Captain Snippet
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Joined 07-15-04, id: 632660, Profile Updated: 09-03-08
Author has written 7 stories for Kingdom Hearts, and Final Fantasy X-2.

a history of history
retarded reviews throughout the ages

“This SUCKED! There was no point the story! If you wrote a story like this 20 years ago, people would stone you to death. If you want to be an author, my advice to you would be don't.”
--
anonymous

“ur story was a hummerless and not funy. there was not enough comecidec relish from the sereus seens. u belive thingsarefunny that en't like peeings in the soiled pants. and undewhered.sum ppl actuly do htat like a fend of myne. he has to weere soiled ppants becuz he soils his pants. and they en't comfertible tust me. u need to kept it mere real. fer example, i no no crad game known as go fich. u made it up u r dumbed. al in al ur story ywas teh must terible story in the werld. i peed my pents fter it cuz it was bad. now excuz me mi mummy has 2 iren my cordouroys.”
--fancycritic (a reviewer not logged in)(later revealed to be the mentally deficient brother of
captain snippet)

“listen up snippet... this story was pointless and stupid! makes no fing sense, and has watsoever no fing humor in it at all! YOU SUCK MAN! GO BACK TO YOUR FING GAP! NOT TO FING METION THIS TITLE NAME WAS ALREADY TAKEN BY SOMEONE ELSE! go look up humor, publish date, pg-13, in this section to find out HOE! and if you ever write another fing humorous fic again, expect more flames... FING GAY A MUTHA FING HOE! u literally suck and need to be removed! you have no writing talent at all! Good luck in your fing future, cuz u'll be munching on carpet. FING BITCH, I HOPE YOU DIE BOFRE YOU BREED!”
--biotch ( a reviewer not logged in, with fake-seeming e-mail adress included)

“wel lok i fund taht i wuz logd in this is fancy critic ur story is so gaey i don thenk u kno engalsh vaery weal u r so stuped leik 2 maek fun of the les fortnate lik thos who soel there pants wel let me tel u it is so hard 2 get uren out of corduoroy wheic is the fabrc of gentalmen. gentalmaen who wil nevar red ur story wihc is gay. LOL PWNED NOOB”
--fancycritic

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAI like the part where you frig off and die. Oh wait. That's right now. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA what a lame story, it is so dumb its not funy its dum i spelt dumb wrong lol. i hope you never ever write again, it is so stupid and random. it reminds me of neapolaten dinamite. there is no plot, its plain to see that the "creature" that is chasing it is a level 7 Super saiyjin nothing else is that powerful except for sauron if he had the one ring get a life n00b and maybe make some friends, oh wait you cant cause you dont have any LMAO OMG I KILL ME. so please, fic-off”
--fic-off (later revealed to be the mentally deficient brother of
captain snippet)

“OMG OMG OMG I LOVED THIS STORY! I CAN"T W8 FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!11!eleven!one!1Oh, wait a moment. This is not Bizarro world. I hated it. Worst. Story. Ever. I mean... I'm speechless.It's THAT stupid, not to mention offensive. Oh, and nice try at a metaphore to. It's so easy to tell that the "meteor" is just a stupid way to represent the camping trip going down, until it blows up in their faces. Please, sir or madam, never write on this site again. If you do, know this you have made an enemy of SLASHTASTIC!”
--slashtastic (later revealed to be the mentally deficient brother of captain snippet)

“Lame
Lame x infinite.
you suck.I won't read your crap any more you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! You're mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!. You english pig-dog! GO boil your bottoms you son of silly person!! I blow my nose at you, so called Snippit Captain!, you and all your fan-fiction kaniggets! Now never write again or I shall taunt you a second time
So, Fic off.”
--fic-off

Captain Snippet has received various other flames throughout her years as a writer; these are a few of her favourites. Note the high concentration of reviews made by a sibling, "Russell.

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Saving Face by Crystal Remnant reviews
There’s a fine line between stupidity and the cliché. Join Bella, Edward and Jacob as they walk this line with blatant disregard for the rules of nature, time, space and reality.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 656 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/1/2007 - Published: 9/5/2007
The Vanishing Cabinet by Caer La reviews
Awesome possum. A love story of pedophilic proportions. Maymay not write more chapters, depdning on inspiration.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/11/2004 - Albus D., Hermione G.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Armageddon reviews
When Kairi moves to a new school because of her crazy father's hunches, she's ready to start over again. But soon she learns that her father might not be so crazy, and that someone in her new school harbors a secret that could harm many...
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,733 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 9/10/2005 - Sora, Kairi
My Story: And, Boy Is It A Doozy! reviews
When Tidus is betrayed by his love, he needs revenge. He seeks the help of a certain female friend of his, and as they try to bring pain to his exlover, a new relationship begins to form. YunaTidus with past TidusWakka
Final Fantasy X-2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,335 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 3/2/2005 - Tidus, Yuna
An Innocent Divided reviews
Struggling to protect himself and his siblings from their alcoholic father's abuse, and trying to deal with some new arising problems at school involving a young redhead girl, Sora begins to feel his balancing act come crashing down on him.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,959 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 4/2/2005 - Sora, Kairi
Little Camp of Horrors reviews
A boy scout camping trip that takes a turn for the worst. Rated for high levels of silliness as well as some horribly pansy comments along the way, plus blood/gore used in humorous context.
Final Fantasy X-2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,536 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/5/2005 - Published: 3/27/2005
One Shot Two Shot reviews
Sora and co are caught in a gunfight at the club one night. Rated for some swearing, blood, rap breaks and other exciting things that add to high ratings.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,784 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/5/2005
Betrayal reviews
Post CoM. Maybe remembering isn't the best option at this stage in the game. Sora wishes to forget.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/19/2005 - Complete
What REALLY Happened reviews
This is what REALLY happened at the end of Kingdom Hearts. You all think you know but you don't. Couplings? Only the coupling of faggotry and my warped mind.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 8/22/2004 - Published: 7/15/2004