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Poll: Who's your all time favourite classic or 'real talent' actress? XxX If I forgot anyone, please message me and let me know. If I agree with you, I'll add her to the list of choices XxX Vote Now!
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Joined 10-09-04, id: 684241, Profile Updated: 03-03-08
Author has written 18 stories for Harry Potter.

Meryl is my shiny and new cell phone! And she needs to be welcomed into the MP/AS family where there is no disowning or sad stories -looks over to a certain friend (-cough-Anna-cough-) and then laughs-
(Me: "Hannah, where's Meryl?"
Hannah: "On the window sil by my bed!"
Meryl Streep: "Where the hell am I and how the hell did I get here??")

GODDAMNIT!! Meryl fell into a bowl of cereal and died. That makes it TWELVE cell phones that I've gone through since 2003! And in order to compell my new phone not to short circut, throw itsself in front of a moving truck, jump off of another two story building or drown in my cereal, I've named it (with the aid of my grandmother, also known as Voldemorticia) Survivor.
No relation or copyright infringement intended towards the reality TV show that I happen to hate with an immense passion.

(Just a little note to Ashly Potter: I think I win on the longest profile ever contest! Thus you lose!Hee-hee!) - 2003

Yeah... I've kicked your ass, Fawkes. lol - 2008

And, Fawkes; If you happen to go on this profile (for god knows why), PM me and tell me your username. lol I've since forgotten and I want to see if my profile is actually longer than yours or not... I'm just assuming now. lol

I am just some randomperson that is obsessed with AD/MM pairing. (Not no mores!) I have a billion AD/MM's, (That will never see the light of day because I'm waaaaaaaaaay too lazy to type them.) so you'll be seeing those. (Yeah... In your dreams) Tee-hee. I do LE/JP sometimes, but right now I only have one. Just read my stuff, and you'll probably see why my friends and family members rolled their eyes when told I joined this site (Do you know how many people I have had to explain what fanfiction is to? It's kind of embarrassingly sad! Aparently the people I know have no lives! Except for Ms.Garlit! She reads and writes fanfiction and she is a teacher! She shares me theories on Harry Potter and her, and I and AnimeWolf talked for a whole half of an hour on our theories! Anyways, moving on with my bio!)), but I do bet that they're happy not to have to try and read my horribly messy handwriting anymore. Ha-ha...yeah...just read and I have a better thingie on my profile so be happy now! Don't worry, be happy! Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! Don't worry, be happy now! Don't worry! Be happy!

Wow... I was a little crackhead when I wrote this, huh? -looks at her former self- -shakes her head slowly-

Also: I saw the above paragraph that I wrote HELLA DAYS AGO and saw me mentioning something about me being civil to that fat slutty bitch also known as AnimeWolf or Jillian, the back stabbing skank, and I wanted to make clear to anyone that comes across this page that I would rather drown myself in my own feces than look at her ever again.
She can go fuck a pig for all I care.
Thank you.

My Yahoo email address/screen name is : , My Aol email address/screen name is . My MSN screen name is

I've developed an obsession of sorts with Meryl Streep... Well, it's more of an I'm-in-love-with-her-and-want-to-jump-her-bones-until-she-divorces-her-husband-and-becomes-a-lesbian thing... Heh... You have no idea what my poor friends have been through... You thought my obsession (not lust, but love like a sweet famous grandmother... heh "My grandma bought me Starbucks... The whole chain!") with Maggie Smith was bad... Heh... I have a colour coded obsession list... (My computer crashed) I think I kept it on my GLEE... Let me go look... Apparently I didn't... -insert virtual scowl here- And GLEE is retardred... (But I DO have the list on my poll at the top of the page. They're nowhere near in order, but I plan on doing them in order of obsession and posting the list right above where my quotes start once I have the time) Grrr... They killed my video of Meryl Streep kissing Allison Janney; one of the only joys I have in this world!! XP But I've gotten my own silent vengence by going to YouTube and gathering a ton of Meryl videos and putting those on my page instead.. By the way; if you're gay and want a MySpace that's geared towards you, go to It's kind of amazing, I love it.

Okay, I never really took the time to mention my ships, so I'll do it now.
My favourite one right now: Miranda/Andy of The Devil Wears Prada
And the rest (in this order!):
Catherine/Sarah of CSI: Las Vegas
Kate/Abby of NCIS
Catherine/Sophia of CSI: Las Vegas
Minerva/Rolanda of Harry Potter
Clarissa/Sally of The Hours (And if anybody finds any of this ship; LET ME KNOW NOW!!)
Johanna/Mrs. Lovett of Sweeney Tood: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street - This one's a little weird... I don't even remember typing that... But I guess I'd try it if I found a good one!
Madeline/Helen of Death Becomes Her (Same notice from the paranthesis above)

And! Oh my gods. I have become obsessed with a real people ship. I think Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep should jump each other and live happily ever after. And, yes, I do realize that I'm not only letting Meryl cheat on me with her husband, but with Helen Mirren as well. But I'm willing to risk it on the off chance that I'll get to see Helen and Meryl snogging somewhere. I mean, check out my icon near the top of the page. Helen's on the left and Meryl's on the right. No joke.

Don't look at me like that! I'm on a lesbian kick, fuck off. lol :-P

I'm looking for any femmeslash fanfiction that has to do with any of Meryl Streep's characters in any of her movies. If you find any, please don't hesitate to let me know

I've had some others, mostly Harry Potter that I don't really follow anymore: Albus/Minerva, Severus/Minerva, Lily/James, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Ron, Harry/Hermione, Minerva/Rolanda, Minerva/Hermione, Minerva/Just about any female memeber of the Hogwarts staff, and some others that I can't remember...

Don't You Just Hate That? - These are the originals
1. Wondering if the appetizer you're sharing with a friend is being divided evenly.
2. Having to make that face to people in the hallway at work that implies "Hey."
3. That Barry Manilow didn't write his hit song "I Write The Songs."
4. Restaurants with indistinct figures, like a rooster and a chicken, indicating which restrooms are for men and which are for women.
5. That 41 seems the average age of people that describe themselves as in their "late 30's" in personal ads.
6. Walking by the same person you've already walked by in the dairy, produce and frozen-food sections.
7. That it takes a blackout to get most New Yorkers to say "hello" to one another.
8. Believing, as a squirrel looks directly into your eyes, that it is looking into your soul, when in fact it is trying to determine whether you have any nuts to give it.
9. When you try on a garment in a store and think, I wish I could wear this - and then think, I can, I can wear this. So you buy it, and never wear it.
10. Being yelled at in a foreign language in a foreign country. (Cammie... Shut up.)
11. That the student who warns his classmates not to make it a popularity contest when voting for class president almost always loses the election.
12. Apartment buildings that don't have a thirteenth floor because of superstitious people.

14. That your requirements in a mate become stricter as you grow older, and your good looks wane, making it harder to attract even the mediocre people you no longer find acceptable.
(For those of you who just caught the joke - Yes, it was inentional. For those of you who still haven't caught it - Go home.)
15. The tiny percentage of General Tso's chicken-eating Americans who know that Tso was in fact an utterly ruthless man.
16. Watching a movie with your parents that shows full frontal nudity.
17.Realizing how good the water pressure in your shower was, now that you live in Cuba.
18. What the "About the Author" on a book jacket doesn't tell you (e.g., "In addition, Lawrence has not called his grown children in seven years").
19. That it would be socially unacceptable, at your age, to wrap a Fruit Roll-Up around your pinky and suck on it for two hours.
20. That Maine is never chosen over Vegas for bachelor parties.

(There's more, I just have to go to work! More later!)
I will actually never finish these... I lost the book with them in it... Heh...

These are -my- Don't You Just Hate That?'s
1. Getting a test back and remembering knowing that you were going to get an answer wrong and then seeing that you were right.
2. Having your alarm clock set for 6:30am and being woken up at 6:27am.
3. That one teacher who thinks she's soooo funny... but she's not...
4. Waiting all day for something and then being told it's been canceled.
5. Trying to quote something and then quoting it wrong and hoping no one will notice and someone always does and outwardly corrects you.
6. Being glad you have nothing to do and then getting bored of doing nothing.
7. Having someone tell you something bad that happened to them and saying, 'Oh, i'm so sorry' or something like that while in your head you're really going, 'Sucks for you, glad it wasn't me!', and then it happens to you.
8. When you're justsick enough to stay hom from school, but too sick to actually enjoy your day off.
9.Having someone ask you to repeat your last sentence and then they say it back with you word for word. -.-

Things I Learned From SpongeBob

1. Squids are assholes.
2. Crabs are cheap.
3. Snails meow...
4.Starfish and sea sponges make the best of friends.
5. Squids are really annoyed by starfish and sea sponges because they're both idiots...
6. Squirrels can live underwater in astronaught suits...
7. Crab = Whale.
8. You can get electricity underwater...
9. Pankton are evil.
10.Pufferfish teach 'boating school'.
11. Underwater we use boats instead of cars to drive around...
12.Alarm clocks can double as a fog horn.
13. Sponges are complete suck-ups.
14. Starfish are completely stupid.
15. Squids wear a shirt and no pants while starfish wear pants and no shirt. Oh, the profanity!
16. It's your job, as a sea sponge, to kill health inspectors.
17. You can have fire underwater...
18. Lobsters are muscle builders
19. Fish and other sea creatures eat hamburgers...
20. Sea sponges double as fry cooks!

Proper IM Etiquette

Proper IM Etiquette #1:
Say 'brb' when you plan not to respond to someone for a period of time.

Proper IM Etiquette #2:
Please do no abuse the phrase ‘lol’, it drives people mad.

Proper IM Etiquette #3:
Typos are acceptable, but please, when you fix them (please do), use an asterisk.

Proper IM Etiquette #4:
Back to the first rule; if you have AOL or AIM, then you have no excuse to leave people typing ‘Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?’, do us all a favor and simply put up your bloody away message.

Proper IM Etiquette #5:
Chat speak is okay, but please make it at least understandable. ‘O no, u ddnt, hrrhrr fnny! wtf brb lmfao! omg! 1337! 7yt 4ever!’, does anybody know what that translates to? Me either, please make yourself understood.

Proper IM Etiquette #6:
When you are implying an action please use an asterisk or a ~, so you don’t confuse people.


SoAndSo(4:37 pm): goes and gets a cookie
SoAndSoElse(4:38 pm): Wtf, mate?

See? It confuses people and it’s wrong. Now let me show you the right way.

SoAndSo(4:37 pm): ~goes and gets a cookie~

Proper IM Etiquette #7:
If you go into a ‘Role Playing Chat room’ (not the ‘creepy-you-could-be-cybering-with-a-pedofile’ role playing, you perverts! The…thinks about what she‘s about to type, but types it anyways…innocent if there’s any left…role plays), please at least know who or what the story is or is about.


One time I was in a Marauders (James, Sirius, Remus, Peter But Lily was included, I role played as her! ) Role Play and we had been role playing for about two and a half hours. Then, suddenly, the guy who was supposed to be Sirius says, “Who are The Marauders?”. No one spoke…erm…typed for ten minutes. We all signed off and left him there, I was the last to sign off and simply typed to him; “LEandJP(11:53 pm): walks away muttering pity…what a pity…”, and then I just left. Didn’t even wait for him to respond, just left. Follow at least this rule and don’t be the one left out.

Proper IM Etiquette #8:
Know what ‘P.O.S.’ means. For those of you who are idiots and don’t know; it means ‘Parent Over Shoulder’. This means that if you’re typing something that you wouldn’t especially like the person’s parents to read, then don’t even type it.

Proper IM Etiquette #9:
If someone starts obsessively typing the words “La-la-la-la-la-la”, “Do-da-do-da-do” or “123456789” that means the same thing as ‘P.O.S.’

Proper IM Etiquette #10:
For the sake of your friends; please respect rules #8 and #9 (unless you want to be a jerk and enjoy getting people in trouble and watching them suffer).

Proper IM Etiquette #11:

Proper IM Etiquette #12:
Don’t give out your friend’s screen names to people that they don’t know without their consent.

Proper IM Etiquette #13:
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not (to your friends at least!)

Proper IM Etiquette #14:
Don’t tell people that you’ve got your WebCam in between your legs, it’s just wrong.

Proper IM Etiquette #15:
Don’t sign onto your instant messenger on your cell phone unless you actually plan to respond.

Proper IM Etiquette #16:
Don’t be one of the people who obsessively type,

Are you there?
Why aren’t you answering me?
Are you mad at me?
Is that why you’re not responding?”

Just close the stupid unresponding person’s window, get alife,and talk to someone else for god’s bloody sake.

Proper IM Etiquette #17:
Also; in response to rule #16 : don’t be one of those people who does that without waiting for the person to respond in the first seconds of you Instant Messaging them.

Proper IM Etiquette #18:
If you are a guy; don’t go into a lesbian chatroom
If you are a girl; don’t go into a gay chatroom.

Proper IM Ettiquette #19:
Don't sign on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and so on...

Proper IM Etiquette #20:
Any suggestions?

365 Reasons to STOP Dieting

1. Diets DON'T work.
2. You're boring everyone to death talking about it.
3. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12.
4. Tap dancing is more fun than dieting and burns more calories.
5. One of the main rules of dieting is "Never shop when you're hungry." A girl has to shop!
6. A quote from Zsa Zsa Gabor, "At a certain age, dahling, you have to chose the body or the face." (Choose the face, I did!)
7. You'll gain it all back, plus at least 20 more pounds.
8. You're eating for two... (You and your inner child :D)
9. How are you going to belly dance if you don't have a belly? (:D)
10. Chocolate fudge cake!
11. Making love burns 300 calories an hour.
12. People have died taking diet aids to increase their metabolism.
13. Fat Girl Comeback #1: "My husband thinks I'm gorgeous. By the way, are you still single?"
14. They say the TV adds 10 punds, so just by NOT being on TV you lose 10 pounds!
15. Children will love to sit on your lap.
16. Do you think that Winston Churchill ever said, "I'm going on a diet"? Of course not! And he was still pretty successful.
17. Fat-free cottage cheese tastes like old towels.
18. Think about the thousands of workers in the plus-size garment industry whose jobs are on the line. They depend on you!
19. Everyone loves whales, and they've got a whole layer of blubber.
20. Gingerbread and whipped cream.
21. You can finish all the leftovers on your dieting friends' plates. :D
22. Life is too short to deprive yourself of all that good food.
23. Diet drinks are like Chinese food; one hour later you're hungry again.
24. When you went to your 20th high school reunion, the cheerleader who married the football captain was fatter than you were-and so was he.
25. Without the calcium in all that cream cheese, ice cream and butter, your bones will get weak.
26. Your grandmother always says, "Eat, eat-You're too thin". And she's old, so she must be wise.
27. Life wasn't meant to be lived with out Danishes. (Cammie, shut-up. lol. I'm getting these from a list in a book! Not making them up myself! Hee...)
28. You don't have to do without warn doughnuts and cider at the farm on a Sunday morning.
29. If a friend brings you a homemade loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread, what are you supposed to do? Throw it out? Hell no!
30. Only 5 percent of the population in the world has the genes to look like a model anyway.
31. Your friends cross the street to avoid you.
32. Sure, hypnosis helps you diet, but your arm keeps jerking up every time you hear the word "freezer".
33. You can invest in some cozy cotton seatsuits, which are incredibly comfortable and also hide arm jiggles. (Also known as 'Grandma Arms' ~stares pointedly at Cammie~ Not pointing any fingers at anyone or anything... ~laughs~)
34. Early-bird dinners of lamb chops and baked potatoes with butter and sour cream are a great way to fuel up for an evening on the town.
35. The very act of eating uses up 85 calories an hour.
36. You look glamorous in long, loose scarves, which also detract attention from any fat you might have hanging around.
37. You'll never need to diet if you look in the mirror every morning and say, "You are beautiful just the way you are and I like you a lot."
38. Santa Claus makes millions of children happy every Christmas, and he never diets...
39. Food tastes so good!
40. If you play video games while your children are in school, you'll occupy both eating hands, and the adrenalin rush will burn some calories.
41. You're going on vacation and you'll lose 10 pounds thanks to Montezuma's Revenge.
42. Does anyone really think half a cup of anything is enough?
43. Rosie O'Donnell wouldn't make you laugh half as much if she were thin.
44.Ninety-five percent of all dieters never lose weight.
45. You gave up smoking and you're hungry.
46. Your mother won't look hurt anymore when you refuse her coconut cream pie.
47. Cooking for a dinner party uses up 120 calories an hour, which cancels out all the tasting.
48. Life is too short to go without chocolate.
49. Fat Girl Comeback #2: "Women who are too thin look so haggard, don't you think? By the way, have you been getting enough sleep lately?"
50. You can wear flat-front pants instead of the pleated pants and look thin-and stylish.

I'll never finish these either... Same reason as the Don't You Just Hate That? list...

Here are some quotes of my friends that prolly won't seem funny to most of you, but if you are one of my friends then you will get some of them:
I added some more quotes at the bottom:
And now I've stopped being lazy and added some more:

"If all else fails, read the directions" -Mr. Keegan, during math; on people skipping the directions and just trying to do the work

"Why do stories always seem to end well when life simply doesn't want to?" -Me, on a bad day, writing a fluffy story

"I'm not stupid, I'm just wrong an awful lot"

"Dude! Did you get the matching outfit?" -Mrs. K on the phone (at the beginning of class)

"It's blue!" -Sophie in choir

"What's Kerry look like?" "Frankenstein" -Two random people in PACD

"I'm as old as I have ever been at this very moment" -Chelsea, in PE

"Wanna make out with a dememtor? You only do it once!" -Chelsea, we were hyper and talking about dementors, what do you expect?

"You're too much of a Harry Potter freak if..." "Tiffany, Shut up" -Me and Chelsea

"It's vibrating!" -Me, on my birthday when Niyati gave me my present, just don't ask if you weren't there...

"God is a seahorse" -Chelsea's Mom

“When I was five, I thought God was a mailbox…” -Don’t ask me why I thought that… I just did…

"He's a skinny, white, German guy who can't dance, what's not to love?" -Chelsea, talking about Dom... I think she was on crack... Sorry, Chelsea... Heroin... sigh... Whatever...

"I bet it's Sawyer" "I'm right here asshole!" -Jack and Sawyer (Lost, Wednesdays on ABC @ 9 pm)

"I'm lost" -Chelsea, randomly

"Republicans for Voldemort!" "Gandalf for president! Because you can't have the Red, White and Blue without THE WHITE!" -Me and Chelsea, complaining about the election

"He sings?" "He sings. He can't, but he does anyway" -The movie Taxi and me responding to it

"Jimmy Fallon sings as bad as Drive Shaft (band from the afore mentioned Lost) featuring Dame Maggie Smith (in The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie) with Mrs. K playing My Immortal on the piano and Mrs. Woolery conducting." -Me, after hearing Jimmy Fallon sing in Taxi (Great movie, I'd recommend it to anyone!)

"When I feel like I'm lost" "YES!" -Some Train (Train is a band) song and Chelsea

"What're you supposed to be for Halloween?" ~Misha looks at Chelsea~ "A Mary-Sue" ~Chelsea gets a weird look from Niyati and so Chelsea starts to explain~ "It means bad fanfiction, or... Never mind... I've explained this too many times, don't ask" ~Chelsea stops talking, so I chime in~ "Hey Chels, you should be an Aires" "I would, but the cosume that I already bought cost me sixty dollars and as I can see from here Misha's doing a pretty good job by herself" ~Misha looks up and opens her big mouth~ "Huh?" "Just shut up, shut up before you start" --Chelsea~ "NO!" -- Misha~ ~Chelsea ignores Misha as I laugh my ass off~ -Misha, Chelsea, Niyati and Me (I'm not even going to try and explain)

"There are places enough for him to push his plow" -Some play called Antigone. (if you don't get it; put your mind in the gutter)

"His brother is the governor of Florida" "And you smell" -Brandon and Ryan about how Bush won the election (I dunno, don't ask me)

"It's like Garfield and the spiders" "If you whack me-" ~whacks Sophie with a rolled up newspaper~ -Me and Sophie in choir, she was wearing a spider glittery body sticker on her face and I had a rolled up newspaper and I was hyper, need I say more?

"It means 'Clever Butterfly', but it could also mean 'Ready Butterfly' . . . " -Natalie in choir, talking about her AIM screen name

"I brought chicken for lunch" -Jory, she just randomly turned around and shared this with me... I really don't know why... ~shakes head slowly~...

"I brought chicken again" -Jory, she said that the next day

"I'm on something and whatever it is, I want some" -Me, the day after Halloween, I was on sugar, very hyper and trying oh, so very hard to annoy Jory and "Bennie" (Some names the ones in parenthesis have been changed to protect the innocent).

"That was fish" "Uh... Sardine" "I don't eat fish..." -Markell and Me in choir, I had just handed her a white Bertie Bott's and it turned out to be sardine... accidentally... ~winks~

"Nadjia... What're you on?" "No... Wait, what?" -Me and Nadjia in math, she was being totally A.D.D. and then, oops, she did it again

"Three little words, Nadjia. Get. Over. It." -Me, being a little to harsh on Nadjia after a hard break-up

"How do you open it? tries to rip it open" "You slide it" -Nadjia and Me, we were talking about me cell phone you idiot! Keep your mind out of the gutter!

These next ones are form a play that Chelsea and I saw called "English Made Simple" :

These ones are from a voice that 'boomed' overhead at the play :

"Walnuts can be used as a torture device."

"Happy Christma-Hanna-Kwanza!"

"English Made Simple: It'll help you to get gooder than you already are!"

"Please keep the fire lane clear. That lane is for fire only."

"Please keep the four seats in front open for Mrs. Leanne Bean, our director" ("But, of course, she's as skinny as a stick" -Chelsea)

"Screw you, Agnes"

"If you are confused by what you just saw; don't worry; you're not alone."

"If you don't think it takes much intelligence to act; you're probably right."

"Demons; plural noun."

"We ask that you please not feed the actors, they may bite" ("We know, we know Kira, don't we?" -Chelsea)

Now these are from the actual play:

"I loved the man, damnit. In a squishy way." (the thing that make that funny is: a totally straight guy said it)

"I do like those cheese things."

"What kind of loser leaves a beer bottle?"

"Hello, Laura!"

"Why not?" "Because . . . I love you!" (what make that funny: same reason as before)

Now these are just Chelsea and I before the play and during intermission:

"Gimmie the pencil!" "I don't have the pencil, you moron!" "...Gimmie the paper!" -I started it, but it's not my fault!

"For a minute there I thought you said 'Trelawney would be Frou (yes, as in Frou from the Austin Powers movies)'." "No, you idiot! I said Anybody would be Proud!" ~Chelsea shakes her head in disgust slowly at me~ -I made a mistake, so sue me.

These quotes are now from everyday life again:

"No, I think when it comes to being weird Jory takes the cake" "What cake?" -Akayla and Nadjia

"Didju-No." -Jory, asking me if I did my math homework and then she realizes 'I'm asking Tiffany if she did her math homework. Am I crazy?'

"I can G-iz-o." "How about N-iz-o?" -Markell and Kaneisha

"Hallelujah! The Tenors got their note!" -Mrs. K, after doing and exhausting day working with the Women's Tenor part. I guess we're famous for not getting our

"There's just a bit of my taste buds missing" ~she shrugs~ "So you can't taste... Broccoli...?" -Emily and Candice, in choir. Emily was explaining that there's a dent in her tongue (I don't know why she was telling us this, but anyways...) so she can't taste some things and Candice decided to pick the most random thing to ask... I don't know... I don't ask questions... I just live here...

"It tastes like gravy... I like gravy... " -Stewart, on Miso Soup

"It's New Year's Eve, Tiffany. Why do you have to be on the computer?" "What do you propose we do then?" "Let's put on hats and scream" -My cousin Ryan and Me on New Year's Eve.

"Mornings are always so early" - Me talking to Cammie at 6am because she's from bloody Denmark and that's one of the only times I can bloody talk to her. I hate time differences!

(Okay, this quote has a back story. For those of you who have seen Hook, the sequel to Peter Pan, you know, the movie? Ok, so Robin Williams (elder Peter Pan) goes into that old house and he sees Maggie Smith (even elder Wendy) and he starts telling her about something that attacked him, something with neon red hair, green skin and sharp claws and teeth and Maggie Smith replies in a heavy Scottish accent; ) "Ah, the vicious Mary-Sue" - Maggie Smith in my dream

"Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu!"-Cammie being random on an Instant Message... I think she was on Lemon Drops... But they don't have those in Denmark...

"Have you heard of Cybill?" "Yeah, duh! Sybill Trelawney!" "Not that Cybill!" -Me and Cammie talking about a TV show that's in the USA...

"You know why Minerva always stand right behind Albus?... So she can look at his ass!"-Cammie... being a dumbass... lol...

"Dumbass!" "MINERVA!" "Eh?" "Minerva is DUMBledore's piece of ASS!" -Me and Cammie, Me being the one to call Cammie a dumbass...

"Severus Snape is a dumbass... NO! WAIT! No he's NOT!" "Ewwwww! LILY! Bad mental image!" -Me and Cammie talking about something and then this came up... ~Shudder~ ...

"Duh" "Duh" "Duh" "Duh" - Me and Cammie having an interesting conversation...

"Eh?" "Eh?" "Eh?" "Eh?" - still having very interesting conversations...

"Aberforth would swear on The Father, The Son and The Holy Goat!" - Cammie being totally random!

"Same difference" "Only the color has a different sound" -Me and Cammie

"OW" - Me every time Cammie IMed me...


"Don't type, just talk" -Me to Cammie

"Which Backstreet Boy is gay?" -Cammie after listening to some strange song!

"If my computer had a face, I would smack it!" -Me

"Imagine what Minerva would look like with an afro..." -Cammie said this and used it to write a fic... Weirdo!

"We're attached at the hip over the internet!" "Put that in your quotes!" -Me and Cammie

"So sue me!" "Sue? You want me to turn you into a Sue?" -Me and Chelsea when I made a mistake on...something...Don't remember what...But something...

"Lily? Do you copy?" "Yeah, I copy..." "Good. Team Tango Charlie goes first. Then We go... Watch your six! Over and out!" "What the hell are you talking about?" -Cammie... Being random... And me... Not following...

"You MUST have cheesecake!" "NO! We don't have ANY cake with cheese!" -Me not believing they don't have cheesecake in Denmark...

"Walk the plank, ye scurvy tub o-lard!" -Cammie being weird and ADD... as usual...

"And my mum said 'that's that girl from Australia, right?' and my friends keep saying 'oh, right! the Dutch girl!' And I'm like, 'NO! She's from DENMARK!' so funny!" "Shit, I'm international!" -Me and Cammie, I was talking about how the people I know seem to not have the words "Denmark" or "Dane" in their vocabularies...

"I can't draw... I can mess up stick figures!" "You gotta be kidding!" -Me and Cammie talking about how I can't draw for shit...

"Stan looks weird, If only he wasn't such a damn good kisser..." "WTF, mate!" -Cammie and me, while she was reading a fan fiction and talking to me at the same time...

"Excuse me, my computer's stupid" -Cammie at 6am

"I'd rather be a bitch than a chicken" "Eh?" "The Danish word for 'bitch' and the Danish word for 'chicken'-BAD HAMSTERS!" -Cammie being random and me saying, "Eh?"

"I have SS stuck in my VCR" "You have Severus Snape stuck in your VCR?" -Me and Cammie. I meant Sorcerer's Stone, not Severus Snape... lol...

"Oh! You've got an accent!" "Umm... Duh…?" -My Mum and Cammie, when my my mum heard Cammie talk for the first time...

"Can you fly Cammie out from Denmark to see a movie with us?" "Ummm... Not today" -Me and my mum.

"Whatcha doin'?" "Talking to Cammie! What do ya think I'm doing?" -My mum and me

"Why?" "I don't know... I believe it's because I'm ADD..." -Cammie asked why I was playing with a stretched out spring... and I told her...

"Get the mic out of your mouth" "Dundermouth?" -Me and Cammie when she had her mic in her mouth for some reason...

"I am their queen, I am queen of the hamsters" wouldn't get it unless you're Cammie...

"So you're kinda, indirectly, but not kidnapping yourself?" -Me to Cammie about her kidnapping herself and coming to California...

"There's that girl with the hair that I'm jealous of!" "The perfect ingredient for a mushroom omelet" -Me and Ms. Garlit... I have no idea... If you're lost (no pun intended); you're not alone...

~Jillian mumbles something~ "I heard that, I have the ears of a cat" ~I turn around from the computer to face her and see her cat ears headband-thingy~ "So do I..."-Me and Jillian after school in Ms. Garlit's room... she was insulting me... or something...

"If I was a second grade teacher, then I would tell all of my students that everything was made of cheese" "I HAVE A BOOK!" -Stewart and Jillian after school when we were EXTREMELY bored...

"Yes I will, won't I, Tabby? Yes I will!" "Cammie! You're talking to a stuffed animal!" -Cammie and Me, I think she was on crack...

"I still think that that silver ass was the funniest thing!" -When Cammies do drugs... lol...

"Napoleon Dynamite was a stupid movie!" "Yeah, it is!" "Have you ever seen it?" "" -Me and Cammie

"Snot ball!" "Nut ball?" -Me and Cammie...

"WFT!" "WFT? WTF?" "No! WFT! Well Fuck That" "Well Fuck What?" "Fuck your damn computer!" "I'll pass..." -Cammie and me in some very... random... conversation...

"Mom, can you get me another jar of apple sauce?" "That's not a banana..." -Chelsea and her mother when Chelsea was trying to get her brother a cup of apple sauce at dinner...

"I have a thing for bass players" "I have a thing for sarcastic assholes" "I have a thing for dumbasses..." "I'll tell Michael Gambon" "Shut up" -Fawkes and Me during our daily walk type thing before we go through the torture of our alcoholic PE teacher's idiocy... We survived... Alcoholic Bastard... Botchy ball...

"Why am I feeling the inside of this monkey's ear?" -Me

"Yeah, I'm going to snog the monkey's ass" -Me

"What's the difference between ADD and ADHD?" "ADD is when you're like 'OOOO! Something shiny!' and ADHD is when you're like 'OHMIGOD! SOMETHING SHINY! HOLY SHIT! MUST HAVE SHINY!" -Nadjia and Me


"My homework ate my dog... so I had to shoot it" -Me

"I got into a fight with a chair... and lost" -Fawkes

"Instead of 'The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants', we can be 'The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Bra'!" -Me

"I wish I could put a fish in my bra..." -Nadjia

"Noodle... A doodle..." -Nadjia

"I farted because of you!" -Nadjia

"I wonder if-" "I'm NOT a guy!" -Nadjia and Me

"Me on Dom... I wish..." -Chelsea

"My foot's asleep... and I'm jealous..." -Me

"I'm a Cashew! My mum's a Catholic and my dad's a Jew!" -Chelsea

"I swim in a pond full of loser fish" -Me

"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AND GO TO CLASS!" ~slams door~ "Stupid Bastards..."-Ms. Garlit, she had the door open in our classroom and there were these stupid people ditching and screaming random curse words and Ms. Garlit walks to the door and then screamed at them... It was SOO FUNNY!

"I did it backwards, but we'll live..." -Mr. Lewin... math problem... probably only funny to me though...

"That was a good one LewBall!" "LewBall?" -Allie Ventura and Mr. Lewin

"The queen!" "Yeah, the queen, whatever..." -Allie Ventura and Mr. Lewin

"I won the school a thousand dollars!" "Sure ya did..." -Allie Ventura and Mr. Lewin

"How'd you get fourteen? Where did that come from?" "That's the number of the problem you moron!" -Random person numbers one and two in my math class of who which I do not know the names of...

"Before we start that..." "WAIT! What page are we on?" "I think the better question for you would be 'What book are we in?', eh Justine?" -Mr. Lewin and Justine

~Calls Amber~ ~Amber answers~ "Hello?" "Amber?" "Yeah?" "52 MORE DAYS!" "Ow...The happy hurts..." -Amber and me

"Can you use another vocabulary word... other than 'damn'?" -Mr. Lewin.

"Do you know what 'bloody' means?" "Yeah, I know" "No, you don't!" "Yes, I do! Bloody means 'bloody' in English! Do you mean British English?" "No, I don't" "Yes, you do" "No, I don't!" "No, you don't!" "Yes, I do!" "HAH! SEE?" -Adrian and me.

~Class mumbles and talks~ "You guys seem to really care about your grades ~sarcastic~..." ~Class continues to mumble and talk~ "You know what's going to be really hard for this class on the final?" ~Mumbling and talking continues~ "NOT TALKING!" ~Class shuts up~ -Mr. Lewin, as himself, and my math class, as themselves.

"Smurfin'..." -Random person number three in my math class in stead of 'Bitchin'...

"Smurfia..." -Random person number three again...just randomly...

"What's with the Smurfs?" -Me realizing that after Cammie got that INCREDIBLY ANNOYING song stuck in my head that people started talking about smurfs constantly...

"Yeah, that's how we do it in P-Town! It's the girl scouts against the choir fundraising people! Oh, it's on!" -Random person number four in my math class that I do not yet know the name of.

"Yeah, you're sending fifteen teenage girls on a subway in the middle of the night wearing slinky formal dresses and high heels, in New Bloody York, back to their hotel to get their purses and makeup? And you expect them to survive? How many do you expect to come back alive? Who wants to start a choir wide pool on who dies first?" -Misha during our choir trip to New York freshman year...
We had gone to dinner and everyone had been told that we would be going back to get our purses and stuff and it turned out that we got lost (no pun intended) and had to walk to the theatre where we were going to see some opera and we would have had to get lost again in order to find our way back to the hotel so some girls decided to take the subway back to the hotel to get their makeup bags and Mrs. K condoned this for some odd reason... And if you have any idea who Mrs. K is then you know she was possessed at the time on condoning this... lol...

"Hey Lew, I'm going to the loo!" -Me

"It's Celine Dion and Barbara Steisand's fault!" -Me, on why Cammie and I became friends...

"It looks like art. But pointy and dangerous art" -Mr. Lewin

"Yeah, it's the gang symbol for square centimeters. Join my gang."~Joking~ "How do you get in?" ~Serious~ -Mr. Lewin and Gus

"And the answer is X=12" Gus starts to laugh hysterically "Yeah, it's hilarious..." -Mr. Lewin

"Goin' Nuckin' Futs..." -Random person number five...

"Speaking of the Cal Slaughter House, John? Can you tell me the exact circumference of circle P?" -Mr. Lewin, mocking John, who was being extremely off topic...

"If you can't find the circumference, then how do you know my grade?" -Random person number six... and counting...

"Can you pull the screen down?" "I can do lots of things..." -Gus and Mr. Lewin

"Loser FISH!" "Loser poser pirate fish wannabe!" -Cammie and Maja

"I just had a blonde moment. Not woman, Maja, moment." -Cammie... haha... dumbass...

" 'You're a bit scary at times, brilliant, but scary...' Bother bother bother!" -Cammie...being a dumbass... again...

" 'No, dear boy, I tried to kill you!!' Bother bother bother!" -Cammie...

"I'm not bothering you? I'd be bothering me if I were me... Wait I am me... If I was you..." -Me

"We're still playing." "Playing with what?" "My... Wand?" -Cammie and me... I don't even know... nor do I want to...

"Ooooo... his head is burning... now his face is burning... now he's crumbling to dust..." -Cammie while watching Sorcerer's Stone...

"I really like that uptight woman in 'Tea With Mussolini'" "Yeah! That's Maggie Smith!" -Cammie's Gran and Cammie... I can't believe that Cammie knew right off the bat that her Gran was talking about Maggie... Yes I can...


"I'm Nuckin' Futs!" "You're Snogging Nuts? WTF, Mate!" "Yes, Lily... I'm snogging nuts!" -Cammie and Me... Don't even ask...

"I'm such a dumbass!" "How did I know you were going to say that?" "Because you're psycho!" "And how did I know that you were going to say that?" "Because you're psycho!" -Cammie and me... going on and on and on... and on...

"I'm tired." "YOU'RE TIRED! I woke up at five am to talk to you, went to my granddad's funeral, I feel like shit and my head hurts like hell. And YOU'RE TIRED!" -Me and Cammie

"Godnight" -My adorable cousin Ryan, speaking Danglish (Danish and English at the same time... Kinda like Spanglish... you know Spanish and English at the same time...)

"You know what's really retarded?" "You?" "Besides me... and you" "My family, your computer, Jillian, Fawkes, Pookie..." "Ms. Garlit" "Ms. Garlit's not retarded! She's... yeah, retarded..." -Cammie and Me

"My nails hurt" "My teeth itch" "My eyelashes itch… sometimes... THAT'S freaky.." -Cammie and me

"Look! It's Minerva!" "What where? ~Spins around~ ~hip cracks painfully~ OWCH! MY HIP! Where, you dumb shit?" "I'm looking right at you... -her..." -JillyBean and me... Sometimes I hate her...


"Jesus Christ!" "Did you just say Jesus CrackHead?" "No, I don't want to go straight to hell… I want to work my way there!" -Me and Cammie..

"I have just now confiscated your brain!" -Cammie... I dunno...

"So now you've confiscated my brain AND now you're trying to give me a heart attack?" -Me... Just don't ask...

" 'The guns happily in the forest were shooting... but it could also mean something like this: The gays happily in the forest were fucking'... lol... that is just so funny!" -Cammie quoting her geometry teacher...I don't even want to know...

"I can't believe J.K.R. said, 'And there you go'!" -Cammie

"A is for Excellent!" "And she's supposed to be an English teacher!" -Ms. Garlit and Cammie

"What is the kitchen form of toilet paper?" "Umm...Paper towels...?" -Cammie and me... I don't even know...

"Did you hear a word of what I just said?" "Yeah... I think I heard some of it... I can't remember... but I heard!" - Me and Cammie

"She looks so innocent" -My Gran talking about Cammie... yeah right!

"Don't tell her to shut up! She's nice!" -My Gran about Cammie again... and Cammie heard and laughed her ass off!

"Isn't that what we do with thoughts? Think about them?" - Ryan Fontillas

"I can't write straight!" -Someone in GSA

"It was a Shakespearean Tragedy because it had death. We have 'Death' because it had... Death..." -Brett, explaining his poster of 'King Lear' during history.

"Who's lost?" "I am!" -Mrs. K and me

"All of the other songs are just as cheesy, it's just this one is in English" - Ryan Rubin, telling us about a very cheesy song that everyone was complaining about in choir called "Little Innocent Lamb"

"I'm having a fuck-tastic day" -Chelsea on the day Bush got re-elected

"Why would we want a president that has day-by-day calendars about stupid things he's said? I mean that's only... 365!" -Me

"American love; there was this sign on a highway that said; "Honk once for Bush, Twice for Kerry". A man honked once for Bush, his wife leaned over, smacked him on the back of the head and honked twice for Kerry." -Don Bleu

"I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE SCREAM!"(What irony!)-The President of GSA

"I was a sixth grader. I was young and dumb. -I'm still young and dumb, so nix that." -Me

"Stupid quote section. Go!" "What? What'd I say?" "Stupid" "Huh?" "Stupid quote" "This is funny, it's going in my stupid quotes section." -Jory and me

"I think it's S-A-S" "How about A-S-S?" -Akayla and me

"I can see myself going into the F.I.S.H. Club with my backpack, the map of 'The Unite States of Canada and Jesusland' and my 'Defend America, Defeat Bush' bumper sticker" "Yeah, but I can't see you coming out" -Chelsea and me

"It's the best episode ever!" Chelsea crashes "Chelsea? You on heroine?" "Stupid pants" -Chelsea and me

"I have a dream. I'm driving a bus and my teeth start falling out. My mum's in the back eatin' biscuits and everything smells of bacon" -Charlie on Lost, every Wednesday on ABC at 9pm

"Which one of you dumbasses is in there?" "Me" "Dumbass" "Moronic moron" -Chelsea and me

~writes 'Beaf' of the board~ "Can you get beef out of this?" ~class nods, half confused~ "YES! YES you can!" ~writes 'Chicken' on the board~ "Can you get beef out of this?" ~class shakes heads slowly, even more confused~ "NO! BECAUSE IT'S CHICKEN!" ~class looks at each other like 'WTF!'~ -Mr. Haubner and the summer school class of '05

"Is number two true or false?" "Giraffe" ~class again; ‘WTF!’~ (I should mention that Mr. Haubner is a history teacher... lol) -Random person #306 and Mr. Haubner

"Calculus is like algebra on steroids!" -Mr. Haubner

"The Roman Catholic Church; it's like a game of survivor on steroids!" -Mr. Haubner

"Listen to me or we will fire you. Literally fire you from the planet!" -Mr. Haubner

"Is that a bird out there or is somebody choking a freshman?" -Haubner

"To Sir R.F., freedom means chaos on steroids" -Haubner

"The French Revolution made the US Revolution look literally diet. Like, literally, a diet revolution" -Haubner

"Somebody throw her an intellectual lifesaver!" -Haubner

"Rousseau was a radical on steroids. I don't mean literally on steroids with bulging gross muscles and an anger management problem. But a radical on steroids." -Haubner

"It's Friday... My brain doesn't have to work..." -Becca

"They were whipping, as in whip whip whippin' whippin' WHIPPIN', around France, literally WHIPPING around France" -Haubner

"Oprah is the Queen Elizabeth of our time. She's the wealthiest woman alive and won't marry for sake of power... POWER TO THE PRENUPT!" -Haubner

"The French Revolution is the American Revolution on major steroids" -Haubner

"Dev: wonders faintly if the darkside really does have cookies
Me: lol
Me: thinks so...
Me: lol
Dev: then why isnt albus there?
Dev: wha it would make sense
Dev: if the dark side had cookies albus would be there
Me: what if theyre bad cookies?
Me: hmm?
Dev: gasp thats why severus snape turned away from the dark
Me: lol
Dev: he doesnt like sweets
Dev: never once did he accept a lemon drop
Dev: he he must be diabetic yes that is it
Me: lol
Me: Heehee!
Dev: and the darkside tried to forcefeed him sugar cookies
Dev: so he went to albus
Dev: who secretly was dark
Me: lol
Me: laughs
Dev: and then he betrayed him because albus kept trying to cram lemon drops down his throat
Me: lol
Dev: and they werent even sugarfree lemon drops
Me: those are nasty...
Me: lol
Me: has tried them
Dev: so have i
Dev: i dont find them too awful
Dev: but like regular ones better
Me: sugar free is evil!
Dev: yawns
Dev: im crazy arent i
Me: wait if Albus was secretly evil then how couls severus betray him?
Me: could
Dev: because there are many levels of being evil
Me: lol
Me: Dante, eh?
Dev: of course
Me: I love the way you think!
Dev: albus was more of a virgil type sinner
Me: You're crazy, but you're a writer, so you have to be
Me: lol
Dev: he wasnt truly evil because once what he did wasnt evil
Dev: but then richard simmons made it evil and atkins yes atkins as well
Me: ACK!
Dev: they were the first true evil dark lords
Me: EEEEEvill!1
Dev: but people thought they were good for mankind
Me: Dr. Phil!
Dev: so dumbles was a virgin type evil
Me: EEEEvil!
Me: lol
Dev: sin by absentia
Me: yesh...
Dev: evil by loophole
Dev: but he was not as evil as voldemort
Me: Of course not!
Me: not THAT evil...
Dev: whose dark revels were full of sugarry maple syrup cookies and mountain dew with pixie sticks pours in them and horrible gooey caramel cakes
Me: My evil!
Me: lol
Dev: yes he was truely evil because he did it after the fact
Dev: dumbles was jus unenlightened
Me: lol
Dev: because he came before enlightenment
Dev: hence why he is virgil like evil" -Clearly I'm not the criminal mastermind, yes?

"Dev : tha snape is actually albus' illegitimate son
Lily : waaaaiiiit- wha'?
Dev : yes yes tha is why albus trusted him
Dev : it must be
Dev : but severus turned away from sugarry evilness
Lily : thinks maybe
Dev : because secretly he wanted to be a gasp dentist
Dev : yes a dentist which is why he loves hermione granger so much
Lily : O.O
Dev : he is just secretly trying to inherit the dental practice from her parents
Dev : yes that is it" -No, definitely not the criminal mastermind

"Dev : im glad some has actually seen The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Dev : yes
Lily : You're officially on my Christmas list
Dev : gasps for air arms and legs hanging at odd angles as she is attacked
Lily : lets go of Dev
Lily : grinning
Lily : Squee-ing
Dev : shakes head laughing
Lily : You
Lily : officially
Lily : rock
Lily : not like you didnt rock before
Lily : but you rock even more now" -Dev and me

"Ewww... It's a dead bird! It's laying there... All dead..." "Isn't that what dead birds do...?" -Amber and me

"You bastards! You made me inhale my cookie! It is now sitting in my lungs!" -Caitlin, don't ask, won't tell... lol...

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw." "~O.o~ How can you do anything gently with a chainsaw?" -Jenna and Caitlin

"I mean fuck you if that's a large!" -My mother, on JC Penny's

"Music is my knife. Emotions are my wrists. Still think I'm not self-destructive?" -Saabi

"Your mother." "Hamster." "Your father was a nun." "Well, yours was a goat! Your mother was a goat fucker!" -Me and Jenna

"If he's gay, how can he have a nephew?" -Poor, poor Saabi... -.-

"What state is Michigan in?" -Let us have a moment of silence for Saabi's departed brain. ~bows head~

"This is the Bermuda Triangle! Everyone who steps into it gets their brain disappeared!" -Shelia talking about our corner of the classroom... lol... Go figure...

"How much does it usually go for?" "$300, but if you're a baller, you can get it for $200..." "Am I a baller?" -Chris (No, not Pookie) and Shelia

"You can relax, sleep well-" "And know you're screwed no matter what you do." -Shelia and Saabi

"One one hand; good job. On the other hand; fuck you!" -Jenna, on how Saabi bull shitted his entire 5 minute long speech and got an A+... -.-... Bastard...

"Your mom!" "Your daddy!" "Your mom!" "Your daddy!" ... Etcetera... Etcetera... Etcetera... -Me and Francesca... (Now I feel like watching The King and I...)

"Fucking fried Cyclops of doom!" -Anthony (a.k.a. King Bob) on doughnuts

"I support two baseball teams; the Red Sox and whoever beats those Yankees!" -Shelia

"Rich, can you just answer the stupid question?" "If I just answered your stupid question then you could just go home, now couldn't you?" -Dominique and Rich

"Women at war..." "Oh joy." "... Let's hide..." -Me and Caitlin

"You feel like a tornado in a carpool?" "No! I feel like doing a cartwheel!" -Me and Caitlin

"I did?" "You did." "I did?" "You did." "... I did?" "Shut up!" "Make me!" "..." "..." -Me and Caitlin

"You may destroy all the men in American, and we still have enough to do to defeat the women..."

"Hey, I take care of my friends by being annoying." -Mary

"You have any pencils?" "Yes, have a pencil fetish..." "Hook me up!" -Mary and Shelia

"Semper Fi... You know, I'd join the Marines, but I'm too much of a chicken shit... The first sign of a gun and I'd be like Jesus; runnin' back across the ocean... Buh-bye." -Me

"There's no morality when it comes to school supplies..." -Shelia

"Then we Repiblicate and Democrate!" -Me... lol... Just don't ask...

"So then we stabbed each other with Sharpies and he drew a smiley face on my shirt" -Eddy

"All this only for eternal damnation? Hell yeah!" -Mary

These are some old quotes from me and Cammie that I never took the time to put up...

"You know what is weird? Batteries are packed in so thick plastic which is nearly impossible to open... And the light bulbs are packed in sooo thin paper... Opens in both ends... What are people thinking? "Nothing will happen to those! It's the batteries we have to worry about!" DUH! lol!" -Cammie - Note to Cammie: I've found you out! That's from a comedy routine! Don't ask me which one though, because I have to fuckin' clue.

"When you know who's who that's what makes it funny, otherwise it's a drama, but only like the last 10 minutes are really dramatic, otherwise it's 'laugh-your-ass-off-until-you-have-to-go-look-for-it funny" -Me, on The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

"Kælling! Nidkjær!" "Did you just call me a Bitch Bridge?" -Cammie and me

"The first time I saw it I was with a friend and she did NOT like old love. 'It's gross! They're making out! EWWWWW!' I almost smacked her!" -Cammie

"I don't watch TV that often anymore, I usually have this as my schedule; 1. Wake up. 2. Talk to Cammie. 3. Go to school. 4. Check emails at lunch. 5. Go to rest of school 6. Hang out with Mrs. Garlit after school until Jillian's mum comes and picks us up. 7. Homework. 8. Talk to Cammie 9. Go to bed" -Me

"I feel like a bowl of cereal." "WTF, mate?" "I feel like HAVING a bowl of cereal" "Oh..." -Me and Cammie

"I know what porn is, thank you very much... why did they send it to YOU?" -Cammie, when I was complaining about having porn sent to me in spam... You had to be there for the conversation...

"'I earned my crotch band' 'Doesn't that ever give you an empty feeling?' 'What?' 'The crotch band' 'No, because like some frog species I grow what I need' -Kate Todd and Jethro Gibbs... I LOVE this quote! lol" -Cammie... This was right before she introduced me to NCIS... It's all her fault... lol..."

"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame"

"Okay, Imagine this: Minerva takes Albus with her to a family reunion as her boyfriend... only, he's not. And then one of her brothers say, 'Albus Dumbledore... hey, you're the one Minerva's been secretly in love with for decades aren't you?' OH SHIT, eh?" -Cammie

~Strokes her computer~ ~Says in a kind, not threatening, sing-song voice~ "C'mon you piece of shit, lemme have, Please, c'mon you shit." -Me

"Why study? The more you study, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. The less you know, the less you forget. The less you forget, the more you know. So, why study?"

"They say practice makes perfect, but no one's perfect, so why practice?" -Cammie

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried" -Me

"Mel and I were meant to be together" "I wish I could say the same for your thighs!" "I don't have to stand for this!" "I bet you'll lay down for it!" -Blanche and Sophia of the Golden Girls .

"Silly rabbi! Tricks are for kids." -Sophia

"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you" -Maggie Smith in Ya-Ya

"Why doesn't somebody go to the bathroom? That always makes the food come!" -Maggie in Ya-Ya

"I don't understand why you have your underwear up your crack, it doesn't to a G-D Thing" -Maggie in Ya-Ya

"Imagine Snape reading a fairy tale for Harry... 'Once upon a time... In Mexico...' lol" -Cammie

"Hold your horses..." "I don't have horses..." -Me and Cammie

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking" -Me

"I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicans for which they scam one nacho underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls."

“And I’ll be the little squirrel, screaming for my life…” -Jessica

“Oh, you have 6 more. They’ll last you a while… You can go through them like socks…” -Stephanie

“What happens if I break the black one?” “Then you have to masturbate.” “Have to? Like it’s a chore!” -Saabi and me

“You suck…” “I could comment on that… But I won’t…” -Me and Mary

“Priests joke? I thought they just prayed and screwed little boys…” -Mary

“Tiffany; just do it.” “Caitlin’s Nike now!” -Caitlin and Mary

“A boy had a crush on me?” -Caitlin

“Caitlin has wings!” “… Uh… No shit?” -Anthony and me

“Did you just say ‘I have a front door on my face’?” -Me

“Her grandma called the police on Saabi! It all makes sense now!” -Mary

“She called the police on me for trying to run over an elementary school kid with my car…” -Saabi

“It all makes sense now! The hamster in my head runs backwards!” -Me

“There are bunnies and Leprechauns in my head. When I think good thoughts, the bunnies multiply. But when I think bad thoughts, the Leprechauns shoot the bunnies. There’s only one bunny left.” -Anthony

“You mean Caitlin’s gonna get some?” “Yep, you’re going to be her first.” “Well, I’d better be! I own her!” -Kristin and me

“All I heard was ‘bladdy bladdy blah. I’m on MySpace, I’m going to hell’” -Mary

“Her and Draco get together and he looks like Malfoy!” -Kristin

“Oh god! I’m drowning in my sweat drop!” -Mary

“Your mother’s a crappy three!” -Me

“I’m going to rip off your wenis and staple it to a wall!” -Me

“Dude… What was the best thing before sliced bread?” -Me

“All I heard was something about you lighting up and I wasn’t surprised!” -Shelia

“Shelia, you’re a hippie” “I’ll never win this battle…” -Tom and Shelia

“Mine’s as big as yours. Let’s go at it!” -Rich

“Tiffany!” “What’d I do?” “Him!” “I don’t recall that! ~shifty eyes~ I was drunk!” -Caitlin and me

“I can golf, but you can’t make me a hooker.” -Caitlin

“How would it be different if I were the Princess of Denmark?” “Because then you’d be important…” -Caitlin and me

“Because it’ll feel better, we’ll all say slut at the count of three” -Shelia

“A is for awful, B is for bad, C is for…” “Canadian?” -Me and Amber

“Caitlin might die, but she’ll get over it though.” -Kristin

“How is that a dead moose?” “It’s a dead mouse.” “Oh, I get it now…” -Me and Caitlin

“Your hair is horny” -Saabi

“Every year a dog dies in English class…” -Mrs. Garlit

“Check to see if that cake survived.” “It’s pink, does it matter?” -My mom and me

“Well, Barbie is Swedish…” “No wonder… That bitch” -Me and my mother

“They have an innocence sensor. It’s kinda like a gaydar.” -Me

“Fairies don’t technically exist” “Then Caitlin doesn’t technically exist?” -Caitlin and me

“It’s fun to tell telemarketers that whoever they’re calling for is dead…” -Me

“You okay?” “Yeah, it’s only my head.” -Kyle and me

“No more depressed cookies!” -Me

“If they don’t have peanut butter, I’m not going!” -Amber

“Disney movies!” “They’re medicated!” “Disney movies are basically Has Christian Anderson fairy tales on anti-depressants!” -Me and Caitlin

“So you’re the stuff that makes an H.C. Anderson story able for little kids to see because there are no suicidal mermaids?” -Me

“Yay for suicidal mermaids!” -Saabi

“I beat you over the head with the souls of the books of the Lord of the Rings trilogy!” -Caitlin

“Who’s Barry Manilow?” “O.O ~wails~” -Caitlin and me

“I know you don’t have invisible ink! I have all of the invisible ink in the world in my pockets of god!” -Caitlin

“Caitlin looks like a three foot ninja.” -Anthony

“Mary! You can’t call me a stalker! I’m your wife!” -Saabi

“It’s like an orgasm in my fingertip.” -Tom

“I’m being finger raped!” ~Principal walks by~ -Me

“Wait, you can’t rape her! She’s wearing a condom!” “Break in the condom! Break in the condom! ~pokes me in the face~” “What’re you going to do, impregnate my face?” -Caitlin, Anthony and me

“I think this one is clearly stating; Rafael, knock it off!” -Ann

“My lady leprechauns always end up looking like me, so I just draw men.” -Me

“Jim, get that math off my board! I’m breaking out in hives!” -Sometimes I just love Shelia… Not very often, but sometimes.

“I don’t laugh when you do stupid stuff. Never mind, yes I do.” -Shelia

“Wow… I got about 30 stupid quotes today… I must know a lot of stupid people!” “You better put them on your profile! And about you knowing a lot of stupid people; I won’t comment on that…” -Me and Cammie

“You know I don’t know how to work those things!” “Yeah… Electricity…” -Shelia and Tom

“I like English cars…” “I like English humour…” “... I like English muffins…” -Joe, me and Stephanie

“If you’re lonely, then get cats! I mean; break up with a boyfriend, get a cat! … I should have about six cats then…” -Me

“It’s about as chewy as a brick.” -Me

"What're you, an accent sponge?" -My mother

"Oooh, a snail... ooh, a crushed snail..." -Cammie

"Stefan is now the official father of my bagel." -Cammie

"I've got a Starbucks coupon, kick ass!" "And I'm still drawing leaves..." -Me and Cammie

"You know, it's really fascinating watching a printer print. You know with that thing open... it goes back and forth really fast..." -Me


“Fawkes: Hang on, I get to play the 'Guess who's pregnant?' game with my mom again...
Lily: So Mike's pregnant?
Cammie: O.o
Cammie: ew
Fawkes: ...WTF?
Fawkes: Oh shit!
Fawkes: O.o
Fawkes: o.O
Fawkes: Congrats Tiffy, I'm disturbed
Lily: Yay!
Cammie: yay! GO TIFFANY!
Lily: My work here is done! ~flies away like a super hero~” -Chelsea, me and Cammie

“Lily: If you weren't pregnant... I’d beat the crap out of you…
Cammie: ~scared~
Lily: ~sits down mumbling and continues knitting a small pink sweater~
Cammie: What if it's a boy?
Lily: Then he can be gay!” -Me and Cammie

“My cousin brought a Furby into my home... HIS BLOOD SHALL WATER MY FIELDS!” -Me and I was talking about the evil Furby of doom, not my naive cousin who housed the beast.

“Give me Taco Bell or Give me death!” -Me

"Saabi, I don't know if I want you naked in my skirt." -Mary

"I haven't worn a skirt in so long, I'm so excited!" -Saabi

"I forgot the sarong, did you bring the baby?" -Caitlin

"It's really loud Josh! The music!" "What?" -Caitlin and Josh

"I woke up and had salami and diced pears." "What, are you pregnant too?" -Kristin and me

"I'm wearing my baby!" -Me

"Mary impregnanted Saabi?" -Me

"I forgot to drop the baby!" -Me

"You know, some of us have that problem..." "Yeah, I know! Personally!" "Well, we learned something new about Tiffany..." -Mary and me

"She's PMSing ~silence from Kristin~ See! Because she doesn't answer, I'm right!" -Me

"You'd think after hundreds of years they'd learn..." "Well... They're men..." -Caitlin and me

"I'd be freaked out too if I found out that I was part of that gene pool..." -Me

"You know what? All of the people in this class room used to be as cute as you..." "Yeah, except Shelia..." - Shelia and Stephanie

"My husband goes to Amsterdam one week every month." "Makes sense to me..." -Shelia and me

"It was the goat mafia!" -Me

"How'd you do that?" "With my giant dick..." -Mary and me

"I think Shelia's husband has orgys in Amsterdam..." -Kevin

"Can I borrow you notebook?" "But what if Caitin says something stupid?" -Kristin and me

"What did you do, mate with an ugly tree?" "I had too many sandwiches!" -Caitlin and me

"What's the answer to number one?" "It's a word search..." -Rafael and Jory

"It's like suicide via small jokes!" -Me

"You know why there's no femal president? Because she'd be in a meeting and be all nice and cool and then she'd go to the bathroom and come back and be all 'BOMB THEM!' It's PMS... It's like no shit, Sherlock!" -Taylor

"The only place I'm ill is in my head." -Cammie

"Good girl" "My closet has a gender now?" -Cammie and me

"I stole back my spot from you, which is rightfully mine!" -Me

"Wait, it's impossible to be suicidal?" -Me

"Her boobs don't fit in my camera." -Saabi

"You'd marry Saabi if he was gay?" -Me

"I'm a deaf, retarded, one eyed bat." -Mary

"So your girlfriend is your exgirlfriend to the fourth power?" -Me

"I'm a good little Catholic school girl! And my father's a roaring heathen pagan..." -Caitlin

"You know Saabi, it's really interesting... Not for you, but for me, but I just need to tell someone..." -Mary

"Your hand is where my ass belongs." -Me (I was trying to tell him to move his hand so I could sit where it was... lol...)

"That's where the pile of dead kittens came from..." -Kevin

"My mother is a man. She won't stop at a gas station to ask for directions when we're lost." -Me

"Flappers are back-in-the-day strippers!" -Me

"Frankenstein was Jewish?" -Michael

"HCA looks like Willy Wonka with a top hat... But the old one, not the new one..." -Kristin

"Your country looks like Elvis' finger with a Godzilla finger puppet on it..." -Mary

"Dude... I would so make love to that statue..." -Kevin

"Yes, sarcophaguses make me horny..." -Me

"The squirrel only tolerates you, but nobody likes you..." -Me

"And there are STDs crawling up her legs..." -Stephanie

"I doubt that would be comfortable..." -Caitlin, reffering to above quote

"She's a Christian and she loves you!" "I'm a Catholic, you bastard!" -Saabi and Caitlin

"Shelia! I wore a skirt, I deserve an 'A'!" -Saabi

"Saabi, this may come as a shock to you, but seeing you in a skirt doesn't exactly float my boat..." -Shelia

"If I catch you thinking in this class again, you're gonna be sorry." -Shelia

"Oh god." "You can call me Shelia." -Saabi and Shelia

"No... I would marry Saabi if he were gay... If I were gay... If I were a gay man!" -Me

"Bitch, please..." -Kevin

"I'm weird..." You're weird? I'm obsessed with Denmark and you're weird?" -Stacie and me

"Just listen to what you just said. 'Blue Balls are better than Monsters'..." -Kevin

"I hate Saabi too, but Saabi's got free food!" -Tom

"Why do they call it a knee slapper when you slap your thigh?" -Me

"You can go home and tell your cat that you know where it came from!" -Rich

"I've been warned against eating dead birds off the streets in Denmark..." -Me

"Finding your house in California would be like finding Denmark on a map: it might be hard and take a while... But you'll find it eventually..." -Chelsea

"He looks like he's about to rape you..." "And giggle the entire time..." -Chelsea and me

"I'm too tired to slap you. Bash your head against my hand." -Karen, of Will&Grance

"If you knew your times tables, you'd like math a lot better." "That's propaganda, Lara!" -Lara and Kris

"Real, true friendship affects your life in a way that money never can." -Shelia

"What is a random ass?" -Shelia

"The only reason I did it is because she promised to sleep with me if I did! I'm suing her for false advertisement!" -Saabi

"She's like a bobble head... Except she's a bobble body..." -Adam

"Awww... Kristin's a barbeque virgin..." -Me

"Girls can play with anything, but guys can't" -Cory

"I'm gone for two minutes and you guys gang bang my milk carton!" -Anthony

"It doesn't matter what time it is on Monday, it's still early..." -Me

"You can't put your closet in a room with another closet! It just won't work!" -Caitlin

"Which quote?" "Tiffany!" "What'd I do?" "Him! ~points to Saabi~" "Oh..." -Me and Caitlin

"Tom, if you need someone to pretend to be your boyfriend, I'll do it." "No! he's all mine!" "Finally! I've been waiting two years!" -Me, Saabi and Tom

"Why don't you tie it shut?" "My shirt or my mouth?" "BOTH!" -Caitlin and me

"It's just scandal over here!" "We're talking about the soggy cookie in Caitlin's lungs!" -Shelia and me

"And then she'd get mad and explode and we'd have Shelia chunks all over. And that wouldn't be very pleasant..." -Me

"Why do we all want to touch Andre when he's wet?" -Mary

"I heard this; 'It's a spare tire filled with hope!'..."- Me

"I'm more of a man than he'll ever be!" -Me

"I'm gumming your sweater..." -Caitlin

"You produced a puff!" "My god! I'm dissolving!" -Me and Caitlin

"All you gotta do is give her coffee and handcuffs and you've got yourself a party!" -Me

"What the hell is an Oklahoma?" -Saabi

"Who the hell names a state Oklahoma!" "Your mother!" -Saabi and me

"Are Draco and Malfoy twins?" "NO! They're the same kid!" -Saabi and me

"Will, what did I tell you? You live with a hetero long enough, you're going to catch it..." -Jack of Will&Grace

"I have a gaggle!" "So does your Granma..." -Me and Jill

"I was going up and down and up and down. I was like a confused erection!" -Me

"Puberty is a very hairy brick wall..." -Me

"Your boobs are going to mate and have a love-child." "So how does my cell phone work as a condom?" -Jill and me

"I can almost hear my hips saying 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!' "-Me

"Then why do you ask?" "To give the appearance of a choice..." -Me and my mother

"They can play sports, but they can't aim for shit." -My mother on men's bathrooms

"There are no zombies in the Catholic church! At least, not mine..." -Caitlin

"And I'm a leg man..." -Me

"He bit me! With the teeth and the flesh and the biting!" -Me

"I called her Little Bo Peep!" "I have NOT lost my sheep!" -Me and Caitlin

"And my pants almost came off..." -Me

"Oh! I found Jesus! He was on my crotch all along!" -Stephanie

"How do you spell Italy? Is it with two e's?" -Logan

"Shelia! Sixty percent of my school day consists of your classes!" "Awww... How depressing..." -Saabi and me

"I'm so hot... In here..." -Mrs. Garlit

"Follow me! ~slams door~" -Jill

"When you have a baby, you have to feed it mashed bananas. but you have to mash the bananas yourself." "Just don't tell that to Cammie. She'll laugh her ass off. It's a bit of an inside joke." "How so?" "Mom, what is a banana shaped like?" "A man's penis..." "As opposed to what? A woman's penis?" -My mother and me

"I am evil in it's general form" -Me

"I just called to say bye!" "Have a good sleep!" "Have a good day at school!" "Shut up..." -Me and Cammie

"Can I lick your eyeball?" "No... Why?" "It turns me on. Why?" "I like my eyeball lickless..." -Me and Pookie

"Why would you want to lick somone's eyeball?" "It's a Cammie thing..." -Cailtin and me

"I am a fluffy ball of doom named Pfft." -Caitlin

"You have a boyfriend? Is it me?" "Two timer! Two timer!" -Saabi and Caitlin

"She's stabbing your boobs really hard!" "No, don't do that! They'll pop!" "What? Boobs are popable?" "Only if they're baloons! Which means they're fake!" "They're pink? My boobs are pink?" "NO! FAKE!" "I beg your pardon!" -Me, Saabi and Caitlin

"You're calling my ex a sperm...?" -Me

"Oh! Wait, I have seen Schindler's List!" "Doesn't that half naked chick have a great rack?" -Saabi and me

"You did touch your pen! in very inappropriate places!" -Saabi

"I have to live in Denmark for my mother to be a hamster?" -Caitlin

"Caitlin, is my hair turning green?" "Caitlin, is her hair horny?" -Me and Saabi

"Oh no! It's getting all over the sperm!" -Me

"Life is like a box of chocolates and I'm fucking allergic." -Jesse

“For he’s a fiend in feline shape” “So are you!” “A monster of depravity…” -Caitlin and me

“I’m screwed!” “By who?” “~looks very sarcastically at Caitlin~ You!” -Me and Caitlin

“You know, when we get old, I mean really old, we have to keep in touch, like everyday, just to make sure the other isn’t dead!” -Cammie

“It’s 1 o’clock in the morning and we’re playing knee and elbow…” -Cammie

“My pen just, like, committed suicide!” -Me

“It stopped twitching, you don’t have to poke it!” -Me

“Tiffany?” “Yeah?” “Are you a man?” “Yes.” “Tiffany?” “Yeah?” “Me too.” -Mary and me

“As a professional stalker-” “I stock shelves.” “I stock bookstores!” “I stalk girls.” “I stalk myself…” -Saabi, Bryce, Caitlin and me (I only say the last part… lol…)

“I’m such a bastard…” -Me on killing Caitlin in our history class…

“This stinks because- SHUT UP!” -Ann

"He's as Danish as they come! As Danish as a danish pastry! ... Actually, danish pastries were invented in Vienna... by two Danes... anyway..." - Cammie

"Are you guys leaving milk and cookies for Santa Claus?" "Santa can lick my ass." "O.O" "Wait... What I meant to say is that Santa's fat..." "But that's not very nice..." "Let me finish! I'm doing that little fucker a favour. In not only one, but TWO ways! One: He's fat anyways and what's a fat guy need with cookies? And B: Santa doesn't want warm milk and stale cookies! If you're going to leave something out for the poor bastard, leave him some coffee, a steak and a cigarette. That'll make his fuckin' night. Wouldn't you want a cigarette after getting your ass burned in the fireplaces of a bunch of dumbasses who know you're fucking coming, but they still leave the fucking fire on anyways? ... Bastards." -Amber and me

"Helena Bonham-Carter is engaged to Tim Burton? It al makes so much more fucking sense! He's got the crazy mind for some awesome movies and she fits his crazy characters perfectly while still being sexy!" -Me

"She's 58 years old and I want to wear her thighs as earmuffs." - Me on Meryl Streep

"Is it weird that I feel like I'm cheating on Meryl Streep with Cybill Shepherd?" "Yes Tiffany, that's very fucking weird in fact." - Me and Hannah

My quotes are done (until I find more stupid people to say more stupid quotes), but this is just something funny. Here's my "You're Too Much Of A Harry Potter Freak If . . ." list. (Just so you're not confused; this I will be turning into one of those calendars, you know, where you rip off a page every day. If you have one to add just review a story and tell me or send me a PM or an e-mail or whatever...

All the ones that have a ~ next to it are the ones I'm guilty of...

You’re Too Much Of A Harry Potter Freak If . . .

1. You actually bought this insane 'day-by-day' calendar.

2. You bought the shampoo that comes out in the shape of a lightening bolt and smacked it against your head until you got a lightning bolt shaped bruise. ~

3. You refer to your family and/or friends as "The Order". ~

4. You refer to your two best friends and yourself as "The Golden Trio". ~

5. You have "changed" your name to that of your favorite character's. ~

6. You have sorted your friends into Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. ~

7. You've read each of the books an unhealthy amount of times…and brag about it. ~

8. You have all of the soundtracks, DVDs and VHSs.

9. You wake up everyday to the theme song. ~

10. You memorized "Double Trouble". ~

11. You tried to get your choir teacher to teach "Double Trouble" to your school's choir(s). ~

12. You are a part of at least four or more different online Hogwarts-es. ~

13. You go through a week straight with this calendar and you realize that everyday when you rip the page off you say "Guilty" aloud to yourself.

14. You're keeping all of the ripped off pages of this calendar.

15. You call your worst enemy "Dolores"; in memory of Umbridge. ~

16. Instead of saying "What grade are you in?", you've started to say "What year are you?". ~

17. Instead of saying "Stupid freshman", you've started to say "Stupid fourth years". ~

18. You have developed a random obsession with lemon drops (or Sherbert Lemons that you have found in a British Grocery store in your town :D) that is starting to scare people. ~

19. You’ve ever said this, "Can I get you a butterbeer - erm - a drink?". ~

20. You always have a bag of Bertie Botts with you. ~

21. You tie the empty Bertie Botts bag to your belt and put your cell phone in it. ~

22. When your parents drive you insane you have started to scream "Bloody Lemon Drops!". ~

23. You have become obsessed with a character, (in the movies) and watch his or her other movies and associate them with that of the Harry Potter movies. ~

24. You see a lit-up freeway from a distance and it reminds you of Harry's scar. ~

25. Everything reminds you of a fanfiction that you have read. ~

26. You make up random holidays (Ex: Gryffindor Pride Day!)…and celebrate them. ~

27. You think that your history teacher secretly teaches others to fly broomsticks.

28. You claim that your letter is "just five years late". ~

29. Every time you see a train you yell, "OMIGOD…erm…MERLIN! IT'S THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS COME TO TAKE ME HOME!".

30. You purposely run into walls thinking that you'll get onto the platform sooner or later. ~

31. You get mad at yourself for not remembering the names of spells. ~

32. If you have ever yelled "Expecto Patronum" at your parents…and expected it to work… ~

33. If you actually spend your free time thinking of 365 reasons why or how you're too much of a Harry Potter freak. ~

34. When your friends or family members ask what you want for your birthday or Christmas or whatever and you reply, "Anything Harry Potter", and they don't even roll their eyes because by now they're used to it. ~

35. You and your friends go in Instant Messenger just for the sole reason of some random Harry Potter roleplay. ~

36. You don't talk as much because you're always either reading or writing fanfictions. ~

37. You know exactly who and what I’m talking about when I say "The Gandalf Theory". ~

38. You say "bloody" so much that your teachers have started saying it too. ~

39. You've started referring to your school as Hogwarts. ~

40. You wear a ring on your wedding finger and when people ask why or who you're married to you simply reply, "She took too long, so I snagged him", and your friends know who and what you’re talking about. ~

41. You say that if you were to be elected president that you wouldn’t be able to be sworn on the Bible, that you'd have to be sworn on you own "Holy Books". ~

42. You see a Tabby cat and automatically think that Professor McGonagall is watching you (as if she has nothing better to do…) and you warn your friends of her presence. ~

43. When your…"odd" friend starts talking about "Lost" you start to wonder when the next movie comes out in theatres. ~

44. You take the time to compare the characters in Harry Potter to the characters in "Lost" and find out that your logic seems to make sense. ~

45. You try and figure out what first and last names of your favourite characters go together and don't sound weird…just in case… ~

46. You notice that one of your friends has something that kind of looks like a quill and you figure that you must have one exactly like it. ~

47. You go to a reptile show and see a bearded dragon that "looks just like Norbert" and you carry it around for three hours referring to it as "Norbie". ~

48. You go into Walmart and see a random picture of someone that you don't know and think something along the lines of this, "Hmmm…that looks like (insert random character)…" ~

49. You refer to your favorite drink as "Butterbeer".

50. You think that two of the most cruel insults in the world are "Mudblood" and "Muggle".

51. You assume that when someone says "poltergeist" they’re talking about Peeves. ~

52. You think that one of your teachers is a squib. ~

53. You call one of your friends "Fawkes" and she responds like it's been her name forever. ~

54. You hear the word "Professor" and you try to remember if you did your online transfiguration homework. ~

55. You see your math teacher being totally A.D.D. and you wonder if he's had just a little to much FireWhiskey. ~

56. You claim that you are not planning to stalk J.K.R. ~

57. You claim that J.K.R. will eventually sell you the rights to her characters and the beautiful world that she has created for them…sooner or later… ~

58. You claim that stalking J.K.R. is not your reason for moving to the U.K. after you graduate. ~

59. You've decided not to kill off Harry in your sequel series to the "Harry Potter and The…" septology-you're just going to drive him completely mad and land him in Azkaban Prison. ~

60. You plan to "hex" your math teacher "into next year" if he argues with you "one more time…". ~

61. Someone tries to tell you that "Hogwarts isn’t real", and you smack them and start to tell them all of your "still un-tried" theories on how to get there…even if your are not "enrolled". ~

62. You seem to think that the 'beast-like-thing' in the jungle on the "Lost" island in Professor McGonagall on a menopausal rampage, trying to figure out where she is and how the heck to get back. ~

63. When you see an owl or two you look for a piece of parchment attached to one of their legs and wonder exactly what they’re doing "so far from Hogwarts during the school year". ~

64. You see two cats walking down the street side-by-side and you wonder "Who’s the new Animagus?". ~

65. You have accepted the fact that you are a (Harry Potter) freak and have told others to just "deal with it". ~

66. You say that you don’t need a ride, you'll "just Floo there". ~

67. You know what I mean when I say "One of the Weasleys is Lost!". ~

68. strikethrough/ You think “Maggie Gambon” is starting to sound "really good right about now" strikethrough/ .

69. strikethrough/ You understood/agreed with that last one. strikethrough/

70. You get EXTREMELY offended when and if someone calls you a muggle. ~

71. You know that Ron and Hermione are as meant to be "as Walt and Disney". ~

72. You know that Harry and Ginny are as meant to be as salt and pepper. ~

73. You call your history class Muggle Studies. ~

74. You have started to call you P.E. class Flying Lessons. ~

75. You have started to call chemistry or cooking class Potions. ~

76. When you computer gets a virus, randomly shuts down, or other such problems, you yell out in frustration, "BLOODY MUGGLE TECHNOLOGY!" ~

77. You think that lit sparklers look like "wands in action". (Cammie, shut up... lol) ~

78. When you see any type of Harry Potter merchandise on anyone (including people you don’t know) you say "Boo-Yah! Hogwarts pride, man! Way to show your Hogwarts pride!" and high five them. ~

79. You are a "regular" on three or more roleplaying games on AIM or YIM ~

80. You worry about your homework on your online Hogwarts' more than your "real" homework. ~

81. When you (think that you) hear that oh-so-familiar screaming, screeching noise of the un-potted Mandrakes you wonder what the 'de-petrifaction' potion tastes like… ~

82. You watch “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie” and laugh your ass off when you hear Dame Maggie Smith say "Petrification". ~

83. You buy a Harry Potter gift bag or wrapping paper and after hours of careful thought you decide that "it may be a collectable someday" and put it in your "shrine" area with all of your other Harry Potter merchandise. ~

84. You wonder if your mother has a cell (and I'm not talking phone!) with her name on it in Azkaban Prison. ~

85. You’ve stopped having your "morning coffee"; instead you now have you "morning tea" and you take the time to read your tea leaves when you're done to determine if your day will be good or not. ~

86. You "celebrate" your favorite character's birthday every year (with a cake and everything…). ~

87. You watch “Lord Of The Rings” and when you see Sir Ian Macellen and you start whispering this to anyone who will listen; "Look-it’s the real new Dumbledore". ~

88. You think that J.K.R. will never die because she "has the Sorcerer’s Stone". ~

89. You think that Sirius Black is coming back as Sirius White. ~

90. You refer to the task of going to "school" (meaning not Hogwarts) as the now quote Wizarding form of Jury Duty quote as "Muggle Watching". ~

91. Every time you hear a song on the radio a songfic plays in your head while you hear the song. ~

(These next ones are the work of one of my friends; Fawkes! She's a person, not Dumbly's bird, lol!)

92. You refuse to eat fudge. (For the longest time I had fudge with a capitol 'F' and then AshlyPotter(Fawkes) pointed out to me that it looked wrong...) ~

93. You’re afraid of curtains. (Think Sirius. SobbSobb) ~

94. You named your pets after characters in the "Holy Books". ~

95. You classified all of your teachers based on teachers from the books. ~

96. You think the movies suck. ~

97. You think the movies suck because they didn't follow the books exactly. ~

98. You think J.K.R. is a goddess. ~

99. You plan on naming your kids after the characters. ~

100. Your friends couldn't come in contact with you after you finished the fifth book because they knew it was all you'd talk about and they were't done with the book yet. ~

101. You can talk for three hours straight about all of your theories and how they all go together and tie into each other. ~

102. You have at least three different nicknames for yourself from the books. ~

103. You have the sudden urge to beat up people who haven't read the books. ~

104. You lust after people in the books. (Let me stress that this one is from Chelsea!)

105. When the 5th(& 6th)book/movie came out you dressed for the occasion and went to the book store to celebrate. ~

106. Your parents had to send you to a special school that teaches, talks and dresses like Hogwarts so that you could actually learn something. ~

(Now they're mine again.)

107. You have little children who can guess who you are for Halloween and you're not Harry Potter. ~

108. Your make your friend dress up like your "familiar" to make yourself happy on Halloween. ~

109. You have a pen that says any of the following phrases; "Harry James Potter", "AD + MM forever", "Fudge Is Bad", "LE + JP forever", "Professor (insert your last name here)", "RW + HG forever", "Sirius Lives!", "HP + GW forever", "Lemon Drops Are Good", "RW + LL forever", "Hogwarts", "Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandos","HP + LL forever", "Ravenclaw (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin) Pride!", or "HP + CC forever" ~

110. You actually have or know someone who has a shirt that says something along the lines of "Fudge Is Bad".

111. You have ever yelled "Expecto Patronum" at somebody. ~

112. You're planning on watching "The Golden Girls" TV show just so you can replace the characters in the show with your favourite Hogwarts professors and call it fanfiction. ~

113. You expect your "non-freak" friends to give you more reasons, why you're too much of a Harry Potter freak, that you haven't thought of yet. ~

114. You go around telling your friends that one of the actors, who plays your favourite character from the books, is your boyfriend/girlfriend.

115. You go around telling people that one of the actors or J.K. Rowling is related to you... distantly... ~

116. You have a lightning bolt shaped scar that is in fact... authentic... ~

117. You "have" your favourite character’s wand, but "won't take it out of the box to show people, in fear of something happening to it."

118. You can tell the difference between Fred and George Weasley in the movies. ~

119. You've ever heard the phrase, "I won't talk to you until you cut out the fake British accent.", directed towards you more than three times. ~

120. When you're friends ask what you're doing when it's obvious, we've all been in that situation, you say, "I'm taking my animagus lessons, what does it look like?" ~

121. Your friend says, "Anybody would be proud" and you respond, "What? Trelawney would be Frou?" (Yes, as in Austin Powers). ~

122. This thought has ever crossed your mind; "I wonder if Harry is real person..." ~

123. You've started to call one of yours friends "Buckbeak", because of the way he eats. ~

124. You see Santa Claus and start to think how much he looks like Dumbledore. (Thanks Ms.President!) ~

125. You have changed your hair colour to that of your favorite character's hair colour.

126. You have started spelling favorite, flavor and color as fovourite, flavour and colour. (Thanks Fawkes!) ~

127. You begin to call your sister Dolores and she doesn't get it because she hasn't been forced to read the books...yet...(Thanks Cammie!) ~

128. You've ever wondered what one of the characters would look like with an afro...(Thanks Cammie!) ~

129. Your English teacher ordered the "Double Trouble" sheet music for you. (Thanks Ms. Garlit!) ~

130. You wouldn't let anyone touch the sheet music once you got it. (Thanks Ms. Garlit!) ~

(These next ones are the work of the best English teacher ever!)

131. Your mom yelled at you for pulling out a feather from her Pottery Barn toss pillow to see if you could float them. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

132. You bought a set of paperback editions of Harry Potter books for your classroom because you don't trust the bloody muggles who forget their SSR books to treat the hardbacks nicely! Hmph!

133. You have a Harry Potter poster hanging in your classroom that has been laminated to protect it from greasy fingers or push-pin pokes.

134. You wish you could do your Christmas shopping... well ANY shopping at Diagon Alley. ~

135. You think a cool name for a shop or even a bar is "The Leaky Cauldron." ~

136. You have sorted the characters on "Lost" into their appropriate houses. ~

137. Your mom or grandma crocheted a scarf in your favorite house colors... rugby striped style!

138. You spend time with your students figuring out who the perfect couples are and can support your ideas with textual evidence. ~

139. If you play Magic the Gathering, you've built a deck full of centaurs and call it your Firenze Fury deck.

140. You wish you had a Time-Turner so you could spend time talking to your students after school instead of tutoring or attending some shirty school meeting. That's right, I said shirty! ~

(Ms. Garlit, you're a dork. lol)

141. You have officially invited people to you and your fangirlism's wedding... ~

You know what's sad?
1: I'm guilty of more than 75 percent of this list. Or, at least, I used to be.
B: I go through and check for typos and mispunctuations on my profile every about... month and a half and I usually add something or have an ongoing debate with myself. Like the part at the beginning where I say something about Jillian and I'm all nice and friendly and then I say that I would rather drown in my own feces than ever see her face again and that she can go fuck a pig... It should say 'dead pig'. I wouldn't want to subject any live animal to that kind of punishment -shudder- I wouldn't be able to fuck Jill if someone put a gun to my head and told me I had to fuck her or get shot in the face. Buuhhh... I'd -SO- rather get shot in the face!
3: I say "One ... And B ... And thirdly..." And I also type it and then when I realize how dorky it is, I just kind of shrug, bold it and click save. Heh.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Storm Of Temptation by Dutchman89 reviews
Devil Wears Prada Miranda's younger brother decides to drop by. He manages to bring his sister and her assistant a Hell of a lot closer and falls for Nigel in the process. Slash Femslash, better summary inside. AndyXMiranda, NigelXOMC
Devil Wears Prada - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,655 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 7/3/2007
In A World Without Sarcasm by Dutchman89 reviews
Devil Wears Prada These are going to be a whole bunch of drabblesshort fics in which I take quotes from DWP WAY too seriously. MirandaAndy, femslash and a lot of humor. Any additional warnings will be included in the chapter.
Devil Wears Prada - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,364 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/20/2012 - Published: 7/19/2007
Thrice The Tabby Cat Hath Mew'd by Amandah Leigh reviews
ADMM / MMAD - Minerva McGonagall leaves Hogwarts pregnant and alone, except for her three best friends Hooch, Sinistra and Pomfrey. She then returns to study with Albus Dumbledore. They have both been hurt before. Can they help each other learn to love?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 65,526 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 11/28/2004 - [Albus D., Minerva M.]
Stay The Night by JustSteph reviews
An angstless chance encounter between our two lovely ladies...
CSI - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,283 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Catherine W., Sara S. - Complete
Viva Las Vegas! by Catwoman99 reviews
Albus & Minerva head to Las Vegas for a little vacation. Will it lead to romance or disaster? Will they meet Elvis? Wayne Newton? Does what happen in Vegas, really stay in Vegas? MMAD, of course.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,313 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/22/2007 - Published: 8/5/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
It's good to want by Cherline reviews
[The Devil Wears Prada] You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need. MirandaXAndy Oneshot! Complete!
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,822 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/4/2007 - Complete
In Front Of A Fire by kosmos9 reviews
[Devil Wears Prada] Cold things melt in front of warm things. MirandaAndy.
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,476 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/3/2007 - Complete
Zero Return Game by kosmos9 reviews
[Devil Wears Prada] In which Miranda sucks at investing in the stock market, and in her employees. MirandaAndy.
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 885 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/3/2007 - Complete
What If? by Marish89 reviews
The Devil Wears Prada. Imagine that Andy ran into Miranda after Paris. How did they go from being almost enemies to lovers? Uses the deleted scene with Miranda’s husband at the Benefit.
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,416 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/9/2007 - Published: 9/7/2007 - Complete
A Visitor Comes to Town by kosmos9 reviews
[Devil Wears Prada] Nate comes to visit. Miranda gets possessive. Andy gets confused. MirandaAndy, Nate.
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,510 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Plane Ride To Paris by thatsall reviews
[The Devil Wears Prada] You ever wonder what happened on the plane ride to Paris? This was meant to be a oneshot, but now it's going to be a story! Warning: MirandaAndy femslash later on it will more than likely be rated M
Misc. Movies - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,707 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/25/2007 - Published: 5/13/2007
Paperwork II by MBInc reviews
Sequel to Paperwork. WARNING: FEMMESLASH. CS.
CSI - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,015 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/23/2007 - Sara S., Catherine W. - Complete
Pattern by willowpowered reviews
Catherine's developed a pattern.
CSI - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,686 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/17/2007 - Catherine W., Sara S. - Complete
Beastly Impropriety by nymwise reviews
McGonagall accepts a little challenge from a colleague...Rated PG13 for alcohol use and referential nudity. Fluffy Femmeslash All Around!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,873 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Published: 1/23/2007 - Minerva M., R. Hooch - Complete
Scarlet Secrets by Jellicos reviews
Kate finds herself alone at work wondering what would happen if she just took a little peak at that profile Abby put up. KateAbby Femslash! Spoilers for Forced Entry Season 2
NCIS - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Kate T., Abby S. - Complete
Eve's Company by antychan reviews
[The Devil Wears Prada] Miranda is trying to work. Andy has other ideas. Fluff, Femslash. MirandaAndy.
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,028 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/3/2006 - Complete
DARED THE TRUTH le partie deux by happiethots reviews
The morning after the game. chapter 3 up .CS pairing.
CSI - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,441 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/17/2006 - Published: 6/12/2006 - Sara S., Catherine W. - Complete
Dark Phoenix by Catwoman99 reviews
After Voldemort falls, Minerva finds herself face to face with the one who killed the man she loved most. ADMM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,607 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/7/2006 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
More than I by TabbyMin reviews
Minerva and Albus, and Minerva and Potter, or is it Albus and Severus. Who loves who?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/31/2006 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
The Benefit of Time by minni reviews
It was years ago; ten to be precise that they fell in love. And it is ten years later that they are able to face each other. But there are some things later in life that were not present when she was young, including a secret that can make them go the dis
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 126,681 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/17/2005 - Published: 1/10/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
The Parent Trap by Quill of Minerva reviews
Two girls meet in a busy Diagon Alley. They discover a secret that has been kept from them for ten years. Can they bring the secret out into the open and bring their parents back together? ADMM.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 58,604 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/9/2005 - Published: 3/6/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Book of Life by TartanLioness reviews
Just a small poem written from Minerva's POV... R&R please!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/17/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
And Rock Me Asleep by Nerweniel reviews
The story of Minerva McGonagall's life and of the quest which changed it. ADMM.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 14,678 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/2/2005 - Published: 12/28/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Ceilidh by Quill of Minerva reviews
Minerva introduces the love of her life, Albus, to her family at their yearly Ceilidh dance.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,192 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/7/2005 - Published: 2/7/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Payback by 27dayz reviews
Aberforth Dumbledore feels he owes his brother alot and he wants to pay him back. He knows Albus won't take gold. After seeing an interaction between Albus and Minerva, he decides to play match maker. Will his plans work or will mayhem break loose?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,232 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/19/2005 - Published: 9/26/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
When Eternity Ceases by Leyaeb reviews
During the battle against Grindelwald-Albus is admitted to St. Mungo's because of the torturous experience, and Minerva watches him forget the love they had. Happy ending! There will be 8 chaps! Please R and R!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,254 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/4/2005 - Published: 2/24/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Look At You Girl by Always Hopeful reviews
Albus decides to tell Minerva he loves her at the Yule Ball! One Shot! COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,015 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 20 - Published: 3/20/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Freaky Monday by Juliette4 reviews
Albus and Minerva have switched bodies! What will happen? Special Author's note at end of chap 7, please read!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,527 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/15/2005 - Published: 8/26/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
An Angel by TartanLioness reviews
Albus needs a friend. Desperately. Will Minerva be there for him? Of course she will! Rated for some language... Read and Review please!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,156 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/17/2005 - Published: 2/7/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Merry Christmas? by TartanLioness reviews
Mac's alone in the HQ on Chrismas eve. I know it's late for christmas but read it anyways! my first posted JAG fic
JAG - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,351 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/16/2005
Taking Up The Gage by Lady Angharad reviews
An anthology of short stories written in response to challenges issued at the Albus and Minerva Fan Fiction Board and at Live Journal.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,901 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/1/2005 - Published: 10/12/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
After The Boggart by TartanLioness reviews
What happened after the Boggart? wanna know? read this! PURE FLUFF! Rated because of swearwords... R and R please!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,487 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Published: 2/1/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
The Bertie Bott's Bean by TartanLioness reviews
Just wondering about that Bertie Bott's Albus ate when he was young that made him never want to touch them again... Short but cute (I think!)Read and Reveiw!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 785 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/24/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
The Heart Is The Matter by TartanLioness reviews
Albus gets a letter with a heart drawn on the back of it. Why is Minerva avoiding him? And who is Kathleen? Rated for a few swearwords...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,511 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/24/2005 - Published: 1/21/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Minerva's New Hair by TartanLioness reviews
Minerva unwillingly changes her hairstyle... Extremely random!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,277 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/16/2005 - Minerva M.
Dueling by TartanLioness reviews
My response to the Dueling Challenge... Yeah, I was really creative on my title, eh? lol
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/15/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
You're WHAT! by TartanLioness reviews
Albus askes Minerva to join him one evening in his office... He has something to tell her... NOT something Minerva want to hear!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/15/2005 - Published: 1/9/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Furballs, Minerva? by TartanLioness reviews
What is Minerva hiding in her napkin?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,651 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 1/15/2005 - Published: 1/5/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Her Chance Gone by Quill of Minerva reviews
Minerva decided to reveal her feelings to Albus as soon as he arrives back from his holiday. Her hopes are dashed when he returns with his fiancée. Epilogue POSTED!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,042 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/9/2005 - Published: 10/6/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
The Boggart by TartanLioness reviews
Min walk in on a Boggart!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/5/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
How Dumbledore Broke His Nose by TartanLioness reviews
Ever wondered how AD broke his nose? This is my take on it. Not really romance, but if you read my story 'Petrified' this story is mentioned
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/18/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Petrified by TartanLioness reviews
What if one of the teachers had been petrified during CoS? PG13 for safty.. My first fic on! yay! ADMM and a tiny bit of HPHG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,473 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/16/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Scandalous by Palanfanaiel reviews
Everyone loves the new teacher, and at the end of her graduation, a Spring Ball is up, so Minerva decides to do something about him. MMAD
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,680 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 15 - Published: 12/6/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Christmas Through Your Eyes by Always Hopeful reviews
One shot! COMPLETE! Minerva hasn't really gotten into the Christmas spirit. It's up to Albus to help her relax. Can he?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,234 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/3/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
One Too Many by Quill of Minerva reviews
Aberforth and Albus have one too many firewhiskeys and end up back at Hogwarts where Albus decides to tell a certain Deputy Headmistress just what he feels for her. Please read and review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,724 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 23 - Published: 12/3/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
It's Up To You New York, New York by Sensiblyquirky reviews
Albus invites Minerva on a vacation to New York City! Takes place after the first war with Voldemort. The rating is for a later chapter.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,348 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 17 - Updated: 12/2/2004 - Published: 10/30/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Breaching the Wall by Dicere reviews
There are some rules which should not be broken. But in the darkest time, one rule-abiding Scottish witch is willing to try...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/2/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Minerva's Mirror by mugglemin reviews
Minerva has a morning conversation with her mirror. No longer a one-shot...WIP
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,574 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/29/2004 - Published: 10/10/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
By The Way They Dance by Aurinko reviews
The night of Minerva McGonagall’s graduation ball, a few truths come to light. ADMM songficchallenge response. Pure fluff. [oneshot]
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/27/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
A Caged Lioness by Minerva's Kittens reviews
Letting Albus leave for an Order mission in the middle of an argument Minerva worries herself to exhaustion on whether her last words to him would be: "Go, just go." Don't worry this is a one-shot with a happy ending!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,325 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/17/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
There Is Always Paris by Quill of Minerva reviews
Albus runs away from his heart to Paris but his heart follows him. Please Read and Review
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,311 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
She was a Phantom of Delight by Intelligent Witch reviews
A summary of Albus and Minerva’s life ADMM a little AU-ish
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/6/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
MMAD About You! by E. Tani. Tsarcorp reviews
TASTE TESTERS WANTED: Albus. Minerva. Fluff. Little bit of angst thrown in for good measure. Stir. no cooking required. One Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,944 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Published: 11/3/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Of Sexynightgowns and Big Muscles by Sensiblyquirky reviews
Just some mindless fluff...Minerva has a nightmare.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/1/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Calendar Witches by Sphinxey reviews
A response to a challenge I have posted as the first chapter, which I wrote after seeing the film 'Calendar Girls'. Hermione decides hogwarts should make a calendar to raise money for the school... Will be MMAD, HGSS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,759 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 10/27/2004 - Published: 9/5/2004 - Hermione G., Minerva M.
He Finally Said, I love You by Intelligent Witch reviews
Feelings that were thought to be hidden away so the relationship would continue come back unexpectedly ADMM fluff
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 505 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/22/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Walls by Sensiblyquirky reviews
One-shot. Can Albus let Minerva inside his internal walls, or will he forever keep her out?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,504 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Published: 10/21/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Taking a Break by RootOfAsphodel reviews
-COMPLETE- In the process of trying to solve all the world's problems, Albus has taken over the staffroom, and it’s up to Minerva to get him to take a break.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,584 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 28 - Published: 10/19/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
Pretending by Sensiblyquirky reviews
In order to avoid Minerva's family's constant remarks about her love life, or lack of one, Albus offers to pretend to be her boyfriend for a week. Do they find love, or are they just pretending? Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,327 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/18/2004 - Published: 10/1/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Under Quarantine by Jestana reviews
Albus has the measles and Minerva catches it from him. What happens when they're in quarantine together for two weeks?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,086 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/25/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Minerva's First Mother's Day by Sensiblyquirky reviews
Ok in this one Hermione and Minerva bond, but there is ADMM which is why I want it placed here. Hermione and Minerva help each other out during the trio's third year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,127 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/24/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Witch Sitting by Quill of Minerva reviews
Albus asks his brother to keep an eye on someone while he is away. Misunderstandings lead to confusion, anger, embarrassment and love.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,783 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 17 - Updated: 9/9/2004 - Published: 8/10/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Truth Unveiled by Leyaeb reviews
One night in the summer after book 5, when neither Harry nor Minerva can sleep, they end up talking. Truths are revealed and Harry discovers that his professor's life is not what he thought it was. ADMM. Please R and R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/6/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Is he gone? by Little-Purple-Pony reviews
After Umbridge's attempt to make Albus leave Hogwarts, where does he hide? PG-13 possibly for later chap. UPDATED 8-16! AN added as of 8-21
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,121 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/25/2004 - Published: 7/31/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Staying Alive by Nerweniel reviews
Rolanda Hooch has a crazy idea and forces Serena Sinistra to participate. The object: relaxing Minerva McGonagall. Involves: singing, dancing, a stage, a Beegee-voice and mini-skirts.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 15,964 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/12/2004 - Published: 2/8/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Oooh, Fight! by Portkeys Miss-Mione reviews
Minerva is tired of doing nothing, but Albus doesn't want to let her do anything. Time to do something about it. R&R please. I hope you like it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,990 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Published: 7/30/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Under the Egyptian Sun by minni reviews
Through a game of cards, Albus wins reservations to egypt, not quite by accident. Albus takes Minerva on the getaway...a lot can happen in 10 days. What they find is the sun is no more the only thing burning under the land of the egyptian sun. 1920 set
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 78,139 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/29/2004 - Published: 10/9/2003 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Boggart! by mugglemin reviews
There's another boggart in the staff room wardrobe and Moody realises that a magic eye can sometimes be more of a curse than a blessing...This story is rated according to your imagination - I'm taking no risks...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,818 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/8/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
When I kissed the Teacher by TartanPhoenix reviews
Minerva is about to leave. Is it still to late for Albus?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 19 - Published: 6/22/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
It's all in the look by TartanPhoenix reviews
Sometimes it only takes a look
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 965 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Published: 6/15/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Oppposites by blackbutterfly88 reviews
Freaky Friday: Harry Potter Style! NOT A FEMMESLASH! That is TOO gross to even THINK about! This was co-written with foxxy-chicca911, who is Minerva, and i am Hermione, aiight, i suck at summaries, just R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,710 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/28/2004 - Minerva M., Hermione G.
Neville L and the Tradition of the Last Dance by Dicere reviews
Neville leaves his hat at the Yule Ball, and discovers the Hogwarts tradition of the last dance when he goes back to recover it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,278 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/14/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
The Sorting by LinZE reviews
A short fic that was floating around in my head for an age - and I bashed out for my stunning beta grin Being the Head of Gryffindor isn't all sweetness and frivolity.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 535 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2004 - Minerva M.
Wild Lavender by Dicere reviews
PWP; Albus and Minerva are, um, well, intimate. Romantically intimate, OK?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 744 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 25 - Published: 9/1/2003 - Minerva M., Albus D.
After the Excitement by Dicere reviews
A 'missing scene' story in the middle of OOTP. Read the book, or this will make no sense!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,654 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/25/2003 - Minerva M., Albus D.
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The Perfect Ending To The Worst Day reviews
Minerva has some issues in her classroom and Albus melts them away! Awww! Cute! Warning: FLUFF!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,260 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/12/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Untitled Darkness reviews
If you are suicide squimish then you might want to avoid this story. It has emotions of not going back and being stuck with only on solution. Set after the great war with ya'allknowwho...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 744 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/12/2005 - Minerva M.
The Tears I Cry reviews
Minerva thinks about what has happened to her love and her life...Read and Review please...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 621 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/12/2005 - Minerva M., Minerva M.
You Never Do That Anymore reviews
Albus walks in on Minerva unexpectedly...hehe...what will happen? Story inside...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Published: 2/26/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Stuck In A Room With Potter reviews
Lily Evans gets suck in a room with James Potter. Will this little mishap blossom into romance? Of course it will!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,952 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/26/2005 - Published: 1/13/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P.
Return To Hogwarts And Such reviews
Minerva and Albus have a bit of an intimate night a few weeks before she graduates and then she comes back. What will happen now? Please Read and Review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,194 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/23/2005 - Published: 12/14/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
Ticklish, My Dear? reviews
Has anyone else ever wondered if either Minerva or Albus was ticklish? Well for those of you who have; read this and wonder no more...R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,653 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/30/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Climbing Into windows reviews
Albus comes back to Headquarters late at night and the front door and all the windows have been locked, at except the window of a certain Minerva McGonagall...What will happen? R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/4/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M.
I've Been Waiting For You reviews
Minerva has just been released from St. Mungos and feels the need to go back to Hogwarts right away, as Hogwarts has become her home. She sees the love of her life and Poppy now owes Rolanda money
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/28/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
I Will Not Cry reviews
Just another poem from me.'s not from's from Minnie...To Albie! Anyways! R&R please!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/25/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
It's About Ruddy Time! reviews
Albus decides to show Minerva how he feels in this little story I like to call "It's About Ruddy Time", becaue of the last line! Please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,023 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Published: 12/24/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Telling You reviews
Minerva tells Albus how she feels about him in a poem. (I'm on a poetry kick, so if you're getting sick of my poems then; I'm sorry!)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 424 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/22/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
You reviews
A poem that's kind of sad, but then again, I'm still in a kind of depressed mood still. Please review and lighten my mood!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/22/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Walk By reviews
Just another poem from me about Minerva and Albus, hope you enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/22/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Santa Claus reviews
Albus, Minerva and Filius dress up for the holidays. It seems that "Santa" gives gifts that "aren't material items". Well . . . just read it and you'll see what I mean. Reviews make me smile!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Hello, Love reviews
Minerva's missing Albus a bit a writes him a poem.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 372 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/20/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.
Truth Or Dare reviews
This is a cute piece with ADMM pairing and a fun, fun game of Truth or Dare. No longer a one-shot! New plot bunny! Please Read!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,321 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/19/2004 - Published: 11/29/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Merlin! It Took Them Long Enough! reviews
They finally admit it, it's by accident, but it's been said. . . Thank Merlin, now we can all get on with our lives! Read and Review to get cookies!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/14/2004 - Albus D., Minerva M.