TimeyWimeyGirl4
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Joined 03-31-14, id: 5627018, Profile Updated: 07-27-15
Author has written 9 stories for Lord of the Rings, Mysterious Benedict Society series, Doctor Who, Avengers, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Penderwicks series.

Hullo fellow citizens of internet land!

I am

INTJ

Dauntless

Slytherin

Daughter of Hermes

Whovian

Avenger

Lunartic

Glader

Ringbearer

Fanfiction Writer

Born-Again Christian

There is an author on here that has suffered from the Disappearing Syndrome, her name is Erestor. If you desperately want her to come back so she can keep writing amazing stories,please join the movement. Look left when ever you think of her, and copy and paste this to your profile, and addyour name to the list. EvenstarWarrior, BlackShaftedArrow, TimeyWimeyGirl4

I have a headcanon that Miss Frizzle and Mary Poppins are both Time Ladies. It is also my opinion that The Magic School Bus is a TARDIS and Mary Poppins's bag is Time Lord technology and her umbrella is sonic :)


Now for all that fun copy and paste stuff!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, fictionlover14, Saffire55, queen92a, Kaitie Kaye, anime-lover10, lindsey and marie enterprises, TimeyWimeyGirl

If you seriously wish you could SLAP Denethor (LOTR) than copy/paste this into your profile.

If you always put too much chocolate syrup in your chocolate milk than copy/paste this into your profile=)

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this.

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! and eating popcorn with fireworks ready :)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you obsessively check your email almost every 10 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)

On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (...I thought you used a spoon...)

On a can of bug spray:“Harmful to bees”. (I thought I was harmful to ants)

On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”. (Note to self, don't buy from this company)

On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”. (So that's why it won't work anymore...)

A New Zealand insect spray "Not tested on animals." (Obviously.. you tested it on insects, duh!)

A Television Owner’s Manual "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (People really get payed for writing this??)

A VCR box says "Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." (How can you watch it????!!!!!)

A can of self-defense pepper spray "May irritate eyes." (Really???)

A can of windscreen de-icing spray "Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." (That helps a lot)

A cardboard sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard "Do not drive with sunshield in place." (Well, that explains a lot.)

A cartridge for a laser printer "Do not eat toner." (Awww... but it tastes good)

A computer mouse "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (Where did they get that idea...)

A dishwasher carries this warning "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh...Srry kids can't play in there anymore...)

A popular manufactured fireplace log "Caution - Risk of Fire." (What's it supposed to do...play music?)

A rubber ball toy "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." (Isn't that why I'm buying it?)

A sharpening stone "Knives are sharp." (You don't say!)

A snowblower warns "Do not use snowthrower on roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snowthrower on the roof?)

A baby stroller "Remove child before folding." (Oh. Better go get little Bobby out...)

A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (Aww, man.)

An electric router made for carpenters "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Shoot. There goes my quick fix to this cavity.)

An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." (Okay... then how am I suppose to use it?)

A rock garden "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (Ah.)

A Fruit Roll-Up snack "Remove plastic before eating." (That's why it doesn't taste good...)

On a bag of Marshmellows: "Flammable" (Really? I thought they were fire resistant...oops...)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over a bug, put this on your profile.

If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, ect) copy this to your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very easy opponent, I should practice more). Crazy is when you practice thumb wars. So if you're crazy, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

if you have ever run into a telephone pole, copy this onto your profile.

if you have ever yelled something random in a large crowd of people, copy this onto your profile "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt. And guess what's inside it?" Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.

Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.”

A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet

Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone.

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.

Living your life is more important than making a living.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? Don't remember:)

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Doctor Who poster

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? Apparently I talk in my sleep.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN To? Various types

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? I think I used to.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? To finish the WMNSOTA series

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? Rose Tyler

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? A lot…

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'3''

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Not really.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Almost never

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Steven Moffat.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? Petrichor

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER? Not really sure. Dark hair, dark eyes.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? I don’t know, but hopefully somewhere meaningful.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Neither.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Cheese.

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Biscuits and gravy.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? Nope.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECIEVED? Don't remember.

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? No.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? I think in a couple places.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Ummmm...

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? No.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT? Non-existent.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? I don't think I could really help it

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? I love you. With a sweet kiss and hug on top.

30. TYPE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 42

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Trick question?

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? My BFF

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? People thinking they're right

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Nope.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Jesus.

37. FIRST JOB? Not yet.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? No.

39. DO YOU SWEAR? No.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE FILLING THIS OUT? Watching the Age of Ultron trailer

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? No.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My height and my drawings.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nope.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A Slytherin scarf

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? I don't know

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Don’t think so.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? No.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Tress-emme

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Eh..

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Chicken.

52. ANY BAD HABITS? Hmmm... Let me think

53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? None

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? Maybe?

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I glare

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? My church and the woods.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Ballerina stuff.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? Like 12

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? No idea

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Me?! Nooo! ;)

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed potatoes.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Honesty. Kindness.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Liv

67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER?Twenty One Pilots

68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW/S? DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Firefly. And Sherlock.

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? Not yet.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Moose tracks

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Yes.

72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Uhhhh…. Haha…

73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? Yes there is.

74. WHAT'S THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? 65 or thereabouts(I wasn't driving)

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? If they want to

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? BFF

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? Demeanor

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? Umm…

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Denethor, former Stewerd of Gondor and Prince Hans of the Southern Isles

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? May

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? I don't do zodiac

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Caramely brown

86. EYE COLOR? Hazel

89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? Taco Bell

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? NOOOO!

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Sherlock

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Easter

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? No.

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Republican

95. KISSES OR HUGS? Hmmm...

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Notebooks

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? I don't have a car:)

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? I'm in the middle of a lot of books right no

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever write FanFictions when you should be doing homework, paying attention in class, etc., put this on your profile!!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, copy this into your profile!!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, An-Jelly-Ca,VMsuperfan, SVUlover, daisy617, Jammylmd. Musiclvr320, F29DWNxluverx4, oxlovelyxo, xoxojonasbrothersluva101xoxo, mamaXUnicorn, liveindreamland1- MySupermanJoeDJDangaa, Thranduils.Heart.And.Soul., Legolas Thranduilion,TimeyWimeyGirl

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimeKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, pirateswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Nazgul Queen, Admiral Norrington, iamanundeadmonkey, LoveSquaredTichan, icestar14, ServantofSauron, Thranduils.Heart.And.Soul, Legolas Thranduilion, Broken-Rose-Thornesxoxo,TimeyWimeyGirl

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile

If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're a person who is longing for an adventure like the ones you read in books, copy and paste this to your profile.

If songs get stuck in your head so constantly that you know the words them copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

I am insane. Literally. Not someone who would be thrown into a padded room crazy (even though it would be fun) but I am crazy. I listen to soundtracks and know what part of the movie it’s at. I throw my books at the wall (because I love to read) and then feel sorry because I hurt it. I yell at inanimate objects. I still get mad when something bad happens to a character in a movie or a book even though I’ve seen it a bazillion times. The library is my second home. I read books over and over again until I have them memorized and I still read them. I still think it's funny to make duck beaks with Pringles and I laugh when the ketchup farts. I forget where i put things, get mad when I can't find them, and then laugh when I do find them. I can't remember what I did an hour ago, let alone 5 minutes ago.

so yeah, I’m crazy.

IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped over a bug, put this on your profile.

If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, ect) copy this to your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very easy opponent, I should practice more). Crazy is when you practice thumb wars. So if you're crazy, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

if you have ever run into a telephone pole, copy this onto your profile.

if you have ever yelled something random in a large crowd of people, copy this onto your profile

"I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt. And guess what's inside it?"

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.

Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.”

A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet

Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone.

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.

Living your life is more important than making a living.

If your a FanFiction addict, copy this to your profile.

If your a computer addict, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever write FanFictions when you should be doing homework, paying attention in class, etc., put this on your profile!!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, copy this into your profile!!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, An-Jelly-Ca,VMsuperfan, SVUlover, daisy617, Jammylmd. Musiclvr320, F29DWNxluverx4, oxlovelyxo, xoxojonasbrothersluva101xoxo, mamaXUnicorn, liveindreamland1- MySupermanJoeDJDangaa, Thranduils.Heart.And.Soul., Legolas Thranduilion, TimeyWimeyGirl

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimeKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, pirateswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Nazgul Queen, Admiral Norrington, iamanundeadmonkey, LoveSquaredTichan, icestar14, ServantofSauron, Thranduils.Heart.And.Soul, Legolas Thranduilion, Broken-Rose-Thornesxoxo, TimeyWimeyGirl

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile

If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're a person who is longing for an adventure like the ones you read in books, copy and paste this to your profile.

If songs get stuck in your head so constantly that you know the words them copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read Ranger's Apprentice, and thought of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings when you first pictured Halt, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

You are a writer IF...

-Ifyou talk to yourself. (Alll the time...Shakes head sadly)
-If
you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’) (All the time again...)
-If,
when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so you're telling me that, if all the dustmites in two square feet were to suddenly tackle glomp each other they'd become visible?’)
-If,
after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If
you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If
people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If
your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If,
when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If,
you tend to collect every rock you can find, to the point that it ANNOYS everyone, even your own mother and other peoples' mother.
-If,
no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If,
the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If
people think you might have O.C.D.
-If
you think it’d be cool to have O.C.D.
-If
you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If
you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If
your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally
, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English

If you always have more than one tab open when on the computer, copy and paste

If you've ever wondered how long a profile can be, copy and paste

Rant:Legolas' last name is not 'Greenleaf'!! Greenleaf is the English translation of Legolas' name! His proper last name is 'Thranduilion', which means 'son of Thranduil'. So, do not call him Legolas Greenleaf!

If you sometimes wonder if you were born in the wrong era, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you feel that classical music is AWESOME, but under appreciated by others, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN--are made for each other and that, no matterhowawesomely awesome Captain Jack Sparrow may be, he shouldnever, underanycircumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you believe that the curse of the Flying Dutchman is broken and Will and Elizabeth will be together forever with their son, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Jesus rocks, copy and paste this in your profile!

Before He went to heaven, He promised to come back for His children. If you believe that Jesus WILL return one day, copy and paste this in your profile.

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have your own little world copy this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

Please read-true story (not me)
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

If you sometimes find yourself narrating your life as if you were writing a story, copy and paste this in your profile.

95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, copy and paste this into your profile

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in God and Jesus who died on the cross

then copy and paste this in your profile

Fanfiction is for people who have a pen and know how to use it.
Fanfiction is for people who want to be in that story themselves.
Fanfiction is for people who have no other way to express the ideas in your head.
Fanfiction is for people who daydream and constantly imagine the impossible.
Fanfiction is for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books.
Fanfiction is for those of us who aren't accepted in the real world.
Fanfiction is for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Geek, Shy, Silent, Crazy, Insane, Odd, or Different (I've been called all of those).
Fanfiction is for girls that fall in love with a non existent guys. (Because they're the best kind...)
Fanfiction is for girls who don't need guys to complete them.
Fanfiction is for people talk to themselves... a lot.
Fanfiction is for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.
Fanfiction is for people who get funny looks for reading in class.
Fanfiction is for people who always get asked to read out their stories in English Class.
Fanfiction is for people who say long words that other people don't normally understand.
Fanfiction is for people who aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch.

Fanfiction is for elves and wizards trapped in human bodies.
Fanfiction is for people whose favorite characters always die.

Fanfiction is for people who ditched reality and went for something different.
Fanfiction is for people who hang onto dreams.
Fanfiction is for people who are different, but don't care because, they know it's who they really are.

O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

A girl asked a guy if she was pretty. He said no. Then she asked if he liked her. He said no. Then, she asked if he would cry if she walked away. He said no. Finally, she had heard enough. She walked away, tears streaming down her face. The guy grabbed her arm, and said, "I don't think you're pretty, I think you're beautiful. I don't like you, I love you. I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."

O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried at all.

Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Forgive your enemies, it messes with their head

Fun flies when you’re doing time.

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

'Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.'

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the cops.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

Friends vs Best Friends:

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're a jerk, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DARN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince...

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and bring him to you...

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying...

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry...

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda...

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you...

FRIENDS: Ask for a tissue...

BEST FRIENDS: Use your shirt as a tissue...

FRIENDS: Ask to sleep over...

BEST FRIENDS: Already have their clothes packed...

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, WingedPurpleBookWorm4Life,FluteFishySmart, Pirate-Spy-Demigod-Wizard,Sweetpanda12, SamCarter121314, Gigigue Epic Elven Warrior Princess, TimeyWimeyGirl

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.

Seven days without GOD will make one weak.

If You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

If You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason

If Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 1

If You talk to yourself a lot.

Awesome Quotes

"They have a cave troll."

-Boromir, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

"What are you going to do?"

"Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them at least I am allowed a little peace from your foolish questions!"

-Pippin and Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

"Let's hunt some orc!"

-Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

"What's going on out there!"

"Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?"

-Gimli and Legolas, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."

"What are we holding on to, Sam?"

"That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for."

-Sam and Frodo, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf."

"What about side by side with a friend?"

"Aye, I could do that."

-Gimli and Legolas, The Lord of the Rings: The Returne of the King

"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you STAND, MEN OF THE WEST!"

-Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

"Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the entire street."

-Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

Four serial suicides and now a note! It's Christmas!

-Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

"Shut up everybody! Shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breath, I'm trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you're putting me off."

-Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

“An apple a day will keep anyone away if well aimed.”

“I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!”

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Never doubt the power of an extremely ticked off woman

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

Two men walk into a bar, the third ducks

One day your prince will come. Then where is he? He took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

People who don't know me think I'm quiet, people who do wish I were.

Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.

If you can read this, my cloaking device is broken.

“Good morning! Due to your arrival, I see that the assassins I hired have failed...miserably.”

“In a dog-eat-dog-eat-cat world, the best thing to do is become a goldfish.”

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns one on, I go into another room and read a book.”

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

“Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Somebody, go find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail of what this report is saying.”

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

I live in my own little world. But that's okay; they know me there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Don't make me mad... I'm known to bite at random

Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I didn't invent sarcasm, but I perfected it

When you’re bored and want something to do, open your text book and start writing, "Terrorist attack at 3:00 AM" on all the pages, then give it to a cop. When he asks who wrote this, say your teachers name and take him to the school.

When your teacher tells you to solve a problem on the board, go up there and start writing her life story.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.

Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Smile. It scares people.

What does not kill me had better run pretty darn fast!

PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the heck is my ceiling?"

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

There are very few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives

I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away

If you laugh I will laugh If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh harder

If it starts actually raining cats and dogs, don't go outside

(the answering machine) Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. (end answering machine)

My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it

Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason!

Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly

Bleach and latex gloves: $10... Plastic wrap, trash bags and duct tape: $ 20...Chainsaw: $200. The Horrified look on the cashiers face: PRICELESS!

A friend would help you up when you trip and fall. A best friend would laugh, trip you again, then laugh some more!(:

Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice

I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?!

My mission is accomplished. I ran down the street, threw skittles at people, said "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" so it was a good day

I am so talented I can fall up the stairs, trip on flat surfaces, and get hit by a parked car. Aren't I just amazing? :)

sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say 'YOU'RE IT!!' and then run away

I wonder if anyone else has road rage when pushing a cart through the aisles at Wal-Mart?

The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting in the next cell, laughing, and saying, "That was fun, let's do it again!"

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary

Sarcastic?! ME?! Never!

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me

Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Sarcasm is not a free service I offer...It's a personality trait

I'm smiling. That alone should scare you

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional

What you're looking for is always in the last place you look..." Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!"

When life gives you lemons, Throw them back and yell "I want oranges"

If a turtle is missing its shell is it homeless or naked?

here's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird

The voices and I took a vote, and your insane

(On a T-Shirt) Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt?

Normal people worry me.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

It's okay to talk to inanimate objects, its when they talk back that you should be worried

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk; I have a work station...

When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!!

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its chessy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Kingdom Hearts series. Crazy is when your so obsessed with Roxas (KH 2) that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of French vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the French Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual ipod in your head and are snapped out of it when a friend asks you why you're wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you respond to that little voice in the back of your head. Crazy is when you have a conversation with an inanimate object. Crazy is when you have dreams of ballet shoes taking over the world and possessed sheep attacking you. Crazy is walking into big, yard-thick poles. Crazy is going to the movies in costume or going to school in costume. Crazy is when you can recite the whole Sweeney Todd movie to people who haven't seen it yet. Crazy is when you start singing the Hogwarts school song while going down a rollercoaster. Crazy is when you paint your face school colors, duct tape your arms and legs school colors and wave pom poms around while running up and down around the stadium- area-place-thing shouting "I LOVE JACK SPARROW! and not caring what people say. Crazy is when you skip around the lunch tables singing "The Cat and The Moon" song from the Lord of the Rings Musical. --Crazy is when you use elvish in conversation with somone who doesn't have a clue what your saying. Crazy is when you speak elvish and when you get weird looks from someone you mutter insults at them (in elvish) and walk away. Crazy is when you have a two day marathon with your LOTR crazy best friend and do nothing but improv Merry and Pippin. Crazy is when you name your polythene sword and give it an inscripton in elvish. Crazy is when you go barefoot just for the heck of it. Crazy is when you make Lembas. Crazy is when you call people "Fool of a Took". Crazy is when you go to the midnight premier of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in 3-D, in costume, announce to the other people in line that your crazy, and then play Star Wars Trivia and can't be stumped. Crazy is when you notice every single person with curly hair and think of them as hobbits. Crazy is when you carry a lightsaber in public... all the time. Crazy is when you try to figure out a way to carve Elvish into your sonic screwdriver. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

10 reasons not to mess with a child

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

Reason 8 After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

Reason 9 A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh . . . Then why do you keep crossing things out?"

Reason 10 The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook."

For all you fanfic writers out there who are having a hard time not writing a bad quality story, here's an article I came across which helped me, and may help you.


Literary Bloomers

(By the editors of The Cambridge Literary and Scientific Society. This article can be found here: cambridge-society.blogspot.com/2012/11/literary-bloomers.html)

We confess that of our articles so far, this has been one of the most enjoyable to write, as well as one of the easiest; for, in order to compile a list of literary mistakes, all that was necessary was to mull over all the books we do not like and consider why we do not like them. When something in a book makes us dislike a book, chances are that it makes other people dislike the book as well, and, as we want people to like our own books, these things are best avoided.

As much as many of us dislike poorly-written stories, literary flops afford excellent learning opportunities to writers and innocent amusement to the rest of the public. Even in well-written books we have often found things that we think the authors should have done differently, and felt the story was slightly spoilt because of it. But we have often observed that a bad book is a better teacher than a good one because it demonstrates what not to do when writing a story and it demonstrates it more clearly because it is easier to say why you don’t like something than it is to say why you do.

We have taken the pleasure of compiling a list of our favourite authorial mistakes, first as to story, and second as to characters. If you find that you yourself are guilty of some of these blunders listed, don’t despair. Many of the following are mistakes that we the editors made in our past careers and include them, not only to warn other authors from rocky shoals, but to remind ourselves not to make the same mistakes again.

Boring Stretches

Boring parts of your story should frighten you—they’ll often frighten your readers clean away from your book. One of the greatest secrets of good story-writing is that boringness can almost always be done away with.

From Ghent to Aix

When you need to get your character from one point of the story to another (whether in time or place) how do you do it without slogging into a slough of tedium? It can be done, although to do so takes creativity and hard work. Still, hard work on your part makes easy work for your readers; be sure to cut out of your story long portions of wasted time.

Over-Explanation

Our rule of right thumb (as we are right handed) is: ‘Don’t tell the reader what he can figure out for himself.’ Stories with any kind of mystery need to explain the mystery at some point (usually), but this can be done through a variety of ways and not necessarily through a character explaining everything. Especially avoid making the villain explain. Villains, rather like Mary Poppins, never explain anything. If they do, they lose half of their villainous mystique. One under-used way of explaining things to the audience is through the main character’s perspective. Authors tend to make all the explaining done to the main character, but audiences like a smart protagonist who can figure things out for himself.

Repetition

Avoid repeating things. Kipling’s Just So Stories and other children’s books utilise excessive repetition, but mature readers (e.g. over the age of six) will likely find such methods dull and juvenile.

Duncan Donuts

Overt and obvious suspense loses an audience. They know that the hero is not going to have a huge boulder dropped on top of him and that he is not going to fall a million feet to the canyon floor. Thus, ending the chapter (or episode) with this kind of obvious suspense will not really keep your readers on the edges of their seats. Over-use of suspense turns a story into a cheap thriller—a book whose sole purpose is to entertain the reader without regard to eloquence and culture.

Elitism

Although we are very fond in general of old books, we do not believe that just because people lived in the nineteenth century they were good writers. Elitism is rampant in older books and American books are not exempt (they tend to be worse, on occasion). Elitism is the view that certain people are smarter than other people simply because they are well-born, more moral because they have received a better education, more beautiful because they are rich, more worthy because they are red Indians, and the list goes on.

To make a well-born man in your story intelligent is not necessarily elitism: elitism lies in thinking that because a man is well-born, therefore he must be intelligent—a sort of Calvinistic pre-damning of a person based on intrinsic and unchangeable qualities rather than on his own actions and choices.

Another common form of elitism is making the heroine marry a duke or other high-born person because a commoner is not good enough for her (implied but rarely stated by the author); or, alternatively, making the hero start out a pauper in order to prove that one does not have to be rich or well-born to be a hero, and then making him turn out to be an earl’s long lost son at the end because you do not believe your own premise.

Foregone Conclusion

Readers love to predict what is going to happen in a story, but they like even better to be surprised by the author, and the last thing you as the author want is for a reader to get tired of your book because he knows what will happen. One of the most common ways to make a story predictable is to use stock scenarios. If a princess is locked in a tower, the readers know that sooner or later a knight in shining armour will appear to rescue her.

This is an obvious scenario and really not used that often, but how about this example: a little boy brings home a lost dog. His parents don’t like the dog and only let it stay on trial. The average reader can guess from this set-up that the dog will save the boy’s life (probably by dragging him from a burning building), get his picture in the paper, and live with the adoring family for the rest of his life. Or take this story: the children’s parents warn them not to do something (i.e. skate on the pond); the children disobey and suffer disastrous results (either drown or are invalids for the rest of the winter).

Too many books and short stories have been written with these scenarios and they are now considered ‘stock.’

Non Sequiter

On the other hand, don’t surprise the reader by ruining the story. Leading your readers on to expect something in the story and then making something completely different happen can make your story an instant success or a hopeless failure, depending solely on how you do it. Making your heroine jilt her lifelong friend for a character who just popped into the story for two seconds, and then thumbing your nose at your readers and saying, ‘Ha, ha! Thought she was going to marry the other guy, didn’t you?’ will not win you fans.

Likewise, although you may not approve of resurrecting people at the end of a story, keep in mind that some characters just don’t die convincingly. Example: chap with a gammy leg appears in chapter one and seems to be someone important. Chap disappears and is later said to have been killed in war. Sanguine readers, however, sit patiently waiting for him to reappear and all characters with gammy legs fall under their immediate suspicion. At the end of the story when the chap from the first chapter (or prologue, as it may be) still has not shown up, the readers feel that somehow the story isn’t over—the author forgot something—when is the chap with the gammy leg going to show up? It is no use for the author to say, ‘But I told you—he was killed in the war!’ The author didn’t tell them that, one of the characters in the story told them that, and they didn’t believe him because the author told them something entirely different by making the chap appear to be someone important to the story in chapter one. Rule of index finger: Chappies with gammy legs don’t die.

Ha ha hmm…

Humour is a good tension reliever, but some authors (predominately contemporary ones) use excessive amounts of rather stale or imbecile humour in poorly-chosen locations, such as the denouement. Also note: repeating a good joke makes it a bad joke.

Jo’s Hat

A jo’s hat is generally intentionally perpetrated by the aspiring author and occurs when something in the story is there simply to be cool and does not really make logical sense. When the villain clutches Jo by the throat and Jo’s hat falls down the stairwell, clattering like a hard hat when it is a soft hat (this was done in a movie and not a book, but the principle applies to both), the director is only interested in the violent echoes caused by this alogism; he does not care that soft hats don’t make noise when they fall down stairwells.

Sometimes, however, jo’s hats are caused by the innocent inattention of the author. For instance, when a character refers to an old college buddy of his, and a second character later relates that said person never went to college, it is simply because the author was not paying attention.

Justification

An author generally justifies a character because he has the uncomfortable feeling that what the character is doing is wrong. If you feel the urge to justify a character, analyse his actions and make sure they do not deviate from sound biblical doctrine. If they do, change them or punish them; don’t justify them.

Sometimes an author justifies a character before other characters in the story because he cannot bear to have his character misjudged by others. Life is all about being misjudged; don’t justify.

Misplaced Climax

The climax typically comes near the end of the story because that is what the audience want most to read. After the climax they are more easily lost. The main mistake of a misplaced climax is making some other event in the story more climactic than the climax. This can be difficult to avoid, but if at all possible rework the story so your audience are not disappointed with an anti-climactic climax.

Necessary Evil

The necessary evil is something in a story which does not make logical sense, but which must happen in order for the story to work. For example, there is no particular reason for a bad guy to wear a mask when he is obviously the bad guy, but the author requires him to so that the hero will not recognise him until the end.

Sappiness

Romantic drivel is unpleasant to the practical sensibilities of many readers. Apparently many people are fond of it, but we believe it better avoided. For instance, don’t make your hero climb a tree to catch a glimpse of the object of his affections, then swoon and fall out of the tree to be rescued by the lady. This sort of thing does not happen in real life (although it really did happen in a sappy book) and nobody really wants it to.

The Dripping Voice

Dialogue should be original; unfortunately, some authors appear to think that saying how someone said the dialogue should be original too. The only quotative verbs really needed are the two words ‘said’ and ‘asked,’ but some authors seem to think these words are stale and repetitive and so make up their own alternatives. In one book an author went so far as to write, ‘My voice dripped with disappointment.’ This conveys the wrong picture to the reader. ‘Said’ may be used over and over, and the reader never notices because it is unobtrusive.

An author may vary ‘said’ with ‘exclaimed,’ ‘muttered,’ or ‘explained’ if he wishes, and ‘demanded,’ ‘repeated,’ ‘vociferated,’ and such may be used as long as they are not over-used. Words like ‘agreed’ and ‘questioned’ as quotative verbs are right out because they distract the reader and interrupt the flow of the dialogue. Words such as ‘bubbled,’ ‘gushed,’ and ‘enthused’ are not only ridiculous but also make your dialogue sound like attempted Tom Swifties.

Example: ‘I’ll never try this experiment again!’ the professor exploded.
Or, ‘See you later, Captain!’ beamed Scottie.

Vale of Tears

This is another Victorian-era gaffe caused by the illogical idea that the more people who die in a book, the better a book it is. We have read several of these and they were not all from the nineteenth century, either. Of particular note was one book which started out with the heroine’s father dying in the second or third chapter, went on to chronicle the death of several other family members, two or three of the heroine’s children (while preserving one or two as chronic invalids), and wrapping up by knocking off the heroine herself—a definite ending point, yet demonstrating a certain lack of preconceived purpose.

Character Goofs

Some of the most destructive mistakes are made with characters. Characters are living, breathing entities, but some authors treat them as paper dolls to merely fill roles in a story. Other authors forget that characters grow and change and, if an author is not careful, become something other than they were intended to be. And still other authors create wonderful characters and neglect them shamefully, never realising their full potential. Thus, we devote the second half of this article to blunders of character.

Author’s Pet

Authors get attached to their characters on occasion. There is nothing wrong with liking your characters, but sometimes you may be so overt about it that the character annoys your audience. Human nature is such that the audience will rejoice in the downfall of a character who is too perfect or too preferred.

Bad Hat

A bad hat is a hero who is supposed to be good but is actually quite bad, such as Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre, or John Wayne in many of his movies.

Falling Star

Some heroes—and other characters—start out great and then let the audience down by gradually getting less great as the story progresses. Most often this happens when the character falls in love with someone; this usually makes him act rather silly and get on the audience’s nerves. Mysterious characters, too, can let the audience down when the mystery is lifted and they turn out to be only ordinary people. The best way to avoid this mistake is to wait until the end of the story to clear up all the mystery about the character. Even better is to retain one or two mysterious things about him that are never explained, even at the end.

Flunkey

The readers should not be too much smarter than the main character. There is no suspense when the main character discovers something that the audience has known for several chapters.

Fresh Fruit

Some authors make the love interest a jerk. This is not generally a good way to make your audience like him.

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

We are greatly adverse to unfairness of any kind; even if it be to a fictional character. A bad guy who is bad because the author needs him to be and not because he is intrinsically bad, claims our, and the audience’s, sympathy. There are always reasons for a bad guy to be bad—he enjoys it, he’ll get something out of it, he has borne a grudge against the hero since they were kids, etc. They may not be good reasons, but a bad guy (and an author) can always find them. Making a character bad just because you want someone to pick on your hero is a waste of a good opportunity: always make the most of your villain and make sure he has a reason for doing what he does.

Lomike

This is a man or boy who does not act like a man or boy but rather more like a girl. This mistake is the result of the author being a woman. On the other hand, a Diverne is a woman or girl who acts too masculine. This can be a result of masculine authorship or simply a result of a woman author who believes girls are better behaving as boys. Avoid both mistakes.

Mannequin

Whoever coined the term stuffed shirt allotted to it the wrong meaning—that of a pedant or a prude. The term brings to our minds a character whose only function is to fill a role—usually that of the romantic interest—and fills it as a dummy—a flat, shapeless mass with no true personality or character. In real life certain people may certainly look as if they were stuffed shirts, but everyone has more deep down inside him than stuffing. Every character in a book should be real and alive.

Mr. Blueweather

Named for an actual character in a story, this is a person without fault who drops lofty judgements from Mount Parnassus down on the heads of refractory characters. He is tedious and universally disliked by the audience, and is only in the story so that the author can preach a sermon to his readers. There are better (and subtler) ways to preach sermons besides putting an annoying character in your books.

Mr. Nice Guy

This character is usually used in war stories and plays the part of an enemy soldier who is nice because the author wants his audience to know that he doesn’t think all Germans (British, red Indians, etc.) are bad. Characters should not be thrown into a story solely to prove a point. Therefore a bad guy whom the author makes nice so that the author can prove he is not biased is a waste of time and generally a shoddy addition to any story.

Nancy Drew

Mystery stories specialise in sleuths who read impossible meanings into cryptic clues. These amateur detectives usually are captured multiple times by the villain during the story and escape in easy and obvious ways.

Peter Pan

In a story that spans several years, the author must not forget to make his characters grow up. Some authors never make a character mature and he rapidly outgrows himself, becoming tiresome to the readers.

Show Stealer

This is a character who takes centre stage when he didn’t start out the main character. In a story with multiple main characters this is unfairness and favouritism on the part of the author. He has a right to do what he likes with his own story, but the audience may never forgive his character if he elbows out their respective favourites.

Stereotype

Stereotypes are a lot of fun, but only when they are used humorously or to prove a point. An author who makes all Americans cowboys or all Frenchmen chefs simply because he doesn’t know anything about Americans or Frenchmen is committing a sad blunder that the Americans and Frenchmen who read his stories may enjoy at his expense.

Super Hero

All heroes should be great, but people who want super heroes read Nietzsche or Marvel comics. Most people want a hero who has problems and weaknesses like everyone else and whom they can sympathise with.

Venus

Always a woman, she is a surpassingly lovely character who receives proposals of marriage from every man in the story. Like the super hero, she gets on the audience's nerves.

Villainous Villain of Villainy

A super villain is more forgivable than a super hero, but an audience usually likes a villain who is a real person and has real problems and weaknesses like the hero. He can be smarter than the hero and should certainly be more mysterious, but he should seem as if he could really exist.

Conclusion: While we have listed many things that we personally feel ought not to be done in a story, it is true that any one of them may be effected by an author with success. For instance, unrealistically evil villains are sometimes splendid additions to a story, jo’s hats and tom swifties may add subtle humour, and boring stretches could (and on occasion have) become the most fascinating parts of the book. Everything depends on how an author ‘pulls it off.’

The insidious nature of these bloomers lies in their ability to pass undetected by the author, because they are only errors when they are unintentional. Therefore, to point them out to other authors and to describe why we ourselves find them objectionable, we hope, has been a useful endeavour.


If you read that entire article, it is either because you really want to improve your writing, or because you have way to much extra time on your hands. Either way, I congratulate you.


If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, do.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, then I realized -- look what's telling me that.

I'm out of my mind right now, but you may leave a message

One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity

One day we'll all look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject...

Don't follow me, I walk into walls.

Duct tape is like the "Force" It has a dark side, a light side and it holds the universe together

There is no 'normal', only varying levels of weirdness.

"Change is good. If you walk in the same direction your whole life, you will eventually hit a tree."

So far, this is the oldest i have ever been.

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Since the universe is infinite than everything is its center, therefore I shall no longer accept any argument to the effect that I am not the center of the universe

Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me there.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried at all.

Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Forgive your enemies, it messes with their head

Fun flies when you’re doing time.

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway

'Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.'

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where is the ceiling?!

Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with dumb people.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the cops.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

My reality check bounced.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get what's coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

If you cannot understand my mind, then I have succeeded in being original.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.

Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures."

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

Whoever said nothing is impossible, obviously never tried to slam a revolving door.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

I hear your silence loud and clear

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey nice carpet!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Life's Tough, get a helmet

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths

The cops never find it as funny as you do

War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left..

If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and be quiet.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian

Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! It's rude!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice!

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

Okay, that rip in the time-space continuum was so not my fault...ish.

My voices tell me that your voices are dorks.

Oh! Look, a distraction!

Sometimes, when I hear a song on the radio, I'm like red, green, red, blue, yellow.

Normal is a setting on a dryer.

In case of emergency, break dance.

Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen and Jacob Black or had their minds poisoned by Justin Bieber or One Direction are quickly becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Do it… DO IT NOW!

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she slipped down it as usual. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You are never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it? If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Songs of TARDISes by hunterofartemis080 reviews
Centuries ago, the Doctor had a little sister back on Gallifrey who could hear the TARDISes sing. OC/OC and Master/OC.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 118 - Words: 291,449 - Reviews: 699 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 14h - Published: 8/12/2013 - [The Master, OC] 1st Doctor, 10th Doctor
The Everyday Misadventures of Earth's Mightiest Heros by Joki of Sassgard reviews
What do The Avengers do when they aren't saving the world? This is a collection of short (well, some VERY short) one-shots I'm writing just for fun! Reviews and ideas would be appreciated. Updates every Friday! Follow and favorite so you don't miss out :D (I don't own the cover art, I just found it on the internet)
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 37 - Words: 19,209 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 7/31 - Published: 8/20/2014 - Iron Man/Tony S., Agent Phil Coulson, Hulk/Bruce B., Captain America/Steve R.
Rose of Hogwarts by Ruth Joyce reviews
"Wait till you read book 7. Oh, I cried." But what the Doctor didn't tell Martha was it was the epilogue that touched him the most, when he found out that Ron and Hermione had named their daughter after Rose Tyler. Short story of Rose and Ten's adventures at Hogwarts. Rated K plus for action and peril.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,152 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/26 - Published: 4/7
Bookmark by A Striped Tigger reviews
Maybe Leo Valdez should have traded Nemesis an eye. It's not like he would have been completely blind without it, and he probably would have been better off with an eye patch than the punishment he's suffering now because as if listening to people read one book of his personal thoughts wasn't bad enough, the demigods are dragging him back to Mount Olympus to read another.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,564 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 7/6 - Published: 2/19
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time by Livin4Jesus reviews
... or Reasons Why Tony and Clint Shouldn't Drink Together. One-shot Series. No Slash. Chapter 68- The Avengers get a dog. Or more specifically, Tony and Clint get Steve a dog for his birthday.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 68 - Words: 117,942 - Reviews: 845 - Favs: 453 - Follows: 441 - Updated: 7/2 - Published: 9/21/2012 - Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B.
Melkor's Restaurant by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
Melkor's Restaurant serves food fit for the halls of Mandos! Only fresh ingredients used. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Open 24/7 every day of the week.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,615 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/30 - Published: 7/13/2014 - Frodo B., Aragorn, Legolas, Sauron
Sexy Beastie OVERLOAD! by lindsey and marie enterprises reviews
A fan-girls teleportation gone wrong . . . or right? Join May and Lucy as they each get sucked into their favorite movies . . . and eventually draw the two movies together. When these two worlds collide, Lord help us all! By Lindsey and Marie
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 14,308 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/9 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Legolas, Capt. Jack Sparrow
Look a Little Closer by Rikki Writinglover reviews
The five times that Tony Stark proved that he was more than the suit, and the one time he didn't have to.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,798 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 457 - Updated: 5/2 - Published: 2/23/2014 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B.
Riddikulus by severinas.96 reviews
A boggart and a Doctor Who fan...
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 668 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/26
Clint and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Aggie2011 reviews
Five months ago, Clint let Natasha Romanoff live when he was supposed to kill her. Now he's been serving out a seemingly never-ending sentence of crappy assignments and he's rapidly reaching his breaking point...and then THIS day happened. *Vantage Point Universe*No-Slash*Pre-Avengers*
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,988 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/8 - Complete
Middle Earth: Its Mental Condition by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
The characters in LOTR might be more mentally handicapped than we think. Diagnoses of all our favourite LOTR characters' mental problems. Bonus! Contains cures. (Some parts only make sense if you've seen the extended editions of the films) (And yes, that picture is a little disturbing)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 8,840 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 3/5 - Published: 5/14/2014
Amazing Middle-earth Vacation Spots by Melkor'sOnlyLieutenant reviews
Sauron has gained the One Ring. So, what does he do first? Why, he sets up Mordor Tours, of course! What is better for the newly oppressed citizens of Middle-earth than to enjoy a vacation in one of the many lovely, former (well, maybe not former) deadly places of Middle-earth? And maybe even some places outside of Middle-earth. CANCELLED
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,267 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 5/15/2014 - Sauron, Orc, OC
You're a genius, Tony by saucymango reviews
Tony Stark, 11 year old billionaire (galleonaire?) genius, is set on impressing everyone at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, his muggleborn status paired with his odd sorting into Slytherin (the home of every notorious douchebag ever), makes that difficult for everyone involved.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,229 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 12/11/2014 - Iron Man/Tony S., Hulk/Bruce B., Pepper P.
A Reasonable Defence by OneSizeFitsAll reviews
Several dislikable characters write a series of papers defending themselves and their actions. Includes good guys as well as bad guys...for anyone who feels like the world doesn't fully appreciate him.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 29,693 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/22 - Published: 5/13/2014 - Faramir, Sauron, Grima W., Nazgul
Avengers of Middle Earth by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
What if it were the Avengers who went to destroy the One Ring? Rated K plus for maybe some disturbing scenes. Please R&R!
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,798 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/22 - Published: 5/17/2014 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B.
Fellowship of the Cosplayers by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
Things could have been much worse for the Fellowship. This proves it. Rated K plus because it is too silly for normal people to read.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,410 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/20 - Frodo B., Boromir, Legolas, Gimli - Complete
Shocked into Reality by Etimire T reviews
What if one morning the Doctor and Sherlock Holmes wake up and realize they've switched bodies? Can they stop the switch from continuing to happen? How does this affect their friends? Now they must travel across universes to find each other and set things right.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 32,755 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 3/11/2014 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Sherlock H., John W.
The Adventure- The Tale Of Two by Airlia207 reviews
Sequel to The Adventure- Well, after only a few major hiccups, they survived...but to be faced with what, exactly? Join our two favourite friends as they battle their way through tantrums, traumas and further embarrassment and continue on their epic campaign to change the world in their own, admittedly strange, way...but do things always go to plan?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,614 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 12/29/2014 - Published: 5/24/2014 - Aragorn, Legolas, OC
A Story of Their Own by Consulting Fangirl reviews
Kid!lock - Young Sherlock comes home one day to discover that his family will once again be moving, and to the countryside. After days of trying to entertain himself with adventures throughout the house, Sherlock decides to wander the surrounding area, and is surprised when he meets another boy of about the same age.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 41,408 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/26/2014 - Published: 9/2/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., Mycroft H.
The Magic School Bus Meets It's Match by TheCrampReturns reviews
Things go sour when Ms. Frizzle decides to take the kids into space yet again. When a Madman with a bow tie comes to the rescue, the Schoolbus kids are left with several questions; who is 'The Doctor? How does he know Frizzle? What does a large blue box have to do with the origins of the Schoolbus? And most importantly, how can they return home after being stranded in 1955?
Crossover - Doctor Who & Magic School Bus - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,629 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/17/2014 - Published: 4/12/2014 - 11th Doctor, V. Frizzle - Complete
Every hero counts by youngjusticefanatic reviews
There's a riot down in Manhattan. Iron Man and Captain America are the first on the scene but they are joined by the vigilante Spider-Man. Although neither is certain about the masked man, they both end up respecting him. Why? How? And who's that kid? (Not OC and better info inside)
Crossover - Spider-Man & Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,253 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 92 - Published: 8/15/2014 - Complete
Dealing by Livin4Jesus reviews
Not all missions end on a happy note. Sometimes things happen that not even the Avengers can prevent or fix. After missions such as these, the team can do nothing but go home and deal with it and they each do so in their own ways, but what Tony does is something that no one, not even his teammates, would have expected. No Slash. One-Shot.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,282 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/7/2014 - Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
Pond & Holmes by weepingdahleks reviews
Meeting in London when they were 9, Amy Pond was interesting to the outcasted Sherlock Holmes when she was introduced to his primary school class at the start of the year 1998, 2 years after Amy met her Raggedy Doctor. The two immediately bonded but lost contact after a few years. When Amy moves into 221B in 2011, she never guessed he would come back after the Weeping Angels.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,798 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/4/2014 - Published: 4/28/2014 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Sherlock H., John W.
The Fandom Games by winterfandom reviews
Due to lack of bonding on the internet, the Fandom Games are formed. During the games, characters from Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Hannibal, Game of Thrones, and The Avengers, must work with, and against, one another in a series of modern day events. Who will be victorious and take home the ultimate prize? Crack fic, has nothing to do with Hunger Games.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 51,550 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 7/24/2014 - Published: 2/16/2014 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Close Enough by Emullz reviews
"Ben! Can you say Narnia?" "Don't say Narnia, that's stupid. Ben, say astrophysics." "He knows four words, Skye, I'm not really sure he can say-" "Narnia! Ben, say Narnia!" Just a short story in which the Penderwick girls attempt to make Ben say words. Some Ben, cause this website is lacking.
Penderwicks series - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 709 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/21/2014
Pop-Tarts by MarvelLuver reviews
This is how the avengers have breakfast in Avenger's tower, earlier known as Stark tower. Includes all 6 avengers, Nick Fury, and Jarvis! Enjoy! :D
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/7/2014 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Iron Man/Tony S., Thor, Nick F. - Complete
Mixture by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
Woohoo! Randomness! My favourite! These are my short one-shots written off of ideas from McJunker's 'Thirty Terrible Ideas for LOTR Fanfics'. Sounds great, right? :P Please read and review! Oh, almost forgot: rated for disturbing endings to some of them.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,599 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/25/2014 - Gandalf, Peregrin T., Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Disney Gone Wrong by Ammamoris reviews
Hey, so this is just a thing that's I've seen a lot of people doing on the internet. This is just a Disney songs that have gone through some Google Translate. I don't know why but I was laughing the whole time while making this. It was just so funny to me. Also if you guys hate this just tell me and I'll stop. Poor Disney.
Misc. Movies - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/19/2014 - Published: 5/10/2014 - Complete
The Child In The TARDIS by AmyOswin27 reviews
The TARDIS was somewhere in time and space. The Doctor was at the console when he heard something. He turned around, sonic screwdriver in hand and saw what he least expected, a little girl.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/13/2014 - 11th Doctor, OC
Gondor High School by Megane-kouhai reviews
LOTR crew's been transformed into high school students! Join the crew through their adventures in Gondor High School (GOS), I will try to include as many characters as possible. No more spoilers :3
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 5,245 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/12/2014 - Published: 4/14/2014 - Elf, Hobbit, Human, Dwarf
A Forever in Red and Gold by Qwerts reviews
Rose, Gallifreyan clothes, and a bored TARDIS- what could possibly go wrong? (Features TimeLady!Rose. Story doubles as a sequel to my other story, "Five Times the Doctor didn't find out that Rose Tyler was a Time Lady", and as a companion fic to LexVictoriaX's story "The Time Lord, the Rose, and the Wardrobe". Can be read on its own, though. Ten/Rose! One-shot) COMPLETE
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,612 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/4/2014 - Published: 3/2/2014 - [10th Doctor, Rose T.] - Complete
Gems Have Feelings You Know And so do Dark Lords by Melkor'sOnlyLieutenant reviews
The Arekenstone has feelings! And it wants to share them. And, of course, Sauron, Melkor, and a Random Silmaril can't resist adding their opinions! Warning: Extremely random, serves no point.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,213 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/25/2014 - Sauron - Complete
The Adventure by Airlia207 reviews
It was supposed to be just another average evening with my best friend, Kate, but what happens when you combine four hobbits, two stressed out friends and sugar? You've got it, chaos, and do not even get me started on the intimidating weapons! And I thought I was safe from going insane for a while...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 82,185 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 5/24/2014 - Published: 2/20/2014 - Aragorn, Legolas, OC - Complete
A Resort for Random Elves by OneSizeFitsAll reviews
Galadriel, Elrond, and Gildor simultaneously decide that blonde elves who never do anything important need to take holidays. But when Haldir, Glorfindel, and Gildor himself all go to the Resort for Random Elves, they find it one of the most strenuous experiences of their lives. It seems nutcases don't get along well together. Until Haldir develops a clever plan.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,624 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/16/2014 - Published: 5/12/2014 - Galadriel, Haldir, Glorfindel - Complete
Estel's hair cut by Beautiful-Chaos-Girl reviews
Fluffy in more ways than one. Estel wrecks havoc at the hair dressers and refuses to get his hair cut. Can his mother and Ada persuade him otherwise?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,702 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/15/2014 - Aragorn, Elrond, Gilraen - Complete
Jarvis' Revenge by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
Sequel short story to Cookies. Jarvis is not happy that he was left out. Neither is Pepper Potts, as it turns out.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/15/2014 - Pepper P., Jarvis - Complete
Hairy Otter and the Philosopher's Loan by Kampe reviews
Hairy Otter knows he's different, (Snack, the snake, speaking was a bit of a giveaway) but he doesn't know everything until the bear-man. Now he's at Logforts Dam of Mustelidae and Magic, brutal at Quidditch and about to battle a librarian-squirrel. The Reason: HAIRY OTTER IS AN ANIMAGUS…and a wizard, but that's been done…The Bibliomaniac's idea in their story De-Aged.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,961 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/14/2014 - Harry P.
Cookies by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey reviews
The Avengers attempt to make cookies. But Earth's mightiest heroes might just need some help. A silly short story about our heroes. Please read and review.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,744 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/13/2014 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Hulk/Bruce B. - Complete
Better Sight by Goldie Gamgee reviews
In the early hours of the morning Samwise Gamgee answers the door to a handsome hobbit lad wanting to marry his daughter. But Sam doesn't want to let his little girl go... one-shot.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/10/2014 - Samwise G., Rosie C. - Complete
Welcome to Night Vale, Madman with a Blue Box by labyrinthofsuffering11 reviews
A little Welcome to Night Vale/Doctor Who crossover, because I was craving this! What if instead of at the end of Earth, the Doctor landed the Tardis in Night Vale? Join Rose and the Doctor on their AU adventures. Stick around, dear listeners, as you learn the true purpose of the madman with the blue box.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Radio Dramas - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,220 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 5/3/2014 - Published: 8/12/2013 - 9th Doctor, 10th Doctor, Rose T., Welcome to Night Vale
The Escalator of Orthanc by OneSizeFitsAll reviews
What if Gandalf was a great enough wizard to do a very simple thing-like, well, opening a door? And what if, instead of a normal staircase in Orthanc, there was a long, spiraling circular escalator with an up/down switch at the top and bottom? And an elevator that goes way too fast? How would the Saruman vs. Gandalf fight have gone then? Well, as it turns out, pretty much the same.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 716 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/2/2014 - Gandalf, Saruman - Complete
Negative Reinforcement by I Don't Know What I Am Doing reviews
Every youngest sibling knows what it is like to have Easter chocolates stolen… even Sherlock. Little bit weird, better than summary, kidlock, one shot, please read, thank you.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 927 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/20/2014 - John W., Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
Little Wholock Chap Mark 20 by The One with Purple Headphones reviews
A rewrite of one of my previous fan fictions, this is in no way a sequel so just read this. The Doctor and John seem to have regressed back into childhood with only Sherlock left to take care of them. What could possibly go wrong?
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,036 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/16/2014 - Published: 3/29/2014 - 11th Doctor, Sherlock H., John W.
Know Your Agents by AvengersIsLife reviews
Do you want to join S.H.I.E.L.D.? Learn the different types of agents, and make sure you know your stuff. This small guide will offer some insight into an agent's actions, but you will need more information in order to join our agency. Actions of agents may vary. (Doesn't really deal with Avengers, mostly with S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,166 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/10/2014 - Complete
After All Is Said And Done by Barton-Lover reviews
It happens quickly. So quickly that he can't even warn anyone. Clint gets sick. And this would be fine if someone could figure out what he is sick with. And the worst part, no one believes that he saw Phil Coulson, alive and well.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 29 - Words: 77,560 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 4/10/2014 - Published: 6/21/2013 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Agent Phil Coulson - Complete
Fangirl Adventures by Anevay reviews
This is more of a Crackfic, my friends. It contains Doctor Who, Sherlock, Classic Sherlock Holmes, LOTR and The Hobbit. Allow me to explain: my dear friend Sarah loves all of those wonderful things, so I threw them into one story. It doesn't make sense, I promise, as there is no logic to it whatsoever, but it's entertaining! (previously The Adventures of Holmes and Watson)
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,846 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/7/2014 - Published: 4/3/2014 - 10th Doctor, Donna N., Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Safe And Sound by Nightstar Phoenix reviews
[One-Shot] Myles and Beckett awaken their older brother in the middle of the night because they are afraid of the storm. [Takes place around TTP.]
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/23/2014 - Artemis F., Myles F., Beckett F. - Complete
The Heroes Of New York by Azulastalker reviews
The Leverage team has a discussion about Hardison's new toys.
Crossover - Leverage & Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/20/2014 - Eliot S., Alec H., Parker - Complete
Pirates of the Caribbean:Port Royal Academy Book 1 by JackyOfTheCaribbean reviews
When a large reward is placed for being in one of the largest school's around, Jack Sparrow finds himself in a bit of a regretful state as he is forced to join the school along with loads of other characters from his past. But with tension rising with a dress-code, lockers, school work and of course the new principal, Jack starts to think he was better off as a care-free pirate.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,927 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/14/2014 - Published: 3/9/2014 - Will T., Capt. Jack Sparrow, Hector B., Angelica
The Archer and the Hitter by rmonroe reviews
Or, the one in which one epic team encounters another, Hardison nearly hyperventilates, Tony texts everyone, and Parker is NOT embarrassing.
Crossover - Leverage & Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/11/2014 - Eliot S., Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
Out of Middle Earth: A Journey Through Time and Space by 13GaladrielofLorien
Teenage Galadriel and her two best friends Celeborn and Melion are teleported to the modern world where they meet five modern day teenagers: Aralynn, Jacen, Bethany, Dae, and Diana. Elsewhere, the 10th Doctor along with companion Rose are accidentally aged down so that they are both teenagers. The twelve of them end up meeting and must unite to save the universe as we know it.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,093 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/13/2014 - Published: 1/20/2013 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Galadriel, Celeborn
The Lord of the Coffee by ElvenWarrior9 reviews
Frodo finds the One Coffee
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/5/2014 - Frodo B., Gandalf, Boromir - Complete
The Right to Rule by Goldie Gamgee reviews
"I'm named after a princess, I am—you have to do what I say!" Faramir Took, Goldilocks Gamgee, Daisy Gamgee and Eowyn & Theodoc Brandybuck discuss ruling rights. 421 words, cute and short.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 427 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/26/2014 - Complete
The Waterfall by Embarrassed-Elf reviews
In Rivendell, there was a waterfall. In Rivendell, there were two mischievous twins who loved fun and games. Particularly ones that made Lord Elrond panic. Funny one-shot: an Estel prank
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/10/2014 - Aragorn, Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan - Complete
Truth or Dare by Epic Elven Warrior Princess reviews
What happens when Earth's Mightiest Heroes, a certain God of Mischief, and a pair of female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, gather in the tower for a game of Truth or Dare? Read to find out. Clint x OC and Thor x OC, with a bit of Pepperony.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 477 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/18/2013
Alice and the Doctor by Cee5 reviews
A crossover, where the Doctor, right after losing Amy and Rory, finds Alice and they both fall down the rabbit hole, into Wonderland. Will possibly become a multichapter fic.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/15/2013 - 11th Doctor, Alice K.
Difficult Children by ArthurDent2 reviews
A kidlock/teenlock, in which John Watson, a sixteen year old boy's family is struggling for money. In order to help out, he applies for a babysitting job for a certain Sherlock Holmes. It's just babysitting, it can't be that hard... right?
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,074 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 9/27/2013 - John W., Sherlock H.
The Alternate Universe Twins by Broken-Rose-Thornesxoxo reviews
Legolas plus William Turner equals what? Chaos? Confusion? Hilarity? Carly and Sarah are about to find out. Of course the outside forces don't exactly help the cause, and what happens when this get really chaotic? Read and you may just find out. Enjoy my lovlies!
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 36,141 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 9/18/2013 - Published: 11/12/2011 - Legolas, Will T.
Tony Learns A Lesson (Or what happens when Clint gets mad) by Blink Floyd reviews
The three times that Tony pissed off Clint, and the consequences that follow. Meant to be humorous, and (kind of) includes team bonding. Just not among Tony and Clint. ;)
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,157 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 7/8/2013 - Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
Spoon- the Story of an Insane 6-year-old by My Dear Frodo reviews
This story is not about a spoon. It's about Spoon, a crazy girl who comes to Middle Earth (no one knows how) and annoys the fellowship.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,781 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/21/2013 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Frodo B., Aragorn, Legolas, Human - Complete
Of Pirates And Our Fairytales by ohmygodwritersblock reviews
Fluffy Kidlock. Sherlock Holmes is seven years old and fine with having no friends. He can play pirates in the woods. Sometimes he even out maneuvers Captain Mycroft while the real stupid, fat Mycroft is being boring in Father's old study. So it is really okay if this new, interesting boy doesn't want to play. Really. He doesn't need John.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/20/2013 - Sherlock H., John W.
Round the Garden by Consulting Fangirl reviews
Kidlock. Young Sherlock has the same nightmares that have become more frequent ever since his mother died. He wakes up in the middle of the night, and must brave his darkened bedroom and the hallway, with all the creatures his mind creates to lurk there, in order to come to the comforting realm of his brother's arms. Mycroft then teaches Sherlock a nursery rhyme.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,957 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/31/2013 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
Everyone can be organised, but why can't you? by flagma reviews
Kidlock: Sherlock has could always put everyone he meets into groups, now all he has to do is find out where new kid John belongs.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,377 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/29/2013 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
The Helicarrier Job by smthwallflower reviews
Coulson confiscates Parker's Bunny. Obviously the team needs to help her get Bunny back
Crossover - Leverage & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,464 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/20/2013 - Complete
Strays by YankeeGirl28 reviews
"What's in your quiver, Barton? And don't get cute." Rated for language.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,137 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 8/15/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Black Widow/Natasha R. - Complete
The Game Changer Job by Sylam reviews
The Leverage team has found their new mark: Panem. In order to take down this monstrous country where teenagers are forced to slaughter each other in the arena, Nate has an idea: Let's go steal the Hunger Games! To do that they will need to help one sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen to win the game.
Crossover - Hunger Games & Leverage - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,568 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/12/2013 - Published: 8/10/2012
Lean On Me by MavenAlysse reviews
They knew each other before and Clint turns to Eliot for support after Loki's control. Friendship fic. Requested by peacefulsands.
Crossover - Leverage & Avengers - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,075 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/12/2013 - Eliot S., Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
Contraire Creations by bkaddictjk reviews
This is a portfolio of the poems that were mentioned in the books written by Trenton Lee Stewart. I thought that we would all like to actually read the poems, so Constance finds a box with all her poems written since the first book on her seventh birthday. Read her poems with The Mysterious Benedict's Society! Titles, verses, and stanzas from the book are in bold.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,864 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/1/2013 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Constance C.
Doctor Seuss by Lord Pyron reviews
The Doctor arrives in a magical realm, where Seuss-ian characters all take the helm. The Sainted Physician who travels through time, lands in a realm where everything is said in rhyme!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Dr. Seuss series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,441 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 9/27/2011
The Ninth Doctor Job by DinerGuy reviews
Parker tries to lift a passing stranger's wallet, only to find that this man doesn't actually have a wallet. Oh well. Psychic paper is much more interesting anyway.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Leverage - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,152 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/4/2012 - 9th Doctor, Parker - Complete
Down, But Not Out by Victoria LeRoux reviews
In which Clint takes a leap, but not one of faith, Tony saves the day with a little help from Clint, they fight mud-monsters which may or may not be golems, and the weather absolutely sucks. Whump and mayhem, as usual. No spoilers.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,360 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 27 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
A Case of Green Smudges and Custard Cream Crumbs by Kirbster12 reviews
AU, KidLock, John Watson starts nursery, and he meets a mysterious detective...I'm terrible at this sort of thing :
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,535 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Payback's a Hulk by Alex Kade reviews
Tony and Clint. Tony and Clint bored and a little pissed off at each other. This can only end in tears... Rated for language. Let the shenanigans begin!
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,776 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 17 - Published: 2/16/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
Guidelines for Living With LOTR and POTC by lindsey and marie enterprises reviews
Lucy has decided to leave some rules for people to follow in case they wind up in similar situations as her and May. By Lindsey ON HIATUS!
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,401 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/16/2012 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Legolas, Capt. Jack Sparrow
Building Blocks by Lumendea reviews
The Doctor just loves these little toys, imagine tiny blocks that hook together. Officially part of the Timey Wimey. Stuff series, but it can be read alone.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 496 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/17/2011 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Courtesy Of Sirius…Or Was It Remus? by ElvenMuggle reviews
Sirius...Or Remus...Decide to lock Lily and James in a room in an attempt to finally bring them together. But, of course, the plan goes wrong and Lily, along with all of the marauders, all end up trapped. And then chaos ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 39,499 - Reviews: 336 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 1/28/2011 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
The Trials of Commentating by PenonPaperFingersonKeys reviews
Lily commentates a Gryffindor/Slytherin Qudditch match, much to the fury of Professor McGonagall. - JP/LE ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,527 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 47 - Published: 1/7/2011 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
To Every Bad Writer this Fandom has by Kissy Fishy reviews
Brace yourselves...
Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,609 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Complete
twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound TARDIS by A. Lee reviews
Parker said at the very beginning that the school sounded fishy ...
Crossover - Doctor Who & Leverage - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,393 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/16/2010 - Donna N., Parker - Complete
Marauders Notes by Paddywhack reviews
Some random notes passed between the Marauders during different classes. Rated T for language. Completed.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 18,413 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/9/2010 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
The Orc Under The Bed by dixiedream1n reviews
Oh, the night-time fears of children...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,409 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Elrohir, Elrond - Complete
Themed Fridays by The Third Marauder reviews
A bored Sirius comes up with idea of themed Fridays and tricks James to participate. The catch? The raven haired quidditch captain must speak in Victorian English for a day. A humorous one-shot. Dialogue only. MWPP era.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,953 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/12/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Nightmare by Culfindae reviews
What started out as every fan girl's dream ended up a nightmare – the longest night of my life. multiple, multiple, multiple cross-overs, if you get the drift. Rated for possible loss of sanity. On hiatus.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,225 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/1/2009 - Published: 5/26/2008
The First Law of the Mithlantil by EDelta88 reviews
How most of the story could have been avoided
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 189 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 17 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Complete
You Are Not Alone by Rosethorn reviews
They are not alone, not anymore. Crossover with The Magic School Bus wait, wait, come back!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Magic School Bus - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Complete
First Meetings by ClashChick reviews
Oneshot. My take on Sirius and Remus' first meeting. Their first meeting is memorable, involving gravy, detention, and notepassing...and an angry Snape:D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,059 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/22/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Extreme Time Twist by Lumendea reviews
Sequel of To the Past From the Future. The time lines of Rose and Doctor cross once more with their future bringing a surprise or five to the past. RoseTen Fluff and family story.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,873 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/12/2007 - Published: 10/13/2007 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
To the Past from the Future by Lumendea reviews
As Martha leaves the TARDIS a former companion returns to it and Rose Tyler has a surprise in store for the Doctor. This story follows the present Doctor and Rose as well as them and their future family. Two time lines to keep track of, have fun!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 15,040 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 9/21/2007 - Published: 8/10/2007 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
The Memoirs of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs by violet-angel07 reviews
The memories of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, four fated young men, remembered by them, written by them... Two are now dead, one is a traitor, and the other, is completely alone... This is their story...Please Read & Review
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 184,248 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 9/14/2007 - Published: 1/16/2004 - Sirius B., Remus L.
The Scientific Notes of Sirius Black by AmazinglyMe reviews
Experiment: See how long it will take Lily to chuck her goblet of pumpkin juice at James... Sirius Black records the misadventures of Lily and James for posterity, Lupin watches in disbelief, and Lily seethes. [COMPLETE]
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,926 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/16/2007 - Published: 3/9/2006 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Browncoats at World's End by Spacebabie reviews
Firefly and PotC Crossover. A device and Tia Dalma sends the Serenity crew back to the 18th century, while Will, Elizabeth and the others search for Jack. Spoilers for DMC and Serenity.
Crossover - Firefly & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 135,847 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/29/2006 - Published: 8/18/2006 - Complete
Celeborn's Club by Erestor reviews
What happens when Celeborn forms a club for Elves who feel Left Out? And what happens when his club just happens to include his archenemy: King Thranduil? Does stupidity ever pay? COMPLETE
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,682 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/22/2004 - Published: 3/6/2004 - Complete
Two In A Tub by adromir reviews
Legolas plus Rain plus Mud equals to DISASTER! And wait until it's time to give the little prince a bath! A certain elven king is going to have the biggest headache ever!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,991 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 20 - Published: 6/7/2004 - Legolas, Thranduil - Complete
The First Responsibility by Amphytrion reviews
A short story involving Elrond's attempts at soothing his new charge. It's just something I felt like writing. There is a slight change in the timeline of Aragorn's mother's death, but only for the sake of writing this. Let me know what you think, please
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 922 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/6/2004 - Elrond, Aragorn - Complete
Elrond and the 101 Mary Sues by Sliven reviews
Elrond Halfelven had 101 extremely gorgeous daughters. They were all getting on his nerves. They were known as the Mary Sues, and they happened to Middle Earth... COMPLETE
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,468 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/26/2004 - Published: 1/16/2004 - Elrond - Complete
The Outer Limits Of THE DUCKY! by LegolasLover2003 reviews
When Will gets an unexpected visit from four dimension hopping Hobbits, things go crazy! Expect plenty of movie crossovers for this one.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,142 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/23/2004 - Published: 7/27/2003 - Frodo B., Will T.
A Course in Facial Contortions by Erestor reviews
Nowadays Elves are always raising one eyebrow. You see it everywhere. But where do they learn how to accomplish this feat? Is it as simple as it looks? Of course not... REVISED May '06
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,582 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/27/2003 - Elrond - Complete
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Of Ice Cream and Nightmares reviews
A collection of tiny Percabeth oneshots. Will be updated sporadically.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/14 - Published: 4/28 - [Annabeth C., Percy J.] - Complete
But Tasha! reviews
Stories where Clint acts like a child and Natasha deals with it. Super short things somewhere between oneshot and drabble length. No real plot, just fluff!
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/7 - Published: 3/31 - [Black Widow/Natasha R., Hawkeye/Clint B.]
Suddenly, A Box! reviews
DOCTOR: No. It's real. A real Pan-dimensional rift! AMY: How can that many houses be in the same place? DOCTOR: Not the same. Two planes, two worlds, two cars parked in the same space. Not just two! They've got a whole car park! Loads of different universes nested inside each other. Now and again they collide, and you can step from one to the other! RORY: Is that an orc battle?
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 1/10 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor
You Are My Sunshine reviews
Really sad Clintasha drabble. Clint comforts Natasha in the ruins of Stark Tower.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/4 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
What An Excellent Fort reviews
Or: That time Tony bought Clint 403 Pillow Pets. Friendship fic.
Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/1 - Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B., Hulk/Bruce B., Jarvis - Complete
We Must Never Speak of This Again reviews
As I opened the refrigerator I felt a slight breeze. Huh, whateves. I grabbed the milk and the chocolate syrup and turned around to set them on the counter. My jaw dropped to the floor and so did the milk. The Fellowship was standing in my kitchen.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 12,432 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 5/23/2014 - Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, OC - Complete
An Obvious Connection reviews
Straight blond hair, tall, blue eyes, 13, athletic, clever. There are TWO different fandoms with a character of that description! So here is my explanation. This is set after all the Penderwick books, and right before MBS crew leave for Nomanson Island. I got the pic from Google images, therefore I don't know who she is.
Crossover - Mysterious Benedict Society series & Penderwicks series - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,694 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/12/2014 - Published: 7/29/2014 - Kate W., Milligan, Skye P., Elizabeth P.
Eyown's Song, a parody reviews
Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me parody from Eyown's view. Funnier than it sounds! ;D
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 402 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/25/2014 - Eowyn - Complete
Rainy Day At Rivendell reviews
(Oneshot) Aragorn lived at Rivendell when he was little, and he was called Estel. This is one of the adventures he had with his elven buddies when he was five. It was raining, so what do they do? Why, prank Lindir of course!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 659 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/21/2014 - Aragorn, Elrond, Lindir, OC - Complete
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