Author has written 4 stories for Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Naruto.
my name is Alicia I'm not telling my sir-name, i'm not that crazy, though my sister would beg to differ,
I am Australian and 23, (contrary to popular belief by flamers I am not a psycotic american adolesant with unresolved self esteem issues)
My nick-name is hobbit becouse i am only 5ft short and as sam said i'm not growing anymore exept maybe sideways.
I am studdying Bachelor of arts at UWS to become a secondary teacher
I dont have much to say i'm a mad fan of LOTR's (books and movies)
Inu Yasha, Ruroni Kenshin, yu gi oh, Transformers, Naruto, Godzilla the searies, Bleach, and uuuuum realy any anime that i can find a few pepisodes or chapters for.
I have also now discovered Harry Potter stuff as well (curse the author for making snape evil)
currently i'm obsessing over lotr's
I can handle and appriciate almost any pairing be it straight slash or other but there are a couple I just cant deal with and sinced its shorter than typing out the list of the ones i like here they are,
legolas / gimli (this is just not right no matter how well writen, its just wrong, think of the height and size diference its just not physicaly posible)
Anyone not a hobbit / any of the hobbits (same deal think of the mechanics of it , it just couldnt happen without enormouse pain on the hobbits part in slash or a very flexible and esily satisfied girl)
Elladan / Elrohir (lets just not go there twincest is so wrong)
Eladan and or Elrohir / Elrond ( again lets not go there)
Faramir / Boromir ( again lets not do the incest thing)
Evil guys , souron , saruman , wormtounge, random ork/ Good guy or fellowship member (how anybody came up with the idea of leggy getting with lurts I will never know, shudders)
I am curently writing a story (I'M A WHAT?)and have managed to get myself a beta reader but updates will probably be eratic becouse i'm starting uni and life in general often takes over but i will try.
I've recently found that heaps of author bios have realy long lists of the things they think are funny, quotes, jokes gross facts ect so heres my list.
Men are like...
1. Men are like ...Laxatives ... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.. Men are like ... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ... Popcorn . ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming,
12. Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
"There are no straight men, Just men who have not yet met Legolas".
"Issues? You bet your ass I have issues!"-T Shirt
"I have the right to remain silent...I just don't have the ability"- Ron White, Blue Collar Comedy Tour
"Fascinating. How do we kill it?" - General Landry, Stargate SG1
"Personally, I'd like to just kill you and call it a day. But let's make it your desicion shall we?"- Van Helsing
"If your going to kill someone, kill them. Don't stand around talking about it."- Anna, Van Helsing
"AAACHOO! Sorry...I'm allergic to bullshit"- Det. Spoon, I Robot
"General Hammond, permission to beat the crap out of this man." - Jack, Stargate SG1
"You know that 'We come in peace' business? Bite me." - Jack, Stargate SG1
'I used to have SUPER HUMAN POWERS but my therapist took them away.' -hot topic tee
'Silence is golden but duck tape is silver' - another hot topic tee
' Boys, you cant live with them and it's illegal to shoot them' -keychain
‘Paranoia will keep you alive. All courage gets you is dead.’
'Is he dead?'
'They never are.'
-- Darry & Trish, 'Jeepers Creepers'
'Why can't they have gay people in the army. Personally, I think they're just afraid of a thousand guys with M-16's going 'Who'd you call a faggot?''- Jon Stewart
'Use your head! That lump three feet above your a!' --Jimmy Dugan, 'A League Of Their Own'
'Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.' --Jocelyn, 'A Knight's Tale'
'Diego, spit that out. You don't know where it's been.' -- Manfred, 'Ice Age'
'All right! Bring on those wise fcking Elves!' -- Eddie Dean, 'The Waste Lands,' Stephen King
'Yes, but why is the rum gone?' -- Captain Jack Sparrow, 'Pirates of the Caribbean'
'Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.' -- Westley, 'The Princess Bride'
Mum's gonna have kittens!"
"Big, carnivorous kittens," Another author I forget who
"The midnight pixies are coming with there rabid muffins!" – Another author I forget who
"We have lives we just don’t have dignity."- Another author I forget who
"But where’s all the rum gone?"-capt. jack sparrow
"Come to the dark side... We have Cookies!"- Another author I forget who
"Reality bites with many sizes of teeth"- Another author I forget who
" I have a.d.d and a bunch of magic markers...oh the fun I will have” Another author I forget who
"Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it..."
I'm talking about death—and you've never experienced that. And you cannot act it. You die a thousand casual deaths—with none of that intensity which squeezes out life. . .and no blood runs cold anywhere. Because even as you die you know that you will come back in a different hat.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I farted.- some tee shirt dude
Life gets better as you get older... unless you're a banana. -Cecile Jackson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance? -Edgar Bergen
A word to the wise ain't necessary; it's the stupid ones that need advice -Bill Cosby
He who laughs last didn't get it. -Helen Giangregorio
Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. -David Letterman
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. -Rodney Dangerfield
Suicide hotline...please hold. -some guy with an attitude
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving definitely isn't for you. -some guy with common sense
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.-Dean Martin
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little to no influence on society. -Mark Twain
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. -Woody Allen
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. -Jack Handey
I'm out of my mind, please leave a message. -tee-shirt
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "Go To Hell".
What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.
This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
DORMITORY When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once) TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re a wanker. (t shirt slogan)
I'm going nucking futs! (me)
I swear to drunk I'm not god (me)
I’m not as think as you stoned I am (me)
Roll roll roll the joint
See I knew you were staring at my tits! (t shirt)
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me (t shirt)
I’m not A bitch I’m THE bitch and its Miss Bitch to you!
Under the influence of chocolate (t shirt)
If you can read this you’re too fucking close! (bumper sticker)
You know I have this lip balm and it smells like clag glue! (my sister)
The cheese stands alone
Cheesy toilet paper! (my sister)
Save a tree, eat a beaver! (my sister)
The cheese doodles have taken over the city (my sister)
mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates, By the time you finish them you feel sick! (me twisting the words of forest gump)
The sporks and the shoelaces will do battle and the spoons shall inherit the earth! (me)
Tell me again, why do I need a boyfriend? (t shirt)
I finaly got it all together, but i forgot where i put it. (kitchen plaqe)
Reporter is interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thingabout being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your ownEaster eggs.
Just before the funeral service, the undertaker came up to the very elderly Widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" 98," shereplied. "Two years older than me." "So, you're 96," the undertakercommented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will andtold her preacher that she had two requests. First, she wanted to becremated, and second, she wanted her Ashes scattered overWal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'llbe sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose, mind you. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief"
Don't think of it as hot flushes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!
Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
THE SENILITY PRAYER: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Men are like tiles
I’m not going insane; I got there years ago, Actually it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. (Me)
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain
“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.” -Elayne Boosler
“Fat people are hard to kidnap”
“How many vegetables had to die to make your stupid salad?”
“We have seen the future and it is filled with sign like: Warning! No walking into walls. They will not move for you.”
“Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.”
“Fight Crime! Shoot Back”
“Don’t think the police help? The next time you’re in trouble, try calling a crackhead.”
“Peace! Something to shoot for!”
“Establish world peace: Kill everyone!”
"They're fragile, the elves, particularly the Mirkwood strain." - Viggo Mortensen
"That's so funny." - Orlando Bloom, rather sarcastic, in response to above comment.
"Final count, forty two."
"Forty two? Not bad for a pointy-eared elven princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on number forty three."
"He was already dead."
"He was twitching."
"He was twitching because he's got my axe imbedded in his nervous system!" - Gimli and Legolas, TTT
"'The arses on the trousers aren't very tight. They're very loose and baggy and I like tight trousers. And the shoes - the shoes have got a bit of a heel, and it's a strange sensation for a man. Especially when you're running.' He mimes a mincing trot. 'I am mighty Hornblower! Watch me run like a girl!'" - Ioan Gruffud
"Strangely enough, the first time I tried to read the book I was on holiday in Florida. I dropped it in the pool my first day there. If that's not a Pippin thing to do, I don't know what is." - Billy Boyd on being asked if he could relate to Pippin.
"If I could uninvent anything, I would uninvent Hitler's mum, guns and broccoli." - Dominic Monaghan
"Legolas doesn't speak a lot - he prefers to let his actions speak for him. Legolas' moves are smooth and elegant, like a cat. You know how cats can jump and land steadily on their paws? That's what I'm trying to do. There's a strength in that, but it's very balletic. It's also bloody hard to do without falling over!" - Orlando Bloom
"Vig used to call me 'elf boy,' and I'd call him 'filthy human.' As an Elf, I never got a scratch on me, never got dirty. And Vig would come out with blood and sweat all over him. And he'd say to me, 'Oh, go manicure your nails.'" - Orlando Bloom
"We have these digs at each other. Viggo will go on about Elves and how they're always doing their nails and brushing their long, blonde hair, and being all prissy. And I just say: Well, at least I'm going to live forever! Got that? LIVE FOREVER!" - Orlando Bloom
"Elf Envy...they all had it." - Orlando Bloom
"My life at the moment is a bit like my wardrobe. Organised chaos." - David Wenham
"I like cooking, but I like other people cooking more." - David Wenham
"I was on my way out of a Sunday rehearsal. When I was walking out of the gym, all sort of sweaty, half in street clothes and half in Aragorn's clothes, waiving the sword around, trying to keep a mental picture of what we've just done. Just walking down the street, down to where my car was parked, on a Sunday afternoon, waiving the sword around, looking like some desperate Rasputin character. Cops car comes: there's been some report..." - Viggo Mortensen
"Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew." - Johnny Depp
"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while there I was the prime suspect." - my friend Rebecca
You know you're a LOTR freak if:
1. When asked where you want to go on vacation, you say "A nice trip to Rivendell would be relaxing."
2. You're idea of a perfect marriage means that you marry an elf.
3. When your little brother's first word is " Ada", you get excited, because you know that's the Elvish word for "father".
4. When you see a golden band around someone's finger, you wonder why they aren't invisible.
5. Your idea of "graceful" is watching Legolas prance through the woods killing orcs.
6. You write the mayor and tell him that houses built into the ground with round, wooden doors are a better way to live.
7. At a restaurant, you ask the chef if they serve Elven bread.
8. When you grow up, you want to live in New Zealand.
9. You consider anyone measuring below 5 feet to be a "half-ling".
10. When asked in class to give a synonym for "traitor", you say "Gollum!"
11. Mom hears you muttering "My Precious" in your sleep.
12. Your goal is to live to be 111.
There are three types of people you don't piss off, Custom Officials, Air Marshals, and Police Officers. Because they can say funny things like 'Cavity Search'.
Republican's For Voldemort
Frodo Failed. Bush Has the Ring.
There is no quality in others that frightens you more than the shadow of what you might have been.
"Yes... BUT NO SPRINKLES! God help you if I find sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find... I shall KILL YOU!"
-Stewie; Family Guy
"Remember, women are slower to come then men."
-Jaime( Me.) (When told to walk faster.)
"It was Professor Dumbledore who felt that the fifth and sixth year students needed a class of this nature. Personally, I think it a great waste of time, and a rather scary venture. The thought of any of you actually breeding one day, brings terror to my heart."
- Professor Snape's Sex 101 By Aradia
The Death of Many is Necessary for the Lives of the Few.
"And someone throws a chicken up onto the stage. So I pick it up and throw it back into the crowd I mean, I'm from Detroit, I've never been on a farm: it has feathers and wings...it'll fly." ~Alice Cooper
Who Cares About Love...I'd Rather Fall In Chocolate
"I've been thinking with my guts since forever, and you know what? I've come the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains"
"Where will talent take you if you half-ass everything?"
What garlic is to a salad, insanity is to art."
"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." -Oscar Wilde
"Keep in mind... The object of Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave in a well preserved body, but to rather skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "HOLY SH!T WHAT A RIDE!""
id lose my mind if it wasn’t attached... oops there it goes...
"I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you, plugged in and ready to fall..."
98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't,
"Lobotomy’s are what made this country what it is today."
" the best part of waking up is Satan in your cup"
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot
Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
My current favorite song is from the soundtrack of LOTR's two towers
Where once was light
These tears we cry
So in the end
Now we say goodbye
These tears you cry
And you will weep
Gives me goose-bumps every time i listen to it, so very gollum.
And thats about it , for the most part i love romance and humor parodys check out my c2 comunity it has over160 cool humor storys . thats all from me TTFN ta ta for now
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