Cazcatharsis
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Joined 08-04-04, id: 646920, Profile Updated: 06-13-12
Author has written 7 stories for Hellboy, Pitch Black / Riddick, and Transformers.

I'm the bitch who always forgets to log in and signs her reviews "Caz"... or when i'm especially lazy, "C". LOL

Lemme think. I'm a 33 year old Ex-Automotive Tech/Meteorologist/English/Medieval History Major. working as a Desk Monkey for a Bakery. Has attention span of a goldfish, obviously. Uses short choppy sentences out of pure laziness. Periodically gets obsessed with movie characters and tries to write about em, or reads all fiction I can get my dirty paws on.

I also DJ on an internet radio station called HardWiredRadio as DJ Traumahawk. I play everything from Blues to hard Industrial for an hour or so a week. I'm on twitter as well as DJTraumahawk. That, and I play an unhealthy amount of Halo:Reach and Left 4 Dead online

Most of my fics start at 3 in the morning on napkins I bum off the bartender (who always give me strange looks) and grow from there. Scenerios play in my head like movies when I go to sleep and those thoughts almost always end up in a story somewhere. Hell, all my stories have soundtracks.

I write for fun so if I don't have my facts perfect, well, I do minimal research. If I wanted to do research I'd still be a Medieval Lit major. My concern is with telling a good goofy story and getting it the fuck out of my head. Heh.

Don't like it, don't read it, that's my philosophy. Fiction is my release. Leave your snottyness at the door, kick back and let the movie play out. I'll leave the serious fic for the talented writers, I just like watching things go Boom.

Peace, Love and Fry Bread Grease!

PS : In regards to Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration and the sequel(s)... NO, the Twins, Bluestreak nor Prowl will not be in it. Why? OVERUSE. Frankly I'm sick of em. There's a few gems out there featuring these three but they're in EVERYTHING. They're the Samuel Jackson of TF Fanfic! that, and I think Lambos are fugly. They look like electric shavers, to coin a phrase from Sin City... If I did write em I'd make em Lotus or Ferrari.

oh. and I don't write slash. Or Porn. Not that I don't like it, I just completely lack the ability. too fucking shy. hahaha

-watches readers run-

Caz

RIP Koko Taylor, Queen of the Blues 1928-2009

final PS:

Okay, I'm so completely and utterly sick of seeing authors write "Review or I won't write anymore." and it's variations. As soon as I see that crap I stop reading the story altogether. I hate ultimatums, cries for attention, and review whores. It's a pet peeve of mine, sorry but if you are one of those authors, STOP IT. Right now. If you're writing just so people grovel at your feet for more, get out of the 'business'. Write for fun, write because it's a creative release, write so you can see your favorite characters do groovy things, but DON'T write if all you want is people fawning all over you. Because, in all likelihood, if you're begging for reviews, you're not that good a writer.

That said, if you want HELP, ask for HELP. Ask for CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. What that means to me is that you actually want help to improve your writing, story telling, grammar, etc, and are willing to hear people who want to help.

Hell, even ask for reviews cause they give you a boost, and you like to hear from your readers! If I like your story, I will review it. And probably fangirl a little. (heh). But as soon as you give me an ultimatum, you can pretty much rot.

Sorry, I'm blunt that way.

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Rebirth of Honor by Khalthar reviews
Movie verse:What will happen when Barricade finds out that the reason he joined the Decepticons was based on a false assumption? OC has bad mouth, and plot demons are tyin to KILL me! This is gonna be a LONG one.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 162,426 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 6/9 - Published: 3/29/2008
Thorin the Wanderer by Empress of Cornwall reviews
This is a Non Canonical piece inspired by Peter Jackson's 2012 film and Richard Armitage's interpretation of a certain disenfranchised Warrior Prince from the Lonely Mountain in Erebor...
Hobbit - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,249 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 9/8/2014 - Published: 1/8/2013 - Thorin
A Blessing and A Curse by Quetzal1 reviews
G1 post animated movie. A freshly minted Decepticon learns that a whole lot can change while you're stuck in stasis and maybe stasis was the better option.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 61 - Words: 268,925 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 6/13/2014 - Published: 1/11/2008
A Universal Concept by April Raven Girl reviews
What is love? Is it an instinct? An emotion? Or an ability that can transcend species? After eons of conflict, the war-weary Autobots have a new home, a new life, and a chance for something more. And for a single Decepticon, a chance for salvation.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,965 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 5/2/2014 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Jazz, Maggie M.
The Toymaker and the Widow by cellostargalactica reviews
"He whittles for the widow and her child; his sweet, sad widow," said Bombur smugly. "How is she his widow if he's still alive?" Bilbo wondered. "Because she's not my widow," Bofur cut in. "She's a widow. I have no claim to her, or anyone."
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 120,420 - Reviews: 645 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 3/20/2014 - Published: 12/26/2012 - Bofur
At your service by cecania13 reviews
A collection of smutty one-shots involving mostly the line of Durin but possibly anyone who tickles my fancy.
Hobbit - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 27 - Words: 105,442 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 447 - Follows: 391 - Updated: 2/5/2014 - Published: 2/7/2013 - Thorin - Complete
Thrill of the Hunt by Wide Spread Panic reviews
Mech x human OC rated for lang., sexual content, and violence. It started as a simple wager. All he had to do was get a kiss... from a human female. It shouldn't have been that hard, but fate had other plans. Now oneshots with various TFs. Mecha/F smut.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 97,477 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 236 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 1/30/2014 - Published: 2/25/2011 - Trailbreaker, Soundwave
Only Movement by Black Ankle reviews
Three species are caught into the fanatical hands of a brilliant scientist. When the depths of human depravity blends with sincere intent for good, where can hope be found? Can two species cooperate long enough to survive?
Aliens/Predator - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 58,457 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/18/2013 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Enjoy The Silence by livingdeadgirl616 reviews
AU Six years after The Battle of the Five Armies, Thorin and fem!Bilbo go back to the Shire that shunned her long ago to show off their family.
Hobbit - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,276 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 549 - Follows: 98 - Published: 5/13/2013 - Thorin, Bilbo B. - Complete
Cantabile by iratepirate and Taipan Kiryu reviews
G1. Soundwave’s life takes an unexpected twist when Megatron gives him a female Autobot as his personal slave.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 54 - Words: 215,143 - Reviews: 1058 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 360 - Updated: 2/23/2013 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Soundwave
Ozone: The Xenophilia Edition by femme4jack reviews
The AllSpark and Matrix had many unsupervised years on Earth. What if the energies that are the source of both artifacts knew that the Cube would be destroyed? Life finds a way to go on. Perhaps our species are more related than we thought. Xenophilia.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,517 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Mikaela B., Optimus Prime
Thin Blue Line by emberlotus reviews
A Tranquility police officer finds herself in the middle of the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons. Her unexpected guardian is prepared to protect her at all costs from both sides, as she becomes more important than either side realizes.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 133,183 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 1/19/2012 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Barricade
A Long Road by Merisel reviews
The Autobots' idyllic life on Earth comes to an end when Starscream returns with more Decepticons.AN This fic will contain occasional smut, violence, angst, character death, etc.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 204,101 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 11/2/2007
I love this Car by Soundwave 0107 reviews
Soundwave is having a lot of fun, to say the least. Two-shot, written for the LOLz XD Enjoy! :D Second chapter on popular demand
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,492 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/1/2011 - Published: 7/23/2011 - Soundwave, Carly M. - Complete
The Princess is in Another Castle by Bibliotecaria.D reviews
"Mikaela Banes is waiting."
Transformers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,342 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Mikaela B. - Complete
Faces of Need by The-Mighty-Third-Draft reviews
Broken hearted Mikaela opens up. Optimus takes care of his friends - all of them and what follows transforms Mikaela's world. Joining beyond sex. Healing beyond expectation. Optimus/Ratchet/Mikaela various.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 42,423 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 3/16/2011 - Optimus Prime, Mikaela B., Ratchet, Sam W.
Dawning by White Aster reviews
Jazz, Soundwave, a very personal favor, and tactical use of emoticons. Jazz reset his optics. "What, is snarking over IM some kind of Decepticon mating ritual I didn't know about?"
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,601 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 26 - Published: 6/7/2011 - Jazz, Soundwave - Complete
Pheromones by remuslives reviews
Claire's in college with the threat of Sylar looming over her. But what does he want? Sylar/Claire.
Heroes - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 28,877 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 1/21/2011 - Published: 11/17/2009 - Claire B., Sylar/Gabriel G. - Complete
In That Moment by Indigo Flare reviews
In one moment of weakness, he'd gone back on everything he'd ever promised her. One-shot. Post ROTF, NOT a pairing!
Transformers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,940 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Mikaela B., Ratchet - Complete
The Sum of Our Parts by Meiza reviews
Human friends of the Autobots have been turning up missing or dead. Several months later, new Decepticons have been appearing with disturbingly familiar personalities... mild slash
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 84,566 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 7/14/2010 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Raoul, Astoria
Morning Tea by Lola Hard reviews
*Jazz/Maggie; postmovie 2007* Jazz asked Maggie a question over a cup of tea. What will be her answer? One-shot continued!
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,202 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 11/29/2007 - Jazz, Maggie M.
Sweat by CMW2 reviews
Catherine/Warrick:There comes a time that a fantasy can become reality. Catherine and Warrick's time has come;Rated for lovemaking between them and some mild swear words; 20th in my 2010 SSS Project and my 40th posted story! Here's to at least 40 more!
CSI - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,515 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Catherine W., Warrick B. - Complete
The Unlikely Hero by Quetzal1 reviews
Because the Autobots should have at least one doofus on their team, too.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,844 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/25/2010 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Complete
Culture Shock by Conna Stevenson reviews
Innocent hazing and sneezes, harmless human traditions turned inside-out; their differences work in ways that leave everyone wondering just who's messing with who. Sam and Bumblebee wouldn't change a thing, though. Now a few one-shots.
Transformers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,565 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 5/17/2010 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Bumblebee, Sam W.
The Secret Lives of Decepticons by Ghost of the Dawn reviews
Takes place after "Autobot Files". Being a Decepticon isn't easy, but what do they do with themselves when they aren't fighting Autobots and trying to subjugate the population?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 59,539 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 5/10/2010 - Published: 2/22/2010 - Complete
Sylar is a Zombie by chocolatemoose713 reviews
Claire calls Sylar a zombie...just to annoy him.
Heroes - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Claire B., Sylar/Gabriel G. - Complete
Striking Distance by sherryatom reviews
Scar has returned for Lex and she is ready to follow where he leads---if her past will let her. Follows Solain Rhyo's "Solitary Trial". Complete.
Aliens/Predator - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,559 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 4/17/2010 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
First: Do No Harm by L. Mouse reviews
Ratchet meets Dr. House when alien nanytes are discovered in a critically injured Sam Witwicky's blood. The resulting critical mass of snark ends the universe as we know it.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,408 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 1/13/2010 - G. House, Ratchet
Didjerry by dfastback68 reviews
Movieverse 07: Music doesn't always come from instruments. Maggie/Jazz.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,601 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Jazz, Maggie M. - Complete
Hit and Run by MakeACircuitWithMe reviews
When you live with the Autobots, you'd better be ready for the ride of your life! **WARNING! Contains graphic scenes of human x mech sex. Don't like - don't click! ***PLEASE READ & REVIEW - I'LL MAKE MORE IF YOU LIKE IT*** Sideswipe X Human OC, Wheeljack
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,312 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/7/2009 - Sideswipe - Complete
Simulacra by Sakon76 reviews
Despite having Bumblebee as a protector, Sam is still vulnerable to Decepticon attack within the halls of his university. Steps are taken to minimize this. Follows on from The Language of After
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,233 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Sam W. - Complete
Wishful Thinking by Oponn reviews
When two people think about something so much, can they make it happen?
Heroes - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 45,155 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Sylar/Gabriel G., Claire B. - Complete
In Reverse by Sheena Marie reviews
They had been feared enemies. Now all one had to do was utter one word. One simple little, single syllable word... 2007 Movieverse. Ironhide, Sam, Constructicons
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 940 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Complete
Never Underestimate a Medic by Dragonseeker789 reviews
Megatron finds out that a medic can be far more dangerous than he thought; in fact they can be downright devious, sneaky and underhand, it doesn’t pay to underestimate one, especially if he’s protecting a patient!
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,047 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/31/2008 - Complete
A Most Reluctant Noah by The Starhorse reviews
First it rained...and then it rained more...and then it just kept on raining...
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,548 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 16 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Complete
A Night With the Decepticons by iratepirate reviews
After Soundwave saves Skywarp during battle, the seeker, with the help of Starscream, Thundercracker and some energon 'homebrew', throw the stoic communications officer a little thankyou party. Rated T? Mild innuendo, and general drunkeness... Updated!
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,573 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11/15/2007 - Published: 9/30/2007
Number 16 by Merisel reviews
Inspired by Bumblebee, Ratchet decides to create his own holoform...with some help. This is a followup to the funny crackfic 'Summer Lovin' by Shadows Light Warning: This is NC17 Smut alert!
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,617 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/11/2007 - Complete
They're Made Out of Meat by Aayla Security reviews
[2007 Movieverse] After receiving Bumblebee's report, two Transformers decide to reevaluate their plans of immediately launching for the Earth.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,354 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 19 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

It's Dark, And We're Wearing Sunglasses reviews
My cubby-hole for those random drabble/fics that pop into my head, challenge replies, etc etc etc. Not related to OLOBA. Ratings Vary, as do Plots and characters. Reader Beware.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,263 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/29/2011 - Published: 8/30/2009
OLOBA: The Light Was Yellow, Sir reviews
The Banes sisters and their giant robot guardian fight against the everyday crap, Decepticons, and an unknown human enemy. Life's little kicks in the ass start getting painful. Nothing to do but kick back.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 104,289 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Frenzy, Jazz
A Match Made in Hell reviews
2007movieverse: drabbles: The newest addition to the Decepticon team has Frenzy acting... well, normal... much to the chagrin and amusement of the guys. Warning for cussing and implied smexings between spastic bots
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,082 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 12/11/2007 - Frenzy, Blackout
Three Orange Whips reviews
yeah, the damn song meme. Rated for lots of bad language and semi-SC, angst, bad humour and oocness. Beware my horrid drabblage. I needed the practice.
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,026 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/24/2008 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Complete
Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration reviews
07verse: Two girls and one fine freakin' Pontiac. How does one balance everyday crisis with daily meetings with alien mechs and stay sane? Now with 27% more ninjas!
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 62,619 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Barricade, Mikaela B. - Complete
The Rabbit Hole reviews
Two young girls stumble into a world much different than the one their used to. An outsider's view of the BPRD world and the mysteries of both. Get's a little nasty. WIP
Hellboy - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 67,846 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/8/2005 - Published: 8/11/2004
RainDancer reviews
An AU fic about what may have happened post Pitch Black, from the planet escape on... gets violent, written before TCOR in 2002. WIP
Pitch Black / Riddick - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,331 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/4/2005 - Published: 9/21/2004