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Joined 05-31-04, id: 599544, Profile Updated: 08-02-12
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Shakespeare, and Metalocalypse.

This bio was created using the template originally created by oddlittleoddball.

Location: Australia


Smut blog:

Books Series: Harry Potter, The Lioness Quartet, The Immortals, The Magic Circle, The Circle Opens, Red Dwarf...

Manga/Anime: Dragonball Z, Yu-gi-oh, Naruto, Inu Yasha, Gravitation...

Movies: Atlantis, Treasure Planet, Pirates of the Caribbean, Robin Hood Men in Tights...

TV shows: The Simpsons, Red Dawrf, Black Books, Saturday Disney...

Actor/s: Jim Carrey, Robin Williams...

Characters: Ryou Bakura, Marik Ishtar, Draco Malfoy, Duo Maxwell, Nightcrawler, Yuki Eiri, Shippou, Uchiha Sasuke...


"Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!"
"Isn't that the wrong way?"
"Yeah, but faster!" (Simpsons)

"What do I think of the pie? What do I think of the pie? Goodness gracious, it's delacious, that's what I think of the pie! Because..." (Simpsons)

"Mmmmm, that's good satire!" (Simpsons)

"You guys wouldn't happen to have a gay time machine, would you?"
"Yes, it's called Brady's shoe closet!"
"Julio? Ouch." (Simpsons)

"Oh you do? Oh I swear to god Lisa, if I were a straight eight year old boy I would be so totally holding your hand right now." (Simpsons)

"Why do women always leave me for total smeg-heads? Men completely obsessed with shopping for antiques, looking for bargains and drinking wine. It's never beer, is it? It's always wiiine. Oh, what do you want on your cornflakes dear? Oh, I'll have some WINE please! SMEG!"
"You can tell all that just from a photograph?" (Red Dwarf)

"Is anything wrong?"
"Wrong? God no, what could possibly be wrong?"
"You don't think anythings wrong? I'm sitting here in a pink gingham dress, and army boots, and you think nothing's wrong?" (Red Dwarf)

"Well be passed the test Rimmer, you can let us out."
"I can't."
"What do you mean, you can't?"
"He won't let me."
"The King of the Potato People. He wants to keep you here. Keep you here, forever."
"Can we see him?"
"The King."
"Do you have a magic carpet?"
"Yeh, a little three seater."
"Let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to go see the King of the Potato People, and beg for your freedom. And you're telling me you're completely sane?" (red Dwarf)

"Ah, I'm going to pass for sure this time Listy! In fact,I nearly did last time, but I missed due to the slightest of slight errors."
"What? You wrote out four hundred times 'I am a fish', did a funny little dance and fainted on the floor!"
"Did not! The only reason I failed last time was because I wrote an essay that was too radical, too intense for the examiners to accept."
"Yeah, you said you were a fish!" (Red Dwarf)

"Well, wish me luck!"
"Rimmer, F-I-S-H, that's how you spell fish. Then just keel over, and it'll all come flooding back." (Red Dwarf)

"What's with you?"
"I'm sick of it, that's what. I'm just totally totally sick of it."
"Of what?"
"I'm sick of you, and you're stupid questions. I'm sick of the way your nostrils flare when you talk. I'm sick of the way you always smile when you're being insulted. I'm sick of you, I'm sick of the Cat, I'm sick of the ship, and as for Kryten! I'm sick of it. Just totally totally sick of it."
"...You're unhappy, aren't you?" (Red Dwarf)

"Add a drop of lavender to your milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it." (Black books)

"Lister, if you touch that guitar I'll remove the E string and garrotte you with it."
"Which one?"
"What does it matter?"
"I haven't got a bottom E string." (Red Dwarf)

"What? It's not working!"
"Great Scott! It's not!" (Yugioh)

"Yeah, you went all weird and tried to Mokuba and stuff."
"I did? Oh my..." (Yugioh)

"Hey, aren't we meant to challenge first and one of us accepts?"
"It happened offscreen. Now keep dueling." (Duel Masters)

"Drop dead Rimmer."
"Already have done."
"Encore." (Red Dwarf)

"How's this for a plan? We find Voldemort, threaten him with a peice of cheese, and steal his pants."
"That won't work."
"Why not?"
"Cheese isn't scary."
"Of course it is! It's filled with lactose and fattening additives!"
"Cheese s'not scary." (Draco Veritas)

"Don't talk to me."
"Why not?"
"Because I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..." (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Hey, midgets!"
"Ron, you can't them that!"
"But look at them, they're titchy!" (Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix)

"There's an old cat proverb. It's better to live on hour as a tiger, than a lifetime as a worm."
"And there's an old human saying: whoever heard of a worm-skin rug?" (Last Human)

"Sir, may I recommend that I load myself into the reverse thrust tube and you use my body as a decoy fodder? Of course, this would leave me splattered around Deep Space and unable to complete today's laundry, for whichI apologize in advance.
"Kryten, you're hysterical. Now stop your blathering and get in the damn tube."
""Don't move, Kryten, you're going nowhere. I'm not doing my own smegging ironing!"" (Last Human)

"I want to talk to you about my penis... I knew it! You've straight into snigger mode!" (Last Human)

"How's the food supply?"
"There's no meat, no grain, and hardly any vegetables. Worse still, the only liquorice allsorts left are those little black twisty ones that everyone hates. If that weren't bad enough, last nigth I discovered that space weevils have eaten the last of our corn supply."
"So what are you cooking for Lister's breakfast then?"
"Space Weevil."
"You can't serve Space Weevil! Not even Lister, with his two remaining taste buds, will knowingly sit down and eat insectoid vermin. Let's face it, with him it's practically cannibalism."
"But sir, it's incredibly nutritious. After all, it is corn-fed."
"You'll never get him to eat it."
"They say the first bite is with the eye. Trust me sir, it's all down to presentation."
"Is that what the swan-shaped carrot is for then?"
"Yes sir."
"Lister doesn't eat raw carrot. he thinks they're for health freaks. ...good one Kryte." (Last Human)

"Sir, he says to prove your respect for him and hsi people, you must marry his daughter."
"His daughter?"
"Come on Listy, so she's a gelf made from the genes of a hippo and an ape. You've dated worse."
"Only due to very poor disco lighting."
"He says no wedding, no deal."
"Hold on, let's get out the sheet music and play the Real Waltz. I am not going down to Moss Bros. for anyone who is less attractive than my own arpit after twenty games of table-tennis."
"Are you going to blow the whole deal just because she doesn't hit your G-spot?"
"Rimmer, beleive me, it would never work out. I'm a Pisces and she's part smegging hippopotamus - that, to my mind, makes us incompatible." (Last Human)

"Everything in this room is eatable. In fact, even I am eatable. But that, children, is called cannabilism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." (Willy Wonka)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Love is Brutal by gossamernomore reviews
What frightened them were the things that lived in their minds, Toki realized; things they still loved, despite the horror and terror that laced that love. Skwisgaar x Toki, don't like don't read.
Metalocalypse - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 51,184 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 1/9/2012 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Toki W., Skwisgaar S.
Secrets of the Forbidden Broomcloset by Anthea Rose reviews
Draco Malfoy is beyond infuriated when a bored Daily Prophet pins him as gay, and he's willing to do anything to prove his heterosexuality - even accept help from an aloof but sympathizing Harry Potter. DMHP SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 137,386 - Reviews: 4461 - Favs: 2,480 - Follows: 1,569 - Updated: 7/16/2006 - Published: 5/13/2004 - Draco M., Harry P.
Unspeakable Desire by Enelya Cuthlion reviews
SiriusRemus Slash Fic. Going to be humour yet still have a storyline! I hope. Finer details are still getting worked out but probably best that it's posted so that I feel obliged to finish. Set in Marauders 6th Year, from Remus' point of view.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,162 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 4/16/2006 - Published: 2/11/2006 - Sirius B., Remus L.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Practice reviews
Oneshot. Skwisgaar is worried about Toki's complete disregard for guitar practice, despite his constant requests for solos. Swisgaar/Toki fluff with mostly Angry!Toki.
Metalocalypse - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,830 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/17/2013 - Skwisgaar S., Toki W. - Complete
Roses AKA Harry Potter and the Overbearing OC reviews
Some people say that it’s not the storyline it’s how it’s written. I’m putting this theory to the test. This is a story about a quest for power, a forbidden relationship and an OC, all in Hogwarts 6th year. Give it a chance. You may be surprised. DEAD END
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 59,205 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 6/27/2007 - Published: 5/31/2004
Before the Banishment reviews
A prologue composed of sections revealing insight into King Lear and his daughters' actions. Meet baby Cordelia, Gonerill and Regan and read Shakespeare's original opening words in novel format!
Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,748 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/6/2007 - Complete
Moonlight and Darkness reviews
Oneshot. Remus fears the moonlight. Sirius helps him forget about it. SLASH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,272 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Published: 10/24/2006 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Charlene and the Meatworks Factory reviews
Cannabilism just got funny! .Oneshot.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,253 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/14/2005 - Complete
XDeleted ScenesX reviews
Deleted and extra scenes from 'Roses A.K.A Harry Potter and the Overbearing OC'.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,992 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7/26/2005 - Published: 7/24/2005