Checkerboards
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Joined 10-08-04, id: 683674, Profile Updated: 04-24-13
Author has written 45 stories for Batman, Batman the Animated Series, Portal, and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Salutations! I am the one known as Checkerboards.

I try to keep to a schedule of updating my stories on Wednesdays. I've recently started up a tumblr at that hosts a variety of things, including some short stories that I haven't posted here. I also now have a handful of Batman music videos on YouTube featuring the Joker and Harley Quinn, the Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, the Mad Hatter, and Talia al Ghul.

If you're here to read "Get Out of My House!", a tale of wacky fun about the Riddler, you might be happy to know that it's the first of many in a series! The order is as follows: "Get Out of My House!", "Housemates", "Home Sweet Home", "Homesick", "Playing House", "Home is Where the Heart Is", "Beach House", "Housebreaking" and "The Big House".

And if you're in the mood to read about an original villain's misadventures, I urge you to check out my stories about Sorrow. They are, in order, "Origins", "Breaking", "Shattered", "Reciprocity", "Reinventing", "Rejoicing", a cameo in "Beach House", and "Empathy".

Aside from that, most of the other stories stand alone in my little universe - with the exception of my crossovers, which stand alone in a field on a planet far, far away from the rest of this craziness in lands where just about anything goes. Crazed AIs with a thirst for Science? Happy little headcrabs? A wall of femurs? You betcha!

Let's talk reviews for a minute. I absolutely adore getting reviews, as I'm sure every writer does. They make me very happy, they give me incentive to keep writing, and sometimes they even give me new ideas that take stories in fabulous new directions. However, my time is so extremely limited that at this point, I've got two options - write stories, or reply to reviews. If you ask a direct question, I'll try to answer it, but that's about all I can promise at the moment.

Oh, and DC owns most of the characters used below, and I'm just borrowing them for a bit to give them a little adventure or two. Yeah, that's it. 'Borrowing'.

Speaking of DC, while you read these stories, bear in mind that I don't completely integrate my stories into comics canon. The Gotham my stories take place in is a Gotham that's never had an earthquake or a plague or a massive gang war or any of the other stuff that's gone down in the past few years. (It is, however, a Gotham where ridiculous things happen on a daily basis, because let's face it - every city on earth is a place where ridiculous things happen on a daily basis. Why should Gotham be immune?)

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical may be madness. To surrender dreams, this may be madness. To seek treasures where there is only trash...Too much sanity may be madness, and maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be." - Miguel de Cervantes

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Lost To The Night by Esther-Channah reviews
Sequel to Locked Inside the Facade. Bruce languishes in Arkham while Dick wears the Batsuit.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 130,866 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 2/11/2008 - Published: 11/9/2006 - Bruce W./Batman, Richard G./Nightwing - Complete
The Unkindness of Ravens by Twinings reviews
All things considered, it was still not the worst Christmas ever. -CATverse 1.1-
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 44,511 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/26/2006 - Published: 12/11/2006 - J. Crane/Scarecrow, Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2754 - Favs: 6,849 - Follows: 511 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Boarding House reviews
The sequel to 'The Big House'. The Riddler and Jackie have escaped and are finally free to live life any way they like. But of course, no sane person really likes being a henchgirl...
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,954 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/23 - Published: 8/26/2015
Baby Blues reviews
Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now!
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,238 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/8/2013 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Empathy reviews
-Sorrow 7- "Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too? Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief?" - William Blake
Batman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,448 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/1/2013 - Published: 4/24/2013
All Together Now reviews
One, two, three, four, all the rogues behind cell doors. Five, six, seven eight nine ten, caught again. Black, white, green, blue, where there was one now there's two. Pink, brown, yellow orange and red in bunk beds!
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,656 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/10/2013 - Published: 3/13/2013 - Edward N./The Riddler, J. Crane/Scarecrow
Two's Company reviews
Misery loves company...right?
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Pendulum Swing reviews
What has two sides and flies without wings? The Riddler's about to find out...
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,694 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Bruce W./Batman, Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
The Big House reviews
The sequel to 'Housebreaking'. Jackie and the Riddler have moved to their new address: Arkham Asylum. Between the noise, the cold, and the occasional orderly with a vengeance, it's not looking like a good idea to hang around for very long. But getting out of Arkham is the easy part...
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,918 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/6/2013 - Published: 1/23/2013 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Housebreaking reviews
The sequel to 'Beach House'. All play and no work makes for a very bored supervillain. Is Gotham's newest henchgirl ready for her first heist?
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,793 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/24/2012 - Published: 9/11/2012 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Rejoicing reviews
-Sorrow 6- "If thou sorrow, he will weep; if you wake, he cannot sleep; thus of every grief in heart he with thee doth bear a part." - Richard Barnfield
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,707 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/5/2012 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Going for Broke reviews
Ah, Arkham Asylum, the place that Gotham loves to hate. But Arkham's out of money! What schemes will unfold to keep Gotham's least loved landmark in business?
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,368 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 11/2/2011 - The Joker - Complete
Beach House reviews
The sequel to 'Home is Where the Heart Is'. Eddie and Jackie are getting away from all their problems with a nice trip to the beach. But some problems never go on vacation...
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,600 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Occupational Hazards reviews
What is the Hatter if he isn't mad?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,929 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/8/2010 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Jervis T./Mad Hatter - Complete
Reinventing reviews
-Sorrow 5- "The error of one moment becomes the sorrow of a whole life." - Chinese proverb
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 32,786 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Complete
Worth a Thousand Words reviews
Riddle me this, riddle me that, who is the man inside the Bat?...oh, it's Bruce Wayne. Wait, what?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,434 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Bruce W./Batman, The Joker - Complete
Three Rogues and a Baby reviews
Who knew babysitting could be this much fun? *CAT*
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,584 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 12/14/2009 - J. Crane/Scarecrow, Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Child's Play reviews
It's never too late to have a happy childhood...with a little help from your friends, of course.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,972 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Poison Ivy, Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Dashing Through the Snow reviews
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to run from the cops on Christmas Day!
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,274 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Medical Help reviews
Dr. Crane, meet Dr. Horrible. Dr. Horrible, meet Dr. McNinja. Dr. McNinja, meet Batman. Readers, meet impending crossover insanity.
Crossover - Batman & Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,633 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 9/12/2008 - J. Crane/Scarecrow, Dr. Horrible/Billy - Complete
Trick or Treat! reviews
It's Halloween, and that means another fiendish plot from the Scarecrow! Of course, with his luck, it's bound to be mostly trick and very little treat...
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,537 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/30/2008 - J. Crane/Scarecrow, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
If reviews
What does it take to be a villain? Apologies to Rudyard Kipling.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 277 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/29/2008 - Complete
Home is Where the Heart Is reviews
The sequel to 'Playing House'. The year in Gotham is drawing to a close, but Jackie and the Riddler have some unfinished business with certain acquaintances...and each other.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,264 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/16/2008 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Reciprocity reviews
-Sorrow 4- We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. - Kahlil Gibran
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,136 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Freak Accidents reviews
Tentacles, polymorphs, and mutants! Where does Gotham get those wonderful freaks?
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,396 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Dinner and a Show reviews
Lights! Camera! Joker!...oh, this can't be good.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,621 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 26 - Published: 8/12/2008 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Shattered reviews
-Sorrow 3- There is no greater sorrow than to be mindful of the happy time in misery. - Dante Alighieri
Batman - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 30,032 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/4/2008 - Published: 5/22/2008 - The Joker, Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Cake or Death? reviews
The Riddler finds himself locked in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Crossover with the video game Portal.
Crossover - Batman & Portal - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,076 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Edward N./The Riddler, GLaDOS - Complete
Playing House reviews
The sequel to 'Homesick'. Thanksgiving is a time for family togetherness. But how do you tell your family that your new job is henching for the Riddler?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,713 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Breaking reviews
Sorrow shared is sorrow halved. -Sorrow 2-
Batman - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,407 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/8/2008 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy - Complete
Green Eyes reviews
Everybody wants to rule the world. Well, Ra's al Ghul and Poison Ivy do, at any rate. Too bad for them that their plans didn't account for everyone's favorite lovesick assassin...
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,926 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/29/2008 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Bruce W./Batman, Talia al Ghul - Complete
Origins reviews
O, sorrow! Why dost borrow heart's lightness from the merriment of May? - John Keats -Sorrow 1-
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,517 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/19/2008 - Published: 1/28/2008 - Complete
Homesick reviews
The sequel to 'Home Sweet Home'. The lairs are destroyed, there's a trio of women out for blood, and the Riddler's in Arkham. What's a henchgirl to do?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,256 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Edward N./The Riddler, J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Animal House reviews
Pets are wonderful. But for Harley Quinn, sometimes hyenas just aren't enough...
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,869 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/24/2008 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
The Craven reviews
Jonathan Crane has an encounter with a certain grim and ominous ebony figure. A parody of Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven'.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 31 - Published: 1/21/2008 - Bruce W./Batman, J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Time Crisis reviews
The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.' Unfortunately for Gotham, Einstein was all too right.
Batman the Animated Series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,180 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/10/2008 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Complete
Home Sweet Home reviews
The sequel to 'Housemates', in which Jackie and the Riddler learn why copycats are dangerous, why heists are not spectator events, and why skipping dessert is always a good idea.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,376 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/31/2007 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Edward N./The Riddler, Harley Quinn - Complete
The Night Before Christmas reviews
What would Santa give the Scarecrow? A parody of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas'.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 17 - Published: 12/26/2007 - J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Housemates reviews
The sequel to [Get Out of My House!] Jackie's survived her encounter with the Riddler...so far. But he's not the only rogue in Gotham...
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,707 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/10/2007 - Published: 11/28/2007 - Edward N./The Riddler, J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Grim Grinning Ghosts reviews
It's Halloween, and TwoFace's henchgirls demand entertainment in the form of a haunted house. But they're not the only ones taking advantage of some seasonal fun...
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,778 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Two-Face, J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Go With A Smile reviews
The Joker and Harley Quinn are on an unexpected vacation...in Valkenvania. Oh, God, what have I unleashed upon the world? Crossover with the movie 'Nothing but Trouble'.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,343 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/21/2007 - Published: 11/5/2007 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Get Out of My House! reviews
Q: When is the Riddler's lair not a lair? A: When it's someone else's apartment.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,583 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/3/2007 - Published: 10/15/2007 - Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Gotham at Night reviews
You haven't heard the real story until you've heard it from the sources themselves. Chapter 11: Scarecrow
Batman - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,198 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/14/2007 - Published: 4/13/2005
Masque's Off! reviews
Ah, Halloween. Time for candy, parties, and total psychological meltdowns courtesy of Jonathan Crane. What could be better? The party planners of Gotham have some ideas that the Scarecrow's not going to like...
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,967 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/10/2007 - Published: 10/5/2007 - J. Crane/Scarecrow - Complete
Breaking the Ice reviews
Victor Fries: convicted felon, mutated scientist...loving husband? What will life be like now that Nora's out of the tube and healthy again?
Batman the Animated Series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,683 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/8/2007 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Complete
Three's a Crowd reviews
A dummy, a puppet and a pawn, served up warm with a twist of Cyrano de Bergerac.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,288 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/10/2005 - Published: 12/2/2004 - Complete
Don't Throw Stones reviews
Poison Ivy's going up against her most unlikely foe ever...Mother Nature.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,382 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/7/2004 - Published: 10/27/2004 - Poison Ivy, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
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