AnNaLeE m O'bRiEn
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Joined 04-27-04, id: 579862, Profile Updated: 04-18-12
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, Harry Potter, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Age: 22
Fav movies: TWILIGHT, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON (Not the ending...that sucked), THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PT. 1 Percy Jackson, LOTR, Harry Potter, National treasure, National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Fav TV Shows: Grays Anatomy, Private Practice, American Idol, Gilmore Girls, Charmed, 24, Fringe

A wise man once said that a black man would be President when pigs fly. Sure enough, 100 days into Obama's presidency swine flu.

Three men and a Genie
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a
Marine are all walking together one day. They come
across a lantern ...
And a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you
one wish, which is three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also
farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in
Canada "
POOF! With the blink of t he Genie's eye, the land in
Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Afghanistan , Pakistan , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels,
Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land."
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,
there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Marine says, "I am very curious. Please tell me
more about this wall." The Genie explains,
"Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely
surrounds those countries. Nothing can get in or out;
it's virtually impenetrable."
The Marine sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says,
"Fill it with water."

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pasture.
But the most compelling evidence of all -- 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do

You know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs and grandma and grandpa
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Fuck,we really messed up"
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall
BEST FRIENDS: Continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "RUN, BITCH RUN!"
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when your rejected.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number
BEST FRIENDS: Asks for their own number
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste
FRIENDS: Will be their when he breaks up with you
BEST FRIENDS: Will prank call him saying, "You have seven days to live"
FRIENDS: Will go to the concert with you
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with you
FRIENDS: Help you up, when you fall
BEST FRIENDS: Laugh their asses off because they tripped you
FRIENDS: Ask you for your address
BEST FRIENDS: Practically live at your house
FRIENDS: Accidentally leave their stuff at your house and pick it up in a day or two
BEST FRIENDS: Leave their stuff at your house and come back in a week to pick it up

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and alot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: For Always (live) – Josh Groban

Waking Up: Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word – Elton John

First Day At School: Smile Like You Mean It – The Killers

Falling In Love: Don’t Let it End - Styx

Fight Song: My Girl - Aerosmith

Breaking Up: I Go to Extremes – Billy Joel

Prom night: All Through the Night – Cyndi Lauper

Life: The Battle of Evermore – Led Zeppelin

Mental Breakdown: It’s Your Love – Faith Hill

Driving: In God’s Country – U2

Flashback: Under Pressure - Queen

Getting back together: The God That Failed - Metallica

Wedding: The Only Exception – Paramore

Birth of Child: Total Eclipse of the Heart - Westlife

Final Battle: Meaning – Gavin Degraw

Funeral Song: Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? – Van Morrison

Final Credits: My Immortal – Evanescence

What is a 710 knob?
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten knob.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?'
She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine,
I have lost it and need a new one.. ' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was,
but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and
asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'
She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' If you're not sure what a 710 is Click on this
This was really funny

You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Try it without looking at answers
1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….
5) Add the digits together
Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL
is from the list below :
1. Einstein
2. Nelson Mandela
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Brad Pitt
8. Hitler
10. Barack Obama
PS. Stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!
Now copy and paste this into your profile, and change your name in #9.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? On my lip...I walked into a wall.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? New Moon, Twilight, The Joker, Pirates, and Tinkerbell posters
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? Talk in my sleep & Grind my teeth.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Anything except rap
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? To finish reading It By Stephen King
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? My best friend.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? Don't know...and not worried about it right now
27. WHAT KIND IS IT? A dog and a bunch of fish
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? My brother
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? I don't know
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Yes...Lauren Conrad
37. FIRST JOB? Library
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? to meet Robert Pattinson
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? 2...a boy and a that order
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No...But my name is in a song
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? yes...when i can see him
52. ANY BAD HABITS? bite my nails
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? be mad at everyone
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? um...don't have one
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? caring, loveable, polite, kind, ect.
68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? See top of profile
69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? I don't want to disclose any of that information
you notice there isn't a #59? Or a #73? Well,this is number 73
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? I don't know
86. EYE COLOR? hazel
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Jan. 14...My B-day
95. KISSES OR HUGS? both
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Max A Maximum Ride By James Patterson
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: I don't have one right now!

Things to Do in WalMart When Bored
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Start a fish-stick fight.
20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.
25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.
26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you aisle eight..."
28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".
29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.
30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.
31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.
32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.
33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.
35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyrami
36. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
37. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
38. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
39. Mark out price tags with a sharpie
40. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
41. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
42. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
43. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
44. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
45. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
46. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
47. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
48. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
40. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
41. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
42. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
43. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
50. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
51. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
52. Play with the automatic doors.
53. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
54. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
55. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
56. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
57. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
58. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
59. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
60. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.
61. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"
62. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
63. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
64. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
65. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
66. Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
67. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
68. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
69. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
70. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

Grandmas Don't Know Everything
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked, 'Grandma, what's that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling'.
Little Tony just said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't
called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. (HaHaHa Funny)

Spread the Stupidity
Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America people order double c heeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli ' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! !
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

A man was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when he turned toward her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger.'
The little 8 year-old girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the man, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don¹t know,' said the man, 'How about nuclear power?'
'OK' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A Horse, a Cow, a Deer and a Rabbit, all eat grass, the same stuff! Yet the Deer excretes big pellets, the Rabbit small ones, while the Cow turns out a flat patty, and the Horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger thinks about it and says. 'Hmmm, good question, I have no idea!'
'Well', the little girl responded opening her book again, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'

Pick The Month You Were Born In:
1.(jan)~i killed
2. (feb)~i needed
3.(mar)~i ran naked with
4.(apr)~i jumped
5.(may)~i had sex with
6.(june)~i shot
7.(july)~i banged
8.(aug)~i luved
9.(sept)~i ran shirtless with
10.(oct)~i robbed
11.(nov)~i slapped
12.(dec)~i stabbed
Pick The Day You Were Born On:
01.~two bi chicks
02.~a homeless guy
03.~ jacob black
04.~a mop
05.~Barney the dinosaur
06.~ edward cullen
07.~a stripper
08.~my luver
09.~my ex boy/girl friend
10.~bella swan
11. ~ a movie star
12.~the school slut
13.~a hooker
14.~a drunk
15.~a crack head
16.~a hottie
17.~a cat
18.~a teletubby
19.~a homo
20.~paris hilton
21.~ mike newton
24.~a rockstar
25.~your toothbrush
26.~a glass of milk
27.~the kool-aid man
28.~a french fry
29.~a lesbo
30.~a evil boy aka emo!
31.~jerry the snow man
Pick The Color Shirt You Are Wearing
white~because that hoe stole my taco
black~because im the sexiest beeoch alive
pink~because emmett told me to!
red~because i bringing sexy back yepp!
brown~ because bella is my freind
polka dots~my azz is perfecto!
purple~cuz im gangsta my home skillett biscut lol!
gray~because im kool like dat
other~because i have double d's
green~im a freak'n tree hugger thats why!
orange~because i look like lindsy lohan
maroon~because im a preppy
turquoise~because i love water yeah baby!
blue~because edward dazzles me!
tye dye~because im a fucking suba diver you got a problem with that didnt think so!
none~cuz i have a killer six pack
yellow~because i want chips!!
Put It All Together and Laugh Your Head Off!
I killed a drunk because Edward dazzles me! (Face it, it could so totally happen)

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.
Poppy could feel mother's pain.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
The end table in my living room
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The Forgooten
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The TV
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
6:45 coming home from babysitting
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Reading fanfics, watching TV, and facebook
9. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a black and blue quater sleeve shirt
10. Did you dream last night?
11. When did you last laugh?
8-10pm During American Idol
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Twilight, New Moon, Pirates, Tinkerbell, and The Joker posters
13. Seen anything weird lately?
14. What do you think of this survey?
15. What is the last film you saw?
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A yellow the one Alice stole in Italy
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I am obsessed with Twilight
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'm not sure
19. George Bush:
was not a good Pres.
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Ariana Ray
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Edward Anthony Masen
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

BOLD the ones that fit you
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terriost.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convienance store.
I'm NATIE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. (No way in hell would I do that)
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I must be ugly...or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I must love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so i MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I love SHOPPING, so i MUST be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be mexican.
If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

Daddy's Poem:
Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,
Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,
Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,
What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone
And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,
About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.
There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,
To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,
Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day.
The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,
And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,
And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.
"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,
But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,
All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike,
He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,
And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.
'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,
I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that,
her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,
Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.
And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,
Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,
Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,
She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,
And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.
You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"
And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,
A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,
Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.
"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,
And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.
Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,
But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose.
And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,
And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around the rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock, then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit! I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole."

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over!

Someone told me: Go to hell!
Me: I can't. They put a restraining order on me...

MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENstrual anxiety, MENtal anxiety, MENopause, MENingitis. Notice our problems begin with MEN!!

God made man, and then said, "I can do better than that," and made woman.

If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I ain't going.

Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. -Frank Tyger

Don’t jump to conclusions, there may be a perfectly good explanation for what you just saw. -Proverbs 25:8

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

You Can Count On Me Like 1 2 3
I'll Be There
And I Know When I Need It I Can Count On You Like 4 3 2
And You'll Be There
Cause That's What Friends Are Supposed To Do, Oh Yeah
~Bruno Mars - Count on Me

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Remembrance of the Grim Wolf by The Potters of the Future reviews
Harry Potter, son of Hades, last year forced out Albus Dumbledore and the wraith of the Flight From Death, fought monsters and made new friends. This year Harry returns for his third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry what does fate have in store for Harry and his friends this year. Book 3 of the Prince of Death Series
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 44,052 - Reviews: 416 - Favs: 1,683 - Follows: 2,140 - Updated: 6/14 - Published: 6/28/2014
de profundis by Libraria reviews
In the 73rd Hunger Games, a man who had previously appeared out of no where was chosen as Tribute. Every time the cameras focused on him, they would short circuit, as though something was stopping them from working. Now it's the 75th Hunger Games and this man has been chosen again, his greatest weapon being that no one knows his methods. His name? Harry Potter. HP/? Warnings inside
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,040 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 480 - Follows: 756 - Updated: 9/24/2017 - Published: 12/1/2013 - Harry P., Katniss E., Peeta M., Finnick O.
Hecate's Champion by SingleWarrior043 reviews
The Dursleys are hiding something and it isn't the fact that Petunia's sister is a witch. They are demigods, the children of a God and Mortal. They come to Privet Drive in an attempt to live a normal life. How will Harry grow up when placed in this family? As a champion of Hecate, of course. Demigod!Dursleys Powerful!Harry Champion!Harry and so much more. CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,320 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 8/20/2017 - Published: 11/2/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Children of the Dark - Year 7 by cleotheo reviews
It's seventh year and the trio are entering their last year at Hogwarts. With the dark in control and the Order all but defeated, things should be plain sailing for Hermione, Draco and Harry. But their final year of school, will be just like the previous six - full of adventure and excitement. Seventh and final part of a seven part story. Dark Hermione! Dark Harry!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 107,852 - Reviews: 1224 - Favs: 803 - Follows: 719 - Updated: 3/24/2017 - Published: 10/31/2016 - [Draco M., Hermione G.] Harry P. - Complete
Children of the Dark - Year 6 by cleotheo reviews
It's sixth year and the truth is finally out about Harry and Hermione. However, that doesn't mean it's a quiet year for the trio as the Order are still out there, vowing to take down the dark. Dark Harry! Dark Hermione! Part six of a seven part story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 37 - Words: 96,730 - Reviews: 1392 - Favs: 887 - Follows: 767 - Updated: 10/31/2016 - Published: 6/13/2016 - [Draco M., Hermione G.] Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter's Protector by WitchSorceress49 reviews
The Dursley's aren't what you call normal. Their demigods! When Harry Potter arrives Petunia vows to protect her nephew at all cost. Watch as the daughter of Hecate and the son of Hades keeps a close watch on the Wizarding world, raises a champion of the Big Three, Athena, and Hecate, and drags some of the Potter's friends into strange situations. A crossover between Harry Potter a
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 21,265 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 6/25/2016 - Published: 11/4/2015 - Harry P., Petunia D., Vernon D., Hecate - Complete
Children of the Dark - Year 5 by cleotheo reviews
It's fifth year for the trio, and it's finally time for Voldemort to strike and get rid of Dumbledore. But before that changes are afoot in the wizarding world. It's time for a new Minister of Magic, and of course, a new Defence Professor. Then of course there's the matter of one final year undercover for the trio. Dark Harry! Dark Hermione! Part five of a seven part series.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 104,966 - Reviews: 1561 - Favs: 979 - Follows: 766 - Updated: 6/13/2016 - Published: 1/25/2016 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] Harry P. - Complete
Dying Embers by Lost In It All reviews
Nico is sent to kill someone who has been cheating Thanatos for far too long. Nico thinks it going to be a pretty easy quest. Wizards, ha! But with a nosy golden trio, an over protective friend, and clingy girls. This could be harder then he first thought. Not to mention everyone thinks hes the son of Voldemort! FIRST IN THE SERIES
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 25,889 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 5/10/2016 - Published: 3/4/2014 - [Nico A., Fred W.] Harry P. - Complete
Your House is Aflame by runespoor magic reviews
After Vernon leaves, Petunia and the boy's move in with vampire Amar, Petunia's old college friend. This brings into being a much more cheerful Harry, with many unusual habits. Contains Nice Petunia, vampire babies, house fires, a certain young dark lord, red heads, mysterious happenings, a sullen Dudley, unusual diets, rock music, and a happily dark Harry, all for your pleasure
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,517 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 2/26/2016 - Published: 12/30/2015 - Harry P., Sirius B., Tom R. Jr., Dudley D.
Children of the Dark - Year 4 by cleotheo reviews
With Voldemort back, and the Triwizard Tournament taking place at Hogwarts, it should be an exciting year for the trio. As the trio face their fourth year at Hogwarts, romance blossoms for Hermione and Draco, while danger lurks for Harry. Dark Hermione! Dark Harry! Part four of a seven part series.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 69,549 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 890 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 1/27/2016 - Published: 11/2/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Order of the Demigods by Supernerdette reviews
Harry is in danger with Voldemort rising. Dumbledore asks a certain centaur for advice, and Chiron willingly sends Nico to Hogwarts to protect him. Snape doesn't like Nico at all. Sort of Golden Trio bashing.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 22,088 - Reviews: 336 - Favs: 439 - Follows: 578 - Updated: 1/17/2016 - Published: 8/28/2013 - Harry P., Nico A.
The Punishment of James Potter by WitchSorceress49 reviews
What if James Potter's prank caused Snape his life, brought about the fury of Snape's godly father, Hades, causes the end of the Potter line of magic, and causes the rise of the hero of the Wizarding world. Meet Raven Potter, a child that James thinks is his and Lily's, but is not. She's a witch among her squib siblings, a demigod daughter of Hades, and the only one that survived t
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,799 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 11/27/2015 - Published: 9/13/2015 - Harry P., James P., Lily Evans P., Hades - Complete
Immortal Love by Lady Alseroen reviews
Some-things aren't supposed to be known much less in another world. Bella's secret comes out into the open then... well you'll have to read to find out! PS be nice I'm new. I. Don't. Own. Anything! Hiatus and possible revising.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,857 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 4/20/2015 - Published: 1/31/2013 - [Legolas, Bella]
The Tournament of Power by PercyJacksonAlways reviews
Dumbledore suspects Voldemort will make use of the Triwizard Tournament to get his hands on Harry Potter. So he seeks help from the Big Three demigods to protect Harry. Percy, Thalia, and Nico have to go to Hogwarts to protect Harry, undercover of a fourth participating school. But as suspicions rise, and Voldemort finds out about the demigods, will they get out of this alive?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 37 - Words: 70,613 - Reviews: 1171 - Favs: 1,068 - Follows: 972 - Updated: 3/27/2015 - Published: 3/31/2014 - Harry P., Nico A., Percy J., Thalia G. - Complete
More Than Just a Number by Readerreader911 reviews
Bella Swan is not like us, she is from a different planet. There were nine left, the first three are dead she is next. She has to blend in to survive but can she do that when there are other so-called fictional myths in that rainy small town, Forks. BxE REWRITE
Crossover - Twilight & Lorien Legacies - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,842 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 1/26/2015 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Bella
Isabella Snape by discussionsonpaper reviews
Bella was left alone in the forest, however she never told Edward, or any of the Cullen's that she was not Bella Swan – Chief Police Swan's daughter. Instead she is Isabella Snape, a sister to the most hated teacher at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, a witch and an unofficial Marauder. What happens when Professor Dumbledore invites the Cullen's to Hogwarts to help
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 50,714 - Reviews: 809 - Favs: 1,050 - Follows: 981 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Sirius B., Bella
Of Magic and Might by dreamingthroughstarlight reviews
Set during OoTP. Dumbledore is worried about the war against Voldemort, and as the goddess of magic, Hecate approaches him with an offer of aid. Dumbledore accepts. This leads to the Wizarding World learning about the gods, and our favorite demigods going to Pimplypigs! Sorry, Hogwarts! (On Hiatus, Reasons On Profile)
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 82,369 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 531 - Follows: 630 - Updated: 9/24/2014 - Published: 9/27/2013 - Harry P., Luna L., Nico A., Percy J.
Fatally Flawless by galcavill reviews
Being a goddess is fabulous and extravagant and... hard. Like, really hard. Some people are chosen and have always wanted such a life, but some never ever wanted that to happen. Bella Swan is no exception. Her rich and lovely life is taken away and replaced with monsters and demigods that she never knew existed. And who are her parents? Well, the oddest couple in Olympus, that is.
Crossover - Twilight & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 65,362 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 9/6/2014 - Published: 9/2/2013 - [Bella, Edward] Aphrodite, Hades - Complete
Wife Swap: the Cullens and the McClains by AussieGal20 reviews
Alice and Emmett sign the Cullens up for Wife Swap. The Cullens swap with a very strict family called the McClains. Will the Cullens like their new mother? Will the Cullen kids drive their new mother insane? please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 72,250 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 8/16/2014 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Complete
Who Are You? I Am The Ghost King by imnotgoodwithusernames1234 reviews
Nico is being sent to protect Harry Potter. That sounds simple enough, right? No. Not when you include an old friend, a ghost professor, a trio of kids on your tail, and a promise to be as much trouble as possible. Set after the Giant war and during OotP. POV's are from Nico and Harry.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 40,634 - Reviews: 892 - Favs: 389 - Follows: 525 - Updated: 8/12/2014 - Published: 11/5/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L., Nico A.
No one is left behind by Girl in Darkness reviews
What happens when by mistake something happens and Harry, Ron and Hermione find their selves with... Katniss and Peeta? Is Voldermots ready to go against them? What will happen in Panem? Read and learn!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,381 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/1/2014 - Published: 10/28/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., Katniss E., Peeta M.
Demigods at Hogwarts? What the Hades! by A Strange Girl reviews
What will happen when Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Thalia, Clarisse, Lou and the Stoll brothers go to Hogwarts? What will happen when they meet the Golden Trio? After the Last Olympian and during the Order of the Phoenix. WARNING may contain strong language (but I doubt it)!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,798 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 7/4/2014 - Published: 4/29/2013
Godly Powers vs Wands-The Staff of Hogwarts by PJO FOREVER reviews
The Order have started to kidnap demigods, believing them to be 'Death Eaters'(Well, at least Moody does)After a rescue by Percy Jackson, in an attempt to learn more about these wizards, he, Nico, Annabeth, and an OC of mine, travel to Pi-er, Hogwarts to find out more about these wizards.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,368 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 4/26/2014 - Published: 2/16/2014 - Harry P., Percy J.
Hecates' son by DragonDodge881 reviews
When Harry turns out to be Hecates' son, he grows up as the strong boy he should be. How will the demigod be treated at Hogwarts and will Dumbledore be ready for this boy? Dumbley, Weasley bashing. Every thing Is AU and Harry's godlike! Will use normal date tech
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 55,604 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 542 - Updated: 3/19/2014 - Published: 10/7/2013 - [Harry P., Zoë N.] OC
They're Different by Ugh111 reviews
Nico, Hazel, and Ariana, go to Hogwarts, to hunt down the horcruxes, but with the nosy golden trio digging into things, they'll have to be careful. Making matters worse, Ari, Hazel, and Nico aren't even in to same house. Reviews are welcomed flames are rejected rated T because I want to. No OC pov she's more of a added character to back up the story
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,604 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/15/2014 - Published: 2/26/2014 - Nico A., Hazel L., OC, Harry P.
Hogwarts? What the hell? by Neptune's daughter reviews
Giant War is over, but work's far from done. Jason, Piper, Hazel and Frank goes to CJ, and Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Thalia and Leo stay at CHB. Suddenly, Ella appears carrying news about quest to school named Hogwarts. How will demigods fare there? With Umbridge in school and new threat looming on the horizont, only one word is needed: CHAOS! During OoTP, Percabeth, EllaxApollo.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,218 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 2/17/2014 - Published: 12/3/2013 - Harry P., Albus D., Annabeth C., Percy J.
The Demigod Wizards by itsjustanothernerd reviews
Percy, Thalia, and Nico go on a quest to Hogwarts to protect Harry Potter and destroy the horcruxes, but what will happen when Voldemort finds out that the three most powerful demigods in history is in Hogwarts?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,272 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 12/17/2013 - Published: 2/9/2013 - Harry P., Percy J., Nico A., Jason G.
The lost family members by Princess Orez reviews
Crossover with Harry Potter. 5 years after Breaking Dawn. Bella found a new power that ended up with new family members which needed to be protected.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/7/2013 - Published: 3/19/2009
Nico Goes to Hogwarts by The Wayward Dreamer reviews
This is a story I've begun writing, but I want to see if people will read it. This is the first chapter, and any and all reviews are appreciated. Pretty much it's Nico going to Hogwarts to hunt Horcruxes, and it takes place in The OotP. Rated T for violence, swearing, and Nico di Angelo in general. Tell me what you think, honestly. And if you spot any mistakes, tell me, please.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,929 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 9/4/2013 - Published: 8/1/2013 - Harry P., Albus D., Hades, Nico A.
Losing Control by lizardpotato reviews
Set before Stefan Salvatore's 162nd birthday, Lexi moves to Forks hoping to live a human life again, but when she meets the Cullens, things don't turn out as planned. (I've shifted the timelines here - set after Breaking Dawn but before episode 8 of season 1 of TVD)
Crossover - Twilight & Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,714 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Carlisle, Lexi
Isabella Duchannes by The Girl Who Laughed reviews
Beautiful Creatures and Twilight Crossover. What if the Cullens adoptes Bella when she was 13 and she had Lena's and Ridley's powers? Will Ed and Bella fall in love?Or will the Cullens turn her away? Haven't read/seen Beautiful Creatures? No worries it'll still make sense.
Crossover - Twilight & Caster Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,180 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 8/27/2013 - Published: 2/20/2013 - Bella, Edward, Jacob, Lena D.
My Sweet Angel by kiseger reviews
After Jake kissed Bella against her will in Eclipse, she can't forgive him. She decides to accept Edward's proposal and their relationship is stronger than ever. Jake's furious and loses his control. Edward drops his boundaries, with unexpected consequences. No Victoria. Lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 278,681 - Reviews: 1871 - Favs: 2,142 - Follows: 1,302 - Updated: 8/8/2013 - Published: 10/21/2009 - [Bella, Edward] - Complete
A New Tomorrow by Gailerina reviews
Bella and the Cullens have read the Twilight Saga...but just because they been able to change the future, does not mean everything is easy now. Join them as they survive their senior year and a summer of change. The future will always hold surprises.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 103,280 - Reviews: 904 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 651 - Updated: 5/6/2013 - Published: 12/18/2011 - Bella, Edward
Fifty Shades Unwritten by SD130413 reviews
The miscarriage Ana suffered at the hands of Jack Hyde was just one other hurdle they had to cross. However as Anastasia grows as a business woman so does her power. How does the couple handle it when it all goes out of control? I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT FOR THIS STORY TO BE CONTINUED WITHOUT PRIOR DISCUSSION WITH ME FIRST!
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 289 - Words: 696,400 - Reviews: 4791 - Favs: 1,055 - Follows: 1,068 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Christian G., Anastasia S. - Complete
50 Shades of Malfoy by MalfoyPotter11 reviews
Amanda is 23 years old when she meets Draco Malfoy. He's a multimillionaire with his own business. He's into the whole BDSM scene proposing a solution to Amanda's problem. Will they fall for each other in the long run?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,259 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 26 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Draco M.
Wife Swap with the Cullens by Lillianna08 reviews
Emmett enters Esme for Wife Swap and she swaps places with Ellen Smith, a mum who believes her family to be perfect and grooms her children to become important people in society. Post Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 45,698 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 12/1/2010
Death at Hogwarts by Nicole di Angelo reviews
Nico goes goes to Hogwarts to kill Voldemort. Might be some Nico/Luna. Rated T cause I don't know what will come next. The story is much better than the summary and cause I suck at making summaries. Takes place after the Goblet of Fire & before TLH.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,124 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 5/15/2012 - Published: 4/1/2012 - Harry P., Nico A.
The Complications of Demigods by Violet Vicky reviews
What if Harry Potter and Hermione Granger weren't born that? What if they were really the children of Greek Olympians? And what if they were more than simply demigods? Travel with our heroes as they discover life, love, and have a fun on the way.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 87 - Words: 113,515 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 820 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 5/7/2012 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Complete
The Silent Mind by Amelia Jordan reviews
Bella moves to Forks in order to escape a newborn mother and the vampires who want her dead. Only to find seven of the very people she's trying to hide from. Will she be able to keep her knowledge and abilities a secret. What happens when they find out?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 55,476 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Bella, Edward
Darkness of Twilight by Lady Eleanora reviews
A/U, OOC; Rated "M" for suggestive - NOT graphic - adult themes, and Dark/Possesive-ward. STATUS: Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 97,012 - Reviews: 319 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 4/2/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cullen Wife Swap by BMC1984 reviews
What happens when Emmett and Jasper sign the Cullen's up for wife swap. How will Esme deal with being with a new family? How will the Cullen's deal with a Human living in the house? Post Breaking Dawn Includes Nessie, Jacob, Edward Bella, normal pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 57 - Words: 82,417 - Reviews: 1502 - Favs: 969 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 2/12/2012 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Edward, Emmett - Complete
The Cullen's and Bella reading Twilight by wilka015 reviews
This story is set before Twilight, where the Cullen's and Bella get the four twilight book and sit down to read them, together. They do not know each other at first but then they become really close. Hope you like it.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,302 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 2/11/2012 - Published: 2/4/2012 - Bella, Edward
Wife Swap: Cullen's vs Anderson's by XxViolentEndsxX reviews
Post Breaking Dawn. Emmett submitts the family to Wife Swap. How will the new mom react to being in a house full of vampires will she survive. Or will they slowly bring her to the breaking point. How will the cullens be without Esme. No Jacob imprint.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,510 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 1/25/2012 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Emmett, Esme - Complete
Halfbloods at Hogwarts by pseudonym13 reviews
Nico, Percy, Annabeth, Travis, and Connor Stoll go on their hardest quest yet. To help the golden trio at Hogwarts! Will they stay undercover? Or will someone find out they're demigods?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,823 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 12/24/2011 - Published: 12/8/2011 - Nico A.
Wife Swap Cullen's vs Clarks by shortevilpixie reviews
Will the Cullen's have to go to church? Is Emmett a cross dresser? Why is Edward playing strip poker? And WHY is a fourteen year old Ness making out with nineteen year old Jacob? The Cullen kids are sure to drive the new mom crazy. Multiple POV's.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,754 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 11/12/2011 - Published: 4/14/2011
Let's trust love by Dooba reviews
The Cullens go back to high school, 7 years after the end of BD. What starts out to be a fun endeavor, soon turns into dangers that nobody had foreseen... What damage can a crazy lovesick girl inflict? Rated M for some language and lemon. Canon pairs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 140,316 - Reviews: 720 - Favs: 852 - Follows: 374 - Updated: 9/7/2011 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullens come to Hogwarts, A Remake by Lady Eleanora reviews
The Rewrite of TCctH! Rated "T" to "M"; A/U, OOC.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 37,791 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/18/2011 - Published: 4/10/2010
15 Things To Do At Walmart Cullen Style by twilighters-anonymous reviews
Ever get those annoying, yet funny chain e-mails that say stuff like “15 Things To Do At Walmart”? This is what happens when Bella gets one and decides to enlist the Cullens to help her actually do them!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,843 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 7/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Your's, Mine, and Our's by LamourahAmourah reviews
Bella and Edward spend the night "together". Bella gets pregnant and they are happy but can they handle the twist and turns they experience.Can their love survive so many tragedies.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,652 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Bella, Edward
Take This Heart by BookwormBaby2580 reviews
Bella's life is a constant choice between bad and worse until she moves to Forks and meets the one man who can ease her burdens. But trust doesn't always come easily, especially when life has taught you that you're safer on your own. M for abuse and sex.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 111 - Words: 395,836 - Reviews: 4416 - Favs: 2,148 - Follows: 895 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Carlisle, Bella - Complete
All Because of Walmart by JMFanficQueen reviews
As I sat there on the couch, staring at the doctor, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He was in for a couple of long and stressful weeks. That's what happens when vampires go to therapy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 57,459 - Reviews: 639 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Bella, Edward
Truth or Dare High School Friends by TWILIGHT LOVERR OFICIALL reviews
Bella, Edward and the rest of the cullens are attending to Forks high school. One day, the students stay locked in school because of a snow storm and they start playing truth or dare. Very embarassing. Bella is still human, but is engaged to Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,965 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Edward, Bella
Shields of Power by thunderful reviews
What if Bella already knew about vampires before she came to Forks, what if she'd already met the Volturi, but wasn't allowed to tell anyone? And most importantly, what if she had her own gift?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 45 - Words: 151,866 - Reviews: 4747 - Favs: 5,785 - Follows: 2,740 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Silent Whispers by Runaway Moon reviews
She wasn't human. She wasn't vampire, werewolf, or shapeshifter so what exactly was she? Edward Cullen is left hanging whenever he encounters the new girl, Isabella Swan, because she isn't any species he knows of. Will he be able to uncover her secrets?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 45,021 - Reviews: 268 - Favs: 450 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 9/19/2010 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
When 2 Becomes 1 by account abandoned 1234567890 reviews
Edward and Bella were married before Edward was turned. Only Bella was there when he closed his eyes and before Carlisle bit him. What happens when Bella becomes a vampire too. Do they find each other again or will they be lost loves forever? ExB!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,318 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullens watch Twilight by just-a-crazyfanpire reviews
"Twilight. Release Date: 21 Nov. 2020. Cast: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart. Now in theatres!" While the Cullens are watching TV, they see a strange promo. *Bella and Edward talking in the forest* "They made a movie about us?" someone screamed.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,552 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullens watch New Moon by just-a-crazyfanpire reviews
Sequel to 'The Cullens watch Twilight'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,376 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 41 - Published: 7/15/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
What You Should Know by TheClassicCrime1 reviews
Im Allie Cullen,also know as a "Chosen One" and the last remaining Cullen vampire.I came to Hogwarts 4th year and strange things began to happen.Now the demons of my past are back to haunt me and I dont know how to stop them.*Sequel to What You Dont Know*
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 167,962 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Complete
Getting Kicked Out Of Wal Mart by readinangel reviews
When Alice get an email about what not to do in Wal Mart, she decides she wants to test them out. She brings Em, Ed, Bell, Rose, and Jazz along, and it results in choas! Warning: you will laugh. Characters mostly in cannon!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 20,835 - Reviews: 1312 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Complete
Sunrise by BlueSea14 reviews
Twilight in Edward's point of view. Completed June 2010
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 42 - Words: 335,515 - Reviews: 2178 - Favs: 2,344 - Follows: 1,145 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 9/30/2006 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Cullens Back at Forks after some ah many years by Annette Lee reviews
The Cullens are back at Forks again. It's been years since they left. Edward braces himself for the thoughts, Emmett is all for pranks, Jasper just wants to get away from the school, while the girls are furious at the girls at school. Post Breaking Dawn..
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 58 - Words: 93,115 - Reviews: 802 - Favs: 437 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Cullens come to Hogwarts, The Original Version by Lady Eleanora reviews
HP/T Crossover; A/U, OOC. Canon Pairings. Rated now "T" since there isn't really anything bad in here, so ignore the "M" rating inside the story. Complete, Sequel AND Rewrite are up.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 80,530 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 4/10/2010 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Complete
Returning to Hogwarts by Lady Eleanora reviews
Sequel to TCctH, The Original Version and A Remake. A/U, OOC and OCs. Rated "M" for language, and possibly suggestive themes.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,888 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 3/18/2010 - Published: 6/29/2009
Wife Swap: Cullen Vs Newton by hotflower06 reviews
5 years after Breaking Dawn, both Edward and Bella and the recent married Jessica and Mike end up on Wife Swap. What will happen? Does Mike still love Bella? how can the Cullens possibly hide they're secret with Jessica around? And who's James?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 34,469 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Bella, Jessica
Your Guardian Angel by Mimi-Love-4ever reviews
"Protect your charges, child, whoever they are. Remember the rules." Seven new charges for me to protect, unheard of. From what, is the concerning part. Great. (Unbeta'd version.)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 61 - Words: 256,834 - Reviews: 1447 - Favs: 830 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wife Swap: Cullen vs Wickers by Portrait reviews
The Cullen family signs up for the show Wife Swap. Parody.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 36,105 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Esme, Alice - Complete
Wife Swap: Cullen Family vs Smith Family by teamcullen1395 reviews
Okay, so I was reading some other wife swap stories and had an idea for one. First fanfic. let me know if it sucks or not. rated T just to be safe. Post BD w/ Renesmee and Jacob.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 27,636 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 1/28/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010
Edward and Bella: Love and Lust by avioleta reviews
A mature spin on Twilight. Edward must work to keep Bella safe in his world while they both deal with the everyday drama of high school life. This is the Twilight you wanted to read. E/B, HET, Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 127,238 - Reviews: 1887 - Favs: 2,122 - Follows: 943 - Updated: 1/3/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bella's Secret by Nykiddo reviews
Everyone has a secret even Bella.Find out what happends when Bella's cousins come by one night and tell he that she to has a secret.Also find out all the problems this secret will cause. Also this Story will be in the POV of Edward to not just Bella.
Crossover - Charmed & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 16,073 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Bella - Complete
Naughty Bella by Owl and Crow reviews
While watching Harry Potter 4 Bella innocently notices the similarities between Cedric and Edward. Lemons follow! Edward/Bella
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,679 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 34 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Truth Or Dare With The Cullens Spring Break by Mallory Cullen reviews
Bella bends Edwards rules and get punished. She must play a truth or dare game with the Cullen's. I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. Rated T for now, but might change. Kind of OOC. EXB/EmXR/JXA.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,267 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 3/25/2009
Truth Or Dare: The Forks Way by Felicity Holly reviews
Hilarity ensues when the annual Forks High Picnic is held in the gym due to 'weather conditions', and Jessica suggests that they all -including Bella and the Cullens- play truth or dare.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,303 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008
The Cullens Hit High School by iEvenSparkleInTheSun reviews
One year after Bella's transformation minus Nessie she starts High School With Edward! Jealously, Fluff and lots of fun!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,233 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 10/28/2009 - Published: 10/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Who's Up For A Game of Truth Or Dare? by XshoppingshortieX reviews
When Carlisle and Esme are out for the week, what will happen when Alice suggest a so called innocent game of truth or dare?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 24,125 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 9/14/2009 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Complete
The Doctor is Out by Kimmeth reviews
Dr Cullen has gone off sick. Hang on, Dr Cullen never goes off sick. The nurses at Forks General determine to investigate this highly irregular occurrence... One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,603 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Witches of Twilight by raca reviews
Bella discovers a truth about the 'mythical' world long before leaving Phoenix. Seeking out her friends, she finds herself in Forks and surrounded by creatures that shouldn't exist. A retelling of Twilight filled with Magic and staring a powerful Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 117,547 - Reviews: 1703 - Favs: 1,773 - Follows: 689 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
One World, Two kinds of Magic by Slashfan-80 reviews
When Chris Halliwell was sent flying by some demon he orbs out but he and up landing at Forks to be more expecific The Cullens backyard...what will happen nest when they realize what he is, and when he realize what they are?
Crossover - Charmed & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,105 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Elise R., Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Her Violet Eyes by firenaxox reviews
Hi my name is Isabella Marie Swan. I don't know what i am. Not a human. Not a vampire. Not a werewolf. All i know is that i have unnatural violet eyes and everyone is after me. Why did i think Forks was going to be any different? Edward & Bella!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,026 - Reviews: 562 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 11/24/2008
What is THAT! by SweetlyDesolated reviews
Max Ride/Twilight twist. Max and her flock have been working on defeating ITEX when they fly over a field. They land in a rainy town. Where are they? Takes place after TFW & BD. Disclaimer: I dont own MR/T, JP&SM do.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 40 - Words: 40,667 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 8/5/2009 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Complete
New and Improved, my Love by account abandoned 1234567890 reviews
First fan fic! Edward leaves for a second time not knowing what he left behind. 50 years later they're all back at a new and improved Forks High. Only the Cullens think she's a descendant of Bella's. Give it a shot! its better than it sounds! ExB!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 35,410 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Getting Kicked Out Of A Fair by readinangel reviews
Sequel to GKOOWM, Alice finds another list... oh no. Join Al, Em, Ed, Bell, Jazz, and Rose as the encounter flirty belly dancers, freedom seeking Elephants, and a monkey named cat! Humorous fun, watch as chaos comes once again!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,838 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 5/4/2009
Because You're Mine by Ms. Padfoot reviews
Harry is rescued from the Dursley's by Severus Snape. What he tells Harry leaves him stunned. Who is my father?...I am. Not all is as it was believed to be. Who really is meant to be the 'Saviour of the Wizarding World? Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 76 - Words: 611,455 - Reviews: 1605 - Favs: 2,172 - Follows: 849 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 1/16/2004 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Twilight in Princeton by Jazelle1996 reviews
House gets called upon to help a sick Bella while she and Edward check out Princeton Univ. House gets a bit more involved with the clan, and he's wondering if they can help him. House a vampire? SEQUEL ENTITLED FULL MOON IN PRINCETON.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 45 - Words: 40,029 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - G. House, Edward - Complete
BEEP by vampirechick123 reviews
Bella punishes Edward with no kisses for a day. Edward tries really hard to get her to kiss him. Now put Alice into the equation and you have brilliance ...just fluffy fluff R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 39,749 - Reviews: 1990 - Favs: 958 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 4/23/2009 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
True Love be atlast through time by BaDWolF89 reviews
Born to be a proper girl,meant to marry wealth.What was meant to be,but the brutal murder of her father,all has changed.A deal with a goddess will forever change her life.Love,Death,Destruction,old lovers,The End as we know it.What will happen in the end?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,009 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/6/2009 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
What You Don't Know by TheClassicCrime1 reviews
Harry Potter-Twilight Crossover. A stunning new girl comes to Hogwarts. What you don't know is that she didn't come there by chance. She has a purpose. I'm really bad at summaries, I'm sorry.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 85,511 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Complete
The Cullen's trip to WalMart by Paranoid Pessimist reviews
The Cullens move to a new town in Montana and decide to let the people there know that the Cullen Family is in town... by playing pranks in Wal-mart. This is about 70 years after Bella has been married to ewdard and changed into a vampire. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,078 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 2/3/2009 - Published: 5/15/2008
Wife Swap Vampires vs Humans by Twilightfan413 reviews
Wife Swap Twilight saga addition. Takes place after Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 359 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 29 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Alice
Wife Swap by AlicexWonderland reviews
Alice decides one day it will be "fun" if she signs the cullens up for wife swap. The TV show where you... well... swap your wifes with another families wife.... Who will they get paired with?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 45 - Published: 1/16/2009
Based On True Events by pandorasnotebook reviews
The Cullens go see the movie Twilight and the rest of the theater has be a captive audience to their constant need to narrate. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,580 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 409 - Follows: 68 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Complete
When a witch meets the vamps by ALEXXsugar reviews
Bella swan is the last Swan witch still living. She lives in a foster home. Her parents died when she was younger to a fire. What happens when people start getting suspicous about the Cullens and they decided to adopt and add to the family.DONT OWN CHARAC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,199 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship by silvanelf reviews
Unforeseen consequences from feeding on Beth in the desert bring the vampire PI and reporter together. Meanwhile, something is up in L.A. when body counts start to rise, and Mick gets a whiff of feral vampires...
Moonlight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 46 - Words: 158,665 - Reviews: 589 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 1/3/2009 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Mick S. J., Beth T. - Complete
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2876 - Favs: 2,079 - Follows: 982 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
The Princess by Stacie-Ann Halliwell reviews
Well here I am, standing in front of my Grandmother. One who I never knew existed and who has come to give me huge news about my destiny and all. Well as my grandmother stops talking all I can say is wholly shi...And you thought your family was messed up.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Supernatural - Chapters: 48 - Words: 58,362 - Reviews: 1001 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 12/22/2008 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Flabbergasted Phenomenon by jankmusic reviews
“This is the most unique situation I have ever heard of with a human and a vampire,” was what Carlisle said, but all I could think was, “I’m going to have a baby.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 134,043 - Reviews: 2216 - Favs: 1,215 - Follows: 770 - Updated: 12/7/2008 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Never Too Late by l'heure bleue reviews
—”My Miracle, My Angel” Sequel!— As Edward readies his baseball bat and Bella prepares ”the talk”, Arianna braves her first year of high school. Life isn't easy as a half-vampire teenager, though ... especially when you're in love with a Vampire Hunter.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 76,655 - Reviews: 3594 - Favs: 993 - Follows: 506 - Updated: 7/28/2008 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Miracle, My Angel by l'heure bleue reviews
My name is Bella Swan, and I'm pregnant. My fiancé is overprotective, and won't even let me walk up the stairs alone. So what could possibly go wrong? Mood swings, cravings and name games, to name a few. — WINNER of 4 Twilight Awards! WRITTEN BEFORE BD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 100,422 - Reviews: 3566 - Favs: 2,846 - Follows: 894 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Baby Bella by Stacie-Ann Halliwell reviews
Okay this is a story that I haven't seen done. Edward finds Bella as a four year old little girl, and James is after her, but what the Cullen's don't know is there is something very specail about Bella. R&R Please! CharmedTwilight. Stacie-Ann
Crossover - Charmed & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,685 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 4/19/2008 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Piper H., Bella - Complete
If I could only be normal by just dont tell my mum reviews
On his sixteenth birthday harry gets new powers, unfortunately the wizards of his age cant cope with his powers so he gets sent back to people who can help his rather unique case prehbp
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 193,443 - Reviews: 1347 - Favs: 1,277 - Follows: 1,069 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 6/20/2004 - Harry P.
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 1,092 - Follows: 302 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Princess Granger by tiduwen reviews
Hermione finds out she's a princess & has to learn how to act like a princess before time runs out so she asks Malfoy for help. everything goes well... so how does she get pregnant? R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 55,990 - Reviews: 758 - Favs: 500 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 1/7/2006 - Published: 7/29/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Return of the High Elves by Virusgod reviews
Finished Reposted Two months had passed since Harry Potter was last seen. Now he returns, trained and armed for war...and with pointy ears?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 76,810 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 1,069 - Follows: 366 - Published: 6/26/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Girl in the Tower by SpookyMulder reviews
Novel length fic where Harry meets a mysterious girl, hidden at Hogwarts. RR! Recommended Story of the Month, April 2003
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 37 - Words: 379,257 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 5/2/2004 - Published: 1/15/2003 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Birthday Surprises by Lolly Phoenix reviews
Harry receives a rather unusual 17th birthday present from the Headmaster. A present that changes anything and everything.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 76 - Words: 105,493 - Reviews: 3258 - Favs: 2,525 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 4/7/2004 - Published: 9/11/2003 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Me, a Malfoy by writeright reviews
In the summer before Harry's 7th year, Harry learns that Lily and James weren't his real parents...who were? I think the title gives it away! Lucius-EX-SPY, Draco-Best Brother Ever, Harry-Sexy Blonde, Severus-Best Friend, Luci-cute kid! Finished!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 79,751 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 3/27/2004 - Published: 10/14/2003 - Harry P., Draco M.
Harry Potter and the Eyes of the Elves by Phoenix353 reviews
COMPLETED! On his fifteenth birthday, Harry finds out the history behind his emerald eyes and why he is so important to the elves.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,607 - Reviews: 814 - Favs: 938 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 4/30/2003 - Published: 11/25/2002 - Harry P. - Complete
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Isabella Swan Daughter of Zeus reviews
The War was over, and Kronos was defeated, now life can go back to normal right? Wrong, Bella moves to Forks, Washington to finish out High School, hoping stay in a small town will keep the monsters away. But our favorite family of Vampires live there.
Crossover - Twilight & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,935 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 2/3/2011 - Published: 7/14/2010
Wife Swap Cullen vs Williams reviews
This is replaceing Wife Swap Cullen vs Werth. What happens when Esme swaps with a really stict, really religious Mom. What will happen to the Cullens? What will happen to the new mom? Will she go insane or will she convert the Cullen? Read to find out.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,375 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 11/4/2010 - Published: 8/18/2010
OneofaKind reviews
During T after HPDH. Bella is half Vampire, half something, her father is… After Harry Potter deafest Voldemort, Isabella moves to Forks, Washington. There she meets our favorite Vampire family…The Cullens. What adventures await her?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,529 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/19/2010 - Published: 9/20/2010
The Cullen's Back at Forks High reviews
After being away for 75 years the Cullen’s plus Jake have decided to move back to Forks. But what happens when they meet the grandkids of their former classmates? Kids who have heard stories about the Cullen’s since they were little.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,851 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 1/12/2010 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Bella, Edward
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