NEW! Check out my story on Fiction Press under the same username.

Hullo! Jak (Yak), at your service. She/her.

For the stalkers: My eyes are brown. Good luck stalking me.

For those amazing people who are insane enough to read my profile: I like you already. Seriously, I'm amazed that someone is nice enough to read this.

Please be aware that I have not been particularly active on FF dot net for many years now. I can more easily be found on AO3.

For people who venture into the unknown and decide to like my writing: Thank you! I love you!

Some other random things that go here:

I'm weird and slightly crazy, if you didn't notice already. I'm more of a reader than a writer; I'm still growing into my writing. I do write lots and lots and lots of reviews though! I'm not strictly eligible to beta but I would love to occupy that position for you in an unofficial capacity outside of the realm of fanfiction dot net, so contact me if you so desire. I specialize in spelling, grammar, and plot inconsistencies. I am also known as Jannechoke of the ArtichokeTwins on Wattpad and Fanfiction, a collaboration that currently has nothing published. Check us out. We have absolutely nothing published, but...that's ok and temporary probably permanent! I can now be found on Archive of Our Own (AO3) under the same name as here. Hit me up, homie! Why are you still reading this? Anyway, moving on... Fandoms I am involved in include Supernatural, NCIS, Alex Rider, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, One Hundred Cupboards, Uglies, Leviathan, Chronicles of Narnia, the Underland Chronicles, the Wormling, and the Rats of NIMH, to name a few. I can see eye to eye with people over many ships in many fandoms. That enormous number of favorited authors and stories? Yes, down there. Yes, there are a lot, but they meet certain strict criteria that includes making me laugh, making me think, blowing my mind, or striking me dumb with awe. They are not there for no reason, so if you need a good read, look no further. I also don't favorite writing below a certain grammatical and spelling error line. Because it's really no good to publish a story if no one can understand what that sentence was supposed to be. The reason there are so many stories I love and favorite? Because I read a lot. As stated above, I only favorite stories and authors above a certain standard, but I read enough to generate a long list of stories and authors above that standard. I almost ALWAYS leave reviews on the stories I read here. I believe authors deserve feedback for their writing effort, whether good or bad, though I do try to include a bit of good if I leave a negative review. Don't be surprised to see my name in the reviews section of a story. According to my Fanfiction legacy user stats, I have published significantly over 1,000 signed reviews, a fact of which I am very proud.

If you have ever run into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile. Walking and reading is all about the peripheral vision, people. But sometimes sign poles and walls can still take you by surprise.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. Talking to yourself is not a sign of madness, but rather has been scientifically proven to help your brain function more efficiently.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this information to your profile. These make awesome passwords because no one but you understands.

eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc, sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era ouy fi

Six truths in life:

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it.

3 And discover that it's a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu...Cue Mycroft Holmes floating in with Mary Poppin's umbrella and proper Nanny McPhee warts and teeth.