20, male, a bit of an edgy contrarian asshole, unironically considers DaDaism a lifestyle, was coerced into reading the "classics", hates them all with an unhealthy passion.

Writes esoteric furry fanfiction, can hardly go for more than a chapter without mentioning the 4th dimension.

In other words, I tend to try and avoid certain tropes, to such a degree that I have shown multiple characters defecating onscreen. So if you like weird shit, surrealism in general, or otherwise cannot choose between worshiping Cthulhu or our holy lord and savior Peanut (may all our necks be snapped) then keep reading.

As I write this, it's a beautiful late spring day. My window is open, and the ceiling fan is wooshing quietly above me. My window is open, and someone is blasting dramatic pop music outside.

The world is trembling in fear of an ongoing pandemic, and little children are playing in the street. Anyway, how are you holding up?

Once upon a time I poked around here a bit back in March of 2014. I was in my early teens, and life was just, Idunno, simpler back then. It really wasn't, I mean I knew a guy in high school who dressed up as Ebola for Halloween that year (Gas mask, face shield, hazmat suit, the works), and the geopolitical clusterfuck that is the middle east was still raging, as it arguably has for the last century.

But at least there were no demons in my head. At least my granddad could say "I love you.", and I'd believe him. They say ignorance is bliss, and frankly I'm starting to see what they mean. But if not politics, war, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, or even the Ice Capades, as Carlin so famously lamented, then what exactly was I ignorant of back then?

Read my stories and find out.

C'mon, you didn't think I'd just tell you, right? HA HA! NO! Actually saying what you mean is for uneducated plebians, you nitwit! So instead I'll be be a pretentious fucking phony and make you wade through volumes of purple-prose bullshit to find it, all while masturbating to my own self-inflated sofphistickashun!

Because fuck you.

...OK, enough sarcasm. If it wasn't already obvious, I've got axes to grind. In fact that's actually why I started writing seriously: Whether it's the godawful sequels to Rendezvous with Rama, or a Zootopia fic that went completely off the rails (in a bad way) I was just getting sick of the same old cerebus syndrome, wishy-washy spiritual bullshit, and so one summer I sat down and hammered out the first 11 chapters of A Rather Wonderous Journey, and I've been writing ever since. And boy, the world hasn't stopped piling on new reasons to see a shrink source material for so much as a second.

In fact, fanfic is no longer enough. Lately I've been pursuing some original fic, though only one is done and it hasn't been published. As for my fanfics...

COMPLETED STORY and/or STORIES:

A Rather Wonderous Journey Through Wilde Worlds: what if a Zootopia multiverse fic was actually a multiverse fic, with all the interdimensional shenanigans that would imply?

UPDATES:

Zystopian Gods is still on Hiatus. Expect it to be way angstier when/if it resumes.

My StarFox/Zootopia/SCP three-way crossover is also on hiatus.

I saw Rise of Skywalker. It was lame. The sequel trilogy sucks. Rey is a Mary Sue.

A Housepets! fic is in the works, and just like the Wonderous Journey, it's being written because somebody pissed me off.

Speaking of which, the sequel to A Rather Wonderous Journey Through Wilde Worlds is in the works. It's a bit slow, but it is coming together. It will not be published until either:

- A big plot point is reached in Zystopian Gods, no less significant than chapter 24 of A Rather Wonderous Journey.

- 4:19 AM on the 21st of December, 2020.

When the publication date draws near, whatever it may be, a "teaser" of sorts will be appended to the end of A Rather Wonderous Journey. If you are at all interested, please consider adding it or me to your alert lists.

CORNER OF SHAME: For all the things I won't do.

I will not be doing a Rise of Skywalker fix-fic. It sucked. the sequel trilogy as a whole was lame. Rey is a Mary Sue. And you know what? Disney Star Wars is a crude imitation of the real thing, and it ain't in my canon. (Well ok, I have to admit that Galaxy's Edge was cool, but it would've been way better as Tatooine, instead of whatever the hell random planet they picked for it instead. Fuck you Kathleen Kennedy.)

There are some old stories floating around here from 2014 or so. They're not all that good, and they've long since abandoned, and remain up only on principle.

And finally, for a quote from someone I agree with:

Back in the day, stories were distributed in hard copy. You put them out in the world and relinquished control. They were mailed to others, photocopied, and passed around. You don't get to take them back once you put them out there. If you find one at a garage sale, you are totally free to buy it and burn it. It won't change the fact your stories are in Mable's closet, Joann's nightstand, and John's backseat of his car. You gave up control the day you sent the hard copies out into the world. Right or wrong, it's an undeniable fact that you cannot physically take back all of the copies out there, nor can you prevent the photocopy machine from generating more..

When people share deleted electronic works amongst themselves, they're doing much the same thing. The only practical difference is that you are aware of it. How you feel is personal and unique. You are entitled to your feelings. But, the mindset of having eternal control of something you sent out into the world is unrealistic. Right or wrong, it ain't gonna happen.

Wow. Did you actually read this whole thing? Cool. Anyway, God is dead, Heil DaDaism, fandom is anarchy, etc. So go ahead, do whatever the hell you want to my stories. Maybe a little credit to the author would be appreciated, but it's not like I can stop you from using printouts of my fics to summon the Krampus. But whatever you do, please, for the love of all that is holy, unholy, or any combination thereof, keep circulating the tapes!

--EStK