Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.Hey. You’re probably wondering who I am and why the heck you even bothered to read this. Well, I can’t help you with the last one, but I can tell you a little about myself. My name is Callie* and I’m the oldest of six kids. That’s right. Six. I’m sixteen and the youngest is eight. Not to mention I have two dogs, Misty and Scruffy. Needless to say, it’s crazy at my house. The moment you walk into my house, it’s like stepping into a war zone. On average, I have to break up at least two cat fights en route to my bedroom. Unfortunately, there’s five girls and one boy, so when ever a rare find such as a brush or nail file is discovered, WWIII begins. *Sigh* Don’t ever wish for an exciting life, because you may very well regret it. Believe me.
I know you you’re just dying to hear about my extremely active family, so here you go! My sister Haley* is fourteen. She’s home-schooled and is the best cook in the world. Not only that, but she crochets, makes quilts, organizes to perfection, and can French braid like a pro. But don’t ever mess with her stuff. She will kill (I mean that literally. She chased my little sister Janet around with a knife once, when she had accidentally flushed all her body wash down the toilet. Kinda scary.)
Next is Casey*. She’s twelve and is probably the calmest out of the bunch. She’s home-schooled and pretty quiet most of the time. She reads her books, does her chores, and is for the most part, pretty patient. She seems like the average, normal kid. Not so. She’s the biggest environmental freak I’ve ever seen. You know the people who actually put those dorky bumper stickers about recycling on their car? She’s already started a collection. The other day, we were at an RV place and my dad was cleaning out his car. He was about to throw away a single aluminum can, when Casey went berserk. She went into this whole lecture about killing the environment. She served soy nuts as a vegetable. Wouldn’t be surprised if she started petitioning for equal rights for dolphins. Have fun, Casey. Just remind me to disown once you start high school.
Next, is my brother Patrick*. He’s... definitely one of a kind. Barely eleven, he’s a computer genius and knows basic Algebra. He’s already creating his own video games. He’s also a big Poke’mon freak too (no offense, Patrick). Cushioned from living with all girls, he is a little bit of a wimp, but that’s okay. When he becomes the next Bill Gates, I won’t be complaining. More likely, I’ll be begging for a little extra $.
Up next is Katie*. At nine years, she is already obsessed with make-up, boys and clothes. She’s a wanna-be teenager. She’s even dramatic enough to fit the description. One flaw. She’s a little gossip. She feels it her duty as my younger sister to tell the world who I like. Just wait ‘till I tell Brad, though, about her little *crush* (he-he).
Last, but definitely not least, is Janet*. At eight years, she appears to be the cutest thing ever. Blond hair, blue eyes, she looks like a little angel. Not the case. If anything, she’s the destroying angel. Leave her in a room for fifteen minutes alone, and you’ll find a disaster. She can be cute, though. That is, when she wants to. She also is into boys. Usually Patrick’s friends. Every time Josh* comes over, Janet chases him around the house, trying to kiss him. Poor boy.
Then, there are my dogs. They are definitely messed up. Misty, the girl, is definitely the Alpha of the two. Calm and laid back, she the dog that just hangs out with you. She’s also the guard dog of the house. Every visitor has to be thoroughly inspected (and I mean thoroughly). And, she’s the smarter of the two. She can open a door all by herself, and knows how to get the bread down from the top of the fridge. Her biggest quirk, is the fact that she seems to think she’s a guy. She’s always mounting Scruffy, and biting him you-know-where. She even pees like a guy dog.
Now Scruffy, on the hand, is very feminine (even though he’s a guy). When ever it snows, he tip-toes through the snow, whining the whole way. Misty rolls in it. He also tries the cute look whenever he wants food. Misty just grabs it out of your hand. He’s not very bright. He’s always under foot and runs into walls on a daily basis. But, all said and done, he is more fun. He’ll curl up in your lap and play catch. Misty just stares at you when you try to play with her. So, take your pick. Personally, I like Misty the best (Stupidity annoys me).
Together, we’re a force to reckon with. Apart, we’re the essence of chaos. Throw in some PMS, personality disorders like OCD and ADHD, and some sugar, and we could burn the city down.
I know, I know. I still haven’t told you about me. Here’s my debut. Now, don’t start wetting your pants. I know you’re just ecstatic. I’m sixteen (yeah, I know I already told you that. I’m just restating for those who aren’t too bright in the head). I’ve got crazy red hair that refuses to go straight or curly. I have who-knows how many freckles and blue eyes with icicles through them (Ha-ha. Even think of calling me an ice you-know-what, and I may ~accidentally~ throw the keyboard at you). I’m 5’7.5”, which is gi-normous for my school. The guys barely reach five feet. Woe is me!
Now that you know how I look, here’s a bit about my personality. I’m not... exactly what you’d call normal. First off, I have a disorder called OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), which means that I’m an extreme perfectionist. You know, the people who wash their hands a million times? That’s me. Luckily, I take meds for that, and it levels everything out. For the most part, anyways. I still am a bit of a neat freak when it comes to organizing my binder. Next, I’m extremely moody. One moment, I’m extremely hyper, and the next, I’m in the depths of despair. My best friend claims I’m bi-polar. Maybe she’s right.
Next, I am an extreme fan of Shakespeare. My mom hid my copy of Romeo and Juliet after enduring weeks of listening to me recite the book over and over. I got a new copy. ;> But for the moment, it’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. We’re studying it in theater class, and I absolutely LOVE it. If you haven’t read it, you definitely need to (unless of course, you happen to be some freak of nature that actually has the capacity to hate such in-depth and beautiful literature like Shakespeare. Then you may not want to read it.)
I also am obsessed with Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Lord of the Rings, I like mainly because Viggo Mortensen *sigh* plays Aragorn in the movie. As for Harry, I hate the kid, but I LOVE Sirius, Lupin, and Snape. And don’t forget Dumbledore. I seriously think that the new generation rotted out in the books. Except for Granger. She’s brilliant. She really should have been put into Slytherin. Anyways... I like Pirates because of Johnny Depp. He’s awesome! Not only hot, but hilarious. Perfect package (not like that, you corrupted reader, you.)
My favorite kind of music is Country. I love Shania Twain, Alan Jackson, Reba McEntire, Randy Travis and many more. I don’t know what it is about country that just enraptures me. I guess it’s sort of like comfort food, because my momma used to sing it to me all the time when I was younger. Any-who (and yes, it is any-who. Not any-hoo. That’s so unoriginal.), I sing it all the time, annoying everyone. Especially the kids on my bus. They like rap and hip-hop.
But probably the most the unique thing about me is my religion. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Yes, we are the Mormons. First off, let’s set a few things straight. If you don’t like me and are some prejudice jerk who can’t let other people have their own opinions and beliefs, you are more than welcome to stop reading. No one’s making you. And if you even try to stalk me and kill me, I’ll sick Misty on you and you won’t like that (ask the mailman).
Still reading? Good. Now here’s Numero dos. I am Christian. Look at the name of my church. It has Jesus Christ in the title. Think about it. Number three. Neither am I some devil-worshiping cult member that sacrifices little kids. Definitely not. I’m Christian. If I’m Christian, why would I worship the devil? Next, I do not worship Joseph Smith. Did the Hebrews worship Moses? No. They looked to him to get revelation from God. He himself was not God. Same situation here. Number five. I do not have three moms. Polygamy was done away with in the 1800’s. Get over it. Six: Yes, it is true that there are certain specifications on clothing. I’m not going to walk around wearing some skimpy miniskirt that barely covers my butt and some dinky little shirt that’s barely three inches. Think of it this way: If you don’t want guys to think you’re easy access, don’t dress like you’re easy access. Then again, if that’s the impression you want to give guys, go right ahead. It’s your body, not mine. Here come lucky number seven. No, I don’t drink, smoke cigarettes, or abuse any other drugs. I’m not dumb enough to destroy my body for “fun”. I have a life. I’m going to be a writer someday.
Listen. I’ll respect your opinions and beliefs if you respect mine, ok? Ok. Now that we have that cleared up and we’re on common ground, we can continue.
Welcome to my every day, average-joe (or I guess average-jane in my case) life. I am not some supermodel or undercover spy for the CIA (as much as I wish I could be). I am a regular kid with a regular life (okay, so not really. But you get the point.) As I said before, feel free to stop reading if at any point you start to doze off because I’m so boring. Otherwise, yay for you!
*Names were changed to protect privacy. That eliminates all evil stalker dudes from finding out where we live and try to kill us. Okay, so I didn’t change my dogs’ name, but they aren’t registered, so I don’t think it’s that big a deal.
P.S. I also post stories under the penname Laughing Tears at www.fitionpress.com, and frozen tears at www.lordandladysnape.net.