Author has written 3 stories for Bones, and Harry Potter.
Hey. My name is Kit, 20ish years old, and a readaholic. :) I don't write anymore (ie I took all my stories down), but I have loads for you to read from my fav list, so feel free to browse there! some really great stories! Also, if you're looking for some funnies, read below, some of them are quite good!
Things to do in a shop when you are bored.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
HA!! TKAE TAHT YOU SELINPLG NTUS! YOU TOO EGNILSH TACEHRES!!
Mental Hospital Phone Menu (If any of these apply to you then no offense is intended. It is just something funny I found and decided to add to my profile. Again, no offense is intended and sorry if offense is taken.)
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."
92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
if Hannah Montanna was standing on the edge of a 6 story building about 90 of Americans would have a nervous breakdown. If you are one of the 10 of Americans and Canadians that is yelling "JUMP BITCH!" copy and paste this in to your profile (If this ever happened, I would be behind her with a pirate sword and outfit on, pushing her off of the "plank". nods solemnly I wait for that day too. I wait for it too...)
"It takes an idiot to do cool things...that's why they're cool. - FLCL
"If the opposite of Pro is Con then the opposite of Progress is Congress" - random thought from EroSlackerMicha's profile
"Yes!" "No!" "What was the question?" - from EroSlackerMicha's profile
"There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I have white out" - from EroSlackerMicha's profile
"In War - Death, In Peace - Vigilance, In Death - Sacrifice" - The Grey Wardens (Dragon Age Origins)
B.O.H.I.C.A.: Bend Over Here It Comes Again
F.U.B.A.R. : F#cked up beyond all recognition
Its's a Stupid idea, I'll go first - from EroSlackerMicha's profile
What color is the Sky in your world - from EroSlackerMicha's profile
The Angel on my shoulder was gang raped by the devil from the other shoulder and the voices in my head - from EroSlackerMicha's profile
"I am fluent in three languages. English, Sarcasm and Profanity." from EroSlackerMicha's profile
"I am right 97 percent of the time, who cares about the other 4 percent." - from EroSlackerMicha's profile
A highly rec'd author for the Naruto universe (if you read that... and even if you didn't, go read her stories anyway. brilliant pieces of work) is Wingwyrm http://www.fanfiction.net/u/108887/Wingwyrm
Please check out her stories. awesome as!
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