Gliblord
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Joined 10-15-04, id: 687923, Profile Updated: 11-19-09
Author has written 21 stories for Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Tales of the Abyss, Naruto, One Piece, and Adventure Time with Finn and Jake.

My name is Giuseppe di Martino, though you can call me "Gezzaya the Beetle Lord of the Seventy-Million-and-Eighteenth Dimension, an Alternate Pocket of Reality That Is Exactly Like Our Earth, Except That Krakatoa Erupted in 889 A.D., Cher Is Pregnant With a Clone of Herself, And It's Lorded Over by Men Who Are Half Beetle." You could call me that, but it would be rather silly, not to mention time consuming and (mostly) inaccurate.

Many worldlings elect to call me "Joe," and you may do so as well, at no cost whatsoever. I am a kind man; I charge no royalties.

You may note a distinct lack of disclaimers in my fics. That would be due to the fact that I think they're dumb. Did you know that from a purely lawyerly standpoint, fanfiction is pretty illegal, no matter how earnestly you beg people not to sue? It's an exhilarating life, committing a crime with every keystroke. I marvel at my own prowess evading the law's cold, merciless clutches. That, however, is only part of the reason I write these homages to my favorite series. I also do it for commercial gain.

As for the sordid details of my life, I shall keep mum, and cultivate an alluring mystique. I will tell you this much: If you ever hear a frantic gibbering in the night, odds are decent it's either me or one of my repulsive swamp zebras. Do excuse them; they seem to resent all the probings, and won't shut up about them. Don't be alarmed if in the clinging shadows the gleam of their equine yet strangely reptilian eyes penetrates your very soul--in reality, it's only a very mild poking of the soul.

That is all.

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Musings on the War of Marineford by HeartFout reviews
Various character's views on what happened in the great war. 20. Robin 21. Mihawk 22. Boa 23. Coby 24. Shanks 25. Ivankov 26. Oars Jr 27. Shiki 28. Benn 29. Helmeppo (again) 30. Marco
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 16,689 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 1/28 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Kizaru, Sengoku
Troper Tales: Volume One by RubberLotusShipper reviews
A collection of one-shots featuring One Piece characters following various tropes. Chapter Thirty: Who did they expect to be the final boss? Blackbeard? The Five Elder Stars? Ha!
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 30 - Words: 35,697 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Complete
Shards by Griffinkhan reviews
[Oneshot] Largo knew well that strength alone could not solve everything.
Tales of the Abyss - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,299 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2007 - Largo, Arietta - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Cresting Mirrors reviews
Brook teaches Nami an important lesson about fear.
One Piece - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,277 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/26/2013 - Nami, Brook, Laboon - Complete
Just Add Tournament Arc! reviews
And presto, a new crackfic series is born.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,020 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/17/2012 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Kūgo G., Ganju S.
Quasipan the Nigh Lord
Finn and Jake must wage battle with a psychic alien cat overlord in order to recover Finn's memories. But can they overcome a series of obstacles inside their own minds?
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,557 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Finn, Jake
No One Doesn't Love Friend Time with Shuu Chan! reviews
Just when I thought I'd left the Bleach crackfic addiction behind me, Kubo had to come up with another ridiculously, irresistibly lulzy haxathon.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,072 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/29/2011 - S. Tsukishima, Kūgo G.
Dances with Devils reviews
The crew has just reunited after 3D2Y, but a hermetic cult of Satan worshiping endtimes elitist misfits have quite the human sacrifice scheme in store for our lovable Straw Hats-masterminded by a sinister and mysterious figure from Sanji's past.
One Piece - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,771 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/16/2011 - Published: 8/15/2011 - Luffy, Sanji - Complete
Devil Fruit reviews
The story of how the characters of One Piece came across their Devil Fruits.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,531 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Chopper, Brook
Bad Pirates reviews
Luffy reminisces on tales of bad pirates past.
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,589 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/3/2010 - Luffy, Nami - Complete
Ichigo's Mom Is Pretty Hax reviews
Oh, Aizen, you got played.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,968 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Ichigo K. - Complete
The Visionary reviews
Sakura/Naruto drabble.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,034 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/20/2009 - Sakura H., Hinata H.
How Aizen Recovered His Rightful Groove reviews
Gin and Aizen reflect on just how they got so ridiculously, plotbendingly powerful. NOTE: DEADFIC.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,251 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/15/2008 - Published: 8/10/2007 - S. Aizen, G. Ichimaru
Help reviews
Byakuya/Yoruichi. Yoruichi has issued an S.O.S., and Byakuya rushes to her aid, just as she helped him so many years ago...
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,033 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Byakuya K., Yoruichi S. - Complete
The Lion Alone reviews
The Score has inflicted itself upon Largo and his tribe for far too long. Dare he partake in destroying the Score? Or is Van Grants just another link in a long line of liars?
Tales of the Abyss - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,219 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Largo, Van
Guts reviews
A mushtastic RenjiRukia fic rife with reminiscence and fluff.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,573 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/14/2007 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
Comparison reviews
Rukia can barely speak under the weight of her new name.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,495 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/23/2007 - Rukia K., Byakuya K. - Complete
The Crimson Torrent reviews
Old ScarLust drabble. Scar is so awesome it's hard to elaborate.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Lust, Scar - Complete
Trashtalk reviews
What Urahara and Yoruichi engage in every weekend.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,873 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/9/2007 - K. Urahara, Yoruichi S. - Complete
Reversal of Fortune reviews
Yoruichi must teach Byakuya to free his mind, so to speak. He has unwittingly given her the tools to achieve that end. Her name is Hisana. She's a lowly commoner. Yoruichi licks her lips. Oh, this will be fun.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,196 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Byakuya K., Yoruichi S. - Complete
Show Your Weakness reviews
Soi Fong observed the man with the impossibly huge grin. He was a friend of Yoruichi's. One that wasn't her. He would have to perish for this sin.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,474 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/9/2007 - K. Urahara, Suì-Fēng - Complete
Damn Hughes reviews
The illicit brainchild of my sizzling wit and a challenge to make a RoyDante fic. Don't worry, your brain will not burn as much as mine did writing this. I strove against the subject matter to make it great. Needless to say, I delivered.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,893 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
A Brief History of the Bounto reviews
If you missed the filler, fear not: this handy document shall sate your inexplicable thirst to know all about the Bounto and their increasingly nonsensical storyline!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,747 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Ichigo K., Uryuu I. - Complete
Contrast reviews
AU Tatsuki, now a shinigami in training, must write on a subject she knows nothing about for a contest she hasn't a chance of winning. Enter the newly venerated, adored and adulated idiot named Ichigo. Will she improve under his tutelage in time?
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,327 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Tatsuki A., Ichigo K. - Complete