Name: Hayley

Age: 27

About me: Bachelor of Arts in East Asian Studies...that's right I've finally graduated :D

I'm a loveable penguin dictator

Everyone thinks I'm plotting world domination or the destruction of those around me that aren't my friends. Who knows maybe I am?

I'm an insomniac kept awake only be drinking a lot of coffee

I wish I was as awesome as Sue White from Green Wing

Fave manga: Vampire Game, Gravitation, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, xxxholic, Tokyo Babylon, One Piece, Naruto, Nana, Fairy Tail, Bleach, Death Note, X, Kobato, Kimi ni Todoke, Ouran High School Host Club

Fave anime: Any Miyazaki movie, Wolf's Rain, Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, One Piece, Naruto, Beyblade, Bleach, Death Note, Code Geass

Fave games: Final Fantasy IV, VII, VIII, IX, X and XII, Resident Evil 1 and 2, Silent Hill 1 and 3, Shadow Hearts Covenant, Dragon Quest The Journey of the Cursed King

Fave movies: Stand By Me, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Blues Brothers, Back to the Future trilogy, Flatliners, Lost Boys, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Nana, Battle Royale, Taiyou no Uta

Fave TV Shows: Red Dwarf, Black Books, Green Wing, Mighty Boosh, Blackadder, Young Ones, The IT Crowd, Peep Show, 24, Prison Break, Heroes, House, Buffy, Mock the Week, QI, CSI: NY, CSI, Oz, The Inbetweeners

Fave JDramas: Stand Up!!, Kisarazu Cat's Eye, Hana Yori Dango (1 and 2), Hanazakari no Kimitachi e, Tiger and Dragon, Gokusen (1), Orange Days, Ikebukuro West Gate Park, GTO, Rookies

Fave Music: Alkaline Trio, The Distillers, Dir En Grey, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, Hot Water Music, Brand New, New Found Glory, James Brown, L'Arc-en-Ciel, Finch, Gackt, Counting Crows, The Goo Goo Dolls, Do As Infinity, The Smiths, The Cure, Greenday, Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Bad Religion, Arashi, V6, NEWS, Utada Hikaru, Shibasaki Kou, Ikuta Toma (he may still be a Johnny's Jr and hasn't released anything properly but I do love him so), The Clash, Nightmare, Maximum the Hormone, Yui, Aquabats, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Coheed and Cambria, FenixTX, The Beatles, MSI, Spinnerette, Silent Drive, Foo Fighters, Billy Talent, The Lawrence Arms, Reel Big Fish, Rancid, [spunge, blink-182, Bob Marley, Bullet for my Valentine, Counting Crows, Feeder, Incubus, Sublime, The Pogues, Otis Redding, Rage Against the Machine, Aerosmith

Fave books: The Lord of the Rings, The Cather in the Rye, 101 Dalmatians, The Tales of the Otori series, 1984, Fantastic Mr Fox (I don't care if it's a kid's book I've loved it since I was about 6), Lolita, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Animal Farm, Shanghai Baby, Norweigan Wood, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, On the Road, The Hobbit, His Dark Materials trilogy, Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, A Wild Sheep Chase

Fave Authors: George Orwell, J.R.R. Tolkien (these first two are pretty much litereary gods to me), Murakami Haruki, Wei Hui, Hunter S. Thompson, Jack Kerouac, Harper Lee, Valdimir Nabokov, J.D. Salinger, Roald Dahl, Lian Hearn, Philip Pullman

Fave quotes and snipets of drunken conversations:

El - He's like sarcastic velcro.

Me: I can't believe you'd do that
C: What cut off my penis instead of a daimond tie?

C: More like an explosion of goth in a box

C: It's like stroking a snake
Me: A hairy snake
C: A hairy, beautfiul snake. Actually I should have said panther...they have legs.

Me: Behold my amazing technicolour dream coat. The coat of evil dreams!

Ev: Isn’t Nino skinny

Me: Of course he’s skinny; he dances for Johnny

C: You're not comfortable. You're too skinny and you're not made of bacon. Fat people are comfortable except for fat men, they're like tights filled with porridge. But a fat lass, now they're comfy.

Me: I want a war cow!

Sue White: She's not good enough for you. She'll never be good enough for you. She doesn't have a fanny! (Green Wing)

Random sign from Boosh live: I caught crabs from Howard Moon

Lord Flasheart: I have a plan and it's as hot as my pants (Blackadder II)

Sue White: I will answer your questions but only in the language of a crow (Green Wing)

Saboo: You flippin' truncheon (Mighty Boosh)

Moss: I can't go to prison Roy they'll rape the flip out of me (The IT Crowd)

Dr. Statham: Oh my crikey I've sat on her to death (Green Wing)

Will: What's that thing you get when you smoke?

Neil: Sex?

Will: No cancer (The Inbetweeners)

Douglas Reynholm: God damn these electric sex pants! (The IT Crowd)

Blackadder: My life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd (Blackadder II)

Naboo: I'm gonna have to turn my back on you (Mighty Boosh)

Will (whilst his arms randomly flail): Hello. Hello everyone. Can somebody call me an ambulane? Because I'm in trouble. Time is moving really, really slowly and everything's flat. I need you to call me an ambulance or failing that my mummy. I really want my mum because, and I'm not being dramatic, I think I might be dead. Is that clear? Mummy or ambulance. (The Inbetweeners)

Guy: Joy riding? Do I look like I'm enjoying myself?

Mac: Fine I'll check out the penalties for misery riding (Green Wing)

Darling: Made a note in my diary. Simply says 'bugger' (Blackadder goes fourth)

Prince Regent: Sausage time! (Blackadder III)

Dr.Statham: Can I report you for that piercing?

Mac: Only if I can report you for that moustache (Green Wing)

Bollo: I got a bad feeling about this (Mighty Boosh)

Sue White: Oh, all right! Pull yourself together you cretinous Fuckwit! What sort of a man hides in other people's coats? Rocking and whinging to themselves? I'll tell you what sort of a man... a self centered, egotistical wankbot. Now unhook yourself... and stop being so weak. Men don't cry. They are strong hunter-gatherers! So go hunt, go gather and be a total c-&t because that's what you do best! (Green Wing)

Will: I don't want to sound mental but I'm starting to feel a bit like I'm in a bubble. Is this what being high is? Do you feel like you're in a thick bubble?

Jay: No it's cool. I feel pretty nice, like up but down but chilled but like ready to do it.

Will: Oh god. This isn't good. I feel unusual. Why did you let me eat it? Why? My arms feel odd.

Jay: Oh just shut up. Enjoy it.

Will: I think I'm going wrong. Time is going by really, really, really, really slowly. You need to call an ambulance right now beacause I can't use the phone, my arms don't work and my hands are sausages.

Jay: Fuck off.

Will: Jay I'm serious. I feel miles away. I think I might be dying. What if I'm a dead person? Please call an ambulance.

Jay: I can't call an ambulance cos they'll bring the fucking police and I'll get done for dealing. And with looks like this if I go to prison my anal virginity won't last a day.

Will: But my hands... (The Inbetweeners)

Mac: Join me again on next week's episode of Let's Make No Fucking Sense when I'll be waxing an owl (Green Wing)

Rudy: Some call me Cilit Bang (Mighty Boosh - Live Show)

For anyone interested in a forum about fanworks in general check out www.fanbbs.net set up Yoshino in the Moonlight

09/02/2012 - Same as usual I'm really not up to much writing wise. I just can't seem to find the energy for it, work has had me regularly doing 12 hour shifts and my job application to Japan looks like it might be rejected so I'm just really stressed out by stuff going on around me. I hope that tomorrow I might at least sit down and write a bit of something. After catching up on some fics that I've had outstanding since May 2011 I'm feeling like I would like to get back to my own fics which have been very much neglected. Also helps that it's a Friday and the boy will be at work so I can get on distraction free. Have to see how it goes tomorrow...

Story Status:

Cat and Mouse - Chapter 4 up.

Courtesan - Hiatus.

Curing a Cold - Complete.

Dear Mariah - Complete.

Dreaming of a White Christmas - Complete.

Mistletoe - Complete.

My Medicine - Hiatus.

Playing With Fire - Complete

Revenge for a Cold - Complete.

Shinrougumi - Chapter 3 up.

Shizunkana Hibi no Kaidan wo - Chapter 8 up.

Where Are You Now? - Complete.

Winter Night - Complete.

Future Plans: I'm going to start working on a one shot smut fic called Fox Demon very soon. Other than that I'll be updating fics in random order depending on my inspiration for them. Atm it's all about Shizunkana Hibi no Kaidan wo and getting Syndicate started. I still haven't figured out how I want Luffy to meet all the Straw Hats as a Whitebeard crew member so Deserting the Ranks is gonna take a bit more time. I've also had another idea that all depends on if I manage to write decent smut. I've been watching a lot of Oz recently and it's kinda inspired me to do a prison fic with rape and other such unpleasant things. So this one really hinges on the smut writing ability that I have no idea about yet. Oh and at some point Shizunkana Hibi no Kaidan wo will be getting a prequel, focusing on Ace as a BR contestant, and a sequel, which I don't want to say anything about yet cos it'll spoil things. Anyone else think I'm biting of more than I can chew?

Deserting the Ranks: An AU One Piece fic. What if Luffy had left with Ace to become a pirate and had ended up a member of Whitebeard’s crew? Over the years he meets the perfect members for his own crew and eventually deserts the Whitebeard pirates. When Ace is sent to retrieve them will he carry out his orders or remember his own promise with Shanks. ZoLu, AceSan

Fox Demon: AU One Piece smut fic set in Feudal Japan. When Ace is left for dead by his commrades he has to make his way back to the castle alone. On the way he meets Sanji who waylays him for a while. Samurai AcexFox demon Sanji. Inspiration for this came from reading about fox demons that transformed into pretty women to seduce men.

Inmate (this one might not happen but I hope it does): When Sanji is sentenced to time in prison for manslaughter he's going to lose more than his reputation as a renowned chef. With Blackbeard as a cell mate Ace is concerned about what will happen to the new inmate and tries to protect him. AceSan, BlackbeardSanji rape and no doubt of bunch of other yaoi pairings on the side cos it's set in a male prison (perfect excuse for some yaoi action).

Syndicate: An AU One Piece fic. When Blackbeard leaves the White Tiger crime syndicate it creates problems for the four big syndicates. Now they have to form an alliance to deal with him and prevent him from taking them all over. But the alliance is bringing its members closer in more ways than one. LawKidd, ZoLu, AceSan and possibly more.

I will write the next chapter...but will I really write the next chapter?