Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, Fruits Basket, and Naruto.
Hello everybody. My name is Marta and I'm an addict of fanfiction and I'm not ashamed of admitting it.
I am a Portuguese young woman living in Luxembourg who fell in love with fanfiction at first sight.
I have been reading for years but only now, I had the courage to publish a story.
Please be kind and let me know what you think about my first attempt.
I started to upload "The Next Great Adventure" in AO3, under the same username. I corrected some mispelings and such but the story is the same.
Maybe later I will upload my other fics there too.
Some amusing quotes that I found while searching for some to my story that I simply could not help but share around (I will add more as I find them)
''Seeing a spider isn't a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.''
''Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting a bull not to charge because you're a vegetarian.''
''The problem with two faced people is deciding which face to slap first.''
''Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they will show up quickly.''
''The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1- open the bottle to allow it to breath; 2- if it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.''
''As a kid I think I ate too much rice krispies... now all my body does is snap, crack and POP!''
''I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect'. That way when I forget it, it always remind me: 'Your password is incorrect'.''
''Askhole: a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.''
''Every morning: Me - I really can't stay. Bed - But Baby, it's cold outside.''
''I'm never having kids; I hear they take 9 months to download.''
''All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips.''
''I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times just to be sure.''
''If you are cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?''
''Don't trust everything you see; even salt looks like sugar.''
''Don't worry the spider is smaller than you. - Yeah, so is a grenade!''
''Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and the alarm clock is the police.''
''I know the voices in my head aren't real, but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome.''
''Marriage is a workshop... where husband works and wife shops.''
''Chocolate come from cocoa which is tree; that makes it a plant... so chocolate is a salad.''
''Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.''
''When you are stressed you eat ice-cream, chocolate, cake and sweets. Why? Because desserts spelled backwards stressed."
''I hate it when people are at my house and ask 'do you have a bathroom?'. No, I pee in the yard.''
''The fact that jellyfish survived for 650 millions years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.''
''Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realising it.''
''I'm a brilliant brunette with lots of blond moments.''
''With great power comes a great electricity bill.''
''Lazy rule: can't reach it? Don't need it.''
''MATH: Mental Abuse To Humans.''
''I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the damn script.''
''Remember, if we get caught, we are deaf and don't speak English.''
''You know when you can smack some thing to make it work? I wished I could do that with some people.''
''Paper cut: a tree's final moment of revenge.''
''Why can't the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself!''
''Common sense is like deodorant: the people who need it the most never use it.''
Funny Quotes related to the Harry Potter World:
Sirius Black: Voldemort is after something... something that he didn't have last time.
Harry Potter: ...A nose?
D. Umbridge: Cedric Diggory's dead was a tragic accident.
Harry: Sounds like your birth.
M. MacGonagall: Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?
H. P.: Yes...
M. M.: You called her a liar?
H. P.: Well, yes...
M. M.: Have a biscuit, Potter.
H. P. : Have... what?
Harry: You're white.
Sirius: No, I'm Black.
Harry: Stop joking!
Sirius: No, I'm Sirius.
''Voldemort is like a teenage girl: he has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores and an obsession a famous teenage boy.''
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.
(A Short Story by Silent Songbird)
Once upon a time, a young lady was baking in her kitchen. She loves baking. One day, she realizes that maybe she should share her love of baking. She bakes a nice apple pie and then puts in front of her house, hanging the sign "free pie". People come around, they taste the pie and they LOVE it! She feels flattered and happy that people love her baking, and she feels good that she fed some people. So, the next day, she bakes some more. More people come for the free pie, and they love it even better. This goes on, she bakes, they come, they eat, she feels good and they feel good.
Then one day, she decides to mix it up. She bakes cupcakes and muffins instead of pie.
The people... They lose their shit.
"Oh my God! Why the hell did you make cupcakes?"
"You had something good here and you ruined it!"
"You can't bake for shit! This is shit! Kill yourself for making this."
Baffled by the vehemence of the people, she goes back to making her free pie and giving it out once more. Sent thinks, maybe it was a mistake to make cupcakes. That won't happen again. Except, it does. The people lose their shit again. This time, she didn't even have to change her bakery.
"Ugh, there's too much sugar in this. "
"Damn it, there's not enough sugar in this!"
"The pie crust is missing! I thought you knew how to bake?"
What had started as a hobby and gave the young lady pleasure, had instead grown into something else. A chore. A task. And slowly, little by little, the lady began to hate what she baked. She began to hate the task of baking. And just like that, one day, there was no pie outside her house.
And the people had the gall, to ask her why.
If you are among the percentage of people on this site who are not arrogant enough to forget that fan fiction is written freely, and authors expect no reward for their hard work except for the satisfaction of people appreciating their work and stories, then feel free to copy this little story to your profile.