Jedi Knight Padme
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Joined 12-01-04, id: 712941, Profile Updated: 02-22-10
Author has written 5 stories for Fairy Tales, Treasure Island, Misc. Books, and Kingdom of Heaven.

Crazy Canadian teenager.

Hopelessly in love with fictional characters.

Firmly believes that half the time, filmmakers and story-writers get their romantic pairings wrong, and thus uses FF to counter the damage.

Preferred fandoms include:

Star Wars: Comedy, parody, and romance. Anakin/Padme; Obi-Wan/Siri, and occasionally Obi-Wan/OCs; Qui-Gon/Shmi and Qui-Gon/Tahl.

Harry Potter: Comedy, parody, and romance fics, usually one-shots. Strongly recommend series by Kerichi, such A Tale of Two Matchmakers; Simply Irresistably; Don't Call Me Daddy; and Once In A Blue Moon.

Draco/Ginny and Hermione/Ron pairings, and occasionally Harry/Ginny; also Dumbledore/McGonagall. Almost anything to do with Fred and George Weasley, as long as it's not slash.

The Lord of the Rings: Comedy and parody. Down with all slash pairings! Best LotR fanfic ever written: Elanor's Revenge (find under my favourites).

PIRATES! Obviously, PotC. Am, however, very selective. For others obsessed with piracy, not neccessarily linked to PotC, I recommend an amazing book: The Sweet Trade, a historical fiction about Anne Bonney and Mary Read. Am in the process of writing a pirate story myself, a sequel to Treasure Island. First few chapters are posted here, however, it's unlikely I'll continue anytime soon.

The Phantom of the Opera! I read the book a while ago, and also saw the movie. Loved them both. Raoul-bashing ought to be a national sport. Erik/Meg Giry - Christine is far too stupid to deserve someone as delicious as the Phantom.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka scared the ~~~~ out of me when I was younger, but upon watching the movie again later on in life, I found myself being mysteriously attracted to him. Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka was also very scary to see; he made me think of child molesters. ~Shudders~ Nonetheless, there are some really good fics with Depp as WW that aren't creepy, but cute.

Kingdom of Heaven: Movie plot: Lame. Orlando Bloom as Balian: Vomit Salahhuddin and Mullah Khaled? Hot damn, they are MINE, I tell you, MINE! Only two KoH fics (discounting my own) exist that are worth reading: The Path to Heaven and Gentle, The Night.

Veronica Mars: Who the hell came up with the stupid idea of freaking CANCELLING THE SHOW?! WeeVer and Weevil/Mac all the way... hell, anything with Weevil.

On an unrelated note: Go here because that's where an old acquaintance has some stuff of his posted, including an old joint story work in progress that will never be completed... titled 'Of Idiots and Coffins' (or 'On Idiots and Coffins'; something of the sort). Quite ridiculously and hugely amusing.

You know the drill: Read and review. Don't make me go all Jedi mind tricks on you.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Jedi Council: Behind the Scenes by WearTheMask reviews
What really happens during an average day of the Jedi Council. Parody. Meaning much OOCness. Read and review!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 35 - Words: 82,069 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 6/17/2014 - Published: 6/5/2005
Forget Me Not by roberre reviews
"You cared for me," she says, slowly. The words sound strange on her tongue, because he didn't care for her and nobody cares for her because nobody knows her (because she doesn't know herself). The woman with no memories and no name attempts to repair the shattered fragments of her life, and Gold stays in Storybrooke.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 95,897 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 4/5/2014 - Published: 2/11/2013 - Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold, Belle - Complete
By Any Other Name by Clockwork Mockingbird reviews
Isabelle French worked for Mr. Gold and everything was fine until he started calling her Belle, because then she started calling him Richard, and it all spiraled out of control from there. In Storybrooke, you have to fight for your happy ending. AU Storybrooke. Rumbelle.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 43,250 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 3/12/2013 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Belle, Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold, Ruby L./Red Riding Hood, Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard - Complete
Regelen by rowan-greenleaf reviews
In which Dumbledore's incessant meddling pays off, as Harry Potter finally gets a break and Draco Malfoy gets screwed; sort of...D/G fic, winner of multiple awards in The DG Forum Fic Exchange - Spring 2010.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,189 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 1/1/2013 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Draco M., Ginny W.
Blood and Cherries by rain and leaves reviews
It's Ginny's sixth year, the war is over, and life is back to normal . . . until she wakes up in a bed with green hangings. TRGW, HPGW, DMGW, rated for language, implied sex and violence. Don't be scared off by the number of chapters, many are short.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 48 - Words: 84,113 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 1/12/2004 - Ginny W., Tom R. Jr.
The Fine Art of Self Pleasure by blackraven23 reviews
DracoGinny On a particularly horrid Thursday afternoon, Ginny Weasley skips Charms to sulk in a fourth-floor bathroom, and overhears a conversation about something she thought never would be spoken of in the hallowed halls of Hogwarts-- masturbation. DMGW
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,711 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 9/30/2009 - Ginny W., Draco M.
Beltane Pt 1 by fury-shashka reviews
This. Is. Shite.' Ginny’s voice was grumpy and so very, very taut." One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,764 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Ginny W., Draco M. - Complete
Gentle, the Night by The Noble Rot reviews
A young Bedouin slave named Rana tells the tale of her life and the great love she holds for her master. Welcome to the one and only Salahuddin fiction.
Kingdom of Heaven - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 80,923 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 12/12/2005
Il Dragone by rowan-greenleaf reviews
Malfoy leans in,and I fancy I'm about to get welcomed. I catch a whiff of his personal scent;something like vanilla and...boy.Yum. "We don't have all day," he informs me, "Have a seat or leave, but don't just stand there, looking like an idiot." Right.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 99,866 - Reviews: 928 - Favs: 358 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 1/20/2009 - Published: 10/6/2008 - Ginny W., Draco M.
Once Upon a Freakin' Time by Evadne reviews
The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 29,923 - Reviews: 1960 - Favs: 2,042 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2002 - Voldemort, Severus S.
Forget Me Not by Sache8 reviews
COMPLETE! Senator Sabé Naberrie of Naboo is unexpectedly reunited with an old friend when she requests aid in uncovering a threat to her people. Sequel to Dance With the Stars. SabeWan fic. Cowritten with Melyanna
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 19 - Words: 113,747 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 10/2/2007 - Published: 10/23/2004 - Obi-Wan K. - Complete
Making Friendship Bracelets For The Death Eaters by Avada Cruimperio reviews
They may be called Death Eaters, but this group of minions are anything but evil, and they've decided to replace the Dark Mark with something much more fashionable... friendship bracelets!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 62,025 - Reviews: 931 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 7/27/2005 - Voldemort, Severus S.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Myth by LunaDea reviews
Palpatine's plot to create an evil empire has been foiled, and all is right with the universe. That doesn't mean that Anakin & Co. can't still get into a lot of trouble... Chapter 46: The Skywalkers are homeless. What to do?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 46 - Words: 45,179 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 7/10/2007 - Published: 5/26/2005 - Anakin Skywalker
Elanor's Revenge by Juliediane reviews
Determined to punish Haldir for toying with her sister’s affections, Elanor undertakes to teach him a lesson. Will she succeed? Or will Haldir turn the tables on her? COMPLETE
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 320,530 - Reviews: 555 - Favs: 711 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 7/8/2007 - Published: 1/26/2004 - Haldir - Complete
Sign and Semblance by kerlin reviews
[GSR established] A night of culture gone awry proves that the CSIs never really have time off.
CSI - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 24 - Words: 59,542 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/17/2006 - Published: 11/5/2005
Little Shop Of Chocolates by Daemon faerie queen reviews
Set after the Tim Burton film. When feisty flowergirl Isabelle gains too much attention from the Amazing Chocolatier, the Wonka business is at stake. And no one should get on the wrong side of an Oompa Loompa...
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,485 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/7/2006 - Published: 12/14/2005
Monsieur and Madame le Fantôme by AngelofMusic8578 reviews
Erik returns to the Opera Populaire after five years, only to find it's being haunted by a new ghost... Will he and SHE get along? EOW. Watch for sequal The Ghost Who Loved An Angel.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 51,372 - Reviews: 428 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/26/2005 - Published: 8/31/2005 - Erik - Complete
The Return of the King by Doc M reviews
Someone's been tampering with the KoH script, killing characters who survived historically. Is a 12C feud being replayed as a game of literary revenge? Can you commit regicide by script? What about death by falling dwarf?
Kingdom of Heaven - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,803 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/5/2005 - Published: 7/23/2005
Scent by savage benediction reviews
When the mob leaves Erik comes back to pick up the pieces, but it seems he has an extra pair of hands to help him. Almost, but not quite, ErikMeg.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/31/2005
Away by deathstarcakewalk reviews
ObiSiri, one year after the Clone Wars. No Imps, no darkside. ObiWan and Siri think about each other when ObiWan is on a mission. Silly fluff. 0703: Update!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,182 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/3/2005 - Published: 4/15/2005 - Obi-Wan K.
And Rock Me Asleep by Nerweniel reviews
The story of Minerva McGonagall's life and of the quest which changed it. ADMM.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 14,678 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/2/2005 - Published: 12/28/2004 - Minerva M., Albus D.
CodeBreakers, CodeMakers by JalendaviLady reviews
What if things had gone a bit differently in The Phantom Menace? Qui-GonShmi.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,663 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/24/2005 - Published: 2/17/2005 - Qui-Gon J. - Complete
The Trial by Aulok24 reviews
Minister Cornelius Fudge prepares for the most important trial since the days of the Dark Lord. A humorous look at the Wizarding Court - I threw this together in about an hour, so it isn't my best writing. Just enjoy the story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,298 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/1/2005 - Published: 1/30/2005
More Than His Master by Blancwene reviews
Seven vignettes describing, through contrasting prose styles, the relationship between ObiWan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. Master and Apprentice. Teacher and Pupil. And perhaps even something akin to Father and Son. Part IV up!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,387 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/1/2005 - Published: 12/2/2004 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker
Falls the Shadow by Elizabeth Culmer reviews
After his seventh year at THAT place, Petunia has a final meeting with her nephew.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/30/2005 - Petunia D., Harry P. - Complete
THE LIFE & TIMES OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER or by Nite Owl I reviews
HOW I BECAME THE ULTIMATE DARK-FORCE SCOURGE OF THE UNIVERSE, DRIVEN BY HOMICIDAL RAGE AND AN INSATIABLE DESIRE TO EXTERMINATE ALL WHO OPPOSE MY ABSOLUTE AND DIVINE WILL. Ever wondered what happened between Episodes I & II? Really, you have to read it.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,317 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/1/2004 - Anakin Skywalker
How Do I Love Thee by LadyKayoss reviews
Movieverse Otto Octavius has never been a Ladies Man. So what's a poor supervillain to do when he suddenly finds himself the most desirable man in New York?
Spider-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,231 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/1/2004 - Published: 10/5/2004 - Complete
The Taming of the Sith by obaona reviews
A little AU off of TPM. Cute, deranged humor. M&P. Complete.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,412 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/18/2004 - Complete
A Girl's Gotta Protect Her Reputation by chris dee reviews
Cat—Tales 1: the stories about Catwoman are getting out of hand
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,289 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/5/2001 - Published: 3/8/2001 - Selina K./Catwoman, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Mullah and the Princess reviews
Princess Zainab finds it amusing to challenge Mullah Khaled at council meetings, but she doesn't laugh when her father wants her to marry him! Turns out the Mullah isn't so thrilled, either..but something happens that neither of them expect!
Kingdom of Heaven - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,438 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 9/25/2006
TreasureIsland2Silver on the Sea reviews
Elizabeth Hawkins & Thomas Livesey discover the map to Treasure Island, & head off to recover the horde of silver left for grabs! But a certain Angel Silver has her own plans...
Treasure Island - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,840 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/23/2006 - Published: 3/14/2005
A Fractured Fairytale reviews
A guy in a tower, a girl in shining armour, & a dragon. What do you get? A Fractured Fairytale, of course! Join Kate & Corin on their Marvelous Madcap Misadventures! NEW CHAPTER! READ & REVIEW!
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 14,398 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 11/23/2005 - Published: 2/2/2005
The Lily Maid's Lament reviews
Elaine, the Lily Maid - a ballad or lay (or something I hope is remotely passable as one) from her point of view as she floats on her death-barge to Avalon...
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/18/2005
3 Little Pigs Meet Notsolittle Red Riding Hood reviews
Stupid title, but not a stupid story! Red Riding Hood isn't so little, has an attitude, and teams up with the Big, Bad Wolf to catch three little pigs for lunch Madness, Mayhem, and Hilarity! Pretty please Read and Review!
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,153 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/9/2005 - Published: 2/8/2005