KalliopeStarmist
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Joined 09-13-04, id: 671041, Profile Updated: 08-01-11
Author has written 35 stories for Harry Potter, Legend of Zelda, Weiss Kreuz, Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, and Avatar: Last Airbender.

NEWS OF A VERY PERTINENT NATURE:

Right, so I set up a new livejournal account for fic that I write but don't post here (some because it's brilliant, but rated M, some because it deals with characters that only I like, some because it's full of major spoilers, but mostly because it's stuff that I consider mediocre). I'd be highly honored if you checked it out. The journal's rated M in general, but each fic comes with its own rating so that you can pick and chose. (The vast majority will be fairly safe.) And you should check out my banner, because it's everything I love about Naruto, in a banner.

Introducing:ExcessiveKallie.livejournal.com

Announcement;

1) A few of you may be aware that I have a completely unhealthy love for the Hyuuga clan... All five of them, but mostly Neji... and the Twins. What you may not be aware of is that sometimes I hurt the ones I love. Like by helping to write this story with BookWyrmy: Spiritual Relations. Currently the summary isn't as good as it could be, so here's what you need to know: 1) There is a lot of body-transfering 2) Dark Corner's very own Grandma Hyuuga will be making an appearance. 3) Hiashi has a magical girl transformation sequence. But, of course, you should already know this. It's just common sense. Read this story. It's everything I love about the Hyuugas... and so, so much more.

Some amazing people have been doing illustrations for my stuff because I threatened them... er, because they're too good to me. XD So, here are the links, and be sure to comment, fave, browse through their galleries, ect. And remember, illustrations are always welcome!

By Antifishestablishmentarianistfor Culture Shock: http://theamazingrinsama.deviantart.com/art/The-Begining-64420225

By Element-Girlsfor XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine: http://element-girls.deviantart.com/art/Not-as-far-as-you-thought-64037597

By Arafaxdeep20for XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine: http://arafaxdeep20.deviantart.com/art/Attached-at-the-Ring-2-69159766 (Now with Photoshop!)

Illustration by an artist of dubious ability for XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine: http://kalliopestarmist.deviantart.com/art/Youko-and-Kenta-62650911

The Fortune of Mrs. Sakura Official List

Sakura X Genma, The Forth Hokage, Kimimaro, Kisame, Hidan, Pein, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Tobi, Yamato, Lee, Kiba, Chouji, Naruto, Sasuke, Haku, Kyuubi, Iruka, Hayate, Jiraiya, Suigetsu, Kotetsu, and Izumo

About the Authoress: KalliopeStarmist is a college student majoring in crack pairings and minoring in procrastination. She lives in an otaku-dominated dorm with her laptop, her spare personalities, her pet shinigami, and her two muses. Her hobbies include failing to be an epic older sister, pretending to do her homework, and telling people 'bout the Hyuugas.

Reminder: Just because a story is complete/old doesn't mean that I don't love getting reviews on it! (hint hint, nod nod, wink wink) (yes, I'm a shameless whore)

Deviantart (Which you should check out because I do put up fanfics/fanfic-like literature there occasionally.): http://kalliopestarmist.deviantart.com/
The never-ending attempt to ween myself off fanfiction. (Link constantly broken, it's KalliopeStarmist at fictionpress.com.)
And my Gaia.

--Kallie's Friends--

"I may be losing, but you're Neji, and I'll be better after the match." --Hinata at the Chunin Exams. (Link constantly broken... it's Chopkins at fictionpress.com.)

"Gaara, the only monster in your bedroom is y-- Yargh." --Temari almost speaks before she thinks.

Tenten: I hugged you, shouldn't you turn into a cat?
Dir Kyo: I'm not that Kyo.

"From now on we shall be called Team Pixie Stick!" --Sasuke

Sloth and Pride: We've come up with the perfect punishment! We'll strap you to a wall and force you to listen to Dante's rants about the Good Old Days!
Lust: You sadists!

Deathnote: A sociopath, a shinigami, a Mary Sue, and an OCD genius walk into a hotel room. The question: Will they get the handcuffs off before the potato chips run out?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone with my stories, but you politically-correct people are truly impossible to please, so I can't help it. (All right, sometimes I do it on purpose...)

Disclaimer 2: If I owned any of the series that I write for (Weiss Kreuz, Zelda, Harry Potter, FullMetal Alchemist, Evangelion, Naruto, ect,) I wouldn't be posting them on fanfiction. I would be relaxing in a tropical beachside mansion, sipping tropic rum drinks and laughing at the world.

Disclaimer 3: Gary Bother, My Zelda Fic (I can't even remember its name) and What Happens in Weiss are not to be read. I'm ashamed of them. I keep them only for their aesthetic and sentimental value. Do not waste your time.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Talked Into Self Sacrifice by Sarah1281 reviews
Hyuuga Hizashi was just minding his own business when he was accosted by a Hyuuga elder with a mad plan to save Hiashi from his own mistake: talking his twin into agreeing to a trade.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,549 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Hizashi H., Hiashi H. - Complete
Spiritual Relations by bookwyrmy reviews
Everything you wanted to know about the Hyuugas but were too afraid to ask. Warnings: "Neji"/"Hina", possession. Written with KalliopeStarmist & an unnamed catgirl
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,356 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/2/2009 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Hiashi H., Neji H.
Skinny Dipping: A Documentary by evilsockofghana reviews
Little episodes from the life and times of Kakashi's team. Part of the Documentary Stories.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 11,751 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 7/20/2006 - Kakashi H., Naruto U.
Going Commando: A Documentary by evilsockofghana reviews
Little episodes from the life and times of Team Gai. Part of the Documentary Stories.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 11,763 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 1/28/2009 - Published: 3/15/2006 - Gai M., Lee R.
Rainbow by Roses of Sharon reviews
Because life – and love - comes in a million fragmented colors, and one must try them all before choosing. CRACK. 32, Pink, KankSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 16,470 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 4/24/2008
Façade by Rhaella reviews
Oneshot. Kisame finds it mildly ironic that someone who delivers nightmares by day could be so plagued by them at night. Kisame/Itachi.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,321 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Kisame H., Itachi U. - Complete
Raspberry Cocktail by wwwwwww reviews
A little sweet raspberry mixed with a little sour lime, and just enough liquor so the world makes sense. A collection of NaruSasu-centric drabbles.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,933 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 11/10/2008 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
No, You're Sexy! by Kantayra reviews
Naruto and Sasuke have the amazing power to argue about anything, even sex. Naruto/Sasuke.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 730 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 24 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Prettiest Princess by Ninjagrrl reviews
When Akatsuki have to go undercover at a beauty contest, they will stop at nothing to win. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,367 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 665 - Follows: 46 - Published: 3/28/2008 - Deidara, Itachi U. - Complete
Why Not by MistressArafaxdeep reviews
Mikoto is an young Uchiha girl who had the priviledge of being selected to be the heir spouse. Too bad she doesn't want tied down. Her attitude causes some problems, but perhaps Fugaku will convince her that marriage has some benefits.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,197 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Fugaku U., Mikoto U.
The Mating Frenzy by MSkyDragons reviews
After the attacks by Orochimaru and the Sand, Konoha’s population is dangerously low. Desperate times call for extreme measures, and Tsunade issues a priority S class mission to every Leaf ninja: to pair off and start making babies!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 33 - Words: 70,171 - Reviews: 6934 - Favs: 5,140 - Follows: 2,087 - Updated: 11/22/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Naruto U. - Complete
Odd Times in Konoha by DynamicKayos reviews
What do you get when you cross a bored psyco, Naruto, and enough plot lines to open a book store? Read and find out! Mucho crack, lime, and potential spoilers.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 22,174 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/14/2007 - Published: 3/3/2007 - Naruto U., Temari
Origins by MistressArafaxdeep reviews
A quick one shot involving Temari's real father...Only implied lemons and alcohol use. Karura and Minato...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,503 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/14/2007 - Complete
One Shot at Love by MistressArafaxdeep reviews
In a political bargain, Temari ends up married to Itachi. At first Temari avoids him, but in the end she comes around. Their relationship blossoms, but where will it take them? ItachiXTemari primary, GaaraXSakura secondary, and some others mentioned.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 28,639 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/3/2007 - Published: 8/10/2007 - Temari, Itachi U. - Complete
One Man's Trash by Dreary Somebody reviews
OLD STORY. The Kazekage had three children, all useless. Even in death, can he ever hope to forgive them? Rated for angst and content that could be considered mature. Characters are Gaara and Kankuro because YKK isn't a choice. Sort of longdrabbleish.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,485 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2007 - Gaara, The Fourth Kazekage - Complete
It Was Very Late and I Was Not Thinking Clearly by Aelibia reviews
It came from the bed. It was tired of being chained to the bedpost. It wanted to watch the Weather Channel. It wanted sex. The only question is: will the stove explode and set the surrounding houses on fire? Kisame and Sakura.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,345 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Sakura H., Kisame H. - Complete
WalMart Adventure by Bwans reviews
Squad 7 and the Sand Sibs are on a harmless trip to WalMart. But they soon find that WalMart isn't the lovely store they thought it was...
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,391 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/29/2007 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Complete
Of Sneezes and Weasels by mitsukai reviews
What do Itachi and Temari have in common? Not much, other than psychotic younger brothers, an affinity for fans, and something to do with weasels. But maybe that's all a relationship needs. ItaTema.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 25,532 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/26/2007 - Published: 4/6/2007 - [Itachi U., Temari] - Complete
Madame d'Aulnoy by fool.0 reviews
There is a man trying to fit a glass shoe three sizes too small on Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,248 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 15 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Complete
Generation of Fire by Celeris reviews
What happens when all the Naruto characters settle down and make families? And how will the kids act? NaruHina, SasuSaku, ShikaTem, NejiTen, InoSai, KonoHana, AsuKure, KakaAnko...did i leave anyone out?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,223 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 5/8/2007 - Published: 1/15/2007
Lucky Number Twenty by Cella N reviews
And now, Sakura is confronted with another dilemma: cooking. Lucky for her, someone is willing to help. SAKURA. CHOUJI. On waiting, numbers, failed hobbies, and cake. Lots of cake.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,569 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Chōji A., Sakura H. - Complete
Religious Artwork by ckret2 reviews
Hidan's obsessed with Jashin. Deidara's obsessed with explosions. But they can still share a hobby. Of course, that's bad news for anyone around them. [Oneshot, crackfic.]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,233 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 598 - Follows: 51 - Published: 4/7/2007 - Hidan, Deidara - Complete
Book One: Captured Kunoichi by Kariko reviews
Itachi desperately wants to make a deal with Temari to get his hands on Shukaku. Rated M for later chapters. Slightly AU, only because I need Gaara's demon for this story.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,553 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/23/2007 - Published: 12/11/2006 - Temari, Itachi U. - Complete
What the Doctor Ordered by desolate butterfly reviews
[NaruNeji, bondage] Neji is injured on a mission and perscribed bedrest, but Naruto doesn't trust him to stay put so he takes matters into his own hands.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,382 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/18/2007 - Neji H., Naruto U. - Complete
She's Come Undone by Forsythia Lux reviews
[Temari x Itachi] When the citizens of Suna revolt, the very fabric of ninja existence is threatened. In order to protect her way of life, Temari must side with the people she vowed to kill, Akatsuki, while disregarding the repercussions.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,700 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/17/2007 - Published: 11/19/2006 - Temari, Itachi U.
Oh, Brother by kawaii-Cherimu130 reviews
A funny, and very short, drabble about the night Gaara was born.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Temari, Kankuro - Complete
Of Kunai Knives and Romance by Ohtori Akio reviews
Naruto drabbles, all couples, genres, situations, shoujo and shounenai and ratings. I take requests. LATEST DRABBLES: CannonballGaara, EnvySasuNaru, A Time For All Things YamatoSaku
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 53 - Words: 9,358 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/30/2006 - Published: 1/9/2006 - Kakashi H., Sakura H.
Twelfth Night! Uzumaki Style! by Firebreathing Ghost reviews
Shakespeare's classic, starring characters from Kishimoto's classic. Can this fanauthor pull it off? BELIEVE IT!
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 13,803 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/8/2006 - Published: 5/17/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Thank You by Bwans reviews
Oneshot. Temari wants her youngest brother to know that she's there for him. Could contain spoilers for those who don't know about the Naruto Gaara fight
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,372 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2006 - Complete
The Little Seductress by LuvinAniManga reviews
Ino made a bet with Sakura: the first single man to walk in the door is the one she has to seduce into kissing her tonight. Backed into a corner, she agrees. What ensues when she sees it's THAT man?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,578 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 574 - Follows: 66 - Published: 7/22/2006 - Neji H., Sakura H. - Complete
Drizzle by Marin M reviews
Kisame x Sakura. Because you'll need something other than Sasu x Saku to read, eventually.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,467 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/19/2006 - Sakura H., Kisame H. - Complete
Snotrags & Shitribbon by Chopkins reviews
Neji and Tenten search for the meaning of life while on a journy to Rite Aid to buy toilet paper. [Chapter One's been completely rewritten].
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,547 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/14/2006 - Published: 7/11/2006 - Neji H., Tenten
Move Along by Bwans reviews
Iruka must take care of baby Naruto, even if he doesn't want to. But he soon comes to find he cares for him.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,918 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/5/2006 - Published: 5/2/2006 - Complete
Edward Elric: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual by Hikari Hrair-rah reviews
At last, the one and only comprehensive guide for EDWARD ELRIC owners everywhere has arrived!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,237 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/26/2006 - Edward E. - Complete
Friendship Story by Letta reviews
Itachi receives a number of packages from Konoha while various people wonder about Naruto's mental health. Itachi Naruto FRIENDSHIP. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,924 - Reviews: 726 - Favs: 2,446 - Follows: 331 - Published: 12/15/2005 - Naruto U., Itachi U. - Complete
Trick or Pocky? by firefly reviews
Rule number one of a horror parody: Never let the rookie nine split up in a potentially haunted, killer inhabited mansion, never say I'll be right back, and always, ALWAYS, expect the unexpected when even Sasuke dresses up as a devil in hot red spandex.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,734 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 11/2/2005 - Published: 6/9/2005
Little Green Leaf by Ninja Shen reviews
...Fine. If you wanna die so bad, it's your call. But you gotta prove to me you're worth the effort. I'll let you fight my sister... but first, you gotta get through ME. Kankuro x Tenten [finished]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,591 - Reviews: 655 - Favs: 919 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 11/10/2004 - Kankuro, Tenten - Complete
The Amazing Race by wwwwwww reviews
A few select FMA characters are paired with each other to compete in a race around the world! It's odd and doesn't make a whole lot of sense! The crack fairy was generous this year.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,622 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/5/2005 - Published: 8/5/2005
Drunken Shinji by gunman reviews
Shinji gets drunk and starts telling it like it is, with interesting results. Slight ShinjiRei.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,009 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 30 - Published: 9/22/2005 - Complete
How to Recognize an Uchiha by WolfPilot06 reviews
Naruto's guide to recognizing an Uchiha: from clothing to behavior to freaky bloodline limits, Naruto begs you to remember all these tips to help protect his virtue! Crackfic, SasuNaru, ItaNaru
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 270 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/3/2005 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Damnit! Janet! by Chopkins reviews
A merry band of original characters (THE NUANCES OF TOAST) are harassed by a suspicous band of exchange students from Canada looking for the illusive "Janet". (Implied shonen-ai shojo-ai) [There's a more thorough summary on the inside]
Juvenile Orion - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,022 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/27/2005 - Published: 5/11/2005
Nagi's Road Trip by supalley reviews
HA! I've updated! I bet you all thought that I'd forgotten, ne? What happens when Nagi gets his license and a car, then gets bored driving around the city and decides to make a break for it? R&R please.
Weiss Kreuz - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,737 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/5/2002 - Nagi N.
Beddy Bye with Farfie by Deena reviews
Nagi's having trouble falling asleep so he visits Farfarello *humour, sap, waff*
Weiss Kreuz - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,603 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 20 - Published: 11/25/2000 - Nagi N., Farfarello
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Five People Who Woke Up In Ozai's Bed reviews
...And One Person Who Didn't . Exactly what it says on the tin. M/F, M/M, and a whole lotta walks of shame.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,976 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/23/2012 - Published: 3/4/2012 - Ozai
Professor Uzumaki reviews
Naruto is sent abroad to teach at Hogwarts as part of a cultural outreach program between magic-using communities. And, surprisingly, the castle is still standing. So far.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,618 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 451 - Follows: 214 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Harry P., Naruto U. - Complete
Dark Corners of the House of the Rising Sun reviews
.:drabble:. Tales from Konoha's Quintessential Dysfunctional Family, the Hyuugas. Starring Hinata, Hanabi, Hiashi, Hizashi, and Neji, even though his name doesn't start with an H.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 40,108 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 3/22/2007 - Hiashi H., Hizashi H.
Raising Albert reviews
Neji and Naruto make the ultimate commitment and purchase a plant together. But in the back of his mind, Naruto wonders, is their relationship really strong enough for a step this big? NejiNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,665 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/10/2009 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Naruto U., Neji H. - Complete
The Fortune of Mrs Sakura reviews
Sakura goes to a fortuneteller, who offers to let her spend one day married to each of her potential matches. Of course, she doesn't realize that Lee and Sasuke are just the tip of the iceburg. .:Every Sakura Pairing:.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,953 - Reviews: 1747 - Favs: 1,453 - Follows: 1,442 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 1/13/2007 - Sakura H., Shikamaru N.
Good Help reviews
Working undercover as part of an eccletic staff for a socially-inept heir was the last place that Itachi expected to start questioning himself and his loyalties.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,734 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 11/9/2008 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Itachi U., Sai
Culture Shock reviews
The people of Suna are harsh as the desert. The people of Konoha are treacherous as forest shadows. The passionate cannot thrive there... .:ItaTem:.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,583 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 5/29/2007 - Temari, Itachi U.
XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine reviews
Kankuro and Hinata end up in a loveless marriage :blame their fathers: , which is, of course, their cue to retreat to the internet and fall in love with other people. But the internet is no substitute for real life... KankuroXHinata
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,222 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 4/11/2008 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Hinata H., Kankuro - Complete
Sasuke's Triumphant Return reviews
Two different oneshots wherein Sasuke makes his way back to Konoha, with Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo in tow. Contains manga spoilers.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,228 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/31/2008 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Sasuke U. - Complete
Jurassic Love reviews
Omi goes to his brother for dating advice, Schwarz struggles to raise Nagi without killing him, a new assassin group appears, and then Ken's been watching the Smurfs... [crack fic... duh.]
Weiss Kreuz - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,514 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/2/2008 - Published: 12/5/2007 - Omi T.
THE Party Fic reviews
Or There's a Ninja On the Ceiling. Our favorite genin have a little bash at Naruto's house. Be prepared for Twister, Karaoke, DDR, bad movies, and drunken ninjas. Definitely drunk ninjas.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,896 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 11/6/2007 - Published: 6/27/2007
NaruHina NejiHina Battle Royale reviews
As long as there has been fandom, there has been a battle between Naruto and Neji for Hinata's affection. Today, the battlefield is a series of very short oneshots. Place your bets.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,840 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/3/2007 - Published: 10/27/2007 - Naruto U., Neji H. - Complete
Fairy Godmother Shukaku reviews
Temari was rather fond of Shukaku, at least, she didn't have a problem with him until he decided she needs a boyfriend, and he's just the demon to find her one! [ShikamaruXTemariXItachi triangle, lime]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,676 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 10/25/2007 - Published: 10/7/2006 - Temari, Itachi U. - Complete
Dante's Divine Sitcom reviews
The life and times of Anime!Pride. Because the only thing more traumatic than having Envy as your older brother is not getting any screentime to complain about it. [Spoilers, and lots of them]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/24/2007 - Führer Bradley, Envy
Babydoll reviews
.:SasoSaku, fluff, oneshot:. Wherein Sasori learns what it means to create something of beauty, and Sakura learns that good, evil, kindness, and cruelty do not follow social expectations.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,618 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/14/2007 - Sasori, Sakura H. - Complete
Twirlygigs and Gizzards reviews
Sakura, fed up with the romance interests in her life, decides to drag Gaara around town. Not too complicated, so why is everyone so confused? [SakuGaar][Chapter 12 is up!]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,836 - Reviews: 450 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 7/26/2007 - Published: 7/31/2006 - Sakura H., Gaara - Complete
One Day at the Playground reviews
Sasuke, tell you what, why don't I take you to the park? You can meet some kids your own age and stop bugging me. [Oneshot baby!nins]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,584 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/11/2007 - Itachi U., Hinata H. - Complete
The Mysterious Hermano reviews
[oneshot, Kankuro X Shikamaru] After a wild party at Sasuke's, Temari begins to suspect that Shikamaru is cheating on her and so enlists the help of her brother to track down the mysterious Hermano who has stolen her boyfriend.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,336 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/20/2007 - Shikamaru N., Kankuro - Complete
Trouble Brewing in the House of Sand reviews
Gaara's parents before he was born. The version your Uncle Yashamaru didn't tell you. If you've ever wondered why Mom didn't tell Dad exactly where he could stick Shukaku, then this may be your fic!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,432 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 6/8/2007 - Published: 1/23/2007 - Complete
The EDO : Join the Resistance! reviews
Ed is not all he appears, and when his evil plan goes into motion, the fate of humanity may rest on the inhuman. Ed is clever, true, but the Sins aren't done yet... [oneshot AU]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,780 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Winry R., Envy - Complete
Sort Of reviews
[oneshot] Temari's taking forever to get ready, so Shikamaru has a chat with Kankuro while he's waiting. After all, the two of them are friends. Sort of. [Kankuro X Shikamaru]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,274 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/23/2007 - Shikamaru N., Kankuro - Complete
A SugarySweet Christmas Tale reviews
Take Christmas Cheer, add ninjas, a hearty dose of humor and some sappy fluff, mix well. Sprinkle lightly with crack pairing. Serve as a oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,750 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/17/2006 - Complete
Several Short Stories Starring Sloth reviews
The Military's resident snobby secretary tackles workaholism, parenting, Elrics, and all of reincarnation's other little quirks.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,376 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/17/2006 - Published: 2/25/2006 - Sloth - Complete
One Day by the River reviews
[oneshot] This is Uchiha Itachi, age 11. The little boy over there is his younger brother. Yes, that's right, the one surrounded by girls.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 861 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/21/2006 - Itachi U., Hinata H. - Complete
Uncle Dearest reviews
[oneshot] A Twisted StoryArch Masterpiece. Temari's To Do List: Do dishes, make sure Kankuro eats, and dispose of her uncle's body before Gaara gets arrested. Just a typical evening, really.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,791 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/21/2006 - Temari, Kankuro - Complete
The Village Hidden in the Lemon Peels reviews
After an attack on their friends, Naruto and Sasuke seek vengence from the infamous Writer Ninjas of Lemongakure. Joined by Zabuza and his li'l friend Haku, they have to hurry, because things are heating up in Konoha, and they may be its only hope.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,822 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/9/2006 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Complete
Trying To Be Human reviews
By Popular Demand: the sequel to 'If You Give A Sin A Soul! Poor little Reg thought his problems were over. But, then, he thought his folks were dead, too. Can the littlest Sin get married before Roy gets too nosy?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,603 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/31/2006 - Published: 10/23/2005 - Elysia H., Wrath - Complete
One Day at the Hospital reviews
[oneshot] What do food poisoning, trying to kill your brother, old drinking games, and vanilla milkshakes have in common? Well, they can all land you at Konoha Memorial Hospital.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/18/2006 - Complete
Twisted StoryArch Masterpiece Theater reviews
The ending CartoonNetwork didn't want you to see. Rose tortures Ed, Dante, and assorted Sins, Roy and Sciesca decide that Bradley's term of office is up, and the truth behind lab 5 comes out! Don't miss it!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,884 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/17/2006 - Published: 5/7/2006 - Complete
Evangelion: Hagane No Genesis reviews
Or: Hoenheim of Light Saves the World With Giant Robots Piloted by his Sons. What was Winry and Hughes' past relationship? Why does Riza hate Sloth? Watch the drama unfold as Ed and Envy stomp around in giant robots! [rated for language]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,294 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 6/17/2006 - Published: 6/14/2006 - Complete
Lust of Ishbala reviews
[Lust X Scar] All Lust wanted was to die. The evil, egomaniac author had other plans. Now she's 'living' with Scar and his family... [one shot]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,697 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5/2006 - Lust, Scar - Complete
If You Give a Sin a Soul reviews
Taking your girlfriend to meet your folks is never easy, especially when your 'folks' are former homunculi. Not to mention, Reg's girlfriend has a secret that may prove more devistating that Envy's wardrobe impairment.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,484 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/22/2005 - Published: 9/20/2005 - Wrath, Elysia H. - Complete
What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss reviews
The Nuances of Toast, a band of merry original characters, find themselves trapped in the land of Killer Florists. Will they find a way home before being killed by irrate fangirls?
Weiss Kreuz - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,937 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/2/2005 - Published: 3/20/2005 - Complete
Gary Bother and the Shiny Rock o' Magic reviews
Gary leaves behind his disfunctional distant relations and braves evil bowling balls, fluffy puppies, teachers who can really hold a grudge, and the occasional mortal enemy at Pigpimple School for Warlocks and Weirdos.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,080 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/9/2005 - Published: 9/17/2004 - Complete
Hyrule as Seen by a Third Party reviews
Kicked from one culture to another, looking for a home or a cooler name, forced into a spotlight that assasins are drawn to, what's a girl to do but play along? Never to be finished
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,439 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/13/2005 - Published: 11/30/2004 - Complete
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  1. Hyuugas: Clan Dysfunctional
    Anime/Manga Naruto