Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, and Diadem.
IF I WAS A CATEGORY ON "JEOPARDY"...
Alex Trebec: "Today we're welcoming back our current champion, Gladis "the Gladiator" Wurstasser, with her streak of three games" (mild applause) "And we're saying hello to our two new contestants, Merriam Webster, an editor for a prominent dictionary (mild applause), and Attila the Hun who (Alex squints at his cards) rapes, pillages and loots for a living. (polite applause) But let's play Jeopardy! Show us the subjects!" "Meitora" flashes above all the columns.
Alex Trebec: "Well, that just proves how totally random our questions are. Gladis, since you're the champion, we'll start with you."
Gladis: "Meitora for 100"
Alex: "This sport is one our author gave up."
Merriam: "Track and Field. noun. Athletic events perfomed on a running track and associated field."
Alex: "That was a wonderfully technical definition, Merriam, but I'm afraid you must phrase your response in the form of a question. Gladis, back to you.
Gladis: "Meitora for 200" Alex: "Sticking with what you know, I see. Okay. This presidential candidate is for whom Meitora will be casting her vote, come November."
Attila: "Who is Ghengis Kahn?"
Alex: "No. Gladis? Merriam?" (boop boop boop) "The answer was President Bush. Yes, that's right. We'll be back after this short break!"
Cat food commercial*
Alex: "And we're back. So, Attila, tell us more about what you do for a living."
Attila: "I rape, pillage and loot. Exactly as it says on my business card. Why? You need somebody taken care of?"
Alex: "Hahaha you're such a joker! And... Gladis! You're still in control."
Gladis: "Meitora for 300" (computerized music)
Alex: "You've hit our Daily Double! How much do you want to wager? (pause) okay, the question is... This prestigious institution of higher learning is where Meitora learns to butcher grammar." (doodoo doodoo doodoo DOO! theme music)
Alex: "Okay Gladis, let's see what you've got... UC Irving? No... I'm afraid that's not it. The actual answer is G*(this answer censored for sercurity purposes)*" (Alex looks around to see where the asterisks came from) "You can't censor me! I'm the host!" (censorship men enter in black suits and carry away Alex, Gladis, and Merriam. Attila the Hun disembowels several before they learn to leave him alone. The television shows snow, then a 'Friends' re-run comes on. Canned laughter drowns out the sound of Alex Trebec having his memory wiped.)
well, that ended a little darker than I meant it to, but it was fun. Send me an email, eh? Aroo!