Author has written 41 stories for Harry Potter, Angel, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Law and Order: SVU, Supernatural, CSI, Naruto, and Eureka.
Hey, to everyone who put me on their Favorite Authors List: Hope you enjoy everything I'm writing. I know it's been awhile, but I'm working on it. Thanks for sticking with me.
Quotes that I love:
He didn't deserve and therefore wouldn't get.
Word of caution: never get Angel angry, because then, not only is he invincible, he’s fucking scary.
You can’t say that—you waited ten seconds. It isn’t true if you wait ten seconds.
What was that saying? Don’t argue with an idiot because they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you?
They all have a 'I'm not in a bad mood but don't you dare fuck with me' look on their faces.
Yeah, kid was only raised in a hell world, god forbid we should let him near projectile weapons. He might hurt himself.
What? Why are you giving me that look? I haven't done anything... I think.
Salty goodness is one thing. Salty nagging is another altogether.
Bribe is such an...unclean word. I love it.
Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect a hundred dollars.
Hey! I have an idea! Let's write a threatening letter: it'll be fun."
Petty? Yes. Rewarding? Certainly.
Oh and how bad could that be right? It's only like having your still beating heart ripped out of your chest, stamped on, and handed to you on a platter with an olive sprig and a condescending voice asking if you can still be friends.
I don't know! Hey, I'm sitting here questioning my sexuality and you can't even be bothered to put your book down.
Well, I guess I'll take a shower and touch myself while thinking about you.
What the hell would he do with a crying man in his living room?
And, gee, that didn’t sound pathetic or needy whatsoever.
Angel! What have we told you about sneaking up on people? It’s rude. And creepy. Whistle or something when you come into a room.
You strip off the rest of those clothes and let me lick you until you scream?
I’m a slut. I can tell sexual tension. It’s a gift.
Okay that’s not funny because well... fuck look at me. Who wouldn’t want me? Gay, straight, guy, girl. I’m fucking hot!
Why, if you poke me, do I not flinch? If you do something stupid, do I not smirk? If you write nasty articles about me, do I not faint?”
I could have gone my whole life without knowing that.
Oh God, how embarrassing. He sounded so...so...so straight!
I know, the laughing hysterically until you couldn’t breathe sort of gave it away.
Damn, Smallville, that is evil. And pretty fucking brilliant. I approve.
He looked, even more than usual, like a total wet dream.
Answer your goddamn cell phone.
Yeah, the fight had been bad, but my God, was the make-up sex going to be fantastic!
It is all he can come up with, what the panic overloading his brain and all.
And surprise, surprise, temptation wins out.
Curling up on the couch and watching a sappy movie isn't the same unless you're there groping me under the blanket.
It was like watching a starving wounded puppy suffer... just not cool.
Have you ever been angry and then hated yourself for it? Or, conversely, been angry and thought, “I had every right to be angry. Fuck off.”
Who’d have thought that behind that shuffle and blush lurked a perverted wanker?
I'm just watching a toddler eat candy off the floor.
It reminded me that I haven't seen my therapist in over a month.
I wonder if Heaven has cable.
It was like some sick, cosmic joke.
There should be a rule that you can't be mad at me if I didn't do anything.
The story was interesting to say the least, smutty to say the most.
Did he just bow? What a self-righteous prick.
Does that satisfy your sick, twisted little mind? Well? Does it?
I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout ‘Long live Lord Voldemort’, just because I think it’s funny.
I am not allowed to ask Professor Lupin about the mating habits of werewolves because his personal life is none of my business.
I am not allowed to have sexual relations with Harry Potter under his invisibility cloak because all though people can’t see us, they can still hear us.
I am not allowed to smack people at random and blame it on a seizure.
I am not allowed to use Colin Creevey’s camera to take ‘inappropriate’ pictures of the quidditch teams without their knowledge or consent.
One day, you're eavesdropping on a sex god, the next you're up close and personal with the dentally misfortunate. Yeah, life is like a box of Bertie Bott's Beans. You never know what you're gonna get.
That's it! If you two don't stop eating my food and accusing me of sleeping with people, I'm going to feed you to the spiders.
Like who I marry affects who I sleep with.
Oh, I don’t think you ought to trust me. I wouldn’t trust me if I were you. Actually, I don’t trust me come to think of it.
Life really isn’t fair, is it? Yes, life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all. And I’m yakking. But I tend to do this when I’m nervous. And I’m really, really nervous.
But the voices in my head made me do it! They were driving me mad!
God pretended not to notice the odd look he was getting from Lucifer.
Let’s draw the attention of a full-grown homicidal mountain troll today, shall we? It’s on my To Do List.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, on the agenda of World Domination is DOOM! DOOM, do you hear me! I shall destroy the world!
I mean, what kind of doctor does that. ‘Hey, hello, nice to meet you and all, but we ran these tests, figuring that something was wrong. When we discovered, to our utter shock, that something was, in fact, wrong, we talked over it and came to the conclusion that there was nothing that we can do for you, because there is no precedent. We’re so sorry we couldn’t find any treatment, but we managed to estimate the time of your death, at the rate the disease is going, that should make you feel better. Sorry, nothing else we can do, have a great life. For a little while.’ Christ, those bastards.
What? No! No denial! I'm perfectly straight! I mean, I don't have a problem with you being gay or anything, but I'm SO not.
Now this may sting a bit at first, but don't worry, that'll go away as soon as the searing pain kicks in. Feel free to scream.
Cause you're getting that look again. I've been seeing it more and more. The one where it looks like you want to hug me or something. It gives me the creeps.
The past is hard to ignore when it walks up and slaps you in the face.
Oh, ok. I just died a little inside. Please continue.
Yes, Weasley, because that’s what’s important right now! We’re all going to die, but that doesn’t matter because Malfoy’s a pouf!
When a child breaks it is never a pretty sight. When their young souls shatter into a million pieces, when their bodies lie still and silent, shells and living corpses—adults break beautifully, ‘tis true, but there is something darkly compelling about a broken child.
Light is—well, every good thing you can imagine multiplied by forever. Then add in cheesecake.
You do know that whole transsexual thing was just a rumour right?
Harry, listen, I know me breaking up with you was hard but dating married, straight men is not the answer, I can give you the number to my therapist if you want.
Fine. I’ll help you. But any more McBitchy comments and you’re going to get McBitch-slapped, got it?
You two can be the parents that teach him about all the unimportant stuff like responsibility and the lot, while I will teach him the important stuff like the art of lying around and pranking
We're making a surprise for you. We promise that it won't cause any bodily harm, any changing or adding of limbs, or anything else unnatural like that.
Dude, keep your grubby mitts off my soul. What kind of pervert are you?
Oh god, here we go. A lecture from Mr. Perfect. That’s exactly what I wanted when I woke up this morning.
Well when you put it like that it sounds pathetic.
Come on, lets leave so I can get you more drunk and take advantage of you. Oh, did I just say that out loud? Forget that.
It took every ounce of self-control for Jessica not to run over and molest her boyfriend for all he was worth.
Oh. My. God. A hot guy and I mean a hot guy is molesting me in the men’s bathroom, what do I do? Eep! No you moron you don’t squeak.
Look innocent! Look innocent! I’ve done nothing wrong face I’ve done nothing wrong…
Warning: Slash, swearing, and sex. (My three favorite 's' words.)
Welcoming him with open arms, with a large helping of smug See How Noble We Are and a nauseating dash of Aren't You Grateful To Us For Befriending You In Your Time Of Need.
Where the hell do you get off telling everybody I'm a good guy? Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to have everybody think that I'm some kind of hero?
He had not been placed in Slytherin for nothing… conniving… manipulative… sexy… and never to be trusted…
Some of his brain cells let out miserable little crying noises before they committed suicide.
God, what was so interesting about breasts? They were just fat and milk glands- nothing sexy about that.
A porcelain piggy started squealing as the blunt side of a hammer was raised in the air just above its china head. Screaming, it begged for forgiveness as it saw its untimely death coming at full speed down. Had it not held your money well enough? Had it served its purpose long enough? Were you unsatisfied with its quality of work? Thousands of questions came from his snout until a resounding crunch of its porcelain skin was crushed open and the internal organs made of currency flowed out on the floor in a wave of silver. No more did that pig cry.
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