Author has written 14 stories for Yu-Gi-Oh, and Team Fortress 2.
What up! Welcome to what Fanfiction.net forced me to write in what can only be described as a desperate and guttural cry for attention.
Name: Sheila the yaoi enthusiast!
Occupation: Fandom slave
Location: Shadow Realm
Interests: Yaoi, drawing poorly, yaoi, anime, yaoi, Yami Bakura, yaoi, writing, yuri, yaoi, your mom, yaoi, DDR, yaoi, manga, yaoi, JRock, yaoi, reading, yaoi, and shounen-ai.
Intelligent Thought(s): Sometimes-- late at night-- I lay awake and wonder, "Could I be a Kaiba brother?"
Site Thinger: BEHOLD MY DEVIANT ART-NESS BITCHES 8D
Now, some haikus. Be aware: these sum up my sophomoric excuse for an ulterior motive
I write yaoi fics
VT is insane
Because I got high
Don't Do Drugs; the results are thus
The Hunchback of Notre Dame-
Neon Genesis Evangelion-
Yuu Yuu Hakusho-
Yami no Matsuei-
Team Fortress 2-
The Nightmare Before Christmas-
Aqua Teen Hunger Force-
Kingdom Hearts Series-
Queer as Folk-
Justice League (Unlimited)-
Star Fox Series-
Fefu and Her Friends-
Metal Gear Series-
Witch Hunter Robin-
Full Metal Alchemist-
Avatar: The Last Blah Blah-
The Venture Brothers-
Revolutionary Girl Utena-
Least Favorite couples I've read:
Yuu Yuu Hakusho-
Revolutionary Girl Utena-
Metal Gear Series-
Now, the top 5 things I've read in fanfics that I am absolutely sure can never, ever happen
1. Yuugi's eyes widened
XD I don't care what anyone says. Those couldn't possibly happen.
Since FFN won't allow this to be a fic, I'm posting it here:
I will not, I repeat for emphasis, will NOT explain exactly what a card does before, after, or as I play it. In fact, I will pretend to be mute for the majority of the duel up until I need to say that stupid chant for the Winged Dragon of Ra. After all, being a good duelist is nice; the element of surprise is nicer.
I will believe in the heart of the cards, no matter how dumb it may seem.
I will not anger Kaiba, Malik, Marik, or Bakura, lest I have a death wish.
I will always let Kaiba win. Even if it’s at tic-tac-toe and he has never played before.
I will not kidnap Mokuba; kidnapping Yuugi would be much easier and with an overall much better affect. His friends are all mentally inept, and Yuugi fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
I will never enter any tournaments run by Kaiba. Ever.
If my hair extends more than 10 inches from my face, I will get a haircut.
I will always check out who my voice actor is BEFORE I sign any contracts.
If Kaiba and I cannot share a screenshot because of my height, I will not spike my hair in an attempt to compensate. I will instead wear platform shoes that MATCH my outfit.
I will have a card created called, “Ninner Ninner Ninner!” This trap card would state that if Yami somehow managed to turn the duel around in his favor with one card, one turn, or one move, I would automatically win.
I will hold a “Millenium Items’ Holders Convention” gathering all the hikaris and yamis in one spot; I will then steal all the items before the tomb robber knows what happened.
If I wish to gather Yuugi and his friends in one spot, I will not lure them to a desolate house in the middle of Nowhere; this is a dead give-away. Instead, I will go to the local gay bar and wait.
When threatening Yami’s/Yuugi’s friends, I will not do something temporary like turning them into virtual stone. I will instead immediately kill them so as not to run the risk of them somehow coming back, cheering him on, and thereby giving him the confidence to win the duel.
I will kill 4KIDS Entertainment for most likely making me look flamboyantly gay.
If I ever get the sudden urge to shave my head bald, save a ponytail in the back of my skull, I will send myself to the Shadow Realm.
I will not trust characters with green hair, bad voice actors, or a height less than 5 feet. That’s just creepy.
I will become close friends with Yami and Yuugi. With some luck, they will risk their own lives in order to save mine, and the second they are down, I’ll steal the Puzzle.
I will not put a piece of my soul into Anzu, no matter how desperate I am.
I will prove once and for all Kaiba is crying on the inside.
I will remember that the plot is not on my side nor will it ever be, so the best I can do is have fun.
Whips are fun.
If my eyes take up more than half my face, I will pay 3 million dollars for an eye operation.
I will form an alliance with Yami Bakura, and when he lets his guard down, I will braid his hair. This gives me no actual advantage, but it’s difficult to be intimidated when you are trying to be banished to the Realm of Shadows by a bishounen with white pigtails.
I will learn how to run while wearing a trench coat, then teach Kaiba.
I will have the Millenium Spatula.
I will not have a flashback in the middle of a duel to somehow show how pathetic and full of anguish my past was. I’m a freakin’ villain; were you expecting rainbows?
I will not mock the Ishtars’ mentality at any time. I enjoy living in this realm.
I will not make any references to Jou being a dog. I will instead be original, and call Kaiba a cat.
I will then run, very fast.
I will not send anyone to the Shadow Realm. Instead, I will lock them in a closet with Anzu. Why should I kill the fool, when he will be willing to do so himself within seconds?
I will keep a robotic cheesecake by my side at all times...I’m not sure as to what this will do for me besides distracting Jou, but as a villain, I’ve always wanted one.
I will not wear a neutral color like black or blue. I will instead wear an incredibly distracting color, like neon yellow. This way, if I begin losing too many life points, I can dance around and say, “I’m a pretty Kuriboh!” Hopefully, this will distract my opponent long enough for me to attack directly.
Said plan does not work if opponent is Marik; he will most likely be turned on by the whole ordeal.
If one more character wants to rule the world as pharaoh or take over Kaiba Corporations to do so, I will shoot them on sight.
On days in which I am randomly missing from the plot, I will send an email to all the characters that reads, "I PWN YOU" in order to keep up morale.
I will make it abundantly clear that dueling for your father, deceased wife, best friend, grandfather, self, fate of the world, brother, love interest, master, or nearly blind sister is completely unreasonable.
Dueling for Malik’s sex change is.
I will not carry around a gun. Death by poking so so much more frightening.
I will try to make Yuugi cry in every episode. It is apparently not that hard.
If my gender cannot be deciphered on sight, I will get cosmetic surgery to rectify that problem. Immediately.
If my laugh is 7 octaves higher than my regular speaking voice is, I will cease cracking jokes altogether.
If I am American, I will eventually die a horrendous death anyway, no use dwelling on it.
I will create another card called "Shut the Fuck Up You Self-Righteous Bastard." If Yami says the word "fate" or "destiny" even once in the whole duel, I immediately win.
My clothes and hair WILL abide by the laws of physics.
When I am about to make a direct attack, I will not mock my opponent, nor will I make any references to taking candy from babies. It is usually in these instances that the other duelist has some sort of special trap card--no one has ever heard of-- that can destroy me completely, making me look that much more stupid.
I will not try to obtain the Sennen Puzzle by dueling Yami. Instead, I will buy 51 percent of all hair gel companies and shut them down. From there, it will just be a waiting game.
I will not be surprised when I find that my past is responsible for the crumble of a glorious and ancient civilization despite what textbooks say.
I will not wear a trench coat. That is obviously Kaiba’s thing, and I have no desire to get my ass kicked.
Plus, I could use the valuable time wasted starching it, to come up with diabolical schemes that could actually work.
I will never wear knee-high socks with platform sandals.This is not a fashion statement; it is a mistake.
I will stray from any physical contact with characters of the same or near same gender; I know how fangirls get.
I will always ask about the shiny, golden object hiding behind peoples’ backs.
Said plan does not work if person is Malik. It’s just probably his bracelet or something, right?
I will not be surprised when I find my past is linked to ancient Egypt.
Nor will I be surprised when Kaiba does not believe my past is linked to ancient Egypt.
I will also not be surprised when I find that there is yet another Kaiba brother.
However, I will commit suicide if I find that there is another Mizaki (Anzu).
One last thing
I hope you enjoyed my attempts at hiding my inadequecy--I mean, on to the fics!
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