Revan's split personality
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Joined 10-21-04, id: 691387, Profile Updated: 05-03-16
Author has written 14 stories for Star Wars, Splinter Cell, Pirates of the Caribbean, Hellsing, Mass Effect, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Dragon Age.

I write mediocre stories, mostly for my own amusement. Don't ask why I put them up here, because I don't have an answer for that.

I have a habit of starting stories and never finishing them. You've been warned.

All in all, I'm kind of a terrible person. Like, if someone gave you what you thought was a chocolate coated peanut but it turned out to be a chocolate coated piece of dog kibble, I'd be the dog kibble. Not even the person. I'd be the thing that left a horrible taste in your mouth. The taste of regret. That's me.

I actually honestly have time to beta read now, so feel free to ask. Don't take it personally if I don't respond. I'm subject to my whims, and sometimes I get the whim to be a hermit and avoid all contact with the outside world for extended periods of time. Or I get really busy at work. One of the two. If I was beta reading a story for you and got the urge to hermit up, I'd probably still continue to beta read, so don't worry too much about that. That bridge can be burned when we get to it. If we get to it. That's how that phrase goes, right? I don't remember where I was going with this.

Have a lovely day!

PS: We've all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us. - 'Bushes of Love' (find it on youtube)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Seek and You Shall Find by Melicious Intent reviews
Varric has perhaps bitten off more than he can chew with the Seeker. After losing Hawke at Adamant Fortress, he decides to spin a new tale for Cassandra in the hopes of making an unlikely friend. But can his latest story develop into something more between them, or will his past come back to bite him in the ass? (cover art by me)
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 341,736 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 7/23/2018 - Published: 8/16/2015 - [Varric T., Cassandra P.]
Crush by WaywardLassie reviews
Hawke is alarmed when she realizes she is harboring a crush on her closest friend and confidant. It'll pass, right? (Hawke x Varric)
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 91,265 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 3/7/2018 - Published: 3/30/2016 - Varric T., unknown 1
Gestalt by Anne Whynn reviews
They stand on the edge of the abyss and all he can see is her face, the memories they have shared, and the path they have walked, side by side. Garrus/FemShep
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 61,615 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Garrus V., J. Garson - Complete
How to Save the Galaxy, Vol 1 by Gwendolyn Rogan reviews
A parody of farce and folly that follows super-villain-turned-delusional-smuggler Thane Sunrider as he stumbles onto his destiny one afternoon after a late night of ladykilling and droid corrupting. First few chapters can be hard on the eyes. KotOR I
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 52,808 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 1/21/2006
Volume 1: Beginnings by BlueSpiritBoy reviews
After the events on the Yu-gi-oh train, detective Blue begins a adventurous endevour.
X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,768 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/13/2008 - Published: 10/22/2008
A Map to Where? by Shadows Of The Storm reviews
When two girls are thrust into the world of Kotor, their only way home may be the Star Map. But when they finally make it to their destination after venturing through the game, will they want to return home?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,312 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Complete
Intrigues of a Princess by Aerika S reviews
Third part of the trilogy. In postwar Gaea, Eries Aston navigates a tricky political landscape, copes with Celena Schezar's 'eccentricities', tries not to meddle in her sister's marriage and deals with some stuff with some guy named Allen. COMPLETE.
Escaflowne - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 308,032 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 9/2/2008 - Published: 1/30/2006 - Eries A., Allen S. - Complete
Of Knights And Scoundrels by Lazuliblur reviews
Allen Schezar has just received the orders that would change his life forever. He must now come to terms with the rowdy residents of Fort Castelo, while keeping an eye out for far greater trouble. [no slash tyvm]
Escaflowne - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,907 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/22/2008 - Published: 11/28/2005 - Allen S., Gaddess
Delay by plutospawn reviews
Spawned by some discussion over at the Bioware boards. Post game, Jane Shepard and Doctor Chakwas have a conversation.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,473 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/13/2008 - Complete
Star Wars: Lando Caribbean Comes to Town by GaisciochDeEirinn reviews
I do not actually write like this. This is a PARODY of a rather strange troll.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 802 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/17/2007 - Lando C. - Complete
Disneyland by Bastila reviews
Hellsing goes on a jaunt to the Happiest Place on Earth. Why? We don't know. We don't care. Snappy, unrelated scenes for you to partake of.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,720 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/1/2007 - Complete
Pointers and Fangs by Sanis reviews
Walter is forced to talk to a young Integra about rather intimate matters, like intercourse, despite a raging desire not to. Alucard is a nuisance, as usual. Oh, and apparently the infamous butler was once a sex god. Who knew, right?
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,512 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 3/26/2007 - Published: 6/3/2006 - Complete
MarySues An Evil in Themselves by free2thamax reviews
Basically a good MarySue bashing fic. Everyone loves 'em. Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith falls into the world of PotC and meets gasp! Captain Jack Sparrow!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,182 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/20/2006 - Published: 8/18/2006
Boys Will Be by Didodikali reviews
And you thought *Van* was good at getting in trouble. Allen, Dryden and a palace full of girls. Illustrated! Fanart!
Escaflowne - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,807 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 1/2/2003 - Published: 1/28/2002 - Allen S., Dryden F.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Dawn Will Come with Bad Advice reviews
(Rated M for language) Dawn, an unsuspecting and average woman, is ripped through time and space into a different reality with mages, templars, and giant green tears in the sky. While utterly useless in battle, she has a gift for helping with paperwork and somehow becomes the reluctant counselor of the Inquisition's inner circle.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 41,962 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 5/22/2016 - Published: 4/13/2016 - Cullen, Varric T., OC
Side Effects reviews
Random drabbles, mostly centered around dialogue. Coarse language. Rating may be upped, depending on future chapters. Possibility of future chapters pending. Locked doors are annoying.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,073 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/3/2016 - Published: 1/18/2008
The Awkward Inquisitor reviews
Mira Trevelyan is a spoiled noble with a talent for saying and doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Can she be the saviour Thedas needs in its time of crisis, or will she be too busy nervously vomiting behind that building over there?
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,748 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/18/2015 - Trevelyan
Bastila's Undoing, and Random Conspiracies reviews
hate sappy romance novels? hate Bastila? Love lottsa humor and conspiracy theories? Then this is the story for YOU! Newly revived! Man, I'm like a story necromancer! AhA!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,876 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/13/2009 - Published: 3/2/2006
WHAT? reviews
A shameless 'self-insert', to an extent. Huzzah for bottomless RPG pockets and looting corpses! Rating may change with additional chapters. WARNING: Has SWEARING.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,600 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/18/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008
Domino City Dolts reviews
Two teen girls are transferred to Domino City and one is invited to a card game tourney despite the fact that she doesn't play the card game. What will happen? Probably something stupid! Intro chapter is up. It's just a crappy intro, people!
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,840 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/20/2008
The Hellsing 'Institution' reviews
Institution is right...as in they should all be institutionalized. Finally updated! W00T! Integra has finally had enough of Alucard's attitude and decides to do something about it! But will Walter pay the price? Or, more specifically, Walter's Xbox?
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,433 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/25/2008 - Published: 4/16/2007
The Wonderful Adventures of a Moron reviews
my first fanfic...and yeah. tis an ageless story of a scout that gets stranded with another person and things go from bad to weird. Watch out for coarse language. May cause minor skin irritation. The language, I mean...UPDATED! Revived! Undead! ARG
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,055 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/16/2007 - Published: 10/5/2005
Putting the 'Sing' in 'Hellsing' reviews
Another one of those wonderful 'man, if only I was there..' things. Except this isn't me, and mine always end up with huge amounts of humor, a notable lack of romance, and excessive profanity. This is no exception. And no selfinsert fic. Just to clarify.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,620 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/18/2007 - Published: 4/6/2007
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Shut Up reviews
Right. A self insert fic, but mostly reasonable. NO MARY SUE! I HATE that with a passion! See what happens when a vortex of doom appears and blueberry muffins are exchanged! New chapter up! I know, AGAIN!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,580 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/28/2006 - Published: 10/2/2006
Where the Pufferfish Blows reviews
Sam is sent to the pet store! ...it's just a short one, but hey, whatever. TEENSY bit of language. PLEEZ R&R! please...
Splinter Cell - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,323 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/11/2006 - Complete
Daycare Espionage reviews
Not really ALL in a daycare, but it's central...a teensy bit of bad language...way too much insanity. SAM ROX MAH SOX!
Splinter Cell - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,403 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/6/2006
The Star Fromage reviews
cheese. that's all i gotta say...just read it. RR...and i don't mean 'rest and relaxation' by that.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3/2/2006 - Complete
Holy Oceans of Bacon reviews
what happens in the dreams of an insane exdark lord of the sith? needless to say, i'm not quite sure. hopefully, it's nothing like what's in this story. plenty of bacon and insanity.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/2/2006 - Complete