*Recently Updated* Taking a creative writing break. Hit a wall trying to update my stories. Still doing my Beta work, so hopefully that can get me back in gear!

A profile eh? I would assume that some basic information would go here. Given the lack of sections and complete dearth of any kind of expected structure, I'll just have to wing it.

First off, greetings! I read at a rather obsessive rate. One could even say that I "consume" content and convert it into the energy necessary to "consume" more.

Secondly, I'm an American male just reaching middle-age. As such, I have a rather high expectation for well-written content. Wait, that had nothing to do with my grammar-nazi nature. Yes, I said grammar-NAZI. Words are words people, YOU assign them meaning on your own. I like to look at the term grammar-nazi as one who follows protocols to their strictest interpretation. No deviation is allowed to continue to exist once it has been called out.

Thirdly, I have a low ability for content creation and am currently working on a few submissions that I hope at least some people enjoy.

*Original story has been turned into a Bleach FF and uploaded.

On to Fanfiction pertinent information:

Far and away my favorite is Bleach. Kubo-sensei gave us a masterpiece to enjoy all the way up to the end of the FKT arc. Once his publishers decided he had to continue to "Milk the Goat" so to speak, everything went down hill. Just my honest opinion. The LSS arc was fail on a grand scale with some flashes of Kubo-sensei's talent. The TYBW arc, which is highly presumed to be the finale due to character deaths, is hitting DBZ levels of fail. I am finishing this merely to see it through.

Running in second, by another large gap is Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei. Sato-sensei exploded with this little gem. Quite possibly my favorite character of all time, Shiba Tatsuya. I could do without the overzealous bro-con elements, but once you realize that nothing will EVER come from that, it get's much easier to enjoy. I am thoroughly enjoying the light novels and am in the middle of book thirteen.

Rounding out my top three is Clannad. If ever there was a story that gave me joy, exhilaration, heartbreak and mind-crushing agony all within one story, it's Clannad. No shame at all, I cried my eyes out during the Afterstory arc. I am a parent myself, so this one hit way too close to home. The only reason Clannad isn't my number one is due to the slapstick humor that pervades the story. I like humor, but slapstick is a bit much when you consider that this is a deep drama.

I enjoy a lot of titles, way too many to list here, so I'll skip on over to my FF likes and dislikes.

BASE RULES

YAOI pairings - No thanks. Not my taste. I have no issue with side characters being paired off YAOI, but do not focus on or attempt a MC YAOI or your story WILL be passed over.

YURI pairings - Much the same as YAOI pairings, keep it limited to side characters and do not focus on this pairing. Exceptions to be noted as they come up, one so far.

Underage pairings - NO, just no. Do NOT attempt to subvert this by time-skipping! Characters must be aged fourteen or better within the canon to be up for some kind of relationship. This applies mainly to story leads. IF you choose to make an allusion to a side pairing in an epilogue, I will tend to overlook it in respect to a solid story.

OC X MC pairings - Look, I get it. You love your fantasy characters so much you make another fantasy character to live your life vicariously through them. Just don't use a MC of any storyline. Grab a side character and have a whirl. Try not to focus on your OC too much and I will likely enjoy your story.

Non-canon pairings - Don't try to shove non-canon attractions onto MC females. It just feels wrong for a canon attraction to get completely over-written just to fulfill a "what if" scenario. Side Note: This only applies to females that showed an obvious attraction, those without any shown attractions are up for grabs except where otherwise already noted. Why did I focus on females here? Simple really, males are often shown to have multiple attractions in their stories, whereas females often only have one. If a story has a male character with only one attraction and it never wavers, then the same rules apply to that male.

Genderbender MCs - Please don't. The characters are great, don't mess with them that much.

Crossovers - At first I was greatly opposed to XOvers, but then I realized that the majority of that was because of the ridiculously huge amount of very poorly written ones. EX: Naruto is godlike and gets all the girls even though the guys they initially liked are NOTHING like him!!! Sorry peeps, Naruto is a whiny little bitch that took several years of development to grow up. *Full Disclosure* I loathe Naruto, both the character and the universe. I'm not entirely certain as to why, but the whiny Naruto and emo Sasuke have a lot to do with it.

Forcing characters to fit your, or any, religion. Please leave them as they are written. EX: All Bleach chars are Shinto, Buddhist or secular. Stop "christianizing" them!

BLEACH

Ichigo X (Any Fem) - Hard to find a pairing here that doesn't work. Obvious scratch out to Karin/Yuzu, minor scratch out for Kukaku if you can't handle the different customs of Japan.

Ichigo X Harem - Hrm, harems are really hard to make work, but give it a go if you want to. Most of the harems I've seen fail miserably at making it believable once they pass two or three girls. The greatest failure is trying to make Ichigo a ladies man type, it just doesn't work.

(Non-Ichigo) X Orihime - Fail, fail, FAIL! Extra shit on UlquiHime! You know who you are, crawl in a hole and read your hyper-emo bullshit to yourself. ONE allowable exception, Tatsuki X Orihime. For some strange reason I see this working quite well. I have read one story that used it on the side and I was shocked at how well it worked.

(Non-Ichigo) X Tatsuki - She just doesn't display any level of attraction for anyone really. Her feelings for Ichigo can easily be nakama only. Exception for TatsHime, this actually works quite well.

(Non-Ichigo/Renji) X Rukia - More fail! If she isn't with either of them, then she is a spinster, just like Orihime!

Ishida(Uryu) X Nemu - So far the ONLY pairing I actually enjoy with him.

(ANY PAIRING AT ALL) X Karin/Yuzu - Crawl in a hole and die you sick Hebephilia bastards! These girls, repeat GIRLS, are underage! No time-skips to save your asses, just leave them the hell alone! Extra shit on HitsuKarin! You stupid shits, he's OBVIOUSLY in love with Momo! For crap's sake, he outright claims that his only reason of getting stronger is to protect her. Extra shit on JintaYuzu! Just don't..., you know what, let's just leave it at enormous piles of shit on any story that uses either of them in a pairing except in brief mentions in an epilogue.

MAHOUKA KOUKOU NO RETTOUSEI

Tatsua X (Any Fem) - Much like Ichigo, he fits well with just about every girl in that universe. Obvious scratch out to Miyuki, unless you pull the "not truly related" card, this is not a spoiler as the series has made it abundantly clear that they are in fact true siblings.

(Anyone) X Miyuki - Hardcore fail with the sole exception being listed above. I mean seriously, she's practically yandere for Tatsuya, you honestly want people to believe that she'd just NOT have that attraction anymore?

(Non-Tatsuya) X Mayumi/Honoka/Shizuku/Angelina - Just don't. None of them show ANY attraction to anyone other than Tatsuya. Not even the tiniest bit of attraction for anyone else from all these girls!

CLANNAD

For the love of all that you hold dear, keep the pairings CANON! Given that it started off as a Visual Novel, all MC Females are up for a pairing with Tomoya. Try to pair one off with Youhei and I will hunt you down. Give him an OC if you want him to get some love.

FULL METAL ALCHEMIST

Edward X Winry - No other pairing works.

Alphonse X Mei(May) - Same as above.

Mustang X Hawkeye - Same as above.

FULL METAL PANIC

Sousuke X Kaname/Teletha - No other pairing works.

Kurz X Melissa(Mao) - Same as above.

SHINGEKI NO KYOUJIN

Eren X Mikasa - No other pairings work.

More to come as I continue to read.

*FAVORITES CORNER*

Shout outs to stories that are the best with each pairing. -- In Progress

Ichigo X Orihime - After Life by XtremeGal87 Powerful. Deals well with a dark situation. Highly recommended! She has stopped writing FF to pursue a professional career, give it a go if you like her stories.

Ichigo X Rukia - Shadow of the Day by ForeverSam This one took a lot of thought, but I am happy with my choice. A very emotional AU IchiRuki.

Ichigo X Yoruichi - Coming Back To Life by Kiwifan7 This came out of nowhere for me, I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. Solid read! *On-Going*

Ichigo X Tatsuki - Afterthought / Touched by MiraResQNU This is a series. *On-Going* Appears to be on hiatus again. :'(

Ichigo X Neliel(Nel) - Neliel Tu Kurosaki? by Platinumsabr

Ichigo X Harribel(Tia) - A Hollow Queen's Dark Knight / Days of Night by Wiggles-n-stuff This is a series. *On-Going*

Shout outs to current writers that really have some awesome work! -- In Progress

Kiwifan7 -- A Different Path / Coming Back To Life - Very good work. High quality writing with powerful emotions.

Gone Wanderlust -- Once More - Amazingly high quality writing. Rapidly becoming one of the best authors I've seen on FF ever.

Closing Remarks:

Yes, I would like to help grammar and spell check on stories that fit my favorite categories. My beta talents lie in those two areas only. I can assist with "Americanizing" your turn of phrases and make sure there is no 'Lost in Translation" moment. I cringe at Engrish. I wish I had edit powers to jump in and fix these little mistakes, alas I will wait for those who choose to ask for assistance.

Dos