Author has written 2 stories for Parodies and Spoofs, and Harry Potter.
Hi, Emskie Potter here, but call me Emskie, it's easier to type. Tell me if l spell anything wrong and you are Australian, or know how we Aussies spell. l am Australian , therefore, l spell like an Australian, unless l am Auto corrected, or l did a copy onto your account thing and it wasn't spelt like Aussies spell. l'vs stopped swapping capital I for lowercase l, there's just too many to do. Also, I'm really sorry, but I don't get much time to write, but I will try to update as much as I can.
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This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. ln the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. lf you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
97% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If your one of the 3% who would sit there like me, in a deck chair with popcorn and yell DO A FLIP! then copy and paste this on your page
lf you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
lf you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
lf your friends have called you something that really, really does not describe you, copy and paste this into your profile.
Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
lf you are against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. lf you are part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
Doh! Dol really have to explain that?
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. lf you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, EmeraldBear, Kyprioths Shadow, know-it-all-bookworm, Emskie Potter,
98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. lf you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
lf you think that those stupid kids should just give that annoying Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. lf you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
lf you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
lf you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
lf you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, Kyprioths Shadow, know-it-all-bookworm, Emskie Potter,
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he talked his friend out of suicide.
See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.
See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.
See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.
See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of make-up? You bullied her for being ugly without it too.
An upstander to bullies, not a bystander.
Re-Post this if you are against bullying. l bet 95% of you won't.
See if you can read this ( I can ):
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thohugt slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool, inst it! No lengor do we need to try at slepnilg tstes. Yay! If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptase otno yuor plfroie, oaky?
You love hoodies.
Your Girl Side
You wear/wore lip gloss/chapstick.
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
If you've ever spoken in a foreign accent without intending to, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever got hit in the face with a soccerball, football, etc., cop, paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever copied and pasted the same thing onto your profile multiple times, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!!
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If you're weird, copy this into your profile.
98 percent of the Internet population has a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 percent who can resist this stupid fad, copy this into your profile.
If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile
If you run into inanimite objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.
f you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.
If you hate the people who only read/like twilight becuse they made it in to a movie copy and past this on your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy and paste this to your profile
If you have sibling that drives you crazy copy and paste this to your profile
If you like little kids movies like the fox and the hound and your older than 10 copy and paste this to your profile
If you love to sing even if you may or may not suck copy and paste this to your profile
If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile.
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down. " (W
ell...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On a mat designed to get rid of frost in your freezer: "Works best in frost free freezers" (Why would I need the mat then?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On a children's fold-away stroller: Do not fold while child is in stroller
On most pre-packaged brands of nuts: Warning: May contain traces of nuts. (Really?? I wanted bread!!)
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten and/or spelt your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend and still love her, then copy this to your profile.
If you read books that no one even know about, copy and paste this into your profile
If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more Gummy Bears , copy and paste this into your profile.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
'Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your option. Would you rather be fat for a while, or kill your child?
If you're against abortion, re-post this
What you call being "too lazy to review" is what we call "a flame to the pages" as the writers. That one minute or two that you felt "too lazy" to review is another minute of creeping discouragement that all writers feel as they begin to think...
"Why am I even here…?"
"What's even the point of continuing?"
"My skills must be terrible…no one cares for my story…"
"I'll never be a good writer...I quit."
These are only a few thoughts that go through every writer's head- that go through MY head- when we put out a chapter / story with all our heart and soul within, and we sit there…and sit…and wait…and not a single person says even a word.
If you're not a writer, you have NO IDEA how much that hurts…
If you ARE a writer, then I'm sure you know just how great it feels when someone is kind enough to leave a heartwarming and encouraging review, and you read it, smiling while thinking…"Wow…I did it…"
So, why not give fellow writers the same luxury here?
Too many times I've seen epic and utterly beautiful works of literary art fall to pieces before finally being abandoned due to the terrible discouragement that the lack of reviews can cause.
Sometimes, it is so severe that the very writer himself decides to quit, denying the world his skills of writing that I'm it would have deeply enjoyed.
Just one minute, that's all it takes. Just a few gentle taps of the fingers on your keyboard, a few seconds or so of your time, and your words can SAVE a writer from a dark demise.
Do me a favor: Go find a story, ANY story, anywhere here on Fanfic,net, and see if you can help it. If it has very little / no reviews at all, just check it out, and say whatever comes to mind.
And enjoy the thought in mind that you could have just SAVED that story, with just a few taps of the keyboard…
If you agree with what I have said then please copy and paste any part of this story you wish onto your profile.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!"
9 Things I Find Annoying:
1. People Who Point At Their Wrist While Asking For The Time... I Know Where My Watch Is Pal, Where The Hell Is Yours? Do I Point At My Crotch When I Ask Where The Toilet Is?
2. People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Ass To Search The Entire Room To Find The TV Remote Because They Refuse To Get Up And Change The Channel Manually.
3. When People Say, 'Oh You Just Want To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.' Damn Right! What Good Is Cake If You Can't Eat It?
4. When People Say, 'It's Always The Last Place You Look.' Of Course It Is. Why The Hell Would You Keep Looking After You Found It? Do People Do This? Who And Where Are They? I'm Gonna Kick Their Asses!
5. When People Say While Watching A Film, 'Did You See That?' No Loser, I Spent 12 Dollars To Come To The Cinema And Stare At The Damn Floor.
6. People Who Ask, 'Can I Ask You A Question?' Didn't Really Give Me A Choice There, Did Ya Sunshine?
7. When Something Is 'New And Improved.' Which Is It? If Its New, Then There Has Never Been Anything Before It. If Its An Improvement, Then There Must Have Been Something Before It, So It Can't Be New.
8. When People Say, 'Life Is Too Short.' What The Hell? Life Is The Longest Damn Thing Anyone Ever Does! What Can You Do Thats Longer?
9. When You're Waiting For The Bus And Someone Asks, 'Has The Bus Come Yet?' If The Bus Came, Would I Be Standing Here Dumbass?
if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. l understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!"
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
You know you live in 2014 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.
4.)You touch your computer screen, then call a family member saying "My touch screen isn't working!"
5.)You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
7.)Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
8.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
9.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
10.) And you were too busy to notice number 6.
11.)You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 6.
12.)Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
13.) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it and I know you did.
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile.
(o.o) Help pokmeon rule the world!! Copy this on your profile!!
.••) .•) .•.•) .•)
In Remembrance of Severus Snape: A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor without all the red and gold crap
In Remeberance of Lily Potter: Who died to protect her son she made the ulimate sacrifice to make the world a safer place she'll always remain in our hearts
In Remembrance of Fred Weasley: Who fought bravely to the very end and whose jokes will forever brighten his other half and will loyally await his soul mate and brother with many jokes, he's got forever to think of them, right
In Remenberance of Cedric Diggory: Who died before his time and will be remembered for his bravery
In Rememberance of Sirius Black: The black sheep in his family he died laughing at the hands of his cousin he didn't deserve to spend the last fourteen years of his life the way he did in Azkaban and on the run
In Remembrance of Dobby: Who was more free and full of love than any elf, and most humans
In Remembrance of Remus J. Lupin: the last real Marauder who was not just a wonderful father a incredible husband and brave hero as well as a freaking awesome werewolf
In Remembrance of Nymphadora Tonks: Who died for ‘the greater good’ and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora
In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody: Whose motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive and scared the crap out of some kids too
In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort: Who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end
In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore: Whose past and wisdom confused us whose seeming betrayal shocked us but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the enddespite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing
In Remembrance of Bellatrix Lestrange: Because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra she deserved everything she got and more
In Remembrance of Colin Creevey: Who we really didn’t know too well but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war so he must’ve done something good besides stalking Harry
In Remembrance of Hedwig: Harry's actual first friend who lived and died SOARING
And In Remembrance of Harry James Potter: Yeah I know he's not dead (damn right he's not) but the series is. *sobs* J.K., if you're reading this, get crackin!