Author has written 3 stories for Sailor Moon, and Inuyasha.
Hello, and welcome to the Twilight Zone
"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." -William Shakespeare- A Midsummer Night's Dream
"In my stars I am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." -William Shakespeare- Twelfth Night, Act II, Scene V
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
-William Shakespeare- Macbeth, Act V Scene V
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."
-William Shakespeare- As You Like It
If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
-William Shakespeare- Twelfth Night
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
-William Shakespeare- Hamlet, act I scene III
Only after the last tree has been cut down,
only after the last river has ben poisoned,
only after the last fish has been caught,
only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
-American Indian Proverb- Cree Indian Prophecy
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Walk beside me; that we may be as one.
-American Indian Proverb- Ute
If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot...reading is the creative center of a writer's life...you cannot hope to sweep someone else away by the force of your writing until it has been done to you. -Stephen King-
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
-Edgar Allan Poe- The Raven
"As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd stay away."
-Hughes Mearns-The Psychoed
Troy Bolton:East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brulee, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor. It's a place where one person, if it's the right person, changes us all. East High is having friends we'll keep for the rest of our lives, and that means we really are 'all in this together'. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat! -High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Gomez:Have no fear. The courts will decide. They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool. -The Addams Family
Peter Pevensie: That's the trouble, girls. You can't keep a map in your heads.
Lucy Pevensie: That's because our heads have something in them. -The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Reepicheep:Choose your last words carefully, Telmarine.
Prince Caspian: You are a mouse.
Reepicheep: I was hoping for something a little more original. -The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Lucy Pevensie: They're so still.
Trumpkin:The trees? What did you expect?
Lucy Pevensie: They used to dance. -The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Addams Family/Addams Family Values
Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious.
(Gomez refers to the girl popping out of the cake at a bachelor party)
Lurch was she in there before you baked it?
Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
Leonardo da Vinci: You cannot leave everything to Fate, boy. She's got a lot to do. Sometimes you must give her a hand.
Danielle: Forgive me your highness, I did not see you.
Prince Henry: Your aim would suggest otherwise.
Danielle: You, sir, are supposed to be charming.
Prince Henry: And we, princess, are supposed to live happily ever after.
Danielle: Says who?
Prince Henry: You know, I don't know.
Prince Henry: You told me it was a matter of life or death.
Leonardo DaVinci: A woman always is.
Grand Dame: And though Cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point, gentleman, is that they lived.
Prince Henry: And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or she does, and you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention!
Danielle: A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?
Leonardo da Vinci: Then I shall have to make you wings.
Danielle: It is not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but i have yet to learn yours.
Prince Henry: But I should think it was quite obvious.
King Francis: I will simply deny you the crown and...live forever!
Young Gustave: You look like a girl!
Young Danielle: That's what I am, half-wit!
Young Gustave: Yeah, but today you look it!
After DaVinci opens a locked door by removing the pins from the hinges
Louise: Why, that was pure genius!
Leonardo da Vinci: Yes, I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door!
When the prince asks her to choose a book
Danielle: I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens.
Jacqueline is complaining about having to dress up like a horse for the masque
Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Honestly, Jacqueline, a horse is one of God's noblest creatures.
Jacqueline: Why don't I just pull the carriage while I'm at it.
Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Well, if you think it will get us there any faster.
Never Been Kissed
Guy Perkins: Hi I'm Guy.
Josie Geller: yes you are a guy. quite a guy. oh my. Hey that rymes! yikes. bikes!
Guy Perkins: are you in special ed? I mean, are you?
Josie Geller: I have been beating my brains in trying to impress you people. Listen Gibby, Kirstin, Krysten, you will spend your whole lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important, but why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is amazing. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friends after my brother, Rob , told you to like me. There is a great big world out there and it won't matter if you were the most popular girl, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.
Sam: "When you're my age, guys'll be lined up around the corner for you."
Josie: "You're just saying that because you're my teacher."
Sam: "Actually, I shouldn't be saying that because I'm your teacher."
Fat Man on Bench: It was a bullet wasn't it?
Forrest: A bullet?
Fat Man on Bench: that jumped up and bit ya...
Forrest: oh, yes sir, bit me directly in the buttocks...they the army surgeons said it was a million dollar wound, the army must keep that money 'cause I ain't seen a nickle o' that million dollars"
Forrest: "Mama always said, dying was a part of life."
Forrest: "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is."
Forrest: "Mama always said life was like a box a chocolates, never know what you're gonna get."
Bubba: "Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it."
Forrest Gump: "Stupid is as stupid does."
Genii: Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds.
Genii: Rule Number Three: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, and I don't like doing it!
Genii: Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand till the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you, good bye, good bye, thank you, good bye. Now, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin: Oh you sure fooled me. Now about my 3 wishes.
Genii: Dost my ears deceive me? 3? You are down by one, boy.
Aladdin: Ah no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave. You did that on your own.
Genii: Oh. Well I feel sheepish. Alright, you baaaaaad boy, but no more freebies.
Jafar: How many times do I have to kill you, boy?
The Genii: It's all part and parcel of the whole genii gig: phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty living space.
Sultan: Jafar! You vile betrayer!
Iago: That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you!
The Genii and the flying carpet are playing chess.
The Genii: So move.
The carpet makes a move.
The Genii: That was a good move. Ala Rodney Dangerfield I can't believe this; I'm losin' to a rug!
The Genii: It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp!
The Genii: Yo rug-man! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel!
The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
The Joker: I've been dead once already; it's very liberating. You might think of it as... therapy.
The Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?
Jack Napier: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Vicki Vale: Some people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic.
Vicki Vale: Some people say the same about you.
Batman: What people?
Vicki Vale: Well, face it. You're not exactly normal, are you?
Batman: This isn't exactly a normal world, is it?
George of the Jungle
(Translating with a Swahili phrasebook.)
Lyle: "Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning."
Ursula's mother: "Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall."
Ape: "Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall."
Ape: ""All of George's secrets." There's the shortest book ever written."
Ape: "George, remember the time I told you about Queens-bury rules and fighting fair? Well, now's a good time to forget it."
George: "To swing or not to swing...swing."
Narrator: "And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies on the perilous paths. When they beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, the reacted with awe."
Narrator: "I said "awe." A-W-E."
Narrator: "That's better."
Narrator: "The jungle king was pleased to find that he looked pretty good in Armani."
George: "Pretty darn good."
Narrator: "Meanwhile, at a very expensive waterfall set..."
Narrator: "Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos."
Narrator: "George can't die because he's the star."
Hamlet: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio - a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his back a thousand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung these lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Hamlet: You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will more willingly part withal - except my life, except my life.
Hamlet: To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.
Hamlet: There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE
Indiana Jones: Archaeology is the search for fact... not truth.
Henry Jones: You call THIS archaeology?!
Indiana: Sallah, I said NO camels! That's FIVE camels; can't you count?
Walter Donovan: Germany has declared war on the Jones boys.
Panama Hat: This is the second time I've had to reclaim my property from you!
Indiana Jones: That belongs in a museum!
Panama Hat: So do you!
Henry: They're trying to kill us!
Indiana Jones: I know, Dad!
Henry: This is a new experience for me.
Indiana Jones: It happens to me all the time.
Indiana Jones: Listen. Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait. We're caught in the middle of something sinister here, my guess is dad found out more than he was looking for and until I'm sure, I'm going to continue to do things the way I think they should be done.
Escaping in a biplane
Henry Jones: I didn't know you could fly.
Indy: Fly, yes. Land, no.
Nazi colonel Vogel is torturing Henry to get answers
Colonel Vogel: Tell me about this miserable little diary of yours. The book is useless and yet you come all the way back to Berlin to get it. Why?
He slaps Henry in the face with his glove
Colonel Vogel: Why?
He slaps him again
Colonel Vogel: What are you hiding?
He slaps him again
Colonel Vogel: What does the diary tell you that it doesn't tell us?
He tries to slap him again until Henry grabs a hold of his hand
Professor Henry Jones: It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.
Indiana Jones: I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up.
Henry: Sorry about the head but I thought that you were one of them.
Indiana Jones: Dad, they come in through the doors!
Henry: Ha, good point.
On why Henry calls Indy "Junior"
Sallah: Please, what does it always mean, this... this "Junior"?
Professor Henry Jones: That's his name. points to himself Henry Jones... points to Indy ...Junior.
Indiana Jones: I like "Indiana."
Professor Henry Jones: We named the dog Indiana.
Marcus Brody: May we go home now, please?
Sallah: The dog?! You are named after the dog?!
Indiana Jones: I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog.
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
Short Round: I keep telling you, you listen to me more, you live longer!
Indy signals his intention to cut the rope bridge.
Willie Scott: Oh my God. Oh my God, is he nuts?
Short Round: He no nuts, he's crazy!
A League of Their Own
(Ernie sees Dottie and Kit vigorously milking cows.)
Ernie Capadino: "Ow! Doesn't that hurt them?"
Dottie Hinson: "Doesn't seem to."
Ernie Capadino: "Well, it would bruise the hell out of me."
Dottie Hinson: "Who are you?"
Ernie Capadino: "I'm Ernie Capadino. I'm a baseball scout. I saw you playing today. Not bad, not bad. You ever heard of Walter Harvey, makes Harvey bars -- you know, the candy?"
Dottie Hinson: "Yeah. We feed them to the cows when they're constipated."
Ernie Capadino: "That's the guy. He's starting a girls' baseball league, so he can make a buck while the boys are overseas. Wanna play?"
Dottie Hinson: "Huh?" Ernie Capadino: "Nice retort. Tryouts are in Chicago. It's a real league, professional."
Kit Keller: "Professional -- baseball?"
Ernie Capadino: "Mmm-hmm. They'll pay you 75 dollars a week."
Kit Keller:" We only make 30 at the dairy!"
Ernie Capadino: "Well then, this would be more, wouldn't it?"
Kid: "What's your rush, dollbody? What do you say we slip in the back seat, and make a man out of me?"
Dottie Hinson: "What do you say I smack you around for a while?"
Kid: "Can't we do both?"
(Meeting after almost 50 years)
Older Dottie: "You haven't changed one bit."
Older Ellen Sue: "Dottie, I married a plastic surgeon!"
Umpire: "Yesterday that might've been a ball, tomorrow it might be a ball, but today it was a strike!"
The Lion King
Timon: "Hey, what's going on here? Who's the monkey!?"
Nala: Simba's gone back to challenge Scar.
Pumbaa: "Who's got a scar?"
Nala: "No no no no, it's his uncle."
Timon: "The monkey's his uncle?"
Nala: "NO! Simba's gone back to challenge his uncle to take his place as King."
Timon and Pumbaa: "Ohhh."
(Rafiki hits Simba on the head)
Simba: "What was that for?"
Rafiki: "It doesn't matter, it's in the past."
Simba: "Yeah, but it still hurts."
Rafiki: "Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you either run from it, or learn from it. (swings his stick at Simba again who ducks out of the way) Ah! You See? So what are you going to do?"
The Little Mermaid
Sebastian: Will you get your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it belongs!
Ariel: I've never seen a human this close before. Oh - he's very handsome, isn't he?
Scuttle: Looking at Max, Eric's dog I dunno, he looks kinda hairy and slobbery to me.
Ariel: Is he - dead?
Scuttle: Opens Eric's eyelid It's hard to say. Puts his ear against Eric's foot Oh, I - I can't make out a heartbeat.
Sebastian: Ariel? Ariel? Oh... somebody's got to nail that girl's fins to the floor.
Sebastian: Are you sure about this?
Scuttle: Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it's important!
The Man in the Iron Mask
Louis: "Bring me the heads of Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, or I will have yours. And as for you, back to the prison you will go. And into the mask you hate. Wear it 'til you love it! And die in it."
Phillippe: "I wear the mask. It does not wear me."
The Mask Of Zorro
Don Diego de la Vega: You have passion, Alejandro, and your skill is growing. But to enter Montero's world, I must give you something which is completely beyond your reach.
Alejandro Murrieta: Ah, yes? And what is that?
Don Diego de la Vega: Charm.
Alejandro: I've never lost a fight!
Don Diego de la Vega: Except to a crippled old man just now.
Captain Harrison Love: The lady and I were trying to dance.
Alejandro Murrieta: You were trying. She was succeeding.
Don Diego de la Vega: Do you know how to use that thing?
Alejandro Murrieta: Yes! The pointy end goes into the other man.
The Mighty Ducks
Goldberg: Be careful man, it almost hit me that time!
Charlie Conway: Goldberg, you're the goalie. It's supposed to hit you.
Goldberg: Does that sound stupid to anyone else?
Gordon Bombay: I hate kids. They're barely human.
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Well, my idea of a perfect date would be April 23rd. Because it's not too warm or too cold, and all you need is a light jacket.
Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!
Victor Melling: What, no armored car?
Gracie Hart: It's in my other dress.
Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.
Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.
Stan: What is the one most important thing our society needs?
Gracie Hart: That would be... harsher punishment for parole violaters, Stan. Crowd is silent. And world peace!
Crowd cheers ecstatically.
Stan: Isn't she lovely! Thank you, Gracie Lou.
Gracie Hart: And thank YOU, Stan.
Gracie walks offstage.
Victor Melling: That was wonderful, are you drunk?
Gracie Hart: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!
Evelyn: Look, I -- I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell! But I am proud of what I am!
Rick O'Connell: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian!
After a shipwreck.
Beni: Hey O'Connell! Looks to me like we've got all the horses!
Rick O'Connell: Hey Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!
Hangman: Any last requests?
Rick O'Connell: Yeah, loosen the knot and let me go.
Rick O'Connell: I've been to Hamunaptra.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick O'Connell: Every damn day.
Winston: So what does your little problem have to do with His Majesty's Air Force
Rick O'Connell: Not a damn thing!
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick O'Connell: Well, you probably won't live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everyone else we've bumped into has died. Why should you be any different?
Rick O'Connell: Don't worry. I'll figure something out.
Evelyn: You better. Because if he turns me into a mummy, you're the first one I'm coming after.
Evelyn: You lied to me!
Jonathan: I lie to everyone. What makes you so special?
Rick O'Connell: I only gamble with my life, never my money.
Rick O'Connell: Can you swim?
Evelyn: Well of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.
Rick O'Connell: throwing her overboard Trust me, it calls for it!
Evelyn: drunk You're wondering what a place like me is doing in a girl like this.
Upon opening the tomb
Evelyn: I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.
Rick O'Connell: You dream about dead guys?
Winston: What's the plan?
Rick O'Connell: Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.
Evelyn 'Evie' Carnahan: Um, by the way, why did you kiss me?
Rick O'Connell: Heh, I don't know, I was about to be hanged, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Rick O'Connell: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you.
Beni Gabor: Think of my children!
Rick O'Connell: You don't have any children
Beni Gabor: Someday I might.
Rick O'Connell: That's called "stealing," you know.
Evelyn 'Evie' Carnahan: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."
Rick O'Connell: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Evelyn 'Evie' Carnahan: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.
Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.
Rick: Not right now it isn't.
After a mysterious wind blows up for the umpteenth time.
Rick O'Connell: That happens a lot around here, doesn't it?
Rick O'Connell: So what's the scam Beni? You take them out into the middle of the desert and then you leave 'em to rot?
Beni Gabor: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo, so this time I must go all the way.
Rick O'Connell: Them's the breaks, huh?
Dr. Bey, the Curator: We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do anything and everything in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from ever being reborn into this world.
Ardeth Bay: Now, thanks to you, we have failed.
Evelyn 'Evie' Carnahan: And you think that justifies the killing of innocent people?
Dr. Bey, the Curator: To stop this creature? Let me think...
Dr. Bey, the Curator, Ardeth Bay: YES!
Rick O'Connell: You're gonna get yours, Beni! You're gonna get yours!
Beni Gabor: Oh, like I've never heard THAT before!
Beni: As long as I serve him, I am immune.
O'Connell: Immune from what?
Beni: Piszkas allat.
O'Connel: What did you say?
Beni: I don't want to tell you. You'll just hurt me some more.
The Mummy Returns
Ardeth Bay: Don't you see? By putting on the Bracelet, your son has started a chain reaction that will awaken the Scorpion King and bring about the end of the world.
Rick O'Connell: To Ardeth You, lighten up. To Alex You, big trouble. To Jonathan You, get in the car.
witnessing Imhotep's resurrection
Rick O'Connell: A few years ago I would have thought this was very strange.
Alex: My dad is going to kick your ass!
Imhotep: I do not think so!
Rick: This is bad.
Evie: We've had bad before.
Rick: This is worse.
Alex O'Connell: Are we there yet?
Alex O'Connell: Are we there yet?
Alex O'Connell: Are we there yet?
Alex O'Connell: Are we-- Lock-Nah stabs his knife right between Alex's fingers. Wow, that's amazing! Perfect aim!
Lock-Nah: What are you talking about? I missed.
Jonathan: I told you! I told you!
Meela: And your point is?
Jonathan: Well, I told you what you wanted to know so you wouldn't kill me!
Meela: When did we make that arrangement?
Alex O'Connell: The Book of the Dead!
Meela: What a clever little boy! Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you wish to ever seeher again, you better behave!
Alex O'Connell: Lady, I don't even behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
Meela: Your parents didn't put poisonous snakes in your bed while you were sleeping!
Izzy: Whatever it is, O'Connell, I'm not interested! Every time I hook up with you, I get shot! Last time I got shot in the arse! I'm still in mourning for my arse!
THE PRINCESS BRIDE
Wesley: I've got to invade a castle with my brains, his strength, and your steele and a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?
Inigo: I give you my word as a Spaniard.
Wesley: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup kisses the senile King.
The King: What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.
The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me!
Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow' us?
Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable! No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. --Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.
Vizzini: What?! Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters…
In the boat in the morning
Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.
Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up??
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: brandishing rock I could kill you now.
Man in Black: I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
Prince Humperdinck: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful!
Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed!
Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage
Man in Black: You are amazing!
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either.
Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! And after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more!
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain. pause No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley: And our assets?
Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.
Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Blinkin, the blind man, is up in a perch looking out for strangers.
Robin Hood: "Blinkin! What are you doing?"
Blinkin: "Guessing. I guess no one's coming."
Blinkin: "Oh Master Robin! hugging a statue You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs."
Robin of Locksley: "Blinkin, I'm over here."
Blinkin falls out of a tree
Blinkin: I can see!
Blinkin runs into a tree
Blinkin: Nope, I was wrong.
Prince John: "And why would the people listen to you?"
Robin of Locksley: "Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent."
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Friar Tuck: "Let us open a bottle and do our best to save each other's souls."
Azeem: "Alas, I am not permitted."
Friar Tuck: "Fine then, you talk, I'll drink."
Sheriff of Nottingham: "Wait a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to hurt the public, and they love him for it? Scribe nods That's it then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!"
Robin has been knocked down once by John Little
Robin of Locksley: "Any suggestions?"
Azeem: "Get up. Move faster."
Robin of Locksley: "Move faster. Great idea."
Talking about how many men that are about to be ambushed
Robin of Locksley: "How many?"
Robin of Locksley: "20?"
Bull further away: "How many?"
Robin of Locksley: "5!"
Robin of Locksley to Azeem: "He can't count anyway."
Robin Hood (Disney)
Girl bunny: "Oh, he's so handsome... just like his reward posters."
Clucky: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Marian: "Or forgetful."
Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No... "Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
He pronounces it ee-gor.
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong, weren't they?
Igor: It's times like this that I remember what my old dad used to say.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: What was that?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom all day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
From inside the haycart.
Inga: Hallo! Vould you like a roll in ze hay?
Dr. Frankenstein stutters
Inga: It's fun!
She begins to roll in the hay.
Inga: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!
Frau Blucher: Would the doctor care for a brandy before retiring?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No. Thank you.
Frau Blucher: Some varm milk... perhaps?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No, thank you very much.
Frau Blucher: Ovaltine?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Nothing! Thank you. I'm a little tired.
Frau Blucher: Then I vill say... goodnight.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Goodnight!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all haveto be increased in size.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous Shwanstooker!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: That music...
Frau Blucher: Yes! It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins! It reaches the soul when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE vas making!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Then it was you all the time!
Frau Blucher: Yes!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You played that music in the middle of the night...
Frau Blucher: Yes!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: ...to get us to the laboratory!
Frau Blucher: Yes!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: That was YOUR cigar smoldering in the ashtray!
Frau Blucher: Yes!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: And it was you... who left my grandfather's book out for me to find!
Frau Blucher: Yes!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: So that I would...
Frau Blucher: Yes!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Then you and Victor were...
Frau Blucher: YES! YES! Say it! He vas my... BOYFRIEND!
Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: What knockers!
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor!
Froederick and Igor are exhuming a dead criminal.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: What a filthy job.
Igor: Could be worse.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: How?
Igor: Could be raining.
It starts to pour.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Do you mean to tell me that I put an abnormal brain into an, 8 foot tall, 300 pound, GORILLA?!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You know, I'm a very prominent surgeon. I can do something about your hump.
Igor: What hump?
Igor: Wait Master, it might be dangerous... you go first.
Inga: You haven't even touched your food.
Friedrich explodes and slaps on his food
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: There! I've touched it!
The gramophone tape during the reading of the will.
Voice of the deceased: All of my possessions will go to my family,
The names of those in the room are read off
Voice of the deceased: "Unless...
Reader of the will: Flip it over!
Herr Falkstein: "Oh!"
Voice of the deceased: My grandson Fredrick has made some grand accomplishment to science. He will then be sole heir of all my earthly possessions.
Heiress: Has he made a contribution to science?
Reader of the will: He is the fifth best in his field!
Heiress: AH SHIT!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: doing a Groucho Marx Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Werewolf?
Igor: There Wolf; There Castle!
In Victor Frankenstein's laboratory
Igor: sings Ain't got no body, and nobody cares for me! Yakata cha!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: Igor!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: How did you get here?
Igor: The dumbwaiter.
Inspector Kemp: Vee had better confeerm de fect dat Yunk Frankenshtein iss indeed VALLOWING EEN EES GANDFADDA'S VOOTSHTAPS!!
Inspector Kemp: Following in his grandfather's footsteps, footsteps, footsteps.
Villagers: Ohhh! Footsteps!
Medical Student: What about your grandfather's work?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: My grandfather's work was doo-doo!
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: singing If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits...
The Monster: in a high, squeaky voice'UTTIN' ON THE 'IIIIITZ!
Upon seeing the monster's manhood
Elizabeth: Oh my God! Woof!
After sex with The Monster
Elizabeth: Oh! Where you going? ...Oh, you men are all alike! Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag! YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Oh... I think I love him!
Back to the Future
Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?
Doctor Emmet Brown: The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?
1955 Doc is watching a video of 1985 Doc
Doctor Emmet Brown: What on Earth's this thing I'm wearing?
Marty McFly: Ah, this, this is a radiation suit.
Doctor Emmet Brown: Radiation suit? Of course, because of all the fallout from the atomic wars!
Mr. Strickland: You don't have a chance, you're too much like your old man. No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley!
Marty McFly: Yeah, well, history is gonna change.
Doctor Emmet Brown: If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour ... you're gonna see some serious shit.
Goldie Wilson: I'll be the most powerful man in Hill Valley, and I'm gonna clean up this town.
Lou: handing him a broom Good, you can start by sweeping the floor.
Lorraine's parents are talking about Marty McFly, Lorraine's future son
Stella Baines: He's a very strange young man.
Sam Baines: He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots too. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid that acts that way I'll disown you.
Dr. Emmet Brown is doubting Marty McFly's story about that he is from the future
Dr. Emmet Brown: Then tell me, "future boy", who is president in the United States in 1985?
Marty McFly: Ronald Reagan.
Dr. Emmet Brown: Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who's Vice President? Jerry Lewis?
Marty McFly: What?
Dr. Emmet Brown: I suppose Jane Wyman is the first lady! And Jack Benny is secretary of the treasury! I've had enough practical jokes for one evening! Good day, future boy!
Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?
Dr. Emmet Brown: Precisely.
Marty McFly: Whoa, this is heavy.
Dr. Emmet Brown: There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?
George McFly: Lou! Give me a milk... dramatic pause Chocolate!
Marty McFly arrives late for his take-off
Dr. Emmet Brown: You got no concept of time!
Dr. Emmet Brown: Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely eighty-eight miles per hour the instant the lightning strikes the tower ... everything will be fine!
Dr. Emmett L. "Doc" Brown: I'm sure in 1985, plutonium is available at every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it's a little hard to come by!
Lines that Make You Smile
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was NOT One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up!
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles must, begin with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. He who dies with the most toys, is nonetheless DEAD.
24. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
25. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
26. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
27. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
28. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
REMEMBER WHEN ...
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.