pianomaestra
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Joined 11-18-04, id: 706973, Profile Updated: 07-27-12
Author has written 3 stories for Eyeshield 21, and Naruto.

I am pianomaestra. Or a very fat squirrel. HOMG WHICH IS IT--

This should be noted right here and right now: I am lazy. Chronically so. Horribly so. So much that it is a DISEASE. So, if I don't update, it is not because I have a good reason. It is because I couldn't be bothered to write anything. Can you bitch at me for this? Oh fuck yes. But I'd rather you send me waves and waves of love and joy and happiness and rainbows and teddy bears and all that good crap. Or reviews. That's even better.

Kung Fu Fighting is undergoing a rewrite atm, mostly because I can't stand to look at it and continue it anymore in the shape that it is. After that's done, progress will probably happen. Hopefully.

As a reward: here, preview of revised (more like rewritten) chapter 1: Dossiers.

When Hatake Kakashi had been assigned another team of genin, he hadn't expected the sheer amount of paperwork that came along with them. The papers towered a foot and a half tall, and had been delivered by the Hokage himself. The old man had eyed him gravely, told him “you've got your work cut out for you,” and then left him with a monstrous amount of dead trees. Kakashi was almost afraid to look at them. He eyed the papers with equal parts disdain and trepidation.

The paper tower was divided into three sections, each bound with thick clasps bursting to capacity. He considered flinging them all down from his perch on the academy rooftop, but he was afraid they would hit an innocent passerby. Said passerby would instantly die from the impact, and then there would he be? Being jailed for murder via paperwork was not the way he pictured his life going.

It wasn't that he was particularly upset about having a new genin team—there was always that spark of hope that they'd be the one, the team that he'd lead to greatness—but they had entirely too much baggage for twelve-year-olds. And he'd always hated paperwork.

Kakashi steeled himself and took the first packet from the pile. There was twenty minutes left until he was supposed to meet his genin team, and that gave him several hours to go over this mess. The title cover read “Hiruma Yoichi”in neat, bold print. He sighed at the name. He had a Hiruma on his team. Hirumas hated him.

The first page was the beginning of a report from the boy's earliest days in the academy.

“Another Hiruma in the academy. I swear, that family breeds like rabbits. Something about him seems a little off, though—his physical capabilities are slightly below average for a six-year-old, let alone a child from the oh-so-esteemed Hiruma clan, yet the other students are already staring to defer to him. I could've sworn I saw one student offer to give him his entire weekly allowance. Maybe I should keep an eye on this boy...”

The second entry was written a few weeks later.

“Unbelievable. The other students have started to treat this boy like a king—no, that's not entirely accurate. It's more like he's a tyrant. They scramble to get out of his way when he walks by. They give him their lunch money as if they were sacrificial offerings for a vengeful god! Worst of all? I saw him come to the academy one day in a carriage drawn by his peers. He'd tied harnesses to their waists! They didn't even object!

The boy is smart as a whip and exceptionally talented with a kunai, but the other students, at the very least, have comparable physical abilities. There's no reason to believe they couldn't overpower him if they tried. I just can't understand why they kowtow to him like this.

Regardless of the methods he is using, I can't have a bully running rampant in my classroom. I'll have to have a chat with him first thing tomorrow.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the third entry. The handwriting was so shaky it was hardly legible.

“Clearly I was just being paranoid. There is nothing wrong with Hiruma Yoichi, nothing whatsoever. He is an extremely intelligent student with a bright future ahead of him. In fact, I recommend he be promoted several years early to genin in a team that will never contact me, or at the very least moved to a class of more advanced individuals in a room far, far away from mine.

I believe this will be my last report on Hiruma Yoichi, as he is a model student, and needs absolutely no surveillance or evidence of his existence and deeds. It would be preposterous to think that he somehow has the entire class, including me, under his thumb. Yes, entirely preposterous.”

Kakashi squinted at the final line, written in miniscule print and crossed out several times. From what he could tell, it read : “Help me!” He hoped he was wrong about that one.

The very next page stated that Hiruma Yoichi was officially transferring to another class.

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The First Flower of Spring by Evil Is A Relative Term reviews
Because every ninja comes from somewhere. Lacking a presence in any ninja village, the Haruno are a clan just the same. Beholden to the traditions of her family, Sakura is changed, as are Team Seven's dynamics. What will become of them?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 90,167 - Reviews: 1364 - Favs: 1,642 - Follows: 1,760 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Sakura H.
Loyalty by A True Radical Dreamer reviews
Sakura is ensnared in a world of deadly intrigue her last year in the Academy. As an unwilling agent of Oto, can she discover what it means to be loyal in a world that promotes deception? Will that loyalty conflict with her growing sense of self-worth? AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 131,578 - Reviews: 431 - Favs: 589 - Follows: 643 - Updated: 8/3/2014 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Sakura H.
Tsunade's Heir by funkmasterjo reviews
Tsunade adopts Naruto. What will life be like living with two medic nins and a mother who's playful fingerflicks could bash through trees? Now how about adding an infamous pervert and a philosophic demon to the mix?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 198,601 - Reviews: 2199 - Favs: 3,089 - Follows: 2,939 - Updated: 9/7/2013 - Published: 8/2/2006 - Naruto U.
Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term reviews
After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 220,628 - Reviews: 2959 - Favs: 2,603 - Follows: 1,550 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 9/18/2008 - Sakura H., Neji H., Itachi U., Sai - Complete
Oswego High School Host Club by the real jinxauthor reviews
Thomas Smith sets out to become the best Tamaki Suoh cosplayer that Kana-Kon has ever seen! But before he can win the grand prize, he needs to collect the rest of his host club...
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 54 - Words: 120,718 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Tamaki S. - Complete
Remnants of a Forgotten Dream by FFPA reviews
Slight crossover fic between Naruto and Bleach. A chess match to rival all chess matches has begun. It all starts with a new soul arriving in Seireitei with reiatsu rivaling even that of their strongest. And now a conspiracy has begun to unfold.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 107,502 - Reviews: 641 - Favs: 958 - Follows: 1,012 - Updated: 5/25/2011 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Naruto U., T. Hitsugaya
Fox Magic by AkaiTsume reviews
A decision made in the heat of the moment leaves Sasuke questioning his past, his future, and his convictions, all while dealing with an ancient, all-powerful fox demon whose grudge transcends both time and space. NaruSasuNaru, canonish AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 170,192 - Reviews: 1722 - Favs: 1,563 - Follows: 1,603 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Love At First Sight for the Mentally Unhinged by hollyivy7 reviews
Kyoko needs to get it in to her head that Hiruma Youichi is not an elven prince by any stretch. Ren thinks that he should be getting paid for this. Hiruma is thankfully unaware. crack!crossover. NOW NOT A ONE-SHOT ANYMORE.
Crossover - Eyeshield 21 & Skip Beat! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 2/2/2011 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Hiruma Y., Kyoko M.
Recombinant by Petite Doll reviews
Something strange is revealed about Ryoma, and the Seigaku regulars will never be the same! aka: "Why couldn't you have been magical GIRLS?" AU, but not extreme. UPDATED!
Prince of Tennis - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 45,582 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 9/9/2006 - E. Ryoma, Fuji S.
Brother by hadaka reviews
It's official, someone up there hates him. kirskipkat's Brother prompt.
Eyeshield 21 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 19 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Torakichi N., Sena K. - Complete
Incubus by Odyssion reviews
Itachi lets Naruto know exactly whose fault it is that Sasuke has defected from Konoha.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,288 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/9/2008 - Published: 1/28/2006 - Itachi U., Naruto U. - Complete
Wrought Iron Cages by Razvanor reviews
We all live in one iron cage or another. Some cages are simply more stained with guilt and pain. Nightwing, fettered to the life of an assassin. Starfire, chained to the life as an alien freak.AU Teen Titans
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 50,748 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/3/2007 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Robin, Starfire
The Seashell of Wishes by Chibi Zia reviews
AU, Haruhi Fujioka is a normal village girl, living with her father, up until she learns that her destiny is much greater than she ever expected. Starting on a journey to save the world, will she survive the hardships on her journey AND her companions?
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,392 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Published: 9/29/2006 - Haruhi F.
The Confessional Game by Miiko Ashida reviews
[AU] When Aoyagi Seimei, a volunteer at a mental hospital, is kidnapped, Ritsuka vows to find and rescue him. He doesn't count on getting help from some unlikely sources, like his brother's ex, Soubi. [NiseixSeimei, SoubixRitsuka, SeimeixRistuka]
Loveless - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,870 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/30/2006
Lunchtime by Saadia Mirage reviews
Haruhi is absent at lunchtime and Tamaki lets his imagination run wild. Oneshot. TamaXHaru Sorta prequel to Courtship.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,164 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 25 - Published: 5/12/2006 - Haruhi F., Tamaki S. - Complete
Mythology by ifonlynotnever reviews
WIP. Weird, drabbleish. Odd AkiRu, some ToriRu. Shigure called her a flower. Akito wanted his goddess. And Hatori was tortured by a name.
Fruits Basket - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,451 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/16/2006 - Published: 6/9/2005 - Akito S., Tohru H.
Bloodlines by The SOC Puppet reviews
Knocked unconscious by Orochimaru's attack, Naruto awakes to discover a shocking secret about himself.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 163,000 - Reviews: 2239 - Favs: 2,564 - Follows: 1,719 - Updated: 3/18/2006 - Published: 5/20/2003
Friendship Story by Letta reviews
Itachi receives a number of packages from Konoha while various people wonder about Naruto's mental health. Itachi Naruto FRIENDSHIP. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,924 - Reviews: 769 - Favs: 2,807 - Follows: 403 - Published: 12/15/2005 - Naruto U., Itachi U. - Complete
Blast to the Supposed Past by Alexnandru Van Gordon reviews
Slade’s up to something and the Teen Titans are determined more than ever to stop him. But what happens when two persons come from the future—one aiming to aid Slade’s plan and the other to help the lone Robin (attached: AlloMeToLiveLikeYou)
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 53 - Words: 176,948 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/23/2005 - Published: 1/7/2005 - Slade, Robin
Enchantment of the Heart by Velf reviews
A few more days in Chihiro's new life. Will her fledgling relationship with Haku blossom? Or fall fowl of the differences between immortal and mortal? An Epilogue to Courage of the Spirit.
Spirited Away - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 75,118 - Reviews: 1121 - Favs: 1,353 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 8/20/2005 - Published: 4/7/2005 - Chihiro O., Kohaku N. - Complete
Set In Stone by The SOC Puppet reviews
AU. When the Leaf Village abandoned Naruto to die as a baby, the last thing they expected was for him to come back as a shinobi – and perhaps an enemy.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 39,965 - Reviews: 617 - Favs: 850 - Follows: 772 - Updated: 7/24/2005 - Published: 2/13/2004
Bathroom Blitz by Dr. Jekyl reviews
Five Titans. One bathroom. If you've ever lived in a shared house, you'll know this isn't exactly an optimal situation.
Teen Titans - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,738 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/14/2005
Foxhound by Kraken's Ghost reviews
Discontinued. After his training with Jiraiya is interrupted by an Akatsuki attack, Naruto makes a dangerous gamble with the Kyuubi in order to survive. AU after manga 238.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 239,130 - Reviews: 1847 - Favs: 2,430 - Follows: 1,644 - Updated: 6/15/2005 - Published: 3/4/2005 - Naruto U., Ino Y.
Cherry Blossoms in Winter by Princess Starfire of Tamaran reviews
Mild humor. Starfire's not sure where she belongs. The Titans are wonderful, but growing feelings for her leader are making her uncomfortable. A battle with Red X leaves her even more confused about her true place and where her affections lie. STARROB
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,307 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/3/2005 - Published: 3/25/2005
Happy Families by girlstarfish reviews
[AU character spoiler for episode 50] When Hughes suggested investigating a murder to help Roy get over his ex-girlfriend, neither of them had any idea what they were getting in to.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,242 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 11/14/2004 - Published: 11/6/2004
Love Remains by girlstarfish reviews
(AU) Tohru is delighted to live in the Souma mansion but quickly discovers the house hides a mystery. Can she rescue Yuki and Kyou from the family's dark past or will the curse claim another victim?
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Angst/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,450 - Reviews: 337 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/16/2003 - Published: 10/31/2002
Grass Under Your Feet by dementedchris reviews
A few years down the road, Yuki comes home to ask Tohru something he should have a long time ago.
Fruits Basket - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,922 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/12/2002 - Yuki S., Tohru H. - Complete
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And Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting reviews
Kakashi was almost excited about having a genin team--right until he actually met them. Pure Eyeshield 21/Naruto crack. Slight Yamato/Sena.
Eyeshield 21 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,969 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 6/22/2011 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Sena K., Takeru Y.
Public Indecency reviews
Kung Fu Fighting verse: Gai makes a promise he can't keep, and Otowara Makoto paves the way for an age of understanding and respect for fellow man. For a few seconds, anyway.
Eyeshield 21 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/15/2010 - Otowara M. - Complete
So Says the Bard reviews
In which Naruto, dared to get the most unapproachable, asexual person he knows on a date with him, writes a love poem to the best of his abilities. Itachi, suffice to say, is not amused. Itachi/Naruto. Also crack.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Naruto U., Itachi U.
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