felix-hortensio
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Joined 10-16-04, id: 688536
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.

Is it... history?

Is it... philosophy?

Is it... theology?

...or is it badfic:


I. Underage Smut and Bestiality!

25. Warm and cherishing applications from living bodies are not to be neglected. Ficinus' says, and that not in joke, that the laying of the young maid in David's bosom would have done him good, but that it came too late. He ought how-ever to have added that the maid, like the Persian virgins, should have been anointed with myrrh and the like, not for the pleasure of it, but to increase the cherishing virtue from the living body.

26. Barbarossa in his last days, by the advice of a Jewish physician, continually applied young boys to his stomach, to warm and cherish it. Some old men likewise apply puppies, which are animals of the hottest kind, to their stomachs at night.

-Francis Bacon, History of Life and Death; 1623.


II. Anti-Canon Pairings!

The bishop, seeing that his words were of no avail and that the people entrusted to his charge were being subverted from the faith by the devil's agents, summoned a certain clerk that he knew, who was very well versed in necromancy, and said, "Certain men in my city are doing so and so. I ask you to find out from the devil by your art who they are, whence they come, and by what means so many and so wonderful miracles are wrought."

-Caesarius of Heisterbach, Dialogue on Miracles V; c. 1220.


III. Bamf!Sues!

I was sent forth from the power, and I have come to those who reflect upon me, and I have been found among those who seek after me. Look upon me, you who reflect upon me, and you hearers, hear me. (...) Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard! Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last. I am the honored one and the scorned one. I am the whore and the holy one.

-"The Thunder, Perfect Mind," Nag Hammadi Codex VI; ~200 CE.


IV. N Degrees of OOCness!

We read also of a certain holy man, who once found the devil preaching in the form of a devout priest preaching in a church, and knowing in his spirit that is was the devil, observed his words, whether he was teaching the people well or ill. And finding him irreproachable and inveighing against sin, he went up to him at the end of the sermon and asked him the reason for this. And the devil answered: I preach the truth, knowing that, because they are hearers of the word only, and not doers, God is the more offended and my gain is increased.

-Heinrich Kramer & James Sprenger, Malleus Maleficarum (Part II, Question I, Chapter IX); 1486.


V. Weird and Nifty Gadgets!

The clerk responded, "How is it that they cannot be injured, or sunk in the water, or burned by fire?"

The demon replied again, "They have under their arm-pits, sewed between the skin and the flesh, my compacts in which the homage done by them to me is written; and by virtue of these they work such miracles and can not be injured by any one."

-Caesarius of Heisterbach, Dialogue on Miracles V; c. 1220.


VI. Endless Pointless A/Ns!

SIR,

Knowing how doubtfully all Allegories may be constructed, and this booke of mine, which I have entituled The Faery Queene, being a continued Allegorie, or darke conceit, I have thought good, as well for avoyding of jealous opinions and misconstructions, as also for your better light in reading thereof, (being so, by you commanded) to discover unto you the generall intention and meaning, which in the whole course thereof I have fashioned, without expressing of any particular purposes, or by-accidents therein occasioned... (and so for several pages)

Edmund Spenser, The Faerie Queene (introductory letter to Sir Walter Raleigh); 1596.


VII. The Run-On Sentence of Doom!

This art is nothing else but a knowing of the secret and hid things of naturall masterrs and Lovers of the naturall art and wisdome, therefore no body should approach to this art, unlesse he has heard before some Logick, which teaches to distinguish truth from falsehood, and withall the naturall art which teaches the things of nature, and the property of the elements, otherwise he troubles his minde and body and life in vaine, it is a Stone and no Stone, and is found by every body in plane fields, on Mountaines, and in the water, and is called Albida, heerein all physitians agree, for they say that Albida is called Rebio, they name it in hid and secret words, because they perfectly understand the materiam, some say it is blood, others say it is mans hair, others say it is eggs, which has made many fooles and unwise men, that understand no more then the letter, and the meere sound of words, seeke this art in blood, in eggs, in hair, in the Gaull, in Allum , in salt, but they have found nothing for they did not rightly understand the sayings of naturalists, who spake their words in hid language, should they have spoken out plainly, they would have done very ill for divers reason, for all men would have used this art and the whole world would have been spoiled, and all agriculture perisht; seeing it is so that a man must give an account of his workes, I desire god, that he would give me reason, and wisdome, and direct me how I may estrange or conceale this noble art from fooles, which made me say what this stone is; Know my sonne that our Stone as Hermes speakes is in a living thing, out of which saying the true attempt of this art may bee knowne, and because of this saying some according to their folly have sought this stone in beasts, in herbs, in Allum, but they have remained fooles; now I'le tell you what our stone is, Sol, Luna, Azoth, now there are three stones and they are dead upon earth, and end the thing afore in Lunam by the carefull understanding and preparation of man; out of this stone is made true gold and silver the same with naturall; the Scholar sayd how can this bee, for the philosophers say that art is weaker then nature, and you say, out of that stone is made gold and Silver the same with naturall.

-an alchemical treatise ascribed to Arnaldus de Nova Villa; printed 1611.


Fanfic writers? Don't. My research subjects do it better than you.
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Margins reviews
Luna and Snape, unromantically. Though it's mostly about Luna's dad. Also featuring Astronomy, Ravenclaws, freedom of speech, and a drain. Incoherent. Read it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,647 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/13/2006 - Published: 6/1/2005
Blots and Scratchings Out reviews
Snape is displeased with Potter the younger one. Neither Snape nor Potter play much of a role in the first chapter, but things will unfold in due time. Maybe.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 994 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/2/2005