Mooncheese
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Joined 03-06-04, id: 548896, Profile Updated: 02-12-08
Author has written 16 stories for Harry Potter, Lord of the Flies, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

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ATTENTION!

Aikos Night-Patrol and I have teamed up to bring you...

THE EDITH FACTORY !

The author-duo sensation that's gripping the FanFiction nation!

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1089120/

(Hurry while stocks last!)

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I, Mooncheese, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I enjoy, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

(I have joined the review revolution. Put the above sentence in your profile and spread the love!)

Good day. I'm Mooncheese. You may be wondering (but then again, you may not) just how and why I came to naming myself 'Mooncheese.' Well...it's a long and wildly fascinating story...so I won't tell you about it.

But, because I am a nice person and take pity on all you intensely curious people out there, I will give you a few select chosen facts about myself.

Name: Kelsey

Age: 17 (mcHUZZAH to that!)

Hobbies: Singing (badly) writing (okishly) reading (anything and everything. Even the sides of cereal boxes. Although perhaps not porn), fanfiction, procrastinating heavily from doing important things such as Revising, and Doing My Homework, movie-watching, living entirely in my own head 90 of the time...

Occupation: Savvy Jack Numero Uno

Location: Outer London. Which sounds all very impressive but really isn't.

Now that you have been introduced to some extent to ME, you might be frowning puzzedly at the screen and wondering WHAT exactly is a 'Savvy Jack.'

Well, I'm going to tell you.

The SavvyJacks are an elite group of four who are united through bonds of friendship, humour and a very large obsession with the ultimate Savvy himself, Captain Jack Sparrow. We became the SavvyJacks after we went to see 'Dead Man's Chest' at the Odeon in Leicster Square, not knowing that this would be a film that would change our lives forever. We spent four wonderful days together roaming and exploring and getting hopelessly lost in London. Those were some damn good days.

We consist of four wonderful people, and we are...:

ME (Kelsey)

Nancy

Sarah

Katie

I both love and miss the SavvyJacks with all my heart, as the other three SJ's are situated in the wonderful countryside, wheras I am here. BUT! We are still, and always will be "Savvy as One." And no amount of distance can ever change that.

SJ's on fanfiction (and I strongly suggest you go check them out) are NancyintheskywithDiamonds and Aiko's-Night Patrol.

QUOTES FROM THE LONDON TRIP WITH THE SAVVYJACKS

(Many thanks to Nancy for putting the majority of these quotes into words when my memory failed me)

(SCENE: 3 - 4 am in the morning, much chuckling and loud talking from Nancy and Kelsey, sleeping from Katie and sighs from Sarah, who is trying in vain to fall asleep)

KELSEY: Oh my god yeah did you used to watch Old Bear?

NANCY: YEAH! That was so funny... (general dorkishness ...)

Conversation continues

KELSEY: Did you see the one where Little Bear lost his trousers?

NANCY: No? What happened to them?

KELSEY: I think Rabbit used them to ice his cake!

(Nancy cracks up at this point, as a scenario like the below pops into her head:)

LITTLE BEAR: (Wakes up) (Looks to 'regular place' where trousers are kept) (Notices they are missing) (face contorts in rage) Where the HELL are my fucking trousers!

(Little Bear runs around, and this is particularly funny because he has abnormally long legs, and there is this huge tan line where his trousers should be, arms in the air)

(Little Bear enters Kitchen, sees Rabbit, confronts Rabbit)

LITTLE BEAR: What the HELL are you doing with my trousers?

RABBIT: Oh, sorry Little Bear, I didn't realise they were yours!

LITTLE BEAR: Who elses bloody trousers were they likely to be!

(Little Bear, in a fit of rage, launches himself at Rabbit's cake, bodyslamming into it and making a tiny indent in the middle)

RABBIT: Thank you little bear, it just needed that touch!

(Most of the above was comprised by the two of us as we lay in a helpless heap on the floor, laughing...but it makes better sense in one scenario)

0o0

SCENE: Around eleven o'clock at night, all four of us watching Brokeback Mountain, getting bored with all the grunting and silences from the cowboys and so filling in the incomprehensible sentences with what they're REALLY thinking...

(Opening scene to Brokeback Mountain)

(Cowboy gets out a ciggarette)

NARRATION: Damn, ah look sho good with this ciggarette! I hate smokin', but I jusht look sho damn good ah cain't help myself!

(Cowboy leans casually on truck)

NARRATION: Damn, I jusht look sho good with this here truck! I jusht wish there was a mirror to check mahself out in!

(Cowboy discovers wing mirror)

NARRATION: JOY!

WHOEVER HEATH LEDGER PLAYED: Blahblahblahblahblahblahblah

TRANSLATION: Mah Gawd he is shexy. If only he'd look at me...

JACK TWIST: Blachsdfhdfgjdhjgdfhjfngdsnfgkjs

TRANSLATION: I hope these beans don't give me gas cos he's checking out ma be-hind.

Tumbleweed tumbles

(After the 'sexual incident' in Brokeback Mountain)

JACK TWIST: I ain't no queer.

(Palm slap)

0o0

SARAH: Omg - look at that cloud!

NANCY: Which one?

SARAH: That massive one. That is one shexy cloud...

KATIE: I do believe Sarah's getting quite turned on...

ME: (brushing hair on other side of room) Just another normal day with the SavvyJacks...

0o0

Shopping in Camden market. General chatting and walking around.

KELSEY: Oh my god, look at that bin! It's like a punk bin!

ALL: My god. What a bin.

(Stares at bin)

(Takes picture of bin)

0o0

SCENE: Late night, 4 - 5 am, Nancy and Kelsey sitting in Kitchen with a torch, huddled in duvets,specifically in the gap in the wall between kitchen and dining room with our backs to the sink and feet on chairs. We are observing the mater and pater of all spiders scuttle around the ceiling by aid of a dying torch while Katie and Sarah snoozing in living room.

NANCY: OMG! Get away from the spider you foolish fly!

(Spider pounces and engulfs fly)

BOTH: OMG BLEAUGH NO MURDER NO!

(Later)

KELSEY: What shall we call the spider?

NANCY: I don't know... let's toss names at it til it moves!

(General name throwing)

NANCY: What about Legolas?

(Spider Moves)

KELSEY: Hi Legolas!

(Later)

KELSEY: So these are our duties: (shines torch) Legolas (spider), Romeo (snail), Juliet (snail), Florence (bug), Mr T (dead fly), Pigwigdeon (daredevil moth/fly) and porn movie (light in window next door).

NANCY: Why are we doing this?

KELSEY: I'm not sure. (Shines torch) Oh.

NANCY: WHAT!

KELSEY: Legolas has moved.

NANCY: How will we escape if he tries to eat us?

KELSEY: Fall backwards and backflip over the sink.

NANCY: Good plan.

(Later, around 5am)

KELSEY: (Shines torch onto dining table) Ok, so that's a bag, and thats a hair straightner... (Shines torch on hair straightner bag) What the hell is that?

NANCY: I don't know. A baguette warmer?

KELSEY: Probably.

(EVEN later)

NANCY: He's never going to move is he? (Looks at Legolas)

KELSEY: No. Do you think that book wants to shag that makeup bag?

NANCY: GOD yeah. (Goes and positions makeup bag and book)

BOTH: Ah, young love.

(EVEN LATER)

KELSEY: Let's look to the words of Marco Polo for advice!

NANCY: It's going to be about bloody horses, I know it.

KELSEY: (Reading) And so, taking the horses to Egypt...

0o0

SCENE: MIDNIGHT, OR MAYBE ONE IN THE MORNING

Much talking and chattage

ONE OF US: Look, it's raining.

ANOTHER ONE OF US: (I don't HOW this idea came about, or who suggested it, so the person will remain anonymous for now) Hey! Why don't we all go dancing in the garden in the rain?

REST OF SAVVYJACKS: Wow! What a great idea!

Much scrambling for shoes and coats, apart from Kelsey and possibly Nancy and/or Sarah and Katie (can't remember who had shoes and who didn't...or were we all barefoot?), who unwisely sneer at the idea of shoes and go running madly outside, barefoot

All stand holding hands in garden

KELSEY: Ready? Go!

ALL: (dancing and singing) La la la la - OH MY GODARAGHBLEEEEEAUGH!

(All fall apart and run shrieking back into house as almost everyone has just mashed a slug into the ground and now have slug innards in between their toes )

0o0

And there you have it. The SavvyJacks take on London.

0o0

My life is compromised of obsessions at the moment. If you take the time to read this exceptionally great profile, then you will discover the wonders of my obsessions, and the quotes I have borrowed...(cough) STOLEN (cough) from them.

At the moment, my list of 'People I'm Currently Obsessing About'consists of:

1) Johnny Depp. (Words cannot describe how much I love this man. If I ever met him I think I would actually explode.)

2) Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean. (Put it this way - I have five posters of him alone decorating my bedroom walls.)

2) Sawyer from Lost (Bad boys all the way =D)

3) Lister from Red Dwarf (Craig Charles in his Red Dwarf days was, in my opinion, rather wonderful. I'm not quite so enthused by him now in Coronation Street, but he still has that lovely smile, so he still makes me happy when he appears on screen)

4) Sirius Black (Who will always, always, always be in my heart. -poignant moment-)

I often ponder to myself that my perfect boyfriend would be a combination of all of the above. A mixture of Lister and Jack's humour and defiance to the rules, Lister's smile combined with Jack's smile, Johnny's looks, Johnny's deep and intelligent personality, Johnny's voice, Johnny's hands, a touch of Sawyer's 'I hate everyone' attitude...bloody hell that would be one HOT person.

And I do believe that's about it. Well, now I've shared all this vitally important stuff with you, you can read some MORE vitally important stuff!

Quotes from my Kickarse Friends and Family. And some random Other Quotes from places.

1)"? did not walk like a normal person, he had more of a spastic bouncing jive." (A book we read in English. several years ago. Ah t'was a funny day)

2)"I'm me, no-one else has ever been me before, so I can't make any mistakes." (Vicki)

3)"What the hell was that? It sounded like a dead cat!" (Katie)

4) Burning passion (I love you!)... is put into perspective (I don't)

5) Even if you are on the right track you aren't going to get anywhere by just sitting there. Or eventually you'll get run over. By other people on the right track.

6) In order to die, you have to live a little first.

7) A friend would bail you out of jail. A best friend would be sitting right in the cell next to you saying: "That was bloody awesome!"

8) In an insane world, a sane man must appear... insane. (Aliens 3)

9)"Get away from her you BITCH!" (Aliens)

10) "Aren't y'all going to the Nirvana concert, it's on in two weeks, what y'all the sweaters and everything and you're not going?"

"They're dead."

"Oh. My apologies!" (Some random american person who adressed us in the street. I get the feeling he was trying to wind us up but he failed, failed so miserably...)

11) "It's SO wrong! Its like a mouse humping a pumpkin!" (Vicki)

12) "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Me? Well, I'm making sure my pillow doesn't run away..." (My brother, Wayne.)

13) "No! Don't give up- always question EVERYTHING." (Damian.)

14) "Hey, lets go in here!"
"Kelse? Why are you taking me into a bong shop?"
"No its not! Thats incense!"
"I REALLY don't think thats incense."
"What? But I thought it was -"
"Bongs. Now lets get out of here before someone sees us." (When I accidentally took my friend Vicki into a druggie shop. Although I did wonder why they gave us such weird looks as we came in through the door. Then I looked round and saw the shelves absolutely FILLED with magic mushrooms, those glass things you use to inhale... stuff... we made quite a hasty exit.)

15) "Is your brother hard?"
"No, but he pretends to be. Are you hard?" (An msn convo one of my friends had. She told me about it. I was the one who pointed out how very sick and wrong it sounded.)

16) "I don't like Roundabouts. What's so great about going around in circles?" (Claire, after, well, getting off a roundabout)

17) Me: So what form does Harry's Patronus take?

Vicki: (Gets excited) Heh -spl - no, I mean -

Damian: (In a bored voice) Stag.

Vicki: God DAMN you!

18) "Kelsey, even though that wasn't a very nice thing to do, I still think he threw your book in the bin a 'shag me' kinda way." (The ever-tactful Katie)

19) Nancy: "God, I'm tired. I need some Red Bull. Apparently, it gives you wings." (this was after we stayed up til around four in the morning talking about Jim McGuffin...and if you don't know who he is, then you are almost as pathetic as he is. Which is very, very pathetic.)

20) (Me and Katie, in one of our long, long phone conversations)

Katie: What's that noise?

Me: What noise?

(I tap the phone)

Katie: THAT noise.

Me: Oh, THAT noise.

Katie: Yes, THAT noise. What is it?

Me: ...nothing.

21) (Me and Katie, in one of our long MSN conversations)

Me: We have to come to some agreement. Let's flip a coin.

Katie: OK. Do you have a coin?

Me: Ah, no. Do you?

Katie: I have a euro.

Me: That'll do.

Katie: It doesn't have a head...

Me: Well, just choose which side will be the head.

Katie: I can't.

Me: WHY NOT?

Katie: Because I just dropped it.

Me: (Palm smack)

22) (Me, Vicki, Damian and Daniel all in Pizza Hut, celebrating Damian's birthday.

Me: I'm very sorry I didn't get you a birthday present, Damian.

Damian: Meh.

Waitress: Here's the bill!

Damian: (Looks it over) Damn, I still need 7p!

Me: YES! I can give you THAT as a birthday present! (scrambles excitedly in bag)

Daniel: (beats me to it) Here you go. (Hands over money)

Damian: (looks over money) But...this is 8p!

Daniel: (Smiles indulgently) Yes, you can have the penny because it's your birthday.

23) Carly: "Dinner is envoking me by wafting it's delicious fragrance up the staircase of my life."

24) Nancy (on MSN) : Mrs. brown. you have not lived until you have had mrs brown, geography extrodinaire.

Me:... Reread that!

Nancy: What? What did I do?

Me: Quote: "You have not lived until you have had Mrs Brown"

Nancy: OH GOD!

25) (SCENE: Me and Vicki, bored to the point of hysteria in a free study hour, have fished out a two year old 'Woman's Own' magazine from some drawer somewhere, and are doing the cross word with varied enthralled looks on our faces)

(Me, reading from a crossword) Ok, we need...5 down, a flightless bird. Five letters.

(Both frown puzzeldly at magazine)

(Me) Erm...penguin? No...Ostrich? No...

(Vicki) Oh - oh - I know - a llama!

(Both stare at each other)

(Me) (Melts into puddle of laughter)

26) "Lovely weather we're having. Let's go outside and have a fart." - (Found on a 'Russian diss's website me and Dante found. We both laughed until we cried.)

27) (New Years Party -, Vicki bursts party popper over her mums head)

(Vicki's mum) -covering head- SHIT, Victoria!

28) ME: Too cool for this school!

WAYNE: Too weird for this beard!

30) (Vicki steals Mark's hat) (Puts on said hat)

MARK: (to Miss) Miss, she stole my hat!

VICKI: Wow I look like such a grunger in this hat -

MISS: Take the hat off, Vicki.

VICKI: (enthusiastic Grunge-american voice) Hey Miss - let's go skate-boarding!

MISS: TAKE IT OFF!

31) (A typical arguement from Wayne and Louise...)

Louise: Aragh, why did you do that?!

Wayne: Because you smell.

Louise: What?! I can't believe you said that. Why did I spend all my bonus money on you?

Wayne: -brightly- Because I don't smell?

0o0

WAYNE: Hurry up, I want to use the computer.

ME: But you've been on it all day, dammit.

W: I have not.

ME: Well, you spend at least two thirds of your life on it anyway.

W: The fact that that's true is irrellevant.

0o0

KATIE: How do you live without a full length mirror in your room?

ME: ...I just use the one in my mum's room.

KATIE: But, what do you do if you want to look at yourself in the middle of the night?

0o0

A hysterical MSN convo I once had with Nancy, in which we both studied an old photograph of school teachers and decided on what they were really thinking. And making interesting observations on their appearance)

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

the man dead centre at the top row

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

he has a decidedly thick jaw

Sparrow says:

mr yorkshire man!

Sparrow says:

he DOES

Sparrow says:

he looks like both a farmer, a butcher and a man that would offer you a cup of tea

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

LOL the man to the right from Mikey looks like SHAKESPERE

Sparrow says:

ROLLS ACROSS THE FLOOR

Sparrow says:

SHAKESPEARE!

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

i just noticed a woman with a rectangular head

Sparrow says:

WHAT?

Sparrow says:

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

beside dead-centre thick jaw top row man

Sparrow says:

i did the loudest chortle of all time then

Sparrow says:

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

LOL AT LADY NEXT TO DREAMY

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

she looks DEAD

Sparrow says:

if she had words

Sparrow says:

she looks like she'd be going 'urrrrrrr'

Sparrow says:

Bellatrix (SJ1) says:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That will most probably make no sense, but I did in fact laugh until I nearly died.

0o0

(Johnny Depp at his thank you speech for his 'Best Actor' award)

JD: Thank you so much, I'm just so touched -

PERSON IN AUDIENCE: Take it off!

JD: I will take it off!

AUDIENCE: -goes crazy-

JD: ...Later. For him. -points to beefy security guard-

0o0

SCENE: Sixth form assembly. Everyone quietly listening to Mr Cartwright, Head of Sixth Form, talking about University.

MR C: -reminiscent smile- God, I remember in my Uni days - I used to crawl out of bed, crawl to my lectures, then crawl to the pub and crawl back to bed again...

ME: -whispers to Vicki- Why, did walking go out of fashion?

BOTH OF US: -silently crack up as the below scenario comes into our heads...-

IMAGE: MR C: -crawling determindly along pavement in suit and tie, bag of books on back, getting stared at by everyone walking around him-

VICKI: -doubles over in not-quite-silent hysterics-

MR C: -concerned- Are you quite alright, Victoria?

0o0

SCENE: Year 11 christmas assembly. Everyone in hall quietly listening to our Head of Year speaking about the Nativity, while she has a slideshow displaying Christmassy scenes going on behind her.

HEAD: And then Mary and Joseph came to the Inn. And the Innkeeper, of course, said there was no room...

SLIDESHOW: -shows picture of crazy looking cartoon snowman-

ME: -whispers to Vicki- Is that the Innkeeper?

SNOWMAN: -grins crazily-

BOTH OF US: -repressed laughter-

0o0

(From the Camden Birthday trip)

ALL: -reading badges at a stall-

NANCY: -points to 'I love Drugs!' badge- I might get that one for Sarah.

KELSEY: -looks at wrong badge- Why?! Does she love pussy?

NANCY?!?!?!?!

(The badge I saw said 'I heart Pussy!' on it XD)

0o0

(An idle arguement between me and Wayne)

ME: Bla bla...

W: Shut up.

ME: No - YOU shut up! Maha! Comeback Queen strikes AGAIN!

W: Shut up! Ah - Another brave battle fought by the Last Word Warrior!

0o0

WAYNE: Put on the Cillet Bang rap!

ME: No.

W: -horror- But...but look what it did to the penny test!

(Some time later)

W: Well? Don't you want to see what it did to the penny test?

0o0

"The Bible says, 'judge not, lest ye be judged.' Since I am willing to be judged, I say, 'Judge on, O Mickster'

- Mickey Cohen (L.A Confidential, James Ellroy)

Pirates of the Carribean Quotes

Gillette: This ship cannot be commandeered by two men alone. (looks smug) You'll never make it out of Port Royal.

Jack: Son...(holds up gun) I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. (unclicks safety catch) Savvy?

0o0

Guard: Oy! You! Get away from there! You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate!

Jack: (apologetically takes his hands from ship wheel) I'm sorry, it's such a pretty boat - er... ship.

0o0

Jack: (in the middle of fighting with Will) Who makes all these? (looks pointedly at swords)

Will: I do! (dodges blow from sword) And I practise with them - (strikes at Jack) - three hours a day!

Jack: (peering around wooden beam and looking supremely sexy) You need to get yourself a girl, mate...

0o0

Will: Jack! Where's Elizabeth?

Jack: She's safe. Just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised, and you're going to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really. (Pauses) Except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.

0o0

Jack: (To Norrington) I was rooting for you, mate. (Looks sincere) Remember that. (Turns to walk away, then looks back.) Elizabeth? It would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. (Turns away, looks back again) Will? (Will looks at him) Er...nice hat.

0o0

Pirate: (Holding axe near Will's throat) Say goodbye!

(Signs falls down and flattens pirate)

Will: Goodbye!

Quotes from PotC 2

Jack: You look bloody awful, what are you doung here?

Norrington: You hired me, I can't help it if your standards are lax.

Jack: (glaring at him) You smell funny.

0o0

Jack, talking to the Natives who hold him captive: Ooga booga...ah, incy wincy...shooma looma, rabba dabba...savvy?

0o0

Will: With this dagger I take a promise. I will not rest until I drive this blade into the black heart of Davy Jones!

(Me, Katie, Nancy and Sarah in the cinema) (Palm smack)Oh, God...

Will: I've doomed us all!

(Me, Katie, Nancy and Sarah in the cinema) Oh, GOD...

0o0

"Pirate," Jack complimented her.

0o0

"Pirate," said Jack, with admiration.

0o0

Tia Something-Or-Other: Are you willing to travel to the end of the eart' for Jack Sparrow?

Gibbs: Aye!

Other Pirate: Aye!

Me, Katie, Nancy, Sarah: (tearfully) Aye!

Elizabeth: ...Yes.

Me: (Palm smack) No, it's AYE, not YES, you simpleton!

0o0

Elizabeth: -sits on steps looking meloncholy-

Jack: -sits beside her- My tremendous intuitive understanding of the female creature leads me to belive that you are troubled.

Elizabeth: I just thought I would have been married by now.

-bottom lip trembles-

Liz: I was so ready to be married.

-Pause-

Jack: -offers rum-

0o0

Red Dwarf Quotes (Red Dwarf is another one of my obsessions. I can't help it. Stop looking at me like that.)

18) (After the Cat gets shot through the head in a virtual reality) "Are you alright?" Rimmer asked. The Cat turned his face to Rimmer's and looked at him incredulously. "I've been better," he said. "I have a hole clean through the centre of my head, but on the bright side, I now have somewhere to keep a pool cue if both my hands are full." (Backwards, by the legendary genius Rob Grant)

19) "Why do you want to join the Space Corps?"

Lister thought for a moment. "I want," he said, "to visit strange new worlds, to seek out new life, and new civilizations. To boldly go where no-one has gone before." (Red Dwarf -Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers by Grant Naylor...and if you didn't understand that, then you are very, very deprived.)

20) Lister: "Alright, guys. We're in the middle of space, god knows how many millions of light years away from anywhere, so can someone tell me where the smeg we got this traffic cone?"

The Cat: Grinning It's not a good night if you don't end up with a traffic cone...(Imagine waking up next a traffic cone...actually, I don't wanna)

21) He shrugged, sighed, raised his spurred boot and kicked through the door. A huge shard of wood slashed a gully of flesh six inches up his shin. He stared down at the wound in astonished disbelief, then he launched into the babbled litanyof expletives he reserved exclusively for cursing his own clumsiness. "Stupid smegging farty stupid shitty shit shit smeg fart poo shit..." (This sounds much like me whenever I do something stupid...which is pretty much all the time.)

22) (Krissie walks in)

(Lister sees her) (Drops plate)

KRISSIE: Lister, why didn't you tell me you liked me while I was still alive?

LISTER: (babbling) Because - ah - because I'm stupid, crazy, stupid...

KRISSIE: I wouldn't have gone out with you anyway, though. I just don't like you.

LISTER: (silence)

KRISSIE: So there's not a lot of point in you taking that exam now, is there?

LISTER: There's not a lot of point in me breathing in and out now, if you really want to know.

23) SCENE: All of the Dwarf crew are sitting around, highly drunk, celebrating Kryten's birthday.

RIMMER: (says something about his mum)

KRYTEN: (sadly) ...Mum. I never had a Mum.

LISTER: (meloncholy) Me too.

HOLLY: (even more sadly) I didn't have a Mum either.

RIMMER: Well, you can ALL have mine! Everyone else did.

0o0

Quotes from Lost (Yes, you betcha baby, it's a another one of my obsessions. Which rock, frankly.)

Michael: (whilt floating on a raft, shouting at Swayer, who is flating on a seperate raft) I hate you! This is all your fault!

Sawyer: (sneers) Oh, what are you gonna do? Splash me?

Michael: (Splashes him.)

Sawyer: (is splashed)

0o0

(Charlie playing guiter on the beach)

(Mr Eko) (Runs up) CHARLIE! Have you heard the explosion!

(Charlie) No, but if you hum it I could probably play it...

0o0

(Sawyer tries on glasses. Looks at Hurley.)

Hurley: Dude. Looks like someone steam rolled Harry Potter.

0o0

(Sawyer and Kate playing a drinking game called 'I Never.')

Sawyer: Uh...I never been to Disneyland.

(Kate raises eyebrows)

Sawyer: Oh - that's just sad!

0o0

(Sawyer massaging head due to a pounding headache)

(Kate) Right. Come on. You're going to see Jack.

(Sawyer) (snarling) Oh, do I get a wollypop?

0o0

(Jack) (angry) Stand up.

(Sawyer) Why, you wanna see who's taller?

0o0

(Ana-Lucia) How 'bout you gimme that gun?

(Sawyer) How 'bout I gimme you nothing?

0o0

(Kate) I can't work in this dress!

(Nasty Other Man) Well, fine. You can work naked then.

(Kate) -turns to Sawyer angrily, looking for back-up-

(Sawyer) -looks her up and down- -grins-

(Kate) -raises eyebrows-

(Sawyer) -turns to Man- How dare you.

0o0

Ah, after all that quoting shizz, I feel like doing a bit of fanfiction analysis... :D Goody!

Pairings I Ship:

1) HP - Lily and James.

2) Ron and Hermione (waves 'RHR FOREVER' flag enthusiastically)

3) Sirius and Me (look, it cannot be denied we're meant to be together, savvy?)

4) POTC - Jack and Elizabeth. (Holds 'SPARRABETH PRIDE' banner high)

5) LOST - Sawyer/ Kate

Ah, there will be more to come. In time. I'm always adding things to my profile, so if you were wise, you would come back from time to time and check, savvy?

And read the stories. Always read the stories.

Much love and stuff xxx xxx xxx xxx

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Diametrically Opposed by mony2208 reviews
Lily Evans has always detested the very sight of James Potter & up until fifth year James thought he felt the same way. But circumstances arise that begin to make James look twice at his so-called enemy… & now he can’t seem to get her out of his mind
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 127,991 - Reviews: 929 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 11/22/2010 - Published: 5/30/2003 - Lily Evans P., James P.
The Truth of The Heart by child-of-scorpio reviews
Lily Evans has always, ALWAYS hated James Potter. So when they become Head Boy and Girl, nothing could be worse. But could working with him change Lily’s opinion? Has she been ignoring the truth in her heart all along?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 140,182 - Reviews: 2485 - Favs: 959 - Follows: 833 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 1/21/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P.
In His Eyes by ArgentumRosa reviews
After a bad encounter with some Death Eaters Draco is left with a child to care for. Problem is this child is no ordinary one and there are people after him. Can Draco survive the dangers ? Cn he survive parenting ? Looks like he is going to have to ask H
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 199,058 - Reviews: 1442 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 417 - Updated: 5/27/2008 - Published: 2/21/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Nemo liber est qui corpori servit by MoloxoShoals reviews
In the middle of a forest, Jack and Lizzie run into a spot of bother with some goat-wearing, spear yielding, ferocious looking men. But its safe to assume that more than mad forest-dwellers are playing on Elizabeth's thoughts that day...
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,401 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/28/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Deadly Deception by Delylah reviews
He could not stand being Harry anymore.... He had...never wished so intensely that he could be somebody...anybody...else... Order of the Phoenix, U.S. edition, page 822. Sometimes the best place to hide is in plain sight. An AU year 6 fic, started preHBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 82,962 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 9/24/2007 - Published: 10/8/2003 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Rain by Luna Rapunzel reviews
He's leaning against the statue of Boris the Bewildered with a practiced sort of ease that reminds you distinctly of Sirius, his hands stuck in the pockets of his robes. "I like you, Narcissa," he says, and you hate the way your name sounds on his lips.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 719 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 21 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Narcissa M., Fabian P. - Complete
Infuriating Companions by tanith75 reviews
JE postAWE AU. While Jack waits for Elizabeth to deliver their child, he and Norrington pass the time drinking, threatening and snarking. But how long will they have to wait and what will be revealed while they do. The second oneshot in my series.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,650 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/14/2007 - Published: 5/15/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S.
Four Friends and One Freaky Book by sirius is on my team reviews
What happens when four teenagers are thrown into a muggle home to read their own destinies in novel form? You've never seen Lily so frightening, Sirius so bizarre, James so triumphant, or Remus so wordy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,071 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 5/16/2007 - Published: 11/9/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Girl from Mars by Aiko'sNight-Patrol reviews
It could be said that Lily Evans was a believer. She believed in Perfection. She believed in Soulmates. She believed that one day she would fall in love, and her world would fall apart. Unfortunately for Lily Evans, fate had other ideas....
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 28,835 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/24/2007 - Published: 6/7/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P.
The Muggle Manner by freakinwinky reviews
The Man seemed intent on being extremely difficult to shop for... A Christmas romp involving Remus, Tonks, Muggle Popcorn, Previously untested potions, and the trials and tribulations of begining a Romance. RT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,354 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/28/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - N. Tonks, Remus L.
101 Responses To 'Go Out With Me, Evans' by Dudette13 reviews
All the way from 'No' to 'Yes', with 99 others in between. Because we all know that Lily would've liked to be original from time to time... There should be a question mark behind 'Evans'... R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,692 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 520 - Follows: 58 - Published: 12/6/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
School Days by XMiloXloveX reviews
What happens when they are in high school? Sawyer is having trouble can anyone help him? Kate is lonely after something happens. Jate, Sana, Shayid, and chaire. Maybe more. I'm really bad at this, so you'll have to find out for yourselves rated for saftey
Lost - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,600 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/19/2006 - Published: 7/27/2006
A Loose Woman by compte.ferme reviews
The rum. The sand. The sea. Elizabeth Swann. And Captain Jack Sparrow. Sparrabeth, post AWE.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,125 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/10/2006 - Complete
Harry Potter: The 'Boy' Who Lived by SafirePhoenix reviews
An alternate version of Harry's first year at Hogwarts, but with a semi-unique twist. Harry Potter, the 'boy' who lived, is actually a girl! Dumbledore is the only one in the know, and he would like to keep it that way. But since when do secrets in the Wizarding World ever remain so? COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 60,711 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 477 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 10/9/2006 - Published: 3/7/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Where the Dead Walk by Mystic Catface reviews
Sirius has gone through the veil, but everything is not what it seems. In the living world, Harry's been kidnapped and what are the consequences of Voldemort's return to power? Now complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,686 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/18/2006 - Published: 8/19/2003 - Complete
Tread Softly by Dius Corvus reviews
“I am Jonathan Frost. I was Voldemort and Tom Riddle. I was also Harry Potter.” After the final confrontation with Voldemort, Harry finds himself changed and thrown back into the time of the Marauders and Severus Snape. SSHP COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 182,436 - Reviews: 1420 - Favs: 2,099 - Follows: 520 - Updated: 7/31/2006 - Published: 5/3/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Mischief Managed Romanced by MrsTater reviews
How far will a prank war go? LupinTonks
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,080 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/21/2006 - Published: 7/17/2006 - N. Tonks, Remus L. - Complete
It Drips by unearthing reviews
Pansy sighed, she pushed her hair back, brushing it with her fingers. “Why? I thought the Gryffindor was incapable of such an act.” She gestures with a hand. “Killing someone! Tsk, tsk.. The war is over Hermione.”[Dhr,] [Hhr.]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,501 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/14/2006 - Published: 6/1/2006 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Her Gift , Her Curse by LivingDreams reviews
She has a gift, which is her curse, which is slowly destroying her. And the day it almost did destroy her, he came along. JL – seventh year. AU. And i present to you... Chp 10!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 41,507 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 4/4/2006 - Published: 6/6/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P.
The Black Chronicles: Sirius' Story by Mirunika reviews
The story realtes Sirius' life starting from Godrics Hollow and ending with the events at the end of OotP. It's written in the first person, from Sirius' point of view. EDIT: I'm sorry to say I shall no longer work to finish this story. It stops here.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,663 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/4/2006 - Published: 9/10/2004 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
Wonderboy by redtiger reviews
SEQUEL UP!PreHPBWe all know the Golden Trio and their lives in Gryffindor but what about those slytherins? Surely, Draco wasn't alone. A story of one of slytherin's own and the chain of events that caused her to fall into the same world as the boy wonder
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 91,749 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 12/13/2005 - Published: 2/25/2005 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
Behold the Turtle by GetOutOfMyHead reviews
Pretty much anything I find amusing will find it's way into the story. Naked leprechauns, donkeys, Shrek, anything. I may even dedicate chapters to nice people. Chapter 1 is dedicated to ME! R&R please!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,897 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/27/2005 - Published: 6/18/2005
Dark Secrets by Elisabeth Potter reviews
!To be rewritten as sequel to Behind the Prankster's Mask! After his fifth year, Harry's summer is downright depressing, but when Remus lets him sort through Sirius's things he makes a discovery that could change his whole life.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,815 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 10/10/2005 - Published: 6/6/2005 - Harry P.
Priori Incantatem by fellytone reviews
Can James Potter, Marauder and troublemaker extraordinaire, ever convince Lily Evans, Prefect and good girl, that they were meant to be? Now complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 64 - Words: 306,215 - Reviews: 4602 - Favs: 2,850 - Follows: 516 - Updated: 8/7/2005 - Published: 10/1/2003 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Living with Danger by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
AU, first in the main Dangerverse series, now complete. Lone wolf. Dream-seer. Bright child. Scarred child. Singer. Prisoner. Dancer child. Dragon child. Eight semi-ordinary people. One extraordinary family, and how they became one. Pre-Hogwarts story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 222,438 - Reviews: 3335 - Favs: 2,891 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 3/12/2005 - Published: 10/25/2004 - Complete
A Day Without Sunshine is Like, Night by From the Silent Planet reviews
And other intellectual (hah) musings of Manic Marauders. Proving yet again that nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool. Chapter six is up!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,211 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/10/2005 - Published: 5/20/2004 - Sirius B., James P.
Hurt Me by seeing green reviews
Draco has discovered a dirty little secret about squeakyclean Hermione. Using it to his advantage, he makes an offer she can’t refuse. Finished! revised ch. 7
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,828 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 2/21/2005 - Published: 5/2/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Truths by Neurotica reviews
Complete and Revised.AU.After an odd sighting on the full moon, Remus begins to realize his what he's believed for five years isn't quite accurate. With a little help from Dumbledore, Sirius is set free and the Marauders attempt to raise Harry. Pre-DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 100,574 - Reviews: 954 - Favs: 1,138 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 1/27/2005 - Published: 11/10/2004 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Tears of Flame: From the Ashes by Lily Itriwi reviews
Lily is badly scarred after abuse from her father. Hogwarts is a new start for her, but things never seem to go her way. She's forbidden from doing magic, bullied and belittled by her peers - will they ever see there's more to Lily than even she knows?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 31,119 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/14/2005 - Published: 11/27/2002 - Lily Evans P., James P.
I'd Kill You If You Weren't Already Dead by Backroads reviews
After helping defeat Voldemort, Ron finds himself not only dead, but a ghost. Worse, his brother Percy had died unbeknownst to the family a year earlier. Worse still, they've been sentenced to spend the next century together. Will they survive?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 122,462 - Reviews: 865 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/27/2004 - Published: 4/6/2004 - Ron W., Percy W. - Complete
Private Thoughts by CrazyGirl47 reviews
Harry often wondered if Snape could read minds... well, the answer is yes. Snape gets bored while teaching potions and decides to read the private thoughts of some of his students. Written preOotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 0 - Reviews: 586 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 11/19/2004 - Published: 1/13/2003 - Severus S., Hermione G.
The Line Between Love and Hate by Cajun Rogue reviews
Harry is caught somewhere between of the girl who is perfect and the girl who is perfect for him. Liz is beautiful and sweet--the perfect girl and Lexi has attitude, spunk, and ticks Harry off to no end--the girl who is perfect for him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 47,223 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/14/2004 - Published: 12/27/2003 - Harry P.
Complaints of a stupid bird commonly known as Hedw by bobX reviews
Just like the title says. Has anyone ever asked what Hedwig wanted? Well? Did they? PS. Please Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,948 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 11/4/2004 - Published: 9/8/2004
Too Close For Comfort by Rowan Brierbrook reviews
DMHG relationship in later chapters Hermione's POV when the two teens are chosen to be head boy and girl, they also find out that they must share a room (and a bed) and be kind to one another on threat of losing their position.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,727 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/13/2004 - Published: 7/21/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Staggeringly Beautiful by Miss Prongs reviews
James falls into a pit of depair after finally realising the love of his life, Lily Evans, does not feel the same way. Will his friend Remus and Sirius be able to save him before he turns on them? (Mild slash. Not with James, though.) Edited, and complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 36,043 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/1/2004 - Published: 7/5/2004 - James P., James P. - Complete
Out of Blood and Flesh by Rockabilly reviews
Ali Lestranges' parents disappeared when she was just two years old, and good riddence. She doesn't want anyone at Hogwarts finding out about them. But someone already knows, a certain Malfoy someone, and nothings to stop him blabbing..
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,797 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 9/28/2004 - Published: 9/1/2004
1: Pairings from a Hat by Amerikus reviews
Random names taken from a hat and made pairings of. Chapter four: Neville and Luna bump into each other in Hogsmeade and Neville asks Luna out - but neither of them knows the other's name until it's too late.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,672 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/14/2004 - Published: 7/13/2004 - Severus S.
Blame It On My Youth by Band Candy68 reviews
Juliana Greenwald has been in love with Ron Weasley ever since the first time she saw him. Unfortunately, Ron has set his eyes on someone else. But when Juliana searches for her niche, something happens that could change his mind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,749 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 8/4/2004 - Published: 7/22/2004 - Ron W.
The Portrait by Rae Roberts reviews
Severus Snape tries to cope with a not-so-inanimate object. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 17,345 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/25/2004 - Published: 6/30/2004 - Severus S. - Complete
Accidentally in Love by The Hallowed Cat reviews
Sirius Black is an abomination, a homosexual, and he’s in love with one of his best friends. With rumours abounding, Sirius is going to need a bit more than luck to pull through. SBRL MWPP-era.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,910 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/21/2004 - Published: 7/12/2004 - Sirius B., Remus L.
Harry's New Family by CrazyGirl47 reviews
Sirius Black is now Harry's legal guardian. Life is great... until a woman shows up on their doorstep and drops off Sirius's longlost daughter, throwing their lives into chaos.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,406 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 7/2/2004 - Published: 2/2/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Sheer Stupidity by Duchess of Awesome reviews
A friend of the Marauder's and Co. reflects on the stupidest thing they ever did.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,956 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 6/11/2004 - Published: 6/8/2004
Do These Memory Charms Ever Cause Brain Damage? by Backroads reviews
Percy is going to work undercover for the Order. Now all he and Arthur have to do is stage a fight for the rest of the family. How hard can it be?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,636 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/6/2004 - Percy W., Arthur W. - Complete
Shrunken Ears and Magnified Rumors by Dear Aunt Elladora reviews
Nymphadora Tonks, Bill Weasley, and Kingsley Shackbolt in their sixth year. The day of a dance entails many things - homework plans cancelled, the apperance of Barbie and Skipper equals, pretty girls, rose bushes and shrunken ears. Random? Not after this
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,888 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/2/2004 - N. Tonks
As Told by Padfoot by Aloha Kitty reviews
Ever wanted to know Sirius's "SOB" story? What happened during 7th year? Why was it his fault James and Lily got together? :) Guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back! :) Chapter 8! now up!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,183 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/30/2004 - Published: 9/2/2003 - Sirius B.
The Glittering Masquerade by aks100 reviews
Lily and James have to organise a christmas ball, only thing is it's a masked ball. Lily meets someone at the ball and gets to know the boy behind the mask...pre HBP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 42,004 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/22/2004 - Published: 4/6/2004 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Running by Samara-Morgan-101 reviews
In the summer after Ootp. Harry ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time and is blamed for a murder. he runs away from everyone and everything and meets a girl.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,613 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/5/2004 - Published: 12/27/2003 - Harry P.
Moth to Flame by kface reviews
Ginny has been dreaming, but she can never remember what of when she awakes. Desperately she pulls together facts about her nighttime lover, but will she be happy when she makes her conclusion? ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,830 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/13/2003 - Ginny W., Voldemort - Complete
Kareoke Strikes Again by Merle Charton reviews
XD Another kareoke fic. Marauders' era. R&R ^_^
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,104 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/17/2002 - Published: 5/17/2002
Twister: Wizard's Style by Ibex's Lyre reviews
It's not what you think it is...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,763 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/15/2002 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Your Black Heart reviews
Sirius Black. Hated by some, adored by others. He's insubordinate, rude, legendary for never saying sorry, and with memories of a home life that still haunt him to this day. Stear clear of him, but even if you do, I can't guarantee he'll leave you alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 29,080 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 7/23/2006 - Sirius B.
Leave Me Dreaming reviews
Jack's in delirious denial.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,477 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Go On, Scream, You'll Feel Better For It reviews
Trauma with the Marauders. James has some issues over the toilet roll, Sirius has lost something dear to him, and Remus wants to know what the devil Sirius is doing to his sock drawer...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/19/2008 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
I Prefer You When You're Inebriated reviews
Based in P1. On that Godforsaken island, what exactly did Elizabeth do in the interval between Jack passing out due to the hopelessly high consumption of alcohol and the burning of all the food, the shade, the rum? Sparrabeth.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,183 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Elizabeth S., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
The Devil's Dancefloor reviews
Elizabeth is not the same person Will Turner left behind on an island five years ago...A response to ectofralamazoo's fic challenge.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,201 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
Pretty Eyed, Pirate Smile reviews
In that moment, you were free. I have never desired anything more than I desire freedom.' In a moment of stillness, Jack thinks about Elizabeth.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/28/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
You Had to Be There reviews
It was just one moment. Just one, bored moment when he had nothing better to do. How was HE to know that it would end with Lily Evans's wand dangling from the realms of her cute, gorgeous, perfect right nostril...?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,773 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/2/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Torn reviews
Putting you into the mind of Elizabeth as she kisses Jack one last time.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/16/2007 - Complete
Advice from Miss Swann reviews
Pirate! He’s a thieving, cheating Pirate! I love Will. Me and Will fit neatly together, like two estranged pieces of the same puzzle...so why, for the love of Mary, can I not get Jack Sparrow out of my head?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,418 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/11/2006 - Complete
Tell me it's not True reviews
The night Lily and James died, Sirius Black's world fell apart. His best friend: dead, his godson: taken away from him. What is there left to fight for? Peter, of course. One shot. Grated.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,536 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/10/2006 - Published: 7/2/2005 - Sirius B., Rubeus H. - Complete
Oh, the Wailings Of a Red Headed Invisible Girl! reviews
Well, shock horror, Ginny's nightmare has finally been realised, and she's not too happy about it. Stunned as Hermione starts dating the Love Of Her Life, she resorts to compl-er- confiding to her diary. Please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,563 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/3/2005 - Published: 10/9/2004 - Ginny W.
Twisted Perfection reviews
Remus has always tried to be honest, but with this he can never be truthful about. His secret is a deadly curse they could surely never understand. Every single month he must lie to his friends, put on a happy face to the world...but is it working? G-rate
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 48,693 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/3/2005 - Published: 1/2/2005 - Remus L.
Something Unpredictable reviews
James finally has what he has been waiting a lifetime for: Lily. Yet every time he looks at her he knows something isn't quite right, and the feeling is driving him crazy. Can he really, truely have the girl of his dreams? One shot. Grated.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/18/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Aged Seven and a Half reviews
The Marauders at aged seven, going to bed in their seperate 'worlds'. A look at how different their lives really are.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,509 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/10/2005
Any Regrets? reviews
Years after being rescued, Jack attempts to find peace in a bar. Why will looking at a map dredge up such painful memories, and what do Samneric have to do with it? Summary G rated.
Lord of the Flies - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,371 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/7/2005
Of Dark and Light, Where the Wind Never Blows reviews
Kay, daughter of Hermione Granger has never known her real father. She doesn't fit with her easy going mother, or her dopey step-dad, Ron. And she isn't exactly your average Gryffindor either. When she goes to Hogwarts, she will never fit in- or will she?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Suspense - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,162 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/30/2004 - Published: 6/27/2004 - Hermione G.