Name: Classified as a national secret

Sex: If you are offering, are attractive, and of age, I'll accept

Age: According to my niece - old

For all those who have noticed I have written several stories that are not finished - please don't bitch at me - my mind and muse are rather fickle.

I'm back bitches - I know it's been a long time since I've uploaded any content or updated anything, but hey I'm a college student with an iffy work ethic give me a break. I have started work on a couple of stories and have plans to upload in the near future. In other news, I have started a P A T R E O N so please if you're feeling generous and/or like my work look me up at https://www..com/LordHades666.

Planned stories include (as well as potential updates):

Harry Potter: Sidhe Lord - a story where James (coercive rapist) Potter is NOT in fact Harry's daddy

The Reynes are back in town - in which House Reyne was not razed in its entirety

The White Lion - what if dragons weren't the only magic to come back to Westeros

Son of Sithis: The DragonFox - in which the Lilmothiit fox people of Argonia didn't die out

Hadriax Hale will likely be redone and continued

I will continue to take any advice or criticisms with my usual sarcastic grace. If anyone has suggestions or story ideas feel free to pitch them to me.

For those of you who I know will be upset about some of the things I put into my stories here's a list of things I disagree with and tend to correct if I can in the fanons I tend to write in:

Harry Potter:

- The fuck ton of plot holes

- A magic world with very little magic

- A separate "magic" world with no discernible culture beyond systemic prejudice

- An ill defined, ill-conceived magic system with no clear limitations or explanations thereof

- Wands suck (seriously magic wands, are they fucking fairy godmothers?)

- Not admitting that a. what the Dursley's did to Harry was child abuse/neglect and b. that victims of child abuse/neglect rarely go on to be normal/functioning members of society with or with out therapy

- James Potter is a rapist/stalker; hounding a woman/girl for years until she finally breaks down and goes out with you is coercion, having sex with her under such circumstances is tantamount to rape

- Molly getting Arthur Weasley with love potions, it's rape people - the same frickin thing as slipping a roofie or other drugs that make the victim suggestible

- Harry (and others, especially Severus) not recognizing that Halloween was the night his parents died and thinking "hey, maybe celebrating the anniversary of his parents' deaths is a touch fucked up"

- The bizarre nature of the prophesied hero being weak and moronic as all get out (we see Harry do exactly one piece of particularly powerful magic - the patronus, that's it)

- The lack of real characterization (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, etc. are all depicted as really one dimensional with very little true depth to their characters even as they "grow up" and the adult characters are essentially tropes with little beyond that identifying them as original characters)

- The whole ridiculous "Lily never forgiving Snape for insulting her the one time" thing (and then proceeding to ignore 5 or so years of systemic abuse inflicted upon her "best friend" by the "man" she marries)

- Snape being an abusive asshole (the abused rarely grow up to become abusers themselves, that's a line the media likes to push but it's patently untrue)

GOT (specifically the tv series, I haven't read the books yet although I suppose I really should):

- The weird hatred when it comes to incest (especially Jon and Dany) when it is fairly common among cousins (first cousins at that- which is the same degree of separation between uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews) in both this world and the real world (hell the Queen and Prince Philip were second cousins)

- The depiction of Cersei as a caring/competent mother really doesn't make sense with her narcissism and alcoholism

- The lack of any discernible magic other than "magical/prophetic" dreams, magical creatures, and the ability to control magical creatures (warging - the word warg was stolen from Tolkien too which bugs me) despite descriptions of magic in the history of the world

- No real cultural significance or norms given to the various religions despite heavy focus on them (for example, no real descriptions of how the old religion is practiced save prayer beneath the weirwoods and guest right)

Elder Scrolls:

- The guild questlines in Skyrim and the monotony of the side quests

- The lack of impact race, gender, and actions seem to have (granted that's more a game mechanics thing than a lore issue, so perhaps it can just be forgotten)

- The shitty magic system (again a game mechanics thing - the way magic is portrayed in the lore is significantly more versatile and powerful)