Author has written 17 stories for Pokémon, Sonic the Hedgehog, Aliens/Predator, Jhonen Vasquez, and Invader Zim.
As of now, I'm figuring that my profile needs desperately to be changed. So I will chnage it. I will change it so good!
Name: AzureF... or at least that's what I'm known HERE by! Call me Keroshe...
Things I Hate: Social people, huggy people, talkative people, children, work, chocolate, pac-man, the color pink, time, the concept of mortality, viruses, critics, politics, and football.
My normal day: Wake up, get on computer, eat supper, get on computer, get on internet, RP with friend, go to sleep. I live such an interesting life, ne?
And now, because personally I LOVE these things, here are a bunch of one-liners that I thought up when I was bored. There's a lot of them... a LOT. And any writers out there who are looking for a good comeback for their char to say can feel free to use them as they want. I'd be honored, especially if you sent me a link to it to I can laugh at seeing soemthing I thought up used as a witty comeback soemwhere!
I want peach pie… with apples!
Um…. Is ‘I don’t know’ a valid answer?
To the MOOOON!
Technically, I don’t believe that’s even possible…. Or moral….
‘Kinda’ is NOT a yes or no answer!
I’ll sic my pet rock on you!
No, I wasn’t listening; is that a problem?
My headphones are magical. They enable me to tune out the annoying power of assholes.
Wait a sec; I need to write myself a note to never listen to you again…
You consider THAT ‘small’?
I am burned by the cuteness…. Burning…. Burning… GAHHH, MY EYES!
Nah, I’d rather torture this little stick figure eternally….
In what context did you expect that to work the way you planned…?
Wow, bad ideas come in dumb packages….
Death isn’t a bad thing… when it happens to people you don’t like.
Yay, I am so enthused I’m gonna go fall asleep on the couch.
In my world, everyone exists; they just all exist to serve me.
When do we get to the point where I get to gouge people’s eyeballs out with random pointy objects?
Friggen Flyin’ banana skins!
The enemy of my enemy is just another goddamn freakin’ enemy!
Holy freakin’ mother of shit!
Reality is highly overrated.
I’m gonna go home and stare at the walls or sumthin….
Wow…. It really CAN stick to the ceiling….
Y’know, it’d be better all around to never ask me that again.
Since when have I been helpful?
Water burns me… just like sunlight, and cute things, and everything I conveniently hate.
Why should I help when I know you’ll do it anyway?
Time to… WRITE ON PEOPLE WITH SHARPIE MARKER!
Yesterday is a forgotten tomorrow
I WANNA GOOOOOooo…. Huh?
I scream for joy… No really, I do. I don’t care if my face is completely straight; I’m f-cking SCREAMING for damn JOY!
If I make a sound like a snore, that means you’re boring me and you should stop talking.
‘Parental Advisory’ usually advises parents to stay out of the room while the music is playing.
Y’know, if aliens came to the earth a million years from now and listened to our music…. They’d think we were a pretty messed up species.
A picture is worth a thousand words… although THAT one is worth mostly swear words.
Nope…. Not happening… ever.
In a three dimensional world of nothingness, how can you possibly know what way is up?
Killing two birds with one stone invokes PETA.
I wanna wear a funny hat and dance on the lawn with a lightning rod… in a storm!
What brought this on?
Is there a world threatening disease spreading that I don’t know about…?
Lemme guess, we’re all gonna die a horrible, screaming death?
In the world of today, everything is possible…. And I just now learned to regret that….
Damn, I missed vital organs….
Do I LOOK like I can walk through walls?
I gotta tell ya, if I could see through inanimate objects, I’d be making a lot more money than I am now.
Lesse; spikes, horns, claws, and teeth? My kinda monster!
I can fllllllllly! …Or not! -Thud-
You wanna catch their attention? Spin something shiny on a stick.
Caffeine: The Dull Person’s Gateway Into Madness
Greetings, I come from the town of Sane!
I’ve looked at it from every angle, and I still say that that’s just disgusting.
Nylon socks and a waxed tile floor: transportation for the lazy person.
In all definitions of the word, I see nothing that would make that sentence make sense.
Oh, look, a cute little animal…. Let’s kill it!
On a boring day, do something constructive. On a constructive day, do something destructive!
Do I hear courtesy? You must be straining your last brain cell!
Ooooh, it can think!
…You know, out of all the things I could’ve been expecting, THAT was not one of them….
Maybe if you asked nicely…?
Let’s paint it pink!
When in doubt, stare blankly until something comes to you.
I never thought I would be DEAD, no.
Wait; reiterate that!
Oh, so THAT’S what that thing is for….
I choose at selective random.
Light cannot shine without darkness.
A day without sunlight is…. Dark out.
I fail to see the motivation.
Finishing our sentences is always helpful.
A rock has many uses, but my favorite is to throw.
Duuuuuh, I dunno…
Why do I always have to do it?
And that’s the way my dreams are flattened
You take my word that fire is hot, now?
I will so enjoy kicking your ass when this is all over.
Can I get a ‘H-ll yes!’
Insanity is just a term the deluded use to describe the truth.
I have decided to be boring today, so please stop talking with me if you value your own mental safety.
Keep that look; I want blackmail footage later.
It’s a fake sticky eyeball, what’s NOT to love?
I don’t like the term ‘zoning out’. ‘Contemplating the abyss’ sounds so much more productive.
Is it supposed to do that?
Spontaneous combustion is beginning to look preferable.
Right now I’m wondering why I bothered to ask your opinion.
Look, a scribble! Lets sign our name and sell it for a million bucks!
Killing is not a contemporary way to make new friends.
My wallet lives on money. Feed the wallet!
And you think that earns you my respect…?
Yeah, and I wish you were dead, so what?
You seriously need a mint.
The grass needs mowed! I think someone just tried to hide a dead body in our front lawn!
That didn’t USED to be there….
I dunno, either. I just do what the gnomes tell me to.
Of all the things that could’ve been said, you had to come up with THAT…!
What clued you in to that little fact?
I speak Dorkus.
No, I charge to correct idiots. That’ll be ten bucks.
F-ck the contestants. I win!
IIIII liiiike unessccessary letttttersssssss…
Well, that was entirely out of context.
If you stop harping on it, it might just go away!
I make learning fun.
I just thought you’d like to hear of my stupidity.
I am not weird…! I am eccentric!
That’s nice…. Now please excuse me while I go wipe my brain of such images.
Violence is not the answer! It’s the means to get one!
Somewhere in the world a field of butterflies burned at that statement.
Do you EVER shut up?
Sticking a large needle through my nose, while possibly my level of insane, is NOT what I consider something I’d be prone to doing.
I am not awake!
All signs point to ‘F--CK no’!
Can’t you see I’m attempting to ignore you?
Wait, how can you deny something you can’t even remember?
Fun and pointless things make the world go ‘round.
I’ve never heard so many swear words in a coherent sentence.
Looks like someone got into the wrong chemical…
I must hug the poofy!
Just because it runs away doesn’t mean you have to blow it up.
My brain has been blinded by the implications.
I prefer to use big words so the intelligence-deprived portions of humanity are unable to infer my insinuations.
I’m sorry; it’s a force of habit.
All things come in fuzzy…. You just haveta find the right mold.
Flammable materials are my friends.
I’d like a cheeseburger plain, please…. with the cheese.
Are you quite ready to listen to sanity, now?
I’ll…. Friction off your skin with a nail file!
The day I listen to you is the day I lose my self-respect.
It’s not serious until there’s blood spilt… then it’s serious FUN.
Go ahead; ignore me. I’ll just fling potato chips at you until you die.
I think my reality check bounced.
If I say that my tongue’ll go numb.
Think we’ll get a personal phone call about it?
Blinking is not an answer
An entire leg of pork is not what I consider a ‘snack’.
Complain again and you’ll find out.
No, I do not want fries with that!
Go to hell… and bring back bacon!
Never mind, I don’t think my sanity could handle it.
You need a chicken suit to go with that girly scream?
Tell me about it when you can speak without laughing.
Just because the world hates you doesn’t mean you can’t have fun paying it back.
That sounds like a personal problem.
On second thought, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Your timing is equivalent to being stabbed by a fork… repeatedly.
Hugging you would be against my moral standards.
Does it really matter right now?
Hey, the world is gonna blow up, isn’t that great?
I’ll believe that when the chickens reveal alien life in the universe.
Vent your anger on me! I deserrrve ittttt!
Just know that I hate you as of this moment.
Less talk, more diabolical evil!
Getting it myself would involve unwanted physical movement.
Heaven is a day without moronic questions.
You just keep tightening down that cap, don’t ya?
They make it sound so complicated…
I’d hire you if you weren’t so primitive.
I’m not sure what he said, but the tone in which he said it makes me suspicious.
How can I help you if you won’t shut up?
I wish, but those types of things just don’t happen without significant blackmail.
You go through the things, that look like those other things, and then you say that thing….
I would consider it insulting if you DID understand me.
If I gave a crap I would probably not be laughing my ass off.
That came out so much better than I had expected…
Well… there goes my twenty bucks….
And we PAID for this!
That would have been intelligent had you not said it with that expression….
If I KNEW I wouldn’t be asking you, now, would I?
That little red beeping light means something’s wrong and you should fix it.
Which odds do you think would sound better?
Hit me with it again and it’s going up your ass.
That classifies as clear?
Even if I could understand you, the answer would be no.
Begone, foul demon-spawn!
I find it sorely lacking in any form of glee or joyful feelings.
I find it suspiciously crunchy.
I am suddenly afraid to declare myself bored…
If I agree with you will I get out of having to do it?
Let’s all just conveniently forget this ever happened, right?
Looks like you got run over by a four-ton dung beetle with a full load.
Perhaps we should buy stock in Kleenex?
It looks totally wrong…. And I love it!
Good job! Have a cookie!
Maybe if they poke their eyes out they’ll be ready to listen.
Hey, that was my favorite frying pan!
Next time, hit it a little harder. I don’t think the imprint of your face is clear enough yet.
You expect me to care?
Apparently, my interpretation differed from yours.
Please stop crushing me with your ass.
Fear me, for I obey the crayon-people.
I use only three words to describe you, and none of them are good.
The blinding flash informed me quite well that I will never be allowed to forget this moment.
Even in mortal peril, you just never let it go, do you?
Isn’t that a little unproductive?
My virus blocker got a virus….
Cleanliness is not a world plague that ‘must be stopped’!
If it were happening to anyone else it would be hilarious.
Care to say that again? Oh, but this time keep in mind which of us is holding the crowbar.
You run like a headless chicken on crack.
I’d choke you, but I’d have to take five baths.
The creepy undead bunny doll is pointing at me again.
I get the feeling that’s supposed to mean something…
This is all well and good, but perhaps I need medical attention?
I’d sleep on it, but I don’t think I’d get a good rest….
Very clever. Now how are we going to stop the raging demon?
Stabbing people with pencils is not office work.
Nor is stapling people to the wall considered contemporary art.
Are you sure that’ll be effective?
Just cue me when the time comes to run screaming out of the room.
He finds a revolving door confusing; what makes you think he’d understand that?
Will I get paid for that?
Sorry, I still have will to live.
That knowledge brings whole new levels of wisdom I never knew existed.
This is my idea of fun!
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to eat it or set it on fire…
Pop a stitch, why don’t ya?
Just because it’s brightly colored doesn’t mean it can’t kill you.
Never on a full stomach.
Don’t rush me; I’m making a decision.
It’s squishy and comfortable; therefore, I care not what it is.
Sharing for me is giving someone else the wrapper.
Kick me harder, why don’tcha?
Open the doors to your mind and shut the ones to your mouth.
Why are you staring at a blank screen again?
If life were a game I’d die on the first level.
Kicking ass, old school.
Of course I’m not angry. I just have this fiery halo around me for the hell of it!
Don’t I feel like the invisible one?
My name is unimportant… so much so that I have forgotten it.
Aiming to make me deaf, now?
NO, I’m NOT…. Oh wait, I am…
I feel as if I’m eating dog food.
Ask me again in five seconds. The answer might change.
You look like a deranged cat mauled you.
Be all high on yourself like that.
Get off your high horse before the sucker throws ya.
I’m weird and you’re an idiot… let’s team up!
Why fear hell when you’re immortal?
Over a hundred choices and none of them good enough….
It speaks to me, and it tells me you’re ugly.
‘Kitty’ will rip your eyes out.
Very interesting…. Or it would be if I were a socially deprived recluse with nothing better to listen to.
Forget fair, I want it all!
‘Painless’ is filled with pain, now?
Yes, because I so enjoy explaining simple things to idiots.
I’m surprised you caught that.
Isn’t that super fuzzy wonderful?
Say it in a squeaky voice this time.
Give me a minute to laugh my ass off.
I care for the sole reason that I’ll get something out of it.
Let me explain exactly why that should never happen.
I’ll address the problem when you tell me where you want it.
Oh good, I thought you were talking to yourself for a moment there.
Um… maybe I wasn’t as sure as I thought.
It is the illustrious color of week old puke.
You’re not desperate or nothing, huh?
Actually, I stopped listening to you as soon as you began talking.
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
News flash! Toast is toasted!
I’m just a cold, heartless b-tch… care to warm me?
Peanut butter rules my soul.
Vanity will get your face smashed in with a rusty hammer.
Name one time that you ever succeeded without my help.
Okay, who’s the assigned voice of reason for this venture!
Are you saying physical harm is prohibited?
I wish I knew….
I need special asshole-vision goggles.
No, I put him out of his misery, there’s a difference.
Did the microwave explode or is that your new hairstyle?
Amazing what you can do with jellybeans these days….
My eyes are big because I’m trying to make up for your squinting.
I consider that a Technicality.
Oh look, a flying monkey…. I didn’t tell them to go out today!
Now would be the time to pray for someone to save us, huh?
What am I gonna do with a soggy rodent?
I think it’s dead now, don’t you?
--Are you guys dead yet? No... Okay! Well, listen to this!
In the Eye Of a Pale Storm
Planned Future Fics:
Avant-Garde: Continuing her dimension hopping adventures -much to her charign-, Jess finds herself where else but stuck with more aliens! But not just any aliens... but a tall, snack loving kind... Oi, this is gonna be a long few days...
Royal Blue: After a freak storm that causes massive floods over much of the city, Dib goes out to explore to discover... Tak? What the-?
Fear my powers...