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Joined 04-12-04, id: 571336, Profile Updated: 02-14-11
Author has written 7 stories for Naruto, Air Gear, Full Metal Panic, and Haruhi Suzumiya series.

Name: thephaw - nickname I've had since I hilariously misspelled my own last name when I burned it into a bowl during a junior high shop class

Gender: The chauvinistic pig-like one though I may or may not have any chauvinistic or pig-like traits

Age: Some time between gestation and death. Your guess is as good as mine O_O

Horoscope: Taurus and year of the Ox. Mooo!

About Me:

Hey I'm thephaw and when I'm bored, I write fanfictions. Why? No reason, sometimes I just get random ideas that pop into my head and I wanted to put it down on paper... err e-paper or whatever... Just don't expect my stories to be WTFBBQSAUCEAWESOME!

I love manga. I'm generally a sucker for anything with comedy. And I love suspense/thrillers... like Deathnote which is probably one of my all-time favorite manga. I'd write a fanfic on it... but I have no ideas.

As for the anime... bleh. The manga is usually a billion times better than any anime that comes after it. I do occassionaly watch original animes though. I also love anything by Miyazaki cuz that guy is just a genius.

Anyways, read my stories if you want. I generally don't care anymore if people read or review. But if you have any suggestions or whatever for any of my stories, feel free.


Likes: Skittles, Playing Games, Writing, Reading, and a ton of other stuff that I can't be bothered to think of right now

Dislikes: Twizzlers, Stupidity, Arrogance, and some of those extreme difficulty missions in Trauma Centre: New Blood for the Wii (Why does fake surgery have to be so damn hard?)

Games you should play:

Rune Factory Frontier (Wii) - From the creators of Harvest Moon. I've never played the Harvest Moon games (cuz farming turned me off) but I'll tell you that RFF is way too fun for it's own good. There's just so much to do that I wish there was more time in a day to play it. It's pretty much a farming sim, social sim (like animal crossing), dungeon crawler, and RPG all in one. If you've never played this type of game before, I recommend at least renting the game to see if it's your thing. I was skeptical about it at first but once I got into it... Rune Factory just got a new rabid fan.

Trauma Centre: New Blood (Wii) - If I had this game when I was a kid, I would have aspired to be a surgeon. That's how much fun this game is. Don't be fooled... this is NOT a surgery simulation. This is pure arcade-like action goodness dressed up as a game about surgery. Realism is traded for more fun tools such as the magic fix-it goo (antibiotic gel) and lasers (for those dastardly viruses that cut open organs and drops tumors like bombs). The voice acting is surprisingly good but the story is meh and the intro reminds me of House's intro with better music. But be forewarned, the game is hard; that's part of the enjoyment. This game is for sadistic people who enjoy difficulty; especially those like me who aren't satisfied until they get top ranks on the hardest missions.

World of Warcraft (PC) - Really fun... but only when you're level 80 and raiding the latest dungeons. Leveling is a chore and PvP is an imbalanced joke so I wouldn't bother with those. But raiding (both 10 man and 25 man) is a true team effort and is ridiculously fun as long as you're with a good guild. And don't believe people who say only fat nerdy losers play WoW. The player-base is really diverse; guys and girls ranging anywhere from 12 year-old brats to professional people like doctors and lawyers (there's one in my guild, haha). You'll have to make friends if you want to get anywhere in the game and it's always interesting talking about weird crap over vent during raids where everyone is having a blast.

Braid (PC and Xbox 360) - A 2-D side-scroller. It plays like Mario and even has some nifty Mario references (The princess is in another castle!) but the similarities end there. In Braid you play as some middle-aged looking guy named Tim who wears a business suit. His goal? To save some princess who is apparently holed up in some castle somewhere. As you go through the levels, your goal is to collect puzzle pieces. Sounds simple, right? Well it's not. Getting the puzzle pieces are puzzles in themselves, almost always verging on impossible through normal means. They're always in plain sight but getting to them will require extensive thinking... and Tim's ability to rewind time. I suggest you find a real review to find out more about this game. It's worth it. By the way, the last level is sheer genius. It's like-HOLY S&#T!-and blows your mind with it's awesomeness.

Plants vs Zombies (PC) - I was surprised at how fun this game was. The premise? Zombies are attacking your house and they want one thing... YOUR BRAINS! Your only defense happens to be your garden of zombie killing plants. If you've ever played a tower defense game then you should know what to expect. Zombies travel across your lawn and you need to lay down plants to kill them before they can get to your house. The zombies are not to be underestimated, however. They can equip buckets on their heads, pole vault over your defenses, dig underground, and drive zamboni machines, among others. There's even a zombie (looks like Michael Jackson) who does the thriller dance and summons backup-dancer zombies as they proceed to maul your plants to get to your brains. Just play it! Be warned though, it gets addictive.

Manga you should read:

GTO: Stands for Great Teacher Onizuka. It's a classic. If you can get over the art style (you'll get used to it after a while) the story is well done. You'll laugh and cry... it's an emotional roller coaster. Definately one of my favorites.

Death Note: A great read. The art is great and the story is full of suspense to keep you on the edge of your seat through most chapters. The two main characters (Light and L) are well done and you'll end up rooting for one of them or maybe even both. The 'I know that he knew I knew he knows' internal monologues get a bit ridiculous sometimes but overall it's a great read.

GANTZ: This is the most unpredictable manga I've ever read. You never know what will happen. Main characters will die. Stories will go in different directions. The monsters and aliens they fight are just... weird. (The lastest one is a giant naked woman made out of other naked women wtf is this mangaka smoking!?)

Beezlebub: About a guy who finds a demon baby and now has to raise it. A hilarious good time.

One Piece: It's now my favorite manga of all time! And I don't really like the art, now that's saying something. Seriously, this manga is totally unpredictable and like a roller-coaster of emotions. Like GTO, you'll laugh, you'll cry (or at least have this huge lump in your throat), and you'll keep wanting more when you get to the latest chapters. In my opinion, One Piece is like a billion times better than Naruto and Bleach combined, both of which are really overrated in terms of story and character.

Fairy Tail: Typical shounen action manga. I like it a lot better than Naruto or Bleach. The characters are just so much more endearing and the story doesn't take itself too seriously which is a good thing in my book. Plus, it's a lot like One Piece, which is a huge plus in my book.

Gamble Fish: The main character is a crazy badass. And every arc, he gets crazier and even more badass if you can believe it. A psychological thriller on par with Liar Game and Deathnote in my opinion. Read now!


Pairings I like:

SasuxSaku: I know there are a ton of people who don't like SasuSaku for whatever reason. For me they just work. Sasuke needs somebody to love him and Sakura seems to love him pretty completely. Yes I know Sasuke is one cold-hearted bastard but it's not his fault. And the Shippuden Sakura is stronger and less insecure and I think the new Sasuke is opening up a little too. They make a good couple.

NaruxSaku: I honestly like this pairing more than NaruHina. They seem to know each other and understand each other pretty well. And although Sakura seems to like yelling at him and beating him up for his stupid/perverted antics, I think they have a great chemistry together.

NaruxHina: I don't mind this pairing. Pairing up the future Hokage with the future heiress to the Hyuuga clan has a certain appeal to it. My only complaint is that Hinata is a little too shy for my tastes. And Naruto is as far from shy as you can get. I know opposites attract but it gets a little ridiculous.

ShikaxTem or ShikaxIno: I like both pairings equally. Shikamaru is just that lazy bastard that wouldn't do anything unless agressive women like Temari or Ino put him in his place. If you think about it, Temari and Ino are really similar. Both are self-confident, domineering, and 'troublesome' women with hidden soft sides. They're perfect for Shika. And though canon screams ShikaTem, I believe ShikaIno would work perfectly well.

SousukexChidori: Super dense military otaku = win. Violent hot-blooded tsundere-type character = also win. They were made for each other. As for Tessa, she's super cute and everything but it's obvious that Sousuke has no romantic interest in her. In fact, I kind of feel sorry for Tessa. She deserves love too! In any case, there's so much sexual tension building up in the anime and light novels that when they finally admit their feelings and get together, I demand that their universe detonate--no, explode--no, EXPLODONATE with awesome.

IchigoxOrihime: I'm sorry but that scene where Orihime chats up a sleeping Ichigo right before she leaves to Hueco Mundo won me over. Seriously, before that scene I really didn't care who Ichigo ended up with. I mean, Rukia is nice and all but I don't see her being with Ichigo. I also liked the idea of an IchigoxNell pairing when her um... adult form, was revealed. But now, not so much. Ichihime ftw!

Where I stand on Yaoi:

Sorry, but being a straight guy, I don't really read, write, or advocate yaoi in any way. If you enjoy it, good for you, I have nothing against that. I just assume that the majority of yaoi is written by fangirls for fangirls and so would be fairly unrealistic. So unless more gay people start writing fanfics, I question the honesty of the majority of yaoi fics out there.

What about Yuri:

I don't read this either... though I admit I wouldn't mind reading these, lol. I know, hypocrite, right? I think it's just because I'm a typical guy. And what kind of straight guy wouldn't want to see two (or more) hot women going at it?


I don't mind them but honestly, I think things like these are better left to the reader's imagination. But that's just personal opinion. If you want to write out sexually explicit scenes in your fanfics, they'd better be good or I would just feel cheated or disappointed, especially if the story would've been better off without it.

Where I stand on OCs:

If they're well written, I love them. People tend to Mary Sue or Gary Stu their characters though. I always wince when I read about characters that seem invincible, or can do no wrong, or have no real weaknesses. They just become static characters who ruin the canon characters around them. I also hate those self-insertion stories. They're usually just as bad.

Favorite Quotes:

"You shouldn't take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive."

"I came here to chew bubblegum and kick a#&, and I’m all out of bubblegum." - Duke Nukem

"Don't argue with idiots. First they bring you down to their level, then they beat you with experience."

"You can finish a race by walking, but you're not going to get any recognition or respect for it."

"In Soviet Russia, road forks you!"

"I'm out of my mind please leave a message."

"Oh-Ya!"- Kool-Aid Man

If Rock Paper Scissors were an MMO:
Rock: Nerf paper, Scissors is fine

"...If life feels like might as well make friends with the devil."

"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

"Milk... good for the bones... good for the kids... I pity da foo that don't got no calcium in his diet!!" - Mr. T

You've fallen into a Sarchasm.
It's the gap between someone being sarcastic, and you picking up on that sarcasm

"Time is a waste of Life. Life is a waste of Time. Therefore, get Wasted all of the Time and have the Time of your Life."

"He who dies with the most toys wins."

My Stories:

An Ardent Path to Redemption - A what happens if Sasuke were trained by Kushina instead of Orochimaru. Currently struggling with chapter 4 because there are just so many possibilities with this fic. Especially the way I set things up... (sigh).

Beyond Ambitions - A story that continues from chapter 213 of the manga. Sasuke doesn't train with Orochimaru and instead trains himself for his avenger goals. Naruto and his new team are sent off to find him and the story takes off from there. When inspiration hits I'll update it. I wrote it without a plan for the plot and now I'm kind of snagged on where to go with it. So for now it's on hiatus.

Children of the Sky - An Air Gear / Naruto crossover. A story where Ikki and the rest of Kogarasumaru are sucked into Naruto's world. Think a Naruto story where he gets ATs and he's mentored and trained by the Air Gear teens.

Our Dumb Village - A satirical look at the Naruto world through panel discussions, newscasts, and interviews. Pretty much just pure crack. Seriously, don't read this crap. It's just something for me to vent random ideas out.

Broken Whispers - A Naruto/FMP crossover. Set when both Naruto and Sousuke are children.

The Jutsu of Haruhi Suzumiya - What happens when Kyon and Haruhi find themselves in the Narutoverse. Written in the narrative style of the Haruhi Suzumiya series.


Copy and Paste Fun!

(These are just parodies of copy and paste snippets. Feel free to copy and paste them into your own profiles though.)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're truly part of this ninety-five percent that helps the other five percent think they're somehow special, copy this in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are part of this overwhelming majority, shake your head in shame at your own stupidity while at the same time patting yourself on the back for having the courage to try new things. When you're done that, copy&paste this in your own profile.

If you have ever run into a door which happened to be attached to a tree, because you tripped over your own feet causing you to fall up a set of stairs into a two story bus just before watching it run over somebody you hated, copy this into your profile.

(Insert random number from 1 to 99 here) percent of people enjoy copying and pasting random and pointless junk into their profile. If you are part of the other (Subract your first random number from 100 and put it here) percent and you copied this into your profile anyways, you sir/madam, are a fricking hypocrite.

92 percent of of American teens would die if Ambercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you're one of the Canadians who would support this 92 percent just for the entertainment their idiocy could potentially provide.

If you are against child abuse, put this in your profile. However, you must also dislike abusive children.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, yet the door was actually not a door but a wall because you were too drunk to realize it, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever felt like killing somone (or more than one person) and you actually went through with it, do not copy this into your profile. Instead, for the love of God, report yourself to the proper authorities before you do it again!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Laughing Fox by Lord Dragon Claw reviews
What if Naruto were to be raised by the Joker? Such an idea is so wrong, and yet so right. Not to be taken too seriously.
Crossover - Naruto & Justice League - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 78,908 - Reviews: 1535 - Favs: 3,133 - Follows: 2,710 - Updated: 3/18/2014 - Published: 6/1/2007 - Naruto U., Joker
Final Fantasy Versus XIII: Fortis by Animangame02freak reviews
Elia never expected that she'd be caught in the mix of the war in Tenebrae. She never dreamt to meet Noctis, a prince with mysterious powers and to become his friend. And as events begin to unfold with a tragic past retold she learns more about her own...
Final Fantasy Versus XIII - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 80 - Words: 215,695 - Reviews: 1003 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Noctis
A Day in the Life by Ada Kensington reviews
Uchiha Sasuke keeps a diary during his employment at Otogakure Enterprises. A great, big bucket of moreish crack.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 427,567 - Reviews: 857 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 3/19/2012 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Sasuke U., Orochimaru
The Will Born in Fire by EdStargazer reviews
A fleeing spy attacks the Academy after Naruto has failed his second attempt at passing the Genin Exam. Naruto is the hero of the moment but for every heroic act there is a price to be paid. Chaper 36 Homeward Bound?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 180,676 - Reviews: 1805 - Favs: 2,362 - Follows: 2,315 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 1/27/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
A Mother's Love: The Life of Kushina by lord of the land of fire reviews
Prequel to A Mother's Love. Long before she ever met the man she would fall in love with she knew both the sweeteness of triumph and the bitterness of defeat. Kushina X Minato
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 111,063 - Reviews: 1123 - Favs: 649 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Minato N., Kushina U. - Complete
LoveHateTragedy by allurement reviews
FugakuKushina. MinatoKushina. “I must have been a very special kind of stupid to fall in love with you,” Kushina says. Fugaku just wishes that she were his.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,033 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Fugaku U., Minato N. - Complete
Love, or something like it by The Dirtwater Fox reviews
When everything is makebelieve, if you hope hard enough, can it be made real?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,760 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/12/2006 - Published: 6/19/2006 - Ino Y., Naruto U. - Complete
Bloodlines by The SOC Puppet reviews
Knocked unconscious by Orochimaru's attack, Naruto awakes to discover a shocking secret about himself.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 163,000 - Reviews: 2268 - Favs: 2,695 - Follows: 1,826 - Updated: 3/18/2006 - Published: 5/20/2003
Konoha's Guardians by Silver Dragonfly reviews
Human & Guardian Spirit, Boy & Kitsune, Naruto & Kyuubi this was the first bonding, the catalyst that set everything in motion. [NarutoHinata, Sakura?, Sasuke?, Neji?]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 36,335 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 9/3/2004 - Published: 10/16/2003 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] Sasuke U., Sakura H.
What happens when Shikamaru takes love advice from three of the most unlikely people ever......utter and total chaos! How troublesome. ONE SHOT (ShikaIno)
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,691 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/14/2004 - Complete
Wasted Years by Mizerable reviews
Had they known the paths their choices would lead them to, would they have changed anything? A bitter introspective about people learning what it means to live.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 91,224 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 10/9/2003 - Published: 5/24/2003 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Jutsu of Haruhi Suzumiya reviews
Kyon is a normal high school student. At least he was until he, and an eccentric classmate of his, find themselves in a world of ninja.
Crossover - Naruto & Haruhi Suzumiya series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,245 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 9/10/2009 - Published: 7/31/2009
Broken Whispers reviews
Having his village cruelly ripped from him and thrust into a world where technology rules, Naruto is just about to give up all hope. That is until a man discovers Naruto's potential and trains him as the soldier he was destined to become.
Crossover - Naruto & Full Metal Panic - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,883 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Naruto U.
Blind Loyalty reviews
My name is Naruto and I'm struggling for redemption. But fighting for my country isn't enough anymore. No, I needed something else. I needed someone, ANYONE, for whom I could gladly risk my life. But I never thought that kind of person could be my enemy.
Crossover - Naruto & Full Metal Panic - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,634 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/13/2009 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Naruto U.
Children of the Sky reviews
The desire to fly with 'real' wings was what motivated Ikki the most, even in a world full of ninja. But it would be boring to soar by himself. "Naruto, you want to become Hokage right? Lame. Why limit yourself? Why not reach higher and aim for the sky?"
Crossover - Naruto & Air Gear - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,764 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 4/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2009 - Naruto U.
Our Dumb Village reviews
Keep up to date with the important issues facing your favorite village hidden in the leaves with hard-hitting and unbiased news stories, studies, and reports. Warning, satirical humor inside.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,489 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/9/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Complete
An Ardent Path to Redemption reviews
There was nothing that could stand between Sasuke and his revenge; not his closest friends, not his worst enemies, not even himself. His vengeance all but consumed him until he stumbled across someone who everyone thought was dead - Kushina Uzumaki.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,538 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/19/2009 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Sasuke U.
Beyond Ambitions reviews
Everyone has ambitions that drive them. Sasuke's revenge. Orochimaru's lust for power. Naruto's recognition. Even Itachi has his own goals. But what happens when their ambitions conflict and change? Who's ambitions will come out on top?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 41,277 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/5/2008 - Published: 4/13/2004