Author has written 1 story for Resident Evil.
Quotes that inspire me... Okay, not really... They're funny and random and kinda stupid... And you probably will be wondering 'what the fuck are you ON?' when you read through all of these... But who's counting! These are some of the best moments of my life and I will never let go of them.
"Everybody's liberal until they find out their kid's gay."
"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades."
"That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want."
"You're stuck in a Philadelphia aren't you? ""No, I'm stuck in a Detroit." "What's a Detroit?" "It's like death; without the benefits."
"My whole life is ruined because of the puffy shirt."
"If you watch local news, your head will turn to mush."
"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction."
"Some people have their Prozac..."
"Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were headed for shore."
"I never heard of a relationship being affected by punctuation."
"I have ADDD!"
"You can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter'!"
"You're going to be the first pirate."
"Some of those heckles were really uncalled for. 'Avast ye, matey" ? What the hell does that mean? 'Twenty degrees off the starboard side. It's a Spanish galleon.' There's no comeback for that."
"I should've gone in with him."
"I'd urinate myself right about... now."
"Jerry, where'd you find that sweater?"
"I am woman! Hear me roar! Meow."
"See you Monday, 9:00."
"Where AM I running?"
"Ha! Erin didn't eat the pickle and I don't have to go on the roller coaster!"
"Lizzy... We are SO sorry..."
"Away with the wallet!"
"Tub is love."
"I can taste your chap-stick."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Not to mention the picture of him on the toilet."
"When I own a bar, I won't charge people to pee in the bathrooms... But I will, however, charge them to do 'elsewhat'."
"Leave before the audience gets pissed off."
"God, you make me feel like a cheap hooker."
"Half silk, half cotton, half linen. How can you go wrong?"
"Okay, now start making out!"
"I am so fucking buzzed..."
"Where's the church?"
"Don't even question my instincts, because my instincts are honed. Look at that."
"Whatever happened to personal space bubbles?"
"Bitores honey, come in to dinner!"
"Now what did you learn in henchmen school?"
"One day you're going to read a news article about my hair eating a small child. And when I get my picture taken in for my mug-shot, you'll see the baby's arm sticking out of my hair."
"Problem communicating with the printer."
"Don't worry; I'd never flirt with someone else right in front of you."
"Tidus, are you taking lip from those pickles again?"
"Your mom! - No offence."
"Her voice grates on me after she complains for awhile but, other than that; she’s not bad."
"It's amazing, we have like a million and a half jokes about pickles and not one of them is sexual..."
"One day you'll see, Leon, that Ramon Salazar has created the world's greatest fashion statement!"
"Why are you doing this?"
"We choose the weirdest times to tell eachother important shit."
"Holy shit! Can you read my mind?"
"Omigod! It's Dr. Sphincter!"
'It's a great pleasure to meet one of your friends, even if she is quite odd...'
"Horrible, just a horrible thing. Flew right past the children's wing. All the sick children, in the playroom, looking out the window, just traumatized by the incident. Apparently, they all thought he was flying. You know how children are, 'Oh look. A man is flying. A man is flying' And then, splat..."
"Tiny dick! KRAUSER!"
"Hon, you need to dry your hair!"
"You didn't say anything about how I smelled..."
"Do you know what's going on here? Can't you see what's happened? I've become George."
"Kiss him, it makes everything better!"
"Whoa... Dude... It makes me so... Horny..."
"Most people have 'Our Song', 'Our Movie', 'Our Toilet', 'Our Whatever-the-Shit'. We have 'Our Boss-fight with Some Weird-ass Thing that Looks Like it Belongs in that Alien Vs. Predator Movie'."
"Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a tiny room with tiny walls... And rats! I hate rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once..."
"Dee dee dee!"
"Montag ran. He could feel the Hound, like autumn, come cold and dry and swift, like a wind that didn't stir grass, that didn't jar windows or disturb leaf shadows on the white sidewalks as it passed. The Hound did not touch the world. It carried its silence building up a pressure behind you all across town. Montag felt the pressure rising and ran."
“Sorry but I don’t take orders from anyone unless they’re paying me and I get health insurance.”
(Rapping) "Madonna will perform at my palace live, because she still looks beautiful at 75!"
“In case you noticed that beautiful puncture wound in your neck, I figured that we would give you a little gift in time for the holidays, seeing as it is the 19th day of December.”
"Boy, I had no idea you felt this way about the Costanzas"
"God! Stop it! You're gonna scare me so bad, I'll go to school naked!"
"Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie! And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll shut 'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I would love it!"
"I swear to God if you ever join the military, I'll chain you to the bed!"
“I pushed a button again..."
"Falling naked gay-man! Falling naked gay-man!"
Fast Fact #5234: I gave Stephie a pickle balloon when she had knee surgery; Worse, it made her month.
"You couldn’t call him a guy. He’s more like a caramelized fossil."
"Floppy, flop-flop, flop, flop-flop!"
"Who’s this Shane guy? She’d better not talk about him constantly."
"Oh, God is this going to be like last New Years?"
"Oh! Fuck! I didn't think it would run me over!"
"Ouch that's gotta hurt..."
"You know your hair's a piss-bitch, right?"
"Well that's just not right."
"What about the breathing, the panting the moaning, the screaming?"
"What the fuck! What is up with Ada's obsession with flashing Leon her panties?"
"How 'bout this sexy little number?"
"You may look, but you MAY NOT TOUCH."
"What are you doing, counting the dots on the ceiling?"
"We have a possible drug bust at 6427 on the corner of Mugwhitey and Stabwhitey, dispatch..." "Ive got it!" "That's your address isn't it?" "Maybe..."
"I'm back, baby! I'm back!"
"The apples are mealy. The oranges are dry. I don't know what's going on with the papayas."
"The bastard got what he deserved! Tee hee!"
"But then again, I'm an enigma."
"I am a magical creature of the wood!"
"What, do I have to spell it out for ya? He was moving on her like the storm-troopers into Poland."
"Wow, Stephie, I knew you liked Mountain Dew, but I didn't know you liked it THAT MUCH!"
"Sir. Sir! You can't bring your knife on board the plane."
"You're not still thinking about this afternoon, are you?"
"Now for the Feature Presentation!"
"Hi, I'm Lizzy. I've come for the ham."
"You're returning used fruit?"
"Do you think you'd get fired if you worked in a Pepsi factory and drank Coke?"
"Okay, here it is; 300,000 pesatas."
"Have you ever, you know... Faked it?"
"If your name was William and you were in the army, wouldn't you get nervous if they said 'Fire at will!'?"
"For the record, yeah, I knew that was your nose."
"My God! Everything that dude says is a sexual innuendo!"
"This was the best weekend ever; I got to go to a Lightning game!"
“Mike? Am I gay?”
"How do you solve a problem like Maria..."
"It's okay. I'm half-retarded. Just talk slow and don't look me right in the eyes and you should be fine."
"Holly is SUCH a whore... AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"Well he's from the impressionist school, you know like Monet, Manet, Tippy-Tippy-Day-Day."
"It's a gold atom, Michael; A GOLD ATOM!"
"Nice work Smurf-y."
"I are learn-ed!"
"Words go together not well so."
'Let me say thank you so very much for the image of Saddler kissing Leon. That didn't just put a damper on my libido, it beat it to death. Now I'm having a hell of a time writing the AshleyxLeon love scenes in my next chapter of Tenenbrae. I'm going to have to go look at some porn or something, because your last chapter was a definitive antiboner.'
"It's not easy, but easy doesn't enter into grown-up life."
"Karma's a BITCH!"
"I'm like, 'yo, my family, bitches.' that's a great picture."
"We look like theMafia, don't we?" "If we were the Mafia, we wouldn't be smiling." "Sure we would." "I worry about you." (sarcastic) "Me...why? What...fish?"
"If I don't kill someone with a nail file or a spoon by the end of this trip...it'll be a miracle."
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