Author has written 373 stories for Harry Potter, RENT, D N Angel, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica: 2003, 1984, Smallville, Mass Effect, Fullmetal Alchemist, High School Musical, Animorphs, Shakespeare, Naruto, Clue, House, M.D., Matrix, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Dragon Age, Inception, 1776, Truman Show, Doctor Who, Twilight, Breakfast Club, Community, Pirates of the Caribbean, V for Vendetta, Count of Monte Cristo, Law and Order: CI, Torchwood, Rocky Horror, American Horror Story, Sherlock, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Alcatraz, Star Wars, Ringer, Dr. Seuss series, Borgias, Thor, Avengers, Snow White and the Huntsman, Quantum Leap, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Dallas, Law and Order, Luther, Downton Abbey, Person of Interest, Grimm, A Christmas Carol, Les Misérables, Les Miserables, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Into the Woods, Sleepy Hollow, Vampire: The Masquerade, Kingdoms of Amalur, Insidious, 2011, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Psych, and Big Bang Theory.
Oh god, that sounds cutesy...
I am a part of the Authors Against Perfect Original Characters Society (AAPOCS). If you are too, copy and paste this into your profile!
R.I.P Uchiha Itachi
Note: If you're going to PM me and would like to get a reply (maybe you have a question or request) then you either need to have PMs enabled on your account, provide an email address for me to reply to, or have a story I can reply to in a review. If you do not then you just aren't going to get an answer no matter how much I might feel like replying. You'd be surprised how many people ask questions they can never get an answer to that way...
Other Note: So I've recently noticed how many things from my profile have been just copied and pasted into the profile's of other people. As I'm usually not mentioned, that's not really a good thing. I mean, even some of the quotes that came from my friends are on other people's profiles and I'm nearly positive that they don't know these people. It's also a bit disconcerting seeing something that I came up with like the 'Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight' (sometimes shortened to ten) mentioned as being taken from someone else. If you're going to take something that I've done without asking, could you at least mention where you got it? I really don't think that's unreasonable.
"With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!" Adrienne, quoting MTV.
Prisoner: I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors.
Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool.
"No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the childrens menu I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it"
"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."
"Oops. My sword slipped." Hiei, destroying the Chapter Black video.
"Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity," said by Hiei to Kuwabara, the one living in a constant haze of stupidity.
"There are two things you can't avoid in life. Death, and chickens." Tanner.
"Oh great, my alien looks like a guy in a turban!" My friend Reshma (some interesting people I hang out with, huh? And it really did look like a guy in a turban. That was my idea. We made masks in art class.)
"He's taken off with a fixated ghost! That totaly violates the laws of the underworld. Ew he's so reckless!" Botan
"YUSUKE YOU IDIOT! So tough! For freakin' BAD-Ass... AND YOU DIE IN TRAFFIC! That's a wimps death! I didn't raise no WIMP! moron." Yusuke's caring mother, Atsuko.
"I don't want a shot! I don't want a shot!" Goku, DBZ
"That's okay Joey, you don't have to say anything mushy," Mai, Yu-Gi-Oh (Yes, Joey, please, whatever you do, if you love Mai at all which you do, but that's beyond the point, DON'T SAY ANYTHING MUSHY!)
"It's an acorn, dumbass!" Mai, an O.C. in a YuYuHakashu story.
"It was about as unbelievable as if you had fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you," Rutherford, a scientist in the 1900's, of his gold foil experiment.
""We're on a grail quest. Who better to help us than a knight?" Robert Langdon, the Da Vinci Code. Answer: ANYBODY! But that's just my opinion.
Okay, apparently Barbie had a little sister, Midge, who used to live in the Dream House with Barbie. Then she disapeared. My friend Jessie has a theory on this. "Ken got Midge pregnant so Barbie kicked her out of the Dream House, but she forgave Ken 'cause she LOVES him."
Another Jessie quote- "Have you ever noticed that Ken doesn't seem to have a job? It's always Barbie. It's like Ken's being paid by Barbie's parents to play with her!"
Also from Jessie: "Barbie has a new career every week. Astronaut, rock star, teacher, president...She's like 20!"
"Alcohal-the cause and solution to all lifes problems," Homer, the Simpsons.
"They killed Kenny. You bastards!" Kyle, South Park.
"In case you haven't noticed, we're not in bloody England!" Carla, whenever someone gets mad when she keeps saying Bloody Bugger. But then, given how often she says those two, chances are we'd get mad no matter what she said in place of those two.
"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely," Lord Acton.
"We all have sufficient strength to endure the misfortunes of others." -François, duc de La Rochefoucauld
"If there must be troubly, let it be in my day, that my children may have peace," George Washington.
98 percent of teenagers have either drank alchohol or done drugs. If you're one of the 2 that hasn't, post this on your profile.
92 percent of the teen population would be DEAD if Abercrombie & Finch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you'd be one of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
"The British have been oppressing us for too long by keeping us dependent on them for drugs! But now, we're pulling one over on them! Now we're starting to make our OWN drugs! We're cutting them out of the picture entirely!" -Me, who is Irish, to my friend Edith, who is Chinese.
"The British outlawed the sales of opium in their own country, but legalized its sale to China." -My history teacher "Well, that was thoughtful." -Edith
("Jesus is standing in your room and he asks you to point to one thing in your room that would show him what you are looking for in life." -Robin, my Church-Leader-Person
"Uh, Jesus." -Me
"All excellent answers! Now, is Jesus real to you?" -Robin
"Obviously. He's standing in my room." -Me)
"There's no such thing as a stupid question. Only stupid people asking questions."
"There's no such thing as a stupid question. (someone asks question) I stand corrected."
"Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?"
"Good to see you, Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here...I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence."
"No, I don't have a gambling problem. I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem." Earl (My Name is Earl)
"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Winston Churchill
"If Lana doesn't want to be labeled a vengeful psychopath, then she really needs to stop trying to kill me," Lex Luthor, "Therefore I Am" by P.L. Nunn
Lana's smile bloomed, this graceful, grateful thing that Clark couldn't help but smile back at. "Quality Time" by P.L. Nunn
Ianto didn't think he'd ever seen anything more awful than a five-year-old being brave. "Get Loved, Make More, Try to Stay Alive" by dsudis
Thranduil smiled that smile of his, silent and mysterious like a flower blossoming at midnight. "Theft" by Erinye
General Fanfiction Pet Peeves That's not to say I won't read a story that includes one or stop reading it if it starts, but it does get really annoying. To repeat: using one or more than one of these are not necessarily deal-breakers for me.
Boy likes girl, girl doesn't like boy, boy sexually harrasses girl until her hormones overwhelm her and they date Honestly, people: No means no. Just because teenagers have raging hormones and respond to guys who keep touching them or making out with them does not mean that they really secretly like them. This applies to boy on boy, girl on boy, and girl on girl, too, but I've encountered more boy on girl stories like this. I'd actually really like to see one where all of this happens except, at the end, the boy finds out - much to his surprise - that no really does mean no and the girl has hooked up with someone else who doesn't feel the need to constantly molest her. I mean, if nothing else how can the relationship have anything to do with trust or respect when he won't respect her boundaries or let her have a say about whether the relationship will happen or not?
Hero realizes he must get stronger, gets girlfriend, and the two of them become the most powerful people who ever lived despite being teenagers I'll give the hero a little slack here since they usually had an advantage to begin with, but just because the hero decides he likes a girl and she likes him back, why does that necessarily guarentee she's going to suddenly get superpowered? And if the training is just something along the lines of 'ran, sparred, and practiced spells/ninjutsu/insert appropriate series magic here' for a few hours over the summer...seriously, now you're ready to take on people who've been training for years? Lame. And very boring.
Couple gets together and are blissfully happy, sometimes going on vacations where they are just so blissfully happy I suppose that technically there's nothing WRONG with this but...it's so incredibly BORING I really can't stand to read very much of it. Add some flaws, some drama...even some humor! And one of them being embarrassed because they are teenagers and find the other so incredibly attractive doesn't count. I get they're happy. If nothing but pure happiness is going on and it's not a one-shot or the last chapter, then why in the world is the story still going on?
Next generation fic Again, nothing really wrong with this but...I wanted to read a story about the characters we know and love, not their precocious little brats. But then, I don't like OC's (for the same reason...I already care about the existing characters and OC's steal focus away from them) at the best of times and the kids usually play a big role in the stories and are either whiny, amazingly talented, or attempting to be 'cute' and failing.
OC love interests Dear God, if a character is evil and going about killing things with no regard to anyone else because of a tragic past, a sociopathic personality, or just because they can that means they have problems. Big ones. It does NOT mean that they simply haven't found the right girl/boy who is the only one to understand them and can 'heal' them. If the evil character in question does decide to give them a chance, it's an abusive relationship waiting to happen, not the Mary Sue redeeming the bad guy through the power of love. This story type is especially awful if it DOES become an abusive relationship, the Mary Sue sticks it out anyway, and the evil guy feels bad and stops so they live happily ever after.
Harem Fics Maybe it's just that I'm a girl from a monogamous society, but that's always come across as rather sexist to me. The girls each only get one guy but the guy gets all of them? And he's so amazing that they don't mind sharing despite also often coming from a monogamous society? And he is so modest that it's the girls' idea and he has to be 'persuaded'? Seriously? Just...yeah... And because I've gotten some comments saying 'Oh, well what about Naruto? He can clone himself hundreds of times so each girl might as well be his only love interest as he can spend an infinite amount of time with her!' It's funny; I really wasn't aware that the reason that people want monogamy was because they are afraid that their LI won't be able to spend enough time with them if said LI is seeing multiple people. In other words: yes I do still have a problem with Naruto harems and it was actually Naruto harems that I found so inescapable that I added this to the list. The reason it's not under 'Naruto Pet Peeves' is that it annoys me just as much when, say, Harry Potter does it and I've seen plenty of harem stories from other fandoms as well.
A is in love with and dating B but because B is either of the same gender or not 'good' enough for A's family, A marries trophy wife, something happens to said wife, years later A and B are back together A may not feel like they have a choice because they have obligations or want kids or whatever, but they DID have the final say in leaving B. That A would still love B all these years later I can believe because A loved B at the time of the split, did not love their wife, and so over-romanticized when they were happy together. That B still loved A, I suppose I could even accept in the 'pining after lost love' sort of way. That trophy wife - who may even be a really good, likeable person and love A - conveniently dies off leaving A with children/a company/ whatever reason he had for marrying her in the first place and he goes back to B? That shows that B has so little self-respect that he or she would accept him back after all these years, showing that A could basically do whatever they wanted to B and 'love' would carry the day...that's usually written as a happy ending to the story, but I don't think it is. B REALLY needs to move on with their life because they invariable deserve someone who won't make them wait years if not decades to get together. I suppose the story could play out with A being a girl, but I've yet to see it nor do I read Yuri.
A likes/loves B but B refuses him. A forces sex on B and in the middle of it B decides this is what he/she really wants after all. Rape is both immoral AND illegal and just because B's body might be having a physiological response doesn't mean they are secretly enjoying it. It doesn't matter whether B really DOES want to be with A because no means no either way and A needs to respect that. That these stories usually have A and B end up a couple after that night without A having any consequentions for their actions, admiting they were wrong, B being at all traumatized...hell, even the appalling rape as drama fics would be better if B was so traumatized they went along with A. But no. B honestly has no problem with what happened and is happy with the way things turn out. Seriously, there are no words...
Arranged Marriages It really makes the pairing inorganic because once the couple is married, they are left with only three options: a) live life miserable and alone even though they are married b) have an affair, which really isn't fair to whoever is involved but not part of the marriage, particularly if love is involved or c) the married couple falls in love. Yeah, C hurts less people and does make everyone happy in the end, but the couple don't get to choose one another, it is forced on them and I just really hate the whole concept. Would it really be so difficlt for the pair to get together of their own free will? And if the marriage is arranged because they already like each other but don't realize/won't admit its mutual? Their well-meaning family and friends would do better trying to get them to admit it than forcing them into a relationship.
Infidelity Stories Yes, I know fanfiction lets you get away with things that in real life would make you a horrible person but...I can't stand it. I don't care if you loved someone for years but are trapped in a loveless marriage, are in an arranged marriage, cannot be divorced, it was just one time, hormones overpowered you, you were drunk...it's a bad idea. I don't like it and I can't ever be pulling for the cheating pair no matter how true their love is or how awful the spouse is. And no 'my hormones made me do it' does not justify it. Likewise, if the main couple are married (or even just dating) and one of them cheats on the other then I cannot support that couple finding their way back to each other. I don't care if it's drama, it's just far too distateful for me to want anything to do with it.
Nicknames Now, this is probably the biggest example of something that bugs me that doesn't mean there's something wrong with a story. Nicknames are used all the time in fiction and in real life. I get that. I'm not saying that people who use them or horrible people or stupid or whatever. I just cannot stand nicknames with very, very few exceptions (Lily instead of Lillian and Alex instead of Alexander, for instance).
Stories that outright say 'it was worth my life being destroyed because now I have a boyfriend/girlfriend!' Okay, it should be pretty clear by now that I'm hardly a romantic so maybe it's just that romantic sentiment is lost on me but...damn, that is shallow. Your rape/exile/death of everyone you know/various life-ruining scenarios is something that you feel was necessary and wouldn't change if you could because you found a love interest? A big strong man/hot chick is now more important than anything and everything else? I get that love makes you exhibit OCD-like symptoms at first but upon reading someone coming to this realization I really lose all respect for them. How CAN you respect such someone that shallow? It's not only fine but a good thing to try and salvage something good out of a bad situation but to decide that your love interest makes everything worth it? Are these people hormonal teenagers now or something?
Stories with chapters that are less than, at the very least, 1.5K I know that, logically, there's no difference between a 10K story that's a one shot, a two-shot of 5K chapters, ten chapters of 1K each, or twenty chapters each with 500 words. That said, it just drives me crazy to have see the chapter size and the word count in thousands close to each other. Note: this does not apply to stories that are less than 1.5K total or stories that are more a series of vaguely related scenes or prompts than anything else. Since shorter chapters are just things that I personally don't like to read, though, and not a sign of a lack of quality I don't think that should I ever write shorter chapters that's hypocrisy on my part. I'm not judging shorter chapters or insisting that anything is wrong with them, it's just a - as the title of this list suggests - pet peeve of mine.
Person A starts dating Person B and decides that they know what's best for them and start running their life It actually doesn't matter if it is what's best for them. What annoys me is when someone (usually the LI but not always) starts forcing a character to do something and they just go along with it. 'Oh, it's too dangerous for you to go alone so let's bring me and a dozen other people', 'Oh no, you're sick so you're going back to bed', 'Oh, you're upset so even though you have valid reasons for people not to know I'm here I'll just reveal myself so I can comfort you and ignore how freaked this will make you,' ect. If you're in a relationship with someone and concerned, express your concerns to them and try to convince them to change their mind. Do not start treating them like a disobedient child and take away their choices. It's far too controlling for my tastes.
Stories with a 'forgotten' character It could be a 'forgotten' Marauder, a 'forgotten' Animorph, a 'forgotten' shinobi...I hate it when people add new characters to a story (in general, really, but this is worse) and claim that they're forgotten. Like the character is in the story and it all really happened...but for some reason no one ever mentioned them ever. People just didn't care or forgot. It's really, really stupid and seeing story summaries advertising 'Meet Mary Sue the forgotten _' annoys me to no end. If you're going to insert a new character, fine. Why make them 'forgotten'? If no one felt the need to talk about them before as they were 'forgotten' then guess what? It was probably for a reason. Namely: they just aren't as memorable and awesome as you think they are and maybe they should be left forgotten.
Threesomes I know that the characters are all fine with being in such a relationship in these stories but I just don't like those kinds of stories. Maybe it's the growing up in a monogamous society thing again but it just really does not appeal to me in the slightest and not only are stories labelled as that generally ones I won't read but if it occurs without warning in a story then that actually runs a higher risk for me stopping reading the story.
Significant Age Differences Between A Couple The younger the people are, the bigger a deal this is. For instance, a thirty-year-old with a forty-year-old probably wouldn't bother me at all but a sixteen-year-old with a twenty-one-year-old definitely would. I know these kinds of things happen in real life and I know many people are fine with it but, personally, reading about it weirds me out so I try to avoid it. (Oddly, Lupin/Tonks from Harry Potter has never weirded me out despite the thirteen year age difference. I have no idea why that would be an exception)
Stories that have AU events that don't make sense If the premise of the story is that X happens instead of the Y that occurs in canon, I prefer it when the only changes that happen in the story are things that follow naturally. Say in the actual canon someone has a chance to get together with their LI early in the story but miss it and only end up with them at the very end. If the story has them take that chance then obviously there will be changes but if an alien invasion occurs that did not occur in the source material then it really should be caused by the couple getting together or any of the events that occured because of this change. If the point is to see how things would have changed if the couple got together then throwing in random changes might keep the story interesting but it's also very frustrating. It's no longer 'What if A and B got together earlier' but 'What if A and B got together earlier and there was an alien invasion and C's cat turns into a person who falls in love with D and...' On TVTropes there's something called 'For Want Of A Nail' where one small change has a ripple effect causing massive changes. It's one thing if something is an outright AU but if it is billed as a 'For Want Of A Nail' story where one thing changes, the fascinating thing is seeing how such a small event (like a couple getting together earlier) can change so many things. It can influence other relationships, plots being discovered, ect. but it's highly unlikely that it would lead to an alien invasion, especially if the author doesn't even bother trying to make it a consequence of the minor change.
Overly depressing stories Don't get me wrong, I am just fine with angst. Iin fact, I'm rather found of it. I just prefer that stories end reasonably happily. There's no real reason for it; it's just what I prefer reading. If a story is finished and it looks iffy I might look to the end and see if it's sufficiently cheerful but there's not much you can do with an iffy in-progress story but hope for the best.
Review Pet Peeves (Though please note I'm not telling you you CAN'T leave this kind of review because that would be stupid and it's not like I could stop you.)
People telling me that just because I happen to read a story that uses one of my pet peeves or have written one myself I'm a hypocrite Seriously, what is with that? I've made it clear that none of the things on this list are a deal-breaker and most if not all of them don't necessarily make something a bad story. If I write a parody about one of them, that is certainly not hypocrisy and say I decide to write a story with general shorter chapters like with my prompt series. That ALSO doesn't make me a hypocrite because reading shorter stories wouldn't annoy me any less and I'm not telling anyone that they should write longer things to accomodate me. This is just really stupid of some people who overuse the word hypocrite.
People telling me that I should change fandoms because they don't happen to follow it Okay, seriously. I switch fandoms, it happens. It's fine if someone wants to say that they wish I hadn't or mention that they don't follow my new one but please don't tell me to stop writing for my new one. Clearly, I'm happy with whichever fandom I'm focusing on right now and it's really not my problem if you're not familiar with it. Also, please stop reviewing stories for fandoms you know nothing about to say 'go back to X fandom.' It's very annoying.
People telling me that my story was good but not as good as such-and-such story Unless I say something like 'my story is the best ever' or 'my story is better than such-and-such story' then why do people feel the need to correct misconceptions I wasn't aware that I even had? And unless fanfiction writing has suddenly turned into a contest I don't need to know that their story 'beat' mine. I mean, really, what possible purpose can be served by qualifying liking a story by saying it wasn't your favorite ever? Unless you specifically say that it was your favorite ever I'm not going to assume that it was.
'This chapter wasn't as good as...' Okay, so maybe in a ten chapter story, chapter ten wasn't as good as chapter nine which wasn't as good as chapter eight which wasn't as good as chapter seven which wasn't as good as chapter six which wasn't as good as chapter five which wasn't as good as chapter four which wasn't as good as chapter three which wasn't as good as chapter two which wasn't as good as chapter one. Do I need to hear about it every chapter? Really? Unless the chapters start sucking, it's fine if you like one better than the other without feeling the need to consistently let me know. Unless the point is to discourage me from updating it at all because you fear that at the rate of quality degradation soon the chapters will become too bad to force yourself to read, there's really no point in telling me this, particularly if that's all you say and you can't even be bothered to explain why you feel that way.
Reviews or PMs that leave questions but no way to respond Okay, I'm going to assume that if someone asks a question then they want an answer. I would usually like to give an answer. If you leave an anonymous review without also leaving your email address or leave a signed review but have disabled your PMs and don't have an email address available then I can't do that. It's particularly annoying when I've put thought into the answer and really want to be able to answer it or someone wants my permission to do something with one of my stories. Newsflash: you're never going to get it if you do not give me a way to contact you!
People who don't like stories and insist on mentioning it for every. single. story. If you don't like my style of writing, that's perfectly fair. Letting me know in a review or two? Also fair. Letting me know in 10-20 reviews in the time span of 3-4 hours? Really? If you haven't liked any of the first five, chances are you're not going to like any of the others so complaining about the EXACT SAME THING over and over again is just really annoying and not at all helpful.
Reviews that mention they liked a story but it was nothing great Okay, you are free to form your own opinion and you may even be right. If you liked a story then why do you really feel the need to issue backhanded compliments like that? Seriously, it's just rude. Unless I am claiming that the story in question is truly spectacular then you can safely assume that I'm not arrogantly assuming it and thus do not need you to come along and humble me.
Reviews for the last or near-last chapter that make it clear that they read the whole story and hated it Okay, if you want to waste several hours of your life reading something you can't stand, that's your business. You would think, by the time you got a few chapters in, that if it was an 'okay' story but my portrayal of the main character was the 'worst you've ever seen' and it 'failed as a humor story' which was the whole freaking point of the story then you'd realize that there wasn't anything left for you to like so you don't have to tell me all about how much you hate every aspect of it during one of the very last chapters that you apparently must have been a masochist to even read in the first place.
Reviews telling me I don't like a character Seriously, it's ridiculous. Many of my stories are humor ones that involve one or more characters not being the most logical people in the world, yes. Just because I have one character (let's go with Hermione from Harry Potter) and explore why something they say/do/think is ridiculous (say, how Hermione goes about SPEW) does NOT mean I automatically don't like them and a review saying "You really don't like Hermione" is not appreciated and I think I'm a much better judge of which characters I do or do not like than you are.
'Correcting' things that were only revealed after something was written Some of the fandoms I've written for (such as Naruto) are still ongoing. If I write something one week and then a year later, it's revealed that this couldn't have happened because of some new information revealed then I will probably be aware of it. Just the same, as it was perfectly valid when it was written I don't really feel the need to go back and change it. I also don't see why people have to tell me why it's impossible based on this brand new information that no one knew when it was written. Is it just a matter of not checking the date and thinking that this was written since the reveal and therefore I'm not aware of the reveal? This is just like bashing Harry Potter stories written before six because Voldemort was killed without destroying any of the Horcruxes except the diary. I work with the canon that I have available and any subsequent revelations will only affect future stories as I see no reason to obsessively rewrite everything.
People recommending something I've written on the Dark Lord Potter Forums I know that people can do what they want but whenever I realize that something new is up there I always give into the temptation to see what they have to say and it is always the same. The person who recommended the story said something positive about it followed by virtually anyone else who responds to it calling it a waste of time, unoriginal, uninspired, basically the same story over and over again, fill-in-your-own-insult. I know that people can say what they want but I never get feedback nearly as depressing as what the people there say and they never seem to like anything I do so it seems like a lose-lose situation.
Reviews asking me to warn people about the bashing of a character I didn't end up bashing A lot of what I do are parodies. Sometimes they are parodies of the source material and sometimes they are parodies of common fanfic types. I'll give an example of what I mean. Say in the source material a character tries and fails to prevent another character from becoming a traitor. Say there are a lot of fanfics about the character succeeding and then promptly gets exiled for injuring the would-be traitor in the course of bringing them back (well, they're not coming back voluntarily...) and the girl the hero likes but who likes the almost-traitor rejects the hero because when she asked him to save the traitor she didn't mean that he should harm a hair on his head in the process. If I write a parody about the absurdity of the entire situation and the girl cheerfully rejects the hero because of this, that is not me bashing the character. I know that she would never do that in the source material and it is a parody about the situation. No one's really acting rationally or in-character in that situation but plenty of fanfics are written about it nonetheless.
Reviews telling me a chapter is 'short.' I usually have an average length I try to make each chapter of a particular story. More often than not, that length is 3K. If I have a shorter chapter that comes in at, say, 2.5K then it would be a shorter chapter and if you absolutely must point this out then knock yourself out. If a chapter is, in fact, no shorter than the rest of the chapters then please refrain from suddenly deciding that it's short for whatever reason and letting me know this. Annoying reviews are infinitely less so when they happen to be accurate.
Being told that I 'over-analyze' or 'suck the fun out of' things I don't think it's a secret that I like things to make sense. That said, I don't sit around trying to brainstorm ways in which a source material does NOT make sense. If I point out that it doesn't in some way in a story, it's just the result of it randomly occuring to me while I'm reading/watching and I don't see how something that I'm spending so little time on could POSSIBLY be over-analyzing. Maybe some of the things that occur to me aren't things that would occur to others but that doesn't mean I'm spending the time to over-analyze it, just that different things might occur to me than do other people. As for sucking the fun out of things...I do feel that my story summaries give a decent idea of what is going to be in the story. If you are going to read something that outright says it's going to take a more logical approach to a canonical situation and then decide that doing so is taking the fun out of things, it's not like you weren't warned.
Being told about the "logic" of certain pairings I don't write about romance in general so I'm not sure why this keeps coming up. Still, I don't think that you can logic yourself into loving or not loving somebody and so giving me reasons why X/Y is more logical than X/Z isn't going to change X's feelings or make me like one pairing better than another. Logic can be used in whether or not a couple is functional or good for each other but not how they feel. It can be the most logical thing in the world for X and Y to love each other but if they don't then they don't and listing off a million reasons why they should won't change that.
Harry Potter Fanfiction Pet Peeves
Seeing as how there's more HP fics on this site than any other type by at least two times the second hightest one (whatever that is), I've read quite a bit of them, and found some things that tend to annoy me to no end.
Pairing people up for the sake of pairing people up I'll admit that I'm a Neville/Luna fan and one of the few bits of evidence from the books (because they're in it so little) for them is that out of the six people who go to the Ministry, Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione just leave those two, but in some cases, it goes too far. Such as, say, when in a Harry/Hermione fic Ginny and Neville decide they're madly in love for no real reason except Ginny needs to get over Harry so as not to cause any awkwardness. Same for fics deciding Ron wants to be overprotective about Ginny, going so far as to absolutely refusing to allow his best friend to date her, despite heavy hinting at the end of book five that he wants her to choose Harry, and Hermione and Neville get together. That's not to say I have a problem with unusual pairings, just the obessive need to make sure the story ends with all the main characters dating someone even when it doesn't necessarily make sense.
Dumbledore/McGonagall In addition to the recent "Dumbledore is Gay" thing (which, I'll confess, I never saw coming. I just figured Harry wouldn't be privy to the Headmaster's love life if he even had one at that age...) I understand that they're both old. However, they are 44 years apart, and just because they're both old doesn't mean that there is no difference between someone who is in their seventies and someone who is well over a hundred.
The General Portrayal of Peter Pettigrew in Maurader Fics In the Pensieve memory in book 5, granted, it has Pettigrew being a bit slow. (I mean, not knowing the signs of a werewolf? Come on!) Still, though, having Sirius constantly harass him just doesn't seem to be very realistic, considering that Sirius trusted Pettirgrew with the Potter's safety over Remus. Also, he can't possibly be obviously evil/ a death eater because he's not really a malicious person. Just a very weak one. Either way, at Hogwarts, under Dumbledore's protection, there's no way Voldemort could have gotten to him yet. Besides, what would be the point? He only ever learned anything once he joined the Order, after graduation. And then there are those fics that have Sirius, James, and Remus all being incredibly close, and Peter just being off on the sidelines. More of a casual acquaintance. Remember, regardless of how horrible his betrayal was, they put him in the position to do that because they trusted him and counted him among their closest friends.
Fics written after the release of DH that have Lily-Snape animosity Snape loved Lily. The two of them were close friends up until that OWLs incident. That's just the way things are. I can't stand it when people have Lily only try to help him because she hates James. She'd probably stop any bullying she saw because she had a moral problem with it, even if she wasn't close to him. Additionally, I don't think Lily ever hated Snape, she just couldn't support his choices and so cut her ties. Still doesn't mean she'd support bullying him or pranking him.
Soul Bonds I get that Ginny is Harry's "one true love" or whatever. So maybe, once they are old enough, it wouldn't be so bad. But really. Having a soul bond from, say, the Chamber of Secrets events is a bit...much. She's turning twelve, he's not even thirteen. They haven't really gone through puberty and there is no way that Harry or Ginny will be ready for this. They won't be able to have a crush on anyone else and when they are mad at each other it's painful? People always get mad at each other but that shouldn't make it physically painful. That's just not very practical. Plus, Ginny, at this point, is nothing special. She's just another first year who happened to be the daughter of a prominent Death Eater's political rival and therefore had a traumatizing first year. At this point she is still just another Harry Potter fangirl who Harry has reason to believe would join a Harry Potter fanclub. The only thing that would set her apart from every other Harry Potter fangirl out there (and there are plenty. Romilda Vane, anyone?) is the fact that Harry happened to ask her mother about the platform and her brother couldn't find another compartment. It has to wait until they are older and Ginny outgrows her hero worship.
Time Travel Fic Romances Now, make no mistake, I am incredibly fond of Time Travel Fics. I love how Harry can have a much-improved schooling experience and the changes are always amusing. Few of the TTF writers seem very fond of Snape, though...Anyway: Unless the love interest also comes back, romances between Harry and, say, Ginny are a little...Odd. To say the least. I mean, he's thirty and she's ten and that has got to be some sort of pedophilia. And he starts treating her like she's the love of his life and not just another fangirl, which is what she is at this point. And even if she wasn't, she's barely into puberty and not exactly ready to be tied down to a commited relationship at the tender age of ten. Worst is when, because Harry is married when he goes back, that means Ginny is automatically married, too. At the age of, with luck, eleven. Seriously, I can't really believe that Wizards wouldn't have found a way to avoid being married without ever realizing it. Otherwise they could accidentally get married, then fall in love and try to get married and find they couldn't and it would just be a mess... Note: I have a time travel story where Harry is in his twenties and Ginny starts off as ten. Harry does miss his wife, yes, but that doesn't mean he's going to try and date a preteen as in his eyes she's still a child while he's an adult (mentally if not physically). Hopefully, this will be enough to assure the people who've read this and then get concerned about the potential pedophilia when they start reading "Oh God Not Again!"
Blatant Over-the-top Character Bashing It's perfectly fine for a parody to go all out. For a character that Harry doesn't like it's acceptable, so long as it's not over-the-top. For instance, Ron might be immature, but then, he's eleven. It doesn't mean he never grows up and will continue to act like he's eleven all the way up until he's seventeen. He might have some jealousy issues, that doesn't mean he's a horrible person. Snape might be horrible to Harry, but Harry's horrible back and doesn't actually try in Potions. And engineered a potentially lethal potions accident so Hermione could steal from him in second year. Either way, if Snape were that obviously evil, Dumbledore would have noticed it. Dumbledore may be old and doesn't like to tell anyone anything if he can help it, but he obviously cares about Harry. When Dumbledore learned how Voldemort came back, he knows Harry won't have to stay dead and he tries to help people by manipulating them, not just because he gets a kick out of it. And he's NOT unreasonable. If Harry can give him a better option, he'll take it.
Harry goint to an alternate dimension and having a little sister The problem with this is that, yes, Harry's sister will have known him her entire life, but he will probably be very different, considering the vastly different upbringing. Also, he wouldn't act as overprotective as Ron towards his sister he barely knows and, say, punch out a guy she's dating who he doesn't approve of. Also, he needs time to get to know her, not just automatically accept that they are related and act like they grew up together.
Lily and James reading the Harry Potter books and Lily deciding to go out with him because they apparently have a son together. Yeah. She really does. She doesn't even seem to suspect that James is just trying to get her to go out with him or it could have been from an alternate dimension, or anything. She thinks that since they have a son (who they both are completely enamored with and act like parents who have known him his entire life instead of complete strangers), they must be destined for each other. Oh, and they all spend book three dumping on Sirius for supposedly betraying them, and then turn around and forgive Peter when it turns out it was him because by then Sirius has gotten through to them that they can't blame him for something that never happened. Did I mention the Unbreakable Vow Peter usually ends up taking to not betray them which would mean that the events in Harry Potter never happened and so therefore are not any indication of the future and why does Lily just jump at the chance to date James?
Anything involving reading Parseltongue Okay, snakes don't have a written language. Snakes don't have any limbs. It's not possible for them to have a written language. It is not possible to have written Parseltongue. It just isn't. Also, if a language is written down then why wouldn't other people be able to at least read and write it even if they can't speak or understand it? Just...the whole idea of written snake language is so very absurd.
Harry's scar disappearing when Voldemort dies Yes, I know it's a magical scar. I know it's a Horcrux. I still really hate the idea. It's a scar. It's can fade over time - or if it's no longer a Horcrux - and be less noticeable but to disappear entirely? It just seems really unrealistic and very annoying. What's the point of Harry's scar disappearing anyway? It's no longer at all harmful. Do people think he looks better without it? Is it a futile attempt to let him be less recongizable? Once he kills Voldemort that's kind of a lost cause.
Stories that say Sirius is in Azkaban for betraying the Potters and gets cleared by proving Pettigrew was the Secret-Keeper I've seen it done time after time after time. "Oh, Sirius betrayed the Potters and so now he's in Azkaban." No. Sirius supposedly killed Pettigrew and twelve muggles. In fact, don't just take my word for it. Here's an actual quote from the actual book where Fudge is explaining about the Fidelius Charm. "Not many people are aware that the Potters knew You-Know-Who was after them. Dumbledore, who was of course working tirelessly against You-Know-Who, had a number of useful spies. One of them tipped him off, and he alerted James and Lily at once. He advised them to go into hiding. Well, of course, You-Know-Who wasn't an easy person to hide from. Dumbledore told them that their best chance was the Fidelius Charm." Then, since it's an obscure and complex bit of magic that practically nobody has heard of, he goes on to explain it. If people could prove that Pettigrew was really the secret-keeper then maybe people would stop viewing him as a hero but that wouldn't free Sirius since he'd still have supposedly killed Pettigrew (if that hadn't been revealed yet) and the twelve muggles.
Ginny being declared to look just like Lily I know that there are a lot of people out there who don't like Harry/Ginny and that it's canon. If Ginny were to look freakishly like Lily then that might make it weird for Harry to date her. Of course, since he doesn't even remember her I would call it a coincidence if that were the case but it's not. Why are Ginny and Lily assumed to look like twins anyway? Lily is described as having dark red hair and Harry's green eyes. Ginny has flaming red hair and brown eyes. So basically...they're both women with red hair, albeit different shades. If that was how similar that someone had to look to someone else's parent in order to make it weird for them to date then there would be a lot more single people in this world as most of the world has dark hair. If Harry isn't to end up with Ginny then he isn't to end up with Ginny but surely there are better reasons for this than the fact that Ginny looks as much like Lily as Harry does Hermione.
Veronica Mars Fanfiction Pet Peeves
Lilly alive but not friends with Veronica If Veronica could be friends with Lilly for years and years without realizing that Lilly was a horrible person, chances are, she's not a horrible person. Just probably a nymphomaniac. Veronica wouldn't turn her back on Lilly just because she was sleeping with Aaron, although they would definitely have a huge fight.
Logan and Veronica are secretly in love with each other, not the Kanes Pre-outcast Veronica was perfect for Duncan and probably would have annoyed Logan as a girlfriend. Besides, if they were both madly in love with each other, why didn't they go after each other...before the Kanes did? And didn't Celeste only tell Duncan about the possible incest when it looked like they were getting serious? Why would it have appeared like that unless they really liked each other? And why would Logan let Lilly keep making a fool of him unless he loved her? Caitlin Ford cheated on him once and she was immediately and unceremoniously dumped, so he can't just not mind it.
Piz and Veronica That's actually a bit harder to justify, since technically it's canon, but...They weren't planning on ending it after Season 3! Those two aren't ACTUALLY supposed to be together, just another thing to keep Logan and Veronica apart for a bit. I mean, he's too naive for her. Can anyone really see Veronica dating a guy who leaves his car with all his worldly belonings unattended and, what's more, actually hands it over to the "Welcome Committee" that no one else has ever heard of without a second thought? Me either.
Logan defending Veronica after Lilly's death and becoming an outcast himself Considering that he was the one who turned the school against her (with Duncan just flat-out ignoring her, which was more because they were exes than anything else), he probably could have lessened the ostracizing if not outright stopped it. And I think he really only turned the 09ers against her, the rest of the school mostly just went after her because the 09ers dumped on everybody and she was one of them who had suddenly fallen from grace and who the others wouldn't defend and so the rest of the school could feel like they were getting back at all of them but attacking her. That's just my interpretation, but I can't imagine why the rest of the school would be that upset about Veronica siding with her dad over the 09ers as she wasn't "betraying" THEM.
Naruto Fanfiction Peeves
Hinata likes Naruto who is oblivious until he sees her naked one night but doesn't see the face and tells everyone (including her) how hot the girl is Honestly, it's just ridiculous. Naruto is oblivious granted, but just because Hinata is the first naked girl he sees (and why does Hinata keep getting caught naked? The girl's a ninja with super-eyes! And what's with the training naked anyway?) doesn't mean that he's automatically going to be in love with her and since he never appears to make the connection, it just comes off as a cheap gimmick. And no one ever believes Naruto because he hits his head or she disappears or something of that sort. Besides, usually this happens before the timeskip so they're twelve! Has Hinata even hit puberty by that point as Naruto's so overwhelmed by her? And if it really takes Naruto seeing a girl naked to realize that it's 'twu wuv' than that really hurts both his character and hers by making him shallow and basically objectifying her. I realize that this was part of the anime but it's just filler and as filler has brought us such gems as Tsunade charging her gambling debts to Konoha's personal account and Team 8 finding a brilliant way to track down Sasuke but Naruto ruins it because he farted and the bug imprinted on that scent instead of Sasuke's, I feel that the less said about filler, the better.
Sakura, for whatever reason, taking training more seriously and becoming more powerful but STILL tying with Ino in the prelims If Ino isn't getting any stronger than she was normally and Sakura is, how does it make any sort of sense for them to be perfectly evenly matched? I know it's better for their relationship if they tie, but still, it just seems like a cop-out.
Everyone blames and hates on Sasuke for being revenge-obsessed without attempting to help Seriously. His beloved older brother just brutally murders almost everyone he knows, tells him he's pathetic, tells him to seek revenge, and then tortures him with 72-hours of nonstop carnage. This is an eight-year-old kid all on his own with nothing else to do, really. Yeah he makes some really stupid choices and is really obsessive, but if no one is around to offer any sort of guidance and just expects him to 'get over it'...that's just not going to realistically happen, is it? Of course, if people do consistently try to get through to him and he wants nothing to do with it, that's another story...
Naruto brings Sasuke back after the Valley of the End and gets exiled for nearly killing him Sasuke was trying to defect from the village! To go to Orochimaru! Who just killed the Third! I get that most people had massive Uchiha-love, but the council (who would, I suppose, be responsible for such matters) were all fully aware of what pricks they all were and knew all about the whole attempted coup! Additionally, why on Earth would they banish their resident jinchuuriki (who, as the nine-tails, was technically the strongest) so not only would he not be protecting them but he might even turn against them?
Naruto leaving and Hinata being reduced to even more pathetic than her first appearance Okay, so Naruto helps Hinata regain her confidence and she gets stronger, got it. However, having Hinata be so obsessed with Naruto that she becomes embarrasingly timid and weak is just...gah! Show some backbone! You can't base your entire self-worth and abilities on whether one rather oblivious boy likes you or not! If you do, you really don't deserve him as he can get along just fine without you and you apparently can't manage to function without him.
Pro-Itachi stories that villainize Sasuke for hating him Don't get me wrong: I love Itachi, I really do. Sasuke, however, has plenty of reasosn not to. Especially because he's never seen any of the extenuating circumstances, tragic backstory, his moments of kindness/politness to the other characters...when Sasuke's around, Itachi immediately starts acting like a sociopath. And that's the POINT. Itachi really goes out of his way time and time again to ensure that Sasuke hates him so that Sasuke won't: a) become too emo to live b) realize what really happened and hate on Konoha and c) have to live with the consequences of the attempted coup and can be a hero. What that the best plan? Maybe, maybe not. Did it help to make Sasuke really unbalanced and lead him to become seemingly incapable of making rational decisions? Yes. Sasuke shouldn't get a free pass for all of his idiocy starting with his defection by any means, but any character who knows the truth of what happens hating on Sasuke because he doesn't know is kind of missing the point. Itachi has proven that he would literally rather die than have Sasuke find out the truth and if someone (especially someone you trusted) just murdered your entire, huge family when you were a child and then hospitalized you, it's not unreasonable to not start looking for a way for him to be a good guy. Even if he totally is.
Characters becoming ANBU I understand just how important it is for a village to have ANBU and that they are an elite group and so joining is a mark of strength. Just the same, I rather think that actually being an ANBU would be awful. Think about it: you're not allowed to even really tell people that you're in ANBU and you have to perform all sorts of horrendous and especially traumatizing missions that other ninja don't like assassination and torture. Again, yes these people are necessary but I really don't want to see beloved characters have to go through that sort of hell. Joining ANBU is really not a good thing. Remember, ROOT is a branch of ANBU. A really over-the-top extreme branch, true, but still part of it. Joining is choosing to purposefully screw yourself up far more than the average ninja has to go through. It's a horrible job but somebody has to do it and some feel it is a duty of theirs but for it to actually be seen as a good thing? Not so much.
Dragon Age Fafiction Pet Peeves
The Mistress Ending I am well aware that Dragon Age is based off of the medieval period. I can also appreciate that back then mistresses were considered pretty par for the course for the nobility and royalty. I also know that today, at least in my culture, the very concept of a mistress has all sorts of negative connotations. I tend to feel that the Hero of Ferelden (particularly if they are a noble themselves) is above being Alistair's dirty little secret. I simply cannot get into the proper mindset. I KNOW he loves his mistress but I also know that sometimes that just isn't good enough.
Giving Up Your Titles Duncan says at some point that becoming a Grey Warden means that you give up all claim to your past. Everyone assumes this means that Grey Wardens are not legally allowed to hold titles. I'm not convinced that this is the case or that it is actaully enforced by anyone but the Wardens. I mean, it certainly doesn't seem to hurt Alistair's chance of being King, you can become Queen/King, you can become the Teyrn/Teyrna of Gwaren, you ARE Arl/Arlessa...and even the Grey Wardens in the Anderfels aren't against you having titles and are really pulling for you as they want the WC in other countries to have titles. And why wouldn't you be allowed to have a title? Because you kill darkspawn? It's not like anyone even knows about the blood magic ritual that might make them a bit uncertain. Yes, Grey Wardens on the whole are supposed to be a neutral organization but that doesn't mean individual Wardens are.
Dying to Avoid Cheating There are many reasons to avoid the Dark Ritual. Not trusting Morrigan, feeling the God Baby will be more of a threat than the Archdemon, not being able to deal with blood magic...your love interest is not a reason. Say you are romancing Leliana or Zevran and do not want to cheat on them with Morrigan and so die instead. Leliana either commits suicide or returns to Orlais and you know what that means. Zevran is incredibly broken as well and ends up leading the Crows but never loving again. Does that really sound like they appreciate you staying true to them? You can't even talk to them about it and see if they'd rather you die than spend a night with Morrigan? If they do, of course, I'm not entirely sure that's a healthy kind of love. And then there's if you're a female Warden romancing Alistair. If you turn down the ritual because you can't bear to think of another woman touching him for one night to save your life...how freaking selfish can you get? You know he loves you and your death will destroy him and Morrigan outright tells you he'll die in place of you. You would put him through that and honestly claim to love him out of petty jealousy? Turn down the ritual if you must be do not claim you're doing it for the one you love.
DN: Romancing Gorim, romancing another party member, then getting angry when he gets married If you're going to stay single and try to find him in Denerim then you can feel free to be upset. If, however, you're already happily romancing Alistair then you've just become the pot. He didn't wait and that is upsetting but neither did you. Say he had stayed single and wanted to resume your relationship. Would you dump Alistair for him? If yes, you were just toying with him. If no, then you've moved on too and you don't get to play the victim.
DN: Romancing Gorim, letting Alistair get you over him very quickly, and then pining for Alistair forever when he dumps you/dies Okay, you can either be the kind of person to pine or you can be the kind of person that doesn't. Assuming you loved both characters then being upset for all of five minutes about Gorim's marriage and then realizing how awesome and handsome and funny and charming Alistair is and moving on is, well, kind of quick and makes your feelings for Gorim seem a little shallow. Then if your relationship with Alistair ends because he's King/dead and you spend years pining after him to the point that if he wants to resume your relationship years later you're still passionately in love with him...it dos not follow. This is really the same if you're a DE and loved Tamlen, a mage who loved Jowan/Cullen, ect. At some point you're either a piner or you aren't.
Female PC Romancing Alistair is dumped because he's King and/or Loghain was spared and then years later they meet up and are still passionately in love Okay, seriously. I get that it's supposed to be romantic and that they are soul mates or whatever but...years upon end? Sooner or later you need to get over each other or you're just going to be miserable forever. It's not healthy to pine for, say, five years and not get over it in the slightest and so immediately want to jump each other when they see each other again. That's obsessive and you need help not to get back together with them! In real life, you know you'd need a lot of therapy if you were still that unable to move on after five years. Why is that any different in fiction?
HNF doesn't make herself Queen at Landsmeet, is dumped, and years later Alistair makes her Queen This is especially awful if there no conveniently dead mother-of-Alistair's-child. If Alistair dumps her because he needs an heir and she can't give him one then it's not because he loves her any less. If a few years pass and he realizes that 'OMG I love her so much that I need her as my wife!' then the heir situation is not cleared up and marrying her is just as bad idea it is now as it was a few years ago. And if they haven't seen each other why are they so passionately in love after all this time?
Saintly Wardens Maybe I could buy a Cousland being so perfectly sweet, innocent, loveable, the epitome of goodness...but some of the others? If they were that nice then not only do I highly doubt they could have been raised in their environment but how on earth did they survive long enough for Duncan to come across them? To each their own but it just doesn't ring true to me. Also, by 'Saintly' I mean characters that never do anything really questionable (bar the Loghain and Dark Ritual decision), are all sweetness and light, everyone loves them...I've had people think their Wardens fall into this who really don't even vaguely resemble it. Basically, if your Warden has sociopathic tendencies, stabbed someone and faked their death 'for their own good', ect. then I think it's safe to say that you do not qualify.
Aeducan/Alistair Don't get me wrong, the DN is my favorite origin I just really, really hate the pairing. With a passion. Sure 'the exiled princess and the bastard prince' has a nice ring to it but...I can't stand it. Maybe it has something to do with my love of DN's-returning-to-Orzammar and the Alistair romance really gets in the way of that? Of course, these princesses often seem to hate Orzammar as it is, so I guess they don't really see it as a sacrifice but...DO NOT WANT. It's really a shame that so many of the few Aeducan stories involve this pairing so I'll have to put up with it if I want to read anything about a DN at all...or I could just keep writing non-romantic DN stories of my own. :P
The Warden deciding to spare Loghain and then changing their mind once Alistair objects I know Alistair hates Loghain. I get it. I know he has reasons and that you can have reasons as well. I also feel it's unfair to blame everything that went wrong in the entire disaster that was Ostagar on him and that much of Alistair's issues concerning that are survivor's guilt. That said, there is the outlawing GW, making them scapegoats (although to be fair, he doesn't know that you didn't deliberately light the beacon late because you're Orlesian spies), poisoning the Arl, sending assassins after you, just generally inconveniencing you as you try to stop the Blight...all of which are very good reasons to hate him. Still, if you're like 'I can look past it and want to make Loghain a Warden' and Alistair responds with his 'But he's evil, remember? KILL HIM ALREADY!' and you do then that really bothers me. It's one thing if you get caught up in the 'I spare people' thing and honestly forgot what he's done but if you yourself would have spared him had Alistair not let you know that he was against it and you kill him because Alistair's after his blood? Killing a man who has surrendered to appease a party member just seems really, really petty.
Default Names I know that it's easier to use than making up your own, you might like the name, and it ensures that everyone instantly knows who you're talking about but I just really can't stand seeing them used. I especially hate the HNF default 'Elissa' and as that's the most common default name I've seen used in fanfiction here (it's EVERYWHERE) it can get really old, really fast. There's nothing wrong with using them, of course, it just happens to drive me crazy just like whenever the Warden has a non-default name I don't like.
Dying because you were dumped I'm really not trying to trivialize how upset the Warden romancing and dumped by King Alistair would be. I think choosing not to do the dark ritual and to do the ultimate sacrifice merely because you can't go on any longer as a poor, single person is kind of pathetic. Real people handle worse every day and there's nothing noble about 'sacrificing yourself to save everyone' if you're doing it because your in the middle of some godawful teenage angst.
The general hatred and lack of sympathy for Goldanna Okay, I know that Alistair is a very popular character. I know that Goldanna makes him sad. But all this Goldanna hate is ridiculous. People get upset at Goldanna just for not immediately believing some random stranger who claims they are related. And then there's the fact that you're not even trying to understand Goldanna's position at all. Yes, Alistair had a lonely life and just wants a family but Goldanna doesn't know any of that. She specificially says that Maric forced himself on her mother and, regardless of what actually happened, that is clearly what she believed. She was a child with no father to speak of and now no mother. She believes the cause of death was childbirth. Yeah, she's blaming the wrong person here but it's understandable that she'd displace the blame. Then there's the fact that she was run out of Redcliffe with just one soveregin (at best, since they just say coin) and has no family, no job, nowhere to live...she's just a child so what, exactly, is she supposed to do? She eventually makes do but she would have been poor and poverty-stricken all her life, left on her far too young...what was Alistair's childhood like? He didn't live like a Prince (which she doesn't know, again) but has he ever gone hungry? Has he ever had no place to go, no idea of how to make ends meet? No. Eamon didn't treat him the best but he did take him even and even when he ditched Alistair he was taken to the Chantry and his needs were taken care of. If Goldanna has spent years blaming Alistair for the loss of her mother (her mother that she can actually remember which is worse than just 'oh, I had a mother and she died') and what she sees at the ruin of her life and she's to blame because Alistair's insecure and has an overly idealistic view that family automatically equals unconditional acceptance? It was a bad first meeting but Alistair gives up far too soon. Don't give her money or have him promise to take care of her and he calls her a shrew outside and clearly has no intention of seeing her again. She's despreately poor, may or may not have a second husband we know nothing about, has five children to support, a crap job...is it so surprising that she's bitter? And then if the Warden has the gall to say something like 'Oh, if not for me and Alistair you'd be dead so you owe us your life'? Goldanna doesn't know that AListair is even a Warden but even if she did this is before he becomes King/stops the Blight so what has he done to save her? Absolutely nothing. Had this taken place after the Blight had ended you could argue that. Alistair and the Warden have done nothing to save her no matter how many treaties you've fulfilled as the darkspawn haven't even reached Denerim and so they haven't found themselves in need of saving. And how is a non-Warden like Goldanna supposed to realize that GWs are the only ones who can stop the Blight when when it's such a big secret and even Alistair who was a Warden for six months didn't know? Many people think that Wardens being mandatory is an exaggeration and they just happen to be the best at killing darkspawn. Her not immediatley rushing to take Alistair into her arms and take away all his pain and insecurity hardly makes her a bad person or a bitch. He had unrealistic expectations and gave up too soon for anyone to believe he was making an honest effort. He's just 'so, I'm here, I'm your brother, love me!' and when she's all 'why should I?' he dismisses her as a waste of his time.
Contrived Reasons to Stay with the Wardens If you want your Warden to stay on as an active Grey Warden then that's fine but please don't give a hand-waved explanation as to why. 'Oh, my Dalish clan technically exiled me because otherwise I would die' is not a real reason. They did it to save your life and would gladly accept you back. 'Oh, I'm a dwarf that has been to the Surface and was exiled so I can never go back' isn't one either. Your exile was cancelled and you're a hero and soon-to-be Paragon so of COURSE you can come back. 'Once you become a Grey Warden, you have no choice but to stay one forever' is also not a reason since Alistair feels free to leave the order to become a King or a wandering drunk, Anders leaves either to teach at the Tower or just in general (although for the second one he is caught by the Templars so for a mage I can understand their need to stay with the Wardens even if they don't like them), Nathaniel can decide it's 'not for him' and leave for parts unknown, Sigrun can go back to being a member of the Legion of the Dead, Velanna can go off wandering somewhere. If the Warden is a mage worried about Templars that's one thing (although I'm not sure the Hero of Ferelden has much to worry about) and if they're not then they can feel that they've changed too much to fit in back home or simply don't want to return but it is a choice and not a matter of not being able to.
Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic Pet Peeves
Light Side PCs refusing to acknowledge that they're Revan I know that in the game once you find out who you are everyone basically treats the identity of Revan to mean the PC being a Sith but that's simply not true. Whether you have your memories or not, you ARE Revan and reading 'I'm not Revan anymore. I am whatever-name-the-Jedi-happened-to-pick' is incredibly annoying. It's like Revan has decided to reject her entire identity just because she happened to be a Sith for a few years when she was so much more than that. Whatever-name-the-Jedi-happened-to-pick doesn't exist. Revan does and she needs to come to terms with it. "I'm not Revan anymore"? Yes, yes you are and you can't change that.
The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight (which given that other people have put it on their profiles I should probably mention was something I came up with)
1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.
2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.
3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.
4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.
5. Author Stephenie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.
6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.
7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.
8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.
9. . When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.
10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.
11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.
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