ZoeandArtyawesomelover
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Joined 04-28-15, id: 6738780, Profile Updated: 05-12-16
Author has written 4 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Country: somewhere in america

Age: between 10- 20

My stories:

1)Percy Jackson and the daughter's of the death god (on hold)...sorry but I am stuck

2)The search of a new star

3) Oh No! Another Percy Jackson Guardian of the Hunt Story

Future Stories:

1)Percy Jackson savior of Olympus (name under rewrite)

2)Percy Jackson demigod between mortals (name under rewrite)

3)Percy Jackson outcast of outcasts (name under rewrite)

Possible future stories:

1)Percy Jackson and the mortal infection(dunno if readers want)

2)Dishing it Out

3)Percy Jackson the rejected demigod or Percy Jackson cold-heart assassin


The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

I promise to remember The Stolls

when my home is beginning to unsettle.

I promise to remember Bekendorf

whenever I see someone working metal.

I promise to remember Silena

whenever a friend takes one for the team

I promise to remember Michael Yew

whenever I see a smile that gleams.

I promise to remember Briares

whenever I see someone playing hand games.

I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth

whenever I see a cloth in flames.

I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos

whenever I see someone go against the odds.

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go

Now swear it on the River Styx!


NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers/skills

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down (politely)

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!


For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (Well, not really, but some of my keys are getting worn out and not working right. )

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) I am definitely a writer!


Dear bullies,

You notice that girl that you just called a whore for holding hands with her one-year old son? She was raped when she was 14. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.

Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't. Your life is probably not as harsh as theirs.


FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore/Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away. BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (a.k.a. drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy (or girl) rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him (or her) and say 'It's because you're gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when (s)he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him (her) up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Won't tell the cops when you kill somebody BEST FRIENDS: Will help you hide the body

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!


there were 3 girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that i'm looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesn't make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man you're starting to scare the living shit out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldn't want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fucking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldn't really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldn't stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die.


The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."


FAVORITE QUOTES:

"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer."

"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein

"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." Norm Crosby

"If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one." Lord Byron

"Silence is golden but duck tape is silver."

"Get the facts first. You can distort them later." Mark Twain

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." Mark Twain

"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."

"If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is surely not meant for you."

"Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to." Jay Leno

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." W.C. Fields

"It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it."

"I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden." Steve Martin


If you need a smile on your face read these...

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.

A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer

Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs 1- Pro 0.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone.

The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING...


Read this poem, but be prepared,

My name is May

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry," I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is May

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

If you are against child abuse, please copy and paste this poem to your profile. Do it for the abused children!


Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile


This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.


1) Favorite main guy character? Percy

2) Favorite mail girl character? Thalia

3) Favorite god?Hades

4) Favorite goddess? Artemis

5) Favorite minor goddess?Hecate

6) Favorite minor god? Thanatos

7) Favorite minor character? Bianca

8)Favorite monsters? Mrs.O'leary.

9) Hermes just asked you to help him repopulate Olympus...what is your answer to this disturbing question? fake dying from a heart attack

10)Which PJO Character Would You Date? Zoe

11)Which PJO Character Is Your Best Friend? Percy

12) Which PJO Character Do You Hate? Annabeth

13) You accidentally got stranded on a deserted island...who got stranded with you? Nico,he'll shadow travel me out of

14)Favorite PJatO Pairing? Pertemis

15)Favorite PJatO Quote? "With great power comes great need to take a nap,""Wake me up later."


DEMIGOD QUIZ

CHILD OF ZEUS

You like being in charge. (Nope, too lazy)

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt. (yeah, well with anything pointy )

You were voted Class President. (As i said too lazy)

You do what's best for everyone. (depends, my friends...yes. my family...not so much)

You think you have what it takes to run for President.(maybe, i don't wish to)

You think every problem has a solution. (Of course )

You love showing off. (I HATE IT.)

You always believe you're right. (NOPE.)

You like plane rides (YEP.)

You are hydrophobic (No I LOVE TO SWIM!)

3/10 (Wow)

CHILD OF POSEIDON

You feel at home in the water. (Yep.)

Your favorite vacation place is at the beach. (Nope, a frozen forest for me)

You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc. (SURE!)

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today. (of course i do)

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.(i dont have a local pool near...anywhere)

You swim professionally.(nope)

You hate seafood (fish yes, shrimps delicious)

You never get seasick. (Nope, never.)

You'd rather ride a boat than a plane. (Yes...No...Yes...No...Can't choose!)

You are acrophobic(By Hades NO!)

4/10

CHILD OF HADES

You're not that much of a people person. (people is stupid, except my readers and PJO fans)

You like staying in the dark and writing.(I like writing and I love the dark)

You experience bad moods on a regular basis. (in my house yes, parents problems...in the school, yes too boring)

You like listening to loud, angry music. (I LOVE that type of music!...GO METAL)

You spend most of your time alone. (Yeah, when I can.)

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying. (of course, unless it is rock or metal)

You like to keep to yourself. (yes)

All your closets are padlocked or you wish they could be (Chaos,Yes! I wish they could be)

You write in diary/journal/blog. (I have fanfictions...those that count...i think not)

You feel most active at night.(i go to 'sleep' early to be alone in the dark till midnight or 3 am)

10/10 (knew it)

CHILD OF DEMETER

You own a garden. (No)

You like the great outdoors. (As long as i am alone)

You have a green thumb. (no)

You're an environmentalist. (Yes, but I also like hunting)

You have a special connection with animals. (yes animals love me.)

You're a vegetarian. (NOPE!)

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world. (LOVE IT!)

You always check a product if it's environmentally-friendly. (no)

You love going to flower shops. (hell no)

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with. (It is a threat that is possible to get in the way of things)

4/10

CHILD OF ARES

You often start fights. (yes but only if he is kidding someone...i don't hit girls)

You're a very aggressive type of person. (i have anger issues)

You like watching wrestling. (Watching men in latex leotards fighting like morons? No.)

You're competitive. (Yes.)

You like reading about war. (if it is bloodly and has other aspect)

You have anger management issues. (yes, and my ADHD doesn't help even when it is just a bit)

You never back away from a fight. (i am no coward, if i get in a mess...i finish it)

Everyone does what you say. (I don't give or take orders)

You don't always think before you do something. (sometimes)

6/10 (eh, not surprised)

CHILD OF ATHENA

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. (too lazy)

You're probably the only person who visits the library on a regular basis. (I read in internet)

Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. (no, no one thinks i like reading)

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it. (i read just about fiction and war...not controversy)

You're the valedictorian in your class. (Whats a "valedictorian" but i am sure no)

You've never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card. (I have and I proud to say I'm not a know-it-all)

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them. (I don't think I've heard one)

You think it would be better if you were the President. (I am good hearted, i cant )

You have a huge shelf of books at home. (nope)

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.(No)

1/10

CHILD OF APOLLO

You're very creative and artistic. (YES...for pranks and getting away of things)

You like listening to all kinds of music in general. (no, i just like heavy music)

You always feel sunny and optimistic. (Nope, dark guy here)

You are talented at drawing. (i suck, but if i struggle i can get a stickman)

You like writing poetry. (never have tried)

You can play at least 3 musical instruments. (No)

You like going to art museums. (Hell yes...if i cant sleep)

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. (never done one!)

You have straight A's in Art on your report card. (the class is freaking easy!)

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes. (yes, the teachers are boring

2/10 (Cool!)

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS

You dislike boys in general. (i am not favorable of my species)

A deer is one of your favorite animals (I like them)

You can shoot targets (yes 90% of the time)

You like silver. (Silver's awesome)

You like the moon better than the sun(YES!)

Zoe Nightshade is awesome (OH MY GODS THAT'S EVEN A QUESTION...HELL YESSSSS!!!!!)

You love wild animals (YYEESS!)

You spend most of your time outdoors. (if i could yes)

You love to move around the place (hey i have ADHD i am bound to never be still)

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters. (Hunting is cool)

9/10 (I would do good as a hunter...if I was a girl!)(GO! PERCY'S WARRIORS)

CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS

You have a way with tools. (I can do a lot)

You build awesome things during your free time. (too lazy but if i need to yes)

You're the best at Woodshop in your class. (never done it)

Metalworking is your forte. (metal-working is cool, dangerous but cool)

You have your own toolbox. (Nope)

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots. (no)

You're a techie.(DEFINATELY)

You often have carpentry projects. (nah, too lazy)

You dream of being a carpenter. (electrical engineer...it is close)

You aren't afraid of fire. (Nope fire is light,dangerous light that I admire)

5/10

CHILD OF APHRODITE

Every guy/girl swoons for you. (OBLIVIOUS GUY HERE, not that i care)

You like putting on makeup. (i am a guy, wtf)

You naturally smell good. (don't know what i smell like)

You never experience a bad hair day. (my hair is a bird nest and i like it that way...Percy style )

Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping. (gods no...who even likes that)

You're always at the front of every trend. (nah still for the scary black clothes)

You're the popular girl/guy at your school. (i am proud to say no, i don't care for popularity)

You're often invited to parties. (yes, even if I don't go? it counts?)

Your motto is 'It's never a party without me." ( that's selfish )

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis. ( the last time i checked was when i cut my hair...last week )

1/10 (good I perfer that)

CHILD OF HERMES

You like pick pocketing your friends. (Sometimes if i need it, if it is important i give it back)

You're a prankster. (I love pranks)

You're a speed demon. (I love running)

You consider yourself restless. (I'm always fidgeting)

You're the best speaker in the class. (I can give good speeches but only if improvised )

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits. (Yep)

You're inventive and resourceful. (I like inventing things)

You often start arguments. (it is annoying)

You've never lost a debate.(punching the guy counts as winning? cause if yes, I never lose...)

You like making witty and sarcastic statements. (thanks goodness sarcasm exist)

8/10 knew i was related to him

CHILD OF DIONYSUS

You're the life of the party. (no)

You like wine. (It taste good )

You've probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there. (I'm underage for goodness sake!)

You can finish a martini in less than a minute... (Look above)

You have a happy, cheerful disposition. (Nope)

You're a foodie. (love food)

You like going to social events and mingling with people. (no)

You like trying out new food. (sometimes)

You feel that you're abundant in life. (What the Hades? I am not)

You think that too much of anything is bad. ( of some things)

2/10 not surprides

Son of Hades ( i knew it)

Hunter of Artemis (I will get her to let me date Zoe)

Champion of Ares (I don't promise to kill anyone)

Legacy of Hephaestus (i want a copy of backbitter...scythe mode)

Nephew of Hermes (no comments)


EXTRA JOKE PAGE FROM HERMES!(NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!):

Friends/Best Friends

FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a towel and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost

BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions


I'M SORRY

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you;

I'm sorry that I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk;

I'm sorry that my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants;

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised;

I'm sorry that I'm not cute enough to be "your guy";

I'm sorry that I am actually nice, not a jerk;

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things;

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead off to a club;

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy;

I'm sorry that I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date;

I'm sorry that I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy;

I'm sorry that I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend;

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around;

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize I've been the one all along;

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care.

But most of all,

I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore;

I'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am;

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world;

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for;

I'm sorry that I told you I loved you and actually meant it;

I'm sorry that I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family;

I'm sorry that I cared;

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If you're one of the few girls with enough balls to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.


Doesn't every true fan of Percy Jackson have this on their page?

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we couldn't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's not getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about

Morpheus. The god of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. Kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp


Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane - does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We're going to crash! Oops - is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.

11. This is your captain spreaking: we're about to land, but... uh... does anybody know how? I was kinda weak on that in piloting school...


You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

-You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

-There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

-Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

-When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

-You burn food to see if it smells good.

-You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

-Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

-You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

-You sometimes try to control water.

-You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

-You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

-Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.

-You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.

-You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video
games.

-Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is
a Camp shirt.

-You are a PJO character for Halloween.

-Recite lines randomly from the books.

-When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it
was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.(all the time!Yeah!)

-Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

-You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.

-You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

-You have dreams about PJO characters/events (I always dream about me being a demigod!).

-You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.(I always play with it and my friends scold me)

-That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

-In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"

-You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

-When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"

-You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

-You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies

-And when you flunk said test, you blame Athena's irritation on Percabeth.

- You can never look at a pen without thinking its Riptide

-You're suddenly interested in plastic hairbrushes(especially blue)

-You can never look at a coin the same way again

-You can not look at a tool belt normally

-You blame Phobos for your phobias

-You secretly thank Hades when someone annoying dies

-You are now afraid to use a cellphone

-You thank Hermes for the Internet

-You yell at the doctor for having Hermes' symbol when he is not the god of medicine

-You blame Apollo when you get sick

-You thank him afterwards coz you can't attend school

-You are now claustrophobic

-You ask for blue food in resturants

-You can not look at a thermos the same way again

-You claim that you're dyslexic and ADHD (Even though you're not)

-You try to breathe underwater

-You dream of Nico every night

-You check if the ship you are boarding is the Argo II

-You use PJO in conversations

-You look up the Underworld in Google Maps

-You are listing pros/cons of being a demigod during English/Math test

-You are now afraid of airplanes

-You now like enchiladas

-You try to control elements

-You track down Rick Riordan so you could have the rights to PJO

-You respect eye patches

-You start calling your dog Mrs. O' Leary

-You yell Daedalus whenever someone asks who is the greatest inventor

-You cuss in Greek

-You try to conjugate Latin verbs

-You try to jump on a 100 ft below waterform praying to Poseidon

-You can never look at wool the same way again

-Your dog is now Mrs. O' Leary

-You ask stores if they sell Mythomagic Cards

-You can NEVER look at a guinea pig w/o thinking its Percy

-You have a new interest on emo people

-You like Nemo

-You listen to songs that somehow got connected to PJO

-You hate cows

-You now look like Nemo

-You join rallies

-You are now addicted to peanut butter

-You dedicate Girl on Fire to Leo

-You yell "PEANUT BUTTER" during school competitions

-You keep coins in your pocket just in case you die

-You curse Gaea when you trip on a rock

-You think that every wheel-chaired male teacher is Chiron( You push him over to see if he's a centaur)

-You also think that crippled kids are satyrs( you take away their crutches)

-You warn the bullies that your godly parent will come after them

-You try to talk to fish(even if your biology teacher thinks you're completely mental)

-You are now officially Nemo

-You yell "BURRITO FIGHT"in mexican resturants

-You tell people to turn into iguanas when they can't solve Chinese handcuffs

-You began to respect tofu

-You dress up as a demigod for Halloween (so true)

-You copy and paste all of this to your profile


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.

TEACHER: Manic, what did we say about loud voices?! MANIC: You didn't say anything about drums.

TEACHER: *explodes*


If you have ever ran into a door, copy this to your profile.

If you have had converstations with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy this to your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you hate back stabbers, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have fallen down the stairs, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this


I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart


THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

12. "Ooooops!" to your profile.


Don't follow in my footsteps. It's for your own good. I walk into walls.

Consciousness- that confusing place between naps.

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Einstein

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. -Benjamin Franklin

Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars.

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

What ever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Whatever doesn't kill ME, had better run like heck!

In a British University, a final exam question on Business was:"Define what risk is". The shortest answer ever at one word was :"This." The student handed the essay in and got 100.

Wherever I throw it, that’s where it belongs.

The voices in my head don’t like you.

If I can’t be a good example, I’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

Welcome to the dark side. Why are you surprised we lied about the cookies? But ask Peeta, maybe he made some.

Gravity is the only law I feel compelled to obey.

" Good friends make sure you don't do stupid things. Best Friends not only do stupid things with you, they encourage you to do them."

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. That's what may friend thinks. She always seems to need some when I'm around...

Be yourself, no one can say you’re doing it wrong.

I don’t have ADHD, I just… oh look! A bunny rabbit!

I have ADHS… Attention Defici… Hey! Shiny!

Every time I think I’ve hit rock bottom somebody hands me a shovel.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

Crazy? I was crazy once, I had my own padded room. Then the worms came….Worms? I hate worms, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once…

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”- Albert Einstein

My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.

I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger… then it hit me. I took it pretty hard.

Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish. Why won't the stupid fish drown already!?

Your're so stupid you threw a rock at the ground and missed.

I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone.

Reality seems like a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

I thought you were my knight in shining armor, but you turned out to be a loser in tinfoil.

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead...

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird.

"It's always in the last place you look" Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor". A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. *sniffle, sniffle* she always stuck by me the most

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. Right when you get to the good part of your dream.

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Screw fire and save matches!!

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed. My apple always seems to go off course. Bummer.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Especially when you give them the creepy smile and the quiet snicker.

Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.

Procrastinators Unite! Tomorrow...

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

What do you mean my birth certificate expired?

My mind works like lightning . . . .one brilliant flash and it's gone.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more.

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me.

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. That There was the definition of my life.

If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Be insane- well behaved people never made history.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I'm not random . . . you just can't think as fast as me.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you!"

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and leave life to wonder how the heck you did it.

When life gives you lemons, ask for some water and sugar or your gonna make some pretty crappy lemonade.

When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eyes.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss.

Don't you dare tell me the sky's the limit, when there are FOOTSTEPS on the Moon.

Girls are like phones- We like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button and you'll be disconnected!

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

When in doubt, check a fortune cookie. It is right 5% of the time.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Immaturity is the best kind of maturity.

Relax. Nothing is okay.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do, kill me?

I talk to myself because mine are the only answers I accept!

An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... So HA! Team Basilica forever!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly. As long as it isn't Edward.

The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Dear math I don't want to solve your problems I have my own to solve."

"Some people need a high five... in the face... with a chair."

"It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up."

"Algebra I'm not going to find your X she's not coming back!"

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google

Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7

Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada


A library is a somewhat easy place to annoy the people sitting around you, but for those of you with less then stellar creativity, we have made a list of things you can do...

1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.

2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.

3. While looking at your book, turn so you're facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"

4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like your reading it.

5. Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, "You're one of THEM!"

6. Put down you book, and look at him/her. When they says something like "what?", cut them off by saying "Are you accusing me of something?"

7. Read your book. Upside down.

8. Read your book from right to left. And flip the pages the same way.

9. Flip the page every two or so seconds.

10. Pick up your book, put it down, and say, "Wow. That was a good book."

11. Read silently, and then as if speaking to the character in your book, say, "No, Jim! It's a trap! Don't do it!!" Then turn to the person and reply solemnly, "He did it." when he/she looks at you.

12. Turn to the person and ask, "Have you ever experienced Déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?"

13. Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she looks at you funny, say "Ohh, I'm sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet."

14. Sit down, and then say to the person next to you, "Hi! My name's (_) and I'm really glad to meet you."

15. Ask him/her if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.

16. Ask him/her what species he/she is.

17. Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.

18. Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, "Got enough air in their?" or, "Settle down in there. I'm trying to read!"

19. Ask them what their name is, and then when they start to reply, cut them off by saying, "No it isn't!"

20. Break the silence by making a bodily function noise, then say, "Wow! That was a good one!"

21. Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound, or a beep.

22. Announce the page number each time you turn a page.

23. Constantly shift in your seat, and if the person next to you asked what is wrong, reply by saying, "I'm constipated. Hehe."

24. Spell every single word as you read it.

25. Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.

26. Act like you're picking your nose. And eating it.

27. Snort loudly, and gargle with your spit.

28. Sneeze a lot.

29. Hold your book right next to your eyes.

30. Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and sit back down.

31. Stand up, and continue reading.

32. Make a strange sound every few minutes, then act like you didn't do it.

33. Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it.

34. Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon. Then dig in messily, and crunch on it.

35. Ask them, "Got milk?"

36. Read out loud attempting to pronounce easy words. Butcher them badly. But be able to pronounce hard words.

37. Fall out of your seat, then say, "I meant to do that." Then do it again. And again.

38. Bring a laptop, and turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game.

39. Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is.

40. Bring one of those fans with a squirt bottle attached, and make it look like you re attempting to squirt yourself, but hit them instead.

41. Bring a bottle of squirtable mouth freshener, and miss every time you try to spray it into your mouth.

42. Wear A LOT of putrid smelling cologne or perfume.

43. Spill that same cologne or perfume on their book.

44. Put down your book, then say, "Hey, ya wanna trade?"

45. Bring a recording of very obnoxious music, and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, "IT WAS PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU!!!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!! IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!! ALIENS BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG!!! IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET THEM DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME!!"

46. Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, "I know what you did last summer."

47. Bring a piece of bread, and drop pieces of it down the little hole in the center of the table meant for cords.

48. While reading your book, start humming a single note until you're out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then get back up, and continue reading like nothing happened.

49. Start singing "This is the song that never ends. . ."

50. While placing small pieces of bread in a line, count one, two, three. . ., and lose count every ten or so.

51. Bring a recording of a popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along very badly. Then say to the person next to you, "I took singing lessons!"

52. Turn to the person sitting next to you and say to them, "Hey! How ya doin'? That's great, me too."

53. Instead of a laptop, bring your entire computer!

54. While working at a laptop, suddenly stand up, and announce to every one, "I have mail!!"

55. Start staring at the person, and when you have their attention, announce, "I measure sock by thickness!"

56. Turn to the person next to you, and ask them to pronounce their name backwards. When they ask you why, tell them that you are looking for hidden messages.

57. State proudly that you have been to the "other" side. Give no explanation.

58. Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get back up like nothing happened.

59. Collapse on the floor. Then get up like nothing happened. When the person next to asked what is wrong, look at him/her with an inquiring look on your face, and say, "What do you mean?"

60. Say, "It always starts so weird, and they do it so weird." When they ask, "What?" say, "Ohh, sorry. I'm back now."

61. Start telling a VERY strange story, then half way through say, "Never mind."

62. Turn to them and while pointing your fingers at them as if you were electrocuting them, say, "BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!. . ."

63. Start arguing with yourself. When they ask you who you are talking to, say, "Your just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to ME!!!"

64. Say, "Who's Freddie?" Then act like you didn't say anything.

65. Say, "Argh! My central nervous system in shot! Quick! Give me blue china!!!"

66. Introduce your self by saying, "Hi! I'd like a hamburger, and a green South America please." When they ask what your problem is, say, "Ohh, your not my fairy god mother? I'm sorry, he must have flown into the bookcases. Bye!" and run off.

67. Continuously rub a book while chanting, "Come out, come out. I know you're in there!" When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm calling the book genie out!"

68. Run up to them with a book, thrust it under their nose and ask, "Will you sign my autograph?!?" Make sure you say MY.

69. Get up onto the table, and start acting like a duck. When they ask what you're doing, say happily, "I'm roosting!"

70. Bring a bottle of glue and sniff it while counting down from a very high number. When they ask what you're doing, say, "I'm counting my brain cells!"

71. Stick a "kick me" sign on your back, and accuse them of putting it their.

72. Repeat every thing they say to you.

73. Ask them, "Have you ever had an orange juice bath?" When they look at you strangely, say, "What?"

74. Look up suddenly and yell, "Ohh no!" When they ask you what happened, say, "Nothing." Then do it again.

75. Stare accusingly at the other person, and when they look at you, say, "Where were you on the night of February 32, 1989?!"

76. Look at one page number, then a different one. They say in astonishment, "Wow! The page numbers are in order! Cool! They guy who came up with that musta been a genius!!"

77. Glance over your shoulder every few seconds.

78. Maintain a look of horror constantly, but act normal other wise.

79. Say to him/her, "You have the right to remain silent!"

80. Pat your stomach and say, "Whoa. Human extremities do not settle well."

81. Get a child's book like "Green Eggs and Ham" and complain that there is no glossary.

82. Find a thesaurus and say in complete astonishment, "Wow! Did you know that "affirmative" and "yes" mean the same thing?"

83. Say, "Omph!" like you were just shot, and while smushing a ketchup pack on your chest, fall on the floor. Then get back up like nothing happened. After that, look at your stomach, and say, "What? How'd this stain get here?" while motioning to the ketchup.


37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."


Seventeen things to do at shops

1. Get boxes of extra-small condoms and put them into people's carts when they aren't looking

2. Set all the alarms in House wares to go off at five-minute intervals

3. Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the rest rooms (preferably BEFORE the pissed janitor attempts to clean it up)

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a packet of M&M's on lay-by

5. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in House wares"... and see what happens

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' to a carpeted area

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding section

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?!"

9. Look right into the security camera and use as it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are

11. Dart around the store suspiciously humming the 'Mission Impossible' tune

12. In the Auto-Department, practice your 'Madonna' look with different sized funnels

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the 'foetal position' and scream,” NO! NO! It's those VOICES again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and wait awhile; and then yell -very loudly-, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, GO!


Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned,
and
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help
this
young woman, she decided to go to the
police
station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and
asked if there was anything they could do
for
her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She
had
two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe
in
God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you
no matter what...and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Sometimes one likes foolish people for their folly better than wise people for their wisdom.’ - Elizabeth Gaskell.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this.


If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice-cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming to soccer to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents are to their children.

Then one night she died quietly and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If you love your mom, copy and paste this in your profile. If you don't, then you won't care if your mom dies, will you?


When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity


If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. (But I don't remember...)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile (PJO)

(Uh... Um... Uh... Oh Yeah!) If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace and Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think being unique is better than being cool, you know the drill

If your wondering why I'm wasting my time on my profile instead of writing stories Copy and Paste this to your Profile.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

Copy this into your profile if you were the one flying the UFO that hit the bunny.

92% of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decides breathing wasn't cool. I am one of the 8% that would be laughing hysterically in the background.

90% of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing at the edge of a six story building. Post this on your page if you would be one of the 10 of people who would be yelling "Jump, Jump!"

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. (Sometimes...)

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way. when you criticize them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile. (Uh... Who hasn't?)

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as as weird as you) put this on your profile

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy and paste this into your profile. (For protection?...)

If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile! (Too many... I'm a murderer)

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

copy and paste this into your profile if you ever failed the human identification thing in fanfiction. (They know my secret!)

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile (Or Else!)

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.

Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.

If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "Man that was fun!"

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? (*Stop it. Is* not funny!)

How is it possible to have a civil war? (haha. Opposite redundancy... I get it...)

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... (Or nailing butter to a tree, or tried dribbling a football)

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!


95% of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5% who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.


If you are ready to stand up for what you believe in and not what other people tell you to believe, copy and paste this into your profile


IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER WHEN YOU GROW UP COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"


One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class who was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? I thought to myself. He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I just shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.

So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends, and he said yes. We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscle with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed, and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, and that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation, and I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Sometimes, I was even jealous!

Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach . . . but mostly your friends . . . I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

You now have two choices. You can either, 1. Put this on your profile. Or 2. Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1.
'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'


If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, Lady Alice101, Lmb111514, MoonlightShallPrevail, ZoeandArtyawesomelover

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, Spiritpelt, Swiftpaw of WindClan, rainstorm(mosspath gets really annoyed)mosspath(cos the reviews and etc come 2 MY email!), Emberheart0,Mudfur, Obzezzed, Dragonclaw11, lover-of-novels-aka-Kass247, Lmb111514, MoonlightShallPrevail, ZoeandArtyawesomelover

People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile(Way too many times to count and each time someone either says 'it's the first sign of craziness', 'You're weird you know that, right?", or 'Who are you talking to?')


FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!!

Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), nats10art (USA), DarkAkastukiNeko (USA-AL.), The Waterbender (USA), Joe333(Serbia), Gr4Yr4iN (Australia),GoldPhantom and Z-eion(USA), lostmoonchild (USA), Alice Nyte(USA), MisayaMikoto(UK), somefuckingrandomguy (USA-Serbian), ZoeandArtyawesomelover (Honduras)


Look back there

But please try not to stare

Do you see the bubbly girl

The one with no curls

How do you think she feels

Would it startle you if I told you she doesn't eat any meals

What if I told you she has a knife

Would you believe me if I told you she loathes her life

What if I told you she thinks her dad hates her

Would you still think so little of her

What if I told you she feels like she's drowning

Would you believe me if I told you inside she is frowning

What if I told you she has a rope

How do you think she is going to cope

She doesn't just have a rope, but also a gun

All because she thinks she isn't fun

I know you know her, everyone does

But you need to talk to her cause

What if I told you tonight she would use the rope and gun

And turn into an angel and fly towards the sun

I hope you'd help her and become her friend

And make her stop trying to pretend

Because what if I told you she's reaching for her gun

And that you can save her if you run

This is an original poem by me.

Copy and paste this into your profile if

you're against bullying and child

neglect and abuse! ~FanGirlFreak16


AQUARIUS - The Slut
(1/20-2/18)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES - The Addict
(2/19-3/20)
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO - The Cool One
(7/23-8/22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER - The Smart One.
(6/22-7/22)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits
(11/22-12/21)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- The Irresistible One
(3/21-4/19)
Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS- The Aggressive One
(4/20-5/20)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life
(9/23-10/22)
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN - The Cute One
(12/22-1/19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it..Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One
(10/23-11/21)
Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not
repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One
(8/23-9/22)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar
(5/21-6/21)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships,
Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


A guy and a girl were speeding over 100km on a motorcyle.

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile


Her name was Auroura

She was only five This is what happened

When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk

Her mom was an addict

Her parents kept her

Locked in an attic

Her only friend was a little toy bear

It was old and worn out

And had patches of hair

She always talked to it

When no one's around

She lays there and hugs it

Not a peep of sound

Until her parents unlock the door

Some more and more pain

She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg

A scar on her face

Why would she be

In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear

And softly cries

She loves her parents

But they want her to die

She sits in the corner

Quiet but thinking,

"Please God, why is My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life

For a sad little kid

She'd get beaten and beaten

For anything she did

Then one night

Her mom came home high

And the poor child was beaten

As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly

Grabbed for a blade

It was sharp and pointy

One that she made

She thrusted the blade

Right in her chest,

"You deserve to die You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out

Leaving the girl slowly dying

She grabbed her bear

And again started crying

Police showed up

At the small little house

Then quickly barged in

Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly

Opened a door

To find the little girl

Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad

To go through so much harm

But at least she died

With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)


About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone that she fell...and they believed them.

THEY HURT HER

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post but didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. (They hurt her)

(P.S THIS IS FAKE HAHAHAHHA, oh man)


What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking babe?"

I'm like this are you




"Most people think about age and experience in terms of years, but it's really only moments that define us. We stay mostly the same and then grow up suddenly, at the turning points." - Unknown

"Learn to recognize when speed is not important. Race when being first is important; move at your own pace at all other times. It is not necessary to always strike the first blow, to provide the first solution, or to reach a goal before anyone else does. In fact, it is sometimes vital to strike the last blow, to give the final answer, or to arrive after everyone else." - Unknown

"It's not a sense of justice. Protecting my friends, and finding my own path is how I live life. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. The same way you like to hone your skills and live your own lives, for me too it's simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. That's why I only fight those that pique my interest; it's not justice at all. And if it means being able to protect a friend or becoming stronger, I don't and will not play fair. I'm a dishonest, cheating human being who hates losing." - Unknown

"I suppose it is only to be expected. You have my pity. There is no such thing as "truth" or "lies" in this world; there never has been. There is only plain, hard facts. And yet, all beings who exist in this world take only those "facts" that are convenient to them, and take them to be the "truth". They do so because they know no other way to live. However, for those powerless beings that make up the majority of this world it is those "facts" that are inconvenient for their own self-affirmation that make up the real "truth." - Aizen Sousuke

"Life is a dream of madman.
Why are you scared of this madman?
It's only you." - Unknown

"Good things take time. Great things happen all at once."- Unknown

"In the depths of madness lies the hope of sanity." - Unknown

"One who does not sacriface anything cannot achieve anything."-Unknown

Violence is not the answer. Instead it is a tool we use to draw conclusions and solve problems."-Unknown

"The road to peace is paved with the blood of war." - Unknown

"Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its pupils." -Louis Hector Berlioz

"Revenge is like a ghost... it takes over ever man it touches... its thirst cannot be quenched... until the last man standing has fallen." - Vladimir Makarov

"Real strength is not what you have when fighting for only yourself. When you have something special that you want to protect, only then can you become truly strong!" - Naruto

"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Frank Herbert

We are but men, drawn to act in the name of revenge we deem to be "justice". But when we call our vengeance "justice", it only breeds more revenge ... forging the first link in the chains of hatred." -Nagato-


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Natsu Dragneel the Dual Dragon Slayer by JTZ29 reviews
While searching for Igneel, Natsu stumbled across Valinor, the lightning dragon king. While searching for Igneel, and journeying to Fairy Tail, Natsu will run into several familiar faces along the way. Watch as Natsu becomes the world's first dual dragon slayer. Story will follow cannon arcs, but with my own spin on them. Pairing will be Natsu x Harem. Lemons later in the story.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 45 - Words: 378,709 - Reviews: 1568 - Favs: 3,653 - Follows: 3,800 - Updated: 10/7/2019 - Published: 4/3/2015 - Erza S., Lucy H., Natsu D., Wendy M.
A Dying Romance by Titanking666 reviews
Percy Jackson recently lost his mother, he now has to live at Camp Half-Blood, and now he has to deal with his problem of cancer on his own. But can a certain daughter of Ares, a certain goddess, and a certain huntress help relieve him of his pain and misery before death approaches him? Will he be prepared for the evil that is beginning to rise once again? Only one way to find out.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 33 - Words: 124,324 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 1,076 - Follows: 1,044 - Updated: 9/26/2018 - Published: 6/18/2014 - [Percy J., Clarisse R., Artemis, Zoë N.]
Master Dragneel by digemsmack reviews
Certain things seemed to line up just right to make it so that Natsu wouldn't be able to go to the S-Class exams. It all started with an urgent quest asking for him and from there it went downwards, but Natsu being himself wouldn't let that stop him. Will he be able to keep Fairy Tail afloat, or will it all come crashing down around him? Disclaimer I do not own Fairy Tail.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 40 - Words: 479,047 - Reviews: 1540 - Favs: 2,345 - Follows: 2,221 - Updated: 6/7/2018 - Published: 7/28/2015 - [Natsu D., Ultear M.] Merudy, Kagura M.
Perseus the Conqueror by AlfyreGree reviews
Annabeth died in the fall, leaving Perseus alone in Tartarus. But before one he meets someone who's very interested in him, setting off a whirlwind of crazy with no end in sight. They ask only one thing of Percy: to Conquer. On Hiatus, a very long one. No big clffhanger at the end so you can read if you want, but don't expect updates anytime soon.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 61 - Words: 196,276 - Reviews: 2674 - Favs: 2,790 - Follows: 2,994 - Updated: 5/25/2018 - Published: 9/24/2016 - Percy J., Artemis, Zoë N., Hestia
Cake by SplatterGirl reviews
Natsu is finally S-Class and takes his first S-class mission for a week. Wendy wants to make a cake for his return. NaWen. one-shot. No dedication because you all are special and beautiful.
Fairy Tail - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,671 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 27 - Published: 6/13/2017 - [Natsu D., Wendy M.] Carla - Complete
Alternate Outcomes by Oxus reviews
What If Percy Was Never Executed? What If Zeus Never Planned On Killing Percy? What If Percy Never Met Chaos? What If Instead He Got Put Up With A Certain Silver-Eyed Goddess? Will I Ever Shut Up? Yes, I Will Shut Up. SPIN-OFF Of Chapter 2 Unpredicted Outcomes, My First Story. Guardian of The Hunt. Rated T For Future Plot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,018 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 9/4/2015 - Published: 7/16/2015 - Percy J., Artemis
Reading Lord Perseus Child of Rome by TweetyBaby reviews
Chaos and the Fates decide to test the Olympians. What happens when they get some insight on the future reading Anaklusmos14's Lord Perseus Child of Rome.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 143,057 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 530 - Follows: 484 - Updated: 3/23/2014 - Published: 5/6/2013 - Percy J., Zoë N.
The Completely Original Guardian of the Hunter's Story by ChrysosAurum reviews
The best version of a guauardian of the hunter's story you will ever read. Honestly. Feel free to flame/start a personal revolt I couldn't care less. This is not a personal slight on anybody. Warning; contains swearing.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 844 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/1/2013 - Percy J., Artemis - Complete
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The Search of a New Star reviews
Percy was never a son of Poseidon, but a son of the Universe. will this give more pressure to our beloved character for him to succeed? will the decease of his beloved stop him from protecting what is his? will his friends be able to warm the cold heart of Percy before he loses himself to darkness? will his son be able to stand against what's coming for him? 7 way Harem. review!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 46 - Words: 224,713 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 843 - Updated: 8/17/2019 - Published: 5/2/2015 - [Percy J., Zoë N., Bianca A., Artemis] - Complete
Shadow Guardian reviews
Percy betrayed by Annabeth goes suicidal. In a twist of events Percy somehow ends being the Guardian of the Hunt. Will he go completely insane living with the man-haters? Will the Eternal Maiden fell in love with Percy because she thinks he is hot? Will Percy be able to beat the enemy with no previous background? Will Percy be able to finally find peace? No ordinary or Sane story.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 62,133 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 12/4/2018 - Published: 5/2/2016 - Percy J., Artemis
Percy Jackson and the Daughters of the Death God reviews
Annabeth cheats on Percy and Frank cheats on Hazel, this draws the dumped pair together through the Giant War. what happen when Percy dies? what happen when he returns with alien stuff and a gorgeous sister of certain Death daughter. what does the prophesy means? do i ever shut up? Does this even make sense? discover it when you're tuned up in my channel
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 51,968 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 9/12/2017 - Published: 6/4/2015 - [Percy J., Hazel L., Bianca A.] Chaos
Indecision was my Decision reviews
A self-serving story for me, the author. Don't even try to read it cuz it even confuses me. That was a pretty crazy day...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,461 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/14/2017 - Bianca A., Percy J., Artemis, Silena B. - Complete