little ketchup around. 271. Shout, "Look, I'm naked!" just to see how many people actually turn to look. 272. Set up a lemonade stand in the restroom. 273. Yell: 'I Like Toast!!!' when it gets too quiet 274. Stick a price tag on yourself and sit on a shelf 275. Suck on ketchup packs and tell people it's astronaut food 276. Put twisted ketchup packets under the wheels of parked cars and wait 277. Sneak around like you did something wrong 278. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. 279. Ask people how to get to Wal-Mart 280. Try to Use Lawn Gnomes as Currency 281. Get on a skateboard stomach first. 282. Go next to random people and shout NO MEANS NO!!!!! 283. Pull price tags off of all the clothes. 284. Stand outside a store and pretend to be a paid advertisement 285. Stand outside a store and pretend to be a paid advertisement for Kmart 286. Take off your shoes and slide on the tile. 287. Tag 288. Start a protest 289. .If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for a half-hour while rocking from side to side. 290. Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the "hidden picture". 291. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone. 292. Ask which leading cold remedy will "give you a really wicked buzz" 293. Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets. 294. .Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof" 295. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say "Domino's." 296. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself. 297. Show people your driver's license or I.D. and demand to know "whether they've seen this man." 298. Open up a loaf of bread and make yourself a sandwich. Take it to the checkout lane and see how much they charge you for it. Tell them you added extra mayo. 299. Try to purchase one grape. Repeat until the laughter subsides and they feel obligated to start charging you. 300. Fill a shopping cart with watermelons. Get more carts and fill them with other heavy products. See if you can barricade another customer inside one of the aisles. (Try to capture an old lady; they're slower than the rest of us.) 301. Open up some cheese and crackers and offer samples. 302. Conduct your own Pepsi Challenge. 303. Pay in pennies 304. Pay in postage stamps. (Explain that you accidentally grabbed them instead of your food stamps because you were in a hurry to get out of the house before your alcoholic husband got home.) 305. Put your own surprises in the cereal boxes 306. Post your own "Buy one, get one free!" signs. 307. Rub olive oil all over your stuff. As soon as the cashier expresses a look of disgust, start complaining about how filthy the store is. 308. Take photos of men putting feminine hygiene products into their carts. Tell them they'll be able to download their photos at . 309. Hide your arms under your coat and ask a manager if the store is "armless accessible" 310. One-legged activities 311. Hide a walkie-talkie behind packages of adult undergarments. From the other end of the aisle, see if this is a product that can sell itself. 312. Leave small, expensive, easy-to-scan products in other people's carts. 313. Empty a bottle of aspirin all over the floor and lie down next to it. 314. Tell the cashier that it's great the store is providing jobs to "you people" 315. Pretend you're blind, and enter the fitting room with a seeing-eye dog. Exit the room naked, with the dog wearing your clothes. 316. Knock on the fitting room next to you, and say, "Pa? Is that you?" 318. In a whisper, ask questions about where the gun is. 319. Pour water underneath the wall between you and the next fitting room. 320. Confess your sins to the customer in the next fitting room. 321. Pant in a dressing room 322. Groan in a dressing room 323. Giggle in a dressing room 324. Fill the pockets of unwanted clothing with sand. 325. Wait for people to step outside the fitting area to show family members the clothes they're trying on. Hide the clothes they were originally wearing. 326. Enter the fitting room with nothing to try on. 327. Enter the fitting room with only a pair of gloves. 328. Inside the fitting room, put on a pair of pants and a shirt you just purchased at another store, leaving the tags and labels on the clothing. Exit the fitting room running, and see how far you can get before being tackled and having to show your receipt. 329. Say "Yes, officer. He's/she's in there." Then knock aggressively on one of the fitting room doors. 330. See how many sweaters you can put on at one time. 331. Ask people if they want to accept Jesus into their lives. 332. Making as many trips to the fitting room as necessary, see what percentage of the store's total stock you can transport there. Each shelf cleared is worth 5 points. Entire circular racks are worth 25 points. A variation of the game may be played using multiple fitting rooms. 333. Put itching powder in unpurchased underwear. 334. Run around the store while pushing a shopping cart. 335. Go up to people and fall over randomly right in front of them 336. Go up to random shoppers and sneeze on them. 337. Sneeze on the cashiers. 338. "Accidentally" sneeze on every article of clothing you look at. 339. Sneeze on your hands. Then go up to shoppers and shake their hand. 340. Play with the bicycle horns 341. Grab a pair of jeans and put them on your head. 342. Run around the store with them on your head 343. Walk around like a zombie 344. Lay down in the middle of an aisle 345. Sing "I'm a little teacup" really loud in the middle of the store 346. Run around the store in a chicken outfit and "bwak" at them. 347. Sit down in the food court and randomly tell a story 348. Dress up as super man, walk around the store and at random times, and pretend to "save the day." 349. Walk around on your hands and feet 350. Go up and talk with people. During the conversation, randomly change your name. 351. Walk around with both your hands in a bucket 352. Make up a song about shopping carts and sing it really loud at random places 353. Have an argument with yourself in front of the cash register about how you are going to pay. 354. Walk back and forth in an aisle continuously 355. Walk into walls 356. When you take your bags full of items, pick them up slowly and make it look like their way too heavy. (Works best if you only have one small item.) 357. Tell the cashier a story 358. Put socks on your ears 359. Do a sock dance randomly around the store 360. Tap dance randomly 361. Ask an employee if they happen to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit 362. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass. 363. Go up to the manager and tell him or her that you’ve lost your mommy 364. Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!” 365. Golf 366. Create a costume 367. Wear it around the store 368. Make prank phone calls to Wal-Mart 369. Play with matches 370. Build a pyramid of people 371. Ask why 372. Cheer up a potato 373. Bounce a potato 374. Stand on your head 375. Stand on someone else's head 376. Do aerobic exercises 377. Wear a lampshade on your head 378. Ask people if they want to apply for a unicorn hunting license 379. Award random people prizes 380. Play air guitar 381. Air drums 382. Air keyboard 383. Charge people to come to your air show 384. Confess to a crime...that didn't happen 385. Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English 386. Free the oppressed toasters of America 387. Inflate a beach ball and throw it around the store 388. Chew on your arm until someone notices 389. Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it." 390. Start a wave 391. Walk around the room begging for spare change 392. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating 393. Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!" 394. Go up to random people, regardless of age, sex, or marital status, and ask them if they'll marry you. If they say yes, act all nervous, stutter something about not being ready for a commitment, and run. 395. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.” 396. Announce your candidacy for President 397. Put your face really close a person while they're facing a different direction, tap them on the shoulder, and watch them jump when they turn to face you 398. Walk into a store that has a sign that says, "Have a penny? Give a penny! Need a penny? Take a penny!" with a HUGE jar of pennies. Take a penny out of the cup, put it into your jar, and walk out. 399. While standing next to someone, unobtrusively reach your arm around their back, and tap them on the opposite shoulder. 400. Tell someone, "Okay, here's what you do: bite down on both your pinky nails really hard for about thirty seconds, and then when I tell you that time is up, link your pinkies and pull really hard." If they ask, "Why?" tell them that it feels really neat. If done correctly, this trick should cause excruciating pain. 401. Tell somebody that's wearing Velcro shoes or slip-ons that their shoelaces are untied. 402. Give somebody a Wet Willy. 403. Take a deck of cards, and say, "Okay, I'm gonna do a magic trick." Ask the person to pick any card, and put it anywhere in the deck. After they have shuffled the deck thoroughly, take the deck back. Ask, "What was your card?" When they tell you, say, "Not only has your card magically come to the top of the deck, but it has also magically turned into..." Pick up the top card, look at it, and name it 404. Exclaim in a crowded place, "No, I won't touch you there for a dollar! No, not two dollars, either!" 405. Approach somebody quietly from behind, grab them, and scream, "Booga booga!" or any other such exclamation loudly. This works extremely well on high strung people. 406. Tap the person on the shoulder continuously, and when you have their attention, just continue tapping them on the shoulder. 407. Another classic is to get about three other people in on a joke that has no meaning at all, and tell it with those three people and the victim in the room. All the people 'in' on the joke laugh, and the victim doesn't get it. When he asks, say, "Oh, never mind. If you don't get it, it's not worth explaining. My favorite is, "A hippo and a penguin are taking a bath together. The hippo says, 'Pass the soap,' and the penguin says, 'No soap. Radio!'" 408. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 409. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 410. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 411. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 412. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 413. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". 414. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 415. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 416. Ask people what gender they are. 417. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 418. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". 419. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 420. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 421. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 422. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. 423. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 424. Cross the road in front of a car, change your mind 3/4 of the way over and turn back. (Particularly good if the driver has honked his horn or shown signs of impatience). 425. If you are in a shop and a child is being told he can't have any chocolate, secretly put a bar (or several) in the cart and wait for the argument at the checkout counter. 426. Recite crossword clues out (very) loud in public, complain if anyone offers advice on the answers. 427. Sing songs out of tune and with incorrect lyrics (preferably accompanying a loud ipod). 428. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." While in the bathroom 429. Ask people to prove everything they say (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!") 430. Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you." 431. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you." 432. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the." 433. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips. 434. Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach." 435. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 436. Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you. 437. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says. 438. Draw mustaches on posters. 439. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?" 440. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that. 441. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise. 442. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper. 443. Say, "Now how did that get there?" while in the bathroom 444. Go up to someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly. 445. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly. 446. Make scary faces at babies. 447. Scare the dogs that are in cars 448. Poke anyone near you and say, "stop violating my personal space." 449. Look up see how many people you can get to look up 450. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?" 451. Slap people and tell them to stop grabbing your ass. 452. Smell smoke often and announce it. 453. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat. 454. Step on the heels of the person in front of you, and ask them to watch where they're going. 455. Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane 456. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus. 457. Tell strangers that they're "putting on weight nicely." 458. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone. 459. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweatpants. 460. Tell people they have bad breath. 461. Tell teenagers how things were in your day 462. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?" 463. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family. 464. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot. 465. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial. 466. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises. 467. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!" 468. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know." 469. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation 470. Ask if you can buy a shopping cart. 471. Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them. 472. Get a dish towel and bucket and sit on the floor singing "It's a hard knock life for us!" 473. Play blind chicken with 12 friends putting a blind fold on one and them having that person trying to find you. 474. Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at an item near you scream "TUTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can. 475. Run up to a new employee in the pet aisle and point to an invisible cash register and say "Hey you! That cash register over there, well um, I think it's magic! It made my little sister (or brother if you have one) disappear!" Wait and see what they say and the expression on their face. 476. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." When you’re in the bathroom 477. Walk up to a person and say I'm the FBI and I heard that you have been shoplifting and we need to check you. 478. When a woman with children walks near you in the toy aisle, throw yourself on the floor, screaming "mommy, I want that toy" 479. Try to fly on a broom. If anyone asks what you are doing tell them in a very annoyed voice, "the brooms don't work!" 480. Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell "Its gonna get me!" 481. Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?" 482. Pour bubble bath into the fountains in the garden section. 483. run around the store yelling I'm a princess while holding a toy wand. 484. Asking a store clerk “how much?” 3 times after they give you the price. 485. After using the restroom and washing my hands, wet one of your hands then walk up to someone and grab their arm with your soaking wet hand and say, "Don't you just hate it when you pee all over yourself?" 486. when walking down an isle and some stranger is walking behind you bolt around suddenly and say, "Are you following me? Why are you following me?" 487. walk up to strangers that are eating something and ask if you can have a bite. I swear, 50% say no but the other 50% stick it in your face and say "sure!" 488. speak in monotone and laugh in monotone and in rhythm. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 489. Put an empty box on your head and yell, "I am BOXPERSON!" and run around making your own hero-music. 490. Write messages of doom on the sides of random soup cans. 491. Sit down in the cereal aisle and start opening and dumping out cereal. When someone asks what you're doing, say, "I'm looking for the prizes!". 492. Throw tomatoes at people and yell, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!". 493. Bring items from other stores and put them on the shelves 494. Skip around merrily and hug people 495. Run full-tilt into the candy aisle, grab a 5-pack of Tic-Tacs, and wave them aloft as you proclaim, "At last! The final ingredient! Now I will rule the world!" 496. Walk up to someone, shaking uncontrollably, and stutter as you ask where to find the caffeine pills. 497. Snatch and open a box of pancake mix, scream, "LIES! THERE ARE NO PANCAKES HERE!" and throw handfuls of powder at people. 498. Put 'Caution: Wet floor' signs in very strange places, i.e. on top of shelves, in the parking lot, etc. 499. Put a box on your head and lie down in the middle of an aisle. 500. SHOP no jk the real thing is Stand outside the door with a sign that says "The devil is in our Wal-marts! Repent!"

hehe. I really need to go to America.

If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

(\_/) I'm Bubbles.

(='.'=)Copy & Paste Me On Your Page

(")_(")If You Are Against Animal Abuse Pain is what the animals get, Love is what the animals need!! STOP ANIMAL ABUSE NOW!!!!!!!!

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA this didn't fool meh!!)

Dear bullies, See that little boy that you call small and ugly? He has a 5% chance of living because he was a premature baby. (6 months) See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he talked his friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of because of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow because his family is too poor.

Bullies, think before you say or act, because you have no idea what is going on in someones life.

Repost this on your profile if your against bullying!


FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella BEST FRIENDS:Take yours and say 'RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FREAKING AWSOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Will tell you that you're a great singer even if you're terrible BEST FRIENDS: Will tell you that you suck.

FRIENDS: Will ask why you're crying BEST FRIENDS: Will already have a shovel to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crap!

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

--You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

--Multiply it by infinity, take it to the depths of forever and you'll still only have a glimpse of how much I love you.

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals

4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches

5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"

6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

43) I may not have a private army.

44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.

47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

54) - Especially not all of them at once.

55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.

63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

-I will also not use it to search for buried treasure

66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.

71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry

82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”

84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.

86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.

87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.

89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.

90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.

93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.

95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.

96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.

97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.

99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.

100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.

105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.

106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.

107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".

108) Even if he is.

109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.

110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.

111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.

112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.

113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.

114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.

115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.

116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.

117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.

118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.

119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.

120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.

121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.

122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.

123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.

124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.

125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.

126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.

127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.

128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.

129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.

130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.

131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.

132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."

133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino dementor!"

134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.

135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."

136) To which I am not allowed to reply.

137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.

139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.

140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.

141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.

142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"

143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.

144) Portable swamps are not funny.

145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.

146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.

147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.

148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.

149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.

150) Neither is my animagus form.

151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.

153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.

154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

155) No part of the school uniform is edible.

156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".

158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.

159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.

160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.

165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."

167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.

168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.

169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.

170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.

171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.

172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.

173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".

174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.

175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.

177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.

178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.

179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.

180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.

181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.

182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.

183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.

184) Just because the Golden Snitch looks like a beetle doesn't mean I can call the exterminator to get rid of it since he will not find Hogwarts

185) I will not try to throw Mr. Lupin in a kennel whenever there is a full moon

186) I will not throw my wand at Mr. Lupin and expect him to play fetch

187)-I will not do it with Sirius either

188) I will not "redecorate" Snape's classroom no matter if it's too dark and gloomy

189) I will not draw mustaches on the paintings

190) I will not give a dead mouse as a birthday present to Ms. McGonall

191) Hogwarts isn't home to Voldemort and never will

192) It is not funny when I try to suck up the resident ghosts into a vacuum cleaner

193)-I should not have a vacuum cleaner in the first place

194) Draco is not the "New Dark Lord"

.•*””*• /ღ •。* * 。 ღ 。* • * .ღ 。 /* ٌٌٌHARRY POTTER * \ . * * 。 ღ。* 。* ღ 。 •* " Share

AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it..Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

I am an Aquarius!

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you basically are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I will go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.


I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.


I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

'I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork


I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.


I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.


I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm BRITISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.


I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

Ihave my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.


I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY


I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm DANISH so I MUST be racist

"Today is my birthday,

I want to celebrate in only one way,

I want to have good luck for just one day,

Bad luck for the rest of time is really okay,

For just a day I want to have good luck,

Like I look under the couch and find a buck,

When everyone sees me, they say good day,

And I know it will be that way,

I want to get all good grades,

I want to find diamonds and jades,

I want a hug from every friend,

Wishing the day would never end,

I want to get loads of presents and eat cake,

I want to stay up really late,

I want to sing about joy,

I want to get new toys,

But it can't be that way,

I have no say,

When it's my Birthday,

I have bad luck,

Why does this suck,

When I'm too tired,

I'm called a liar,

When they say I cheated,

I stayed seated,

And said no words,

No 'good days' can be heard,

No hug from a friend,

Is this really the end,

One present for me,

It comes from my family,

A book about science,

No more allowance,

It's my special day,

So why did it end this way?"

-Supere Flame Kitty, her birthday was today and it was all ruined by bad luck... "DAMN YOU PATCHES!!!!"


You love hoodies. You love jeans. Dogs are better than cats. It's hilarious when people get hurt. You've played with/against boys on a team. Shopping is torture Sad movies suck. You own/ed an X-Box Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. You watch sports on TV. Gory movies are cool You go to your dad for advice. You own like a trillion baseball caps. You like going to high school football games. You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. Baggy pants are cool to wear. It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours. You love to go crazy and not care what people think. Sports are fun Talk with food in your mouth. Sleep with your socks on at night. TOTAL: 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. You love skirts. Cats are better than dogs. You love to shop. You wear eyeliner. You wear the colour pink Go to your mom for advice Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favourite colours. You hate wearing the colour black. You like hanging out at the shopping centre. You likegetting manicures and/or pedicures You like wearing jewelry Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies. You don't like the movie Star Wars. You were/are ingymnastics/dance It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up You smile a lot more than you should. You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. You care about what you look like. You like wearing dresses when you can. You like wearing body perfume. You love the movies. Used to play with dolls as little kid. Like being the star of every thing. TOTAL: 8...

I'm more masculine than feminine and I'm a girl!

To do list:

1. See if bookworms bounce.

2. Achieve this by throwing self down stairs.

3. Find something to become obsessed with.

4. Research the word 'Oxymoronic'.

5. Prove everyone else wrong.

6.Conduct experiments into the electrical conductivity of cheese.

7. Work out what the heck E=MC2 means.

8. Conquer the world. Before breakfast.

9. Put some Ragu on a sled, and push it down a hill.

10. Kidnap an imaginary book character.

11. Sharpen hockey stick.

12. Hit someone with aforementioned hockey stick.

13. Find somewhere to hide from police.

14. Run around screaming 'The angels have got the phone box!' Note how many odd looks, panicked expressions, laughs and weird burst of blue light I get.

15. Buy chocolate spread. Have it on crumpets.

16. Become a master hypnotist.

17. Hypnotize a pineapple.

18. Lick my elbow.

19. Paint the entire house bright green.

20. Find something rhyming with 'silver'.

21. Find how many people think 'orange' sonds like 'guillible', when said slowly.

23. Avoid mindwipe.

24. Find Itex. Blow it up.

25. Actually, get some bombs. And an AK-47. Then blow Itex up.

26. Grow wings.

27. Get admitted to a mental institution, then initiate a mass break-out.

28. Spontaneously combust. 29. Find out where they store the Rubellium...

30. Kill whoever thought up homework. In worst way possible

. 31. For the above, I need the TARDIS. Gp find that first. And steal it. And run away from a very angry Doctor about to skewer me with a sonic screwdriver.

32. Work out where the pretty lights come from.

33. Find number 22.

34. Try not to think about fluorrescent penguins for a whole 5 minutes.

35. Duck punches currently being aimed at head.

36. Laugh manically.

37. Create a horcrux. Actually, make someone who I really hate do it.

38. Breath underwater.

39. Grab a random passer by. Waltz with them.

40. Convince somebody that there are faries living under the earth.

41. Eat pot of pesto. With no pasta.

42. Become emo ninja.

43. Scream 'I like CHEESE!' whenever anyone asks you a question. Then proceed to hop in circles before collapsing on the ground.

44. Squirt ketchup all over furniture. Claim to have been attacked by vengfull nargles.

45. Look for missing socks. If in doubt, ask Iggy.

46. Do homework that was due in for last week.

47. Listen to song. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, until imprinted on conciousness.

48. Teach everyone the dead pinyata dance.

49. Play with fire.

50. Run away to join the circus.

51. Get another chainsaw. Last one broke half way through sawing someones head off...

52. Hit people over the head for no appareent reason, before running away. Cackle manically while doing so.

53. Repeat what people say. At the exact time they say it. Ooh, tricky. You need to be phsycic for this.

54. If someone says they're worried, reply with, 'Don't worry. I've got a toothpick. Nothing can go wrong!

' 55. Add 'doom' on the end of everything, eg. 'Please pass me the carrots of doom' or 'That rabbit of doom doesn't look very well, does it?'

56. Mkae asbltoeuly no sesne.

57. Find an obscure town in an obscure country on Google Earth. Tell everyone it has the key to immortality somewhere near it.

58. Poke rocks. If asked why, say, 'For no good reason.'

59. Stare at the sky. When a sizeable number of people have joined the staring, quitely walk away, and observe from a nearby, comfortable spot just how long the crowd stays there.

60. Become paranoid.

61. Ask a complete stranger if they'll marry me. Propose using a grapefruit.

62. Hit people over the head with books.

63. Hide computer first, so it doesn't get confiscated... like last time...

64. Hide it underground.

65. Hope seismology sensors don't pick up the vibrations...


67. Lizxy... hehehehehehe... hehehehehehehehe... Lizxy, hehehehe...

68. Hoard all the shiny stuff in house. Pile it on chair. Say, over and over, 'My precious!' in creepy Golum accent.

69. Get a motto. Something odd.

70. Wonder if anyone is actully reading this.

71. Turn all the baked bean cans upside down in Tescos. If questioned, it was caused by a bump in the fabric of the time-space contium...

Mental Disorder Help Line:

If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive: It doesn't matter what number you press - no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic: Press 912512497591576041.

If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short term memory loss: Press 9.

If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.


PREP You own a cell own something from abercrombie You own something from pacsun You own something from Hollister You own something from American Eagle You love/like going to the mall. You own an iPod/MP3 player. You love Starbucks. You have been called a brat. You hate buying things that are on sale You have more than one house Total : 2

GOTHIC Black is one of your favorite colors. You have thought about death. You wear chains. You like heavy metal. You've shopped at Hot Topic. You have worn black lipstick. Your hair was/is dark You dislike preps. You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic. Total : 3

PUNK You can skateboard You've worn plaid. You like Converse You hate MTV You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. You dislike pink. You hate/dislike preps. You wear/wore skateboarding shoes. Total : 2

GEEK You love the computer You like Harry Potter You get straight A's. You love/like reading. You don't care what you look like. You have a curfew. You always do your homework. You never miss school unless you're sick. Total : 8

EMO You cut yourself over depression You have been depressed. You have black rimmed glasses. You like the band Evanescence You cry easily You like emo music. You hate being called emo. You keep/have kept a journal/diary. You have written a sad poem You think emo chicks/Guys are hot Total : 3

GHETTO/GANGSTA You like rap. You are/was in a gang. You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants. You swear once in a while or a lot. You have freestyled. You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out. You can break dance Total : 1 (Thank God!)

HARDCORE/SCENE You like loud music You love/loved the Ninja Turtles You never walk anywhere. You wear slip-on shoes. You wear/wore like the band panic! at the disco You wear band t-shirts. People have called you a freak and meant it. You love to "hardcore" dance. hair has been died more than 1 color. Total: 2

ATHLETIC You watch/watched the Superbowl. You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. You collect your jerseys You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards You have posters or plaques of famous athletes. Your garage consists of sports equipment You belong/belonged to a school are going/did go to a sports summer camp You have a specific number Total: 0

I am a GEEK! :D

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.


- Smile all the time in an insane manner

- Stare at a particular person for a long time before repeating with a different person

- Laugh at sad and scary events

- Tilt your head and smile to people who ask what your name is. Don't answer them though

- Keep on repeating someone's name under your breath whenever someone else is around

- Keep on squirting ketchup and/or jam on your hand "accidently"

- Draw random people and then show them to your friends

- Grin whenever someone mentions death

- Cackle at people's pain

- Horde all the shiny things that are in your house onto the couch and keep repeating "My precious" in a creepy voice

- Hide in the bushes. When someone is walking by, giggle creepily

- Take creepy lessons from Russia; almost all of the other countries avoid him because of it!

- Stalk someone

- Read the same thing over and over and over again when someone else is near you

- Look at everyone darkly and keep on muttering "They'll be gone soon..."

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)


1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you


Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are


3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to


S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your


5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

A SCARY WAY TO BREAK UP! DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen!

One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important. Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you awful...!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your!?

He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub. Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder. Later that week, Sarah’s boyfriends father ? was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said “Destroy his life... destroy his life...” She cut his throat before he could scream.

Sarah killed his family, but did not find Jason anywhere... If you do not repost this with the title “1 scary way to break up”, you are a heartless …and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend.

You have 13 minutes

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A Home for Fear by MiraEyeteeth reviews
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Mario and Sonic: Heroes Unite! by Azurixx reviews
After a big battle against Eggman, Sonic and his friends get sucked into Mario's universe. At first, their main priority is to get back home, but they realize they must work together to stop an evil force, bigger than Eggman and Bowser's powers combined!
Crossover - Sonic the Hedgehog & Mario - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 100 - Words: 371,110 - Reviews: 836 - Favs: 426 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 8/27/2013 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Sonic, Mario - Complete
AlphaOmega Protocol by Syl reviews
With the Justice League compromised, it is up to Young Justice to save the day.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,423 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/26/2013 - Published: 4/20/2012 - Richard G./Nightwing - Complete
It Can't be Helped by IncMode reviews
AU. The GIW were cracking down hard. Kidnapped, beaten, and brainwashed, Danny doesn't even know who he is anymore. Having been transferred to Arkham, he is offered a shot at salvation. Danny Phantom/Young Justice X-over. Cover pic drawn by the lovely bethanytokitoki
Crossover - Danny Phantom & Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,794 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 627 - Follows: 671 - Updated: 4/22/2012 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Danny F., Bruce W./Batman
HetaPalm by sakimidare reviews
Ever felt the impulse to facepalm while obesessing about Hetalia in the presence of others?Yeah,been there a million times.Just some Hetalia related funny incidents that happened in my life.There seems to be tons of them.WARNING:selfinsert,my snarkiness.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,424 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/31/2011 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Canada
Top Percentage by PreciousOrgel reviews
Oneshot creepypasta. All Joey wanted to do was make his RATTATA truley top percentage.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/17/2010 - Raticate/Ratta - Complete
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Three Kitsunes and a Rotten Egg reviews
When two young kitsunes try to steal classified data from Tails, they both get caught by Sonic. After a bit of digging, they all find out that the two youngsters are failed clones of Tails. They were created by Eggman. What is Eggman planning and why does he want Tails' classified info?
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,634 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/15/2014 - Published: 3/1/2014 - Tails, Tails Doll, OC
The Thing That puts Creepy in Creepypasta: Virus 494 reviews
Do you know about the game Slender? Do you know why he stalks you in the game? Do you know why he appears more often whenever you get another page? Well, it's certainly not in the programming...
Slender - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,501 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/28/2014 - Complete
Oops, My Finger Slipped reviews
When the Creepypastas are chase by God's angels, they need a safe haven...fortunately, they find a believer nearby..."GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YA DING DONGS!" Yeah, the believer isn't to happy to find them in her house...
Slender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 2 - Words: 995 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/8/2014 - Published: 1/26/2014
Silence is Golden but Duct Tape is Silver reviews
When I meet the Justice League and Young Justice, what will they have to endure from an insane writer with literature powers? How will they save themselves from my pranks? I dunno. All they know is that they have to get me on their side before the Light persuades me to join them...any request for additional characters are welcome, including yourself! Sorry for any grammar mistakes!
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,713 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/7/2014 - Published: 1/30/2014 - Wally W./Kid Flash, Bruce W./Batman, Jason T./Robin II
Pitch's Nightmare Record reviews
Unknown to all, Pitch has to keep a record on his nightmares so he can keep a child from alerting his presence to the Guardians. Take a peek into the book of fright if you dare and see if you can look at the definition of nightmares the same way again...Rated M for future blood and gore I have planned, as well for swearing
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 791 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/6/2014 - Pitch
Pikachu Killer
Gary's Raticate had died and Red took away what he wanted most; to be the Poke'mon Champion...You thought he was going to let him off so easy after that? Oh, no, he was going to make Red pay the price for his crimes...
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 532 - Published: 2/3/2014 - Gary O./Shigeru, Red, Pikachu - Complete
Winter's Frost reviews
A girl named Allison has been chosen as Jack's Soul Mate by the moon. His frost and her chill mix perfectly for the Winter season like their centers; Fun and Joy. But when Pitch rises again, will the thrill of fear outweigh the joy of love? For Painted-red-colored-blue!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,744 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/2/2014 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Jack Frost, Pitch, OC
Golden Witch Trickster reviews
I go to Hogwarts as a first year to annoy Snape, Harry, Dumbledore, and more! I have fun in the beginning, but I get in trouble when a certain pink-lover comes into the series too early! Will we even survive the Ministry of Magicks when the Dark Lord is on all their tails?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 936 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Harry P., Voldemort, OC
Pain Comes With Love reviews
A threat shadows the children of the world that is more darker than Pitch and much more powerful. It's goal: destroy all aspects of childhood. The Guardians try to fend it off, but fail. Getting closer to it's goal, the Man in the Moon send two other guardians to help. Unfortunately, one is insane and the other isn't very fond of the Guardians...IMPORTANT MESSAGE IN CHAPTER 12!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,882 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/30/2014 - Published: 1/20/2014 - Pitch, Man in the Moon, OC
Life's a Gift and Death's a Mercy reviews
A journal entry of a teenage girl who plays Pokémon Black...then she gets a shiny named Sun Sky...but is she really a shiny? Mentions Insanity and suicide
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 599 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/29/2014 - Munna, OC - Complete
The Eight Pages of an Everlasting Nightmare reviews
Do you know who is played by the game? The one who faces the true horror before you? Well, her thoughts were always imprisoned in herself as she ran, ran from the horror called Slenderman. The one who brought her into this nightmare. Will she be able to escape his clutches or will she die like her little sister did? It's up to you, reader, to decide her fate...
Slender - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,816 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/29/2014 - Published: 1/23/2014 - Complete
To Torture the Guardians(and Pitch) reviews
When the Guardians get a new pet cat, they regret it immediately. This cat knows everyone's weakness and uses them to create pranks. Everyone is trying to survive the Prank war, but only one will become victorious. Come and find out what the Guardians, Pitch, and Pitch's new friend have to go through to live...and it only gets worse when her friend, Gold, enters the picture...
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,258 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/29/2014 - Published: 1/23/2014 - Jack Frost, Pitch, Sandy, Tooth - Complete
Guardian's Poems and Rhymes
Something for you, And the Guardians too, As you look into things you didn't know, Like Bunny's Past life so, Come and read, Find the knowledge that you might need. Like Nursery Rhymes and poems that I have been itching to write! Pleez review! :P
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 564 - Updated: 1/29/2014 - Published: 1/28/2014 - Jack Frost, Man in the Moon - Complete
Collapsing Ruins reviews
I always cherished my Raichu and he did back... I just didn't know how much...NO SLASH, rated to be safe
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,365 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2014 - Published: 1/20/2014 - Raichu, OC
Mind Control reviews
Ever wondered what would happen if Sandy used the same trick that Pitch used to make him disappear? Well, when the Guardians get tired of Pitch being a threat, they decide to do something about it...
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 684 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/25/2014 - Pitch, Sandy - Complete
Tresspassing Ghoul reviews
In Slender's woods, Slendy finds a spirit watching him do his work...Slendy doesn't like visitors in his forest...mentions organs and death...
Slender - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 516 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/24/2014 - Complete
Countdown of History reviews
A special being is born...Clockwork's apprentice...but he has a bigger meaning than any 5-year old should...rated to be safe...
Danny Phantom - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 417 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/23/2014 - Dan Phantom, Clockwork, OC - Complete
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