Nimrochan
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Joined 08-17-04, id: 654657, Profile Updated: 04-05-14
Author has written 9 stories for Anime X-overs, Yu-Gi-Oh, Teen Titans, Pokémon, Harry Potter, Fullmetal Alchemist, Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人, Twilight, and Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club.

This quote I found on Wiki amused me.

Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.

—Lev Grossman, TIME, July 18, 2011

"FULLMETAL LOL" HAS OFFICIALLY MADE IT TO TVTROPES:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/FullmetalLol?from=Main.FullmetalLol

Thank you to CelticKawaii for the awesome tropes listed, and anyone else who might have added :D

Also-

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanficRecs/FullMetalAlchemist

Thank you to eyeheartturtles for the amazing recommendation :D

ALSO I AM ON TEH TUMBLS

http://nimrochan.tumblr.com/

AND DEVIANTART

http://chibesque.deviantart.com/

AND ALSO VAGUELY PUTTING TOGETHER A ZAZZLE ACCOUNT (IT'S PATHETIC RIGHT NOW BUT GO LOOK AT IT ANYWAY):

http://www.zazzle.com/chibesque

ABOUT ME

I'm just your average, boring office worker with an overactive imagination who lets out all her crazy in the form of crack fiction and chibi doodles.

Age: Too old to be on this website.

(okay I'm 23)

Gender: Of the feminine kind.

Location: Desk

Blood Type: Coffee

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Leafy

Height: Shorter than Ed

Likes: Dishwashing detergent

Dislikes: Puppies. They’re manipulative.

Hobbies: Pretending to be Wonder Woman while hitting people with stale baguettes. Also writing back to readers who took the time to review :3

I...completely forgot I had an account on this thing.

Anyway, I call myself Nimrochan, and I used to write what I like to call "crack-fanfiction" in high school whenever I was bored. Now, I'm working full time, and I have far better things I should be doing.

But writing crack-fics is too much fun 8D

PROFILE UPDATE

I realized I should probably put more information about myself.

UM...Boy I'm terrible at this... I live in the U.S in a hot place where there's not much to do. Well there's the beach but I'm pale as an albino monitor lizard (hence general avoidance of the sun, though I do go on occasion when I have 8 gallons of sunscreen on hand). I have also lived in Israel and Japan (random, much?)

I hate snow

I'm a full-blown nerd; I prefer watching hours of anime to pretty much anything else (though recently I've discovered the awesomeness of Star Trek. But I like other shows too). I also like reading. I'm too lazy to list all the shows, movies, anime, and books that I like but they're all really good.

I despise Twilight with every fiber of my being.

And yes, I read it (I had no choice- it was an 11 hour flight and I had finished my other book. Just to illustrate, that other book was "Memoirs of a Geisha." Imagine eating cookie dough cheesecake of the finest quality, and then eating a fish that's been lying dead in the sun for three days. That's what it felt like to read those two books in a row like that.)

I'm also not fond of when people insist on showing me youtube videos of cats. For some reason I've met an alarming number of people who do this to me.

But I will admit that I love videos of turtles eating for some reason...

Ahem*

And finally, the thing I hate the most, more so than snow, Twilight, and cat videos combined, is reality television. More specifically, shows involving cameras following bitchy rich women around. I can't even find ways to make fun of reality television. It's just...nothingness.

Anyway, I also enjoy swimming (on cloudy days), writing (normally I work in secret on my own original stuff, but I've recently floated back here due to my obsession with FMA and ideas for its crackfic parody xD), and drawing (I've been drawing for about five years but so far can only draw chibis. Which I'm very good at). I can also speak beginner/intermediate Hebrew and Japanese.

My parents divorced when I was very young. I think that's why I love cartoons so much.

In real life I'm actually much more shy and quiet than I am on the Internet. I guess I like the anonymity of it. But I do try to always be nice, be it on the Internet or real life. Additionally, I'm a very lazy, do-it-tomorrow kind of person. I mean, it will get done. Just not today.

I am also a hypochondriac. That is why I swore off Webmd and watching "House." I'm quite happy with that decision.

Like many people, I love animals. Except for hamsters, they creep me out. At one point I had considered being a vet, but the idea was dismissed after remembering how lazy I am with intense studies.

Crackfiction and chibis are my only talents. I suppose my original writing is good too, but I can't really know since I don't generally let people read any of it *self-conscious*

My dreams are very big and include many things. I like traveling a lot, so maybe I'll get into international business and continue to learn languages. On the other hand, I like creating things and entertaining people, so I'd also like to maybe be a producer or writer and get into movies/TV shows. I've also considered being a plumber at one point (I have many good reasons for this: little job competition, good pay, people will always need plumbers hence there will always be work, I enjoy fixing things, Mario is a plumber, etc.) My ultimate dream is to be a mangaka (manga artist), but lack of professional drawing abilities, lack of fluency in Japanese, and being lazy in general would probably hinder that. Hey I'm a realist, what can I say.

I'll eventually post up a link to a website with the chibis...I have a domain name and nothing else. I don't know anything about creating websites so if anyone else here can help me take the next step it would be greatly appreciated :D

Also, I'll eventually post links to websites with pictures from Israel and Japan. They're awesomeness

WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME

I collect weird mugs and notebooks

The sound of my laughter is that of a dying hyena

I have a severe phobia of bees

I have spent literally years of my life getting my Gollum impersonation down to an eerie perfection

I am a pessimist who tries to make all the decisions of an optimist

I hate zombie movies but love zombie video games for some reason

(EDIT: Zombieland is win)

I love birds

I have a scar on my left wrist from when I burned myself making Mac N' Cheese

I don't like apples

English is not my first language

I almost got arrested for sneaking into a school auditorium after hours so I could watch anime on a big screen

I made that last part up

Or maybe I didn't

I was once accidentally exposed to pepper spray

All my friends are taller than me

All of them

Some freakishly so

A lot of people tell me that Japan and China are "the same thing" even after I've explained that I've STUDIED both cultures

Yes they will argue with me

I once handled a Gila monster

It was awesome

CGI babies and dancing animals seriously creep me out

I like Glee songs but I don't watch Glee

I'm slowly starving to death because I'm so broke

I still laugh at Looney Tunes. Like, really hard.

I hate crappy remakes, including and especially the new Looney Tunes show

I once worked at a petshop

I believe that if Satan exists, his tool is the printer

I failed high school Algebra

I then studied accounting

I am a 90's chick. I listen to Nirvana and watch old Warner Bros. cartoons, Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z are among my first anime, and I got my first cell phone at 16 and my first laptop at 18.

I like being a 90's chick.

I own a fedora

I didn't learn how to bike until I was twenty

I have a scar on my left knee from when I crashed my bike after a bee flew in my face... at age twenty

I am of that generation of Harry Potter readers who literally grew up with the characters, and waited til the midnight releases of the last three books

I don't know if I'll ever love anything more than I do Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist

(Edit: GAME OF F*ING THRONES)

(Well I don't love GoT more than those last two, but it's up there with them)

I cuss like a sailor whenever I play video games

Eating pork creeps me out, so I don't do it, but I do enjoy octopus, squid, and eel

Pointlessy stupid and ironic things happen to me all the time

I think it's why I hate sitcom humor so much

I sometimes experience sleep paralysis

(Look it up, it's freaky)

Bad horror movies are my guilty pleasure

I look exactly the same as I did ten years ago and it really freaks people out

My handwriting makes my English teachers cry

I think that the "Major Boobage" episode of South Park was the funniest 23 minutes of my life

My fingertips get so cold that sometimes my touchscreen doesn't work for me

My handwriting makes me cry

Sometimes I get so bored I narrate my life out-loud

My hips are double-jointed

Most of my cell phone photos are of baked goods and weird bugs I find

If I where a witch, I'd be a Gryffindor

And my Patronus would be a Star-Bellied Sneetch

And I wouldn't ever actually see said Patronus because I'd be a Squib

Why did they let me be a Gryffindor if I'm a Squib?

People tell me that I always look frustrated or angry

But honestly my face is just like that

I like learning things, but I usually forget what I learned a week later at the most

I can't stop adding things to this profile

I find assembling IKEA furniture strangely therapeutic

I'm so pale I'm see-through

I can't cook

I have a scar on my right leg from when my roommate's laundry pile became self-aware and attacked me

I despise computer animation

A lot

(EDIT: I loved Tangled. Questioning everything.)

I didn't graduate college in time despite my awesome grades

I argue with commercials

I argue with books

I sometimes wish I had a tail

MY BUCKET LIST- things I want to do while I'm alive

Be a zombie extra in a zombie movie

Publish something. Anything.

Make an abridged series (so far all of my ideas are terrible)

Get over my fear of bees

Adopt a puppy

Invent a soda

Travel all of Asia

Watch all the anime on my hard drive

Meet Hiromu Arakawa and Shinichiro Watanabe

MY NICKNAMES that were assigned to me without my consent

Doris

Chibichan

Dodobird

Funsized

Jellybean

Midget

Tiny Thing

Nimsy

Kofujoshi Hetakunoichi (Little nasty woman, Unskilled female ninja)

Waterbug

Mac N' Cheese

Armrest

THINGS THAT INSPIRE MY CRACK WRITING

As you may know, I love writing humor. I especially enjoy parodying stories I love, and completely messing with the characters while destroying what made those stories great. It amuses me.

I suck at writing anything else, especially romance and horror. All the same things can make one swoon or be terrified or sad, etc., hence it's hard to make certain things fresh/new, in my opinion anyway. On the other hand, there are a million and five things out there that can be funny. These following things inspire me (I try to pick from a wide variety of inspiration):

American:

South Park

Futurama

The Simpsons

Venture Brothers

Family Guy

Ugly Americans

Robot Chicken

Looney Tunes

Seinfeld (it's old yes, but it has some pretty decent dysfunction)

Curb Your Enthusiasm (same dysfunction as Seinfeld but it's more vulgar. Which I'm totally okay with)

Married with Children

Malcolm in the Middle

30 Rock

Community

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Catch-22

The Oblongs

Harold and Kumar

Eurotrip (it's actually WAAYYY funnier than you'd think)

Rat Race (because Mr. Bean was in it)

Galaxy Quest

Dethklok

British:

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Good Omens

Monty Python

Little Britain

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (that counts as British, right?)

Japanese:

Oh where to begin. All that weird, surreal, slapstick humor found in anime…xD

I guess my biggest inspiration here is Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, which I'm fairly certain was made by force-feeding acid to the characters and setting all the story boards on fire.

(EDIT and also Excel Saga and Gintama. I only started watching those but yeah. Epic.)

STUFF IN THE WORKS:

I'm currently working on some experimental crack parodies:

1) A Samurai Champloo parody, in which the the trio searches for "the man who smells of Glade," with Jin and Mugen escaping from amusingly dark pasts.

2) An LOTR parody, in which they must destroy "the one iPhone/iPad."

3) A Naruto parody, in which Naruto is possessed by a great and evil radish.

4) A Harry Potter parody, in which all the characters are bats*t OOC.

5) A Death Note parody, in which Light is just really stupid.

Suggestions welcome! Just don't take offense if I don't end up going with them ''

The Fullmetal Alchemist crack parody takes priority over any other fic, of course. I try to update monthly but sometimes it may take longer due to work and studies.

Anything else I have here was written YEARS ago, and I wasn't as good a writer then (but they still got very decent reviews, and I still like them a whole lot, so feel free to check them out! _)

AND YET MORE AWESOMEY AWESOME STUFF

If anyone enjoyed the Teen Titans fic I wrote a few years ago, please check out this audio book of the first three chapters by Millie a.k.a. Assassinating:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/0Yh_x6AF/Teen1.html

And if you enjoyed that, here's the next three:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/OSd7YsIL/tenn.html

She's a very talented voice actress and artist, check out her website:

www.millielui.blogspot.com

ALSO- For those who enjoy Fullmetal Lol, here is the first scene done in flipnote animation by strawberries up the butt a.k.a. s.u.u.b:

(aw it's been since taken down... oh well.)

And here's her Flipnote Hatena profile, she has some Vampire Knight and Bleach stuff and others, all done in an awesome style :3

http://flipnote.hatena.com/51B02D001E417A07@DSi/movie/417A07_09F6A4EFD5798_010?in=user

Again, I need help building a website! I have only the domain name! Any help with it welcomed! :D

Feel free to PM me about fandoms and writings and such!

"Now… If you trust in yourself… And believe in your dreams… And follow your star… You’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy."

Miss Tick, The Wee Free Men

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

51 Tints of Granite by Bristol Fashion reviews
MAJOR SATIRE! This is a parody of the first book so a sense of humor and/or dislike of the book is needed to enjoy this story!
Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,458 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 8/11/2012 - Published: 5/1/2012 - Anastasia S., Christian G.
The Founders' Heir by Renatus reviews
Pre HBP. Days before his sixteenth birthday, Harry Potter disappears in a blaze of fire and magic. When he returns, few recognize him for who he is. He's out for Voldemort, as per the Task the Founders' set to him. And he isn't about to fail.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 142,276 - Reviews: 3505 - Favs: 3,894 - Follows: 3,848 - Updated: 1/19/2012 - Published: 4/27/2005 - Harry P.
333 and More Ways to Get Kicked Out of HQ by iTorchic reviews
Have you heard of the '333 ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart? Well, here's an FMA twist on it with the whole cast! It's manga and 1st anime based. Rated: T. This is just to get rid of writers block and supress my boredom. XD COMPLETE CRACK.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 57 - Words: 28,427 - Reviews: 1755 - Favs: 686 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 5/12/2011 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Complete
Mere Mortals by deanine reviews
The Lost - Genesis - When a Galactic Empire comes seeking the last Kryptonian, Clark's life changes forever. Will he survive the coming trials, and will he be able to protect his family along the way? AU Book 2 complete!
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 173,087 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 7/26/2002 - Clark K./Superman, Chloe S. - Complete
Pokémists: Pocket Alchemists by Zilo Sugarpill reviews
It’s back! What if FMA was re-made for Pokémon’s audience? Worse still, what if FMA's original plot was scrapped for Pokémon's? Will Ed and his Pokémist Al thwart Team Homo's evil plans? Will Winry get a new bike? Will Ed ever be able to swear again?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,888 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 3/15/2010 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Edward E., Alphonse E.
The Passion of Hate and Love by Callisto Callispi reviews
[WIP] It all started when they blew up Gryffindor's quidditch stands and were forced to serve a heinously long detention sentence...together! But it all got interesting thereafter. Hermione & Draco.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 145,355 - Reviews: 1257 - Favs: 1,140 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 4/18/2006 - Published: 12/20/2001 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Dakaath: Prince of Darkness by LT2000 reviews
Pre!HBP AU, Dark!Harry. A mysterious summons brings Harry to Gringotts, where he learns of his true heritage as a dakaath, a demonic parallel of the veela, and of his destiny as the heir of Lord Grindelwald. HarryCho, HarryFem!OC. No slash. Discontinued.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 30 - Words: 220,536 - Reviews: 2405 - Favs: 2,007 - Follows: 1,151 - Updated: 3/15/2006 - Published: 1/21/2005 - Harry P., Cho C.
All's Fair by Sputz reviews
Bored with post-Voldemort life, Harry and Draco begin a very interesting game... Slashy fun!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,987 - Reviews: 865 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 2/23/2006 - Published: 10/24/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
The Untitled Cheekquel Project by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. [Sequel to Where in the World is Harry Potter?] Now that Harry has been found, he's going to teach DADA at Hogwarts again for the first time. Will he change and grow as a person? Will he find love? Enh... doubtful.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 69,193 - Reviews: 986 - Favs: 1,400 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 8/29/2005 - Published: 7/9/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Me, Myself, and I by EmySabath reviews
Harry has had a hard life, harder than anyone knows, even himself. What happens when Snape finds out that Harry's mind couldn't take the strain and fractured, leaving the BWL with MPD? PreHBP COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 65,691 - Reviews: 1504 - Favs: 2,119 - Follows: 422 - Updated: 8/5/2005 - Published: 2/15/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Anachronistic Adventures of Patch and Eddie by nonjon reviews
WIP. PostOotP. Harry gave his life to defeat Voldemort. So what should he do now? Hop through time with Dobby on some zany misadventures, of course. As if there really was an alternative.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,323 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 8/1/2005 - Published: 5/22/2005
Harry Potter and the Otherside by MaxFic reviews
AU. Picks up near the end of OotP. Harry saw Sirius fall into the veil after being stunned by Bellatrix Lestrange. What would happen if he ran in after him? No Pairings yet.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 39,720 - Reviews: 1003 - Favs: 1,202 - Follows: 1,324 - Updated: 5/13/2005 - Published: 2/23/2005 - Harry P.
Where in the World is Harry Potter? by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. PostOotP. Harry Potter fulfilled the prophecy and has since disappeared. Or has he? Tonks and Hermione are the lead Order members continuously hoping to track him down. The question is: can they keep up with him?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,625 - Reviews: 1014 - Favs: 2,602 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 4/30/2005 - Published: 4/16/2005 - Complete
I Want A Divorce! by Field of Insanity reviews
In which Lily and James are married under the forces of one insane Sirius Black. Marriage program theme. Revising in Progress
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,913 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/18/2004 - Published: 11/25/2004 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Harry Potter and the Department of Mysteries by kindra-chan reviews
A horrendus piece of poo two stupid girls threw together in a fit of drugged up hilarium. Concerns Harry and Malfoy (who speaks Spansih but doesn't) and Ron and Hermione. If you read this, you will die seven days later.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,248 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/15/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Shingeki no Puru reviews
Haruka Jaeger, like the rest of humanity, is forced to live the life of trapped prey as man-eating Titans roam the outside world. His dream is to one day kill all the Titans and swim all the waters of the world, including lava. He does not understand what lava is.
Crossover - Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 & Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,228 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 2/13 - Published: 7/20/2013
Fullmetal Lol reviews
Crackfic parody. Ed is constantly drunk, and Al is generally depressed. Yet both persevere in their quest to restore their bodies through the legendary Internet, a mythical power said to hold unimaginable forces. However, a hidden, stupid evil awaits...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 37 - Words: 102,012 - Reviews: 446 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 1/14 - Published: 3/9/2010
Hogwight reviews
What would our beloved boy wizard be like if Stephanie Meyer wrote Harry Potter? If your answer is anything other than "like someone giving me the plague," you will not enjoy this fic and should probably move on to the next summary. Thank you for your time.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 608 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/3/2012
Teen Titans vs Hurricane Cocoapuff reviews
(OLD WRITING PIECE I may eventually continue it) The sequel to Teen Titans vs. Hurricane Buttercup is finally here! Yipee! Will the Teen Titans adequately prepare for the storm, or are they doomed to madness yet again? Read and find out!
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 899 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/21/2005 - Published: 7/2/2005
If Matt Groening Created Harry Potter reviews
(OLD WRITING PIECE) Stupid & funny fic. Kind of a parody of the episode of The Simpsons when Sideshow Bob worked at the construction site, only it's Voldemort. Also, Hermione gets Mad Griffin Disease. Takes place during OOTP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,470 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/31/2005
The Teen Titans vs Hurricane Buttercup reviews
(OLD WRITING PIECE) The Teen Titans are trapped indoors for hours. Madness ensues. I guarantee you will laugh out loud at some point in this story. Warning: may cause you to fall off your chair laughing, as it did to one of my more unfortunate reviewers. I eat flamers.
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,081 - Reviews: 512 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/5/2005 - Published: 9/11/2004 - Complete
The Pokemon Conspiracy reviews
(OLD WRITING PIECE) Did you ever notice how similar all the Pokemon episodes are? If you're a Pokemon-lover, you'll love this. If you're a Pokemon-hater, you'll love this. PG just to be safe. Please don't sue.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/15/2004 - Published: 9/20/2004
Mokuba Gets Kidnapped reviews
(OLD WRITING PIECE) Um...Mokuba gets kidnapped.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/2/2004
Yugi States the Obvious reviews
(OLD WRITING PIECE) Dragon Ball Z & Yu-Gi-Oh. Short, stupid fic making fun of Yugi's annoying habit. Enjoy!
Anime X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/2/2004 - Complete
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