![]() Author has written 1 story for Final Fantasy: Tactics. Personal Profile Age: My soul is 1313 years old Gender: Male Birthday: Like I'm gonna share that on the internet... Name: Who wants to know? Likes: Good Stories, dragons, videogames, the number 13 Dislikes: Zealots, Children's TV shows that encourage kids to act like frat boys, Twilight Religion: Protestant Christian Political Affiliation: Not even getting close to that can of worms here. As of February 2, 2017, scratch that. I'm an independent that tends to lean conservative. I changed my mind about posting my political affiliation after reading what some "protesters" posted today. It sounded like old-school Soviet propaganda. Trump is the rightfully elected President of the United States, and I heartily disapprove of the actions that my countrymen are taking. If for some reason a leader of the free world is reading this, then, on behalf of my countrymen, I apologize for the shameful way that we have been acting to our duly appointed leader. P.S. Dear CNN, if you're going to blackmail someone, at least have the decency and sense not to f@#$ing advertise it on live TV. I've seen more subtle things from a three-year old you morons. P.P.S. I would like to point out that I posted the 'Political Affiliation' comment before President Trump had managed to do just about anything in office. Admittedly, I don't really follow the news much so I don't know how good of a job he's doing, but I thought people should at least give him a chance before deciding to riot in the streets. Important Note: I do not own or have formal permission from the owners for any pictures that I might use for my stories, I downloaded these pics off the internet. Notes on various cartoons/anime/games: Are Kim Possible's enemies funded by Global Justice? I mean, there is no war in her world (if there is, it never really seems to affect anything), just a bunch of half-competent-at-best "super"villains. What if it is all a strategy by Global Justice to ensure world peace? Has anyone else noticed that Drakken and Shego are kinda like a mirror image version of team possible? If you really wanna know what I mean watch the episode "A Very Possible Christmas." The similarities between the two duos are so blatant it's kinda scary. Are every zanpakutou's powers a representation of the powers that their wielder would have as a hollow? You have to admit, some of those abilities can get pretty twisted. Why are civilians and villagers so damn stupid in manga and anime? 'Hey, that kid could kill us without breaking a sweat. Let's piss him off!' seems to be the thought process of the villagers in Inuyasha and Naruto especially. Newsflash people, it's generally a good idea to make the beings who can kill you, not want to. Is Ururu from Bleach an Anti-Hollow Battle Clone or something? I know that she is usually a quiet little girl, but whenever she spots a hollow, she becomes a quick efficient killer. For Pete's sake, she has something that she refers to as "Genocide Mode." In Fate Stay Night, I've gotta wonder, whose bright idea was it to summon an omnimalevolent god to cheat in the Third Grail War? I mean, I can understand wanting to cheat for a perfect wish, but why THE HELL did the Einzberns choose a god of evil to summon? Who thought that was a good idea?! For Pete's sake, man, was that just the only deity they could get a catalyst for or something? Something that bothered me about Mass Effect for a while, besides 3's crap ending, is that for all the games try to paint Humanity as newcomers, the fact is that in the games, Humanity has adapted far too well for the timeline that they've had. Now that may sound odd, but think about this: did anyone ever see a dog in a mass effect game? Why do humans in the Mass Effect universe just accept all of the Council race's stereotypes? Or, to put it another way, it makes cultural sense for most of the species in Mass Effect to treat the Quarians like dirt, but First Contact with Humanity supposedly happened about 20 years- I think? let's be safe and call it 30- before the first Mass Effect game, and there's not one mention of Human relief efforts or any kind of humanitarian aid provided to the Quarians. In other words, while the story says that humans are the new kids on the block, trying to learn how to fit in, the in-game culture is of a Humanity that has at least of couple of generations of galactic assimilation in its history. 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 Fanfic worthy stuff I know well( or well enough): Bleach One Piece Classic yugioh Pokemon(up to hoenn) Mass Effect Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Negima Fairy tail Sword art online Final fantasy tactic Kingdom hearts (all but dream drop distance) Chrono trigger Final fantasy X Fire emblem awakening Phantom brave Pokemon mystery dungeon Cave story Bartimaeus trilogy Star ocean 1 Nurarihyon no mago Sankarea Is this a zombie High school dxd Naruto Dark cloud Tora kiss To love ru FF7 crisis core FF7 dirge of Cerberus Inuyasha One piece Fullmetal alchemist( both anime) Kekkaishi Suikoden tierkreis Mana khemia Kid Icarus Uprising Kim Possible Accel World Fate Stay Night 6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 Willing to write the following fics: Limited time travel (AKA once or twice/ trapped in a time loop) Citrus-scented text (I’ll leave the actual citrus to the experts) God-like ONLY for characters who have earned it Harem (as long as the lucky guy deserves it. E.G. NOT Aizen) # determined by “playerness,” personality(male & female), and power level Crossover with a reasonable link (keep in mind that 'reasonable' extends to "Zelretch was bored," so make of that what you will) Malexfemale Femalexfemale ONLY within a harem Female pregnancy Incest references( if it fits) “lolis” will be of legal age, or at the very least 16 if citrus-scented Appropriate crossover references 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 Crossover ideas: Fullmetal Alchemist X Mana Khemia Phantom Brave X Bleach Fullmetal Alchemist X Negima FFT X FFX Kingdom Hearts X Fairy Tail FFT X SAO FFT X Negima FMA X Negima Phantom Brave X Negima Phantom Brave X Fairy Tail Kid Icarus X Phantom Brave Inuyasha X Phantom Brave Mana Khemia X Phantom Brave Mana Khemia X Negima Phantom Brave X Naruto Legend of the Legendary heroes X Negima Fullmetal Alchemist X Unbreakable machine doll 6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 Favorite Pairings: IchigoxNel(adult) IchigoxTier IchigoxOrihime IchigoxSenna IchigoxTatsuki IchigoxRangiku IchigoxRukia IchigoxNozomi IchigoxRiruka IchigoxYoruichi Ichigoxharem HitsugayaxKarin HitsugayaxMomo IzuruxRangiku GinxRangiku RenjixRukia UryuxNemu UryuxYoshino KenpachixUnohana(they would make the scariest kids in the universe) NarutoxSakura NarutoxHinata NarutoxYukie NarutoxAnko NarutoxShion Narutoxharem ChojixIno LeexTenten LeexSakura ShikamaruxTemari Pairing Reasons: For the most part I try to follow what's insinuated in canon or I think would be welcomed by the characters involved, meaning that this doesn't include crossover pairings or, for the most part, pairings where the characters don't meet much in canon. I only "forget" this rule when I think that a meeting between the two characters would have been a better idea than them not meeting at all. As for why I only gave Ichigo and Naruto the harem options, I personally think that they are the only two who have earned it through backstory, strength, and heart. As for the others with "multiple" pairings, although they would only be paired one at a time, these are the pairings that I would support because A) He's a nice guy B)I can actually see the girls liking him back, and/or C)He's vehemently protected at least one of them and I couldn't leave them out in good conscience. But seriously, God help us all if Kenpachi Zaraki and Retsu Unohana ever made a family. (P.S. Just in case there was any doubt, the two harem options are female only)(P.P.S. you may have noticed that there is only one "villain" pairing, that is on purpose) 2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 I actually found this endearing. When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him. The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.". If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you. Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. (reposted from Ichifell's page) 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 I am not very religious, but this story spoke to me. I hope that you will read it even if you aren't a Christian, because it reminds us that none of us are ever alone. This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it? If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son then copy and paste this in your profile. (Reposted from ScholarX) 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777 Favorite Quotes: "Many leaves, one tree" -Leafmen-Epic "Abandon your fear, Ichigo! Retreat and you will age, hesitate and you will die! Now say my name!" -Zangetsu-Bleach "If you ever hurt Momo, I'll kill you." -Toshiro Hitsugaya-Bleach "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein "Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to." -Gin Ichimaru-Bleach “I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dream is something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. But the effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility, even in death.” -Monty Oum "Be the miracle." -God-Bruce Almighty "Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's also great motivation. There's nothing quite as inspiring as not knowing that you can't do something." -Kenchi618 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. RIP We shall remember 2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 I never really thought about this before, but I guess it's only fair that someone let this poor mascot finally have a bowl of well-earned cereal. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. (Years ago, he did get a spoonful ONCE...) 2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 Story Ideas (feel free to use these if you like, just please let me know first): Ichigo the 8th Campione (he's still technically human so it works, only problem is what mythological being he would defeat without it being rather a step down) Ichigo sealed into Naruto instead of/with the Kyuubi (no zanpakutou, but still power bleedage *cough*cough*Ichigo's mask*cough*) I don't know how, but I want to "see" a sword fight between Zoro from One Piece and Kirito from Sword Art Online. Why hasn't anyone done a Fate Stay Night-My Hero Academia crossover yet? Both the protagonists have a dream of becoming a hero, but it would very interesting to see the byplay of the different hero philosophies shown in each. There's the Path of Ashura(not sure if its really called that or if it was dramatic license) where one will "kill one to save ten, kill ten to save a hundred, kill a hundred to save a thousand." Then there's the "Superman" school of only killing when you have to, and the "Batman" school of never killing, ever, that My Hero Academia seems to follow with its heroes. And let's not forget of course, the Counter Guardian method, AKA tactically nuke a threat once all other options have failed. It would be quite an interesting interaction depending on who was sent, especially if it was more than one person. PS. I think it would work best if Fate characters were transported to the world of MHA, as opposed to the other way around. [I have finally found a good MHA-FSN crossover, it's called My Ideal Academia and while the writing is a little clunky at times, and there's not very much of it yet, it's still an entertaining read that seems to hold fairly true to both sets of source material.] Sword Art Online was about more than Akihiko Kayaba being able to fulfill his fantasy of Aincrad the floating castle, it was also a method for him to 'manufacture' Heroic Spirits in anticipation of some great disaster or alien invasion of some sort. As such, once the disaster starts, all of the most famous and infamous SAO survivors regain their stats in the real world, according to their 'legends.' E.G. Kazuto Kirigaya can use the skills of any of his avatars, because they all fall under 'Kirito's' legend. There should probably be other people that merge with other Heroic Spirits to some point, if only to make the plot make sense, however should a Heroic Spirit already be manifested (*Cough*Cough*Saber*Cough*) it can't be 'merged' with a human. Ideally, there would be major appearances from the favorite characters of both Fate Stay Night and Sword Art Online. In other words, Kirito, his friends (including Argo, she was definitely infamous enough for her 'legend' to be on par with a lesser hero or historical figure), Shirou Emiya, and all the main characters who lived through whatever route you decide to have sent through should all be, if not major, at least recurring minor characters that help in a concrete manner. At the tail-end of his fifth year, or at the beginning of his sixth, someone from the Daily Punish-I mean, Prophet- asks Harry how he plans to help in the fight against Voldemort in a live radio broadcast so all of Wizarding Britain can hear his inspiring words. Because he is still hurting from how everyone turned on him and Sirius' death, he tells the reporter that magical Britain, with a few notable exceptions, can kiss his ass. Voldemort, listening in, promptly either does a spit-take or starts to choke on something(not that it will kill him, he's just very surprised). Harry doesn't actually mean it, but he doesn't let anybody outside of those 'notable exceptions' know for a while. Those must include the other members of the Golden Trio, the Weasley family, Dumbledore, and most of the order. I want little-to-no weasley/ron/dumble-bashing, as they've made mistakes, but most of the bashing I've seen of these characters goes above and beyond what is reasonable. Any other bashing must be both tasteful and moderate. E.G. Voldemort is crazy, yes, but he is not a total moron. In Fate Stay Night, Rin summons Archer by unknowingly using her pendant as a catalyst, so far, same as canon. But what if, during the summoning, a thought ran through her head since she wishes that she could have some more control over who she summons. 'If only I could just MAKE the Hero I want.' That thought ends up as a potent catalyst to summon her world's Shirou from the future. As the hero she'd popularize later in life. Yes, this makes my head hurt too. Obviously, will follow close to canon at first, but change later on depending on which route they're living in. (Unlike EMIYA, this Archer's powers will be largely dependent on which route you choose to base the fic off of. On that note, I personally think that the Fate route, where Shirou acts the least impressive, would not be a good choice. Don't get me wrong, he's awesome in all three routes, but having him be a hero based off of the Fate route would leave him with a pretty weak repertoire as a Servant.) Having now finished the Fate and UBW routes, I still think that Fate has the weakest Shirou, with the weakest potential for a legend, but the ability to Trace Caliburn and use the skills engrained in it would at least make him a passable Servant. Instead of just scolding Shirou when he'd get himself beaten up by bullies, Kiritsugu decides to just get Shirou to think things through instead. Eventually, Kiritsugu turns to his old role model for inspiration. Batman. Shirou ends up learning to fight smarter not harder. Incidentally, he also learns to always have some sort of weaponry or tool on his person. Through some accident of the Kaleidoscope, either pre-war Shirou receives a Green Lantern ring in the Nasu-verse, or post-war Shirou and whatever love interests are applicable are sent to the DC Universe, where Shirou somehow receives a Green Lantern ring. Playing through Fate Stay Night, so far I've noticed that as badass as Shirou is in all three Routes, the only Servant that he ever faces alone at their full power is Gilgamesh. [Technically speaking it's unknown whether or not Goldie was at full power at the end of the UBW route, but given what Kirei had been doing for him since the Fourth War and his own personality, I find it highly unlikely that Gilgamesh would ever allow himself to considerably weaken from lack of prana.] And even then, the Holy Grail ends up pinning him while Archer deals the final blow. My idea is that this UBW Shirou kills Gil himself before the Holy Grail starts to interfere, thereby allowing Shirou to defeat the King of Heroes entirely on his own strength. {Well almost, but given that Rin's contract is similar to what a Servant would usually have, it's basically the same as a human defeating a Servant one on one} Given that it is an established fact that humans can't defeat Servants, and I don't think that Gilgamesh was ever defeated in his legend, this should have some sort of effect upon Shirou from the World trying to fix the paradoxes of HUMANS CANNOT DEFEAT SERVANTS-SERVANT GILGAMESH HAS BEEN KILLED BY HUMAN SHIROU EMIYA and GILGAMESH HAS NEVER SUFFERED DEFEAT ON EQUAL TERMS-GILGAMESH HAS BEEN KILLED ON EQUAL TERMS. Oh, and as for how the Fate route doesn't trigger the second paradox, Excalibur is the Sword of Promised Victory-its use, though costly, ensures victory by its very nature. In effect, to the World, Excalibur's legend overrides Gilgamesh's legend. Also helps that it's a bloody Last Phantasm. Sent to a random universe by a protective Rin, Post-HF True Emiya family (Sakura EARNED that, dammit!) and Rider live a simple life on the Alliance colony of Elysium in the year 2175. Shirou distinguishes himself as a hero during the Skyllian Blitz alongside both Sakura and Rider, mainly Shirou though. Eventually, Shirou and co. start working for the Alliance, Shirou as War Hero, and Sakura as Ruthless. Come ME1, Shirou becomes a Spectre and brings Sakura and Rider with him. It should be noted that I think the way this would be best would be for Shirou to be almost pure Paragon, save where Sakura's safety is concerned, and Sakura should be pure Renegade, with exceptions for the people she's close to, and she's usually willing to follow Shirou's lead, or at least wait until he's out of the room if she thinks it's important enough. I realize that Sakura seems to have completely disposed of her darker half in both HF endings, but then again, you only really see her interact with people that she's close to afterwards. That kind of darkness, doesn't just disappear. Now I'm not saying that she's gonna be a serial killer or anything, but let's face facts. Part of the reason things went so FUBAR in HF is because her darkness was close enough to Angra Mainyu that he could have been a no-catalyst servant for her. Let me repeat that, she shares a lot of similarities to the god of All the World's Evils. In other words valuing lives on a -5 to 5 scale, 5 being can't live without, 0 being indifference, and -5 being actively seeking their death, Shirou's values are: self=0, most people=2, Sakura=5, other close friends=3. Rider's are: self=3.5, most people=0, Sakura=4, Shirou=3, Rin=2. And Sakura's are: self=2, Shirou=5, most people=1, Rider=3, Rin=3. In all honesty, I think that should HF True Shirou die of anything other than old age before Sakura, she would be both willing, and able to use her darker side to start an Extinction Level Event. Basically she's right up there with Yuno Gasai on the ol' Yandere Scale, but with much, MUCH, more ability to cause lasting harm to the entire human race. This idea is not COMPLETELY original, as there is currently a ME/FSN crossover with a similar setting, but I'd love to see an X-COM/Nasu-verse crossover where a Terror Attack on London ends up revealing magecraft to the world. After which, the Moonlit World proceeds to join X-COM in informing the invading aliens as to just why you don't fuck with Earth. I actually thought of this after seeing that one of the alternate Shirous from The Lives and Times of Kaleido Shirou Schweinorg is an X-COM Operative, which led me to thinking of how effective UBW Shirou would be at turning alien invaders into mush. Having since then completed the HF Route(may you rot in hell forever Shinji Matou) thinking of what Rider or Sakura could and would do to a group of uppity mutons sends shivers down my spine(whether from terror or anticipation it's hard to tell). Instead of summoning Rider, Sakura's need for true family and a hidden security measure in the Holy Grail allow her to summon the Winchester family as Servant Hunter, replacing Assassin. This would mean, at a MINIMUM, Sam and Dean, preferably with at least Cass added to the roster. For the most part, so long as their stats and skills reflect the show appropriately, I'll leave them to the writer, but given both the basis of the show and [{(SPOILER ALERT)}] how much they die(plus the fact that they killed DEATH), they should probably have some sort of resurrection Noble Phantasm based on at least one Winchester still being alive, and another Noble Phantasm that allows them to deal with the other Servants like they would monsters. I.E. everyone has an Achilles Heel of some sort, Supernatural rules just make sure that attacking it is almost always a fatal blow. UBW Shirou somehow ends up time-traveling to ancient Japan, and proceeds to act like himself. Eventually people come to assume that Shirou is a God and start worshipping him, preferably without him noticing. If he does notice, very few people actually listen when he tells them that he's just a human, eventually even disclosing his 'birth' to some more trusted people in hopes of getting them to stop calling him a God. Naturally, nobody stops and he eventually ascends into divinity as a god of protection, cooking, and (duh) swords. I envision this as a Noragami crossover, but if there's another crossover, or even a non-crossover way to make this work, then by all means go for it. If there's still a HGW, then I look forward to Archer's reaction to finding out that one of the Shirous he tried to kill became a full-blown deity. A Psyren and Fate crossover with Shirou Emiya going to Psyren, becoming a Psychicer, and fighting the end of the world with Ageha and friends. I think it would work best after the Grail War, but I can see it working either way. Somebody, please, make this happen. To be honest, I'm kinda surprised that no one had made this yet, but here goes. In Kingdoms of Amalur, instead of the normal Fateless One, through a combination of circumstance and probably Zelretch havin' a laugh, Counter Guardian EMIYA ends up becoming the Fateless One. 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 I have a couple of questions, anybody who can answer them is free to message me if they want: Why are there so few good Ghost Hunt stories? It seems like a goldmine for anybody wanting to practice with the horror genre, but just about every Ghost Hunt fanfic I've read has crappy grammar and spelling, an uninteresting storyline, or stops just a chapter or two in. Why on Earth do people keep writing Ichigo and Grimmjow as a couple!? Putting aside their sexual preferences, these two actively try to kill each other every time they meet until Ichigo kicks Grimmjow's ass. What part of that says 'take me, I'm yours'? How is an Akatsuki Naruto story supposed to work? Unless Naruto is suicidally devoted to the Akatsuki's version of peace, why on Earth would he work with people who are actively hunting down every Jinchuuriki? Why does everybody and his brother seem to think that Ichigo is gay? Seriously look through the bleach fanfiction archive and about half of all of it is Ichigo paired with another guy, or guys. Is it because he doesn't have a perverted habit like Naruto's Sexy Jutsu or Hyoudou Issei's peeping? Just because he doesn't get a nosebleed and drool when he happens to see a naked woman doesn't mean that he doesn't like what he sees. You know, the Fate-crossover section is full to bursting, but I've noticed that generally each crossover section tends to pick a 'style' of crossover and stick with it, as far as how the crossover happens at least. Basically I'm asking why everyone in a given group tends to pick either 'Zelretch' or 'Crossover Servant' and stick together on which one they pick. To be honest, I only noticed this after thinking of a Fate/Mass Effect Crossover and thinking of the fact that while their are only a small handful of said crossovers, almost all of them were based in the ME-verse with Nasu-verse bolted on for only a few characters. Now, it's possible that I'm simply remembering wrong, but that spread just plain seems odd to me. How in the bloody f%$*ing hell is Shinji Matou as popular as he is? [{(SPOILER ALERT)}] His character gets worse in every subsequent Route. In Fate and UBW he attempts to have his classmates digested alive. In UBW, he's a party to Ilya's death and doesn't even give Gilgamesh a 'what the hell, man?!' And Heaven's Feel reveals just what EXACTLY he's been doing to Sakura since her age was in the single-digits. Hell, I even like ZOUKEN more than him, because he at least had some damn backbone. Not to mention Zouken's original reason for seeking immortality is surprisingly pure. Now, don't get me wrong, Zouken's mere existence should still be considered a crime against humanity, but in comparison to Shinji, he's actually got the balls to actually FIGHT in the Grail War instead of just hiding behind his Servant. I don't remember Shinji having so much as a single redeeming quality in the entirety of FSN. It's a pretty bad sign when the insane worm vampire is a more likable character than the last true Matou. Having just finished reading Genetics by JinnySkeans, I thought I'd ask if anybody knows if there are any Naruto fanfiction where some guy goes to meet his girlfriend's parents only to realize that her 'slightly' overprotective father is either Naruto Uzumaki or Sasuke Uchiha. You know, the two guys who had the power to kick a literal deity's ass back when they were only in their late teens. What's with all the 'hero is betrayed by closest friends' stories? I'll admit that it might make sense in certain cases, but there are WAY more betrayal fanfics than untrustworthy friends in original fiction. Some of these heroes pretty much rely on the power of friendship for pete's sake! For instance, I don't remember the name of the fic, but once, while I was browsing the Katekyo Hitman Reborn fanfic archives, I found a fanfic summary where it said that Tsuna's friends turned their backs on him after he killed someone. Now I'll admit to not reading the fic, but the series revolves around Tsuna becoming a MAFIA boss. I mean good god, it's not like his friends have the cleanest of hands either! Mukuro is a confirmed murderer, Hibari probably isn't one, but he's damn close, and it would have to be a bloody miracle for Gokudera to have never killed anyone by throwing around fracking DYNAMITE! Sorry, lost my cool there for a second. Still, why does everyone seem to assume that the hero's friends have been measuring his back for a knife since they met him? 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 The Top 100 Things I'd Do 1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." 8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. 10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. 12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. 15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. 18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. 19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father. 20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. 21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set. 22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. 23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks. 24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) 25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot. 26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. 27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. 28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. 29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. 30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. 31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. 32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. 33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. 34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. 36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. 37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. 38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. 39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. 40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. 41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. 42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. 43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. 44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. 45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. 46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor. 47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature. 48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. 49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper. 50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks. 51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position. 52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. 53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her. 54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. 55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. 56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. 57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual. 58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner. 59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. 60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords. 61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them. 62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight. 63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals. 64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage. 65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment. 66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system. 67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. 68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again. 69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild. 70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner. 71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. 72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them. 73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win. 74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk. 75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. 76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.) 77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer. 78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical." 79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins. 80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. 81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw. 82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. 83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. 84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. 85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button." 86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. 87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. 88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. 89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him. 90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door. 91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important. 92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.) 93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first. 94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value. 95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look. 96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa. 97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled. 98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution. 99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. 100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached. 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 Top Ten Anime Scenes (limit one entry per anime)[unfinished: 01. Bleach: Ichigo vs. Aizen Final Battle 02. Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet: from confirmation of ensign Ledo's will to beginning of epilogue sequence. 03. Sword Art Online: Kirito vs. Gleam Eyes 04. Black Lagoon: Episode 2; PT Boat vs. Gunship Duel 05. Nobunagun: Episode 2 Opening Scene "I am Nobunaga!" 06. NA 07. NA 08. NA 09. NA 10. NA 6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 Treatise on the Impossibility of Permanent Seals AKA Why the Hell Somebody Would Make a Seal-Breaking Item That Could Lead to the Apocalypse by DracoArtemisLeopin It is a well-known fact that in many books, TV shows, anime, and manga, that if there is a singular item that can lead to the release of an ultimate evil or world-destroying event, it will almost inevitably end up in the hands of someone stupid or crazy enough to use it. This brings up the question of why, exactly, did such an item need to be created in the first place. It comes down to this. It is impossible to create a seal that will last forever. There are multiple forces that contribute to this fact, not the least of which is usually what needed to be sealed in the first place. There's also idiots who try to break or dispel the seal, degradation from the passage of time, and, most importantly, lack of the energy required to ensure a permanent seal. Even in the most powerful of heroes,( who usually don't have the materials or skills necessary for a sealing attempt anyway) the amount of energy that could be used in the process of a sealing, even accounting for a sacrificial seal, is not enough to hold whatever evil that they are facing at bay forever. Eventually, the seal will weaken enough for the tenant to attempt an escape or for it to just fall apart from energy deficiency. So, instead of trying to make a seal that will last for a long time, instead you build it to break only under very specific circumstances. Such as when the stars align in a certain configuration, or when a very specific set of highly unlikely conditions happen in a certain order at a precise time. In that way, the seal can conserve energy by not being on ALL the time, like an electric fence hooked up to a battery. In this way, a seal can last a great deal longer than it would have otherwise, meaning, assuming that the blasted thing isn't forgotten about, that whoever will have to deal with it next will have a great deal longer to prepare for whatever abomination is hidden behind the seal. Hence, world destroying artifacts that make people wonder if the ancients WANTED the world to end. Please keep in mind that everything that I've stated here is pure conjecture based on what I've pondered about various seals in various forms of media. I have not had the benefit of an education in magical theory or experimented with various seals to determine the truth of my claims. In other words, I am making an incredibly well-worded guess. Please take everything that I've said here with a grain of salt and remember that as of the time of this posting, humanity has only taken to magic in fiction, and as such, this is all for fun. 444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 General Guidelines for which franchises are better suited for fanfiction/crossovers I've noticed something over my years of frequenting this site, and that is that certain stories just don't mesh well with fanfiction. For instance, I think I have yet to find a long-running fanfic for the Fullmetal Alchemist series, crossover or non, that I enjoyed reading unless it was basically a series of oneshots that could have happened without greatly affecting the original plot of either of the shows. I guess that part of the problem is that both of the FMA anime don't really have any of the openings that many other franchises offer without completely ruining the parent series. So I decided to write up a little list of indicators to help delineate which stories are more conducive to fanfiction than others. 1. Plotholes/contrivances; Using FMA as an example again, if its plot were a rope, it would be one of the most well braided ropes in the world. There is just about nothing hanging loose or forgotten about and woven around, whereas most other stories are less tightly done. Whether from plotholes or from parts of the plot where the only reasonable way to continue is to make someone move for no other reason than the plot itself, as opposed to the plot seemlessly being woven from the organic movements of the characters. To be fair, this doesn't even have to be something that people even regard as bad. One of the funnier fanfics I've read was in regards to the general lack of common sense in Harry Potter's Wizarding World. 2. Things that are unknown; Now this may seem like a rehash of the previous point but there is, in fact, a difference. A plot hole is, for instance, where the fuck did Kaguya come from at the end of the Naruto series [no, I'm not bitter, shut up] whereas something that's unknown would be Shirou Emiya's birth parents from Fate Stay Night. The first is a plot hole because it came right the fuck out of nowhere with no build-up or explanation to usurp the final boss fight, whereas the second is just inconsequential to the story that was originally told. Many a writer has taken such things and run with it, to bring in changes or additions to the parent story that feel at least semi-reasonable. 3. Shit writing; This may, again, seem like me repeating myself, but the basis of this particular point is 'well, if you think I'm so shit at this, you give it a shot.' Taking a series that's bad in the first place, or better yet USED to be good and then went down the tubes-see RWBY- is a great way for aspiring writers to take something that they saw potential in, and do their best to make it better than whoever is actually in charge of the franchise in question. Take note however that if you're too full of yourself, or god forbid, WORSE than the current creator this can effectively end up imploding in your face. 4. Canon; Now this might seem kinda off-kilter, since the basis of fanfiction is that we take canon and twist it into balloon animals, but there ARE some stories that seem to have fanfiction and crossovers built right into their DNA. A great example is Familiar of Zero. The familiar summoning is basically carte blanche to replace Saitou with just about anybody or anyTHING else. Hell, I remember reading one where she summoned Giratina, and it made sense because whether or not the original author intended it, the familiar summoning ritual is basically a fanfiction justification built into the plot itself. 5. Blatant audience-insert characters; Now this one's just obvious, if a character is only there so the audience can project themselves onto his thick-as-lead ass, then why not insert someone a helluva lot more interesting? It doesn't even have to be a crossover, just give the protagonist SOMETHING to differentiate him from some random civilian, as well as a good amount of the personality and character that the original writers conveniently left out, and away we go! Now I find it fair to warn people that I have found very VERY few 'mega-crossovers' that don't end up reading like a train wreck. Even stories that are IN THEMSELVES already a crossover of sorts[Kingdom Hearts] seldom manage to add more than a couple of disparate fandoms before collapsing under its own weight. Unless there's some sort of cut-off point or joint rule system to bind them together, it just won't work. You can't put Marvel, Percy Jackson, and Harry Potter into a blender and just expect it to work out because the rules are blatantly different for each universe. And that's not even counting the protagonists! You can get away with throwing out or replacing some protaganists, but the more popular the series you're combining are, the less likely your audience is likely to tolerate having the main character binned, or side-lined, or overshadowed. On that note, here's a list of crossovers that I've never been able to see play well together FateXHarry Potter[there was one, but it had to make Harry be a personification of his own books; think Nursery Rhyme from Fate Extra] FMAXjust about anything[just no room for any other characters] PokemonXjust about anything[it's the fact that the Pokemon fight;makes most other protagonists superfluous] YugiohXjust about anything[again the problem is the combat type] BleachXHarry Potter[geography and combat type, or perhaps I should say style in this case, since it'd basically be wizards vs. magic-resistant samurai] NarutoXFate[there's some potential, but the problem is that there's no way to do it without making the VN's main character all but secondary] NarutoXCampione[admittedly haven't looked much for this, but it runs into the problem that being a Campione would be either the last step to complete and total immortality, or completely inconsequential for the characters of Naruto] NarutoXHarry Potter[combat style again] NarutoXSword Art Online[this one's just a case of there's no way to get them together without it seeming contrived as hell] Katekyo Hitman RebornXjust about anything[you know this one's a bit of an odd duck, I've got one or two crossovers that I'll look over every now and then, but nothing that really sticks out like some of the fanfic greats like Gabriel Blessing's works or Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. I suppose the problem is probably that they managed to turn a gag comic into an epic Shounen adventure while wasting almost none of the gag comic elements, as such there's a fuckload that only makes sense when it applies ONLY to KHR, and it's all so carefully stacked that just about nobody can touch it without being crushed by all the wacky random bullshit.] InuyashaXjust about anything[this is another one that I haven't checked on much, but the fact remains that its dual setting kinda preclude anything else from getting involved without making things more complicated than they're worth.] Kingdom HeartsXjust about anything[to clarify, I have read a couple of good KH crossover stories, the problem is, that that's just it, it's maybe 3 out of the probably over a hundred that I checked out. If I had to guess WHY KH doesn't take to crossovers well, it'd probably be because A) just about every one of 'em's contrived some way for the outside characters to get a keyblade from effing nowhere, and B) Kingdom Hearts is already toeing the mega-crossover line as a crossover between just about every major Disney franchise, the suspension of disbelief is already stretched to its limit.] 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 On the technology of the Naruto universe One thing that's always been rather interesting about the world of Naruto is its mixed technology level. On the one hand, they still use messenger birds and horse-drawn carriages, on the other, Kabuto CLEARLY has a computer when he checks on Kimimaro, and a somewhat modern one as well. Now is this a plothole? Kinda, but if your suspension of disbelief was broken by that, then where the hell were you when Naruto summoned a 30 story toad to fight a giant sand tanuki? But on the possible in-universe reason WHY they have such an inconsistant level of technology, my personal theory is that a good portion of the modern inventions, such as cars and guns, simply weren't good enough at their earliest tech levels. Now before someone tries to point out that a minigun or a tank would be incredible assets for any ninja village, let me reiterate, I'm looking at the EARLIEST forms of those technologies. The earliest guns were single-shot, took forever to reload, not nearly as accurate as a ninja's kunai-throwing skills, and, oh yeah, bloody expensive. Any form of modern vehicle has the same problem: in their earliest form, they need a limited, volatile resource, they're slower than shinobi, noisy as hell, give off a scent that can be smelled for DAYS afterwards, and are also bloody expensive. This is a world that has been embroiled in nigh-constant ninja warfare, and as such, the only people who'd have both the money and reason to employ even a single early gun or automobile are shinobi and landed nobility. Shinobi are more effective without these things, and for the landed nobility, it's both cheaper and more effective to hire a shinobi squad. 222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 When is Going Dark, Going too Far. You know, I've noticed that quite a few of the fanfiction that aren't just 'OMG IM IN MA FAVRIT SHO IM GAD AND EVRY1S HRNY 4 ME NOW' on this site tend to go for the grimdark feel. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially if the source material is that type of work, but at the same time, I do grow rather tired of reading stories that start interesting but get too busy crapping on the hero to, well, get on with the story. Don't get me wrong, the protagonist NEEDS to suffer some sort of misfortune or failure for there to be any worth to their tale, yet far too many promising fanfics take it too far. I get it, you're trying to show a more mature take on a 'childish' franchise, or are attempting a tone that's deliberately at odds with the original work, but damn it, life is not all gory murders and abject failure. You want a good role model for a 'grimdark' take on a lighter series? Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality is not necessarily grimdark, but it takes a lot of the darker subject matter found in the books and actually does something interesting with it. And yet I would still find myself laughing or enjoying a tender moment quite often. Want a more mainstream example? The Nasu-verse is NOTORIOUSLY unforgiving and lethal, but Fate still takes the time to show tender moments and genuine humor regularly without infringing on the more serious moments. And this sort of thing just feels that much worse if you're darkening the universe of one of the lighter works of media. I remember reading one Pokemon fanfiction that was going for a 'grittier' take on the Pokemon world, it was fairly well written mechanically, had an interesting story, and did some excellent world building which was kept mostly to the background, but there were two 'scenes' that broke my will to continue reading. One had a character mind controlled into killing everyone she loved in horrific ways, and I was tempted to stop there, but I was already fairly far in and admittedly, the cruelty seemed to serve a purpose. The second 'scene' had an entire family murdered. Not just in the background, or a news story important to a plot arc, no, a Kirei Kotomine rip-off without any of the original's charm had tricked a friendly Muk into giving deadly hugs to the various family members and bragged about it. One pair of characters had even been killed directly after reconciling with each other after being estranged for YEARS, and the Muk ended up committing suicide. Now I mean no disrespect to the author or readers of this story, but what the fu@#ing HELL!? I guess that it was probably story significant, but there is only so much I can take, especially when the high points do not come even CLOSE to the intensity of the low points. If you enjoy darker stories, great, good for you, despite what you might think after reading my mini-rant, I don't really mind darker stories so much, in fact they can be a breath of fresh air, or bring some overlooked detail to light. But for Pete's sake people, these things are supposed to be entertainment for both reader and writer! You can go as dark as you want, but you need to take a breath every now and then. Plus, the hard hits hit harder if the protagonist isn't getting pummeled by life 100% of the time. Look, I'm sorry if I flew off the handle a bit, but I've been burned many a time by a fanfic that wrapped an interesting premise in enough darkness to drown the Sun. I'm just tired of all the crapsack worlds. 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 On the Bashing of Certain Characters in Fanfiction (Also known as 'Lighten up, people!'): I've noticed that many of the stories on this site love to bash certain main characters, and it's not limited to certain animes or even characters that were designed to be extra hatable. Now, for the most part, I prefer to just let people write what they will and read what I like in the clutter, but when I came across a fic bashing Nana Sawada {Katekyo Hitman Reborn} of all people, I just felt that I had to say something. So now, in no particular order, here is what I say on behalf of everyone that I have seen bashed that I feel don't deserve it, or at least not as much as they get. Nana Sawada {Katekyo Hitman Reborn}: In the manga, [haven't watched the anime, but I assume what I say still applies] the worst she does to her son is to have no faith that he will succeed in life and call him a loser. Now, while I do think that it's a little harsh for Tsuna's mother to think such a thing, let's face facts; Tsunayoshi Sawada was a total loser at the beginning of KHR. In fact, I don't think that I'd be alone in saying that it's the main reason he makes such an awesome protagonist as the series progresses. It's also worth noting, that even though she has no hope for his future, she is ALWAYS a caring mother. Sasuke Uchiha {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: I'll be honest, Sasuke does deserve SOME bashing. To put it bluntly, he's a prick for just about the whole series, and I quite frankly find what he does after Itachi's death to be him throwing, for lack of a better term, a temper tantrum. However, I also think that there are quite a few authors that take it too far. He has not been plotting to betray the village since the Uchiha Massacre, he's not so conceited as to think that the mere mention of the name Uchiha is a ticket to an instant victory, he trains hard, he is not a coward, he doesn't whine to the council every time he gets a scratch... I think everyone sees where I'm going here? Sasuke is obsessed with revenge, haughty, overly somber, and acts like he took lessons on etiquette from a grizzly bear on crack, but he does care about his teammates, is often able to back up his claims of superiority, and was loyal to the leaf until certain things happened to warp his mind. Orochimaru and Itachi is all that I'm saying, just in case one of the people reading this hasn't read or watched to those points. Sakura Haruno {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: Okay, I gotta say that Sakura definitely didn't deserve her bashings. Yes, she does berate and hit Naruto in the first series, a lot. But it happens less and less as time goes on, and she's also a 12-13 year old girl. Just about all of them act like that, so loosen up, nobody's perfect. And in regards to her actions towards Naruto; yes, he's a great guy, AFTER he matures a bit thoughout the series. In the earliest parts of the story, he's a loudmouth, braggart, annoying 12-13 year old kid. Granted, his hidden depths, conviction, and isolation earn him enough pity and respect to last until some of his more admirable qualities rise to the surface, but keep in mind that the first impression that Sakura gives is in response to a Naruto that just wouldn't take 'no' for an answer for years. She never had a chance to get to know his better qualities because he wouldn't leave her alone to get over her annoyance at him. But that's just in the original series. In Shippuden, she often catches flak for not being useful past the Kazekage Retrieval arc, and even then she doesn't get much credit because she had help. In response, let me say this: she and an old retired puppeteer took on an S-Ranked, as in kage-strength, poison-using, almost immortal Missing Ninja at the peak of his strength in his territory while on no sleep with only three antidotes, and both of them lived. I would like to see Naruto or Sasuke do better. Naruto would charge in and get poisoned, and while it may not kill him due to the fox, he wouldn't have won the fight at his current level. Sasuke would have done better than Naruto, maybe even killed Sasori, but I wager that he would succumb to poison shortly after the battle. With all the puppets that Sasori had, avoiding getting hit was nearly impossible. As for Sakura's usefulness in the later chapters, she's a medic, for pete's sake. She's the one patching everyone up once the battle is over. Not as exciting as Sage Mode or Mangekyou Sharingan, but infinitely more useful in the long term. (P.S. for those of you who still aren't convinced, she's the only member of squad 7, not counting Kakashi or Yamato of course, who's above genin-rank before the end of the series.) Hiruzen Sarutobi AKA 3rd Hokage {Naruto}: Okay, so I will admit that there were several things that he could have done better during his second tenure as Hokage, Academy teacher vetting for instance, but he did the best that he could. Keep in mind that he was an old man who was supposed to have been retired. Just going by the age of the Sannin, he would have been at least in his late sixties, probably in his seventies or eighties. And looking at Suna's jinchuuriki, I think he did a pretty good job with Naruto. Minato Namikaze AKA 4th Hokage {Naruto Shippuden}: Dude, what the hell? Do you honestly think that Naruto would have been better off, at best, on the run with his father from just about every ninja in the Elemental Nations? Minato made the best of a bad situation and chose, rather than let the village burn, to seal the Kyuubi into the only person capable of containing it safely. It was the best decision both as a Hokage and a father. Kakashi Hatake {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: Yes, because men who started killing people before a modern child would be out of elementary school are always excellent role models. Please excuse me while I go throw flaming chainsaws at a gasoline tanker. Kakashi isn't right in the head. He became a Chunin at 9(I think?) in a time of war. There is no possible way that didn't mess with his head. Quite frankly, the idea of Kakashi adopting Naruto seems nice, but I think that if it had actually happened, Naruto would have been nearly as crazy as Gaara. Not in the same way, but still, mental illness and the powers of a twenty-story demon are never a good mix. Hinata Hyuuga {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: Really? You're going to go after one of the sweetest girls in all of anime and manga? I realize that she is... not much of an asset in battle, at least in the early series. But later on, she actually saves Naruto, and that's only counting what's directly seen in both manga and anime. While her "stalking" of Naruto is a common cliche, and most people never take it beyond a bit of comic relief, there are some who seem to hate her with a burning passion for... reasons. The only reason I can think of that ANYBODY would dislike her would be that she interferes in their favorite pairing. Disregarding the fact that NaruHina is now canon, it's such a petty reason to hate such a sweet girl that I can only say that I pity her bashers for being unable to see past their own 'gimme what I want or I'll hurt you' mentality. Please note that what I refer to as bashing does not count any renditions of her that are hateful and evil to the point where it's obvious that canon is being burned to fuel the flames of a (hopefully) good story. Plus most of those have an OOC warning, so at the very least they acknowledge the fact that they are basically replacing the character with a total bitch for plot reasons. The entire civilian population of the Hidden Leaf Village {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: Before I continue, I should note that how they treated Naruto is in no way right. I can understand it, to a point, but the fact remains that they basically isolated a small child for something that he had no control over. Having said that, I'll also note that apparently many fanfiction writers consider the majority of the Hidden Leaf's inhabitants to be massive flaming retards. Let me explain my reasoning. There are a number of cliche's attached to Naruto fanfiction, many of which involve how the village as a whole treats everyone's favorite Jinchuuriki. Firstly, the Civilian Council which might as well be called the Anti-Naruto Coalition, which does everything short of outright assassination attempts to take down Naruto in any way possible. For the record, I highly doubt that there IS a Civilian Council in Konoha or any other ninja village, for one simple reason. Hidden Villages should not be considered actual villages with a military attachment, but a military outpost with a civilian attachment for convenience. Beyond that, however, there's the facts that: A. Sarutobi would have had the lot of them executed for attempting to interfere in ninja business. B. any influence that a 'Civilian Council' would have, would by definition, be limited to only Civilians, therefore taking Naruto out of their reach as soon as he entered the Shinobi Academy. And C. it's one thing to dislike someone, it's another entirely to dedicate your life to screwing them over, in which case, they would likely never have been able to conceal their hate long enough to attain their positions without Sarutobi wising up to what they had planned for his almost-adoptive grandson. The next cliche is the 'Angry Mob almost kills Naruto' situation, leading to the slightly ridiculous 'Annual Naruto Hunt' cliche. To start with, the first time an angry mob attempted to so much as cut Naruto's hair without his permission, they'd have ANBU on them faster than you can say Jutsu. Even assuming that the villagers were dumb enough to try it once, the swift and most likely brutal punishment from ANBU and any other ninja nearby with a lick of sense and/or sealing knowledge would almost certainly prevent it from ever happening again. And don't even try to say that there is no evidence that ANBU watches Naruto. I know that there isn't, but the Third Hokage would have to be massively incompetent NOT to have Naruto watched, even though he had no reason to want to turn Naruto into a WMD or suspect that Naruto would turn traitor. The fact is, once Naruto dies, or even just reaches near-death, it is VERY probable that an angry Nine-tailed Fox would show up either immediately or, at most, ten years after to reduce the Hidden Leaf to nothing more than a massive hole in the ground. But at the end of it all, it all comes down to one thing. If you live in a ninja village, you know not to screw with anything ninja related unless you are paid very, very well, and have extensive experience with it. In a world where the police force used to have being able to breathe out a massive fireball as standard, I find it hard to believe that many people would be stupid enough to mess with ninja beyond a few hateful glares and unsavory rumors, and even that's pushing it. ANBU {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: ANBU are, admittedly, often used as the "redshirts" of Naruto. However, it should be noted that while being ANBU decreases one's life expectancy to about five minutes from now, if you're lucky, that's because they have the most dangerous job in the village. They're easy to kill off because they're all but faceless, therefore having little emotional impact when they die to illustrate how powerful the enemy is, but one shouldn't forget that they are effectively the 'Special Forces' of ninja. In other words, they don't die more because they're cannon fodder, they die more because they are almost always at the most dangerous spot on the battlefield. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore {Harry Potter series}: Many people see Dumbles here (I am NOT typing the whole damn thing again) as Harry's puppetmaster from birth. True, it was his decision which allowed Harry to enter the loving and tender care (*Cough*Cough*Bullshit*Cough*) of the Dursleys, and the fact that he put Dark Lord bait in a school doesn't really paint him in a positive light, but you have to remember that as omnipotent and omniscient as he seems, the fact remains that he is a very old man. He can make mistakes. In fact, let's take a look at his actions book by book: Book1: He leaves Harry with the Dursley's, a family which treats him as a slave for years afterwards. He may or may not know about how they view magic, but he likely thought that the fact that they were family would smooth over everything else, and before you point out the fact that most people wouldn't assume that, keep in mind that he's pushing close to two-hundred years in age. I'm not pointing that out because I think it means that he doesn't see sense, but to point out that he likely grew up in an age where people valued family more than they do in modern times. Next, the fact that he left Harry on the doorstep with a letter instead of handing him off responsibly. Admittedly, he dropped the ball on that one, but I have no idea how the blood protections worked, so maybe he couldn't stay to explain in person. Next, he never checked up on Harry to see how he was. Again, it would be responsible, but, also again, it might go against the wards, so that one's a tossup too. After that is sending Hagrid to fetch him when the letters didn't get responded to. OK, I have to admit that that right there was a blatantly poor choice, but Hagrid is very friendly, and was a good friend of the Potters, so it would make a bit more sense if he wasn't, you know, Hagrid. Then we get to the stone debacle, and it's implied early in the story that Albus expects Harry to come across the Mirror of Erised again. Now, given that he uses it as the final protection for the stone, many people take it as a sign that he intended for Harry to come after it all along, but it could easily be that he just wanted Harry to become a bit more resistant to objects similar in nature. It's never a good idea to let yourself become addicted to ancient magical artifacts. Then there's the fact that he hid the stone in a school and told everyone where it was (behind something a single alohamora could unlock) after having the teachers set up traps that could be navigated by a trio of first year students. To be honest, I personally think that he had them set those traps to lure in Voldemort and kept the real stone in his pocket. As for the ease of the traps, keep in mind that Harry is the youngest seeker in a century, Ron is almost Grandmaster level in Wizard's Chess, and Hermione is probably the smartest witch that Hogwarts has seen since Rowena Ravenclaw. They were uniquely suited to taking on the challenges presented by the Stone's protections and Dumbledore showed up scant minutes after Harry dusted Quirrel, so it's not like he was off on vacation while all this was happening anyway. Oh, and as for hiring Quirrel, there is that old phrase of 'Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.' As for not telling Harry the prophecy then, would YOU want to be the one to tell an eleven-year old kid that they're destined to face off with someone people are still afraid to say the name of? Book2: 'He didn't do anything to stop the attacks.' Oh, well I suppose he should have just spoken Parseltongue to-WAIT A MINUTE! HE'S NOT A PARSELMOUTH! So he couldn't do anything save try everything in his power to keep the attacks from going lethal, which admittedly wasn't much, and try to keep anyone from making the problem worse off-screen. This is once more a situation where Harry is uniquely suited to solving the problem where most people would be stopped at the start line. Oh, and as for hiring Lockhart? SOMEBODY had to fill the position, and given the fact that he has to refill the post every year, he likely needed what amounts to a celebrity endorsement for the position before people would start applying again. Book3: The dementors in Hogwarts were NOT Dumbledore's idea. That idiocy is courtesy of the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge. Really can't find anything else that could possibly be his fault that year. Book4: At this point I must stress that I am, for the most part, following the books, so Dumbledore asked Harry if he entered his name into the Goblet of Fire in his usual voice of calm acceptance instead of shaking Harry like a madman and yelling. After that, there was nothing he could do, seeing as Harry was entered into a magical contract, and let me just go ahead and say that it is entirely likely that the organizers considered if he would actually have to compete DESPITE the fact that he didn't enter himself and they said that he did. Taking into account that Crouch Jr. had access to Harry for every DADA class, he could have easily gotten a sample of harry's magic to enter the tournament with. Other than that, the only things that somebody MIGHT be able to blame him for would be the fact that he allowed the Triwizard Tournament to be held at Hogwarts in the first place, and that he didn't help Harry cheat. For the first one, he took what he believed to be reasonable precautions to prevent unqualified competitors from competing-the Age Line- and everyone was told that death was a possibility, so only those who were willing and able to take that risk were SUPPOSED to be at risk. As for helping Harry cheat, if he helped Harry and not Cedric, that would be blatant favoritism, and if he helped both and got caught, he had a lot more to lose than Karkaroff or Madame Maxine did. If he got caught cheating, then it is entirely possible that he'd lose the other positions that he holds, which he probably had to work long and hard for. Oh wait, missed a couple; Let's see, Moody not being Moody, don't have an excuse for that one, but again-old man; allowing a dementor to Kiss Crouch Jr., shock that it was happening would be enough time for the Kiss to be administered. I think I got it all. Anyway, on to Book 5! He didn't make Harry a Prefect. Personally, I thought that Harry was just being whiny over the fact that he didn't get it. Come on, he LITERALLY grouses about the fact that he didn't get the position even though he was, and I quote, "Dumbledore's favorite." After that, with the exception of Harry's trial after the dementor attack, he is conspicuously absent from Harry's life until Umbridge comes to him to get Harry expelled. There is likely a very good reason for that, like, oh I don't know, the Ministry doing everything it can to have both Harry and Dumbledore discredited. And NO ONE wanted Umbridge, so don't even try to lay that one at his feet. Wow, this has gotten long. Books 6&7: I'm doing both of these at the same time for a very good reason which anyone who has read book 6 can tell you, but Dumbledore leaves everything in Harry's hands, not because he's been manipulating him, but because he's the one that he trusts the most to make sure that the job gets done and gets done right. Finally, as for why Dumbledore kept Harry at the Dursleys', even after harry started complaining about his treatment. He didn't start to seriously bemoan the Dursley's in school for quite some time, and by that point, many would assume that he didn't want to go back because he was either rebelling, or that he just didn't want to stop using magic. Whew, that was long, but my point stands. Dumbledore was not a machiavellian puppetmaster at the strings of Harry's life. He was just an powerful old wizard that wanted what was the best for as many people as possible. Almost the entire Weasley clan {Harry Potter series}: It really surprised me that so many people thought so badly of such a nice family. Ron has often been a jealous git, Ginny was a fangirl, and Molly can be controlling sometimes, but you know what else is true? Ron can just as often have the heart of a lion, Ginny outgrew her hero worship, and Molly is the mother/Pseudo-mother for many of the major characters. I can sort of get where someone could get onto bashing Ron, but they often ignore or outright remove the parts that make him a good friend for Harry. He's a jealous, lazy slob a lot of the time, but when it comes down to brass tacks, he'll always have Harry's back. Molly is the mother of seven children. SEVEN! So when when she borderline adopts Harry, she treats him like an eighth child. Meaning that, given her experience with all the other members of her family, she's going to assume that she knows best and THAT is THAT! She's not trying to dictate his life or get him married off to her daughter for the Potter fortune any more than your own mother would do to you. As for Ginny, I'll be honest here, there really isn't that much supporting her character one way or another throughout the series, so why would you assume that he only chooses her in the end because of a love potion or some other such nonsense. Personally, it's enough for me that Harry even marries and has kids with her in the end. If he's in love with her, then she has to have several outstanding qualities that attracted him to her. There's really no reason to hate on her unless you're just trying to punish her for the ending that Rowling wrote. Naruto's orange jumpsuit (both of them) {Naruto; Naruto Shippuden}: Okay, I realize that this isn't really a character, or even bashed the same way that the others on this list get pretty much crucified, but I do gotta say that it gets a bit too much hate for what it is. When you're doing a more serious, grittier ninja world, I get it, the odds of a serious, non-anime ninja wearing orange, on purpose, are pretty much slim to none, and I realize that its ability to blend into the environment is equivalent to trying to hide a T-Rex in a public library, but do you have to make such a point of making EVERYONE point it out? A few even get Naruto himself in on the 'there's no way in hell I'd ever wear that willingly' train to point out how unfeasible it is for ninja work. And you know, admittedly, you're right. You are just objectively right. Naruto's jumpsuits, although admittedly his Shippuden jumpsuit's less blatantly conspicuous, are, unless you're infiltrating a circus or a house with orange and blue/black wallpaper, worth jack-sh*t for stealth. But you've missed the point. Naruto's jumpsuits aren't designed to be "appropriate and effective ninja gear," they're made to be his trademark, and, although not many people realize this, a mark of his skill DESPITE his handicaps. He painted the Hokage monument in broad daylight wearing an orange and blue jumpsuit while only an academy student, the dead-last of his class no less, and he almost got away with it. Now, he probably WAS spotted a few times by ANBU, or by other ninja that just couldn't muster up the motivation to stop him, but given his reputation, what he was wearing, his supposed skill level, and the people who DID care to stop him (who, if I'm remembering the first episode correctly, had to at least be Chunin), it is DAMN impressive that Iruka was the only one who could catch him. Hey, if you want to change his look up, that's fine, but keep in mind what the original outfit represents before you decry it for being impractical. The hero's closest friends and family{every other bloody fanfic}: Let me just say in advance that I don't think I've read a single 'hero is betrayed by all of his closest friends and family' fic. What's more, I freely admit that this isn't really bashing, and that I have no intent of reading betrayal fics. I'm sure that there are at least a few that are well-written and have interesting plots that I would probably enjoy reading, and, for the most part, I try to keep an open mind for any potentially interesting story I find, but, much like slash or yaoi, those are just a hard NO for me. It's entirely possible that my own preconceptions are keeping me from enjoying truly excellent stories, and I accept that. Now, with that said, why. in the hell. are there so MANY BETRAYAL/ABANDONMENT FICS!!?!?? I could understand if it was a niche market of sorts, sort of like anime was when it first started out, but good god man, I just tried to get through a search for Ash-centric pokemon fanfics and at times there seemed to be entire, bloody, PAGES of nothing but Ash's friends, family, pokemon, and even Pikachu himself giving the world's most famous pokemon trainer the bird and saying "fu#$ our years of love and friendship, let's leave him for dead." Don't get me wrong, I tried, I tried SO FU$KING HARD to just skim over it and find something that I would find worth reading in the gaps between, but I grew up with these characters dammit! There are only so many BS friends betraying him out of nowhere summaries that I can stomach before I, no joke, LITERALLY JUST SAY FU$K IT AND DO SOMETHING ELSE! At LEAST two of them had Pikachu leaving Ash for DEAD to that fu#king Spearow flock. PIKACHU LEAVING ASH KETCHUM FOR DEAD! And while, yes, it was Pokemon fanfic writers insistence that Ash be darker, angrier, angstier, and more of a Twilight stand-in(YEAH I SAID IT) that finally set me off on this rant, this pot's been boiling up for a couple of years now. Ichigo's friends hate him for turning Hollow; why? they followed him into battle time and again against hopeless odds, and they don't say jack-sh*t! Naruto's parents neglect him for the sister that he now has who holds the Kyuubi instead of him; BULLSH*T! I CALLED BULLSHIT ON THAT BACK BEFORE I READ/ WATCHED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE SHIPPUDEN STORYLINE. There is no way that the man who sacrificed his life to seal away the Kyuubi to save his village would neglect one of his children just because they weren't 'special.' Harry Potter is neglected because his twin brother is the real BWL,; Really, the woman who's love for her child was so strong it reflected the, might I remind you unblockable, Killing Curse is going to Dursley one of her kids. I'm pretty sure that she'd hex someone for even THINKING that she'd neglect one of her kids. Tsunayoshi Sawada's friends abandon him because he killed someone.;...are You FU#KING KIDDING ME?! How damn hypocritical do you think the Guardians are!??! At least two are confirmed killers before the start of the first serious arc, and I didn't really see any of them being real careful with their opponents during the Ring Battles or the Future arc. Look, I'm sorry that I went off like that, and, again, I acknowledge that there's probably quite a few of these stories that are quite good, but for the life of me I just can't stand them. To me the friendships that I've seen these characters build are strong and resilient. You want to know a good betrayal story between close comrades? Watch Captain America Civil War. It's not just a case of 'I always secretly hated you' or Starscream Syndrome, but it gives fairly good context and logic for every plot twist and fight. Alright, I'm gonna try to calm down. I'm not trying to say that your work is inherently bad if you write that type of fanfiction, but could a few more people maybe try writing other kinds of stories? It's just...tiring to read so many similar summaries that make you feel bad. I wasn't trying to call anybody out, nor was I trying to offend anyone, but I just had to let loose somewhere. Thanks if you read the whole thing, but if you didn't, I understand. |