Author has written 2 stories for Star Wars.
"Masry," he began. "I want you to do me a favor."
"Well, I did steal your woman, I guess I owe it to you."
"I want you to teach me how to get a woman."
Masry thought for a moment. "Alright. I'll teach you everything I know."
"Thanks man, I appreciate it."
"No problem. Now the first thing you need to know about women is that they make very little sense. They never say what they mean, But they expect us to know what they're talking about."
"But you said they don't say what they mean?"
"Then how do I know what they mean?"
"You never really know. There's a lot of guessing involved. But an important thing to remember is women know no synonyms. Each word has a different shade of meaning."
"Shade of meaning?"
"Yeah, like mad and upset. To you and I, they mean pretty much the same thing, but to a lady, they have two completely different meanings."
"You're kidding me."
"That's crazy. I had no idea!"
"Not only that, but woman aren't as visually oriented as men; they don't care about our looks as much as we care about theirs."
"That explains Sheila."
"Touche. Most women are attracted by a keen intellect."
"Now that explains Sheila. Anyway, women love chivalrous, polite men. For example, opening a door for a women can get you a long way."
"Unless you're dealing with a feminist."
"Yeah, then she'll walk through the door and once she's through, she'll break your legs with a heavy blunt object. But anyway, back to chivalry. Open doors for ladies, use manners, carry bags for them, et cetera. And if see someone insulting a woman, defend their honor. Try to avoid a fight, most woman don't appreciate violence, but do what you have to."
"I think I'm beginning to understand."
"Glad to hear it."
"Here's a quick review. Each word means something different to a woman. Women are more impressed by intelligence than by looks. Always be polite and mind your manners in the presence of a woman. And ladies don't like violence. Got it?"
"One more thing, always remember that all ladies are different. Some prefer a 'bad' guy, others like chivalry. Some women like violence and some even say exactly what they mean. Try your best to determine what type of woman you're dealing with and act accordingly."
"That's a lot to remember, but I think I got it."
"Good. I think you might be ready for a test drive."
From Star Wars Legends 2: The Ammon Brothers
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