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Joined 04-05-04, id: 566879, Profile Updated: 01-30-10
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, and Naruto.

Obligatory, near pointless and semi-hostile About Me section:

I'm Japanese, English, Italian and British though I appear full Japanese. English is my second language.

I used to be a mild-mannered youth with a secret identity, superpowers and a phonebooth fetish until I realized I wasn't superman. Add two years as a sailor with the crustiest merchant marines on the water, and it shouldn't be a surprise that my writing 'voice' is tainted with the occasional invective, though playful in nature. Which yes, doesn't truly make much sense if you understand the nature of invective. Sadly though, it was the only other way to say that i'm more then willing to cuss like a sailor and tarnish any semblance of professional capacity that I might have, but my lack of correct spelling and grammar in most cases should've given that away by now anyways.


Pumpkin Pie: My obsession over this orange crack makes Lee's youthful fire's look dim. I just don't yell, wear spandex or run around with a 26 year old ambiguously gay man to show it. I thank whatever gods that pity me for that small blessing.

Klondike Bars: I honestly don't find them to be that scrumptous, but anything that makes one think of naked eskimos fighting polar bears with shiny golden butt cheeks bare handed with "what would you do for a klondike bar?" tattooed to their arse should make you smile. Well if you didn't make that connection before I hope that pretty little mental image plagues you whenever you see Klondike bars from now on.

Drawing: The ability to create any image on a whim is a beautiful gift, so of course I enjoy drawing!

Writing: I'm still contemplating my love for this hobby which is fairly fickle at best. My writing style is a combination of sarcasm with extensive imagery, though not as dry and extensive as Hawthorne.

Reading: Doing this my whole life and I love it with a passion. I finally decided to write cause i've read every naruto and Harry Potter fanfiction that's over 700 reviews so far. I kinda need something to do now...damn my library for having nothing new to read

Martial Arts: Nothing says asskicking better then kicking ass. That and it's just a hobby my friends and I all share

Sleep: My OTHER passion. Yes, I have many. I just slept for 16 hours straight, stayed up for 8 hours and went back to bed for 15, and now i'm awake and writing this. When a random conversation came around to what naruto character best described our personalities my friends decided I was a combination of Shikamaru (for my love of sleeping, lazy procrastination habits, and intel, though i find it very flattering), Itachi (cause i'm a cold hearted bastard on the inside. That, and i'm kinda sadistic..kinda) and Naruto (cause i smile and act happy waaay too much.)

Rambling: Yes, this is something I enjoy doing as it makes me seem less..."hinged," and many people start growing nervous as I seemingly ramble on with myself about such pleasantries such as "how exactly i'm going to skin that bastard Alden for taking so long to get here cause i'm hungry" and "all the ways you can actually kill someone that turn their blood black," etc.

good times...good times...

If your still reading I applaud you for your ability to drudge through a mountain of random facts and crap about a person you previously knew nothing about and will most likely never meet or see.

On that happy note, here's my deviantart: www.ryukaikaku.deviantart.com

If your still reading i'd like to say, "get a life" and if you're STILL reading i'd like to say "I freaking love you for reading this far."

(just realized he needs to list his dislikes to keep face)


People who hate pie

People who are closed minded and ignorant (Ignorance isn't a bad thing per say, and it was never intended to be a word with a negative stigma until culture twisted it as such. I just fear that active ignorance of the world around us without any desire to learn is just something that I don't want in my friends. To a degree, we truly are the people we keep around us and I keep that in mind when choosing my friends. Please excuse this blunt admission, but I find the truth a powerful tool for my aims.)

Hell, lets just say people.

Cars, you can't forget the cars because people constantly drive them. That, and recently I was run over on my bike by and old guy who stopped, looked at my bloodied arm and leg, and got back in his car and bolted.

I think he qualifies under people+car. Which equals pain.

Yea, I really don't hate much.

I'm sorry? Haha, just fucking with you. About the sorry part; not the old geezer.

If you have helpful critiques about my writing style and what i can do to improve it, those would be appreciated. If you just say it's bad, or blah blah i'll ignore you or beat you upside the head with the sawed off end of a chicken's head, and if that doesn't work i'll just use the saw. If you feel the need to critique my AU, which there's no reason to since i own it and you'll sound mentally unsound if you do, feel free, but i'll ignore you too.

P.S.-Email me if you'd like to talk to me for w/e reason, get back to u when i can,

Quotes! (There are all mine so please obtain my permission before blatantly stealing them, thank you):

"God should be a girl...cause when everyone always questions why there is war, i'll finally have a reason. God is pms-ing, get the fuck over it yo"

"If you said jump, i'd ask how high. If you said run over and old woman, i'd ask how fast"

"Napalm doesn't kill children, I do"

"Speak softly and carry a big stick. And by big stick i mean a gun, and by speak softly i mean use a silencer" -Variation i made

"Drama? I don't have any. Why? Cause i don't stick my head in a pile of shit and jump out expectin' to be smelling like rainbows"

P.S.S-If you actually read all this I might want to hear the fact that you did in an email. It'll surprise me to holy hell anyways. Haha...crappy oxymoron.

My email is timecat789@gmail.com


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Freak of Nature by michaelsuave reviews
Harry Potter was always called a "Freak" by the Dursleys, the wizarding world often reviled him, and the muggles ignored his abuse or added to it... After all of that abuse, is it any wonder that Harry is going to make the world regret it? W!Dark Animal H
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 124,384 - Reviews: 1161 - Favs: 2,613 - Follows: 2,720 - Updated: 9/3/2013 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Who I Am by TwinTrouble reviews
Naruto has been keeping dangerous secrets for years. A long-forgotten dream that just won’t die, an ally he shouldn’t know and a friend no one thought he had are what keep him going. Graduating is the least of his problems…
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 113,164 - Reviews: 2458 - Favs: 4,914 - Follows: 4,719 - Updated: 1/10/2011 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Again by kimcat reviews
Naruto get's sent back in time to when he was 12, only problem is, he is a genin when technically he is an Anbu. He is married to Hinata so Naru x Hina.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 90,080 - Reviews: 2828 - Favs: 3,373 - Follows: 3,353 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 6/12/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Eternal Divide by kaze543 reviews
The Shinigami is an immortal being, is it not? but Naruto still chooses to challenge it.Every human has a limit but Naruto will try the nigh impossible in an attempt to regain something he lost...his eyesight.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,228 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 7/8/2008 - Published: 4/14/2008 - Naruto U.
Naruto: Altered History by Geor-sama reviews
Meet Uzumaki Naruto, the number one prankster ninja. He lives in Konoha...and has a dark secret so large that NOBODY knows, not even Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 323,140 - Reviews: 2334 - Favs: 4,349 - Follows: 2,369 - Updated: 4/23/2008 - Published: 9/11/2006 - Naruto U., Ino Y. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Relapse reviews
The past comes back to haunt Naruto, but in a way more real then any memory. What happens when Naruto awakes to find himself in his 13 year old body? Slight angsty Naruto at the beginning, changes later.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,989 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/16/2008 - Published: 4/14/2008
The Marauders: World Scale
The Destined is the project codename for the world government's solution to the Dark uprisings seen globally in the past few years. The governments call them "The four," but they've decided to name themselves "The Marauders." HP world,No Hogwarts,5th year
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,651 - Published: 2/4/2008
The Beaxubaton Enigma
Desire something other then the rehash of every other potter story where a simple change to the timeline alters everything BUT the annoying need to revisit the philosophers stone, chamber of secrets, etc? Well this is OC but not AU. Try something new!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,517 - Published: 1/14/2008 - OC
Harry Potter and the Shadow Grade reviews
What if Harry never goes to Hogwarts? What if he never goes to a magical or muggle institution to begin with? This is the story of DWAG, and Harry's part in the world order. New Powers, roles, and education. Not Super Harry. Parings: Undecided. Book 1
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,746 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/6/2007 - Published: 12/5/2007 - Harry P., OC