Is0lde
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Joined 09-10-04, id: 669287, Profile Updated: 07-17-08
Author has written 38 stories for Good Omens, Hellsing, Matrix, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Fight Club, Harry Potter, Snatch, Angel, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Misc. Books, and Misc. Movies.

I'm a tired, 20-ish waitress from Sweden. I love writing about closet cases.
Though at the moment I'm busy making a living, I always have a plot or two cooking.

Oh, and also. I don't write romance. I don't really do PWP, either, but since the cathegories for fic are very limited here, I tend to choose "romance" simply because it's closest to the truth of it.
But, just to get things straight, I don't do romance.
(though I guess it all comes down to what you choose to define as "romance". Yeah, I'll shut up now.)

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Breaking Point by Tashue reviews
-SLASH- Formerly 'Give Me Back My Light'. Turkish and Tommy find Mickey beaten and bloody on the streets of London. Turkish takes him in, and the life he was trying to lead is turned upside down as old memories and habits come flooding back.
Snatch - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 26,876 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/24/2010 - Published: 5/11/2005
Wet by Sara's Girl reviews
Greg hates walking, hates golf courses and hates the rain. What could possibly change his mind? **Slash** Nick/Greg. Shameless smut. Another random pearoast from WMTDB.
CSI - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,653 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Nick S., Greg S. - Complete
Shall I Compare Thee to a Tentacled Alien Corpse? by marginaliana reviews
Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Jack and Ianto's naughty limerick war. Jack Ianto slashiness
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,401 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Complete
KISS by suggsygirl reviews
SLASH - Gene/Sam - Sam has to make things more complicated than they are.
Life on Mars - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,655 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Complete
Brethren by Raihu reviews
Kirill hides behind his tattoos. Nikolai is already familiar with that disguise.
Eastern Promises - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,042 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Complete
Jarrison by daf9 reviews
Tru and Jack. Tru and Harrison. Jack and Harrison were something else.
Tru Calling - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 402 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Complete
The Matrix: Elrond vs Anderson by Wetfish reviews
This is a Matrix spoof. It contains several traces of insanity. It is a script involving the matrix characters and it basically how I think the film should have been. P.S: Completely finished.
Matrix - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,617 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/17/2006 - Published: 11/5/2004 - Complete
Rejection by Incubabe reviews
MM SLASH. Oneshot. Jack needs some time alone but Sawyer isn't going to give him that luxury.
Lost - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,033 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/5/2005 - Jack, Sawyer - Complete
The Very Secret LiveJournals by Arrmaitee reviews
NEW CH 8! SLASH, PARODY! These raunchy journals expose the burning secrets of Hogwarts' students & staff! Warning: contains excessive references to Harry’s eyes, Draco’s cherry, cold showers, kinky leather goodies, and a virgin sacrifice for Uncle Voldie!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,593 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 5/13/2005 - Published: 12/31/2003 - Harry P., Draco M.
S & X on the Jerry Springer Show by sarkywoman reviews
Spike and Xander tell the others about their relationship on the Jerry Springer show.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,581 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/13/2004 - Xander H., Spike
Used by Mary Sue Murderer reviews
The First comes to Andrew in the middle of the night to impart on him certain truths about Warren. Dark, Wandrew - Please R&R!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,709 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/12/2004
The Secret Diary of Agent Smith by Hobbit-eyes reviews
So the diaries of Agent Smith are back again. Some cheer, some mutter angrily 'Oh no, doesn't she ever STOP' But whatever. Ever wondered what goes on inside that massive forehead? Probably not this. No slash, just my usual strangeness.
Matrix - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,437 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/27/2004 - Published: 10/16/2003
The Innocent by Lexie the Dreamer reviews
One-shot set in the 1880s. Drusilla gives Spike a gift... an innocent girl.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,256 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/14/2004 - Spike, Drusilla - Complete
Ears by belle-epave reviews
Andrew & Jonathan. Drabble. Bleeding-in-alley challenge.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/26/2004
Dark Alleys by Libazeth reviews
Among dumpsters reeking of death, Buffy finds release.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/29/2004 - Buffy S., Spike - Complete
The Curse of Freddie Mercury by Sparkling Cyanide reviews
Someone left a copy of "Good Omens" in Crowley's car for more than a fortnight... parody of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody
Good Omens - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 526 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/9/2003 - Complete
Project Hellmouth by airawyn reviews
A Buffy-Fight Club fusion featuring the Trio.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,397 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/30/2003
in the closet by Michi the Killer reviews
Ron needs to see a psychiatrist, Ginny's paranoid, Hermione's absent, and Harry's in denial...My very first H/G! Teehee! H/D fans should read, though...you'll be suprised...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,439 - Reviews: 435 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 34 - Published: 8/27/2003 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
It's A Kind of Magic by Moony12 reviews
AKA, The Crossover of DOOM. Adam Young's gone to Hogwarts. Aziraphale and Crowley pose as wizards to keep an eye on him. Harry et al make memorable cameos. Comic hijinks ensue.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,260 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 5/8/2003 - Published: 3/28/2003
The Pen by Rose5 reviews
What would a day of rounds be without a J.D./janitor confrontation?
Scrubs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,519 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Published: 4/8/2003
Diamonds by FayJay reviews
In 'Five by Five' (AtS S1) Lilah picked Faith up in a club. Here's how. (f/f)
Angel - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,666 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/27/2002
An Unlikely Friendship by PeteyDG reviews
Inspired by and a continuation of Nix's Charity, posted here as Chapter One, pre-Clerks, non-slash, A/U take on how Jay & Silent Bob met and became the inseparable duo we know and love. Rated R for language, violence. UNFINISHED.
Kevin Smith - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,168 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/23/2002 - Published: 10/10/2001
Nine Men And A Little Lady by Kielle reviews
Once upon a time a mysterious girl joined the Fellowship...damn her! Sick of annoying Mary Sues? Actually READ Tolkien? This may cheer you up.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,725 - Reviews: 1176 - Favs: 1,981 - Follows: 162 - Published: 1/8/2002
Games by FayJay reviews
Set mid AtS 2. Wes & Gunn chill out over a few beers after a hard night's slayage and Gunn makes a little discovery about Wes. m/m slash implied. Some strong language appropriate to context.
Angel - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,196 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/29/2001 - Published: 12/9/2001
To Sever the Lining from a Cloud by Textualsphinx reviews
O read me, review me I live for your praiseAnd this sweet touching tale has taken two daysIt dripped through my head when, too scantily cloaked I got caught in a rainstorm and thoroughly soaked. 'GOLDEN QUILL' and 'BLOODY BRILLIANT' award winner.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,247 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/25/2001 - Published: 12/8/2000 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Diamond in the Rough by TarynWanderer reviews
A Snatch fanfiction. In 1993, Turkish finds Tommy, broken and bleeding, in an alley in London's East End.
Snatch - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,363 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/28/2001 - Published: 1/25/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Detached reviews
Eastern Promises. London had scores of good, less morally ambivalent undercover agents on standby, but they couldn’t have found a better man for the job.
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Complete
Russian roulette reviews
Eastern Promises. Kirill/Soyka. "Those feelings are forgotten, dismissed in the night, although they always double back in the morning and hit me like a ten ton truck."
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 666 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Complete
Sick
Eastern Promises. Kirill/Soyka. There are no good secrets. Just secrets that get you killed.
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,724 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Complete
About a Burning Fire reviews
Night Watch. Anton is Light. Kostya is Dark. Whatever's between them, it's forbidden. But who listens to good judgement when your life is falling apart?
Misc. Books - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,625 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/30/2007 - Complete
Treachery reviews
Soap really needs to tell Tom off. SLASH, Soap x Tom. I just had the urge to write something a tad fluffy for a change...
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/22/2005
Powerless reviews
SLASH, Spangel Angelus' POV. He must get off on being treated like last month’s garbage, because he keeps coming back for another hit. And quite frankly, it suits me perfectly.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,744 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/14/2005 - Angel, Spike
All he needed reviews
Sometimes things just happen, and then perhaps it's best just to tag along for the ride. SLASH
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,614 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/27/2005
Measure of resolve reviews
Drinking solves a lot of problems and creates new, previously not even conceivable ones. SLASH duh, Tom x Soap. Written for maisirmoltesen! Previously entitled Lock, Stock & Unexpected Humiliation.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,986 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/2/2005
The fifth rule reviews
SLASH. The Narrator rides the bus in the middle of the night, and guess who gets on? AU fic in which Tyler is a real person.
Fight Club - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,133 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/28/2005
Perfect reviews
Jack tries to adapt.
Fight Club - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,886 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2005
Scar? What scar? reviews
Just a tiny little humorous modification of the oh-so-dramatic "the-wand-chooses-its-wizard" scene.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/15/2005 - Harry P.
You are not your Very Secret Diary of Tyler Durden reviews
You're a voice in my head!" "You're a voice in mine." If Tyler Durden had a diary, what would it say? Well, most certainly nothing like this! Perverse, dirty, and pretty funny. (also published by co-writer maisirmoltesen)
Fight Club - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,768 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/10/2005
Butterflies reviews
When faced with the choice, will Tyler be permitted to rule once again... or are there things more important than destroying world economy and corporate art?
Fight Club - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,208 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/20/2005
Chocolate reviews
And the Prophecy said: Behold! for the fanfic author known as Is0lde shall watch an episode of Angel and write a weird, absurd short story because of it. THIS IS THE RESULT.
Angel - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/20/2005 - Angel, Cordelia C.
Sideless reviews
Alas! for Aziraphale has Fallen because of his fraternising with Crowley the demon. What's he going to do now? I suck at summaries. But... R&R.
Good Omens - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,282 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/15/2005
Tattoo reviews
Sick, humorous... weird! Draco's and Harry's secret is in jeopardy of being exposed! What measures are to be taken? Read to find out! (not as serious as it sounds... not nearly...)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,675 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/7/2005 - Draco M., Harry P.
Passion for destruction reviews
When you're an immortal, blood-sucking fiend, there's no limit to the fun you can have with mortals. Death is an art, make your murder beautiful... summary sucks. Sorry! Just read.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,041 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/6/2005 - Spike
Unlikely Messiah reviews
(Rating for attempted rape, violence and stuff like that) How did Turkish find Tommy, anyway? Well, here's one theory. Probably my darkest story yet!
Snatch - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,509 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/1/2005
The wrong trailer reviews
(SnatchMatrix crossover) Ever wonder how Mickey was able to punch someone out cold with just one blow? Here's why... AU 'cause here, Mickey's the One, not Neo. This might be a bit weird... heh.
Snatch - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,415 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/27/2004
Keeping secrets reviews
SLASH. Fred's keeping a big secret from George. Meanwhile, George has other problems - feelings he shouldn't be having for his brother...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,848 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/23/2004 - George W., Oliver W.
Everyone needs someone reviews
(crossover with "Harry Potter") Giles, Buffy, Xander and Willow take a trip to Hogwarts, romantic, dramatic and humorous stuff ensue. I suck at summaries, just read it.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,228 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/9/2004
You haven't made your peace reviews
Songfic. Post "Chosen" and therefore also post Spike's demise. Buffy thinks about him and their relationship's twists and turns.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/5/2004
Isolation reviews
Songfic. Andrew and Jonathan have fled to Me-hi-co and Andy misses Warren. A lot. The lyrics are from "Lemon tree". [Andrew x Warren]
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/5/2004
Taste like plastic reviews
AndrewWarren poetry. R&R! Also, please read my other AndrewWarren stories. They're waiting for you! waves hysterically
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/20/2004
Confessions of a not so dangerous mind reviews
Andrew confesses. How will a man of the church react to what he has to say? And will it help him in any way? Post "Storyteller". READ & REVIEW PLEASE!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/19/2004
Love's a funny thing reviews
Jonathan screws up his magicks again. Basically, this is a request-made fanfic where Andrew gets to be happy if only for a little while. [Andrew x Warren]
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,418 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/6/2004
There's something about you reviews
Andrew and Warren get drunk and share... well, let's just say an intimate moment. But hey, it's rated G... ergo, not so sexual.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,301 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/3/2004
Crashing into you
[Andrew x Warren]rnSequel to "Utopia". Andrew's still in love, Warren doesn't have a clue... and Jonathan does some really stupid stuff with spirits he shouldn't have... R&R!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,270 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/1/2004
It's you
Uhm, what can I say? Spike thinks he's unworthy of Buffy. (The "you're beneath me" line might have had something to do with that...) R&R, please! Tell me what you think!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 295 - Published: 10/31/2004
Marla reviews
Rated PG for language. Err, this is a poem I wrote inspired by Marla Singer from "Fight Club". I love that movie. I love everything about it. Please R&R, people.
Fight Club - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/24/2004
Utopia reviews
[Andrew x Warren] Fluffy little story I wrote today. Rated PG for... err... talk about killing everyone. Might seem frightening to small children who stumble upon this page...
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/23/2004
So pretty when you're falling reviews
A little poetry concerning the death of Trinity and, finally, Neo. Good bye-speech. Read author's note inside!
Matrix - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/17/2004 - Trinity, Neo
Tictac reviews
Yes, I'm perfectly aware of the in the movie, Cypher comes to his agreement with Smith at a fancy restaurant. Therefore, this is kind of AU. This is my take on everything. R&R, people! Things don't correct themselves! Read author's note inside.
Matrix - Rated: K - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,316 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/17/2004 - Cypher, Smith, A.
Stars, hide your fires! reviews
What happens when Crowley's beloved car gets totally trashed, and he can't return it to original form? Are there demon forces involved, and if so, what can Aziraphale do to help? After all - this isn't angel territory...
Good Omens - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,726 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/14/2004 - Published: 10/4/2004
An interesting meeting reviews
My first fanfic based on The Matrix! Hurrah! Well, anyway, this is an entirely made-up event - the meeting between Smith & the Merovingian. Only 1 chapter so far... uhm, read authors note inside for more info.
Matrix - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,024 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/10/2004 - Smith, A., Merovingian
The dance of the NoLife King reviews
Just a small poem thingy I put together about a year ago. I don't know if it sucks or not () because no one's bothered reviewing it. So I'd be really happy if you'd R&R. But be nice.
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/9/2004