TheRadMonkey
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Joined 12-11-04, id: 718421, Profile Updated: 07-18-12
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter, and Suikoden.

'ello =D my name is iLy, and I just got out of the Army a month ago. i spend about 3/4 of my time either on the computer, at work, or drunk off my ass(i'm a lightweight).

Contrary to popular belief, I DO have a life, a very busy one, and because of my life, I get great ideas for stories (such as the ones you'll be reading)

I don't have a favorite color, I appreciate all of them, because each color contributes something to the world, and it would suck be be blind, color or otherwise.

I miss high school, and i hate myself for missing high school.

I'm probably not going to college, but if I were, I'd go to be either a music producer or a music video director. My dream is to be in a famous band.

My favorite music is Rock, though I do have an odd fixation with both Rhianna and the Jonas Brothers(mostly because of that 'move on' song. That was priceless).

I live in Texas.

I am closet bi, and I secretly want to have children one day (single mother, preferably).

I don't have a religion, not because I can't decide, but because I choose not to care.

My favorite books are the Harry Potter books, books with Zombies, and the Wheel Of Time books, excluding the fact that Rand is a whiny bitch.

My favorite band is Avenged Sevenfold, though Panic! At the Disco and Escape the Fate come in as close seconds. If I could have sex with only one famous musician, it would be Shakira, because her hips don't lie. Or Max Green, because he is a God, and I love his favorite body part as much as he does, maybe more.

I think the majority of gay guys are hott, and curse them everyday for not being available.

My guilty pleasures are mostly cigarettes, and the sexiness that is Nick Jonas, even though he's like two years younger than me (I swear I'm not a pedophile).

That's pretty much it. If you have any questions...you know where I am...

1.Fred Weasley
2.George Weasley
3.Draco Malfoy
4.Luna Lovegood
5.Neville Longbottom
6.Severus Snape
7.Hermione Granger
8.Seamus Finnigan
9.Minerva McGonagall
10.Ron Weasley
11.Sirius Black
12.Remus Lupin

1. Have you ever read a six/eleven fic? Do you want to?

Snape/Sirius No. Yes

2. Do you think four is hot? How hot?

Luna...well, yeah I think the girl who plays her character in the movie is pretty hot. Usually I'm not into blonde women, but I wouldn't mind spending some time with Evanna.

3. What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant?

Sirius getting Seamus pregnant. Well that would be kind of weird and very improbable, since Seamus is a guy. Or at least I think Seamus is a guy.

4. Can you recall any good fics about nine?

I don't think I've read any fics about McGonagall herself. I've read plenty good fics with her in them, but...

5. Would two and six make a good couple?

George and Snape? I think that would make a fucking funny couple, but not necessarily a good one =).

6. Five/nine or five/ten?

Neville/McGonagall Neville/Ron. I can't see either of those pairings going well. Poor Neville.

7. What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve having sex?

If Hermione walked in on George and Remus having sex, the world would explode in Sirius-shaped glitter.

8. Make up a summary for a three/ten fic.

Draco and Ron. Okay. Ron Weasley thinks that Draco Malfoy pokes fun of him because Draco hates him. Draco just likes watching him blush.

9. Is there any such thing as one/eight fluff?

Fred/Seamus. Hell, I don't know. Probably.

10. Suggest a title for an eight/twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Seamus/Remus...'The Werewolf and the Irishman?'

11. If you wrote a songfic about Twelve, what song would you choose?

'I'm Not A Vampire' by Falling In Reverse. Because Remus is not, in fact, a vampire.

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Fred/Snape/Remus? Humor, without a doubt.

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

I read a Neville/Blaise fic a few days ago. I don't remember what it was called.

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

"Fred and Hermione are in a happy relationship until Hermione runs off with Luna. Fred, broken hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Sirius and a brief unhappy affair with Remus, then follows the wise advice of Neville and finds true love with Draco." Is it wrong that that makes sense to me?

15. Would 3 and 7 make a good couple?

Draco and Hermione...well, who am I to judge.

16. How would 9 react if 11 died?

I'm pretty sure that McGonagall wasn't too happy that Sirius died. But who was, really?

17. Who would most likely join the Order of the Phoenix, 6, 3, 9, or 10?

Snape, Draco, McGonagall, or Ron? How about we just say that Draco is least likely to join the Order of the Phoenix.

18. Who would most likely become a death eater, 2, 5, 8, or 11?

George, Neville, Seamus, or Sirius? ...Seamus...?

19. Who would make a better couple, 6 and 9 or 2 and 4?

Snape and McGonagall or George and Luna? Probably Snape and McGonagall. Maybe.

20. Who would you rather have as a sibling, 3, 6, or 7?

Draco, Snape, or Hermione...that's really hard. I guess Hermione, because if I was related to Snape I'd be old and if I was related to Draco I couldn't have hot kinky sex with him. Not that I can anyways, because he's obviously a fictional character.

21. Who's more likely to watch TV right now, 6, 9, or 11?

Snape, McGonagall, or Sirius. McGonagall, since she's the only one who didn't die.

22. Who would you rather marry, 1, 4, 6, 8, or 11?

Fred, Luna, Snape, Seamus, or Sirius. Fred or Luna, definately. But since gay marriage is illegal in the U.S., we'll go with Fred. Wait, would that make me a widow?

23. Write a summary for a tragedy fanfiction about 5 and 9.

Neville and McGonagall...oh shit. Um...'As Minerva McGonagall lay on her deathbed, Neville remenisced about all of the times they'd spent together'? I hate tragedy fics.

24. For a fanfiction about 2 and 8, what would the genre(s) most likely be?

George and Seamus. Humor, or Hurt/Comfort I'd think. Maybe.

25. Who would most likely kill who, 1 kill 2 or 9 kill 5?

Fred kill George or McGonagall kill Neville. Obviously the second one.

26. Who would make the best Auror, 6, 9, or 3?

Snape, McGonagall, Draco. McGonagall, I suppose.

27. Who's most likely to have more kids than the Weasleys, 4, 6, or 10?

Luna, Snape, or Sirius. Once again, Snape and Sirius are both dead, so Luna. Though even if Snape and Sirius weren't dead, I'd still go with Luna.

28. Who's better looking, 6 or 9?

Snape or McGonagall? Um...neither?

29. Would you rather adopt 1, 5, 6, or 12?

Fred, Neville, Snape, or Remus. Probably Neville. Snape and Remus are both old enough to be my father and as much as I adore Fred, I wouldn't have the patience to deal with him as a child.

30. Which of your answers would make the most sense to 8, that's about them?

Seamus...18, I guess, because none of them really make sense to me.

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Reflections of Us by Caranina reviews
The first time Naruto sees Gaara, he sees himself reflected in those eyes as they stared through the window. GaaNarGaa with some Kaka/Iru. yaoi.This story is rated M for a reason!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 158,347 - Reviews: 734 - Favs: 905 - Follows: 884 - Updated: 12/2/2013 - Published: 8/23/2007 - Gaara, Naruto U.
White Lies by Cassis Luna reviews
(COMPLETE) Draco drinks a potion that makes him know if a person is lying, and Harry, apparently at fault that Draco is this way, is forced to 'help' him with the effects of the potion. For the first time, they deal with each other with no lies to hide behind. HPDM RWHG BZNL SSRL
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 181,740 - Reviews: 1372 - Favs: 2,621 - Follows: 1,925 - Updated: 9/27/2013 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Art of Seduction by WriterInDress reviews
Rose and Albus always dare each other to do something outrageous in the beginning of the year, and this year Rose was dared to seduce a certain Slytherin named Malfoy. Rose accepts the challenge but a challenge it will be. Hate/Love/Sex. ScoRose fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 97,428 - Reviews: 1146 - Favs: 1,083 - Follows: 751 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 5/5/2009 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
A Captain's Kink by LilFerret79 reviews
The one where Ianto discovers how innovative is done. NC17/Adult. Warnings: Graphic Sex, Language, Mention of Mild BDSM. No copyright infringement is intended.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,661 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/23/2011 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
And it's Taken me With it by Allanasha ke kiri reviews
Sequel to TWGC -- Harry's back where he belongs, but it's not how he expected it to be. Can he pretend nothing has changed while still preparing to face his 'destiny'. All in all, he's looking forward to an easy year, but, when has anything ever been easy
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 93,036 - Reviews: 1091 - Favs: 528 - Follows: 789 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Harry P.
Not at Hogwarts by aspenandeleen150 reviews
Luna, Ernie, Hannah, Seamus, Nott, Fred and George have detention with Professor Trelawny but when the unsuspecting teacher leaves the room, the students band together and come up with a plan that will put them down in Hogwarts History.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 61,792 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 6/13/2006 - Theodore N., Luna L.
Once by MissingEden reviews
First rule of Quidditch: Never trust the words of the bludger-addled. But words and a kiss…that’s something else entirely. Something that just might change Harry Potter’s life. Draco/Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 44,923 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 1/27/2010 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
The Child of Magic by Cerdwyn3 reviews
Ginny had always been in the background of Harry's life, what will happen when she is forced into the spotlight by Lord Voldemort, Harry, the late Sirius Black or was it the fates and prophecy that caused such a thing. Disclaimer- I own nothing
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,702 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 11/25/2004 - Ginny W., Harry P.
Revenge is Sweet by Nikki Flinn reviews
Ginny never knew how to be herself. She was afraid to. But when her best friend betrays her, Ginny has to let herself out of the gilded cage she's put herself in.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 10,507 - Reviews: 337 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 5/2/2006 - Ginny W., Draco M. - Complete
A Darker Tale by Chrystal Slara reviews
A Muggle by the name of J.K. Rowling wrote a story about a boy. I'm here to tell you that she didn't get her facts straight. This is the real story, a darker story, of Harry James Potter. Rewrite, HPDM other pairings, lots of smut
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,325 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 2/26/2009 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
Brilliance by a. cavall reviews
Al doesn't always think his actions through, which can lead to moments of brilliance. AS/S one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,385 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M. - Complete
Unlikely by StillThereForMe reviews
Not even Gabriella accepted them, and she was the one they were counting on for support. So suddenly, if they wanted to survive and stay together, they now needed to learn to be like ice too. Chyan, Shaylor
High School Musical - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,296 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 10/15/2007 - Published: 9/27/2007 - Chad D., Taylor M.
From the Diary of Draco Malfoy by ShadesofWhite reviews
That's right...I have to keep this journal, and write in it everyday. Being a Malfoy sucks, ya know?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,176 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 5/24/2006 - Published: 2/16/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G.
The Glass Half Full by TogepiStars reviews
Ever wonder what happened to the other trainers that left Pallet the day Ash did? It's time to find out! Join a shy girl, a goofy Charmander, and a serious Cubone as they discover that journeys are not all cotton candy and fun like they're portrayed as.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 38,660 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/27/2005 - Published: 3/9/2005
Hermione Granger's Diary by angryoldmen reviews
This is getting quite pathetic, really. There are more wards on my secret stash of romance novels and seduction how-to guides than are on the entrance to my quarters." Chapter 10 is up. More World Cup, Hoorah!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,075 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/31/2004 - Published: 11/1/2004 - Hermione G., Remus L.
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Hogwarts: The Musical reviews
Eighth year for Harry Potter was supposed to be normal. And it is...except for the fact that the students are bursting into song at random moments. HP/DM RW/HG NL/BZ
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,897 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 3/30/2012 - Draco M., Harry P.
Headstrong reviews
After the defeat of Voldemort, a few students have decided to return to Hogwarts and finish their education. Living in a place full of confused, horny, ptsd-ridden teenagers is more difficult than one might assume, however. NL/BZ SF/DT TN/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,216 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 1/15/2012 - Neville L., Blaise Z.
Children For Dummies reviews
Or: What To Do When You Are F.U.B.A.R. After the war, Emily has enough to deal with as it is. Now she's got to take care of her newborn nephew and thirteen-year-old sister as well. This probably won't end well. OC/GW HP/DM RW/HG and maybe more.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,159 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/10/2012 - George W., OC
Silence is Golden reviews
SUIiii - Jacques/Watari - To say Jacques was confused...wasn't right. Jacques knew what he wanted, he just didn't exactly know how to go about getting it. Rated M for quiet boys who have fairly loud sex.
Suikoden - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,778 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/4/2009 - Complete
The Michevious Three: Year o1 reviews
Albus Potter, Rose Weasley, and Scorpius Malfoy raise hell in Hogwarts for their first year. Starts after Epilogue in DH. AP/OC RW/OC SM/JP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,141 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 5/22/2008 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M.
The Snogging Spin the Fire Whiskey Bottle reviews
Well...the titles self explanitory really...Harry Potter and friends play Spin the Bottle with a Fire Whiskey bottle. In that Gryiffindor common room all hell breaks loose. Just read and review! COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,499 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/19/2006 - Published: 12/31/2004 - Harry P. - Complete