Best Bones Quote Ever: Season 1 episode 1
Brennan: What if Booth's right? What if I'm only good with bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Brennan: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting leap from "people" to "men," but I'm sure it means nothing.
Brennan: I hate psychology. My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.*
The Best House M.D. Quote Ever: Season 4 episode 15
Cuddy: You're convinced your patient is dying and you want to waste your time with a sex fantasy?!
House: Don't blame me, blame my gender.*
Did you know the average American only reads three books a year!?! If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. (HOW IN THE WORLD COULD YOU READ THIS LITTLE...AHHHH YOU CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!!!)*
I Find This Really Sweet
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.*
*A True Boyfriend =
When she walks away from you mad
When she stare's at your mouth
When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong
When she ignore's you
Give her your attention
When she pull's away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
When she misses you
she's hurting inside
When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away
When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking babe?"*
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car”*
I think people should read this if they HATE child abusing. I found this really sad. Who would want to abuse a three year old little girl? If you HATE child abusing or just if this makes you cry like me, copy and paste this to your profile.
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!" I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!*
I'm an atheist but this made me cry
I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told Daddy to tell Mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want Mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my Mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but Daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that Mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my Mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My Mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: Two days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have two choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you.*
What a kiss means:
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
Picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"*
Try Not To Cry :(
Money ... Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, got straight A's, and I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day, I never said goodbye,
I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack, my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear, sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best,
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, and please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one though, deserves this,
But Mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try,
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could,
Please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go with college, I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, on that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy, I must go now, the time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel our date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know it's true,
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you."
In memory of the Columbine and Virginia Tech Students
Who were lost
Please, if you would, don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry.
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Goodbye".
Now you have 2 choices;
1.) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try not to Cry"
2.) Don't post it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are ...*
Female Pick up line comebacks:
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing
Man: Can I have your number, I've lost mine?
Woman: You'd probably 'lose' mine too by tomorrow.*
If you can read this copy and paste it onto your profile
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!*
That boy you punched in the halls? Just committed suicide a few minutes ago.
That girl you called a slut today? She's a virgin.
That boy you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family.
That girl you pushed down the stairs yesterday? She's already being abused at home.
That girl you called fat? She's starving herself.
That old man you made fun of because of his ugly scars? He fought for our country.
The boy you made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.
You think you know them? Guess what, you don't.
Repost if you are against bullying. I'll bet 98% of you don't, there may be 2% with a heart.*
My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me: RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me: LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me: FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."
My mother taught me: IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of: OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about: STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
My mother taught me: WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about: BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
My mother taught me about: ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
My mother taught me: GENETICS
"I swear you're just like your father."
My Mother taught me about: MY ROOTS
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My Mother taught me: WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
My mother taught me about: JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
Love you, Mom!*
Sixteen ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.
7. Don’t use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON!! I WON!!”
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
15. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.*
Phrases & Quotes I like:
"Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. "
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. "
"If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough. "
"Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. "
"Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. "
"Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE. "*
PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re- post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!!!
It's sad that some people could actually be like this
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! Copy and paste this if you have ever wondered the same thing.
"I have an army."
"We have a hulk."
"I have fangirls."
"...Mother of Odin."