TheSickenerHits
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Joined 07-28-14, id: 5950015, Profile Updated: 09-06-17
Author has written 14 stories for Carmilla, Harry Potter, and Orange Is the New Black.

When I'm not on a beach in Cambodia doing X with strangers in drag, I write stories.


There’s a sort of vague chronology to all the OITNB fics I write, and if you read them in order, there’s foreshadowing to future fics along the timeline, as well as sly nudges to past fics.
All Yours and Hot Water are both pre-Litchfield, pre-relationship.
Tell Me Again, Backstage and Modern Girl are all pre-Litchfield, early relationship.
Count To Ten is also pre-Litchfield but post-Belgium, while Long & Lost is pre-Litchfield too, but post-first breakup.
Amalekites is set in Litchfield, specifically s1e13.
Rock Bottom is my only non-Vauseman OITNB fic, and that's another Litchfield based story, but focusing on s3e13.
Only You is post-Litchfield along with I Want You To Want Me, although the latter spans from before S1 to after S5.

Technically the first five could go wherever you like, and All Yours could even be considered AU.
The only fic which definitely doesn’t fit into any timelines is the teacher AU multi-chap Carry Your Heart, and that’s because it’s an AU. (Go figure.)

I'm also on AO3 under the same name, and there are some fics on there that aren't on here.

Reviews, PMs and tumblr follows (if you can find me - it's not difficult) are all welcome.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss reviews
In another world, Hermione Granger never attended Hogwarts. Orphaned at age three, she grew up supporting her low-income adoptive family who hadn't the means to pay for her education. Desperation and a chance encounter lead her into the employ of the three Black sisters. She finds herself caught in their deadly web, helplessly waiting to see who will reach her first. H/B, H/N, H/A.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 225,743 - Reviews: 945 - Favs: 827 - Follows: 1,245 - Updated: 11/1 - Published: 8/12/2012 - [Hermione G., Bellatrix L.] Narcissa M., Andromeda T.
h a u n t e d by furiosawrites reviews
"It's what you do, it's what you see. I know if I'm haunting you... you must be haunting me. It's where we go; it's where we'll be... I know if I'm on to you... you must be on to me." Becomissar AU, rated M.
Pitch Perfect - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,074 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 362 - Updated: 10/9 - Published: 5/20/2015 - Beca M., Kommissar
This Isn't An Ordinary Love by xxwritersquarrelxx reviews
AT: Five years after Alex and Piper have been released from Litchfield. They have rebuilt themselves and together they are living a semi normal life in one of the five boroughs together. Rated M for sexual content.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,630 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 8/2 - Published: 7/7/2014 - Piper C., Alex V., Nicky N.
Those Gilded Chains We Wear by KuraiBites reviews
During the battle for Hogwarts, Hermione accepts to do the Unbreakable Vow with Bellatrix to protect the people she loves. But binding herself to the dark witch has more consequences than she could ever have anticipated. Cover art by batlesbo/Chloé C.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 42 - Words: 319,130 - Reviews: 2498 - Favs: 2,362 - Follows: 2,577 - Updated: 6/30/2016 - Published: 1/19/2012 - Hermione G., Bellatrix L.
Hot Child in the City by shortie990 reviews
AU. Based/inspired roughly off of the movie Coyote Ugly. Piper is a struggling artist in need of a job and comes across the bar, Coyote. But what she'll find inside is more than just a job. She'll find love. Friendship. A family.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 126,142 - Reviews: 508 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 596 - Updated: 6/23/2016 - Published: 3/7/2014 - Piper C., Alex V., Nicky N., Lorna M.
The Wisdom of Crowds by lifeby.adventures reviews
Spoliers - Picks up directly after Season 3. A look at how to salvage vauseman in canon.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,107 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 188 - Updated: 3/30/2016 - Published: 6/15/2015 - Piper C., Alex V., Galina R./Red, Tasha J./Taystee
The Poppies of House Vause by JustJane18 reviews
The comfortable but lonely life of Lady Alexandra of House Vause is turned upside down when she saves a pleasure slave from the bordello of her rival, Lawrence of House Bloom. Completely AU, mature themes.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 59,411 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 2/14/2016 - Published: 6/29/2014 - Alex V., Piper C.
Nightcall by nightflighter reviews
Every chapter is a new situation/part of Alex and Pipers' relationship. It's basically everything that happened or could have happened from season one until three (so far), in no particular order. There'll be angst, fluff and smut.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,838 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 8/12/2015 - Published: 7/2/2015 - Piper C., Alex V.
Frustrations and Expectations by healed reviews
It's a funny feeling, and an even stranger exchange of words, that somewhere in the midst, grow appropriate. Whatever they've done, however they've tangled themselves, it's been done together. The words always and intended run through Alex's mind. It's some form of permanent, some flicker of forever. They're not going anywhere.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 93,335 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 358 - Updated: 7/13/2015 - Published: 7/6/2014 - Piper C., Alex V.
Photograph by muhrissee reviews
Vauseman. Set after Season 3. My attempt at salvaging Piper and Alex.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,005 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 7/9/2015 - Published: 6/16/2015 - [Alex V., Piper C.]
Fight Club by jacklavigne reviews
What happens when a conventional woman with anger issues and insomnia meets a very unconventional woman with a smart mouth and a lot of time on her hands? Fight club, of course.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,465 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/29/2015 - Published: 4/15/2015 - Piper C., Alex V.
He's Not an Eggplant by baileytron reviews
Set after season 2, major spoilers. Piper contemplates her role in Alex's life as Alex returning to Litchfield becomes a reality. M for language right now, but probably for smut later.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,936 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/28/2015 - Published: 1/18/2015
Love's Little Compromises by Sy Itha reviews
Laura decides it's time to have a talk with Danny and Carmilla about a certain...compromise. Collection of oneshots. Danny x Carmilla x Laura, Danny x Laura, Laura Carmilla, Carmilla x Danny, Threesome, Lesbian, smut, Light BDSM
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,456 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 1/2/2015 - Published: 11/24/2014
A Human, A Vampire, And A Werewolf Walk Into A Cliché by WaterBendin reviews
Carmilla Series. OT3 Laura/Carmilla/Danny. werewolf!Danny. A competitive game of Truth or Dare turns into something way more fun.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,176 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/24/2014 - Complete
Demanding by They Call Me A Number
Laura could be quite...demanding. Carmilla: The Series.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 652 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/23/2014 - Complete
Beautiful unexpected attraction by H.Skye reviews
This is my first piece of writing like this so i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing, it's just for fun. I have a few other chapters but just seeing how this goes. The italics are the character's thoughts. welcoming all criticism, enjoy :)
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 29,083 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 12/20/2014 - Published: 10/20/2014 - Piper C., Alex V., Nicky N., Lorna M.
Second Place by FrozenFractals reviews
"You've never been good at dealing with coming second." - Carmilla [Danny x Laura]
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,451 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/15/2014 - Complete
Laura's Birthday by Aurorazilla
It's Laura's birthday, and Danny and Carmilla can't decide on what to give her. Danny/Carmilla/Laura Rated M for smut
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,370 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 9 - Published: 11/22/2014
Rough by They Call Me A Number reviews
Everything about them was rough. Carmilla: The Series.
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/15/2014 - Complete
young blood by Alanabloom reviews
"Piper Chapman is nine years when she first sees Alex Vause." A childhood/middle school/high school AU for Alex and Piper. Incorporates their flashbacks from the series. Emphasis on the high school era. Two shot.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 24,834 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 6/23/2014 - Published: 6/19/2014 - Piper C., Alex V. - Complete
Latex and Lovers by Bit Not Good AO3 reviews
Irene needed a place to stay for the night, and Molly had one.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,624 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/14/2014 - [Molly Hooper, Irene A.]
In the Dark (Count Mistakes) by endgirl reviews
Piper grapples with who she is and what she has left, if anything, in the weeks following her breakdown. Alex/Piper, set after season one. Complete.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,066 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 10/8/2013 - Published: 9/8/2013 - [Piper C., Alex V.] Tasha J./Taystee, Nicky N. - Complete
The Game by kingstonsqueen reviews
Irene Adler asks River Song to dinner after months of shameless flirting, teasing, and goading; of trading innuendoes, suggestive smirks, and blatant challenges. And of course, the downright obscene eye-fucking. Very AU, but I couldn't resist this pairing.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,854 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/30/2013 - Published: 7/26/2013 - River Song/Melody P. III, Amelia P./Amy, Rory W., Irene A.
A Safe Place by kingstonsqueen reviews
Bellatrix shows up on Hermione's doorstep a cold, bloody mess, seeking shelter for the night from her one-time lover and uneasy ally. A sad, sympathetic smile pulled at Hermione's lips as she looked upon her enemy and her lover, both occupying the same body, sharing the same lips and the same eyes, and she suddenly realized that neither label quite fit tonight.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,175 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/14/2013 - Hermione G., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Biding Time by aliceinwonderbra reviews
Season 7 AU. This little plot bunny came to me and demanded writing. "Turning her head, she looks at Tara for the first time, really looks at her, in a way she doesn't bother to do with most people." Faith/Tara, Buffy/Faith, Willow/Tara, Willow/Kennedy
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,156 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Faith L., Tara M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Carry Your Heart reviews
Alex Vause is an English teacher who is gradually losing love for everything around her. When Piper Chapman is hired as her new colleague, Alex's life lights up. (I can't write these summaries without them sounding clichéd as s***, so here's the facts: slow burn, plenty of exposition. Sexual content coming up, some bad language. Prompts from Vausemaniac and Jamie Jay.)
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 63,415 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 11/2 - Published: 2/21/2016 - Piper C., Alex V., Nicky N., Lorna M.
Long & Lost reviews
Fahri has just been killed, and Alex is on her last chance with Kubra, still reeling in the wake of her mother's death. Between rehab and recovery, she decides to revisit New York one more time, and encounters the woman she's been longing for, and longing to leave behind… Pre-Litchfield Vauseman one-shot. Angsty as all hell with a (sort of) happy ending. Rated T for bad language.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,051 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/22/2016
Blackout
Carmilla is at Laura's mercy, in the best possible way. A series of kink-filled smut scenes, with flashbacks to episodes 18 - 21. Recommended listening for this fic is "Rawks" by K.Flay. Image created by Tom Furber, an awesome artist from tumblr. (Re-posted and re-edited, as the last version was badly written and horribly formatted.)
Carmilla - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,388 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/11/2016 - Carmilla, Laura - Complete
Battle-born
Danny's life my have ended, but her afterlife is only just beginning. (Implied Hollence.)
Carmilla - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,032 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/29/2015 - Carmilla, Laura, Danny - Complete
Count To Ten reviews
Alex and Piper visit a kink club in Amsterdam. Piper wants to continue her education back in their hotel room. (Pre-Litchfield oneshot. Light kink. A sort of sequel to "Tell Me Again", a potential prequel to "I Want You To Want Me".) Inspired by a conversation with unsorted.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,110 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 19 - Published: 7/28/2015 - Piper C., Alex V. - Complete
Tell Me Again reviews
Alex wants to help Piper try something new. Pre-Litchfield, circa s2e10, the "I love you" flashback. Explicit sex, light bondage. (Based on a prompt from JayJamie.)
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,652 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 25 - Published: 7/20/2015 - Piper C., Alex V. - Complete
Rock Bottom reviews
"You gotta hit rock bottom before you can know which direction to go in. Welcome to the floor, kid." Nicky makes a new friend in maximum security, while Stella struggles to stay positive. Rated T for language. (Maybe some smut later.)
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,287 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/7/2015 - Nicky N.
Only You reviews
Piper collects Alex from Litchfield, and Alex can't wait to get home. Post-S4 oneshot. Smut ahoy. (This is most definitely not my best work, but I wanted to write a birthday fic and Vausemaniac was kind enough to provide the prompt. This fic is for her.)
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,304 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 26 - Published: 7/2/2015 - Piper C., Alex V. - Complete
I Want You To Want Me reviews
A series of chronological Vauseman oneshots ranging from pre-S1 to post-S4. Plenty of smut, some angst.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,512 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/22/2015 - Piper C., Alex V. - Complete
All Yours reviews
Alex and Sylvie have a disagreement; Alex seeks solace with Piper. Vauseman endgame, rated T for language. Smut coming in the next chapter.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,279 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 5/16/2015 - Published: 5/7/2015 - [Alex V., Piper C.]
A Multitude of Sins (Carmilla Harry Potter AU) reviews
Hollstein Hogwarts AU. Laura Hollis is a Ravenclaw, happy to celebrate her mediocrity. Carmilla Karnstein is a Slytherin, doing her very best to atone for past mistakes. After a chance meeting at the start of term, events are set in motion that neither of them could be prepared for. Set in the Harry Potter universe, this story runs parallel to Order of the Phoenix.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Carmilla - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,266 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/10/2015 - Published: 2/9/2015 - Carmilla, Laura, LaFontaine, Will L.
Backstage reviews
Pre-Litchfield oneshot. Alex wants to enjoy a night out, Piper wishes they were back in bed. Smut ensues.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,421 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 21 - Published: 4/23/2015 - [Piper C., Alex V.] - Complete
Hot Water reviews
"I have always loved getting clean..." Piper takes a shower; Alex takes control. Vauseman pre-prison one-shot.
Orange Is the New Black - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 27 - Published: 3/26/2015 - [Piper C., Alex V.] - Complete
Sanguine
Carmilla fic: "If love must have it's sacrifices, then you're losing sleep..." Rambles from Laura's perspective.
Carmilla - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2014 - Carmilla, Laura - Complete