Em Fargo
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Joined 08-02-04, id: 645527
Author has written 5 stories for Mediator, Fearless, and Harry Potter.

NOTE TO READERS! I am going to camp for SIX WEEKS starting today, the 22nd of june. I promise promise promise that I tried to update my stories 1st, but it kept giving me an error message. But when I get back... I'm uploading to the END of Dr. Suze! that is right, all the way up to chapter 31 or 32 or something! Oh, and i should come back with more quotes!

Hey everybody! I am writing a few stories which i do not update until a couple people review! I LIVE ON REVIEWS! THE LONGER, THE BETTER! hey, the 1st person 2 guess which anime this is a comment on gets glowing reviews on each of their stories... or something... lol.
What a nice peanut. I want a sweater puppy!

hah actual comment.

hey, guys! in case you didn't know, i used to be iluvjds for a super-long time, but i am currently obsessed with that GOSH DARNED FEARLESS SERIES WHICH IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE! anyway, when i tried to figure out which book char. i was (B/c everyone is a book char) i couldn't think of any Meg Cabot ones i was... well, that's not entirely true. i'm clearly lilly moscovitz... but that's not really something to brag about. anyway, but the char i REALLY am is ed fargo, from fearless, except that he's a GUY, so then i realized... OMG, he's the rare book character whose name starts with "E"! and "ed" can be turned into "em" which is my nickname! AAAAHHH! so this is my new name. Em. Em fargo.

quoth phishphood when asking me 2 type sum'n up 4 her: "typie fish go moo".

also, to remind you all, meg cabot is NOT a pancake. repeat, MEG CABOT IS NOT A PANCAKE! i actually caught myself thinking this. there was a whole logical thought process behind it, though. ust ask me wut it iz+i sahll tell ye!

my bf (yes, shocking, i have a bf, but he might be an xbf soon ifi keep talking like that...) goes "meg cabot is in cahoots with the pancake people" he said this when i stated how meg cabot is not a pancake, and yes, that does come up in my everyday conversation. Note: he now says that meg cabot is in fact in cahoots with the PUDDING people, he was incorrect. shaeks ehad

oh, btw, he is now officially my xbf, on the grounds that we got bored of each other. :-D

i'm thinking of marrying this guy i know whose last name is ackerman just so my father-in-law can be "david ackerman"... b/c that'd be the rockingest thing in the WORLD. aside from marryiing someone whose last name was de silva. or slater. or fargo. or BIRBIGLIA, who is not actually "fictional," per se, but he is a stand-up, which is just as great. AND HE'S E-MAILED ME 3 TIMES, BABY!

The Meg Cabot coincedences:

With Stephen king books: OK, what first set me on to this was the fact that the main character of a Stephen King novel, The Dark Half, (and you can check me on this) is Thaddeus Beaumont. Now how freaking popular could that name be? It CAN'T be a coincedence! Which leads me to believe the Meg Cabot has read this book. And there's another one, Gerald's game, (I'm not recommending you read these, mind, unless you're the stephen king type) in which the main character is a woman named Jessie. now, there's this weird thing in her room while she's handcuffed naked to a bed with her dead husband lying on the floor, (don't ask) and she starts thinking of this song... "space cowboy, gangster of love" but she changes it in her head to "GHOST COWBOY, specter of love." I know one can find conspiracies anywhere if one looks hard enough (and BELEVE me, i know... wtf, an M&M balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade JUST when i'd stopped thinking about fearless?) but come ON! there were more, but they were more of a stretch... such as that stephen king's Bag of Bones is referred to, and i QUOTE, as "A haunted love story."

There's also scads with the fearless series, which are more likely as she's advertised for them in 1800 and a few of them advertise 1800 back... but I'm trying SO hard not to think about them right now...

Now some quotes: (note to readers of quotes: the only reason that there are more quotes of me than of anyone else, aside from my evident hilariosity, is that I am around to hear every single funny or amusing or witty or random or basically everything that I say. However, I don't hear everything funny that, say DP or DC says, because these people have actual friends.)

Quote from girl in my confirmation class: "My mom once opened the door so hard it left a whole in the wall next to it. I was like 'look dad, mom's a psychopath!' and he was like 'i know, that's why i married her.'"

Quote from pidgeypidgeypidgeypotato: "Yes, Emily, my house is infested with asparagus."

Quote from Jan (no fan fic name, for SOME reason): "meep. Meep? MEEP!"

Quote from someone at genius camp: I don't remember the exact words, or who said it, but she called paul the asparagus AN IGUANA! i mean WHAT? LOL!

Quote Mr. C: "It involves at least 3 murds and a stick of butter... you don't want to know."

Taped to someone's shirt at a dance at genius camp: On the front; "I am now twenty penguins." On the back; "I am no longer twenty penguins."

Quote a girl in my class, DP: "Haha Meg Cabot is gross... I'm--I'm just kidding, Emily! I don't even know her! Just a joke!" Hehe behold the powers of my patented scary-face!

quote of the jesse-pants-haters-club: "jesse's pants are too tight! DOWN with jesse's pants!" let us all put that on our pages! oh, and you know what should be in every fan fic? jesse and paul wrestling in chocolate wearing speedos.

this is a quote from camp:

me: "oh, so YOU'RE peter!"

peter: "yeah..."

me: "oh, everyone's wrong! you're not THAT stupid-looking!"

now some school quotes. Before you read these, you should know that Sra. M, our spanish teacher, is considered one of the two SCARIEST people at the school. And I'm the third scariest, but in a different way. (hehe i might be exaggerating... or i might not.) So the fact that she's started making all these funny quotes is ver unexpected.

Sra. M: "En que clase recibes las mejores notas?" In what class do you get the best grades?

DC: "En espanol."

Sra. M: "Mmhmm... I'd hate to think of your other classes..."

Sra M: "Eres mayor o menor que tu madre?" Are you older or younger than your mother?

DL: "Soy mayor que mi madre." I'm older than my mother.

Sra. M: "That's some family... I don't care, I'll accept any answer..."

:GK slumps down in chair:

Mr. S: What in G-d's name are you doing?

DP: He's trying to recreate the feeling that he's in bed because he has most of his best thoughts when he's in bed.

GK: Actually... she's right...

Everyone: WTF, MATE?

Mr. S: She's been spying on you, G. You know all those houseplants in your house? They're actually microphones.

Me: I have to write this down...

SM: "Esta clase es la mas aburrido." This is the most boring class.

Sra M: "I beg your pardon! I haven't averaged grades yet!"

DC: "La Sra. M es muy inteligente." Sra. M is very inteligent. Surely you could translate THAT, person who's for some reason bothering to read these.

Sra M: Aha, he needs more points in his grade book!

DC: "Soy la--el! El muchacho menos perezoso..." I am the girl--the boy! The least lazy boy.

Sra M: "Mas perezoso." Most lazy.

DL: "Soy el muchacho menos popular." I am the least popular boy.

Everyone: "Aawww!"

Sra M: "Poo, not you." (How to pronounce 'popular')

Student: "Didn't he do the drawing... with the man..."

Mr. S: "The--oh! The drawing of the man! I'd hoped someone would choose that!"

Everyone: "HUH?"

DP: "Oh! The man! With the 20 arms? The octopus man!"

(For anyone who didn't get that one, they meant Leonardo da Vinci. In all fairness, this particular drawing was called "Man".)

JF: There's a lot of anatomical stuff in here...

Mr. S: Hold up some of it.

Sra M: Emily.

Me: Si, no, si, no, si, no.

Sra. M: Correct.

Me: Wow, and I was just guessing!

BG: Really?

Me, mouthing: No.

From our Spanish audio tapes:

"Hay una mesa libre en esta restaurante?" Is there a free table in the restaurant?

b) "Si, en la pimienta." Yes, in the pepper.

At one point, someone in our class last year mentioned that penguins only did it for about thirty seconds, or 30 seconds a year, or something... I don't quite remember. BG said "wow, that's not a lot." I said, and i THOUGHT I was being very quiet, "You're one to talk..." But suddenly a silence overtook the room. MH turned around in his chair and gawked at me, and then everyone was laughing hysterically. I got many hi-fives.

Mr. S uses the word 'upheaval'

DP: " 'upheaval?' "

Mr. S: "What's wrong with 'upheaval'?"

DP: "Nothing... just... speak English!"

Mr. H: Al Gore has made a movie about global warming... I don't remember the title but it's something about "truth"...

DP: Nacho Libre?

More coming as I feel like updating--I mean... get them...


my name wuz previously emlythekool, but i changed it, because... well... i felt like it. now shuddup. giggles

I really like my fannyfic but i would prefer you read the original book it's based on 1st. and i hope u buy it 2 give the author money (not me the actual one with the copyright) and see the movie, because even though the princess diaries 2 has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with any of the books, it gives meg cabot money, and anyone who gives meg cabot money is cool! yaaaay! if u review my stories, i'll review yours! yaaaay! lol. my aim is fanfictionmciw which stands 4 fan fiction meg cabot i wish. tehe. IM me! btw, does anyone know the answer to this question? if i submit an original fiction, would i still be able 2 get it published l8er?

My crushes: (fictional)

jesse (Mediator) jessejessejessejessejessejessejesse siiiighs of course, none of the Mediator people r actually "fictional", but they r in boox, so they go under my fictional crushes.

paul (Mediator) Wow. Just having reread Darkest Hour, he now rivals Jesse. DON'T TELL JESSE! but seriuosly... smart, funny, AND RICH? i wuz raving about him and my friends r all ike "but u said u h8ed paul..." i wuz like "no i didnt" and they were like "yes u did" and i wuz like "well i lied".

rob (1800whereryou) need i say more?

douglas (1800whereryou) i kno, i kno, weird... but he's just like me but more so! and "take that" to the lettuce? he's gr8!

michael (Princess Diaries) every1 does, and i'm sure i will 1ce i reread the boox...

inuyasha (Inuyasha) the ears, and the... well he's kindof sweet really...

miroku (Inuyasha) i kno, i kno, but he's sweet, ya kno? yes, miroku, i will bear your- umm... hi readers...

clark (Smallville) i wouldn't mind getting saved all the time...

fred george (Harry Potter) forking hilarious!

ron (Harry Potter) he says funny things 2! and woohoo... i'm w/ him in phishphood's sotry.. kind of shudders

harry (Harry Potter) he's funny a lot, but pretty mood-swingy l8ly...

sean (Never the Normality) he's from a fan fic by delilah wigglesworth. she doesn't like him much, but at the beginning of the sotry, he's kool

froggy (The Foreigner) school play, kid in my class played him, thought i had a crush on the kid 4 a bit, but it was just froggy and his beret. he rox, he looked sooo heroic in the scene where... well, i wont ruin it 4 u, but there is a BOOM

bernie (The Burglar series) what?

ed (Fearless) so funny! i laff @ evry single joke he makes!

adam (Mediator) same as ed, only slightly different. but still PG r8ed, sumhow... mostly.

father dom (Mediator) not really, thank god, but if i ever do, i know i'm in trouble haha, pidgeypidgeypidgeypotato, my friend, read that and got scared. hehehe

david (Mediator) what? he's closer 2 my age than jesse! he's as close 2 my age as paul! and he's soo smart!

vetch (Earthsea) aaah, sweet comic relief... and the whole magic thingy's a major plus. :giggles insanely:

randolph (She Gets What She Wants) what? in a couple more years... and he's smart... and... sophistic8ed, and nice, and resourceful, even @ his age! i mean,a better sense of humor, and a better bod, and he's rivaling jesse!

lex (Smallville) Mr. Diabolical moneybags heeeeeeey

Mordechai (Hebrew Hammer) lol. he manages to be a bad boy and really REALLY... to use jon stewart's word... "jewy".

thats all 4 now, but more l8er probably. sighs

so, ne1 wanna co-write a story w/ me?

oh, and be sure u speak emilasian in reviews. they all proncouned like they spelled.:

relaly: really really really really really

sotry: a good story

chapper: a good chappy

toin: a funny way 2 pronounce nething that ends in-tion. pronounced "shoin".

puppy: cute thing. see puppish, cute; puppying, being cute.

fudge: yummy thing. see fudgey, yummy.

various animal sounds (e.g. oink, moo, quack): an exclamation

pooch: a good book. transl8 it in2 french if u wanna kno y. giggles see poochy, good book-ish, etc.

idiot: this means PERSON. so if i use it in a review, its not an insult 2 ne1s iq.

and anything over 3 syllables can b shortened. like neccy (or nec) neccessary, possy (or pos) possibly, etc.

i have 3 ficcers named emily so far. there's

em1: me, iluvJDS

em2: susan b

em3: delilah wigglesworth.

em4: chocolateeclair (i do not know this person, but i have found that her name is emily)

if ur name is em and u would like 2 b added 2 this list, e me or review on my story and i'll read ur story and if it is a sotry, i shall add u 2 my em list!

thats all 4 now, so ttyl! e-mail me, aim me, or review my story! if ur story is a sotry, tell me so and i'll send u the bestest most blithering most flattering review u have ever gotten. but only if i like it.

more 411 on emilasia:

queen (honorary title): Teena

cabotia: Meg

MooPoo: Shell

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Through Her Eyes by The Cee Factor reviews
COMPLETELY REVISED. Carmel Mental Health Hospital. Suze has spent the last three years in purgetory. Haunted by her past and surrounded by people who don't believe her story, she waits. For what, no one knows. AU. FINISHED, please review!
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 49 - Words: 126,800 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 11/9/2005 - Susannah S. - Complete
Fire and Ice by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Amidst the hell that life has become thanks to a terrible deal made with Paul Slater, Susannah discovers the ancient game that they both belong to, between the opposing forces of Dark and Light. Can she save Jesse and end this horrifying cycle?
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 34 - Words: 263,705 - Reviews: 1209 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 6/19/2006
A f t e r G l o w by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Jesse, tired of being invisible to his Susannah, makes a Faustian deal with Paul Slater: newly resurrected, Jesse has three days to make Susannah fall in love with him. But when has Paul played by the rules...even his own? "Fairytales" Writing Challenge
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,576 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 2/6/2008 - Susannah S., Hector de Silva/Jesse
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2137 - Favs: 3,558 - Follows: 1,659 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Twiliator by LolliliciousLolly reviews
A series of Mediator/Twilight smackdowns, with all our favourite vampires, ghosts, mediators, werewolves, and...well, Bella's just not that special. For the "What If?" Writing Challenge.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,334 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/1/2008 - Published: 3/21/2008
Paulnocchio by LolliliciousLolly reviews
I'll give you a clue: It's NOT his nose... Response to the Fairytales Challenge.
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,838 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/9/2008
Testosterone Poisoning by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Jesse and Paul, once again battling for Suze's love...and crotch. And when it's on, it's ON.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 785 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Complete
Run Away by SweetestReject reviews
What if Jesse was alive, but a run away who took refuge in the Ackerman's future home? Full summary inside...
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,820 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/12/2007 - Published: 7/5/2005
Do It With Paul Slater by LolliliciousLolly reviews
ALL THE REASONS WHY WE WANNA BOFF OUR SLATER BOY. To the tune of the Android's Do It With Madonna.
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 465 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Complete
StraitJackets Only by LolliliciousLolly reviews
A lollilicious collection of insanely terrifying situations in which the Mediator Characters have been thrown into. Read only if you are two French Fries short of a Happy Meal.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,064 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/3/2006
I'm a Meddie Girl by Sushi Bowl reviews
This is a silly spoof on Aqua's Barbie Girl.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 628 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/10/2006 - Complete
Occupational Hazards by Delilah Wigglesworth reviews
When Paul turns up in ghost form in Suze's room, she's practically scared to death. Which, to her, would be a relief. However, she lives, and is forced to solve Paul's problem. But, does Paul see it as a problem? Not when he has Suze to play with...
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 103,519 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 8/22/2006 - Published: 6/17/2004
F l a s h l i g h t by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Nathan Blake. Robin Lawrence. Charles Austin. Bart Ford. Four boys, all dead. A violently haunted exboarding school. A fire in 1969. A man named Cole to run from. A mystery to be solved...and a love to be determined. Busy, aren't we Suze? [FINISHED]
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 446,760 - Reviews: 1812 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 8/16/2006 - Published: 6/3/2004 - Complete
The Fifth Sense by LolliliciousLolly reviews
...You know that you have a hard life when, upon waking up in the morning, there's no way to tell if you're still sleeping... [AU, SJ.] Suze lacks something that we all take for granted. But she has an ability that we can only dream of... [COMPLETE]
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 191,844 - Reviews: 1086 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 6/1/2006 - Published: 2/11/2005 - Complete
Infected by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Paul is pissed off that Suze thinks Jesse is oh so perfect, so he infects Jesse with two of the Seven Deadly Sins. Unfortunately, he didn't predict the result of such a deadly combination: Lust and Wrath.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,287 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/18/2006 - Complete
Mrs De Silva by older and amused reviews
ok, this is oneshot for now but I may do more later. anyway Jesse goes to propose, and notices an exceedingly erm INTERESTING pad of paper...hee hee funny fluff! T 4 minor swearing.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,557 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/16/2006 - Complete
How to Write a Fan Fiction by Harry Potter and co by Susan B reviews
Have you ever wondered how to write the perfect fan fiction? Here it is, laid out for you by Harry and the gang.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,808 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/2/2005 - Published: 10/3/2004 - Harry P.
A Game Called Truth Or Dare by Renee Anime reviews
What happens when the gang decides to play truth or dare. A short but humorous fanfic where feelings are later revealed.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/27/2005 - Published: 7/25/2005
Isn't he dead yet? by Kloudy Reignfall reviews
James and Sirius are reunited at the gates of Heaven. ...But isn't there someone important missing? They eventually begin to wonder if their dear friend Remus is ever going to die. Slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,331 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/21/2005 - Published: 8/23/2004 - Sirius B., James P.
Something Catchy by maritinkerbell reviews
Suze goes to NY to visit Gina. Meanwhile, funny things start to happen back home... Set after Twilight. Chapter 6 done. Please R&R!
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,624 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/22/2005 - Published: 2/15/2005
SHOCK! by LolliliciousLolly reviews
A collection of Lolly's insanity. DON'T READ unless you're well on the way to losing it, yourself. Slashy humour, foot fetishes, murder-by-pillow...and Fabio. What more could you want? (Title change. Suits it better, hehe.)
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,142 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/21/2005 - Published: 3/2/2005
An Ode to the Shippers by QuidditchMoke reviews
A poem dedicated to all us shippers in the Harry Potter world. Hats off to all of you. Of course, this is MY opinion of the ships...oh, well, just R&R, eh?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,024 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/15/2005 - Published: 11/23/2004
A Fool's Dream by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Can you love a fool, Susannah? [One Shot, Jesse's POV. Written for the JESSE POV competition on the MCBC]
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,178 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/13/2005 - Complete
All Your Muffin Are Belong to Us by D-chi reviews
This is a bizarre, short little story about Cats visiting the planet of Muffin.
Zero Wing - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 512 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/12/2005
THE REALM by QuidditchMoke reviews
Suze doesn't want Jesse to leave, and she's doing all she can to prevent it. But when an unexpected ghost comes to visit her, Paul's constant attempts to break the two of them up are seen in a whole new light...CHAPTER NINE UP!
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,049 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/16/2005 - Published: 6/10/2004
The Lion Who Became King with Help From a Hyena by Sulkie Wolfen reviews
Spoof on The Lion King. Why must I even dignify this with a summary? DISCONTINUED.
Lion King - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,461 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/23/2005 - Published: 12/6/2004 - Complete
Ouch! Now I KNOW that's not supposed to go there! by Beevle reviews
One-shot. I wrote this before Twilight came out, and as a challenge that had to include the line, "Ouch! Now I KNOW that's not supposed to go there!". Very random.
Mediator - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 811 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2005 - Complete
Tragedy by SweetestReject reviews
This fic deals with the serious issue of gun violence and school shootings.
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Angst/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,620 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/5/2005 - Published: 12/14/2004 - Complete
The Knee Trembler by Lux Aeterna reviews
Hermione discovers that after a night of spectacular drunkeness she's pregnant with Draco's child. Witness the horror of well... everyone, count the number of people who pass out and behold the amusement of everybody else! Rated R for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,793 - Reviews: 554 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/20/2004 - Published: 4/24/2003 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Deprived by Sulkie Wolfen reviews
Poor, poor Banzai. DISCONTINUED, first fic ever I'm so embarrassed...
Lion King - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,989 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 12/11/2004 - Published: 12/6/2004 - Complete
Fate Worse Than Death by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Alternate ending to Haunted. My entry for the Heartbreak competition on the Meg Cabot site. This is kind of sad. Aww, poor Suze. Let's all give her little fictional butt a hug... Awwwwww. [Oneshot]
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,698 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/9/2004 - Complete
The Day Adam Went Crazy by Earwen of the Elves reviews
Parody of "The Night Santa Went Crazy" by Weird Al. Written for the MCBC Mediator Chistmas Parody contest. Adam is tired of feeling just as comic relief and wishes people paid more attention. The way he gets the attention though, is questionable. Rate
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/6/2004
Sin by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Lust is a traitorous thing. Jesse left, and Susannah's vulnerability is at Paul's mercy. [Poem, VERY HOT.]
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 505 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 17 - Published: 11/15/2004 - Complete
A Stupid, Eccentric, Freaky Poem I Wrote at 3AM by LolliliciousLolly reviews
Don’t bother reading, if you're short of patience. This has no point. No beginning, middle, end. It’s not even funny. I just needed to write it. It’s so sad, and cheesy, it will leave you all braindead. I'm glad I got that off my chest. FOOLS!
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,291 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/16/2004
La Mentira by Clavel reviews
AU The Lie Set in 1852, Jesse and Suze were in love. Then someone told them certain lies that pulled them apart. Now they are pushed together again, and the truth shall see the light
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,209 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/14/2004 - Published: 8/26/2004 - Complete
Possessed by LolliliciousLolly reviews
When Jesse leaves, Suze learns what it's truly like to kiss Paul Slater... Oooh, that sounded corny. My bad. Lolly's response to the Kissing Paul Slater competition on the Meg Cabot site. [Oneshot]
Mediator - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,753 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/13/2004 - Complete
Thoughts inside by Pens in potatoes reviews
In Jesse's POV. He talks about his feeling for Suze and how they can't really be together. As he thinks all of this, he is sitting on the window seat watching her sleep.
Mediator - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2004
True Happiness by SweetestReject reviews
COMPLETE! What's behind those doors in the Shadowland? FOR FANS OF JS!
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,459 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/18/2004 - Complete
What's A Girl To Do? by SweetestReject reviews
COMPLETE! FOR FANS OF PS! Jesse and Paul both go to the mission...Jesse is alive, and things get dicey when all three are stuck in the mission overnight thanks to a hell-bent ghost...Better summary on the first page, so read that please!
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,729 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 10 - Updated: 7/17/2004 - Published: 7/5/2004 - Complete
MiniMediator by SweetestReject reviews
COMPLETE FOR NOW! Sequel to Miracle at 99 Pine Crest, which is the sequel to Hypnotized By Evil...I have no actual plot yet, it's just about Suze and Jesse being married, and having kids for now. Keep reading thought, it won't be horrible, I hope!
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,901 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/8/2004 - Published: 6/28/2004 - Complete
Miracle At 99 Pine Crest by SweetestReject reviews
COMPLETE! Sequel to Hypnotised By Evil...Something miraculous has happened to Jesse! But will Paul find a way to ruin it? YOU BET!
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,523 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/26/2004 - Published: 6/20/2004 - Complete
Hypnotised By Evil by SweetestReject reviews
COMPLETE: Paul has managed to hypnotise Suze into thinking that's he the good guy, and Jesse is the one using her to get his life back. Will Jesse be able to save her before Paul has Suze exorcise him? Rated R 4 fluff...how serious, well read to find out
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,854 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/18/2004 - Published: 6/12/2004 - Complete
Never The Normality by Delilah Wigglesworth reviews
FINISHED SO STOP ASKING ME TO UPDATE, FOOLS When two new ghosts arrive on the scene, the PaulSuzeJesse love triangle gets bigger and more dangerous
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,878 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/15/2004 - Published: 4/12/2004 - Complete
Lessons Learned From The Mediator by Lita Pern reviews
Lessons we've learned from Suze, including how to get those darned broken bones to snap back into place (just twist and flck.)
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 351 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/20/2004
Wake Me Up In The Morning by Lita Pern reviews
Now a 1800WhereRU crossover. Rated so for my constant use of h311 and d4n
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,809 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/20/2004 - Published: 10/24/2003
His Eyes by bleeckerstreet12345 reviews
Heartbreak. It’s just an expression right? Because scientifically it can’t happen.I mean your heart can't actually break...
Mediator - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,189 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2004
An Unexpected Day by Chief Salem reviews
Snape is in a cheerleading outfit, Draco is ubsessed with green umbrellas, Hermione marries a pickle, Evil Cherry Poptarts try to take over the world, but only one team can stop them..........We're doomed
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,205 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/30/2003
Things You'll Never Hear in the Mediator Series by Lita Pern reviews
Read teh title. Oh yeah, rated PG13 because of slashy humor and a little bit of implied cussing. Nothing too bad.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/30/2003
Angel Wings by bunny girl1 reviews
*COMPLETE* Sequel to Sleepless in California. It's been two years, and Suze has started to forget that fateful incident where she nearly lost Jesse. But what happens when that ancient demon prophecy starts coming true...
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 32,861 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/15/2003 - Published: 5/4/2003 - Complete
Squicktastic! by Altaria Volante reviews
What happens when the characters in your story don't want to cooperate? And why am I not surprised that it was Fred and George Weasley...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,929 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/30/2003 - Published: 2/12/2003 - George W.
Sleepless in California by bunny girl1 reviews
*COMPLETE!!!* Ancient prophecies...deranged mediators...Jesse...need I say more? PLEASE R+R!!!!
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,223 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/27/2003 - Published: 1/10/2003 - Complete
Letters to Santa by Bennybunny reviews
Characters from Harry Potter write their letters to Santa. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,484 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/21/2002 - Complete
Jesse's Story by InvaderPixy reviews
This is the first book through the eyes of Jesse. We may learn a bit about his past too...PG-13 for later chpters. This chapter should be onl PG, though.
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,997 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/22/2001
Cinderharry by InvaderPixy reviews
This is just about the best story I've ever written . . . or at least the best comedy. It's PG-13 for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/28/2001
The Real Harry Potter by Michelle Riddle reviews
Have u ever wondered what it would be like if Harry were an Eminem wannabe? Well find out! This is a parody of Eminem's The Real Slim Shady. Reviews welcome!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,417 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/9/2000
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Betrayal reviews
HEY GUYS, I ACTUALLY POSTED THE ENDING AFTER LIKE A DECADE. The only person Gaia could always trust has just betrayed her. Don't bash 'till you've read the end.
Fearless - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,035 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/6/2013 - Published: 12/26/2005 - Complete
fRubber Duck reviews
For the Muggle Studies lesson on r/Harry Potter. What is the function of a rubber duck?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 957 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/5/2011 - Charity B., OC - Complete
Fantastic reviews
My entrance into Lolly's Testosterone Poisoning challenge. So called because it's been my fantasy since I was little. Well, different definitions of 'little'. Basically bizarre wish fulfillment. Rated T... just in case. One-shot. Did I leave anything out?
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,461 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/27/2008 - Complete
Doctor Suze Ten Years in the Future! reviews
Ten years after the boox, suze is a psychologist! she makes some friends, and now... in walks PAUL! some OCs but mostly real chars. TURNING IN2 A DRAMA! r8ing 4 kissing, some suggestion, and violence.
Mediator - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 60,201 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/8/2006 - Published: 8/11/2004
Flashlight Alternate reviews
THIS IS AN ALTERNATE THINGY 2 FLASHLIGHT. suze tells ALL to jesse! DO NOT READ TILL AFTER CHAPPER 8 OF FLASHLIGHT. this did not ahppen, but i have permission 2 post it.
Mediator - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,427 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/14/2005 - Complete