Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the Word...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle one of the characters for being so dumb copy and paste this to your profile.
Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile
If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever wished that you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.
If you're against animal cruelty then copy this into your profile!
If fanfiction shut down and you would go insane because of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen back in your chair before, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
TRANSFORMERS! IF YOU LIKE TRANSFORMERS COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!!
AUTOBOTS! If you are on the side of the righteous Autobots paste this onto your profile!
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx,Lillith Black, Darkness Sierra, AutobotGirl6, Whitedino, EVRyderWriter, BFSF,supergirlprime, Jazz1 Flynn, Iridian NightShade, warriorkat21, creepy-wolf, T'Reilani, youllbeinmyheart1997, DarkstarPrime, Riyappe Paws, Andromeda Alpha
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile :)
"The Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"The trouble with real life is that there's no background music."
"I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room."
" If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"
"If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost."
"OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric."
"I tend to think in simple, clear terms that are wrong."
"Yo-yo: an object occasionally up but normally down (See also: computer)."
"Beware of the letter "G." It is the end of everything."
"I do visit reality, although it's on a tourist visa."
"Flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is."
"Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win."
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door..."
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
"He learned what every man must learn...never insult a girl's looks, especially if said girl can kick your ass"
"I'm not awesome, you just suck."
"IT'S THE SUGAR TALKING, I SWEAR!"
"People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'."
"I never said I was normal... you just presumed I was."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone in the mouth.
Silence is golden... but shouting is fun!
Don't knock on Death's door; ring the bell and run- he hates that
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it!
Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls!
Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
I'm not as dumb as you look
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.
No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.
I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.
Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.
Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.
When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.
When all else fails, use duct tape.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."
"What's behind this door? -opens it- ...another door. Hilarious."
"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."
They locked you in?"
I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter.
I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?
Earth is full. Go home.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.
It's true, blonds do have more fun. But brunets remember it in the morning.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"Never memorize something that you can look up."
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
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