uselessfork
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Joined 02-24-14, id: 5551412, Profile Updated: 10-09-14
Author has written 7 stories for Naruto.

Real life is scary so I write fanfiction. This is basically my creative outlet as I navigate my way through the world of essays, minimum wage jobs, thesis papers, and a crushing amount of self-imposed pressure to succeed.

On this page you'll mostly find stories which fall into the genre of black humour, romance, and the occasional tragedy. Most of my stories do contain sex or references to sex, mostly because I like to write realistic characters, and sex is just a part of life to most people. However, I am a huge fan of sexual diversity in fanfiction (in all writing, actually), so I'm not just catering to heteronormativity here - I will have queer characters, including asexual and aromantic characters. If you're offended by that I highly advise you educate yourself and/or don't read my stories.

Anyway, I respond well to positive reinforcement, so if you're ever feeling the urge to leave me a nice review, I can't say I'd be upset about it! I also love constructive criticism, but I'm not a fan of unnecessarily or pointlessly cruel/mean reviews. Please don't do that! All other reviews are welcomed with open arms, however.

Quick Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any of the universes which I write my stories about. I'd probably sell an organ for the chance to own them, though. I also allude to a fair few more adult themes in my stories, for example violence, death, mental illness etc. I won't ever attempt to glorify these issues, but if you do feel like I've done that, let me know and I'll rush to fix it.

Update: as of 04.10.14 I've made a profile on Ao3! My name is still 'uselessfork' over there, and I'll get around to adding all my stories there soon. That will only be a side account, but from now on any more 'adult' content which I write will most likely be posted there.

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Expedient by SwiftKick reviews
Konoha and Iwa sign a truce and agree to an Exchange Program between recently promoted genin to "bolster village relations." Fortunately, if anything were to go wrong, Haruno Sakura was just average enough to risk losing.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 52 - Words: 275,000 - Reviews: 2244 - Favs: 2,320 - Follows: 2,248 - Updated: 2/24/2017 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Sakura H., Deidara
Not by LilPurplFlwr reviews
Naruto has a friend. No, not even a friend. Roommate to be exact. And if they were actually friends, Naruto would have something to tell him. [College AU] -Yaoi, slash: Sasuke/Naruto-
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,833 - Reviews: 824 - Favs: 755 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 4/23/2016 - Published: 8/5/2006 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.]
Team 7's Ascension: Blood Wings by Eilyfe reviews
In unity lies strength; each leaf is important or the beauty of the tree is lost. Some bonds, however, are difficult to forge and even harder to keep. The tide of blood nears, drums thunder, and three Genin stand tall as the world spirals into madness. [AU]
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 205,683 - Reviews: 2128 - Favs: 6,326 - Follows: 4,678 - Updated: 3/8/2016 - Published: 12/22/2013 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Cas Bakes Dean a Pie by pleasedonttalktome reviews
Dean is watching a show about pies. Little does he know Cas baked him one?
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 950 - Favs: 1,566 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 8/11/2015 - Published: 11/15/2012 - Dean W., Castiel - Complete
Clarity by ElectraSev5n reviews
It's all about your perspective, really. She may have been kidnapped by a lunatic, or this might be an interesting new employment opportunity. She'll hang around for now- she doesn't have anything better to do. This is the sequel to 'Vapors', an OC story that loosely follows the conventions of a SI. I don't recommend starting here, I really don't.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 226,831 - Reviews: 1216 - Favs: 1,603 - Follows: 1,383 - Updated: 5/1/2015 - Published: 7/20/2014
Consequences of Neglect by DeepPoeticGirl reviews
/KakaSaku/ When Sakura makes a mistake with her Hokage-sama, she usually learns to never do it again. This one, however, she swears to do more often. Who wouldn't, with such blissful repercussions? PWP. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 39 - Published: 8/18/2014 - [Kakashi H., Sakura H.] - Complete
Vapors by ElectraSev5n reviews
This ninja business? It isn't for the faint of heart. Luckily Aiko is far from faint, even if she did get stuck with a ridiculously girly name. SI, OC, whatever you want to call it. Rating is for language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 103 - Words: 670,665 - Reviews: 5204 - Favs: 4,050 - Follows: 2,485 - Updated: 7/20/2014 - Published: 11/17/2013 - Kakashi H., OC - Complete
Office Work by ElectraSev5n reviews
For once, the misbehaving student Kakashi is scolded about is Tsunade's darling apprentice. At least he gets a giggle out of it all. No one else is pleased. Rather cracky, I'm afraid, an old document I found on my computer and quickly revised.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 22 - Published: 4/6/2014 - Sakura H., Kakashi H., Tsunade S.
Inconceivable by CrownsofLaurels reviews
Because not even Tsunade would have made the bet that Kakashi and Naruto would wind up together. Which is probably why it happened. Kakashi/FemNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,421 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 1,981 - Follows: 517 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 12/9/2012 - Naruko U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Round One by skywalkor reviews
Alone in a bath house. A short, smut drabble for sexual sunday! Rated M.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,051 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/2/2013 - Kakashi H., Yamato - Complete
House Calls by Spoiled Sweet reviews
Always the Team Mom, Sakura opens up her home as a clinic for the hospital-phobic ninja of Konoha. At the same time, her relationship with Kakashi begins to evolve in a way she never expected. M for swearing and later content.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 262,803 - Reviews: 3238 - Favs: 4,961 - Follows: 2,273 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Here's To Us, Who's Like Us by emilyenrose reviews
Kakashi, Obito and Rin live happily ever after. Or try to. (A story where Obito succeeded.)
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,200 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 34 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Kakashi H., Obito U. - Complete
Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting by odmonkey reviews
"It would have been difficult to say who was more unpleasantly surprised, Haruno Sakura or the five members of the Akatsuki, when she walked into the back-end of nowhere bar". Filthy words and sexy talk are all part of a day's work for the Akatsuki.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,804 - Reviews: 744 - Favs: 1,903 - Follows: 997 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Akatsuki, Sakura H. - Complete
Will of Fire by Cynchick reviews
Forced to flee their village and the new regime, the loyal shinobi of Konoha must find a way to preserve their way of life and take back their home. As they fight for their future, Team Seven struggles to overcome the past. KakaSaku
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 223,234 - Reviews: 2018 - Favs: 2,809 - Follows: 1,333 - Updated: 6/18/2012 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Growing Pangs by The Edgy Bubble reviews
Through a turn of awkward events Sakura starts to see a new side of the teacher she never really paid much attention to before, and that teacher suffers similarly. A story about a forbidden relationship and the many obstacles in their way. First Story!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 87 - Words: 432,954 - Reviews: 1875 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 3/17/2012 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Sakura H., Kakashi H.
Round and Round by J-Pop Princess reviews
Sakura and Itachi are high school students facing the threat of college breaking up their current relationship. When they're alone on a school bus together, Itachi takes the chance to show Sakura just how much she mean to him. LEMON
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,572 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 77 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
The Ninth Night by leafygirl reviews
Sakura has been assigned the worst possible duty a medic can be given. Itasaku one shot.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,206 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 95 - Published: 6/26/2011 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Spring Rain and Winter Storms by SilverShine reviews
[KakaSaku] Various short oneshots of varying length, theme, and rating. Enjoy!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,968 - Reviews: 1257 - Favs: 1,035 - Follows: 435 - Updated: 6/9/2010 - Published: 11/23/2007 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Tender Loving Care by SilverShine reviews
KakaSaku. One-shot. For a man who claimed to hate hospitals so much, Kakashi sure did spend a lot of time in them. And Sakura was finally beginning to understand just why...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,730 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 1,287 - Follows: 182 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
By the Book by moderndayportia reviews
Sakura falls asleep in the library again instead of going home and Kakashi punishes her thoroughly. KakaSaku. Warning: LEMON/pure smut
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,507 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 1,341 - Follows: 226 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Cupid by TCLessley reviews
In which Sakura is struck by an arrow.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,112 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
A Series of Firsts by leafygirl reviews
A series of moments that happen between Sakura and Kakashi on a rotation at an ANBU camp as they discover their dynamic has changed over the years. One Shot. Mature content.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,200 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 1,820 - Follows: 196 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Hokage sama by SilverShine reviews
Every Hokage needs his assistant. KakaSaku. One-shot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,210 - Reviews: 602 - Favs: 2,260 - Follows: 335 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Seven Days by SilverShine reviews
[Kakasaku] A mission gone awry lands two squeakyclean ninja in the Konoha Prison for a week. One cell. Seven Days. What could possibly happen? [Aside from the obvious throttling, of course. This is Kakashi and Sakura we’re talking about].
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 68,747 - Reviews: 2006 - Favs: 2,610 - Follows: 2,112 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Kakashi H., Sakura H.
A Few More Strokes To Happiness by Sesshomaru-Sara reviews
Naruto is an artist. Sasuke is a model. Picture it. [NaruSasu KisaIta KyuuSasu Yaoi AU COMPLETE]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 38,528 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 12/8/2007 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Anti Ramen by SilverShine reviews
[KakaYama] Yamato doesn't like Ramen. [Flufftasticish oneshot]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,086 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 41 - Published: 12/12/2006 - Kakashi H., Yamato - Complete
Weaponry by desolate butterfly reviews
[A Team Seven crackfic] Kakashi eavesdrops on his adorable little students and overhears something that he really wishes he hadn't.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,103 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 2,012 - Follows: 364 - Published: 7/22/2006 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Fated by leafygirl reviews
Sakura runs from her past as Kakashi wants to run from life. Naruto and Genma witness the painful trials their friends must go through. Kakasaku Sasusaku - Please be aware there are multiple serious main character deaths. You will probably cry. This story has angst/tragedy/romance and maybe not in that order.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 124,471 - Reviews: 1361 - Favs: 1,874 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 7/23/2005 - Published: 11/23/2004 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Chains reviews
In which Kushina survives the Kyuubi attack, Sasuke is adopted by the Uzumaki clan, and Sakura takes it upon herself to teach Kakashi social cues. A 'Kushina lives' AU exploring the butterfly effect which her survival could have had on the Naruto universe and the characters within it. Rated M for language and mature/violence themes, will eventually contain pairings.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 29,303 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 302 - Updated: 1/7/2016 - Published: 8/16/2014 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Kakashi H.
Not Nearly Enough reviews
In which Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura screw up on a level previously unheard of for Team 7 and wake up having switched bodies overnight. Reactions are varied. Kakashi nearly has a nervous breakdown. Yamato never wanted to see Naruto without clothes. Shizune is largely unfazed. Trigger warning for depictions of violence as well as swearing and possible future sex scenes.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,984 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 98 - Published: 2/10/2015 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Kakashi H.
Mission Impossible reviews
In which Kakashi nearly dies (again), Sakura is exhausted, and Tsunade decides that both nin need a vacation of sorts. Of course, 'vacation' directly translates to 'diplomatic mission', and Sakura and Kakashi soon find themselves facing missing nin, angry innkeepers, and way too much sexual tension as they make their way to Mist. KakaSaku. Rated M for sexual themes and language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,818 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 1/7/2015 - Published: 10/4/2014 - [Kakashi H., Sakura H.] Mei T., Ao
The Principal's Office reviews
Naruto has an interesting visit to the principal's office, and discovers the new kid and his (distractingly attractive) older brother. In which Sasuke is angry, Itachi tries to persuade him to make friends, and Naruto thinks the whole ordeal is pretty funny. Unsurprisingly, this does not make Sasuke less angry. Fairly cracky, with pairing hints. Rating is for occasional language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,022 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/19/2014 - Itachi U., Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Closer to Home reviews
Various oneshots and/or requests based around either a prompt or pairing. Mostly KakaSaku, SasuSaku, NaruHina, KakaRin, ShikaTema, and KakaYama, or Team 7 centric. Contains several lemons, and some angst-based ficlets. To request a oneshot, PM me or message me through tumblr. Rated M for language and lemons.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,787 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/7/2014 - Published: 7/11/2014 - Sakura H., Naruto U., Sasuke U., Kakashi H.
At Second Glance reviews
Sakura opens her door one morning to find an injured Kakashi staring back at her. After taking him in and healing him, she realises that this is not her Kakashi-sensei but his younger self, traveling from the past. Inappropriate flirting ensues, and Sakura discovers that there's more to her sensei than she ever thought. KakaSaku. Rated M for language and sexual and violence themes.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,188 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 719 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 8/2/2014 - Published: 5/10/2014 - [Sakura H., Kakashi H.] Tsunade S., Yamato - Complete
Four Hours Late reviews
Kakashi returns home late from a mission to find his pink-haired kunoichi waiting for him. It's been too long, and neither can hold back from one another. KakaSaku. Rated M for lemon/sex scene.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,372 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 28 - Published: 7/1/2014 - [Kakashi H., Sakura H.] - Complete