Curtis Wildcat
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Joined 04-02-01, id: 55074, Profile Updated: 11-08-22
Author has written 15 stories for Slayers, Tenchi Muyo, Anime X-overs, Mega Man, Pokémon, Garfield, Megas XLR, Touhou Project, My Little Pony, and X-overs.

Hi, this is Curtis Wildcat: churning out fanfics that make no sense since 1999.

Fanfictional interests: While I prefer Touhou and MLP related stuff, I'll read most anything that isn't an insult to my tastes.

Television interests: Pokemon, formerly-local professional sports games (Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings). There's very little, if anything, that's actually good on TV nowadays; and since I have a 40-hour work week, I can't stick around the house and find out where it is.

Favorite movies: Big Jake, Star Wars: Episode IV, The Inspector General, Support Your Local Sheriff!, Duck Soup, The Rookie. Big Jake in particular is one of the few movies where I can just sit and watch the whole thing without feeling that I have to leave for some reason or another.

Favorite novel: Star Wars: Death Star.


I used to be a Michigan man (raised, not born). I spent a little over two decades of my life in Dearborn Heights, so you can imagine that it was a bit of a shock for me when I moved to Kansas in 2007. I spent 13 of those years dealing with jerks who loved to take advantage of my short temper, a bad trait of mine that I've had to force back under control. (Why they focused on that and not my obesity, I'll never understand.)

I work 40 hours a week as a title researcher and I'm easily distracted by a multitude of stuff, so I apologize for my complete lack of updates.

No matter how much life gets me down, I refuse to quit.

And I like cats, too. Kinda goes without saying.


Wildcat's Corner -- Created to house Author's Notes, character profiles, and other miscellaneous information on my stories.


(11-8-2022) I was going to post "Manehattan's Lone Guardian" here, but I think you're better off just reading it at Fimfiction. Just do a search with my name and that story, and you should find it.

(04-17-2021) A bit belated, but "What Insertion?" is now cancelled. Also, I'm posting "Zero Context: Taking Out the Trash", a story utilizing characters from a soon-to-be-defunct message board that I hung out at for thirteen years.


"MegaSuika XLR", by Spectrum9001. Commissioned by RandomNumbers523156. My thanks to him. :D

"Patchouli Relaxing and Reading", by RemyFive. Commissioned by me. Based on her segment in MiP.

Monsters In Paradise music playlist -- This is about as close as I can get to an actual soundtrack for MiP. Consists of appropriate music found throughout Youtube.

FoUR, as posted at DeviantArt.

Fantasy Of Utter Ridiculousness Playlist -- An unofficial soundtrack for FoUR. More information on the playlist is at Wildcat's Corner, the link above.

Gormless Playlist -- Again, appropriate music to listen to for the story in question.


Monsters In Paradise: On hiatus. Chapter Nine is currently stalled, and I don't feel like writing anything for it at the present time.

Boredom Breakage: A Vacuum in Feline Form: On hiatus as ideas warrant.

Zero Context - Taking Out the Trash: Technically it's complete, just not here at FF Dot Net. I'll be posting the rest of the story as time goes by. Maybe. I dunno.


None at this time. Life's too much of a hassle at present to focus on writing something suitable for posting here.


I like old video games (ex. Apogee's Commander Keen and Konami's Blades of Steel). I draw stuff occasionally. I also like to go bowling and play basketball, although I haven't been able to do either in the past year or so. I like animals, and a lot of the ones I've made up were inspired by Sonic the Hedgehog and the Superfriends (to be elaborated on below). Most of the stuff I watch on TV revolves around cartoons and sports, when I manage to watch anything at all.


I was born in the 80s, but I'm a child of the 90s. I grew up with the Super Mario Bros. and the NES, so much so that my older brother got rid of them to keep me from wasting all my free time. I figure I watched at least half of the cartoons that the 90s (and late 80s, to a lesser extent) had to offer me, from The Adventures of T-Rex and the Super Mario Bros. Super Show to Gargoyles and The Powerpuff Girls. The 90s also introduced me to the Samurai Pizza Cats and Sailor Moon, shows that I credit for leading me to the Internet.

Throughout that span of time, I'd write stories for my own personal amusement. I liked cats a lot, and I liked to picture them walking around and talking like humans. After playing Sonic the Hedgehog and watching stuff on Cartoon Network, I'd started picturing them as superheroes. I didn't write for anyone else's approval; I wrote because I wanted to make myself laugh. I liked being lost in my own little world, where flying cats, sarcastic foxes and prankster wolves fought with each other as much as they fought the bad guys. My imagination led to the creation of Curtis Cat (later Curtis Wildcat), whose mug now serves as my avatar for this site.

(A minor side note is that I was tested for autism in the early 90s, which didn't pan out. My mother thinks it more likely that I have Asperger's Syndrome instead, and I'm starting to agree with her.)

I wrote stuff that would qualify as pure crack were it to be posted on the Internet (be thankful that very little of the things I've written in the 90s have seen the light of day): Simba and Nala from The Lion King joining a superhero team, a Super Star Destroyer getting blown up by dynamite as it prepared to destroy Earth, the Sailor Scouts fighting against my team of felinoids in the old Pontiac Silverdome, stuff of that nature. Little of it would make sense to anyone were they to read it, and looking back it all looks rather strange to me now. But I liked doing it; that's what's important.

And now here I am as a guy right around my life's halfway point. Most of my salary gets spent on medicine and health insurance; I've been diagnosed with some illness or another; and every day the world with its crime, worldwide violence, and astounding feats of human stupidity continue to make me depressed. One day, I decided: "No. Absolutely not. If this is what being an adult is like, forget this. If the future's going to take me, it better be prepared to face the tennis racket of DOOM." If I knew what my life was going to be like, I would've tried to enjoy my childhood a lot more. And now that there's no turning back, I will immerse myself in my formative years once again.

I will write stuff that makes you say "What?", and I will make you question my train of thought. I will make you close your eyes and picture absurd situations. You will see me twist logic and common sense on its head. I will leave science to those better equipped to understand it, and focus on the fantasies and humor of my childhood. I will write to entertain myself, first and foremost; and if I've made even one person laugh, that's good enough for me.

I have to play by life's rules. Curtis Wildcat has no such restrictions, and I aim to keep it that way.


What Insertion? and everything before it is of significantly lower quality. I thought it was a good idea writing them at the time, but looking back on them now I'm embarrassed to have that stuff up there. Read at your own risk.

I cannot write dramatic scenes, dreary depressing stuff, nor anything close to a mystery. I can't write hot-blooded action scenes, my conscience quails in the face of intense violence, and the romantic sort of love escapes me. What I can do, however, is make people laugh; after all, I am here to make life just a little more surreal.

Ciao mein, everyone, and enjoy.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

This Bites! by Xomniac reviews
Sea Kings, sea-sickness, sunburns, a 95% genocidal Navy and more than a million and one other assorted ways to die. It's official: Being inserted into an anime sucks ass... Buuut I guess it could be worse. I mean, look on the bright side: At least I'm sailing with the future king of the pirates. (Self-Insert) [COMPLETE... FOR NOW]
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 99 - Words: 2,002,288 - Reviews: 9954 - Favs: 10,991 - Follows: 10,209 - Updated: 4/17 - Published: 9/19/2015 - Luffy, Tashigi, OC - Complete
Don't Mess With the Best by l OmegaInfinity l reviews
Security Breach Fic - This was getting ridiculous. Five animatronics in the Pizzaplex, and not one of them could catch a single child? Roxanne was going to lose it if something didn't change quickly. Luckily, she just managed to find him. Perfect! Wait, why is he already running? Why is he bleeding? Who... who's the lady with the bunny costume and bloody knife?
Five Nights at Freddy´s - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,411 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 655 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 8/18/2023 - Published: 12/23/2021 - Vanny/Reluctant Follower, Roxanne Wolf, Montgomery Gator, Gregory - Complete
Plan B by The Rogue Wolf reviews
Circumstances in the Pizzaplex never gave Gregory the chance to save Freddy's friends. What if they had? Things will turn out differently when he and Freddy find the means to undo Vanny's hacking, but that won't make everything easier...
Five Nights at Freddy´s - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,354 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 244 - Updated: 1/26/2022 - Published: 1/20/2022 - Glamrock Freddy, Glamrock Chica, Roxanne Wolf, Gregory - Complete
Gensokyo my Beloved by Fonzi the Survivalist reviews
It's late spring, year 125 in Gensokyo when a mass spiriting-away of outsiders takes place. The Hakurei shrine maiden thinks this is just a minor incident, easy to resolve. But is it...?
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 71 - Words: 734,405 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 188 - Updated: 11/18/2020 - Published: 1/11/2012 - OC
The Chords of Paradise by Zap797 reviews
When a young man tries to get a job on his travels, he ends up getting thrown into something he never expected that was possible! With only his trusty guitar by his side, he tries to get by in this new world the only way he knows how: Keep moving forward with a song at hand!
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 270,869 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 501 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 8/17/2020 - Published: 6/22/2012 - [Alice M., OC] Mystia L. - Complete
Umino Iruka and the Will of Fire by Leicontis reviews
"The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world." Some would say that Hogwarts is the wrong place for Umino Iruka, and he's about to find out. With new students, he hopes to light the Will of Fire in this new world while new dangers lurk in the darkness. No overpowered ninjas running roughshod over the Potterverse in this fic! Mentor!Iruka, Gen fic
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 91 - Words: 362,464 - Reviews: 953 - Favs: 1,296 - Follows: 1,247 - Updated: 4/18/2020 - Published: 5/21/2017 - Iruka U. - Complete
Friendships of Sorrow by Sgamer82 reviews
A series of One-Shots featuring Ai Haibara interacting with other characters in a one-on-one situation. Chapter 1 features a sleepover with Ayumi. Chapters 2 and 3 star Ran as she tries to understand Ai better. Chapter 4 has Ai spend and afternoon spreading mischief with Shinichi's mother, Yukiko. In part 5, Haibara does a favor for Genta.
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,722 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 7/16/2017 - Published: 11/4/2004 - Ran M., Genta K., Ai Haibara/Shiho M., Yukiko K.
A Sea of Stars by Noatun reviews
Lina Inverse just can't catch a break! A few months after the defeat and banishment of Dark Star, just when Lina thought she was in luck, a mishap at the Temple of Chronos leaves the Slayers stranded in another world. The group is joined by Luke and Milina as they pursue their goals and dreams on the Grand Line. Act 1 completed.
Crossover - Slayers & One Piece - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 110,671 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 7/31/2016 - Published: 11/19/2014 - Amelia S., Zelgadiss G., Gourry G., Lina I.
Universes' Finest by Game2002 reviews
Several of the girls from Gensokyo find themselves in what appears to be the outside world, but since when is the outside full of costumed superheroes and supervillains? This is the story I've been building up all this time.
Crossover - DC Superheroes & Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 197,109 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 7/6/2014 - Published: 9/20/2013 - Complete
Rise of the Chosen by Ainrhyr reviews
Aile was just an ordinary transporter, until she got chosen to wield the legendary Biometal Model X she has to fight, just to protect her friends, her beliefs, her sanity, and her life against a force dead-set on the destruction of everything.
Mega Man - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 128,771 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 2/15/2014 - Published: 4/20/2008 - Aile, X, Zero
Living Fantasy by Myst Eternally reviews
"One day, I just woke up. And I realized. I don't want this life. I want another chance. A petulant, selfish wish. But it is a wish. My wish."
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 80,723 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 12/17/2013 - Published: 10/25/2012
Average Joe in Bullet Hell by Magnificent Sasquatch reviews
Follow the misadventures of a shameless semi-self-insert as he attempts to make heads or tails of this new crazy world and its even crazier inhabitants! There is fantabulous adventure to be had!
Touhou Project - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 181,601 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 5/13/2012 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Utsuho R.
Escape by Phantom SunsSong reviews
I never wanted to be captured. Ever. As hard as life in the wild was, the thought of allowing myself to be captured never once crossed my mind. Crossover with Fullmetal Alchemist. Abandoned until further notice.
Crossover - Pokémon & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 17 - Words: 55,219 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 7/13/2011 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Alphonse E.
Zero:The soul of a hero by Archaon reviews
MMZ,MMX elements. Starting just before the end of the Elf wars, this story includes the rise and corruption of Neo Arcadia, the awakening of Zero and the fate of everybody else, old and new. Novelization of the Zero series. Reaching the giant mech soon!
Mega Man - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 240,565 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 5/10/2011 - Published: 4/3/2005 - Zero
A Ralts in Moonlight by Usagi-Hasano reviews
RanmaPokemon: Jusenkyo's sense of humor can be odd at times, and this odd humor, as par for the course, chooses Ranma. Now, changed and far from the place he knew, Ranma must learn about his new abilities and adapt.
Ranma - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 62,652 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 510 - Updated: 1/15/2009 - Published: 12/2/2007
The Samurai Stalker by Libbets97 reviews
REVAMPED! The Cats have a blackout at the Pizza Parlour, just after Big Al tells them a number of people have gone missing in town. Is it a killer? Or is the director trying to cut the budget on cameos?
Samurai Pizza Cats - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,351 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/18/2002 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Manehattan's Lone Guardian
"This land is as completely alien to me as I am to its residents. If I can't return home then I'll have to figure out how to adapt to its environs, but my time and options are running out quickly. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm getting desperate." A damaged Fairy Leviathan is trapped in Equestria following Omega's destruction.
Crossover - Mega Man & My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,938 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/23/2021 - Fairy Leviathan, OC
Zero Context: Taking Out the Trash
A collection of beings who vary in background, appearance and species form an alliance to save a mutual friend and/or acquaintance from a marriage she should not have gotten herself into. In a land where the impossible is possible, zero context is good context. Inspired by the Ice Hunters arc of Xomniac and the Cross-Brain's "This Bites!". Uses characters from a now-defunct board.
X-overs - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,156 - Updated: 5/22/2021 - Published: 4/17/2021
What Insertion? reviews
Inuyasha, Phibrizzo, and a collegian have been bound together by the Shikon no Tama, for better or for worse. Their final destination will show that not only is there more to the world than just the crossovers and the chaos, but that even the most unlikely allies can pull off the impossible. THIS STORY IS NOW OFFICIALLY CANCELLED. Please see the most recent chapter for details.
Crossover - Anime X-overs & Slayers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 256,260 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 8/14/2020 - Published: 4/19/2005 - Phibrizo, Inuyasha, OC
Gormless reviews
EG-verse. Warning: contains self-insertion, OCs, and idiots. Perspective is a funny thing. We know what Canterlot High is like for those that are smart and capable. What is it like for someone who is neither? And how would he fare during a time when Sunset Shimmer rules the place in all but name? Set one year prior to the events of the movies.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,631 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/10/2019 - Published: 3/31/2018 - Fluttershy, Sunset Shimmer, OC
Fantasy of Utter Ridiculousness reviews
Not long after the Glorft's attempt to smash the Moon into the Earth, a mishap involving the Lunarians drops Coop and the others into Gensokyo. Buckle up, people; it's going to be a weird trip. ANNOUNCEMENT: Minor revisions made to the original story, and two Deleted Scenes have been posted. NOW the story's complete.
Crossover - Megas XLR & Touhou Project - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 65,255 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 10/24/2016 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Suika I. - Complete
Monsters In Paradise reviews
Odd creatures are showing up around Gensokyo, bypassing the Hakurei Barrier completely. As these creatures interact with the residents in various ways, Yukari goes on a cross-reality trip to solve this mystery, seek a means of getting them home, and get reacquainted with a magnificent world. UPDATE: See my profile for an important announcement.
Crossover - Pokémon & Touhou Project - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 91,895 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 6/11/2014 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Ninetales/Kyukon, Yukari Y.
Boredom Breakage: A Vacuum In Feline Form reviews
A sequel to Boredom Breakage. Some time after their initial meeting, the competition between Garfield and Yukari continues. Once it concludes, who knows what will happen?
Crossover - Garfield & Touhou Project - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,942 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/8/2013 - Published: 1/15/2012 - Garfield, Yukari Y.
Patchwork Quilt reviews
The Great Unmoving Library ruminates a bit on her interactions with the Mansion's residents and Marisa.
Touhou Project - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/20/2012 - Patchouli K. - Complete
Boredom Breakage reviews
Yukari discovers something interesting while on a brief excursion to the outside world. Or someone, rather.
Crossover - Garfield & Touhou Project - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,813 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/2/2011 - Garfield, Yukari Y. - Complete
What Insertion? Case File: Raging Waves reviews
A What Insertion? side story. Dolphin's transition from mazoku lord to Pokémon trainer and performer did not come easily. How did she adapt to a modernized world and to the changes made to herself?
Crossover - Pokémon & Slayers - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,451 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/29/2011 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Misty/Kasumi, Deep Sea Dolphin
The Patient Type reviews
What happens when you use every evolution stone on a Pokemon at once? Team Galactic wants to find out, but this may not be a smart thing to do with their time.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,809 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Complete
The Guardian's Trial reviews
Takes place during MMZ 2. Before Leviathan can engage in battle against Zero, an unexpected package arrives for her at the Antarctic base. What is it, and what sort of effect does it have on her?
Mega Man - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,955 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Complete
This is Weird! reviews
More things are happening in Part Eight than can be listed here. Basically, what CAN be said is: mazoku, or not?
Slayers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,149 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/29/2005 - Published: 2/5/2003
The Great Mysteries of Life reviews
When you're up late at night, your mind tends to wander. This is true with Washu, who is contemplating a mystery that boggles even herself.
Tenchi Muyo - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,413 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 8/27/2003 - Published: 6/26/2003 - Complete
Earth to Phibrizzo, Come In
You know how your mind can be messed with while you're dreaming. This story is an example of how MY mind was messed with recently.
Slayers - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,610 - Published: 4/25/2003 - Complete